Rabbit On The Run

MONSTER 2.0

2011-12-27T17:18:00.000-08:00

"Girl, you look good enough to eat." - Lady Gaga Well, this is my farewell post. My transition to MY NEW BLOG The Rabbit has run his course and we've accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. It's time to pack up, say goodbye and move on to the big leagues. You'll never grow until you challenge yourself. Never stop growing. -JMBooze

Hello

2011-11-25T15:12:00.001-08:00

"Hello! Is anybody listening? Let go, as everyone lets go of me.. Won't somebody show me that I'm not alone, not alone?!!" - Kelly Clarkson 'Hello'

There are people in this world who are known for their astounding ability to win at everything. They just have to pick a goal and go and universal blessings walk out to meet them. I am not one of them.

It takes me twice as long, working twice as hard to accomplish half as much.

Maybe this means I've just been barking up the wrong tree. Maybe I've been so busy going in circles to notice the open door leading to my destiny. I know I'm abrupt and it takes a long time to get my feet settled on the ground. I'm just not sure what I'm fighting for anymore. At the core, I came back to Oregon to make things right and find closure from the past so that I could move on. Has it happened? What now?

It's been a long month.

Big White Room

2011-11-16T18:25:00.001-08:00

“Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you ever let go of everything holding you back for just a moment and ran through the rain - yelling "YES!" Have you ever done something so perfect that in an instant you were inspired; not by other people's achievements but by your own? Coming to that moment is the next chapter of my life.

My first step is to build a new image. To capture the side of me that can get me to my dream career and place him headfirst in the spotlight. I've taken the steps to get back into school and on a path that has some direction and now I need to make the most of it. I need to take the next big leap.

Things are good but they can be better. I'm in a place where what I want is clouded by what I never had, the things I need distracted by the things that I don't believe I deserve, and the person I want to be is held back by the person I believe I have always been. This can change.

It's time to take inventory of my life. What do I have and what do I want? Who is in my life that I can hold on to and who should I let go of? I need to get clear about my career and take the steps to get there. Life is all about building and holding onto your image. People will forget the past if you let them. I've locked myself away for long enough, let's go grab some spotlight.

Paris Nights, New York Mornings

2011-10-19T16:17:00.000-07:00

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost

So the plans have been made, the goal is set. Paris in May!

I'm extremely excited about this, so much so that I am shaking and its hard to keep still. I have to keep reminding myself that this only works if I keep up my stuff in school and stick it out in Eugene. It's good to have a goal like this, something big enough to make you get up in the morning and want to move forward. I want to do my best here so that when I go, I'll be that much stronger and more prepared.

There are so many logistics involved with this plan and coordinating them all is a field maze of bureaucracy. Money, for the first time, is the least of the issues. Now I have to figure out a way to balance out the many areas of my life and leave it in the hands of God. Make the plan, do the work and don't get attached to the results.

-JMBooze

Death

2011-10-12T16:13:00.000-07:00

"If you can't sing, sing louder. If you can't dance, dance some more. If you can't act, act like you can. Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do." - JMBooze

So last night while meditating, I pick up my tarot cards randomly and this is the card that falls into my hand. Death. Needless to say, my day has been a little clouded. I've been jumping at shadows waiting for the other shoe to fall. I guess I'm more than a bit superstitious and I put a lot of faith into such an arbitrary practice.. still I can't help wondering what next?

Instead of hiding from it though, I realized how much stronger I have gotten. I went to my classes, got my haircut, ordered new glasses, purchased a few shirts and scarves from London's New Look, and I bought some shoes, colored contacts and some much needed food. When that ugly skeleton of change comes knocking, I'll be ready.

This is October, the month of Samhain - it is the perfect time in our lives to celebrate new beginnings. This month's changes are going to last. I am ready for this. Ready to choose my path as much as humanly possible. Today I go from another victim of life to being an architect of my own destiny. Over the top? I am fighting for my dreams - damnit!

I deserve nothing less than the best.

