A co-worker said he tried to send me an email and when he typed in my name he got an error message that said, “That person no longer exists.”

I laughed and he said he had to go to the main office to inquire if I was still an employee.

As he walked away, I thought his error message was quite profound because in so many ways I feel like a new person who’s constantly looking for ways to show up differently in the world.

I want to appreciate my friends more and celebrate all the little thing I normally take for granted. Here’s an example.

Last week I flew to Vegas to spend four days with a couple of girlfriends. Normally I experience severe anxiety before boarding the plane and it gets worse just as the plane starts to take off. I sit in the isle seat because the thought of looking out the window makes matters worse. To cope I count the seconds I feel utter panic which keeps me from screaming like a lunatic until the plane levels off. I especially dreaded this trip because it wasn’t a direct flight, which meant two take-offs.

This time was things were different.

Before the flight I focused on how grateful I was to have this fabulous opportunity to spend time with two of my closest friends. I relished the idea of three days off work and the opportunity to enjoy warm weather in a place I’ve always wanted to visit.

Thinking these thoughts produced a calming spirit I’ve never felt before a flight. It gave me the courage to sit near the window and I didn’t feel a second of anxiety as the plane barreled down the runway. When it swiftly lifted off the ground I celebrated my new found courage and even looked out the window.

In that moment the old me didn’t exist. The new me stood (or sat in my case) courageous over years of torment and anxiety and it felt good.

A few days later I conquered another first – a successful Happe Life Club conference call.

You see, I’ve scheduled free conference calls in the past and it was normally a lonely experience because I was the only participant. I thought this might be the case this time but the new and improved Sheryl envisioned what it would be like to share an amazing hour with people who, like me, were willing to do whatever it took to make drastic changes in their lives this year.

That’s just who showed up on the call and we had a blast.

We shared our fears, our insecurities and our hopes for a better life. We comforted and coached and listened with an open heart and grateful spirit.

I can honestly say it was one of the best conference calls I’ve ever been a part of and I was once again grateful for the experience.

What I’ve learned this month is that when you share your passion it brings joy to people who really need it and that’s when the magic happens.

This has been one of the most rewarding months I’ve experienced in a long time because  I’ve made a conscious effort to live differently and I’m seeing amazing results. I’m much more focused on moving towards what I want and less interested in dwelling on what hasn’t shown up yet.

It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been well worth the effort.

What changes do you want to see in your life this year? What would you like to have accomplished by this time next year? It’s not too late to download the January worksheets and listen to the conference call. I promise it’ll be time well spent.

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Then I’d love for you to answer the following questions (Below are my answers):

What were your proudest moments?

Finishing my first 5k in November.

What seemingly impossible odds did you overcome?

Running over 100 miles this summer.

Whose life did you touch in a positive way?

Several clients who were struggling with difficult decisions. I helped them tap into their Internal Navigation System and do what felt right for them no matter what others thought or said.

List a few memories you’ll cherish a lifetime.

1. Crossing the finish line in my first race. 
2. Watching the Super Bowl outside in 82 degree weather in Sunny Florida.
3. Sharing my 50th birthday with my family and friends.

What lessons did you learn and who did you share this new found knowledge with?

1. My feeling determine what I attract in my life.
2. I get to choose who I invite into my life.
3. Love is always right here whenever I choose to see and feel it.
4. There’s a reason I let go of past relationships.
5. I can only control Sheryl and when I mind my own business I’m much happier.

I shared this knowledge with all the wonderful people who read my weekly blog and are my R U Happe Life Coaching, LLC Facebook page.

What gifts and talents did you share with the world?

1. Every week I write a blog and newsletter that helps people live happy lives.
2. Presented two workshops to an amazing group of Snowball students at local high schools.
3. Spoke to a local group of teachers on how to become a Happe Teacher and gave several stress reduction techniques.
4. Talked to a group of mothers on the change cycle and how knowing what to expect helps you successfully navigate through any change life throws your way.
5. Created several new programs to help my clients live happier lives.

