R & R: Reviews and Ramblings

That Other Song #10: EMF

2011-08-03T16:53:00.001-04:00

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EMF said a lot...now if only they were memorable

State of the Union

2011-07-31T09:00:00.014-04:00

It's been a while since I've done this. You might notice that this is not a review of anything, after a streak of over two years worth of Sundays. The reason for this is simple, I'm going away from the blog like I did. I can't do this anymore and I would rather focus my energies on That Other Song. Now, the blog is not going away since That Other Song would still be posted here every other Wednesday. Also, I still want to review things, just on a more laid-back schedule where I could take my time writing a review that doesn't suck. Also, if Jeff Zweig wants to post something, he will. Granted I doubt it since he's busy with his book but the opportunity will always be there.

So until next time, this Wednesday will have a new episode of That Other Song with EMF.

Devil May Cry 4 reviewed

2011-07-24T09:00:00.057-04:00

Ah Devil May Cry....will I never cease to play your games even though the first two are utter crap and three not sucking was a mere fluke. But then again, Devil May Cry 4 may have the momentum of the third to push it over the edge to another good game....or could actually be a legitimately good game on its own. Besides, I just can't stop playing the franchise when I only have one more game left to beat...so far. So with that said, let's dig into Devil May Cry 4.

You are Nero....who is not Dante or Dante in a disguise. I think they may be related but I'm not sure how and the game doesn't know how either. But anyways, Nero is bored out of his mind watching his girlfriend, Kyrie, sing a hymn and the Pope blathering on Sparda and how we need a savior. Then Dante comes crashing down and shoots the Pope in the face! Of course that's bad and Nero is tasked with finding and apprehending Dante...then Kyrie gets kidnapped and then you find out that there's a whole bunch of demoning going on along with demonic angels.

And that's my biggest problem with the game, Nero. No, not the fact that he exists because there is a germ of an interesting idea with Dante being a bad guy who must be stopped at all costs, of course the game doesn't follow with that plotline. My problem with Nero is that he's pretty much Dante. He has Dante's weapons, a sword and a gun. He looks like Dante, only a bit more of a pretty-boy. He pretty much plays like Dante and I'm thinking, if this guy looks, fights and plays like Dante...why am I not playing as Dante? What's the point of a new character if he all is going to do is want me to play the old character.

And then for a few missions, you get to play as Dante and all seems to be well. Then you realize with a sicking feeling that you're just retracing Nero's steps. Going into rooms that he was already in, either solving the puzzles Nero solved or just slashing it in bits and re-killing the same bosses. There's nothing new in the levels except palette-swapped enemies with more HP. And then he gets all the bad missions, one of them has a spontaneous and gratuitous time limit or a level filled with poisonous gas. Nero's levels had no time limits and no poison at all!

But, for all the problems playing the game, the cut-scenes are by far the best of the series. If the third game upped the awesomeness and camp to eleven, then the fourth game upped it to twelve. The action is great and the "camerawork" if you will is fluid and kinetic. The voice-acting is extremely entertaining and there leads the charm of a few amazing scenes like a Shakespearean duel of words in an opera house or the battle between Dante and Nero.

For every moment I liked, there was an equal number of moments where I wanted to put my controller through a wall. It would make for a nice B+-movie but then there's playing the game and it's problems. Granted, those problems are not as bad as the first two games and the results are at least playable even if the difficulty goes back to being unfair at times and the camera system is, by far, the worst of the series. It's something to pleases the fans but wont' break through to non-fans like 3 did.

6/10

Captain America: The First Avenger reviewed

2011-07-23T17:16:00.000-04:00

NOTE: This was shown in glorious 2-D

Another piece of the Avengers assembly is finally....err assembled with Captain America: The First Avenger. Even in this horrible glut of superhero movies this year, it's a fair chance that one may be a bit tired of it all. I know I was beginning to tire of it but I know I have to see a Marvel movie since it all leads up to the Avengers in 2012. So I plopped down with low expectations and wanted to see the Avengers trailer at the end. But I was kinda shocked and surprised that it turned into a grand, entertaining adventure with lots of old-fashioned derring do.

Steve Rogers is a 90 pound weakling that even me and my pathetic muscles can beat up. He wants to fight for his country during World War II but he, rightfully, keeps being rejected for being small, weak and full of many diseases. But he keeps trying and some German scientist refugee offers him a chance to be something special, a super soldier. And before he knows it, he turns into Captain America., a propaganda machine! And then he actually joins the battle against Hydra, a splinter group from the Nazi's, that's lead by the evil Red Skull, the first person to be given the super serum. Then a whole bunch of good-old fashioned American ass-kicking follows.

The movie actually takes its time to set up the situations and characters so nothing is forced through at break-neck speed....except the POW's-cum-Commandos but that's fairly understandable. The movie does go through with some decent pains to develop Steve Rogers into a weak man with a good heart into a superhero....with a good heart. The action scenes are crisp, clear and a hoot to watch. The movie truly shows the it's all about having a good time when it comes to the action.

