Expert at Nothing Yet

New site!

2015-03-11T22:54:00.003-04:00

Check out my new website at www.ohthatrachel.com!

Moving on!

2013-03-31T20:57:00.002-04:00

March 7th, 2013 was a busy but awesome day. Why?

1. I saw Dragonnette and Major Lazer in concert and it was AMAZING to say the least.

Hurrah for terrible cell pics!

2. My friend Celeste Anderson won King of the Nerds!

Andrew, Celeste, & I!

3. And finally, I received a written offer from my new position... that I start tomorrow! My feelings:

Obviously I am super duper excited about the new position but I will miss all of my friends and coworkers at NeoNova! I really enjoyed my time there and everybody I worked with, so it was a difficult leave. However, I am ready to get started at my career, so here I go.

Thank you everybody for the support!

Connecting the Environment

2013-03-24T18:53:00.001-04:00

My best friend and former roommate introduced me to environmental issues by letting me tag along to the first officer's meeting of Roots & Shoots at NC State. The club primarily focuses on animal conservation, however animal conservation is only possible with respect to environmental and human issues as well. Throughout the year I learned about many political, environmental, and of course, animal topics that I had never given much thought about.

Roots & Shoots and a couple other clubs cleaning out Lake Raleigh.

However, one thing always bothered me. Everyone always glances over environmental issues and global warming as though they aren't as big of a deal. Animal and human issues get a lot of press and generally are considered positive to donate or to support. Environmental issues on the other hand come with a passive or even negative connotation, with terms such as "tree-hugger" associated with those who support the causes. Honestly, environmental activists seem more annoying than other activists. But are they really?

I've noticed two things about environmental groups compared to other activist groups that make them seem less sympathetic and gain less momentum: who they place the blame on and having a "face."

Blame

The nice thing about other causes is that there is generally someone or something to blame. If only we could defeat x then the issue will be resolved. Whether it is governments, diseases, or a specific group of people (the KKK or the Westboro Baptist Church), then the solution is easily definable and reachable.

With the environment, everyone is to blame. No one wants to be on the "bad side" which I believe is why people are so resistant to the idea. Heck, I'm resistant to the idea. I need someone else to blame! Is there really a solution to this? I'm not sure. Some groups have taken to blaming certain industries or to the government and these often end up with more backing. If environmental groups fight against one cause, then often they will receive more support. Specifics help, especially when the blame isn't placed on you personally.

The Face of the Cause

Why are other causes so successful? There is someone (or an animal) that is specifically being hurt unless something is changed. When we discuss environmental issues, a lot of groups mistakenly only point out the harm to the earth itself. The earth isn't "alive" to most people, and it's hard to feel sympathy for it. If more environmental groups would show who would be affected by the damage, then they would likely get more backing - especially if they can be specific.

For example, the groups that support research to end global warming would likely gain more momentum if they took on the tragedy of the island of Maldives - a small, but inhabited island that is going under water due to the effects of global warming.

More people will feel "connected" to global warming because they feel connected to those who are losing their homes.

So...

The likelihood of anyone important at environmental groups reading this blog is minimal, but it is something to think about when starting any nonprofit. You want others to connect to it and feel sympathetic towards your cause, so you need to make it something that anyone can have feelings for.

An Alarming Trend: Thinspiration

2013-02-25T22:23:00.000-05:00

There is a new trend out there that hides itself as a "healthy" inspirational movement. It is something called thinspo, short for thinspiration. From the outside looking briefly in, it is a diet fad and a great motivator to young women to work out and eat well... right?

Here is what goes down in "thinspo" blogs, Twitter feeds, and Pinterest boards. Pictures are posted of severely skinny girls, often with so-called inspirational quotes attached to them.

"So stores always have your size"

aka - a more socially acceptable form of "anorexia." You may be thinking that it is a harmless trend, but when you search for "thinspo" or "thinspiration" on Tumblr, this message appears:

Just got a little bit more real right? "Oh please, that's just an overreaction."