List the times you fell completely in love with a person, a place, and an activity.

I fell completely in love with three new babies born into my family this year. Each one of them holds the hope and promise of living life the way it should be lived – happy and carefree and I look forward to seeing them all grow up and help make this world a better place. Fell madly in love with Curacao, an island in the southern Carribbean Sea. I fell in love with running and ran more than I’d ever thought possible.

Who did you forgive and how did that whole experience feel?

I forgave myself for thinking my ex-husband should be and do something different. Releasing all expectations and thoughts about what I think he “should” do left me free to parent my kids in a loving, non-judgmental way. It also helped me see that my way of thinking make me incredibly unhappy and once I chose to think differently I felt at peace with a lot of things.

This is how a happe life should be lived.

If you didn’t experience any of these things I urge you to look a little deeper.

Surely there was a time you achieved a goal and wished your arms were long enough to pat yourself on the back. I’m sure there was an instance when you whispered a silent, “Good job.”

I think we often loose track of all the good we do in the world and belittle our accomplishments. You may think it has to be something really big for it to count.

It doesn’t.

So take a few minutes this week to write down all the things you’ve done that have made you happy.

Then I encourage you to celebrate these accomplishments and do more of them.

When reflecting on the past it’s a good idea to start with the positive and then figure out how you can do, be and have more of that happiness in your everyday life.

I know I’ve experienced everything on this list. (see above for answers)

Doing this kind of an end-of-the-year assessment helps you see all the things you’ve done right because we’re so used to focusing on the exact opposite.

I’d also love for you to share your answers on my website so that we can celebrate all the collective happe things we’ve done and the incredible difference we’ve all made in our lives and the world.

Until next week,

Sheryl

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I went to a union meeting a few weeks ago and had a few thoughts about the negative conversations during the course of the meeting.

At one point the union president said he knew the teacher contract negotiations were going to be a knock down, drag out kind of a fight.

I wanted so desperately to tell everyone assembled that this didn’t have to happen.

I wanted to explain that it doesn’t have to be like that but I didn’t want to be labeled a crazy, happy seeking freak so I kept my little mouth shut and decided to share my thoughts in a different way.

I believe words have power and we get to choose thoughts that make us happy and bring us whatever our heart desires.

What if the final negotiating meeting went like this:

Union President: I’m so happy to let you know most of our demands were approved by the administration and the school board. They are giving us a generous raise for the next four years, cut the number of weekly professional meetings by half, will contribute to our retirement fund which equals a additional pre-tax savings, reduced our health insurance payments and created a happy teacher liaison to help us deal with all the stress we so willingly want to get rid of.

Teacher 1: Mr. President you’re kidding right?

Union President: You know I asked the Assistant Superintendent the exact same thing when he called me into his office this morning. He said they crunched the numbers last night and wanted to give us a contract we’d be happy to ratify. He also said the administration wanted to reward us for a job well done during the past four years and this was their way of thanking us and encouraging us to keep up the good work.

Teacher 2: What?

Union President: Exactly! We got everything we wanted and a few things that weren’t even on the table.

Teacher 3: How in the hell did this happen?

Union President: I have no idea.

Teacher 4: I know. Remember how we decided to approach the whole process differently before our first meeting? Remember how we listed what we really wanted and then one by one began to explain how we would feel when we received exactly what we wanted?

Remember how we all screamed with delight just imagining how exhilarated we would feel when it happened?

Union President: Yea, I remember. That was the most fun I’ve ever had before a union negotiation meeting. Every time things got a little tense I remembered how much fun we had and I felt very calm and in control.

Teacher 3: I just remember writing we got everything we want and a whole lot more over and over on my legal pad during the meeting. Just writing this made me look at things a lot differently.

Union President: Is that what you were writing? I thought you were taking the minutes of the meeting. I guess that explains why you seemed to have a permanent grin on your face.

Teacher 3: I didn’t know I was smiling. It just made me feel good.