The acting all-around is almost as good as the first Iron Man movie. Chris Evans really sells his transformation and Steve Rogers as a good man. But then again, I always thought that Evans was underrated and he could always be counted on for his charisma and charm at least. Tommy Lee Jones as the gruff military officer is pretty much Tommy Lee Jones and that's always fine by me. Hugo Weaving is deliciously entertaining as the Red Skull who knows how to play the evil up. Everyone else is fine.

While both Iron Man movies had Robert Downey Jr's. remarkable performance, Thor had amazing Shakespearean overtones and The Incredible Hulk had smashing, Captain America also has something special. This is really good entertainment. It does everything it's supposed to do, it sets up The Avengers, it's action-packed, it sets up Captain America and it's just plain entertaining.

8/10

That Other Song #9 - Nu Shooz

2011-07-20T17:00:00.001-04:00

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Because even before Rob Liefeld's reign of 90's terror, poor literacy was cool.

Top 50 Games #35: God of War II

2011-07-18T09:00:00.010-04:00

WHAT'S IT ABOUT:
Kratos is the new God of War after killing Ares but him being all jerkassey has made the rest of the Gods jealous. So Zeus decides to betray and take away Kratos's God powers and rights. He also decides to send him to Hades but all does this is piss Kratos off. So he fights his way back and makes an alliance with the Titans to destroy Mount Olympus but first, Kratos needs to change his destiny and make his way to The Temple of the Fates to do so.

WHY I LIKE IT:
But I know that this means nothing in the main draw of this, good old violence that's up to 11 here. You basically obliterate a good amount of Greek mythology single-handed. I mean the first game only had you killing The Hydra, Medusa, The Minotaur and Ares. This one has you killing: The Colossus of Rhodes, The Sisters of Fate, The Kraken, Persius, Theseus, Icarus(one of the best boss fights in the game) and whoever else I'm forgetting. And what would a review of a God of War game be without me mentioning the violence. All the times you break necks, rip off arms that have blades in them and then put the bladed arm into an enemy's face, kick dogs and break their necks, rip off heads, cut off wings, rip out eyes, rip out wings, tear things in half, run an enemy's own sword through him and slitting throats brings out the MAAAANNN in me....not really, but it's awesome. And Pegasus is in the game as a mode of transportation for Kratos...but wait, isn't Pegasus that unmanly flying horse that Hercules rode. You would be right...if Pegasus wings weren't ON FIRE! And his fur was BLACK, instead of white! Cause Kratos only rides things that are as black and manly as his dark, manly SOUL!

MY FAVORITE PART:
The Colossus of Rhodes

Read my review here.

Witch and Wizards: Operation Zero reviewed

2011-07-17T09:00:00.054-04:00

You gotta love my mom, she bought a James Patterson book because she looks reading James Patterson books. Little did she knew that bought a graphic novel. She doesn't read them and has no interest in reading them, even for her beloved James Patterson. But she knew that I read them, even if it's like one every five years, but I did read them and she gave it to me. I figured I might as well give it a chance and see what my mom sees...well, my mom watches those crappy movies on SyFy so I should have known better. Anyways on to Witch and Wizard: Operation Zero.

It's the future and the world has fallen over a New World Order. No, not the one lead by Hulk Hogan...or Jeff Jarrett....or Bret Hart but by The One Who is the One! Creativity is banned, books are burned and magic apparently exists so it can be banned. There's a resistance led by the Allgood siblings, Whit and Wisty, to take back what's theirs. In this story, The One who Bans Books has turned against the New World Order and has knowledge of a book that takes away somebody's magic powers....like The One Who is the One has!

First off, it's a sequel to something since there's a 2 on the spine. I figured that since Patterson seems to crap out books every minute of every hour of every day. However, while prior knowledge would have been nice, it's not actually required to understand what's going on in Operation Zero so that's got that going for it....which is nice. The story itself...isn't all that good. It's thin, it's moronic and at times ridiculous but not in the good, fun way. Of course most of my other complaints is in regards to the lack of world-building or good backstory but this is a sequel so that can be forgiven.

There is one thing that this book did right and that it's paced extremely well. I finished it in less than an hour....on the toilet! While the story may be thin, as in little development or backstory, it also doesn't have much time for fluff either. It's very economical with its story and every page either attempts to pack a punch or advance the story, it doesn't always succeed but it does try.

The artwork here is decent. The art is bright and colorful. The people actually look like people without doing any impossible Rob Liefeld-ian poses, even though the woman are scantily clad for some reason. The backgrounds are a little sparse and there are a couple times where the comic is laid out in a manner where trying to figure out what panel to read next is next-to-impossible. One page had it where it was to be read top-to-bottom, left-to-right....comics should rarely work that way and only then if there's a reason and it's clear which way to read.

