Romance Meets Life

Get the Romance Back in your Marriage

2013-05-18T03:06:00.000-07:00

By Mimi Adebayo

Okay men, have you ever thought of doing something that’ll make your spouse blush for the next seven days? You know, give her that special feeling and make her remember the days when you first met. I call it the ‘Once in a lifetime’ treatment. Trust me; it’ll improve your love life and definitely the bedroom life too.

Just because you wake up in the same bed every day since you got married doesn’t make her any less beautiful or special. She’s still that special woman you fell in love with and decided to spend the rest of your life with.

So you see her when she’s all messed up at that time of the month, you see her crabby face when it’s without make-up early in the morning, so you know how her fart smells…so what? She had all those things when you were courting her and you were still all over her. You chose to ignore them. Don’t use them as an excuse now.

Men, ask your wife out on a proper date. You know, just ask if she’ll be free on the said date. Who said you can’t go out on planned dates just ‘cos you’re married? It’s not only on Valentines’ day that you do something out of the ordinary for her.

Make it more special by going shopping for the perfect dress you’d like to see her in. Nothing slutty; just sexy and decent. A romantic colour; maybe red, black, silver or even gold (hey, you can’t do this if you don’t know her size and taste). Send it as a package to the house on the day of the date; attach a note saying you’d like to see her in it later that evening. She’s gonna think you’re crazy and wonder what has come over you. But she’ll wear it anyway, and she’d love it (as long as it’s her size.) Guess what? Even if she isn’t really crazy about the dress, she’ll wear it just because you took out time to go shopping for her.

Get home in time for your date and dress like a real gentleman. A suit would do the trick. When she comes out of the bathroom to show herself off to you…compliment her. Not the usual “You look great” or “you look good”. Make it more romantic, something different, out of the ordinary. For example “You look simply amazing. Look at that body. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever set my eyes on.” She’d blush crazily and probably say something like “Oh stop it” or “Thank you”. Depends on the kind of woman she is.

Then lead her to the car and don’t jump into the drivers’ seat as usual. Open the door for her. I bet you that will wow her. Do the same when you get to the restaurant and don’t forget to also pull out her chair when it’s time to sit down. While you both eat and talk; make it a point of duty to stare at her like a love-struck teenager.

That shouldn’t be too hard because she’s all dressed up in a sexy dinner gown and you’ve not seen her that way in a long while. You’re so used to seeing her in house clothes or work clothes that you forget that there’s a woman beneath- the woman she was when you first married her.

She might have put on a little weight now ‘cos she’s borne your kids, but she’s still that beauty you fell in love with years ago.

When you stare at her, she’d feel shy for the first time in years with you. She’d be that self-conscious woman she was on her first date with you. She’d blush, giggle, smile and adore you all at once. Trust me, the next day she’ll boast to her friends what a romantic gentleman her husband is.

She’d walk on air for the next seven days, maybe. It could be more. Your sex life would definitely improve. You will see her in a different light, and you’d find yourself falling in love with her all over again.

The truth is every lady likes to be treated like one, no matter how old she is. I’m not saying you’ve got to do the whole car door thing all the time, but a little thoughtfulness from you will help a lot. A romantic text message in the middle of the afternoon while you’re in the office, to let her know you’re thinking about her. A romantic note placed somewhere least expected…her dressing table, her purse or even her Bible. Get back home a bit earlier than usual and decide to make dinner. Give her a surprise kiss when she gets back from the day’s work and make her feel appreciated.

Now, I’m not an expert in things like this…I can only tell you what I think I know about women in general. Who knows? It might help a bit.

Make your woman special, give her that once in a lifetime treatment and get the romance back in your marriage!

_________

First published on Naijastories. Check out Mimi Adebayo's profile here.

Real Life Matchmaking

2013-05-18T01:04:00.000-07:00

He is a new reader who likes what he reads on the blog and likes what he sees here. He found one of the posts about people searching for Igbo guys and he's representing. Send me an email if you'll like to be connected. He's on Facebook and is willing to be honest and open. He says;

I'm currently in Aba, Abia state, 31years, I'm in Transport business, I work with my uncle in his bus transport company as a manager. I like joking around and hanging out with friends. I also like events and hang out with some celebrities. I'm a christian, and worship at any good Pentecostal church in my area. But I'm quite laid back, and I smoke cigarrettes, no weed and drink socially.

I like a girl that's understanding, and in reverse. I don't like a girl that's easily irritable. I want a woman that has a personality, well let's say she must be independent minded, working class or into a business as well. She gotta be tall, slim and 25-28 or not much younger, pretty and fun to be with, outgoing. She must be either doing her NYSC or in her final year. I prefer a lady who reads a lot of novels, and also likes music and can cook.

Magazine Covers I'm Liking - Kerry Washington On Elle

2013-05-18T00:27:00.000-07:00

Great cover for Elle, beautiful lady. Kerry Washington is certainly on the up and UP. She's doing an amazing job on Scandal, and she can only get better. Looking forward to seeing her in Peeples soon.

Dear Myne - Is It Time to Move On From My Boyfriend?

2013-05-17T14:09:00.000-07:00

I seriously don’t know what I am planning to do with the next phase in my life. I am 28. And, I seriously need some suggestions so that I can move forward in life. After reading through your blog posts I have come to a conclusion that I write to you and check the reader’s feedback. So that if the guy I am currently seeing is not for me am leaving everything we had aside and moving forward with what life has to offer me .

The guy am talking about has some issues. We met each other two years ago and have been in a relationship since, but unlike any other normal guy he doesn’t act so.

Can anyone imagine that he’s not responding to my calls. (Forget about responding he has blocked my number in his phone also, because when I try to call him its always busy, but when I try from other’s phone it gets connected). So, he even blocked me in Facebook. So, for some time now we don’t even have contact with each other.

The other issues that concern me are why is he acting so mean? I have never met any of his friends till now. When he is with me, he never talks about us together in the future. I don’t know what he expects from me.

And since we met, it is very rare that he calls me - maybe he has called me only four or five times in the last two years of our relation. We don’t meet frequently too. We meet each other only once in a month even though we live in the same locality.

