R2D2's Journey....... Through The WOG

A Different Attitude

2008-06-13T06:58:00.002+08:00

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As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. (Jn 9:1-3)

I must admit, that when bad things hit, my first thought is similar to that of the disciples. What did I do wrong? Or more often, my response will be to whine, to complain, to grumble about how unfair it is (I may not openly say it, but what I am doing is effectively accusing God of being unfair & unjust).

How little I truly understand the will and purposes of God in my life! Indeed, that kind of attitude unconsciously revealed for all to see my unbelief in God's promises in Jeremiah 29:11!

God forgive me! I am now asking God to help me attain a new attitude; so that I can say with conviction, just as Paul did:

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Cor 12:8-9)
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Jeremiah 29:11

2008-06-08T22:00:00.001+08:00

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For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jer 29:11)

My entire working career has been a testimony of the faithfulness of God as promised in Jeremiah 29:11.

It started when I graduated from the university in 1995. Concerned about landing the first job, I really had no idea where I should go. So I followed my classmates in applying for jobs in various multinational companies. I did not have the impressive grades some of them had, neither am I the hardcore "engineering type" who could answer complex technical questions at job interviews. I remembered telling my interviewer then not to ask me technical questions, but that if they are willing to take me, I believe I could learn quickly on the job. Guess what? I got the job, instead of some of my friends who had far superior jobs. God's provision? Most definitely.

So began my 5 years in a wafer fab. The start was difficult, but by God's grace, I did well, and was widely acknowledged to be one of the top performers among my peers. Promotions came, and by the end of the fourth year, I was leading a group of engineers. By then, I was married, my wife was pregnant, and work was getting too busy, and out of hand. Almost everyday, I got to work while it was still dark and never left the office till it was dark. And with rising financial commitments, I needed a better paying job too.

It was at that time that Ps YC was leaving his managerial job in his company, so he helped circulate my resume to his colleagues. It was not long before I was offered a better paying job there. God's favour once again. Not to mention that my old company offered me a promotion and a 4-figure salary increment to tempt me to stay. It was tempting...but realising that the new job was God's provision, I left anyway. And how did I know it was the right decision? Consider this...one week before I reported for work in the new company, a new bus service was started and it links my house to the doorstep of my new office. Uncanny? Nah...just God's provision and perfect timing.

So I have been in here since. Almost 8 years, and I have changed internal jobs 3 times, each time for the better. And everytime, it was NEVER initiated by me. Somehow, God's faithfulness is always at work, ensuring that I do well and as a result gained favour with the management. So whenever job rotation opportunities arise, I was approached by management to take up the job.

My current job is again is a testimony of that. It was a rare opening from our HQ in USA to run a critical portion of the worldwide business process. It was never before opened to non-US folks. I was initially hesitant, as expections were high, and I was kinda risk adverse, being comfortable where I was. But management persisted in trying to persuade me, and after also sensing God's call to increase my "influence" in my job, I took it up. That was 2 years ago. It was the most difficult, complicated and demanding job so far. Again by grace, I did well, and I became known to many people in the company in both the regional and worldwide offices. It also helped me build a skill-set that expanded my scope and horizon, making me able to take up jobs beyond technical roles.

That is to prove instrumental in God's next step of career development for me. A few months back, My worldwide division underwent a massive re-structuring and re-organisation. Many senior managers did not survive the reorganisation. My job was safe, but with the massive structural change, the relevance and value of my role takes a massive hit, and with that, advancement prospects are no longer as good.

It was a little worrying...and I did ponder how I should respond to that...should I start looking for other jobs within the company? I had hardly surrendered the matter to God when my office phone rang. It was a call from the regional office. One of their staff holding an important position had just been transferred to another division and they are inviting me to apply for her vacant position!

Wow...talk about immaculate timing. I prayed and I just knew this was God's open door. I could almost recognize his fingerprints on this opportunity. With His grace and favour, I aced the interviews this week and was just informed last Friday that I have landed the job, with very realistic potential of moving on to my next job grade if I do well in this new appointment.

What can I say? God is faithful, and no one is better at planning my career development than He is. May all glory, honour and thanks be unto Him!
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Take Heed

2008-05-30T06:24:00.001+08:00

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"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."

(Rev 3:14-22)

Familiar chapter on lukewarmness, but never fails to make me uncomfortable, because it paints a reflection of me that I would rather not see. No Christian wants to be called "lukewarm", but the unfortunate fact is that many of us are. I am definitely a culprit as well.

I am neither "hot nor cold" when I can go through most parts of my life without a conscious sense of dependence on God. I am lukewarm when I think I am doing well in the sight of God and men, often making many decisions without first seeking the guidance and direction of the One I call Lord, so ften neglecting and ignoring the presence of God in my life.
I depend on my gifts, my abilities, my resources to get me through situations, in making decisions, often taking so many things for granted. I often pride myself on how capable I am to be able to do all that I can. How often do I pause to give thanks to the Source of my the resources, gifts and abilities? How often do I really allow God to decide for me, instead of assuming what I want for my life will have the approval of God?

When was the last time that I have rejected the easy path, and chosen God's narrow path for me, to forego comfort so as to allow God's fires to refine me?

What am I wearing now? Clothes that look good in the eyes of men, which is nakedness to God, or the white clothes of righteousness of Christ?