It's more of summer blockbuster movie. It's there, it's somewhat entertaining and I think there were some explosions. It's a quick read and while it doesn't do much with what it has, it does do it in a fairly competent manner. You won't suffer that much with this.

6/10

Ratchet and Clank Future: Tools of Destruction reviewed

2011-07-10T09:00:00.050-04:00

It's Ratchet and Clank game time once again boys and girls. And after exhausting all the PS2 and PS2 ports of the PSP games, I've moved on to the PS3. And this time, the series is going to the FUTURE for some reason. So what's the future like? What new changes come with the upgrade to the PS3? How mighty is Captain Qwark's pecs? Well...not mighty enough sad to say. It's just more of the same as I'll explain.

We find our two heroes fixing a hoverbike and taking it easy...again. Then it turns out there's an alien invasion going on decimating the city being led by the evil Emperor Tachyon, leader of the extinct race The Cragmites! Tachyon's goal is simple, he wants to destroy all Lombaxes which Ratchet is obviously is. Eventually both of them race towards the Lombaxes greatest invention which has the power to open up any dimension which could lead to the return of The Cragmites....which is up. Meanwhile, Clank has been attracting some weird things like The Zoni who are some mystical robot creatures. Also, robot pirates are involved.

The game play is very similar to most of the previous Ratchet games. Ratchet and Clank fly to some world, there's a bunch of things to kill and Ratchet kills them with many types of weapons. When you kill enough things the weapon levels up to become more powerful. Yeah, not much has changed has it? I know some people, probably AC/DC fans, are going to be all like "If it's not broke, don't fix it...maaaannn!". It's not broke, but it's all stale and complacent.

That's the thing, there's nothing fresh or exciting while I was playing this. I didn't really have much fun and nothing the game did made me forget that I wasn't actually having fun. Anything this game did could be done on the Playstation 2 with the exception of some of the character models being a bit smoother than they have been in the past. There's nothing really epic, no big set pieces and nothing really to push the envelope or expand our minds or something like that.

Oh wait, the this game does try to utilize the PS3's SIXAXIS controller which is something different I guess. If you don't know or remember the SIXAXIS, it's pretty much that you can actually control the game....THROUGH THE CONTROLLER ITSELF! Whatever way you tilt the controller, that's where whatever you're controlling(not necessarily Ratchet) tilts! And it's a utter failure since it's way too sensitive and way too frustrating for it be even remotely effective. Many times I tilt just a little and the thing I'm controlling just goes flying off every which way.

This is the most disappointing Ratchet and Clank game I've played yet. Sure the PSP ports were somewhat worse but they were ports, I had very little expectations for them. The only thing I expected out of them was that they not be blights upon humanity and they weren't. But this one I did have such expectations that it would be good and be grand and be everything it should be on the PS3 and to see that it wasn't really sucks. It does what it does well, but you can tell the seasonal rot is setting with the exception of the ending in which it promises a whole new direction and fires up my imagination. But other than that, it's all very meh.

6/10

That Other Song #8 - Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

2011-07-06T16:04:00.001-04:00

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Remember the time when all we had to fear from Mark Wahlberg was him dropping his pants instead of running from plants? Also, new place.

Zombies vs. Nazis: A Lost History of the Walking Undead reviewed

2011-07-03T09:00:00.083-04:00

Hey look guys, it's yet another book about zombies being inserted into a crazy time period. This time it's Nazi Germany.....or actually Haiti during World War II. I have complained in Zombie History of the US that if zombie history books needed a future, then it has to do more than just to stick zombies into a time period without any context or style. Then somehow I get this e-mail about getting a review copy of Zombies vs. Nazis so I did and here we are. Let's see if this zombie book does better.

It's the time of World War II. It's still in the early stages so Germany is kicking everybody's asses and taking their territory. But the Germans are not one to be complacent so they send three inspectors into Haiti to learn the way of the zombie. The thought process is that if the Nazis control zombies then they would have an army that would truly be unstoppable and the Third Reich would truly last a thousand years with all of it's original members.

The book is all in communiques that the inspectors sent out to their superior officer with the exception with a brief preface from the author explaining what we're about to read(with very unnecessary snarky bits and it's in red so it's color-coded for your convenience!) and two unclassified US documents about uncovering these communique. And this is, by far, the smartest thing the book did. It keeps things terse, fast-paced and exciting. If it was written like a normal fictional narrative, the results would have been disastrous. It would've been Plague of the Dead all over again.

And then the book does a rather big mistake. The aforementioned preface is all about "Humans shouldn't meddle in raising the dead unless they want to be eaten" and then betrays that with the standard "Humans are Bastards" theme. On the surface they may be the same thing but one thing suggests that we're not going to have the old tired zombie cliche that humans are worse that George Romero has beaten to death, resurrected and killed again and the other thing....does. Guess which path the book goes?