I call him daily thinking that I can connect with him. But he gets frustrated though. He makes excuses that he has a lot of work.

Once he told me about his one and only ex who cheated on him. So, I think it was harder for him to love any other person beside her.

Of lately, he is pressurizing me to get married soon to some other guys. I didn’t understand him. I told him to be frank and tell me the reason he wants me to leave him but he denied that was what he meant. So, I am clueless again.

Finally, I think that he is embarrassed to introduce me to his friends or family members. Till now, we have never gone on a public date or a walk together in our area.

I am not sure what he thinks of me or what is his definition of marriage or why is he been so skeptic of. I just want to make things clear but again he doesn’t pick my call. Help me, please.

Some Reasons Why Long Marriages End

2013-05-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered why so many long-married couples decide to split? I know I have. I want to know how these people in these marriages can be so happy together for so long, and then one day they say they're done. I would have thought that after 25, 30 years most couples can be assured of till death? After all, what new thing will you find out about each other to totally upset the apple cart? An affair? A crime?

According to Dr. Pepper Swatchz, the reasons are not always very dramatic in most cases. He writes for the AARP;

Some relationships have been in decline for decades and finally lose all their juice. A marriage doesn't usually just blow up. It's more like a balloon that has been seeping air for a long time. After a while, it's totally deflated.

Another possibility is that a couple's issues intensify. Most problems are manageable, but then something sends them into hyperdrive. It could be a change in jobs, health, children's lives, personal ambitions or any number of other triggers. Whatever balance had been achieved is undermined, and with it the ability to handle the issue and still have a decent marriage.

Of course, we've all heard the familiar phrase, "We grew apart." But just because it's a cliché doesn't mean it's not a common cause of divorce or separation among long-time married couples. A typical scenario is where a husband and wife live increasingly different lives: He gets more and more into his work, she gets more and more into her children, her adult children, her grandchildren. Or she gets ambitious and he wants to relax, cut down, travel, and play golf.

Lack of communication and loss of trust are also issues that seriously undermine a marriage. I suspect that it wasn’t so much an affair that sent Maria Shriver heading for the door, but more the fact that her husband had deceived her for so long. On top of that, she is dealing with public humiliation — as well as the destabilizing presence of a child. It is a rare relationship, of any length, that could face these factors and continue on.

Fortunately, the overwhelming majority of marriages are not presented with such mega challenges. Still, plenty of breakups occur after a relationship of many years. Although some people are able to negotiate the inevitable bumps in the road, for others those bumps turn into a sinkhole — something that they cannot seem to climb out of. Sadly, and often with great affection for each other, the couple say "enough."

Kanye Praises Kim Kardashian in New Song - Awesome

2013-05-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

Last night, Kanye West performed at the Roseland Ballroom in New York, and after rants against the paparazzi for making him tabloid fodder, what with banging his head on a sign post, and his car crashing into his girlfriend Kim Kardashian's gate, he sang a new song dedicated to her. He first sang the song to Kim at the Met Gala, and though it has no title yet, fans have called the song, Awesome. Sweet :)

"Stop everything you're doing now/ Because baby, you're awesome," he sang to an excited Kardashian, who posted a photo from the event later that evening. "Don't let nobody get you down/ Because you're awesome/ You don't need to listen to your manager/ You must be tired of running through my mind/ Can I come inside? … I'm also awesome .../ I'd rather do nothing with you/ than something with somebody new/ Because baby you're awesome."

Kim Kardashian got in the action by tweeting a picture of the pair dressed up in retro-inspired outfits earlier today in honor of Throwback Thursday. "#ThrowbackThursday #GatsbySwag," she captioned the instagram picture, see below.

Scandal Finale - Life is not a Romance Novel, and Other Memes

2013-05-17T08:13:00.000-07:00

After watching Scandal last night, I was like yeah! But some of these meme pictures highlight some of my other emotions. I will still write a recap. For now, enjoy...

Pat Robertson Says Women Should Overlook Infidelity

2013-05-17T07:06:00.000-07:00

On this week's 700 Club, Pat Robertson mentions Nigeria and the sad killing of the CAN secretary, but the buzz online is about the advice he gave the woman who sent in the message above. He told her that she should stop focusing on the adultery and instead ask herself why she married him in the first place.

He said she should ask, “Does he provide a home for you to live in, does he provide food for you to eat, does he provide clothes for you to wear, is he nice to the children, do you have a happy family, does he take the children to their little league games, does he share with your stuff that is going on…is he handsome?”

In the brief video clip below, he told the woman to focus on the good stuff rather than her husband’s adultery, and “give him honor instead of trying to worry about it.” He encouraged her to build her love back, by talking to him, touching him, just being generally nice, and praying for God to heal her heart and teach her to love again.

Pat Robrtson also said the woman should, “...recognize also, like it or not, males have a tendency to wander a little bit and what you want to do is make a home so wonderful that he doesn’t want to wander." He refers to the ubiquitous salacious pictures in the media and porn online, and said, “What you have to do is say, ‘My husband was captured and I want to get him free.”

I'm no fan of cheating when in an exclusive relationship, and this video and brouhaha around it remind me of some of the dear myne's mails I've got in the past and the discussions we've had here about them. For a one of cheating episode where the man is repentant, I would give the same advice as Pat Robertson. Now when the man is a serial cheater, and totally makes it clear he's not about to change, then one needs not be too spiritual about it.

Some of the topic on infidelity here on RML include,

10 Ways to Make "The Other Woman" a Non-Issue

Why Do We Always Blame "The Other Woman"?

Moving On or Out of a Relationship After Infidelity

Why do women turn a blind eye to Infidelity?

Some things are too Serious to be Forgiven

What To Do When Your Husband is a Serial Cheater

Night out at the Samsung Galaxy S4 Launch in Lagos

2013-05-17T04:04:00.000-07:00

Ebuka Obi-Uchendu and Banky W

Two of the most eligible bachelors in Lagos social scene were photographed together at the launch of the new Samsung Galaxy S4 recently. Enjoy more pictures from the event..