-JMBooze

Pinocchio (Miracles are the Norm)

2011-10-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

"I promise you, I'm always there when you're heart is full of sorrow and despair. I'll carry you, when you need a friend.. you'll find my footprints in the sand." - Leona Lewis

Jim "Jimmy" Wilson is my mentor. More than that, he is my spiritual father, my guru and what you might call my spirit guide. Although we don't always see eye to eye, he has always been there to offer his hand and to cover me with his wing. He has watched me sink and swim again and again these last few years and is one of the only people in this world that truly believes I can accomplish greatness.

My life has been no doubt interesting. Matters of life, economics and social class have dealt me a hand I never would have asked for. Like Pinocchio dancing on Geppetto's strings, I've let the universe mold and control me. It's silly. With all the amazing potential of the human spirit I have pretty much forgotten my number one spiritual belief - Life is what you make it.

So like Jiminey Cricket whispering in my ear, Jimmy has returned to my life with a simple message. "What kind of life do you want and how are you going to create it?"

No excuses. No bullshit. When you meet with Jimmy, you better be prepared to push. He has outbursts of rage, stubbornness and this tendency to bear to down on you like a hammer. I've seen grown men and women cry as he has tried to push them to be their very best. Who am I kidding, I've been one of them more than once. Still, he exudes a type of love and light unparalleled in this world.

So the message of my story is this. Listen to your inner(and sometimes outer) spirit. Close your eyes and imagine your life the way you want it to be. Be prepared to do the work. You never know what is waiting around the corner.

Deja Vu

2011-10-03T17:09:00.000-07:00

"These tears feel so familiar, I guess I've already been here. Walking home alone in the rain again. Oh yeah, I remember this pain again. I already fell for another you, so I'm not living my life in deja vu." - Deja Vu by Jonoton Marcus Booze

In this blog I've talked a lot about some of the issues I've had to overcome this last year to get out of my uncle's house, away from my broken dreams, and back in school. There is a lot that I keep abbreviated because I don't want to sound too desperate or unforgiving. Life throws a lot of twists and turns and I've only barely kept my head above water. Without the grace of God, I wouldn't be here.

One of my newest hobbies this year is songwriting. It's an amazing way of getting my emotions out of my head and to feel empowered in the process. Luckily, I have something to write about.

This week I was disappointed when someone I thought I was starting to know hurt me and left me crying in the rain. Definitely wasn't a broken heart, but had many familiar traits. I spent a few days wondering what I did wrong, how I could have fixed it, but what it comes down to is that(for once) it wasn't my fault. Some people unintentionally do asshole-like things and we get hurt in the process. The strong heart rises above the drama, forgives the trespasser and learns the lesson hidden by God in the details.

I'm not quite there.

I can say that there is so much love and bliss in my life, this has barely scratched the surface. I guess I really am tougher than I was yesterday.

Meanwhile in the world, we are seeing some of the largest protests in modern-day history. We're witness to 79 states protesting the American financial institution with over 5,000 people on the streets of New York City alone. The Brooklyn Bridge was shut down by protestors yesterday and hundreds were arrested. This is a long time coming and everyone involved has my full support. It's hard lately, not being there.. but I know I'll do more for the world staying where I am and accepting the challenges that are mine to face today.

"We are the 99 percent. We are getting kicked out of our homes. We are forced to choose between groceries and rent. We are denied quality medical care. We are suffering from environmental pollution. We are working long hours for little pay and no rights, if we're working at all. We are getting nothing while the other 1 percent is getting everything. We are the 99 percent."

OCCUPY WALLSTREET!

-JMBooze

Return of the Quack

2011-09-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

"Obscurate nos non diutius."

School started today. Fall has officially settled in.

I'm ready - I think. Things have definitely changed in such a short period of time and I guess I have to congratulate myself just a small bit. I did it. I'm back in school. I worked, worked worked this last year and its starting to pay off. I have my classes loaded, a new job at the Buzz coffeehouse, all my extra curriculars set up and I'm feeling confident.

It all started here, on this page, when my spirit was crushed and I was looking for a way out. I thought I could go backwards and rewrite the past. I thought I could save my relationship. I was naive.