What are my eyes looking at now? Is my vision so tuned to the ways of the world that I have become blind to what really pleases the Lord?

Ps YC gave us all a good reminder recently from Psalm 147 on what really pleases the Lord:

His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man;
the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.

We may have gotten many things wrong, especially if we think that it is our earthly achievements that gain us His favour and delight.

But there is hope. The loving & heartwarming words from our Heavenly Father are in Rev 3:20-22.

It starts with me. Take heed. Repent. Overcome.
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Thoughts at 38

2008-05-28T12:59:00.000+08:00

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Watched Iron Man yesterday on my 38th birthday. Good movie; definitely one of the better superhero movies. Casting Robert Downing Jr as Tony Stark was an excellent choice, possibly as good as Hugh Jackman/Wolverine. Wrong casting will kill any superhero movie. (Remember George Clooney as Batman/Bruce Wayne? That was really BAD...)

But I digress..... actually what left a deep impression from the movie was the dialogue between Tony Stark and Yinsen when they were prisoners in Afganistan. Yinsen basically told the hedonistic Tony Stark that despite the fact that he may be one of the richest and most intelligent man alive, but if he lives just for himself and not for loved ones and family, then he is but "a man who has everything, but in fact has nothing".

And Yinsen's final words to Stark: "Don't waste your life".

Profound words....not too far from what Jesus said in Luke 12:15b - "..Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions."

Words to ponder as I approach mid-life. The things I pursue in life, how I live, and who I live for. What is the legacy I want to leave behind?
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Being Watched Over

2008-05-21T12:43:00.001+08:00

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I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

(Psalm 121)

It dawned on me how often we take things for granted. We forget that when things go well, it is because the Lord God Almighty is watching over us.

We travel safely to work and back home each day...
We don't fall down and break a bone when we walk...
We don't succumb to the millions of viruses and bacteria all around us...
We have good food and clean water each day...
We are not ravaged by cyclones and earthquakes...
We have peace and a good government in the land...
We can worship God freely without persecution...

It is by the love, grace and mercy of the one who watches over us faithfully without slumber.

I had an experience recently which vividly reminded me of God's invisible hand watching over even the "more mundane and less important" area of my life. Let me elaborate:

Every month, 10% of my salary goes into a savings plan with the company. Every 6 months, the money accumulated is used to buy our company's shares on Wall Street at a discount, after which I can choose to hold on to the shares or to sell them via a computer stockbroking system in the company.

Just his month, another lot of shares came into my account. I needed some money to balance the accounts, so I decided to sell these shares, but I have no idea what is the best price to sell them. So I arbitrarily set a significantly higher price than the recent stock price, hoping that the price will rise to that level, at which the shares will be automatically sold, and the money transferred to my bank.

Imagine my surprise when I went back to the office the next day and found the shares already sold (while I was sleeping). It seems that the share price, for some unknown reason, spiked up within that trading day hitting the price I set, before closing much lower at the end of the trading day.

That was not all. A couple of days later, my company announced a multi-billion dollar acquisition of another company. As a result, the share price tumbled 15% overnight and has not recovered since.

Looks like I sold the shares at the best possible time, despite being clueless about all these. It is better than having the best stockbroker in the world looking after your investments...
Nothing beats the One who watches over us, because He is in full control of ALL the wealth on the earth.

Wow...

"The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore..."

Thank you Lord.
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Pray for Myanmar and China

2008-05-15T10:51:00.006+08:00

The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.
The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.
All you have made will praise you, O LORD; your saints will extol you.
They will tell of the glory of your kingdom and speak of your might,
so that all men may know of your mighty acts and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made.

The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.

(Psalm 145:8-19)

Let us intercede and appeal to the mercy and grace of God...that indeed His love for people will drive Him to hear the cries of the people and to save them, from death, from hunger, from sickness and despair.

The Long One ... Psalm 119

2008-04-30T05:49:00.002+08:00

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Hardly got into Psalm 119 and already I had to stop to ponder this:

You have laid down precepts that are to be fully obeyed.
Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees!
Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands.

(Psalm 119:4-6)

Firstly, I am not taking seriously the fact that God's precepts are to be fully obeyed. Most of the time, my obedience tend to be partial, half hearted. Why? I believe because I do not fear God enough, and with that, the lack of motivation to be steadfast in all my ways in obeying God's decrees.

The solution? The psalmist continues in verses 7-8.

I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws.
I will obey your decrees; do not utterly forsake me.

I know how weak I am...the important thing, I believe, if I caught the heart of the psalmist..is not to give up trying. Take it one day at a time, strive to walk as righteous as we can before God. Praise Him, obey Him always. And when we do fail, keep crying out to Him for grace and mercy.

I know I have this to my advantage, based on His Word:

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
(Psalm 51:17)

"This is the one I esteem:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit,
and trembles at my word."
(Isa 66:2b)
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Fear the Lord

2008-04-28T08:38:00.000+08:00

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After yesterday's sermon, it struck me that fearing God IS the key: the foundation behind the principle of the Sabbath.

"If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD's holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
then you will find your joy in the LORD,
and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."
The mouth of the LORD has spoken.
(Isa 58:13-14)

I cannot honor the Sabbath if I don't fear the Lord.
I cannot find delight in the Sabbath if I don't fear the Lord.
I will go my own way if I don't fear the Lord.