Charles Novia, Soni Irabor and Segun Arinze

Emmanuel Revinatos and Basketmouth

Kate Henshaw, Seyi Law and Dakore Akande

Kate Henshaw and Olajumoke Okikiolu

Lola and Bukky Fateye

Mary, Tricia Esiegbe and Chioma

Onyeka Kelikume, Pamela Olugbemigun and Adebola Adeoye

Onyeka Kelikume and Adebola Adeoye

Segun Arinze, Weird MC and Soni Irabor

. Photos by Hycinth Iyereosa. See more on YNaija

Love Before (Oro Ife) - Laolu ft. Lindsey

2013-05-17T03:02:00.000-07:00

Lovely song. I was especially moved by the bridge which is in English, not that I did not appreciate the Nigerian touch with the Yoruba lyrics, everything combined was really great. I was introduced to Laolu Sebanjo as a visual artist with an Africa-themed inclination, which he calls Afromysterics. One can easily feel how that vibe infuses this song, he actually wrote and arranged Oro Ife.

Scandal Sex Scenes With Olivia Pope Are A Problem" For Fitz's Wife

2013-05-16T23:05:00.000-07:00

Fitz and Olivia Pope in Scandal

Tony Goldwyn and Kerry Washington's sizzling chemistry on ABC's Scandal is too hot to handle -- especially where his wife is concerned. During an appearance on Bravo's Watch What Happens Live on Wednesday, May 15, the actor revealed to host Andy Cohen that his offscreen love, Jane Musky, doesn't watch the show, largely because of the steamy sex scenes he has with his costar.

Goldwyn, 52, plays President Fitzgerald Grant, who has had a torrid, on-again/off-again affair with Washington's character, Olivia Pope, since season one. Their relationship is a driving force in the series; love scenes between the two are frequent and intense. Asked by a fan what Musky (married to the star since 1989) thinks of the fiery connection, Goldwyn laughed. "It's a problem," he quipped.

"The honest answer is, my wife doesn't watch it," he continued. "She watched the pilot and thought it was great, but yeah...I don't encourage it."

His daughters Anna and Tess, however, are big fans. "My two girls think it's hilarious. Disgusting and hilarious. So they send me all kinds of rude texts," he said, citing one occasion on which his 18-year-old messaged him a particularly racy video clip from the show with a note saying, "Excuse me?!"

Source

Ogor Winnie Okoye - Never Go to Sleep With Unresolved Issues

2013-05-16T17:00:00.000-07:00

Ogor Winnie Okoye is an inspiration to me. I agree with her introduction on her blog which reads, " I love my job! I love my clients! I love life! I love people! I love LOVE in its various manifestations." In addition, Ogor is "a spunky and vivacious mother of four amazing children... married to a truly wonderful man, Victor... an attorney and counselor at law by profession... an author..." Check out Ogor's website for more about her, and I hope you enjoy her marriage avowals;

How did you meet your husband?
I met Bubu ( I call my husband that and don’t ask me the meaning because I don’t know :)through a really close friend of mine, Uche. Uche had met Bubu and his friend, Chike, who were both dashingly handsome young man visiting Nigeria during the summer of 1994. She came running to my house and wasted no time in telling me that she met some really great guys vacationing from the States and one of them looks like my type. She suggested that it will be fun to hang out as in double date! We ended up double-dating for the evening and the rest they say became history. We all looked ridiculous in those first pictures we took, Myne. . OMG! You should see. . .

How long have you been married?
15 years into the journey, Myne; almost 20 years together and still counting. . .

How did he propose?
He proposed almost four years after we met. I guess for him, he knew right off the bet that he wanted to end with me as his “mrs.” For me, I guess it took me a little while longer. We did trans-continental dating for a while and then he proposed to me in 1997. How did he propose? You know, Bubu is every inch an Ibo man. I remember that we were having lunch in our favorite restaurant in Enugu and he had opened up a box and when I saw what he was about to do I was scared to death!

Honestly, I knew that I loved him but was not sure that was the kind of love for sustaining a fully committed marital relationship. I was about 22 years at the time and honestly was not looking to settle down. I loved that he had the perfect six-pack physique, he was fun, etc. I said; “ yes” first of all, he was really cool and I honestly had no clue what marriage entailed at the time. It was an exciting prospect and I have always had that sense of adventure! Fast forward to me today, I would tell another 20 something year old a totally different thing per the rules of engagement.. . I have been very lucky,. . .may be blessed cos I made the right “gut” decision.

What do you think is the “key” to a successful relationship and marriage?
I would say that divorcing your ego is the strongest key to a successful marriage. The ego makes you touchy feely and unnecessarily reactive; ultra-sensitive, etc. Your ego makes you want to always have the last word; your ego makes you want to change your partner to become a clone of yourself! Over time, I realized that my marriage became a lot more seamless and a lot more fun when I began to divorce my ego by coming to terms that Bubu is another person with his own unique set of individual traits that might differ from mine, sometimes significantly in a lot of ways.

With the divorce of the ego, one comes to the full realization that you must respect and honor your spouse’s individuality and resist that human tendency to make them more like what you wish for them to become. But seriously, why do most people want to change their spouses to become more like them? Why should they be and why are you the gold-standard on what the perfect partner should be? When you let your spouse be and begin working whole-heartedly on you becoming the best that you can be, your spouse would somehow meet you at that very high standard that you dared to set. That is one thing that I believe has sustained and nourished my marriage till date and I thank God I found out sooner than later because the truth is that there were years that were lost in the battle of the egos.

What is your favorite part about being married to your husband?
Oh Myne, I loooove this question. . .great question . . . personally, the most exciting question for me. Bubu literally gives me wings to fly! He is my biggest cheer-leader and would believe in me even when I have no faith left in myself. He trusts me whole-heartedly and lets me explore and pursue my passions. What to say about a man that will go to the ends of the earth for your literally. He would leave his busy schedule and take me throughout the country for multiple auditions multiple times simply because he believes in me unequivocally. He does not stifle me at all and encourages me to pursue my passion. He trusts me a 110%. . .He is one insanely supportive spouse and for that I just adoreeeeeeeee him. I also love that he is very driven and pushes me to the limits of physical endurance sometimes ( We often run together). He buys almost all of my clothes as I hate shopping. I love that about him too.