Now I have something to live for. I'm not looking to impress the un-impressionable. I have a wide circle of friends, loads of experiences I never would have had and I'm actually excited for the first time in a LONG time to see what is waiting for me down the road.

I have no doubt, that this is only the beginning.

Love You Like A Love Song

2011-09-11T11:31:00.000-07:00

I wanted to try something new and exciting, so why not?

Make sure to pay special attention at 0.22 in the video! Look familiar? Life's too short to take it the slow route.

Mr. Know It All

2011-09-09T17:23:00.000-07:00

"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it." - Sir Winston Churchill

I hate when people assume to understand the motivations behind my actions.

This week someone came to me and told me that I need to change my behaviors. They began to berate me with their mightier-than-thou air and look down on me despite my clear "elder" status age-wise. At first I just felt hurt, as if I let them down.. but after just a few minutes alone again I realized just who the hell do they think they are?

I've spent over 20 years with myself, I think I know "me" pretty well. They've known me for just a few weeks. No one has the right to tell another person who they should be, no matter who they are. Keep your judgments to yourself. There is no possible way for you to understand what I have had to overcome in the last year and even if you did; I am pretty happy with the person I have grown into over the last few years. I am a hard worker and I live my life by my values alone.

So this video I dedicate to you - Mr. Know It All.

-JMBooze

2011-09-07T23:46:00.000-07:00

She touched me. Enough said.

And Yes! I took this picture. zOMG!!!!

Highway Unicorn

2011-09-06T17:01:00.000-07:00

"We can be strong out on this lonely run on the road to love." - Lady Gaga 'Highway Unicorn'

Sometimes we need to chase that dream.

The highway from Eugene to Portland is an easy metaphor of my life this year. So much has happened, twists and turns and not all of it was for the best.. but some things are incredible. I'm exciting to start this school year the right way with Ethos Magazine, DMS, and potentially rushing Lambda Chi - all these things I couldn't have even imagined a few months ago. It's a rush.

Today I'm in Portland waiting to see Taylor Swift! I'm sooo freakin' excited and grateful to the friends that helped me with this one. Probably more than any artist I listen to,TSwizzle is all about overcoming a broken heart and staying true to who you are. She represents not giving up despite being crushed again and again.. and literally throwing yourself headfirst.

Last time I saw her was with the ex and honestly that was another life. I know I'll be crying tonight. Bathing in my broken heart memories, but its okay! That's what they are for, remembering the past and learning not to repeat similar mistakes!

PS. Someone just walked in with a TAYLOR SWIFT teeshirt on!! I'm FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Life is wonderful. Explore it.

-JMBooze

Wise Words

2011-08-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

A close friend sent this small snippet of an email I wrote to him in April or May. Wise words that are a reminder of where I've been and how far I've come. What do you think?!:

Yet, there are a million and one things to be grateful for that I didn't have a few short months ago. It's a beautiful blue sunny day today and I feel like I'm re-energized. My friends are so wise, wiser than I ever was, and everyday they teach me that its okay to relax once in a while. I'm pretty uptight, but its nice to have friends that can make me smile.

The lesson right now is in learning to sustain my smaller dreams. This is as important as manifesting them. If I can handle the small things, the big things will be a piece of cake. I know my dreams are coming true, I've never been in this position before. I honestly think all I have to do is wait life out.

- JMBooze

Living In Dignity

2011-07-26T17:08:00.000-07:00

“Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.” - Winnie the Pooh

This week is the final week of Ethos for the summer. The prints won't be published and distributed until September, but still it's exciting.

I'm really happy I got the chance to work on a project like this. I know I didn't reinvent the wheel or anything, but this is what I actually enjoy doing. The chance to create something out of nothing..

It'll be hard to go back to summer. I don't really enjoy having too much free time. It makes me lazy and it's difficult to find motivation to get out of bed. I'll have to look for a new project. I know a non-profit for homeless youth here in Eugene could use some volunteer work for their web design. That could be interesting..

It's definitely time to get back to work with reevaluating my goals for the summer. I need to get back into shape and more importantly, back into dance. I need to plan out where this money will eventually go so that I don't blow through it and hopefully make a dent in my little bit of debt.