And...I will miss the blessings if I don't fear the Lord.

Sad reality is that I don't fear the Lord ENOUGH in many areas of my life. The unedifying thoughts that I have encouraged & entertained (and not tried hard enough to eradicate); the murmurings and grumblings; the discontent about life, the lack of fervour, the ill-discipline, the desire to do my own thing instead of obeying God....the list continues.

Why else am I still in this state, if I have the proper fear of the Holy God in my heart?

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:

"Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. (Eph 5:8-17)

A wake-up call. Time to take heed.
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An Important Prayer

2008-04-21T10:03:00.004+08:00

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As I meditate on Psalm 84, I realised that the key is our desire for God.

How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD;
My heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. (Psalm 84)

Beautiful to recite, but if I were to be very honest with myself, then I need to admit that the intense desire for God as described by the psalmist, does not come naturally to me. Unfortunately, I know how prone my heart is to wonder, to leave the God I love.

And as I ponder on how I should pray in order to retain the strong desire for the presence of God all the days of my life, God again pointed me to the prayers of Paul in Ephesians:

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. (Eph 1:17-19a)

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
(Eph 3:16-19)

I need God's help in these key areas:

(1) Spirit of wisdom and revelation - to know God better.
(2) Eyes of my heart need to be opened so that I may know
(i) the hope that we have in God
(ii) the riches and inheritance I have as His child
(iii) the incomparable great power for me, as a believer

(3) Strengthened in my inner man with the power of the Holy Spirit so that God lives in my hearts through faith.
(4) Be rooted and established in the love of God
(5) Power to grasp the great depth that Christ has for me, so that I can be filled to the measure of all fullness of God.

I need definitely need help...so I am going to start to trust God by praying with faith. I believe He will answer. Stay tuned for my progress.
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Memorising Psalm 84

2008-04-14T11:01:00.003+08:00

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How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord Almighty.
My soul yearns, even faints,
For the courts of the Lord.
My heart and my flesh
cry out for the living God

Even the sparrow has found a home,
And the swallow a nest for herself,
Where she may have her young,
A place near your altar.
O Lord, my King and my God!
Blessed are those who dwell in your house,
They are ever praising you.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
Who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
When they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs.
The autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
Till each appears before God in Zion.

Hear my prayer, Lord God Almighty!
Listen to me, O God of Jacob!
Look upon our shield, O Lord!
Look with favour upon your anointed one.

Better is one day in your courts,
than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of the Lord,
than dwell in the house of the wicked.
The Lord is a sun and shield.
The Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does He withhold,
From those whose walk is blameless.

O Lord Almighty!
Blessed is the man who has put his trust in you.

I wrote this out from memory, as I attempt to memorise Psalm 84.
Not word perfect, but I am getting closer...:)

Through this process, I begin to appreciate the wisdom and heart of SP.

It is indeed a different experience to work hard in committing key scripture passages to memory. As I repeat the phrases to myself again and again, it made me meditate on them more than before. And as I reflect on them, I realised that if I can trully identify with the psalmist's intense desire for the presence of God....then surely I will be so much closer to entering into the rest of God.

And guess what? Memorising scripture was not quite the chore I thought it would be. It was actually quite fun. :)
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Don't Shoot Ourselves in the Foot

2008-03-25T21:29:00.001+08:00

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Psalm 81 ended with a lament of God, regarding the rich blessings that He has prepared for Israel,

"...you would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you." (Psalm 81:16)

but sadly was not given because Israel "shot themselves in the foot".

Listen to the sadness in God when He proclaimed:

"..if you would but listen to me, O Israel!" (Psalm 81:8, 13)

Obviously Israel did not heed, and the rest...is history.

Psalm 78 clearly described what Israel did to "shoot themselves in the foot", and in doing so, disqualify themselves from the richness of God's blessings.

"a stubborn and rebellious generation,
whose hearts were not loyal to God,
whose spirits were not faithful to him." (v8)

"they did not keep God's covenant
and refused to live by his law.
They forgot what he had done,
the wonders he had shown them." (v10-11)

But they continued to sin against him,
rebelling in the desert against the Most High.
They willfully put God to the test
by demanding the food they craved. (v17-18)

for they did not believe in God
or trust in his deliverance. (v22)

In spite of all this, they kept on sinning;
in spite of his wonders, they did not believe. (v32)

But then they would flatter him with their mouths,
lying to him with their tongues;
their hearts were not loyal to him,
they were not faithful to his covenant. (v36-37)

But they put God to the test
and rebelled against the Most High;
they did not keep his statutes.
Like their fathers they were disloyal and faithless,
as unreliable as a faulty bow. (v56-57)

Stiff-necked, stubborn, disloyal, unfaithful, disobedient;
quick to forget God's blessings, His miracles and goodness.
Rebellious, wilful, quick to put God to the test.
No fear of the Lord in their hearts.
Disbelief, unbelief in God's provision and deliverance.
Desires material pleasures above the Presence of God.
Untruthful in heart and deed. Flatterers.
Unreliable.

It is the same today. God wants to bless us.

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor;
No good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." (Psalm 84:11)

Problem is always that our walk is far from blameless, because we keep repeating the mistakes and the sins committed by the Israelites.

But it need not be.

The choice is ours.
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Lest We Forget...