Except - those are the types of posts you find when the girls stop posting the pictures and start talking about what they're really doing. The pictures are there for motivation and encouragement - to get dangerously thin and to stay there.

http://thinspirationpix.tumblr.com/

This post isn't a long winded story or rant, it is for awareness of a sickening and dangerous trend that could be affecting many of your friends and family members. If you see someone poring over these types of photos and "inspirational" blogs, let them know that they are beautiful the way their body is meant to be. If they are receptive, help them find someone to talk to.

Thinspiration is not okay. It is the new socially acceptable way to encourage young women to be anorexic and severely unhealthy. Don't let it take over.

National Eating Disorders Association - 1–800–931–2237

P.S. One of my favorite YouTube girls made a video bringing awareness to thinspo as well. Take a look:

The Death of the Invisible and of the Ferocious

2013-02-24T23:44:00.002-05:00

I have been wanting to make this post for a long time, and tonight felt right. For the first time in a while I have been able to think about this topic and not get teary eyed or let emotions run my thoughts. Young deaths are never easy to talk about, especially two young women with opposite personalities but fearless hearts. The bully and the mocked, the popular and the unseen, a death drawn out and a sudden death. These two young girls, because girls they were, could not have been more unlike yet their deaths were equally tragic. And my role in each of their lives were uncannily similar, so much so that if I think of one I cannot help but think of the other.

Cassandra Ruggiero was the mocked, the forgotten, and the pushed aside. A year older than me, she was often unable to clearly speak her thoughts and her uncomfortable demeanor attracted bullies to her. We rode the bus together in high school. At first I could only watch on as the "leader" of the bus, another girl her age, mocked her and encouraged her entourage to do the same. Each day, I would move a little bit closer until I was sitting in the seat next to her. We started talking like any other teenagers would: movies, music, the generic topics, until I finally started sitting next to her. At that time, I was a very insecure person but fortunately the bullies in the back had not caught onto that. I was seen as neutral ground and provided a small shield for Cassandra. I never was able to directly stick up for her, but each day I sat next to her, the bullying began to cease. Unfortunately, I was only able to use my form of protection on the bus and many afternoons after walking through the torment in the hallways, our bus ride home was silent. I remember her once coming on the bus with a black eye. I never found out who gave it to her.

Beth Jones was rough around the edges, and also a year older than me. She was a leader, the fighter, and a fiercely loyal friend. She was that girl you didn't want to mess with, yet somehow everyone seemed to get sucked up into her world. She was never known for her grades but she was a part of the dance team at my high school. My first involvement with her was due to a scuffle between her and a friend of mine. My friends and I, including the one Beth had "a problem with," were at the movies one night. Beth and her gang happened to be there as well. While the entire theater was loud the entire night, especially the crowd of students in front of my row who we were not associated with, Beth chose us to pick on us after the movie was over. "Thanks for ruining our movie, bitch" and various choice phrases were directed toward my friend. We had to walk past her as we walked out of the movie theater, and tired of the continued harassment, I turned to her and told her to shut up. That is all I said: "shut up." While I stood there facing her, calm and collected, she had all she could take and reached out and backhanded me across the neck. Attempting to hide the lack of breath and panic that overcame me, I turned away and walked off with my friends. A friend of mine held my arm, and he waited with me outside as Beth left the theater, still throwing out threats and names. I stood as calmly as I could and my friend complimented me, saying that I did a great thing for my friend, as we waited for our parents to pick us up.

A poem found after a quick search of Cassandra's name.

Several months passed that Cassandra and I sat on the bus together, and our conversations passed movies and music, books and friends. We began to talk about the insecurities, the mocking, the bullying. I didn't know how to respond or how to help her. She was so awkward and such an easy target. How do you tell someone to change their personality when the problem is not them, it is the people who are hurting them? I couldn't do it. I told her to ignore it, I told her to not respond to their threats and their taunts because it only fed the fire. I told her to find something else to be passionate about. Eventually, I told her about 6:22. 6:22 was a young adult worship service that took place every Friday night while I was in high school. I encouraged her every week to go, and finally she started attending around the time I stopped going. I didn't watch her journey through the service, but I know that she did have one. She became involved with the Bible club at school and found people who were nice to her and befriended her. While the mocking didn't stop, she found others who experienced the same torment and were able to empathize with her.