We can't always control what is going to happen next, but even I have to roll a hard six eventually.

4 Months Later.

2011-07-11T22:20:00.000-07:00

"Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure." - J.K. Rowling

What's new? My new apartment next to campus, my new position working as a Designer/Illustrator for Ethos magazine, my renewed status as a student, and a multitude of new, exciting friendships. It's been a healthy last couple of months.

I don't want to just throw the word "miracle" around, but for the people who have been watching closely - what other word defines it? I finally have the freedom to embrace life. I'm not overwhelmed by emotion, not wandering the streets, and I'm not desperate for a second chance.

This is the next chapter..

Change

2011-05-19T16:37:00.000-07:00

"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." - Mark Twain

Things are changing faster than I expected and I realized that I'm not doing the best job keeping up with this blog. That's alright. I give myself permission to do what I want when I want. As long as I never forget where we began.

I started a new Wordpress Blog at With A Broken Wing. It's a photo blog, one picture a day to capture the moment. It's a nice idea. So far I'm loving the way its turning out. Sometimes we need easy projects to help prepare us for the bigger ones.

I should say that everything isn't exactly perfect. I'm still struggling emotionally just to keep a smile on my face in the morning. Yet, there are a million and one things to be grateful for that I didn't have a few short months ago. It's a beautiful blue sunny day today and I feel like I'm re-energized. My friends are so wise, wiser than I ever was, and everyday they teach me that its okay to relax once in a while. I'm pretty uptight, but its nice to have friends that can make me smile.

The lesson right now is in learning to sustain my smaller dreams. This is as important as manifesting them. If I can handle the small things, the big things will be a piece of cake. I know my dreams are coming true, I've never been in this position before. I honestly think all I have to do is wait life out.

It's like God is teaching me how to win a staring contest. Don't blink. Stand your ground. The last spirit standing after the storm wins.

-JMBooze

I AM.

2011-05-10T19:26:00.000-07:00

“The Power of One: Ghandi, Mandela, Mother Teresa … everybody has the Power of One. Just do something.” – Desmond Tutu

This post is inspired by the movie "I AM." If you haven't heard of it or haven't seen it, do. Everything you need to know is in the title.

When you are inspired it is easy to say you have changed. Then in the name of change we can justify all our actions, whether they be for good or ill. Humans are quite talented at justifying even our most despicable acts.

I think I forgot for a second what I was fighting for. I began the journey of reinvention for a reason. I took the steps to get back into school and fix what's been broken so that I would no longer be a burden on this world.

I have results. I have become the man I've been missing in my life. I've started to inspire myself every day with my adventures. I have made incredible friends. I have opened myself up to possibilities. I have actually made a difference in my own life and may very well make a difference in someone else's one day.

I have started on a path to success. I can't forget the reasons behind it all. Every day I get a little closer and I have to make the promise not to forget the people I might be leaving behind. They are the ones who gave me the push I needed to change.

They are my guiding light to a better world.

“Critical thinking followed by action. Each of us must do something that makes our heart sing.” - Elisabet Sahtouris, Ph.D., evolution biologist, quoting the Dalai Lama, when asked what should be done.

So hear is my advice to you. If you want to change the world, change the way you look at it.

Life is not a competition. Competition, "Survival of the Fittest" mentality, only serves to leave you alone and confused. So help the people around you. Realize that every action has a consequence and will spark some kind of reaction in the people around you; family, friends and even complete strangers.

Your choices matter. Your actions matter. Whether you give solid loving advice or push people away, it matters. There is no such thing as a small act.

Be Fearless. Live the Life of Your Dreams.

“God says, ‘You know what? I don’t have anybody else except you.’” – Desmond Tutu

-JMBooze

Power of the Spoken Word

2011-05-04T14:30:00.000-07:00

"It gets better." - www.itgetsbetter.org

The difference between what we say and what we mean are the actions we take. I may say I care about you, but if all I do is hurt you than what I really mean is that I wish I could care about you. The same is with your goals. I can say I am an action-oriented man that consistently meets my goals, but is that what I mean? Do I really meet my goals or am I waiting until some "better me" magically appears and makes things happen.