2008-03-21T14:42:00.003+08:00

King of my life, I crown Thee now,
Thine shall the glory be;
Lest I forget Thy thorn crowned brow,
Lead me to Calvary.

Lest I forget Gethsemane,
Lest I forget Thine agony;
Lest I forget Thy love for me,
Lead me to Calvary.

Show me the tomb where Thou wast laid,
Tenderly mourned and wept;
Angels in robes of light arrayed
Guarded Thee whilst Thou slept.

Lest I forget Gethsemane,
Lest I forget Thine agony;
Lest I forget Thy love for me,
Lead me to Calvary.

Let me like Mary, through the gloom,
Come with a gift to Thee;
Show to me now the empty tomb,
Lead me to Calvary.

Lest I forget Gethsemane,
Lest I forget Thine agony;
Lest I forget Thy love for me,
Lead me to Calvary.

May I be willing, Lord, to bear
Daily my cross for Thee;
Even Thy cup of grief to share,
Thou hast borne all for me.

Lest I forget Gethsemane,
Lest I forget Thine agony;
Lest I forget Thy love for me,
Lead me to Calvary.
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Exploiting God

2008-03-16T22:30:00.000+08:00

I believe it is in our fallen nature to desire to exploit; to maximize our gains, while aiming to minimize the effort and resources that we need to put in to achieve those aims.

We see it most clearly in the business world. Employers demand “best in market” performance from their staff. Anything less is unacceptable. Just meeting targets is deemed a failure. “Exceeding expectations” is the new acceptable norm.

Yet when it comes to rewarding their staff for their “best in market performance”, few employers will venture to pay “best in market” salaries to their staff. Instead, they try to “benchmark” to the industry, so that salaries always stay near the mean of (usually below) the industry standards, in the name of staying “competitive”.
But everyone knows the real reason:

Get the most from your employees….while giving back the minimum -

Exploitation.

Employees of course are not without blame in this area. All workers want high salaries and bonuses, as well as quick promotions. Yet not all are willing to put in the hard work to achieve the performance to warrant them. Many want the “short-cut” to success. Get the promotions and high pay in the shortest time. Find ways to put in the least effort, and yet give the impression to bosses that they have achieved the most. Never mind that you are not adding real value to the organisation.

Get the most from your employer….while giving back the minimum -

Exploitation.

I think many of us also carry this mentality into our relationship with God. We want the best out of our faith: assurance of salvation, forgiveness of sin, spiritual and material blessings galore, so that we can live the “good life” while on earth (which unfortunately also includes gratifying our desires, sometimes sinful ones), and at the same time assured of our eternal destiny.

But is that what the Christian life is all about? What about nurturing our relationship with our Heavenly Father, so that we grow to desire Him more than any other thing on earth? What about a lifetime of faithful service in His Kingdom, to serve and to make His Name known? What about a life of obedience and sacrifice, so that the Name of Jesus will be glorified?

My guess is that many of us are not so “hot” for the latter. Why? Because that requires hard work, discipline, sacrifice and obedience from us.

So we want the best from God…while hoping to give back to Him as little as possible -

Exploitation.

I believe God has our lousy attitude in mind when He wrote Galatians 6:7-9.

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Who are we deceiving? Do we seriously think God will let us get away with our attempts to exploit Him?

Or perhaps we think that since we already know Him, He will close an eye and go easy on us? Consider 1 Corinthians 10:1-10 and think again:

For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers, that our forefathers were all under the cloud and that they all passed through the sea. They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea. They all ate the same spiritual food and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ. Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them; their bodies were scattered over the desert.
Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did. Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: "The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in pagan revelry." We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. We should not test the Lord, as some of them did—and were killed by snakes. And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel.

Think again.

Cost of Upholding Principles

2008-03-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

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This period of fasting from TV and computer games frees up time for me to pursue a childhood hobby that I have dropped for years - reading comics!

My favourite? Marvel Comics' Ultimate X-men and DC's Batman; because the underlying themes mirror real life. I like it when I can identify with the characters, especially with their struggles to uphold the right principles and values in the midst of the ugliness of human behaviour which is so prevalent in the world.

One of the common themes is choice: that there are a choice in how we respond to the injustice, pain and persecution that the world throws at you. In X-men, this is repesented by opposing camps lead by Magneto and Prof. Xavior. The former, after being put through the Nazi Holocaust and decades of persecution and rejection by fellow men for being different, decided that enough is enough. He will respond by leading his mutant troops to conquer mankind, destroying millions if necessary. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

Prof X, on the other hand, endures the same treatment from his fellow men. Suspicion, rejection, persecution. He probably has the same "right" as Magneto to retaliate against those who persecute him and his X-men. But he chose not to. Instead, he trains his students to use their mutant powers to protect mankind regardless of the cost, believing always that it is the right thing to do, and that working towards reconciliation with mankind is the only way. Violence against those who persecute you should never be an option.

Protect those who hate you, be prepared to lay down your life for those who persecute you. Sounds familiar? (see Rom 12:17, 1 Pet 3:9)

The moral high ground, living by lofty principles. No one really denies their value, or the fact that they are the ideals that man should strive towards. The problem is always that in the face of the ugliness of reality, will people still hold on to those principles and ideals, especially when it comes at a high cost to oneself?