What is the hardest part about being married?
LOL should I say? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .; Ok, I have to say it! Being an African man of the Ibo race makes him predisposed to that stubborn, alpha male syndrome! (he is gonna kill me for saying this) But seriously, I hate that he is so stubborn!!! With a capital “S” (funny that even in the midst of that stubbornness, I can still sense that he loves me to pieces) He hardly ever budges and will not say sorry even when he should say it. I hate that he does not cook but is gradually getting better at cleaning around the house with me. Listen, I spoil this man and take full responsibility for that! Case in point, if he is hungry, rather than going to the refrigerator to take his meal out and warm it or make his fufu, he will be starving to death while waiting for me to get home and get his meal. (I honestly HATE that soooooo much). . .(I do. . )

Do you have children?
Yes Myne! God has been sooo kind and gracious to us! We have four children (2 boys and 2 girls) and can I say that the children actually prefer Bubu’s parenting style to mine because they tend to get away with a lot more from him . Our kids are very close in age (13, 12, 10, and 3) with exception of our little 3 year old daughter who is a lot younger than the rest.

How has this affected your marriage and how do you cope?
Children do change the dynamics of a marriage. It is like injecting another dimension of “challenge” to an already challenging situation. The good news is that they also bring enormous sunshine to the family as well! The key is to maintain the balance that works for you. I say, find what works and stick to it! When the kids were younger it was a lot tougher because I still had to run my private law practice and be mom at home and wife and everything else in between but as they got older, I would say that it got a lot easier because they are helping out with chores. You still have to be a good multi-tasker in order to balance out the different hats that you wear during the course of the day. But I am blessed that I married someone who is amazing with the children. Bubu has more patience than I do with the kids and so that helps tremendously.

What do you do to keep the marriage relationship fresh and positive?
I never discount the role of the Almighty in sustaining our relationship! He has come through for us during the turbulent times that our relationship was severely tested and I never forget that! Prayer has been the centerpiece of it all. I pray especially when I have reached the limits of my human ability and find that I have no more strength left in me.

Besides prayer, I consciously try to let Bubu be! Men love their space! It was NOT like this initially but over time I learnt that it worked wonders! Honestly I find that when I am busy investing in myself, I have almost no time to criticize or condemn him and so the fights are far and in between. Also, when I am not always clinging on to him, he looks at me like with that expression of, “who is she” in his eyes and I feel like he is courting me all over again. That adds a whole new level of sexiness to my package. .. (you must know what I mean Myne! )lol...

Myne, I also work out with him a lot and because we share the love of all things fitness together, it is a great balm for our relationship too . I always apologize, Myne. . . Sometimes when I am right and he is as wrong as wrong can be! A relationship advice from my dad before I left my childhood home still rings true today; “never go to sleep with unresolved issues and apologize as often as you can even when you believe you are right; for the sake of the commitment you made to each other”. I let him win as much as possible . . .(Bubu probably is disagreeing with this one. .., but it is true )

What is your advice to those dating or young couples?
Young people, listen carefully to this one as it is coming straight from my heart: “Marry your friend”. I will repeat it for the sake of emphasis and clarity! “Marry your friend” . . Why? Marriages borne from the bonds of true friendship usually fare better than most simply because the threads of true friendship are seldom broken during challenging times. True friends always find the one thing that keeps them hopeful through turbulent times. Most marriages lack that level of understanding. Even if you have to wait a life-time; the safer bet is to marry your friend. .

30 Things Every Woman Should Have By the Time She's 30

2013-05-16T15:02:00.000-07:00

30 is an important milestone in a woman’s life. It is a very special time in her life. She is at a time when she has left childhood behind and has started enjoying adulthood.

If you are a woman close to your thirties, this is my list of 30 things you should have:

1. An education – This is the best investment you could ever make in your life. Continue learning because as long as you keep learning, you keep growing.
2. A vocation: In addition to your education, become a professional in your career or area of specialisation. Get trained and get the necessary qualifications.
3. A savings account in your own name (and enough money in it) – One of the wisest investments you can make is starting a savings account early. Apportion at least 10% of your earnings to this account and watch it grow.
4. A sense of humor, style and purpose – Humor is very attractive and will get you through some tough patches. A sense of style lets you stand out from your peers and having purpose ensures you pursue your goals with focus.
5. The wisdom to fall in love with your eyes open – Know what you want out of your love relationships and avoid being carried away with the ‘feeling’ of love.