Additionally, there's some illustrations in this book and quite a few of them. They're all bright, colorful and cartoony...and in the end, not very good. To me, it just seems half-assed and lazy. The backgrounds are just splashes of color with little attempt at creating anything there. The people are really blocky and two of them are rather samey. And it does the cardinal sin of mis-matching the images with the words since I thought one of the Inspectors was actually one of the Voodoo priests.

In the end, however, I do like this. It does do something more that just stick zombies in some time period and just let them do wacky hijinks. It's short, a very fast read and has some decent action. While it's doesn't really do much with a high-concept title like Zombies vs. Nazis it's still quite entertaining.

7/10

Click here to order the book from Amazon

The Wild Boys reviewed

2011-06-26T09:00:00.014-04:00

Usually when a band gets me to read a book....uh, actually that never happens. But it did when I saw Duran Duran's "Wild Boys" video which fired up my imagination with fire-breathing, a robot head and Simon LeBon almost drowning. So I picked up William S. Burroughs Wild Boys to see how awesome the book was.....it wasn't.

I think what happens in the book is that it's the FUTURE! War is happening for some reason and a animalistic tribe called, get this, The Wild Boys is running wild on civilization or what passes for it. At the middle is some guy wandering around doing stuff and seeing guys doing it with other guys. Some other stuff happens but I don't know what and it all connects to the Penny Arcade Peep Show where stuff happens that I don't know or care about.

Burroughs has a reputation of writing the first thing that came to mind and the story evolving from there...like free-form jazz. It doesn't work here at all. Nothing makes any sense, there's no actual cohesion and it all becomes an incoherent bore. I'll admit that it does have a couple cute ideas like this obsession with creating gay porn with GASP an actual story. There's also a cute section about the military and all of its military hijinks but that quickly gets sidetracked by all the homoeroticism in this.

Obviously there's nothing wrong with being gay or writing about homoeroticism but I do take issue with poorly written and repetitive homoeroticism. Here's how it all plays out. There's going to be two boys and through some pathetic excuse their pants come off. Then they get boners and a jar of vasoline magically appear and then they have sex. And it's all the same in all the sex scenes and there's gotta be ten of them at least. There's no foreplay, no blowjobs or handjobs. It's all boring sex.

And quite frankly, I think Burroughs has done much more damage to literature than Stephanie Meyer did with Twilight. At least we treat Meyer has a joke but Burroughs though, there's respect and worship for this moron. And all for his incoherent, poorly written spiel with a liberal dose of boring sex. Anyone who likes this book or Burroughs is a damn dirty hippie.

Watch the Duran Duran "Wild Boys" video, it doesn't suck.

2/10

That Other Song #7 - Psychedelic Furs

2011-06-22T05:57:00.001-04:00

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I'm a Heartbreak Beat and I wish I could be in the dark for this song.

Top 50 Games #36: Mischief Makers

2011-06-20T05:54:00.000-04:00

WHAT'S IT ABOUT:
On the planet Clancer where, everything has this weird face on it, Professor Theo and his robot Marina Liteyears are doing...stuff. But then, Theo gets kidnapped by the evil emperor and it's up to Marina to go and save him and then save him again when you do save him. The path to saving Theo isn't easy since the Emperor's lackeys, the Beastsector, who's out to stop you from saving Theo since they think you're out destroying Clancer.

WHY I LIKE IT:
This game has really stood the test of time. It looks great, it has some awesome music and voice-acting clips. The story is decent. And no matter what wacky hijinks are at play, story-wise or gameplay-wise, you always sense that the game plays fair and with enough practice you can eventually master it. It never gets too dull or too frustrating. This is a great game that deserves to be remembered for being amazing entertainment.

MY FAVORITE PART:
The final boss battle.

Read my review here.

Lego Harry Potter Years 1 - 4 reviewed

2011-06-19T09:00:00.060-04:00

As much I loved the first two Lego Star Wars and Lego Batman & as much as I loved the Harry Potter books and movies, I thought Lego Harry Potter would be a great match. It turns out I was wrong. In fact, I feel very apathetic when I was playing this. Oh sure, it's everything you expect but something just feels very off this time around. What do I mean? Come on and I'll discuss everything about Lego Harry Potter Years 1 - 4.

As you expect, it takes place during the first four Harry Potter stories. So there's the revelation that young lad Harry Potter is a wizard. Then he finds out that he's the only survivor during Voldemort's reign of terror and actually sealed Voldemort away for many years. But slowly and surely, Voldemort is regaining strength for another reign of terror. It's up to Harry Potter to stop him...eventually, but first he has to learn the value of friendship, learn the awesomeness of Quidditch, free his criminal uncle from Azkaban and kill all of Voldemort's cronies.