I thought this was so clearly illustrated in the Batman comics. Police Commisioner Jim Gordon, with the help of Batman, have the unenviable task of maintaining law and order in dark Gotham City....manifested by murderous maniacs like the Joker, Mr Freeze, Two-Face among others.

Criminals who, for all the deaths they cause and the atrocities that they commit, will always escape the death sentence, because legally they are considered "mentally unsound". Even when caught and pronounced guilty, the only thing that the law can do is to lock them up in Arkham Asylum.

Unfortunately, they have broken out and escaped so many times... to go back to their atrocities. It would be so tempting for Jim and Batman to rationalise that in these cases, "for the greater good of mankind", it is alright to take the law into their own hands and kill these evil men the next time they have the chance. After all, think of the lives that they will save. Aren't they doing everyone a favour?

But our heroes know that the law and their principles need to be upheld. If they rationalise that they can take the law into their own hands by playing judge and jury, they will not be any different from the criminals that they try to apprehend.

And the price they paid to uphold those principles

(1) The Joker escaped and killed Jim Gordon's wife.
(2) The Joker brutally killed Batman's partner - the 2nd Robin (Jason Todd)
(3) The Joker again shot and paralysed Batgirl - Barbara Gordon, who is also Jim Gordon's daughter.

Yet our heroes presevered and pressed on, in many instances tempted, but always reminding themselvees not to do things that they will regret.

"Raise them to our level, don't sink to theirs."

Sure. these are but fiction. But I believe I do learn some biblical principles from them. I keep asking myself, if my world were to come crashing down around me today, will I continue to hold on to my Christian values? Or will I succumb to the pressures and revert back to the ways of the world. Will I repay evil for evil, especially in dealing with people who hurt me and who hate me?

The more I reflect on this, the more convinced I am of how far I am from truly having God's heart and God's character. I need to be reminded from His Word:

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matt 5:13-16)

In other words, raise them to our level...don't sink to theirs._
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Just like the Israelites...

2008-02-29T23:45:00.001+08:00

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Reading "Drawing Near" by John Bevere.

What he made me realise is that although we so often shake our heads at the Israelites during their exodus, for being so stiff-necked, for always grumbling and complaining against Moses, I am actually so like them...if I am honest with myself.

So often, I walk with God as if it is a chore...and complain and grumble (often not outwardly, but definitely in my heart) whenever things don't work out the way I want.

What is the problem here with my heart?

John Bevere rightly pointed out the root of the issue is in the key difference between the heart of Moses and the hearts of the rest of the Israelites:

(1) Moses' key desire was always for the presence of God. That is evident in the following verses:
Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.
(Exodus 33:15).

Moses would rather not go into the Promised Land (symbolising the good life and its material blessings) if the Presence of God did not go with him. He just wanted to be right there in the presence of God. The rest, including his material comforts and circumstances, was unimportant! No wonder God was delighted with the heart of this man.

(2) Compare that to the rest of the Israelites,

They said to Moses, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt?
Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!" (Exodus 14:12-13)

The Israelites said to them, "If only we had died by the LORD's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death." (Exodus 16:3)

But the people were thirsty for water there, and they grumbled against Moses. They said, "Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to make us and our children and livestock die of thirst?" (Exodus 17:3)

If I were to be honest with myself, I must say that I am much more like the Israelites. Deep inside, I think that I place too much emphasis on the "good life" - the material enjoyment, the "freedom" to use my time on things I like to do. Hence the natural propensity to grumble and complain in my heart against God and His leaders whenever serving Him requires me to undergo inconveniences and certain sacrifices that impedes my pursuit of the "good life" that I wanted.

I believe I totally lack Moses' deep desire for the presence of God. I have lost the joy of my salvation. Serving Him has become an obligation, a responsibility to discharge. I hardly sense any joy and delight. Sad state of affairs, but true.

What is the remedy? I believe Ps Khong's message clearly reveals what needs to be done:

(1) I need to be broken by the condition of my heart. I am beginning to...and recognise that I cannot go on like that.

(2) I need to cry out everyday for God's cleansing.

(3) Most importantly, I need God to create a new heart within me, grant me a willing and steadfast spirit to sustain me, and restore the joy of my salvation.
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Walking Home

2008-02-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

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God's timing cannot get any better.

I need this 40-day fast. I need to re-discover the intimacy with God. I must have lost it along the way as I go through life, growing up, growing older. I must have kept denying to myself that something is not right over the last few years. I must suppressed it, glossed over it and carried on with life as if everything is just fine.

But since the turn of 2008, I think God cares too much to allow me to carry on like this. Certain feelings kept gnawing at my core, and gets harder and harder to suppress. Feelings of repressed anger, bitterness, discontent.

Living life becomes increasingly tasteless, monotonous....as if there is little to look forward to. I feel dissatisfied with my life. Everything (including my walk with God) feels like a chore, a daily grind. I feel like quiting, yet somehow in my heart I know I do not have a better alternative. I feel trapped, frustrated, angry.

Relating to God feels like reporting to my boss, Instead of a loving relationship, all I see are responsibilities and obligations to fulfill.

I think I forgot that He loves me as a son, not just as a servant.

I think I know that in my head....but somehow I do not really grasp it in my heart.

I feel just like the elder brother of the prodigal son...faithfully serving the father all these years, but without much joy, not really "knowing" his father's love.