I know you may think I’ve lost just a wee bit of my mind, but I haven’t.

Life can be just like that.

All you need to do is figure out what you want and then imagine how glorious it will feel having it or being it or seeing it like the teachers did before their big meeting.

Flowing some feel good energy to any situation makes a world of difference.

It ends war.

It heals the body and changes the molecular makeup of cells.

It reduces tension and calms the mind and body.

Research shows that when police officers enter a dangerous situation with a calm and relaxed demeanor criminals willingly surrender.

So how about you think about one thing in your life that you’d like to change and write how you would feel if everything worked out just the way you wanted it to.

Then you get to remember these feelings every time you start to fret or worry or feel troubled about that thing you just thought about.

Try it for a week and let me know how it works.

As for me I’m seriously thinking about sending this blog to the union president and the negotiating committee because it can really be just that easy.

Until next week,

Sheryl

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I realized the key to living in a constant state of happiness is managing my feelings.

It’s just that simple.

The first step is to catch the thoughts that cause anger, fear, loneliness and unworthiness – you know all the things you don’t want in your life.

One of the quickest ways to do this is to spend some time in complete peace and quiet in order to catch these thoughts.

Once you catch them you get to decide what to do with them. You can question them, believe them or continue allowing them to cause you pain.

I highly recommend the first option because it helps you see your thoughts for what they really are – ruminations in your head that you believe because they’re there. Most likely they’ve been there for a long time.

This all started with a decision to stop allowing my ex-husband’s words and actions to negetively affect my happiness. I decided to get out of his business and allow him to live his own life without my mental help.

In essence, I made a conscious commitment to focus on my business nad leave his alone.

This wasn’t easy, but the payoff has been tremendous.

When one of my kids share his insensitive comments or actions I share a loving gester and tell them that it’s okay and I’m here for them.

I remind them that he’s possibly going through a difficult time and I silently wish him love and peace and happiness.

The first time I shared my new philosophy with my son, he asked if I was feeling okay. I reassured him I was fine and explained that constantly focusing on what his father isn’t doing or how he refuses to be a source of constant love and support isn’t their business.

I told him how I decided to be a kind, supportive and loving mother and my life-long goal is to live in a constant state of love.

Living like this means I get to forgive people who have hurt me in the past. I get to wish them love and peace and joy. Then I get to move on.

I get to feel differently every time I think about them.

That’s the total opposite of what I used to feel – anger, resentment and fear.

Taking control of your life energetically means you don’t worry about what others are doing or saying.

It’s simply paying close attention to your life and what kind of experiences you’re welcoming into your world.

When I was angry with my ex I couldn’t feel how grateful I was for the wonderful adults I gave birth to so long ago. I couldn’t congratulate them on all the hard work they’re doing to accomplish their dreams. All I could see was that I had to do everything all alone and how unfair it was.

Shifting meant I get to be there for them in a way I never could be when I focused on what he didn’t say or do.

Now I get to be fully present for them and that’s freeing. I’m grateful for our time together creating new memories. I’m also grateful I get to model what real love looks and feels like.

Operating in this new state means I’m able to send loving energy to everyone in my life and that makes me happy.

Focusing on your life and your thoughts and your happiness can be difficult. And it’s so worth the effort.

Try it this week and let me know what happens.

Until next week,

Sheryl

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Have you ever questioned why they got to get the great spouse or fabulous house or high-paying job? If you’re anything like me, you have.

Here’s my story.

A few months ago I saw an ad in a magazine that featured a fellow life coach. She’s a wonderful person and an incredibly talented coach. Yet, I felt a bit jealous that she was right where I wanted to be. She was featured in a national campaign in a major publication.

She was somehow living the life I desired.

I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking these thoughts and feeling these feelings.

When the thought became visible (we have over 60,000 thoughts a day so it can be hard to catch the dirty little buggers) I decided to examine it under a microscope to discover if I really wanted what my friend had.

The process started with a few questions.

What do I really want my career and coaching business to look and feel like?

How do I want to help my people?

