When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.

- C. S. Lewis

I seek not beyond death. It may be the blackness averred by the Nemedian skeptics, or Crom’s realm of ice and cloud, or the snowy plains and vaulted halls of the Nordheimer’s Valhalla. I know not, nor do I care. Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is an illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content.

- Conan of Cimmeria, Queen of the Black Coast, Robert E. Howard

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

- Aristotle

Sidney-Come on, Cherokee!
Dewey-Yeah, she’s doing great. Look. [He has a copy of Gale’s book, The Woodsboro Murders.]
Gale-What are you doing with that?
Dewey-Will you sign it for me, Gale?
Gale-You hate that book! Besides, I’m done with that kind of reporting.
Dewey-For me. Will you sign it for me?
Gale-You’re a nut! [She takes the book and opens it to reveal an engagement ring. She looks at Dewey]
Dewey-Will you?
Gale-Dewey!
Dewey-I know it’ll never work, and you know it’ll never work, but what I’m asking is just to see if we’re wrong. We don’t know everything, Gale. Well, you think you do. [They laugh]
Gale-You’re a brave man, Dewey Riley.
Dewey-I’m really scared right now.

Gale kisses him. She puts on the ring.

- Scream 3

Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?

Vivian: When I was a little girl, my mama used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often. And I would- I would pretend I was a princess… trapped in a tower by a wicked queen. And then suddenly this knight… on a white horse with these colors flying would come charging up and draw his sword. And I would wave. And he would climb up the tower and rescue me. But never in all the time… that I had this dream did the knight say to me, “Come on, baby, I’ll put you up in a great condo.”

Edward Lewis: So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?
Vivian: She rescues him right back.

- Pretty Woman

Player: You have something we want… a Finger of Sartek.
Minotaur chief: All you will get from us is a cold axeblade between your eyes!
Player: I didn’t think you would give it up without a fight.
Minotaur chief: We are Minotaurs. We do NOTHING without a fight!

– Warlords Battlecry III

- Analyze This

I accepted their insults, their frauds, their extortions. I thought I could afford to ignore them — all those impotent mystics who prattle about their souls and are unable to build a roof over their heads. I thought that the world was mine, and that those jabbering incompetents were no threat to my strength. I could not understand why I kept losing every battle. I did not know that the force unleashed against me was my own. While I was busy conquering matter, I had surrendered to them the realm of the mind, of thought, of principle, of laws, of values, of morality.

- Hank Rearden, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand

Sam: What do you think of the White House, Max?
Max: There aren’t nearly as many roller coasters as you’ve led me to believe, Sam.

- Sam & Max: Abe Lincoln Must Die

Filled to the brim with darkness deeper than night, with bitterness hotter than the depths of hell - that’s coffee.

- Godot, Gyakuten Saiban 3

- Sting

- The Police, Spirits in the Material World

Insult not the White Wizard, for I have many powers. Here, pick a card. Any card.

- Goodgulf Grayteeth, Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon

In some respects, science has far surpassed religion in delivering awe. How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, “This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed”? Instead they say, “No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.”

- Carl Sagan

Sam: Max almost lost a finger in a fan like that once.
Max: Yeah, but it wasn’t my own finger.

- Sam & Max (new series)

Cherryl Brooks: There’s something I want you to know, so that there won’t be any pretending about it. I’m not going to put on the sweet relative act. I know what you’ve done to Jim and how you’ve made him miserable all his life. I’m going to protect him against you. I’ll put you in your place. I’m Mrs. Taggart. I’m the woman in this family now.
Dagny Taggart: That’s quite all right. I’m the man.

- Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

I drink to make other people interesting.

- Groucho Marx

“Welcome to Lornadoon,” said Lavalier, rising slowly to her feet, and it seemed to the company that she was as fair as a young sapling or scrub oak. She had magnificent chestnut hair, and when she shook her head, handfuls of magnificent chestnuts dropped to the floor like rain. Frito toyed with the Ring and wondered at her great beauty.