My heart must have hardened along the way....without me realising it. Now that I reflect upon it, I begin to see the points in my life where that gradually set in. Looks like I did not "guard my heart" well enough.

I need to sort myself out and "clean house". Need to draw near to my Father ....again.

I think I have been away....for a long time. Time to start to walk home.
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On Psalms 42 and 43

2008-02-12T17:34:00.000+08:00

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Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

After SP's message on Sunday about the importance of "not fretting" even when things are not going well, I thought Psalms 42 and 43 further reinforced this truth with David's common refrain in these 2 Psalms.

Indeed, one of the most valuable lessons that I am learning from David is his unfailing ability to give thanks and praise God, regardless of the difficult circumstances that he is in. His unwavering hope is always that ultimately, God will come through for Him.

Need to learn from David. I guess the first thing to do will be to memorise this verse to remind myself whenever things don't go well, that my hope must always remain steadfast, because the Source of my hope will never fail me.
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Vindication

2008-02-05T05:58:00.000+08:00

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Just got off a conversation with a colleague, who just had a salary increment meeting with her boss. She was very, very upset. It seems that her boss had used all his increment budget on a few selected "high performers" and gave the rest of the team zero increment.

So regardless of how hard you work, and how much you think you have accomplished, if the boss does not rate you as one of the "top performers", zero will be your reward for the entire year's work.

Unfair? I think so.

But why would we expect fairness in a world run by fallen man? Wealth distribution managed by a world guided by the principle of greed is not expected to result in justice or fairness.

My own "fate" in terms of salary increment is still unknown. I may know sometime this week. A similar fate like my colleague's may await me. But after 10+ years of working in MNCs while trying me best to walk with God, I think I have learnt that in situations like that, worrying or being anxious is futile. It is not going to change anything.

Do I want a good increment? Of course! Do I pray for it? Sure I did! And since I have done all I can (ie pray), I think the smartest thing will be to leave it in His good hands.

Does it mean that I will not be affected in the event of a unfavourable meeting with my boss? I don't think so. But I think any potential disappointment or emotional outburst is likely to be muted. Either I have mellowed over the years (or grown in the Lord), I thought that Psalm 35 provides a reminder on how I should respond in the event that I am unfairly treated:

Awake, and rise to my defense!
Contend for me, my God and Lord.
(Psalm 35:23)

Need to remind myself never to get too upset in these situations, but still be able to do what David did in his circumstances -

My tongue will speak of your righteousness
and of your praises all day long.
(Psalm 35:28)
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On Psalm 23 - Travelling Light

2008-01-23T23:49:00.000+08:00

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The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

(Psalm 23)

God's timing is always perfect, and I cannot think of a more relevant time for me to meditate on the beloved 23rd psalm.

I am in dire need of rest, both physically and emotionally. I feel stretched in all directions; my inner emotions are in upheaval, and I think I really need the rest and calming presence of my Shepherd.

Stress, fatigue, discontentment, disapointment, frustration, feelings of being trapped with no way out....these are some of the emotions I am battling with recently, and they overflow into every area of my life. Ironic too that I have also just read Max Lucado's book "Travelling Light", which touched on the topics of shedding our burdens and baggages, so that we can truly find peace, joy and rest in the journey with our Shepherd.

Indeed, I think God is showing me in this Year of Sabbath that I need to shed many emational burdens:

Burdens of want and discontent - and trust in my Shepherd.

Burdens of weariness and fatigue - and rest in His green pastures.

Burdens of disappointment and hurts - and allow Him to anoint my head with oil to sooth, to heal.

Burden of hopelessness - and allow Him to restore my soul.

Burden of fear - and allow His presence to comfort me.

Burden of envy - and realise that in the Lord's presence, my cup will always overflow.

Only then can I truly enter His Sabbath rest.
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Even When It Hurts...

2008-01-15T23:32:00.000+08:00

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Psalm 15 - A Psalm of David

LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?
He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath even when it hurts,
who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things will never be shaken.

Somehow, verse 4 speaks to me. I guess I am going through a challenging time right now in terms of my inner emotions. To call it "mid-life crisis" will be an exaggeration, but the truth of the matter is that I am at that juncture of my life when some truths begin to really dawn upon me, that because of my faith and my commitment to serve God where He has placed me, I probably will not be able to pursue or realise some of my life goals and ambitions... and somehow, that hurts me inside when I try to come to terms with these issues..

"I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that costs me nothing".
(2 Sam 24:24)

Such a familiar verse of Scripture. So often quoted. But it is a different matter when the reality of the "cost" stares at you straight in the face.

So it is comforting to know that King David himself acknowledged and identified with similar emotions. He should. For all the victories that we see in his life, we sometimes forget the difficult time he had while fleeing from Saul. To be so unfairly treated, and yet, out of his obedience to God, he chose not to retailiate, and spent long periods on the run. That must have hurt. That is a great sacrifice. From King David's psalms, it is also clear that he always had unwavering trust in the Lord's goodness and faithfulness, knowing that God will never short-change him. Walking right with God will ultimately have its rewards. How true that is in David's life!

And may that be an encouragement to remain steadfast in my commitment to serve Him, so that I will never be shaken.