Not long after Beth slapped me at the movie theater, she attacked me over AOL chat as well. She laid out a long, winded rant about how my friend was a terrible person and I was one too for sticking up for her. I decided that I was going to be much more confident than I ever had been at that point.

I told her that I did not care what she thought about me because I was going somewhere in life and she never would.

That statement broke something down in her, and her responses came more jagged and sad after that. She began to defend herself. I was out of my element, I had become the bully. Realizing that I had no purpose to be mean to her, to bully her, I began to dive into her life. I praised her dancing ability, and when she saw that I was on her side, I asked her why she was really so angry at my friend. She began to crack open to me and our conversations changed from ones of anger to ones of mutual understanding. She smiled at me in the hallways, if not totally bringing me on as one of her friends, and we would talk over AOL messenger. I began to encourage her school studies, reminding her that while dancing was certainly a commendable pursuit, it is dependent on injuries and other life events as well. It wasn't quite as likely to pay the bills. She would tell me about her progress in school and life, and slowly the bullying of my friend stopped entirely. We grew apart and I soon forgot about our conversations and she likely forgot about me too.

Cassandra was killed in a car accident on her way to a 6:22 service on Friday, March 3rd, 2006 at age 16.

Beth passed away September 22nd, 2009 after a several month long struggle with a failing heart. She was 20 years old.

I served a brief role in each of their lives as the adviser, the friend-but-not-friend. We never hung out, and they never cracked into my life, and yet I served as a diary for each of them if even for a brief moment in time. I even feel connected to each of their deaths: the girl I encouraged to go to 6:22 and the girl I told was never going to go anywhere in life. Yet, Cassandra died on her way to doing something she loved and Beth lived a life more filled with love and loyal friends than many who die in old age. My life is more fulfilled and meaningful because of them, and not a week goes by that I do not think of Cassandra, the invisible, and of Beth, the ferocious. Death makes us all the same, no matter how different we were in life.

Rest in peace Cassandra & Beth

Finding Time

2013-02-17T14:30:00.000-05:00

When I graduated college a couple of months ago, I was extremely excited to no longer have the constant stress of homework and studying. When I would get home from work, I would no longer have to read for class or take time to manage the club I helped start. While I understand the importance of it all, I was so excited to just go home.

I have come to realize though that it isn't always that easy. I get off of work at 6 which is just awkward enough to feel like I don't have time to do anything when I get home. Really, it's mainly because it's already dark outside during this time of year, but the feeling is still there. Take an hour or so to cook and eat dinner, play with the dog for a bit, take a shower, and the rest of my time is wasted with social media and Reddit. Of course, that needs to change and I need to start taking initiative.

And then that's where I fail. What exactly do I do? I haven't decided on what kind of skills I would like to develop, so that means I should probably turn to social activities. Social activities are difficult due to the time I get off of work it has proven, so now I'm kind of staring at my hands and wondering what to do.

I don't know how much of a point I have with this post except to find someone with similar experience and hearing about other people's stories. What do you do with that awkward amount of time after work? I'm so happy to not have homework and studying, but now I'm unsure of what to do with my time. My next option is the gym (ick)!

The Right Tool

2013-01-27T19:44:00.000-05:00

Router? I hardly know her!

Once, I had a customer come into Best Buy with a router to return. The box had been opened but it did not look touched. The customer informed me that the router box said that the package would come with an installation disc and that the disc was not in the box. I looked on the side, and lo and behold, it said that there was a disc. I looked in the box, and sure enough, there was no disc. Fair enough. I did have a little inkling of an idea though, well, actually a pretty big idea, as to why there was no disc in the box. It was a misprint. To double check though I grabbed another router box and opened it up, and as you can imagine, there was no disc. At this point I looked back in the original box and the instructions were still sealed. I unsealed the instructions, with the customer in front of me, and the set up did not require the disc. The customer was dumbfounded, and at first did not believe me.