The game plays the same as the other Lego games. You go out and find some stuff to build into things that do some other things. That part is still really fun since you never really know what you're going to build. Sure, you have an idea but there always some surprises sprinkled in somewhere. Even if the rest of the game falters, which I'll get to in a second, it at least keeps the building blocks, pun intended, of what makes these Lego games fun.

HOWEVER, the world of Harry Potter simply DOES NOT fit in a Lego game. These games never actually have voice-acting or actual story, just remnants of a story. That doesn't fly in Harry Potter. Those books and movies are dense and filled with many subtle moments that come back full force in future installments. You don't get that with Lego Harry Potter and in fact, you won't get much out of anything. If you never read or seen Harry Potter, you will not know what is going on ever. There are some times where it can get by on Rule of Funny, and it is hilarious, but to have something as complex as Harry Potter over-simplified turns this into an incoherent/border-line chore.

There's stuff to like about Lego Harry Potter, don't get me wrong. It is funny, it is fairly entertaining when you're not thinking about the story but it's very lackluster. As much as I like building stuff in the Lego games and the fact that it captures the external pleasures of Harry Potter(stuff like the score and the look), playing the game actually felt like a chore. This is for Harry Potter or Lego completionists only. But I will give credit that it supports the Harry/Hermione ship....the superior shipping couple.

6/10

Mischief Makers reviewed

2011-06-12T09:00:00.047-04:00

In the land where 3-D Nintendo games were absolute king, one game dared to be 2-D. One game dared to get back to gaming's roots. That game was Mischief Makers. And all I saw of it when I was a child was a five-second clip in one of Nintendo's VHS promo thingys. But that was it. I was hooked and I knew I must play it when it was finally released. And I did and it has stuck with me for many, many years.

On the planet Clancer where, everything has this weird face on it, Professor Theo and his robot Marina Liteyears are doing...stuff. But then, Theo gets kidnapped by the evil emperor and it's up to Marina to go and save him and then save him again when you do save him. The path to saving Theo isn't easy since the Emperor's lackeys, the Beastsector, who's out to stop you from saving Theo since they think you're out destroying Clancer.

This game pretty much broken down into two areas, speed and grabbing things. Okay, it's mostly grabbing things since a couple levels aren't really speed based...but it does keep track of how much time you take to complete a level and grade you accordingly. You do want a high grade don't you? Anyways, grabbing things is the main focus of the game. You can grab pots, balls, people, flowers, cats, missiles and even lasers. There's an inventiveness to it when you can grab whatever you need to solve whatever problem you're in. And then you can shake things to make things do even more things! And sometimes make more things. Yes, I know this sounds horrifically silly but it really is much more fun than it sounds.

And when you're not grabbing things, you're fighting bosses....and they are hard. All you're stuck with is just grabbing things and occasionally getting a weapon. And while you will die a lot, it never really becomes frustrating. It's always fun since trying to find the what to do to hurt the boss is a bit of a puzzle. There's never really a time you'll get so mad that you throw the controller against something like the TV or the wall.

This game has really stood the test of time. It looks great, it has some awesome music and voice-acting clips. The story is decent. And no matter what wacky hijinks are at play, story-wise or gameplay-wise, you always sense that the game plays fair and with enough practice you can eventually master it. It never gets too dull or too frustrating. This is a great game that deserves to be remembered for being amazing entertainment.

9/10

That Other Song Episode #6 - Ying Yang Twins

2011-06-08T17:13:00.001-04:00

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There's a reason Ying Yang spelled Badd with two D's.

God of War III reviewed

2011-06-05T09:00:00.064-04:00

It had to happen. It had to happen eventually. All Kratos killed in the first God of War game was one God and a couple mythical beasts. The second game had Kratos killing off the rest of the beasts...and Icarus. So the only logical conclusion that one can surmise, if you never played the PSP games which I haven't, is that you start killing Gods...all of them. I guess in that regard God of War III doesn't disappoint but after the first two games, the series is getting a bit long in the tooth if they wish to continue the main series.

It picks where the second game left off where Kratos is commanding an army of Titans up Mount Olympus to kill Zeus and all who stand in his way. But shortly afterwards, the Titans pretty much tell Kratos that this is their war and Kratos has no part in it. Of course, being denied vengeance against Zeus pisses Kratos off and he's now making his way up Mount Olympus killing everyone and everything that gets in his way.

The gameplay and controls are very similar to the other games. The controls are still the same, the attacks are still the same and you kill people just the same. Granted that the controls have been perfect, there is no reason to change them. However, what has been improved are the weapons themselves. Sure, the other games had a secondary weapon but they were useless and I'm sure many of us just used the default blades but in III, your secondary weapons have a purpose. You won't use them very often, mind you, but you just can't ignore them either. Also, one weapon is much more powerful than the default blades.