6. The perfect suit to wear for a job interview – As you move higher in life, there’s sure to be numerous job interviews. You never get a second chance to make a first impression, so make sure your suit gives the very best first impression.
7. A set of matching luggage – You may need to go on vacation sometime. Do it in style with your set of matching luggage.
8. A matching set of lacy bikini – Who knows? You may need to relax at the beach when you go off on that vacation or go for a swim anytime soon. Make sure your bikini is just perfect for the occasion.
9. A recipe for a meal you are almost perfect at – Even if it’s something basic, make sure you are almost perfect at preparing one complete meal.
10. A first love (and several other loves) – The magic of first love is as painful when it’s over, but the best part of it is that after you cry your eyes out, you let go and become wiser. And when you love again, you will know how to keep it. This time, longer.
11. A broken heart (and the knowledge that you can survive it) – A broken heart means that you tried…at least. Only time (and girlfriends) can heal your broken heart. You can survive it….and love again.
12. One friend that makes you laugh….and one you can always run to – What can we do without close friends? Make friends for life and be a friend yourself.
13. A childhood you are grateful for (though not perfect) – None of us chose our childhood, but we can be grateful for all it taught us (perfect or not).
14. A plan for the future you are looking forward to – Without a plan for your future, how do you know when you get there? Sit down with yourself and write where you see yourself in 3, 5, 10 years and make a plan to get there.
15. A good skin care routine – Glowing skin is the dream of every woman. But it does not just happen. Get a good skin care regimen that is best for your skin type and watch your skin glow.
16. A good hairdresser – A woman’s hair is her crowning glory. Get a hairdresser who understands your hair and can help you maintain it in the best possible way.
17. A tailor who can make drop dead outfits – The way you dress is the way you will be addressed. Get a tailor who knows what style really is.
18. A spiritual foundation and faith in God – Maintaining a relationship with God is the best foundation for life. He is your creator and redeemer, so get closer to Him each passing day.
19. A drop dead gorgeous photo of yourself - to remind you that you are beautiful.
20. A best friend – If you fall down, your best friend will pick you up. If you need a hand or a shoulder to cry on, your best friend will be there.
21. A dream - it all starts with a dream. Dream! Let your imagination run wild while you fill up a blank sheet of paper with everything you want to be, do or have. This will keep you going even in the tough times.
22. The phone number of someone who will drop everything and come when you call.
23. A perfectly fitted bra - Wearing the right sized bra is comfortable, helps your posture and aids the lymph flow inside your breasts. Also, since your breasts will spend most of their time in a bra, should they not be comfortable?
24. A pair of jeans that fit just right - Most ladies will wear a pair of jeans at least once a week. Jeans can also be worn for informal and semi-formal events. Having one that fits just right would make you stand out from the crowd.
25. A handbag you can never get tired of - Handbags are one of those accessories a lady can’t do without. A nice, reasonably sized leather handbag will always do the trick.
26. An average proficiency in Microsoft Word and Excel – No matter who you are or what you do, you need to be computer savvy. Start with basic Microsoft Word and Excel, but don’t stop there.
27. Confidence – You are a woman. You are important. Carry yourself as one.
28. Humility – Modesty and an unassuming nature are not signs of weakness. Only a very strong and confident person can be humble. Refuse to get puffed up but remain humble.
29. The guts to say No without feeling guilty – People will always need you to do things for them. Do as much as you can but never choke yourself just to please people. Sometimes you just need to say No.
30. A competitive streak: A desire to be the best and to stand out from the crowd. Make yourself more productive so that you remain relevant.

Now it’s your turn. What do you think a woman should know and have by the time she turns 30?

___________

My life is one of the most convoluted lives I know. But somehow, I have refused to give up. I know there’s more behind my life. I was created for a reason and definitely, I am going to fulfill my destiny! You can visit me at Seyi’s Blog

Uproar As Zoe Saldana’s Weight Revealed On Allure Cover

2013-05-16T13:02:00.000-07:00

It's no news that the world and Hollywood is obsessed about weight, but it seems this is the first time a woman's weight has been put on the front cover of a fashion magazine, and it ends up being Zoe Saldana's who weighs in at just 115pounds. A lot of websites have condemned the move as offensive and sending a wrong message to women, from the Examiner,

No doubt, Zoe Saldana looks phenomenal on the cover of Allure. Did we really need to know how much she weighs? Would the popular women's magazine put a plus-size model on their cover and headline it "250 pounds and rocking the world"? Not likely.

to the Daily Beast

There’s enough pressure as it is for women, particularly women in the fashion and entertainment industries, to conform to mainstream body-image standards—an issue that Allure has addressed many times in its 22 years of existence. The magazine should know better than to put so much weight on what number its cover girl tips the scales at.

Yahoo also interviews Hilary Levey Friedman, a Harvard sociologist who often writes and speaks about images in the media, who adds,

The message to women on the Allure cover... is that "you need to be thin and strong. Just one isn't enough anymore. This only puts more demands on women and can lead to varied types of disordered eating."

On Today, Zoe Saldana spoke out about the criticisms saying the revelation of her weight has been taken out of context, and that Allure magazine was simply trying to imply that "for a lightweight person, I seem to be really strong-minded. It would have been wrong if they were lying about the weight. I've always been a very thin frame. That is how much I weigh, it's something I can't control. It's who I am."

Allure has released a statement backing their cover star, saying, "We were so impressed by what a tough, confident woman Saldana is that we wanted to capture that."

I honestly don't know that either side is wrong, my own stand will be to say, can we give it all a rest about the weight? Big boned or skinny framed, eat right, exercise, be healthy and love who you are as you continue to work on yourself. The numbers on the scale in my opinion are not the be all and end all of your life or health.

What do you think?

Throwback Thursday - Pencil Thin Eyebrows

2013-05-16T03:03:00.000-07:00

My first winter, but not here. I arrived in Edinburgh, Scotland in September 2006 and by my birthday, it was already much colder than I had ever experienced. When I first put this picture up on Facebook, people said I looked like a Muslim because of the head wrap and scarf. Fact was, I was on my way out and they were protection from the cold. That was how I dressed most of that winter, lol...

Oh yeah, and back then, I used to shape my eyebrows quite thin. Yay or Nay? Now I would say nay, but back then, it must have been a yay. Why did I change the style? Story for another day.

Toke Makinwa on Relationships Rules By Oprah and Dr Phil

2013-05-16T01:02:00.000-07:00

Toke Makinwa {read 10 Things you didn't know about Toke here} shares another video in which she discusses rules on relationships and whether they should apply. It seems like when she first saw these particular rules from Oprah and Dr. Phil, she took them as gospel, but she has since matured to understand that any relationship rule should be more like a guideline and shouldn't be used to monitor a particular relationship that one is in at any point in time.

I wanted to share this video because someone mentioned in the post about non-verbal signs that a guy really loves you {here}, that a lot of the clues seem stereotypical, and that is because they are. Relationship rules are not structures to box you in, but windows to help you see what could be outside or glasses to help you see what you might be missing. And in the case of 10 Things, or 25 Tips, or 7 ways or whatever, you don't have to do all, or use all, or find all, just enough to make you happy.

The article which Toke reads in the video and which is supposed to be Oprah's thoughts on men and relationships is below as well as a short paragraph at the end by Dr. Phil.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending… Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage… Deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary…not supplementary.

Dating is fun… Even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes… When a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says… You should know that: You’re the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he’ll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he’s not the only one. They’re all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts.