"How on earth am I supposed to set it up without the disc?"
"The instructions tell you how, see?" *holds up instructions*
"Yeah but it says there is a disc!"
"Well, the instructions do not have a disc in them. I'm sorry, it was a misprint." *holds up instructions further*

As you can imagine, that went on for some time. Finally, the customer accepted the six step illustrated instruction guide and walked out of the door with his original box and router.

I can certainly understand his frustration and disbelief, as well as his reaction upon not receiving a disc in the box. That being said, he immediately gave up. When a tool wasn't presented to him that he believed he needed, he did not take the next step of opening up the instructions that would have then shown him that he did not need the disc.

People often run into these obstacles everyday and simply give up, but even on a larger scale.

"I can't afford programming classes, therefore I can't become a programmer."
Solution: Online training sites such as Coursera and Code Academy.

"I don't have Microsoft Word, therefore I can't write my paper."
Solution: Google Docs, Open Office, and so many more free programs.

A hammer isn't the only thing that can make a nail go into a wall, and a hose isn't the only way to water plants. When the supposedly "right" tool isn't available, it isn't time to give up - it's time to find an alternative.

Second Hand Decor

2013-01-20T22:49:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I was shopping with my mother at Wal-Mart when we happened upon the decorative pillow section. You know, those pillows that caused Ben Stiller in Along Came Polly to have a mental breakdown?

Having just gone to some yard sales and a flea market that morning, it occurred to me when I was looking at those pillows that they have worse resale values than cars. Seriously. You buy an average looking pillow that virtually no one will comment on yet everyone expects you to have a few for $20, then when you decide that average looking pillow no longer fits your decor or your cat has peed on it too many times, you sell it for a quarter at a yard sale.

That's right, you just sold a pillow for eighty times less than what you bought it for.

Well I am a firm believer in buying used cars due to the resale value hit that new cars take the second they leave the lot, so why not apply that same concept to decor? I still like having a comfy home surrounded with things that I like (first world thing?) but now I'm just doing it for excessively cheaper. In fact, the only decorative thing that isn't from my or Kyle's parents/Craigslist/Goodwill/yard sale/flea market is the rug in my living room that was purchased from Big Lots after having failed to receive contact from the half dozen Craigslist inquiries I had made.

Here are a few of my finds:

Shelf boat with decorations from my mother and a friend. It's painted red on the outside. $10

Surprisingly annoying to hang, but was still in its packaging. Flea market find, $5

Wasn't actually used, but handmade dog bed from a flea market. $15
(The dog was from Craigslist too but he's a bit more expensive)

The frame I got on extreme sale at Michael's for $3, the print inside for $1 at a resale store, and the plant thing and vase for $5 off of Craigslist.

Frame I got on extreme sale at Michael's for $5, the map print for $1 at a resale store. Got 3 others as well for $1 each!

Memo board? Is that what they're called? Goodwill - $4

Crazy print that I got way too excited about at a yard sale. Signed and dated with a nice little "how the artist does it" print on the back and named The Tree of Life. $5

Still had the original tag on it (or a part of it). Flea market - $3

This went nicely with the rug my parents gave me. Flea market - $5

I've had a lot of luck at resale stores and yard sales and flea markets. I live right down the road from a great place called Cary Creative Center that sells leftover craft project materials which is where I got the maps and Renoir prints from, and live even closer to a flea market where I habitually take my dog every weekend. When I go home, I go on yard sale adventures with my step father and mother. Since my stepfather has retired, he buys furniture from yard sales and flea markets and fixes them up to resell.

Really and truly, unless you fall head over heels for some random print or rug, there's really not much reason to not buy used decorative items. Most of the paintings or pre-framed prints that I have would have been well over $50 new, and I get them for $5.

What are some of the great finds you have had?