Don't wait on change. Figure out who you are, who you want to be, and then go be it. If you can be a person who is honest with their words and honest with your actions, than there is no doubt that you will have succeeded in life by all possible standards.

Don't worry, it get's better.

-JMBooze

National Dance Week

2011-05-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

"A place is only as good as the people you know there."

Wow. What an incredibly complex week this has been. I'm not sure where I'm going to take this post, but first of all I want to dedicate it to the victims of 9/11. May you rest in peace.

Now yesterday was the end of national dance week and I just want to say it felt so incredibly amazing to get back into the game. I got a chance to dance with two incredible teachers in Hip Hop and Improvisation. My muscles were worked to the maximum.

National Dance week is a nation-wide event where most places offer free classes to the general public. It started in San Francisco(go figure) and spread rapidly across the states. If you've never had a chance to participate before but have been dying to dance, it happens every year at the end of April.

I was offered the chance to join the Duck Street Dance Team at the University of Oregon as well. I really want to participate but I don't think I'll be able to this term. I'm still extremely conflicted about changing schools to PNCA so we'll just have to take it one day at a time. University of Oregon really is an incredible place to go to school and I have a ton of connections.

This weekend will also be Mallard Madness, a huge 5-day event at the University with a ton of concerts to attend.

Other than that - Lauryn Hill will be coming to Eugene for an outdoor concert. How exciting is that? Nothing like a night of soul to remind us to love fully, with an open heart and never forget to be honest with ourselves. Don't ever let yourself live a lie.

You deserve the best life has to offer.

-JMBooze

A Royal Engagement

2011-04-28T18:40:00.001-07:00

"Every wedding is a royal wedding" - the Bishop of London

It is entirely possible that never again in our lifetime will we experience what we did today with the Royal Wedding of HRH Prince William and Kate Middleton. Flawless is the word I would use to describe it. An expression of love heard all around the world unlike anything we have seen before.

I'll spare you the exact details of how immense this occasion was with its 2 BILLION viewers across the globe or the massive impact this has on pop culture and society today. Just remember that the new face of the English Monarchy is part of our very own generation. We have reinvented what it means to be royalty to better suit our modern times.

This was definitely the wedding of the People.
My advice, never ever give up on Love.

-JMBooze

Not Perfect, but Baby I Was Born This Way.

2011-04-26T23:38:00.000-07:00

If you wanna stay, Just stay. But if you wanna go, If you wanna go, Just go. Go far away, Go far away. -Joy Williams

I believe that change has to come from the heart to make any lasting impact on our lives. Whether it is about getting over that painful breakup, starting again on your long lost dream, or simply waking up every day with a smile on your face.

Tonight I learned a valuable lesson - I haven't changed in my heart. I want to fix things with "him" so badly that I would sacrifice my self-respect, my strength and dreams just to be heard. I would chase him down to the end of the road like a mad man with a sharp knife screaming "I LOVE YOU"! Can you blame anyone for backing away from that? It's okay to be a little crazy, but.. there is definitely a limit.

My greatest fear is the what if? What if we aren't together tomorrow? What if he never learns that my dreams came true or that it all ended somewhere while thinking of him? What if he forgets about me and never remembers that he made my eyes light up like no one else had ever done before? What if.. what if.. what if..?

Look at the bright side. The great thing about being dumped is that the opinions of your ex's officially don't matter. You are free to go be whoever you want to be. No judgement. No fear. Become a starving artist? A famous businessman? Travel the world and never look back. It won't be easy, but if you believe in your heart that the time has come, its easy to leave the past behind you.

The trick is to turn your pain into a spring board. Stop comparing yourself to the person who left you. I'm sure they were great, but you can always be better. Being hurt is the first sign of an open heart. That's a gift no man, no experience, no fear can ever take away from you.

Now go change the world in your image. Your pain is a sign of your strength and your strength is what makes you beautiful.

Be beautiful.

-JMBooze

He's Just Not That Into You.