And BTW, while I don't know about the part in bold by Dr Phil, Snopes is of the opinion that the part supposed to be by Oprah may not be by her after all. Read their post here.

POLL - Should You Remain Friends With An Ex?

2013-05-16T00:05:00.000-07:00

When you date someone, for most people, it means that you hope for the long term. But sometimes, it doesn't end that way. After the memories you've both made together, the laughter or the tears, you have to get up, dust your backside and move on. In many instances where there is a break-up discussion, and both people are trying to show they're mature and all, they decide to remain friends. Is it worth it? What would you do? Vote below and give more details in the comments too. Thanks!

Another Baby Factory Discovered - Reasons Why More Will Be Found

2013-05-15T17:36:00.000-07:00

For the second time in a barely a week,the police today raided a 'baby factory' in Enugu and rescued six pregnant teenagers from the coerced selling of their newborns. This time, three suspects were arrested, unlike in the previous case where the madam is still on the run. According to AFP;

Nigerian police on Wednesday said they had found six pregnant teenage girls in a raid on a house and arrested three people suspected of planning to sell their babies. It was the second so-called baby-factory uncovered in a week in the west African nation.

"We acted on intelligence information and raided the house in Enugu (city) where we met six girls, under 17 and all pregnant, and freed them," police spokesman Ebere Amaraizu in southeastern Enugu state told AFP.

He said two men and a woman believed to be operating a child trafficking ring were arrested during the raid on Monday and were cooperating with police. Amaraizu said the girls had been "lured into the house with a promise of some money after" delivering a child.

"Investigation will unravel the details. We have to know how they came about the pregnancy and where they came from," he said.

Monday's raid came five days after police in nearby Imo State freed 17 pregnant girls and 11 small children from a home in the town of Umuaka. The girls, aged between 14 and 17, told police that they had been impregnated by a 23-year-old man who is currently in custody. The owner of the building is on the run.

Nigerian police have uncovered a series of alleged baby factories in recent years, notably in the southeastern part of the country, but the intended buyers of the children have not been established.

That last sentence is at the bottom of why this kind of story will always be in the news. There is a demand for these babies, and in most cases, that demand is 'kind of' genuine. I've been thinking about this issue a lot more since the last story broke, about the same time as a couple who failed a DNA test to bring their twins to America after the wife allegedly had them in Nigeria.

So what are the reasons that I think make these "baby factories" so prevalent? And why do I think more will be found? Below are the core issues, and they are all cultural/traditional taboos or stigmas;

1. Taboo against proper sex education for teenagers

2. Stigma against teenage pregnancy or any pregnancy out of wedlock

3. Stigma against infertility among couples

4. Stigma against babies born outside a marriage

5. Taboo against open and legal adoption

6 Things You Can Do To Keep Your Marriage Fresh

2013-05-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

Most romantic relationships experience up and downs, and in some marriages it gets stuck in the downers. Before you guys got married, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely spontaneous experience. However, after a few years of marriage, the euphoria begins to fade. Phone calls become a bother, touch is not always welcome, and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, drive you nuts.

Mort Fertel, who I have referenced HERE, says that "At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages break down. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their relationship for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it."

I agree with him that the solution to a flat marriage lies within it rather than outside. As long as there are no abusive issues love is a decision you can refresh, especially after those first euphoric days or years are past. In marriage and other long term relationships, you have to "make" love every day. It takes time, effort, and most importantly, wisdom. These are some things I came up with that can help keep marriage fresh.

1. Improve yourselves, as individuals and as a couple. Learn new hobbies, apart and together. Schedule date nights and stick to it. Spend quality time on your own and grow and mature as a person. The same goes for being a stronger more stable relationship with your partner.

2. Write to each other. This can include little love notes, emails, post-it, text messages, chat, etc. In each communication byte, tell your partner that you love him or her. If possible state how much you do, and you can also list all the different things that attracted you to them in the first place, and that keeps you going. These love bytes are what will remind you of the heady early days, and continue to refresh your relationship.

3. Communicate face to face on the hard stuff, the things you don't like. OK, you can also take the easy route of starting the conversation via written means. But whatever, and however you want to do it, do not bottle grudges up or save them for another day. Probably not immediately when you're angry, but soon when you've calmed down but the incident or attitude that grouched you up is still clear in both your minds.

4. Show your love. Yes, I mean PDA aka public displays of affection. And yes, the public in there can refer to just you and your spouse. Build up your intimacy by making out more often. If you're home, it may lead to sex or it may not. If you're out, hold hands and entwine your fingers and put your arms around each other's waist or shoulder. Touch each other, stoke the fire of your physical attraction, and see if you won't bring the sexy back!

5. Talk to a trusted person or couple, preferably a trained counselor or therapist. Some Nigerians think this is going too far but I chose to compare psychologists to doctors. If one has a lump in the breast, you go to your oncologist, if your mind has a bump that refuses to go away, you go to a psychologist. These people are trained for a purpose, use them as a resource. If you still don't want to go there, go to a pastor, older relative, etc. I will highly suggest you be very careful in how and who you chose.

6. Learn the art of forgiveness. It is said that to err is human and to forgive is divine. It is the mark of a humble mind to forgive, and more than that to let go. It might not be easy, but it is doable. Cut your partner some slack, cut yourself some slack while you're at it and you'll find that life is sometimes not as serious as we hold it to be.

Chioma Yvonne Mbanefo - Learn From Other Couple's Experiences

2013-05-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

Chioma Yvonne Mbanefo is an entrepreneur, writer, and member, Organising Team at TEDxEuston. She says about herself, "I have always been creative and entrepreneurial at a very young age, from making and selling ethnic ragdolls, crafts and even hairdressing in my teenage years. I am currently one of the Directors of an IT Firm based in the City of London, as well as a part time university lecturer." Yvonne is also a wife and mother. Enjoy her marriage avowals;

How did you meet your husband?