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. (1 Cor 15:58)

The "Bowl of Stew"

2008-01-08T11:05:00.000+08:00

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Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. He said to Jacob, "Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I'm famished!" (That is why he was also called Edom. )
Jacob replied, "First sell me your birthright."
"Look, I am about to die," Esau said. "What good is the birthright to me?"
But Jacob said, "Swear to me first." So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob.
Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright. (Gen 25:29-34)

Esau will probably be most remembered as the guy who sold his birthright for a bowl of stew. Unfortunate for him since he actually had so much going for him: - Firstborn son of Issac, it was his right to inherit the Abrahamic covenant that through him, the nations of the earth will be blessed.

He blew his chance, gave up on the destiny that God had promised him in a moment of folly. Unfortunately for him, there was no turning back, in spite of his tears and regrets. Nothing could reverse his decision to trade his eternal destiny and blessings to fulfill an immediate desire, to meet an immediate need.

Sad. But before we go too hard on Esau for being such a "fool", chances are that some of us are also prone to make the same mistake.

Take my own life as an example. I have a God-provided career, privilege to support my wonderful wife through her full time service to God's work, 2 beautiful kids, good health for everyone in my family (including mum, bro, aunts, in-laws) and good relationships with them.

I have the privilege of serving him in a good church, with good leaders watching over me. I believe my destiny and inheritance in the Lord is a glorious one, for me, my family, my kids, provided I remain faithful in serving God and obeying Him.

But yet I cannot deny that often the discontent is very real in my life, especially when I grow tired, weary and start to lose focus on what is eternal. These are times when I start to manifest the "darker" and "worldlier" side of me. I begin to focus on my problems, my difficulties, my dissatisfactions in life. I grumble about the "sacrifices" I need to make to follow Christ and to serve Him. Instead of being thankful for the blessings of God, I start counting my costs in some of the "mundane" and "trivial" areas:

(1) Not being able to devote all my attention and time to my career to climb higher than where I am now - ie losing out in climbing the corporate ladder, in $$.

(2) Having to shoulder the financial burden for the family so that my wife can serve God full-time, thereby having to make some sacrifices in terms of my schedule, convenience and of course $$. With that, probably giving up on the lifestyle I secretly wanted, forgoing the dream car and dream house I wanted, cutting back on the high tech toys I wish I possess.

(3) "Thankless" tasks of having to serve in the ministry, people who don't respond despite the efforts poured in, unanswered prayers, things that don't go according to plan, frustrations that go along with serving in a "fast-changing-baptist-church". Re-living past hurts and disappointments.

(4) Other grouses....related to kids, family, people ...the list goes on.

Cant't deny there are moments when I almost wished I could have chosen my way and live the life I wanted. "Look, I am about to die, What good is the birthright to me?"

If this does not come close to to selling my birthright for a bowl of stew, not sure what does.

The problem for me is that in times like this, I let my dissatisfactions and desire for temporal needs overwhelm and cloud my vision of the important and the eternal. I somehow think that fulfilling my temporal desires will truly make me happy, even at the expense of the eternal. A lie. And yet I get tempted by it again and again.

By the grace of God, since the year of victory, the frequency of that happening and the intensity of negative feelings when they do hit has decreased. And in the year of Sabbath, I intend to minimise it even further, by walking close to Him. Needs work. But I want to "make every effort to enter that rest". And may I never be branded as one who despises my birthright as a child of God. I pray that I will see as Paul did in Ephesians 1:18:

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.
(Ephesians 1:18)

I look forward to the day when I am no longer tempted by that deceptively attractive bowl of stew.
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Streams of Living Water

2008-01-02T09:48:00.000+08:00

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Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
(Psalm 1:1-3)

What a beautiful psalm to start the New Year - the Year of Sabbath!

Indeed it captures the essence of what I want to see in this year:
That I will delight in being anchored in the Word of God this year....just like a tree planted by the Stream of Living Water, where I will experience joy and peace that God has intended, and see fruitfulness and prosperity that comes from Him in all areas of my life.

By faith I claim this promise. By faith I shall see it fulfilled in my life in 2008!
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Towards Greater Victories...in the Year of Sabbath!

2007-12-31T09:42:00.000+08:00

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As the Year of Victory draws to a close, there is much to give thanks for....for God's grace, goodness and faithfulness in granting us victories in so many areas of our lives. May it be on the personal front, family, career, ministry, I thank God that I have so many blessings to count.

And I fully resonate with SP's belief that as we enter the Year of Sabbath, instead of seeing the end of victories, what we will see is a continuation of victories greater than anything we have seen...on the condition that we obey the Lord and honour His Sabbath.

"If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD's holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
then you will find your joy in the LORD,
and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."
The mouth of the LORD has spoken. (Isaiah 58:13-14)

Indeed, as it has been spoken of so many times before...victory in Christ IS our birthright. We however need to be watchful that we do not sell our birthright as eternal victors for "a bowl of stew".... something that brings only temporal relief and pleasure.

Even as the we reach the last day of 2007, the Lord is speaking loud and clear to me on this issue. And I believe that His promise is that if I am willing to trust, honor and obey Him above wholeheartedly, joy and victory beyond my imagination will definitely be experienced.

So that even in the Year of Sabbath, 2 Corinthians 2:14 will continue to be a familiar refrain in my life:

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him!
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Good Guys DO Finish First!