Kratos, himself, no longer seems to VENGEANCE seeking person he was in II. Granted, he still wants to kill Zeus but instead of being all-vengeance all the time he gets back that little sparkle of humanity he had in the first game. He starts to care about the child Pandora, that Pandora from that box, and doesn't want her to die a horrible death, maybe in a bid to replace his daughter he killed. The problem is, it doesn't quite work. Not for the fact that it's half-assed but in the fact that is just doesn't seem natural. The game tries to explain it by having Hermes giving Kratos a Reason That You Suck speech before Kratos kills him but it doesn't seem to work in my eyes. Kratos is still at his best when he's yelling at people and then killing them though.

But the game does make one big mistake and that's at the beginning of the game where you're about to deliver an epic beat down on Poseidon. The game then switches to Poseidon's view so you watch Kratos's beat down of Poseidon through Poseidon's eyes. And what seemed so manly and badass now looks horrifically cruel. And I guess that's the point since Kratos usually does a lot of unnecessary cruel things to innocent people but since you're playing as him, I just found it awesome. But it did really suck the wind out of the games sails since I want have fun killing things in an unfeeling manner. Does that make me a monster? Probably.

This game is still good, the graphics are great and the voice-acting is entertaining. This game still does a lot of things right but at this point at time, it's really close to just going through the motions of yelling and killing. The ending does suggest a sense of finality or at least, if there's more games, a sense of a reboot coming up. The biggest problem of God of War III is that it has to follow up a masterful first game and a great second game.

8/10

Reality Bites Back reviewed

2011-05-29T09:00:00.064-04:00

We all know that Reality TV isn't as real as it says it is, just like the Safety Dance not being as safe as it said it was. There's been expose's, they're not even trying to hide when voice-over's are dubbed and even Hulk Hogan went into explicit detail about how Hogan Knows Best was made. It's safe to say that nobody really believes in the reality of Reality TV anymore. But I always like how Reality TV tries to trick us and I do like learning it's tricks which is probably why I got Reality Bites Back.

It's a book of two sides, on one side is stuff talking about Reality TV and about scriptwriters and that fun stuff. The author combed through and transcribed about 1000 hours of many such shows on the networks, VH1, MTV, Oxygen, Lifetime and a few other cable channels. Obviously, there's going to be a whole lot of commonalities between those shows. That leads to the second side of the book in which the author goes on about how those shows are indoctrinating the next generation on racism, sexism and I think health-ism.

On one hand, this is a blistering, searing and damning indictment of Reality TV especially America's Next Top Model and What Not to Wear. You will fear angry and it will be a justifiable anger. You will be angry on how far Tyra has manipulated ATMN to be a bastard shell of it's good intentions as it became all about Tyra...which should be obvious. You will be angry on how Tyra and her judges break down girls self-worth to fit their script. And then you will be angry at What Not to Wear and those other shows where all you need to be happy is to spend lots of money and crap you don't need. Then when somebody fights back, BAM, you're just cheap and hate yourself to damn much. Or we don't want you to be you anymore, we want you to be like everyone else. I'm almost ashamed of myself to actually watch and enjoy those shows.

On the other hand, while I hesitate to call this feminist propaganda since it delves into racism more than sexism, but barely, but it does suffer from sever author filibustering. When the author starts talking about The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire, or Flavor of Love it's pretty much "Oh woe is the world, they're being brainwashed in thinking white men could only love them and that black people are loud, rude & ignorant." She probably does have a point, but the way she talks she's only preaching to the choir. She's doing very little, if anything, to convert people to join that choir. She makes a token attempt at the end with what you could do to combat this like drinking games or Bingo but most of the suggestions come from other people. And it doesn't really go into Reality TV that much, it just uses that as jumping off point for her many filibusters.

This is something that wants to be important and it STRIIIVEESS to be important. There's so much we should be resisting on TV and it reveals so much on the ills, especially the luxury shows during the middle of a recession. It should be something great but the filibustering just gets so bogged down that it just brings the book down with it....shame.

6/10

That Other Song: From the Vaults Again

2011-05-25T06:22:00.001-04:00

Click to Play

Want to see my talking about Meat Loaf from a past video.....you do now!

Top 50 Games #37: Goldeneye 007

2011-05-23T06:00:00.000-04:00

WHAT'S IT ABOUT:
James Bond is out and about infiltrating a Soviet weapons factory. He meets up with 006 but the mission goes bad and 006 is killed but Bond escapes just in time. Nine years later, the world has changed and the Cold War is over. However, Bond goes back to Russia and discovers the plot of the Goldeneye Satellite that would unleash an EMP on the world and bring the British finances back down to zero. And who is the mastermind behind this evil plan...why 006 I mean Janus is silly.

WHY I LIKE IT:
The game has aged a bit, especially in terms of graphics with its five-sided faces but it's still a milestone of video game history and still a great game in its own right. The control scheme is fluid and natural. The missions are fun to play. There's a cheap thrill when you shot a chair and it explodes. This game still has it.