“I see, Frito,” she said, “that as you toy with the Ring, you wonder at my great beauty.”

- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon

Don’t smoke, kids. Unless you’re on fire. Then it’s only natural.

- Max, Sam & Max: The Mole, the Mob and the Meatball

My job? Taking care of crazies like you. Making sure you don’t go and hurt yourselves with your deviant powers. And cookies, I make cookies.

- Lonk the Sane, Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn

Chocolate is a serious thing.

- Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation

…”This is an evil place, I fear,” said Arrowroot, slipping on the sticky black paint which covered every inch of the land.

“It is the Black Valley,” said Goodgulf solemnly.

“Are we in Fordor already?” asked Frito hopefully.

“Do not mention that black land in this black land,” said the Wizard darkly.

- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a man a sword and he can feast on the meaty marrow of evil!

- Minsc, Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn

In science it often happens that scientists say, “You know that’s a really good argument; my position is mistaken,” and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn’t happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion.

- Carl Sagan

I mean, we’re only human beings, and what’s a human being? A weak, ugly, sinful creature, born that way, rotten in his bones—so humility is the one virtue he ought to practice. He ought to spend his life on his knees, begging to be forgiven for his dirty existence.

- James Taggart, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand

Why, a four-year-old child could understand this. Run out and find me a four-year-old child; I can’t make head or tail out of it.

- Groucho Marx, Duck Soup

Jump on my sword while you can, evil! I won’t be as gentle!

- Minsc, Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn

- Alfred Hitchcock

Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.

- Groucho Marx, Duck Soup

“That leaves only Fordor,” said Orlon. “But even a retarded troll would not go there.”

“Even a dwarf,” admitted Legolam.

Frito suddenly felt that all eyes were on him.

“Couldn’t we just drop it down a storm drain, or pawn it and swallow the ticket?” he said.

“Alas,” said Goodgulf solemnly, “It is not that easy.”

“But why?”

“Alas,” explained Goodgulf.

- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon

- Babel

- Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan, 1892, Act I

The dead swans lay in the stagnent pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occassionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool’s mire.
They also smelt a great deal.

- Paul Neil Milne Johnstone

Why should I care about posterity? What’s posterity ever done for me?

Swords, not words!

- Minsc, Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn

[in a Ferrari dealership]
Roger the Car Salesman: My name’s Roger, Sir. May I be of some help?
Memphis: That’s funny, my name’s Roger… Two Rogers don’t make a right.
Memphis: Roger, I have a problem…
Roger the Car Salesman: Yes?
Memphis: I’ve been in L.A. for three months now. I have money, I have taste. But I’m not on anybody’s “A” list, and Saturday night is the loneliest night for the week for me.
Roger the Car Salesman: Well, a Ferrari would certainly change that.
Memphis: Perhaps, Mmmm. But, you know, this is the one. Yes, yes yes… I saw three of these parked outside the local Starbucks this morning, which tells me only one thing. There’s too many self-Indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money! Now, if I was driving a 1967 275 GTB four-cam…
Roger the Car Salesman: You would not be a self-indulgent wiener, sir… You’d be a connoisseur.
Memphis: Precisely. Champagne would fall from the heavens. Doors would open. Velvet ropes would part.

- Gone in Sixty Seconds

I would love to believe that when I die I will live again, that some thinking, feeling, remembering part of me will continue. But as much as I want to believe that, and despite the ancient and worldwide cultural traditions that assert an afterlife, I know of nothing to suggest that it is more than wishful thinking.

- Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.

- Natalie Wood

Power don’t come from a badge or a gun. Power comes from lying. Lying big and gettin’ the whole damn world to play along with you. Once you’ve got everybody agreeing with what they know in their hearts ain’t true, you’ve got ‘em by the balls.

- Senator Roark, Sin City, Frank Miller

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

- Groucho Marx