2007-12-22T21:37:00.000+08:00

"Tonight is really special for me," said Kaka, who helped Milan to their seventh European Cup title in May and was also inspirational in Sunday's 4-2 Club World Cup final victory over Argentina's Boca Juniors. "When I was young I dreamed of playing for Sao Paulo and playing just one game for the national team. That was it...but the Bible says God gives us more than we ask for and that is what has happened in my life." - Reuters

MILAN — AC Milan and Brazil playmaker Kaka defies the model of a modern footballer. The 26-year-old chooses to let his football make the headlines, not for him boozefuelled romps with starry-eyed groupies or days out on the track eyeing fillies of the four-legged variety.

Kaka, a devout Christian, largely avoids celebrity parties and does not worry too much about his image, expressing himself on the pitch with mesmeric skill and driving runs.

On Monday (Tuesday morning, Singapore time), his dedication saw yet another individual award go his way, as he was crowned World Player of the Year by Fifa. Last month, he had already bagged the FIFPro World Player of the Year and Uefa European Club Player of the Year accolades.

A goal in Milan’s 4-2 win over Boca Juniors in Sunday’s Club World Cup Final was the perfect curtain raiser to the Brazilian’s latest individual gong. Filippo Inzaghi thanked Kaka for setting up his two goals. "Kaka was just excellent. He scored one himself and helped me with my goals," said the 34-year-old Italian striker.

The win also avenged Milan's defeat on penalties to the Argentinians in the final of the 2003 Intercontinental Cup, the Club World Cup's previous incarnation. ."I don't like the word 'revenge,'" said Kaka. "In 2003, we lost and it was history. Now we won and made history."

AC Milan's Filipo Inzaghi (L) celebrates with teammate Kaka after scoring a goal against Boca Juniors during their FIFA Club World Cup final in Yokohama, Kanagawa prefecture. Italian giants AC Milan overwhelmed Argentina's Boca Juniors 4-2 to win a record fourth intercontinental crown. Kaka's unselfish play created 2 goals for his team-mate and Inzaghi was quick to acknowledge the Brazilian's contribution to his success after the match.

He finished ahead of Barcelona’s Lionel Messi and Manchester United’s Cristiano Ronaldo in the voting. Kaka struck 10 goals to guide Milan to their seventh European Cup triumph in May.

With no World Cup or European Championship to help voters, Kaka’s form for Milan has been the reason why he is now rated as the top footballer in the world.

Few will disagree he is the best right now. He scores goals, he has bundles of energy, shows plenty of courage and is also unselfish, creator as well as finisher.

His wife announced recently they were expecting their first son while Kaka says life as an evangelical pastor appeals to him after football. But football is his calling now.

— AGENCIES

Way to go Kaka! Congratulations!

What strikes me always is Kaka's testimony for God in the glitzy world of football. (Compare this to the recent fiasco involving Man Utd players at a Christmas party leading to rape allegations. see http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/topstories/2007/12/18/manchester-united-party-rape-probe-89520-20259565/ )

He plays by God's rules. He attributes His success to his Creator. Despite his powess as a world-class footballer, he is not a selfish player, and frequently creates goals for the team instead of scoring on his own. He does not let success go to his head or subscribed to the hedonism that many famous players are notorious for. His faith is so much a part of him, and he carries it so naturally that the secular press, whenever writing about him, almost without fail mentions that he is a "devout Christian".

He brings to mind God's promises in Proverbs 3:1-6

My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart,
For they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.
Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

May he continue to shine brightly for the Lord, may he always be an excellent role model to millions around the world so that they will always "see his good works and glorify our Father in heaven".
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Lessons from Malachi (II)

2007-12-19T07:59:00.000+08:00

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One of my guys made an astute observation after reading the book of Malachi that the root of the issue - causing us either withold our best from God, and/or complaining about the burdens of serving Him is found in Malachi 2:17, 3:13-15, when God summed this up by rebuking the Israelites:

You have wearied the LORD with your words.
"How have we wearied him?" you ask.
By saying, "All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased with them" or "Where is the God of justice?"

"You have said harsh things against me," says the LORD.
"Yet you ask, 'What have we said against you?'
"You have said, 'It is futile to serve God. What did we gain by carrying out his requirements and going about like mourners before the LORD Almighty? But now we call the arrogant blessed. Certainly the evildoers prosper, and even those who challenge God escape.' "

In short, God is saying that His people find it pointless to serve God, since from their observations, God is unfair in "blessing" pagans more than He blesses His own people, and unjust in letting evil-doers go unpunished.

I believe I do the same. It is called "envying the wicked".

Indeed sometimes when I see the happenings around me, when non-Christians seem to prosper and get away with so much, living a seemingly easier and more luxurious life; while we struggle to walk in faithfulness, it does cause me to wonder what God is doing about all these. There are moments too when I doubt the value of trying hard to keep God's laws, since the benefits and rewards of obeying God are often not immediately apparent.

But the bottomline is that God calls this kind of thinking and attitude - sin.

More than ever, I need the Lord's reminder, that it DOES make a difference that we choose to obey and serve Him wholeheartedly, without double-mindedness.

Then those who feared the LORD talked with each other, and the LORD listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the LORD and honored his name.

"They will be mine," says the LORD Almighty, "in the day when I make up my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as in compassion a man spares his son who serves him. And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not. (Malachi 3:16-18)
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