Do I want to reach my people the same way she’s reaching hers?

What I discovered is that I don’t want her life or her business.

I want something different.

I want to work with a few clients a month, write life-changing books, speak to a few groups a year and enjoy working from the comfort of my own home.

In that moment, the little green monster faded into oblivion and I felt relaxed and happy.

In this honest and transparent space I could be happy for my friend.

I could visit her Facebook page and leave an honest congratulatory message. After doing that something interesting happened.

I was overcome with an incredible sense of gratitude for the life I’m living right now. At that moment I knew I was where I belonged and doing what I needed to be doing.

It reminded me of an email I received from my dear friend Trish a few weeks ago. She wrote, “Imagine this…that someday you’ll look at where you are right now with a little envy that you weren’t as busy now as you will be, and think with regret at how you maybe didn’t appreciate your free time when you had it!  Keep goin’ girl.”

Her message brought tears to my eyes because I knew what she meant – enjoy your journey right now because soon it will be different. Cherish this moment and be happy.

How can I be envious of some else’s success when I’m surrounded by this kind of love and support?

I can’t.

I encourage you to keep an eye out for the little green monster this week.

Inquire.

Question.

Then allow the gratitude for all that you already have pour forth from unknown places like it did when I read the email from my dear friend Trish.

I truly believe you won’t get what you truly want until you can be grateful for what you already have.

Remember jealousy is just a sign that you’re focusing on what you don’t have instead of all that you do.

Take a few minutes today to look at your life in a completely different way.

What special gifts and talents do you bring to the table and how can you do more of that?

Then do it. Share it. Love it.

Before you know it your life will be filled with people you love, work that feels like play and experiences you’ll treasure for a lifetime.

That’s my goal.

What about you?

Until next week,

Sheryl

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What’s the gift?

It’s the precious gift of an extra 60-minutes.

I love this day and the idea of getting an extra hour to do something special.

Today I’d love for you to make good use of your precious gift.

I encourage you to spend your extra hour doing something that makes you deliriously happy. It could be reconnecting with a long lost friend, window shopping at your favorite mall, writing a thank you note to someone who makes you happy or compiling a list of all the things that make you happy. Then, the next time you decide to spend some happy time you’ll already have a list of things you love to do. Isn’t that genius?

C’mon, make good use of this special gift by getting extremely happy and keeping your yourself right there for at least 60 minutes.

The only requirement is that it causes you to smile so hard that your face hurts at the end of the hour.

I’d love for you to share your happy experiences as well.

Go ahead; get a little crazy and a whole lot happier all at the same time.

I can’t wait to read how you used your special gift to bring a little or a whole lot of happiness into your life.

Until next week,

Sheryl

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Your dreams actually begin materializing in the real world.

This, my friend, is the Promised Land.

It’s a place where everything you’ve ever wanted, hoped and wished for comes true. It can be as simple as thinking about something you’d like to have or somewhere you’ve always dreamed of going and it magically materializes in the real world.

You know you’re in square four when things start to work out for you. That dream job you’ve always wanted is yours. The perfect partner appears and is exactly like you’ve always dreamed they’d be. Your business is not just growing but sales are off the chart.

Welcome home my friend. This is the life you were meant to live.

Here are a few steps to help you during your tenure in the Promised Land:

Enjoy it for however long it lasts. You’ve just made it through a difficult time fraught with way too many twists and turns. Congratulate yourself for staying the course and sticking it out when you wanted to throw in the towel more than once.

Maintain a sense of gratitude and awe for all that’s happening to you and share your story with others if that makes you happy.

Continue to do what works by trusting you really know what works.

Last, but not least, know that you live in a world where the only constant thing is change. At any moment your world can change and land you right back in square one.

When I reflect on my life I see how I’ve navigated through the change cycle many times. I remember my square one experiences of going to high school, leaving home for college, moving to Chicago, going back to school and my first day teaching.