15 years ago on boxing day I was getting ready to relocate to the United States. The plan was to go, sort out where I would live etc, come back and get the rest of my stuff. On the eve of my departure, a friend asked me to come and hang out with her and also braid her hair one last time. As I was as her apartment, her boyfriend dropped by, and we told him we needed to buy hair extensions. Since the hair shop was near his friend's house, he decided to return the movie he borrowed from his friend.

We went to his house, and we got introduced. I was quite intrigued because the roast turkey he made and served us tasted wonderful and for me it was unusual that a single guy would take the time to make roast turkey with the trimmings. He was also the reserved and the quiet type and I am the opposite. Since I was packing all my stuff and travelling the next day, I looked anything but glamorous.

We then jointly decided to go to Chinatown for drinks and dinner and in the process myself and the quiet guy struck up a conversation. To cut a long story short, I still traveled to the US the next day but then turned it into a holiday. I came back to England after 3 weeks of long phone calls and that was the end of my plans to relocate to the US. Three years later, we got married.

How long have you been married?
We've been married for 11 years now

How did your husband propose?
He proposed at Heathrow Airport exactly 2 years to the day after we met, as I was about to get on a plane to visit Nigeria. He proposed in front of our friends, incidentally the same couple that introduced us to each other. We all sat at a table after I had checked in and were having some drinks. I needed some tissue and he made as if he was getting his handkerchief out of his pocket and instead produced a little box, and then popped the question. I thought it was a joke until I saw that it was really a ring. It was somewhat embarrassing as some people at other tables noticed what was going on and were egging me on to answer. I still tease him about being totally African by not going on one knee.

What do you think is the “key” to a successful relationship and marriage?
Honesty and realizing that men and women ARE wired differently. Also realizing that you cannot change the other person - If you cannot handle a habit or quality that they have, you should actually make a decision to either bear it or end the relationship and move on.

What is your favorite part about being married to your husband?
How our differences compliment each other. I'm a dreamer and the creative type and he is the one that gently brings me down to earth or reality. He is also very domesticated and can cook as well, if not better than me. From bathing our new born babies to packing our Daughters' hair, he fully participates in what's going on in the household. We can talk about stuff for hours without running out of topics and I value the friendship that we have. I am quite quirky and he does support and accommodate my quirkiness .

What is the hardest part about being married?
Trying to figure out what he's thinking sometimes. We run an IT consultancy business together here in London and being in the same office, then going back to the same house and bed can be quite challenging. Sometimes, because men are grunters and also tend to switch off, it can be a struggle trying to get him to listen to what I am saying. Some people do ask me how we manage with working at the same place. We've somehow learnt how to be very professional at work though we try have lunch together when work permits. Marriage is not easy, because two totally different people, from different backgrounds and different ways
of thinking, are merging together. Both partners need to work on their marriage to make it work, because it is so easy to take the other for granted. We try to be very conscious of this.

Do you have children?
Yes, we've been blessed with three wonderful children.Two girls and a boy.

How has this affected your marriage and how do you cope?
We were together for 3 years before we got married and had time to travel and do things together. We used to go clubbing, parties and hang out with friends but obviously don't have as much time since the children came. Now we try to have an hour or two together chatting when the kids go to bed. If family or friends are visiting, we also take advantage of the free childcare and go out somewhere. Because he travels quite a bit we make full use of smart phones and available communication tools when we are not at the same place.Also we try not to neglect the sex part of the marriage as that department usually suffers when kids come. So basically we do try to make out time for each other.

What do you do to keep the marriage relationship fresh and positive?
Doing things like sending silly text messages in the middle of the day, and finding things to laugh about. I've also seen that prayers have helped my marriage a lot, especially when we quarrel or run into conflict. We also try to listen to relation improvement programs - it is amazing what you can learn from other couples' experiences.

What is your advice to those dating or young couples?
Never go to bed with anger in your heart, and never bring pride into your relationship. It doesn't matter who say's sorry first, making up is really worth it.

Respect each other's views, see things from their own point of view and then find a compromise if need be.
Trouble will come, but how you handle each episode will determine how well the relationship will develop.

Also one superb advice My Dad gave me on my wedding day is this - "Nobody is worth you and your partner quarrelling. The person will go back to their house and sleep soundly, whilst both of you will be miserable and stay awake facing the opposite walls."

__________
The Marriage Avowals is an interview series promoting a positive image of marriage and family. If you'll like to be featured, please email myne@mynewhitman.com.

Top Nigerian Male Model, Ngoli Okafor Gets Married

2013-05-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

Ngo Okafor and Kindra Hanson

Ngoli Okafor is a top male and sports model, and according to his website, Getingo, "Ngo Okafor has graced the pages and covers of countless magazines and has been called the most downloaded black male model. As an actor he has worked on numerous TV shows, movies and Soap operas. As a boxer, he is a back-to-back, two-time Golden Gloves Champion."

What many don't know about Ngo Okafor is that he is a romantic at heart. He fell in love with his wife, Kindra Hanson at first sight. The couple met on a photo shoot back in 2004, but only started dating in 2008. They have been together ever since and got married almost exactly one month ago on April 13.

Even though they had been living together for three and a half years by August 2012, Ngoli's brand new bride, Kindra, still got a big surprise when he proposed in front of family and friends at their mutual friend's place. Continue for more pictures of the surprise proposal and the very cute story of how they met. Wedding pictures coming soon, hopefully :)

How they met by Kindra

2004---Ngo and I met in 2004 at a modeling job. We were booked to shoot the cover of a book called "When Souls Mate. " Yep, you read that correctly, in hindsight, it looks like fate had a hand in us booking this job together. Ngo was late and I was adamant about finishing on time because I HAD to be at work at 5pm. Well my hubby to be, finally arrived while I was getting my hair and makeup done and because he was late I was NOT impressed. Us Virgos, are always prompt, so me no likey!!

The art director whispered in my ear. "Oh, you are so lucky!" "Do you know that you are working with the most downloaded male model?!?" I said, "oh ok, well I have to leave at 5pm!" Lol!!!!! The shoot finally starts and Ngo is told to "embrace me". Needless to say, along with the embrace came a whole lot of whispering in my ear and extra touching. He said, "Your skin is so soft." "You are so beautiful." Nice words, but I was annoyed.