2011-04-25T16:53:00.000-07:00

"If a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions!" - He's Just Not That Into You

Waiting around for love and happiness can be a prison sentence. Sensitive folk will lock themselves in their rooms just waiting for their lives to change. They'll sit by the phone, stay up late, patrol their email endlessly, and stalk good-for-nothings that once upon a time made them smile. They will literally do anything and everything to fight for something that was never there to begin with.

That is where the trouble begins. Love and Happiness are celebrities. They are too busy flying across the world signing autographs and being stalked by the media to ever come knocking on your door out of the blue. It's never going to happen.

You'll wind up spending your whole life waiting for things to get better.

It takes action - Responsibility and her cousin Maturity. You have to walk away from the losers in your life and accept that its always better to be alone than to play someone else's game. Find your muse, your dreams and chase after them. Not tomorrow, not when the time is right.. today. Get up out of your dungeon of despair and make something happen for yourself.

The trick is knowing that it won't all come at once. It takes more than one step in the right direction to reach a place of self-esteem. Don't give up. Make big messy mistakes, cry on your best friend's shoulder, scream at the top of your lungs, jump on the hood of his car, make an ass of yourself again and again - always forgiving yourself for not being perfect and never expecting more than what is your best for right then.

I promise one day, either a week, a month, a year, or a decade from now, you'll wake up and realize that you stumbled your way into paradise. Sometimes that's the only way for it to happen.

-JMBooze

Recede With Caution

2011-04-23T14:44:00.000-07:00

"We live and we learn to take one step at a time. No need to rush. It's like learning to fly or falling in love, its gonna happen when its supposed to happen and we find the reasons why... one step at a time." - Jordin Sparks

I'm tired of Fear. Sadness. Doubt. Misery. Let's keep looking up instead, shall we?

I love the Spring, chasing down butterflies with a net and blowing bubbles. I love the themes attached; gardening, planting the seeds and starting anew. Once in a while I forget how beautiful Oregon is, how much it has to offer someone with an open heart. In times of pain and loneliness, the only answer is to sit down and cling onto something beautiful.

Take one goal, one thing of importance and throw yourself into it. For me it is getting into the Pacific Northwest College of Art for Fall term. It's been decided. Now I just have to fill out the paperwork.

Not everyone has the energy to accomplish their greatest goals first. Instead, focus on a few short ones. My goal was to finish my crocheting my first scarf in about 6 years, and I did it in three days! I'm working on my next one. It doesn't take much. Give yourself the chance to do something wonderful.

-JMBooze

They Aren't Rules Until You Decide to Break Them

2011-04-21T13:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Society,

You don't know me, but I know you well. When the time is right I will come at you from every side and you will shout "Who does that boy think he is?" and "Where the hell did he come from?"

It is hard to explain how fast my life is changing and in what ways. Yesterday you called me 'troubled youth' or 'too smart for his own good', today it was 'country bumpkin from the streets of Oregon', and tomorrow it will be nothing less than 'F#$kin' A$$hole!!!'.

I recognize your hate. I'll remember your bigotry.

This is my one and only warning. The day is coming when you'll know my name, and you'll know it well. You'll be proud to count me as one of your number. I bet you'll even forget to mention the days when you wouldn't even take the time to answer my call.

This is your last chance. Hit me with the best you've got while you still can. Hit me with your disapproval. Hit me with your rage. Hit me with the ugliest, bawdiest names you have. Shoot me down before I have the chance to rise up and strike back.

Whatever you do, just don't miss.
I'm ready.

-White Rabbit

Even now I know...

2011-04-18T16:11:00.000-07:00

...whatever you ask of God, God will provide.

Unbound Magazine is an art magazine dedicated to providing students with a place to get their artwork published outside of the restrictions of paper and the classroom. This is where I will be working while I attend the University of Oregon. I will work in the art division of the magazine and help with the design of fliers and media while grading art submissions. Cool, huh?

It's wonderful how networking can take your entire life and throw you into a world you never even considered. Art editor for a digital magazine is not something I ever saw myself doing, but it turns out its right up my alley. I get to work in an area I love and accomplish something both solid and measurable.

I'm pretty darn happy.

-White Rabbit