Graduation Speech: Job Search Advice

2012-12-21T18:41:00.000-05:00

I have done it... I have completed my undergraduate degree! It has been pretty good for the most part and well, I'm happy it's done. I'm moving on and the place I am at right now is hiring me on full time. I made the student graduation speech for my department commencement, and as I had found a job, I felt like I was qualified to make a practical speech about job searching rather than the stereotypical pep talk (look what I did!) type of speech. I am posting it for you to read. Obviously, a few things change when you begin to talk to a crowd, but this was the majority of it.

Graduation Speech:

Congratulations December 2012 graduates! Thank you parents and friends who came out to support your graduates, and thank you to all of the professors and staff at NC State who helped get us here today... Etc...

Today, my speech has a purpose. Rather than simply saying congratulations and giving you a little motivational pep talk, I wanted to give you all a little advice. To be more specific, I wanted to give you some job searching advice. The job market is hard right now and if you aren’t going to graduate school, you’re likely looking for a job.

Always remember, you are interdisciplinary studies students, and you should know how to market that.

First, is your cover letter.

Your cover letter is that first impression, and you should always write one. The job description doesn’t require a cover letter? Too bad, write one anyways. Your resume, no matter how nicely formatted it is, doesn't give a great insight into who you are. The cover letter is your only chance!

Here is a great way your cover letter could start.

Dear Hiring Manager,
I can already tell you my greatest weakness: I don’t conform. I am a recent graduate of North Carolina State University in Interdisciplinary Studies. I designed my own major (or major parts of it) studying (and here put your major). I met the university requirements for graduating, but I put in my own twist.

From there, talk about your own experiences as I know everybody is different. Play up your major. You created your own program to attain YOUR goals while maintaining the requirements you needed to graduate. How awesome does that sound to potential employers?

Second is your resume, and I only really have one piece of advice for this. In those little bullet points after your job title or other experiences, write your actual achievements from that position and put down some numbers. Were you a tutor? How many students did you tutor? Did you help them improve their grade? and so on.

Your job searching attitude is incredibly important in this process and will help you in interviews. The world owes you nothing. You already know that though, you are IDS students. You played a big role in designing all or part of your degree, so you know what you want and that you are the only one that can get you there.

I hate to tell you this, but your education does not stop here. Every time you get a rejection letter, every time an interview goes poorly, learn from it. Be patient and take the time and show the strength to be critical with yourself.

But when you do find your job - keep learning! You may not have homework anymore, but there are always lessons and skills to learn. Once you have made any decision, whether it is in personal or professional life, keep moving forward, not backwards. Trust in your judgement and don’t dwell on the past.

When you get a job or achieve your personal goals, never forget who helped you get there. Your peers in this auditorium, your friends, and your support network. Even if indirectly, they helped you walk across the stage today. Once you leave this room, you no longer have an advisor to guide you or requirements to meet in order to graduate. There are no requirements to meet that will guarantee you get a job. So use this support network to your advantage, and find a distinct few who will help guide you and give you advice. Be prepared to return the favor with an open mind.

I believe above all else, you are passionate people. After all, and I can’t say this enough, you helped design your own degree. Never forget what motivated you to choose your path, and keep working towards it.

Chances are, you have other passions as well, whether it is traveling, photography, or saving animals. Don’t lose those passions, and always try to gain more. No matter what your beliefs are, you only have one chance to live with the body you are in and with the mind that you have. You are passionate people, so don’t lose your passions.

Graduates - value your time here at NC State, and live by the motto that has surrounded you during your time here:

For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack. -Rudyard Kipling

If your friends and family have yet to tell you, then let me be the first to say it. I am proud of this pack that we are all a part of.

---

So there you have it, my graduation speech.

T-Shirts are back

2012-11-28T12:14:00.001-05:00

A while ago I posted about shirts that sold and what I didn't like about that. Among those shirts were the famed "Team Guy Who Almost Hit Bella With a Car" shirt. For whatever reason, even though parody is protected under the copyright laws, it got taken down. I didn't feel like doing anything about it and let it go. Recently though, I made two new versions of the shirt for you to enjoy.