MY FAVORITE PART:
The boat level.

You can read my review here.

Goldeneye 007 reviewed

2011-05-22T09:00:00.058-04:00

In 1995 James Bond was back in Goldeneye, at the time the most successful Bond movie ever if you discount inflation which I do. Sure the plot was slow and it only spurted along instead sprinted like it should, but the villain was awesome, the action was good and Pierce Brosnan bought a sly charm to Bond. Then in 1997, the game adaptation by Rare came out and people were like "What movie?" Tomorrow Never Dies notwithstanding. It finally turned the First-Person Shooter into it's own full-fledged genre and we never heard the words "Doom-Clone" again.

James Bond is out and about infiltrating a Soviet weapons factory. He meets up with 006 but the mission goes bad and 006 is killed but Bond escapes just in time. Nine years later, the world has changed and the Cold War is over. However, Bond goes back to Russia and discovers the plot of the Goldeneye Satellite that would unleash an EMP on the world and bring the British finances back down to zero. And who is the mastermind behind this evil plan...why 006 I mean Janus is silly.

I think what got my attention first was the utter freedom of movement. In Doom and Wolfenstein you didn't have that freedom because you were using the D-Pad which was a bit cumbersome. But with the control stick and some good use of the C-buttons it showed the future of the FPS. There was freedom, you could glide, you could actually do some good strafing and actually do some precise aiming. There was a sense of exhilaration, a sense that you could do almost anything your imagination could allow you to do.

Another innovation was that this game forced you to actually think before you killed. You can't kill certain people since they have something you need, but you can kill them after they give it to you. You obviously can't kill innocent civilians or hostages, that's just bad. And of course, as much as we all want to, you couldn't kill Natalya since she was the main bad girl who wasn't evil. Granted, you didn't think too much as all supposed intelligence was "Don't kill this person or destroy this thing." but it was something that set it apart from Doom.

But what everyone remembers about Goldeneye 007 is the multiplayer. Sure, multiplayer existed in some other games like Bomberman, Secret of Mana and various sports, fighting & racing games there really wasn't a pervasive party atmosphere. It didn't really help since the 16-bit consoles only had two controller ports. But with the Nintendo 64 having four controller ports and use of split-screen, things drastically changed and it sprouted the seeds of the multiplayer phenomenon that Halo would then crystallized.

The game has aged a bit, especially in terms of graphics with its five-sided faces but it's still a milestone of video game history and still a great game in its own right. The control scheme is fluid and natural. The missions are fun to play. There's a cheap thrill when you shot a chair and it explodes. This game still has it.

9/10

The Godfather, the novel, reviewed

2011-05-15T09:00:00.060-04:00

In 1972, a little mafia movie made by a kinda-known but not really director who's greatest success was winning the Oscar for writing Patton was released to movie theaters. Of course, that little mafia movie was The Godfather and that director was Francis Ford Coppola and now you know the rest of the story. But there were two lingering questions, who was this Mario Puzo and why was his name above the title? A fool would answer that he co-wrote the Oscar-winning script with Coppola, which is true, but that doesn't answer the second question. Someone kinda knowledgeable would say that Mario Puzo wrote the novel in which the movie was based off. But only a knowledgeable fool would actually read the book and today, I am that fool!

If you read the movie or know anything about pop culture, then you know what the book is about. But in case you don't know, I'm going to tell you. Don Vito Corleone is a powerful and generous man, leader of the Corleone family, one of the Five Families in New York. He has his business and his family: sons Sonny, Fredo and Michael, adopted but not really adopted son Tom Hagen and daughter Connie. But things would not be as they are for long for a man called Virgil "The Turk" Sollozzo comes around asking Vito for start-up capitol for his drug business. Vito refuses and that decision leads to years of gang warfare, assassinations and exile.

Like the movie illustrated, Mario Puzo did craft an amazing story. The problem is that Mario Puzo isn't an amazing storyteller. The big problem is that Puzo gets way too descriptive for his own good. There's volumes and volumes of text to describe a simple thing like killing a guy. Some of the descriptions can get interesting but sometimes you're just thinking GET ON WITH IT. And then what he does describe is just plain gross and wrong. You see Puzo vowed that his next book, in this case The Godfather, would be a best-seller and Puzo went all out with the sex and violence. Some of the stuff is too out there even for my tastes and for the blog. After reading this book, you can safely say "I've read a book where such and such happened!" Whether it's with pride or with shame is up to you.

However, not all is bad and in fact there is quite a bit of good in the book. His storytelling needed a lot of work but his characters are as rich and vivid as they are in the movie. And this is the only time for Puzo's overly-descriptive descriptions work as it details everyone and the relationships between each other in a loving fashion. You do care about these guys just like we cared about them in the movie. Relationships are deep and fulfilling & there were a few times that I was choking down tears as some parts got especially heartwarming.

