Quotes for Idiots

Science

Frankerson Peterson — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 13:03:29 +0000

As the rats rushed out of the box, stabbing him with their crudely made shivs, he began to think he wasn’t meant to be a scientist after all.

Frankerson Peterson — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 13:03:32 +0000

It takes two to tango, but it takes only one to turn off the tango music and laugh at the two still doing the tango without music.

Frankerson Peterson — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 13:03:17 +0000

Looking intently into his eyes I could see a deep, dark sadness that chilled me to the bone — he was a carnie.

Frankerson Peterson — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 13:03:08 +0000

I don’t know why the neighbor’s kids can have their lemonade stand but I can’t have my freshly killed rats stand.

Frankerson Peterson — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 13:03:36 +0000

Bacon is the rich man’s sausage.

Frankerson Peterson — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 13:03:18 +0000

Pooping in the dark is hard at first, but once you find the toilet paper it’s mostly smooth sailing.

Frankerson Peterson — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:03:53 +0000

I used to love grave dancing until the time a zombie hand reached through the ground and grabbed my leg. That took most of the fun out of it for me.

Frankerson Peterson — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 14:00:25 +0000

Be nice to your computer. It knows all of your secrets.

Frankerson Peterson — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 14:00:25 +0000

They were never as popular as lawn darts, but toilet darts are still my all-time favorite dart.

Frankerson Peterson — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 14:00:39 +0000

Take the time today to call up an old friend and say hello. This is a good way to remember why you stopped talking to him.