Team Guy Who Almost Hit Bella with a Car T-shirt 1

Team Guy Who Almost Hit Bella with a Car T-shirt 2

You can find them here. As for the original, I currently don't have the design readily available. I will try to get it back to you soon. Yay!

Tober

2012-11-15T16:19:00.003-05:00

Just a little over two weeks ago, I was extraordinarily excited. I was going to meet Tober. He was a dog I found on adopt-a-pet.com that was being fostered by ST Furever Freedom. And boy, was he cute.

Look at that awesome face.

Kyle and I fell in love with him immediately. He was a little goofy and ridiculously sweet. We adopted him on the spot, but under the circumstances that we wouldn't be able to take him back until just after Thanksgiving when we moved into our new apartment.

That weekend, I went to pick him up so we could hang out for the day. I immediately learned that he was a little stubborn, refusing to get out of the drivers seat. And he was strong. We got in and out of the car a few times before I was able to make him stay in the passengers seat. Even then, he placed his head on my lap, determined to be right next to me. He was so good and so sweet the rest of the day, nudging my hand to pet him and waddling across the slick pet store floors since he couldn't catch his balance.

We went on a long walk with my former roommate and her dog and I began to notice towards the end that he was having trouble walking. He began to limp a little which obviously worried me, but I was mainly concerned that he may have hurt something. I had also noticed earlier during the day when we were going over "sit" that he refused to sit on anything hard, but would sit awkwardly on the carpet or on the grass, so I figured it was related. At the end of the day, I picked him up and placed him back in my car and took him back to his foster mom.

Tober waiting patiently as I ate my lunch. "We're going on that walk you promised soon right? That chicken you have there looks good too."

The foster mom and I talked about his limp some, and even though we both decided it was likely a small injury, she went ahead and took him to the vet to be sure.

As it turned out, he had an Ehrlichia infection, a tick born disease that could cause neurological issues when it reached the chronic stage. He was given a 50/50 chance, but as he had shown no other symptoms whatsoever besides the neurological issues that were otherwise causing him no pain, the outlook was mostly positive. He would always be a special needs boy, but I was prepared to have to carry him up and down stairs and lifting him into my car. They offered me the adoption money back as I was willing to still take him on, but I refused knowing how much vet care they had put into him.

He was given antibiotics and responded very well to them almost immediately. He was happy, walking around normally, and overall continued to be the sweet boy he was.

Kyle and I picked him up a few days after the diagnosis to take him out with Kyle's brother and his wife, son and dogs. Tober was great with all of the dogs and even with the little baby, occasionally sniffing the baby's feet and cocking his head to ask "what's that?" but otherwise disinterested. We went to Umstead park to do a short hike, and at first, Tober was fantastic. He was interested in other dogs and people, going up to everyone that would even possibly pet him.

Then, we reached some stairs to go on a bridge and it was hard not to giggle a little as he awkwardly made his way down. We reached a creek bank, and while attempting to balance himself on the ledge in order to step down in the water, he lost his balance and went in head first. He recovered well and looked at me as though saying "I did it!" I began to worry some at this point, but as he was still being just as happy and goofy as before, I ultimately didn't think much of it.

Again, we loaded him back into my car and took him back to his foster mom. All seemed well, until the next night when I received a phone call from ST Furever Freedom. The foster mom had called in, and distraught, asked them to call me and let me know that Tober wasn't doing well. His condition had drastically taken a turn for the worse, and he could no longer balance himself or hold his head straight. As Tober was too far away for me to make a trip to go and see him in order to take him to the vet, I told them that I trusted them to make the right decision for him.

Today was Tober's last day.

There's no blame here, there is no lesson to be learned. A wonderful dog became sick with an unusual disease that ultimately led to the decision that he would have an unfulfilled and painful life. I can only be happy that he got to spend his last couple of months in luxury in comparison to the shelter where he was due to be gassed the day he was rescued.

