RHITCOCX

2007-01-12T15:55:00.002-06:00

Well friends and loyal reader, the sad time has come for me to depart. You've probably predicted this happening for a time now but the announcement is now official.

I have a bad habit. I can't stay with one thing for too long a time and I can't stay with a group of people for too long either. I went to two grade schools and lost all contact those friends when I went to high school. After high school, I ended up losing contact with most of those people also. After one year at my first college, I switched schools and promptly lost complete contact with those people. And now my fellow droogs, with my destination unknown and my outlooks dim, I must continue to ramble forth. Perhaps I will meet some of you again in the future, but that would be a rare or deliberate instance. Maybe, I might even return here. And maybe one day, I will once again laugh and smile sincerely but that day appears to be far off.

I leave you with the final paragraph from A Clockwork Orange and a photo.

But where I itty now, O my brothers, is all on my oddy knocky, where you cannot go. Tomorrow is all like sweet flowers and the turning vonny earth and the stars and the old Luna up there and your old droog Alex all on his oddy knocky seeking like a mate. And all that cal. A terrible grahzny vonny world, really, O my brothers. And so farewell from your little droog. And all others in this story profound shooms of lipmusic brrrrrr. And they can kiss my sharries. But you, O my brothers, remember sometimes thy little Alex that was. Amen. And all that cal.

2006-12-20T16:33:00.000-06:00

So's I am in Mexico at the moment. I have the internet but it's as good as Mexican internet can get. Surfing Wikipedia for fun. Found this guy. A career choice perhaps?

~~Wish you were here~~ Wish I was there,
Me

2006-12-15T02:14:00.000-06:00

2006-12-12T14:42:00.000-06:00

In case you missed Obama's historic anouncement last night.

2006-12-06T23:57:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking of expanding the line of enemies for the MechaMuffinKing. Besides Comrade Gingerbread, I'm thinking of writing a story involving Doctor Von Creme, a german-styled evil ice cream cone scientist and another story involving Keebler Khan, the leader of a barbaric and nomadic horde of elvish cooks.

2006-12-05T12:30:00.000-06:00

Kismet

2006-11-11T23:03:00.000-06:00

Zam has a cameo in the new movie Stranger Than Fiction. He's in the background and he's very blurry but I can tell it's him cause of his lankyness and bag.

Good movie by the way. Zam's character, however, lacked substance.

2006-11-11T12:57:00.000-06:00

Yahoo! Top Stories - Oscar-winner Jack Palance dies at 87

Curly has died so his gold is officially up for grabs.

2006-11-01T17:08:00.001-06:00

John Kerry's Komedy Kareer Sees Last Days

Many comedy club owners and patrons have expressed exasperation with Democrat U.S. Senator John Kerry's recent bid into stand-up comedy. Kerry, who lost his bid for President against Bush in 2004, had within recent weeks began to appear in comedy clubs across the state of Massachusetts during Amateur Hours and Open-Mic nights. His comedy set, however, has gained much criticism.

"Ok, so a man goes home early one night because he thinks his wife is cheating on him," said U.S. Senator Kerry to the half-interested audience. "Oh wait, let me start again. Three people die and go to the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter says they can only let in the one who died the worst death. So Peter talks with the first guy alone and HE says. 'So I go home early one day because I think my wife is cheating on me.' Oh, did I mention that the guy lives in a tall apartment building? Yeah, that's important. He lives in a tall apartment building."

Matt Lemley, the owner of the Boston comedy club Yuk-Yuk Farm, had found Kerry's set to be uninspired and boring.

"He's lacking emotion," said Lemley. "I can tell he's trying but his jokes are always worded incorrectly. He says one thing but means another and he leaves out important details. He's either the worst comic I've ever seen or a comedic genius who's schtick is to be incompetent at what he does."

John Kerry 'kicks it up a notch' with a mid-set costume addition.

This isn't the first time Kerry's comedy technique has been criticized. In 2001 while at a friend's barbecue, Kerry made a racial joke that was misinterpreted as an attack on NASA when he failed to mention that it was in fact the Polish government that had planned a manned expedition to the sun at night. Also, in 2006, Kerry's attack on Bush's intelligence was misinterpreted as an attack on the U.S. fighting force.

Kerry continued with his comedy set for the full ten minutes despite receiving a lukewarm response.