All of these changes were fraught with fear and I was forced to change who I was (a junior high school student, a high school senior, a resident of Washington, D.C., and a stay-at-home-mom) into something greater.

What I’ve learned is that going through each of these changes taught me valuable lessons on how to live a happy life and I wouldn’t change any of these experiences.

This week take a look at all the changes you’ve experienced in your life and reflect on your journey through each square of the change cycle. This kind of self-reflection confirms your ability to successfully travel through any kind of change that comes your way and contains valuable information on how to live a happier life no matter what.

Until next week,

Sheryl

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1. Square 3: The Heroe’s Saga I personally have a love/hate relationship with Square three. I...
2. Square 1: Death and Rebirth It’s fall in my part of the country. The leaves...
3. Square 2: Dreaming and Scheming I love square two. It’s fun and exciting and filled...

I love working towards a goal and I hate the setbacks. Through it all I’ve learned to keep moving forward. To do anything less means I’m stuck in the same old place thinking the same old thoughts. In other words, I’m not moving at all.

Sometimes there’s comfort in doing that – for a short period of time. It’s only by dusting off your rear end and getting back on the horse that gets you closer to achieving anything your hearts desires.

It takes inspired action. This simply means doing something that gets you just a hair closer to realizing your dream of living the life you really want to live.

The following explanation is courtesy of Martha Beck.

As your dreams become schemes, you‘ll begin itching to make them come true. This signals Square Three, the implementation stage of the change process. Square Three is when you stop fantasizing about selling your art and start submitting work to galleries, or go beyond ogling a friend‘s brother to having her set you up on a date. You‘ll feel motivated to do real, physical things to build a new life. And then… (drum roll, please)…you‘ll fail. Repeatedly.

I‘ve gone through Square Three many times, and watched hundreds of clients do the same. I‘ve never seen a significant scheme succeed on the first try. Re-forming your life, like anything new, complex, and important, inevitably brings up problems you didn‘t expect. That‘s why, in contrast to the starry eyes that are so useful in Square Two, Square Three demands the ingenuity of Thomas Edison and the tenacity of a pit bull.

Expect things to go wrong. Many of my clients envision a dream, formulate a

scheme, have an early failure, and consider this a sign that it just wasn‘t meant to be.

This is a useful philosophy if you want to spend your life as Person Soup. To become all that you can be, you must be willing to keep working toward your dreams even when your initial efforts are unsuccessful.

Be willing to start over. Every time your plans fail, you‘ll briefly return to Square One, feeling lost and confused. This is an opportunity to release some of the illusions that created hitches in your plan.

Revisit Square Two. Adjust your dreams and schemes to include the truths you‘ve learned from your experimentation.

Persist. Keep debugging and re-implementing your new and improved plans until they work. If you‘ve followed all the steps above, you’ll eventually get to Square Four: The promise land.

Take some time this week to figure out what teeny, tiny happe steps you can take towards living a happier life. It could be as little as calling your local community college for information on a class you’ve always dreamed of taking or as big as asking your boss for a raise. The bottom line is that you get to do something this week to move your life in the directions of your dreams knowing that it’s okay if it doesn’t turn out just the way you want it to. The failures, believe it or not, make you a better person. Please remember,  you’ll try and fail repeatedly… until you don’t.

Until next week,

Sheryl

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1. Square 2: Dreaming and Scheming I love square two. It’s fun and exciting and filled...

“For those of us who have just a few tiny control issues, Phase Two of the change process is as welcome as rain after a drought. This is when the part of you that knows your destiny, the imago in your psyche, will begin giving you instructions about how to reorganize the remnants of your old identity into something altogether different. The word imago is the root of the words “image,” “imagination,” and “magic.”

You‘ll know you‘re leaving Phase One and beginning Phase Two when your mind‘s eye starts seeing images, imaginary pictures, of the life you are about to create. These can‘t be forced like dissolving, they happen to you and they are never what you expected. You‘re becoming a new person, and you‘ll develop traits and interests your old self didn‘t have.