Sure the book may spin its wheels, it may have too many characters and it does get a bit gross but there's enough good in this for me to recommend. When the flowery prose does work it works very well and the characters are all great. Despite all the books flaws, on the whole it's not bad but remember that all the good parts are in the movie.

7/10

That Other song #5: aha

2011-05-13T16:08:00.002-04:00

Profuse thanks to Rubber Walrus for his post-production work.

Poor aha. They tried so hard not to be one-hit wonders and all it got them was a spot on my show.

Night of the Living Dead: Behind the Scenes reviewed

2011-05-08T09:00:00.044-04:00

In 1968 George A. Romero released the definitive zombie movie Night of the Living Dead. To say it changed things is a massive understatement. It has spawned a series with Dawn, Day, Land, Diary and Survival. It has spawned spoofs, rip-offs and even remakes. The horror world will be a lot more empty if there was no Night to kick the zombies into our faces. Which lead me to this behind the scenes book that had John Russo's original screenplay in it. How could I resist that?

And this book tells you everything that happened to make Night of the Living Dead happen and more. It tells the story on how George A. Romero, John Russo and a couple other guys were brainstorming ideas for a cheap movie since they were getting bored making commercials for Pittsburgh. At first it was supposed to be a comedy where aliens go to Earth and befriend American Teenagers...in America. But that was deemed too expensive so they went with a zombie movie that had them eating the living and now you know the rest of the story.

The book is really factual and academic. It's like an episode of A & E biography which can get long and dry but here it does work. This book goes IN-DEPTH in terms of production, getting the money and shooting the movie. They get interviews, past and present, with everyone involved and they really open up some insight on what went on. It's written in a clear, confident manner and while the author may go on his soapbox saying that the nothing anyone has done has ever bettered Night you do get where he's coming from.

But the real crown jewel of this is that includes John Russo's original script for Night of the Living Dead. It's great to compare who the original script would compare to the eventual movie. And quite frankly, there isn't that much difference. Sure, there's a bit more exposition, Ben is dumber and the zombie girl is a zombie boy but most of it remains the same. The script itself is a bit amateurish as to be expected but it does keep the movie balls-to-the-walls dread that made the movie worked so well.

If you love zombies, George A. Romero or even horror movies in general then this is a really good book for you. It's informative, it's smart, it has wonderful interviews with other horror directors and the cast & crew. It's a bit dry at times and it goes off in a couple weird tangents but it's still one of the best movie books that I own.

8/10

Empire reviewed

2011-05-01T09:00:00.040-04:00

Picking a favorite album for me is all but impossible. Having to sift through a mess of noise and words to determine what's the best mess is a daunting task. But if I had to pick one it would probably have to be Queensryche's Operation Mindcrime. With it's sweeping story, pounding riffs and being masterfully sung by singer Geoff Tate there is much to love about that album and I keep hearing new things and see new sides every time I listen to it. And then they released the follow-up Empire in which it contains Queensryche's only Top 40 hit "Silent Lucidity" which is a very good album but then again, it's still under Mindcrime's considerable shadow.

But it's not like Queensryche doesn't try. The band most certainly gives it their all with some great riffs and some amazing sounds. They even stretch how long their songs are with none of them being shorter than 4 minutes and it never becomes boring. Even when they do some sampling like the "black man" bit in the title track or the beginning of "Best I Can" it's only done when it'll make the most impact and it makes the album a bit better.

Of course, I would probably be beaten into a pulp if I didn't mention "Silent Lucidity". There's a reason for this, it's my favorite song from Queensryche. Now I know what you're thinking: That album wasn't in Operation Mindcrime how can that be your favorite song? Simple, Mindcrime mostly worked as an album rather than a collection of awesome songs. "Silent Lucidity" stands alone with it's sweeping orchestration, great albeit weird-dreamlike lyrics and an emotional vocal performance from Geoff Tate. It may be a ballad and it may be uncool to like the song everyone else does but there's a reason for it being so popular...IT IS THAT DAMN GOOD!

There's a couple blights on the album that does bring it down. Like I said before, Operation Mindcrime still looms strongly on Queensryche and a couple songs do sound like a couple of Mindcrime's songs. "Jet City Woman" pretty much charts the same course that "Eyes of a Stranger" charted and the beginning of "Anybody Listening?" has the same riff as "Electric Requiem". Also, why I do say the songs don't get boring despite their length there is some dead air and I do get impatient waiting for the next song to start.

Despite Empire's faults it's still a very good album. The riffs are still pounding and heavy, the drumwork is impressive and the production is lush and sweeping. With an album that contains such tracks like the title track, "Best I Can" and "Silent Lucidity" you can't go wrong with this. Just try not to compare it to Operation Mindcrime.

8/10