The boxes containing his dog bed and his unassembled crate remain untouched in the corner of my apartment. The dog food samples I got for him lay unopened on the kitchen counter. There's a message on my phone from the foster mother describing the experience at the vet that cuts off abruptly after her voice cracked. I lost my dog before he was even able to be my dog and it hurts.

Please, go hug your pets for me and for Tober.

Time

2012-11-03T01:02:00.001-04:00

My schedule has felt absolutely ridiculous lately. I'm holding down two part time jobs, one half an hour away from where I live and the other 20 minutes from where I live, going to school full time and I have been nailing down that full time job for when I graduate in December. And... all of this happens during the week. By the time the weekend rolls around, I'm just... exhausted.

I read a very interesting book introduction recently from "The Values that Americans Live By" authored by L. Robert Kohls. You can read the transcript here. The book is meant to help foreigners become acquainted with American culture, and the book listed out various American values that often differentiate from the rest of the world.

Time was one of the values he listed, as you can imagine. More specifically, "time and its control." Speaking to a foreigner, the introduction reads:

"It may seem to you that most Americans are completely controlled by the little machines they wear on their wrists, cutting their discussions off abruptly to make it to their next appointment on time."

In a strange sense, Americans are more concerned about being on time for a conversation than they are in actually having the said conversation. They are already thinking about the next conversation, or meeting that they have to be on time to. I have seen my life absolutely morph around this, and it's frustrating and a somewhat awful way to live.

Americans even have words to describe time, as you can read in the article. We can "waste" time, "spend" time, often using words with negative attributes. Other countries must not have these descriptions of time if it was even worth pointing out.

I spent my summer in Thailand, and they had almost no concern about time. If a Thai gave you a time to meet, you could expect them to be up to a couple of hours late without much worry. And... it was okay! Thailand is certainly not the most prosperous and industrialized country, but it is a very happy country. In fact, Thailand ranks as the 20th happiest country compared to the United States at rank 105. Even the surrounding countries are happier, with Vietnam ranks as the second happiest country. Okay, what??

What are we doing wrong? Our concern over time and our other values seem so incredibly important to us and seemingly make us a prosperous and industrialized country, but how much does that matter if we aren't happy? I have started to look at the reasons that I don't have a lot of time and what exactly makes me unhappy with how I spend my time.

1. There is a huge emphasis at the moment to "gain experience" while in college.

Right now, I have a fantastic, well paying part time position at a small and reputable company as well as nicely paying part time internship at another company. I helped start a club, I have worked enough part time positions and have now had three total internships including the one I am at not to mention the other part time positions I have held. I did a study abroad, I volunteered, I designed a couple of silly t-shirts to help generate extra income, and when I wasn't doing all of that... I obviously had homework and school to do!

2. Whenever I am not doing something "productive" I begin to have anxiety.

This may seem ridiculous, but it's true. I feel like I spend an ungodly amount of time on Reddit, but my resume says otherwise. I should be happy! I have good job prospects for when I graduate, and for a humanities major, that is no small feat. I have a career path I am considering following, plus additional, so my future job prospects are not limited to a specific field. I get to travel, I have friends, and so on. But... I am not happy. When I'm not doing anything "productive" I often repeat to my boyfriend's annoyance "I should do something right now..."

3. Whenever I decide to do something, I feel guilty about not doing something else.

I should hang out with my friends today! No, but I have that paper to write... I should write that paper! No... but I have that test to study for... this list just lasts forever. Oh, the guilt!

Is there a way to make myself feel better? Maybe. Maybe by realizing my never ending cycle of time obsession, I can begin to snap out of it and be okay with just doing what I need and want to do. Rachel, sit down. Relax. It's alright.

My new personal project

2012-10-09T22:09:00.002-04:00

One of the strange things about myself is that I enjoy making templates. I started making resume templates to help people out, and decided to make a website out of it. Right now you can find it over at freeyourresume.blogspot.com but soon it will be www.freeyourresume.com whenever I can get more content on it in order to "launch" it.

It's mainly a side project as a way to showcase templates I've created with a focus on resumes, but hopefully I am going to expand to other websites as well. We'll see how successful this one is first though.