You may feel compelled to change your hairstyle or wardrobe, or redecorate your living space. The old order simply seems wrong, and you‘ll begin re- ordering your outer situation to reflect your inner rebirth.”

I love when clients go through this phase. It’s a clear signal that the healing process has begun and they’re moving towards living a different, more authentic, life.

Here are several ways to make the transition through square two a whole lot easier:

Cut out pictures in some of your favorite magazines that “speak” to you. Glue them into a blank artist journal. The result will be a visual image of the new life your heart desires to create. I did this several years ago when I was going through a difficult time and was amazed when I realized I had subconsciously chosen the exact wall color and furniture I had put in my journal in my new dining room. The interesting part is that I didn’t remember cutting out the pictures and gluing them into my journal.Your only goal is to have fun daydreaming. It’s okay to imagine living a different life.

Giving yourself permission to do this makes the healing process go a whole lot faster because you’re able to “see” what you want long before you experience it in real life. Take a few minutes to relish your new make believe world. Really get into the experience of living a brand new life.Have fun trying on new clothes, jewelry and makeup. Share this fun experience with a few friends and by all means take pictures to commemorate your new look.

It’s really about being open to new and interesting things. I remember a time when I thought I was too old to wear large hoop earrings. After taking a few  pictures I realized my thoughts were completely wrong and immediately purchased two new pairs of earrings.  This one little thing continues to make me happy and I feel quite fashionable every time I wear them.

Before you know it you’ll start to move from dreaming (thinking about this new fabulous life you want to live) to scheming (taking concrete action to make these dreams come true).

Your job here is to keep a written record about what you want and how you will feel once you have this object of your desire. Please don’t try to figure out how you’re going to get these things. It’s not time for that.

Square two is only about giving a voice to your heart’s desires and allowing yourself to feel how great it will be to have them in your life.

One of the best parts of square two is that you get to create new images of how you want your life to look and feel. The really good part is that you can do this anytime.

Take some time this week to imagine a different life filled with things and people that make you extremely happy. Then you get to find a few pictures that represent these thoughts and feelings.

I bet before long they’ll magically start materializing in your life.

Until next week,

Sheryl

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Steve Jobs, one of the founders of Apple Computers, passed away a few days ago. I, like millions of other, was saddened by the news.

I felt like I knew him, but I didn’t. I knew his products and the special way he introduced them to the world. He had a unique way of making us feel like we had to have the new and improved version of every product he launched. And I believed him because I own a lot of them.

His passion for creating new and improved was his passion and his calling.

This is what he was born to do. How do I know this to be true?

Simple.

He excelled at it.

He was passionate about it even after he was forced to leave a company he loved and created.

Many people were saddened that he died at such a young age. I wasn’t because it was his time to go. He had done all he was supposed to do.

Will I miss his amazing product launches?

Of course.

It’s just that I somehow understand that he did just what he was born to do. He started early and had great success. Did he innately know he wouldn’t live a long life? I have no clue. What I do know is that he made goods use of the time he had.

That’s the lesson I that came to mind when I heard he died and I felt compelled to share it with you this week in hopes that you can start looking at your life a little differently and begin listening to your inner voice that wants to help you live a happier life.

You only get a finite amount of time here and it’s your job to use all of your unique gifts and talents in a way that makes you happy. When you’re doing this you also makes the world a better place. Here’s an example.

Last week I gave a presentation to close to 60 teachers on how to manage stress and be happe. I loved every minute I spent creating, rehearsing and delivering my 30-minute presentation.

It was fun and I had a blast. I also received incredible feedback about how my words helped several teachers in someway. This made me extremely happy and motivated me to look for other opportunities to share my love of happiness with more groups.

I’d like for you to spend some time this week thinking about what you really love doing and then figuring out a way to do more of it.

This, my friend, is your gift to the world.

The world wants your gifts and it needs your one-of-a-kind ideas.

I guarantee doing this will make you happier than you’ve ever been before.

It worked for Steve.

It worked for me too.

Until next week,

Sheryl

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