"'So my wife is in the shower and I search the house for the man. I look out my window and see my neighbor hanging off the balcony.' Oh hang on," Interrupted Kerry as he squinted his eyes and scratched his forehead. "The man didn't know the guy hanging from the balcony was his neighbor. I mean, you know that, but he didn't know that. So anyway, the guy says, "I started yelling at the man on my balcony and started to attack his fingers. I crushed them with a hammer and he fell down into the bushes. I saw he was still alive so I got the stove and threw it on top of him, killing him. I was so sad tha'...wait. Did I say drop a stove? I meant to say that he dropped his refrigerator. Yeah, he had to drop the refrigerator. The third guy's hiding in the refrigerator. He's not in the stove. Where was I?"

2006-10-30T21:27:00.000-06:00

Oh dear God, I knew this day would come. Well, guess it's back to TV.

2006-10-27T23:28:00.000-05:00

The Onion Magazine

It's da truff.

2006-10-27T11:09:00.000-05:00

A place for men with facial hair: MyBeard.org

2006-10-19T13:43:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited! Finally, after years of work and countless letters later, I found someone who is willing to put Homemade Napalm on the big screen. I sent him the script and our version of it and he loved it so much, he's gonna remake it for the international audience. Of course, by international, I mean Bollywood. The movie is being made by a small studio in India. But that doesn't matter.

So far, he's sent me a small trailer of the movie. You can watch it here complete with translation.

Good times are ahead. :-b

2006-10-16T23:59:00.000-05:00

Has nothing to do with Monday Night Football. Seriously.

2006-10-05T15:18:00.000-05:00

A great political reference site with a horrible url

URLs are important. When will people learn.

2006-09-27T00:22:00.000-05:00

Even after five years of tenderness, one year of neglect has killed the fire. The once bright flame has slowly dimmed and turned to ash.

It's been fun. I'll have the memories. Good bye and thanks for all the fish.

2006-09-21T20:25:00.000-05:00

The temperature in my room is 64 degrees and dropping. Winter is coming. I'll be dead soon.

2006-09-19T17:38:00.000-05:00

2006-09-14T18:59:00.000-05:00

So I got my hair cut today. Which hair was cut will have to be a surprise until you see me.

2006-08-28T19:53:00.000-05:00

Time once again for The Might Thor to answer Facebook mail. On to you Thor...

Hey,

Wanna be friends? I can teach you all sorts of things and help you solve life's problems!

Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny,

Until the day you can crush the armies of your enemies with such great swiftness that many epics poems are written and orally handed down through generations, until the day your name strikes fear and panic into villages that are too far for you to reach, until the day your axe handle is dyed red with the blood of slain soldiers, women, children, and their livestock, until the day you are finally defeated in battle, gripping your sword so tightly that your enemy can never take it as a prize, on that day you will join me in Valhalla and I will give you a goblet of mead. On that day, you will be my friend. So yeah, then it'll be cool to friend me.

May the skulls of your enemies overflow with mead,

The Might Thor

2006-08-10T13:56:00.000-05:00

On thursday August 10, 2006, our terror levels are at Bert for most of the country, Ernie for all commercial flights and Elmo for flights from the U.K.

I repeat: DEFCON level Elmo! Kiss your loved ones, spend all your money and pray to any of the gods in desperation. We's in some deep Elmo now.

2006-08-07T23:40:00.000-05:00

or watch it here is the link above doesn't work.

2006-07-31T17:14:00.000-05:00

Nothing can stop Wolverine!

2006-07-31T16:42:00.000-05:00

Last night I had a dream where I had a Jewish next-door neighbor who was cooking on his grill. The smoke from it was very thick and it was being blown into my house because of the wind. I went outside and asked him politely to stop grilling or to move his grill. Well, he didn't take it too kindly and he started yelling at me in hebrew (or something). He takes out a cell phone and calls someone and I hear a roar from behind me. I look over my shoulder in time to see a computer guided missle strike my dog and obliterate him in a puff of fire and smoke. I turned back to my neighbor and he just says: "Missed."

More writings to come. I'm back, baby.

:-b

2006-06-22T16:59:00.000-05:00

Well, I have good news and bad news.

The Good:
Last night I had a comedic epiphany. While watching an episode of Family Guy, I suddenly realized the scope of postmodernist humor and my desire to create the evolved form which I am currently calling Neo-Enlightenment. This form will have lasting effects on comedy and will rewrite 21st century views and study of philosophy.

The Bad:
Because this new system of thought is so different to what I or others are accustomed, all of my current comedy writings shall be postponed indefinitely. I need to clear my comedy conscience and begin the slow process of comedic learning from a fresh point. I will be writing new things in the future but because of the way my theory works, none of it will actually be funny for a while.

Wish me luck! :-b