In my mind, I was thinking, just do your job buddy, zip your lips, and watch those hands. The shoot ended, and I bolted out of there. Ngo asked which train was I going to take. I said the F train and he said me too. Insert grunt... He asked me for my number and I gave it to him, because these were the days that guys would call you right away to make sure the number was right. He dialed me two weeks later, and per Ngo I blew him off and he erased my number.

2005---I get off of the train at Union Square, rocking my Von Dutch trucker hat! Lol!! So, I see a lot of women standing in a big group. I was curious to see what the fuss was all about and then, I spotted a guy,with his shirt off in the middle of them. (Ngo swears that he was wearing a tank top, but I disagree). I immediately recognized the guy and it as Ngo!!!!! I pulled my hat down lower and walked in the opposite direction. --- Ngo told me later that he saw me. Funny right?!?

2006---I'm at work, hanging at the front desk and who steps off of the elevator???? NGO did! I couldn't believe it. Out of all of the gyms in New York, he just had to walk into mine. He didn't speak to me and I didn't speak to him. He was there to interview to be a trainer. He was hired and he started working at Peak right away.

2006-2008---We ignored each other at work and never spoke to each other. Yep that's right! We didn't speak to each other for TWO years!!

2008-- One Friday night me, Ngo, and John ( our BFF) were all working late. I'm usually never there at that time, but fate would have me there. The three of us started to chat and we were cracking each other up. Ngo asked me and John to continue the discussion and fun over drinks at Mark't and we said yes . We had a BLAST!! I got to see Ngo in a different light and it turned out my initial take on him wasnt accurate.

I found him to be really smart, hilarious, and very open. I became curious about Ngo after that! We all said goodbye and that was that . The very next night my BFF, Gaby invited me to karaoke and told me to invite some friends. Well, I decided to ask Ngo to come. I went to the gym that day and of course Ngo was there working out. I was nervous to ask him out, so I made up a lie and asked him to borrow his headphones.

LAME!!!!! Well, he went for it, and I used them. A few hours later he came to get them back and I said " hey I invited some people from Peak to do karoake, and you should come! " We exchanged numbers and I sent him the info. I wasn't sure if he was going to come, but at least I extended an invitation. Forward to me, Gaby, and friends at karaoke and Ngo walks in. He was so outgoing and the thing that finally hooked me was, Ngo doing a duet with me on Nelly Furtado's Promiscious Girl. Done and done!! We have been together ever since.

Not done? Check out their wedding website for more...

Couple Love - Mercy Johnson's Love Note to Husband On His Birthday

2013-05-15T06:12:00.000-07:00

Mercy Johnson and Odi Okojie

I hav lots of luv msg in my head,but I know he deserves more.so confused on wat d sweetest word 2 my hubby should be.hmmm I Love You ODI.HBD
— Mercy Johnson Okojie (@realmercyj) May 15, 2013

Happy birthday to him and may the love keep shacking them for ever. Read her interview here.

Church Remains the Top Place To Get Married

2013-05-15T04:05:00.000-07:00

This was the resounding result according to a poll carried out right here on Romance Meets Life. Having a wedding in or around your home was the least favorite place people dream of getting married with just about 7% of the votes. A Landmark like a castle or popular building came in a close second followed by Beach and Public Garden which tied for third place. Of the 114 people who voted, the results are as follows;

Church or Registry 31.58% (36 votes)

Landmark e.g Castle 26.32% (30 votes)

Beach 17.54% (20 votes)

Public Garden 17.54% (20 votes)

In Your Home 7.02% (8 votes)

Check out these audacious ideas for wedding locations. Next Poll coming up soon, leave some suggestions in the comments if you have any topic in mind. Thanks for taking part in these polls.

The Mother Revealed in How I Met Your Mother

2013-05-14T23:09:00.000-07:00

My interest in How I Met Your Mother began to fizzle after a couple of seasons, when the titular mother was still not yet in the picture. I still caught an episode here and there, and the recent finale of the last season was one of them. And guess what? The mother has been revealed, and it is said that next season will be the last. Well, it took them long enough. Yahoo reports;

After a drum roll that has lasted eight seasons and almost 200 episodes (183 to be exact), we finally met the love of Ted's (Josh Radnor) life in Monday night's "How I Met Your Mother" season finale.

The episode was almost over. Lily (Alyson Hannigan) was still trying to wrap her head around Ted's secret decision to move to Chicago. She was also still thinking about moving to Italy with hubby Marshall (Jason Segal). Anyway, everyone was getting ready to go to Robin (Cobie Smulders) and Barney's (Neil Patrick Harris) wedding.

Including: a girl in boots carrying a yellow umbrella and a bass guitar (hello, Mother!) and buying one train ticket to Farhampton. Then the episode was over.

So how do we know she's the mother? It's the yellow umbrella, you see. Future Ted once made a reference to "the thing with your mom's yellow umbrella" which he picked up at a party somehow. Also, CBS has confirmed that the girl is indeed the Mother.

Bring on the final season I say.

Brad Pitt Praises Angelina Jolie For Choosing Preventive Double Mastectomy

2013-05-14T21:33:00.000-07:00

Angelina Jolie, who is 37, yesterday revealed that she had chosen the surgical procedure of a double mastectomy as a preventative measure against cancer. This was after genetic tests revealed she had an 87 per cent chance of developing breast cancer and a 50 per cent chance of ovarian cancer. In her article, she had taken the difficult decision so she could tell her children “they don’t need to fear they will lose me”.

She also wrote in the same article, read here, about her partner, Brad Pitt, who she commended for standing by her through the over three months it took to complete her treatment. He has now come out with his support of her openly. Brad Pitt told the Evening Standard:

“Having witnessed this decision firsthand, I find Angie’s choice, as well as so many others like her, absolutely heroic. I thank our medical team for their care and focus. "All I want for is for her to have a long and healthy life, with myself and our children. This is a happy day for our family.”

It's amazing what we can face up to when we have people we love and who care for us too, batting in our corner. I wish them all the best. And they should do and have their wedding too :)