Yay websites!

Sample simple resume.

You're special, I promise.

2012-10-03T00:26:00.002-04:00

Really, you are. You are the most special person out there, and you deserve the best of the best.

That paper you wrote back in high school totally deserved an A. Your parents said so. Who cares about a few grammatical errors when you write like Adele sings. Okay, maybe more like Cee-Lo Green, but who cares about the voice, it came from your heart.

That internship you applied for and didn't get? Yeah that was total B.S., let me tell you. You had a better resume than all the other applicants, you think. There's no way that they had more experience than you. You were even so confident about your application essay that you had nobody look over it before sending it in. It was that good.

Then there was that time that your so-called significant other very quickly became an insignificant other when he or she cheated on you. Your experience was different though than all the other people in the world who have been cheated on. You were the best person you could possibly be in the relationship. In fact, that cheater didn't deserve you at all. You always went above and beyond in the relationship and you deserve the perfect partner. All those other people who got cheated on deserved it, probably.

Oh look, someone took the time out of their day to write a job rejection letter to you. They totally did not look at your resume, you were way qualified for the position and should have at least gotten an interview (but really, let's be real, they should have called you with a job offer before you even stepped in the door). Maybe you should send them your resume again, you know, just in case.

You know that manager position you have been looking at lately? It looks like Bob might get it, but you deserve it. Bob will only get it because he's buddy buddy with the CEO. You would be buddy buddy with the CEO too if you had worked there for as long as Bob had.

That house that got foreclosed on you? Yeah sure you couldn't make payments on it anymore, and maybe you shouldn't have stretched your money too thin, but you're special... you deserve your own house, and a house you want at that.

Your child just came home after getting a D on a paper. How dare that teacher give your child a D! That paper deserved an A! You tell your child that he deserved better than that, and don't listen to that silly teacher. She just doesn't understand his style of writing. You tell him he's special.

Rinse and repeat.

Once upon a time, I had a really crappy day.

2012-09-21T10:00:00.000-04:00

My life has been one massive transition over the past couple of years. I got out of a dead end relationship that was hurting my life in multiple ways, I have ups and downs with what I want to do with my life, I have crippling anxiety when it comes to my car and money (but not travelling alone in Bangkok!), and I would often rather stare at Reddit all day than talk to anyone (regardless of what my boyfriend believes).

About a year ago though, I had a particularly crappy day. It hadn't been long since I had gotten out of the cruddy relationship, and Kyle and I had not been dating for long. I was surrounded by relatively new friends who I felt the need to prove myself to. They had been friends for years, and I was the newcomer. I had just decided to quit my nutrition major (and good riddance to that life plan) and was testing the waters of a business major. Having a stressful year with an anxiety filled brain, I wasn't doing well in classes and the social awkwardness I thought I had abandoned in high school crept back up on me.

I was sitting in Kyle's room working on homework and my newer friends were sitting outside in the living room talking. While I was sitting there working on economics homework, a class that I ultimately didn't do well in, I heard them start talking about business majors and I perked up.

"Once I'm done with this engineering degree, I should go back to college to do business so I can party all of the time," laughter "seriously, it would be the best four years ever! I wouldn't have to do anything" more laughter

I was absolutely distraught. I not only was considering business, I was struggling in it. Realizing that my major and anything I wanted to do with it was worthless, I burst down in tears. Kyle shut the door and sat next to me while I just sat there and bawled. I thought I had ruined everything that day, my new friends didn't find any value in me, my new boyfriend was watching my self esteem crack in front of him, revealing what was practically a child wearing a grown up suit.

After that, I dealt with some issues. One of which was constantly having to prove myself to everyone which was good in some ways, bad in others. I raised my GPA above a 3.0, I helped start a club, I found internships and experiences that would give me an edge when I graduated college with a "lowly" humanities degree. One of the bad things that having to prove myself constantly was that for a lack of a better term, I could appear flaky. How did I go from a business major to a humanities major to wanting to go to grad school then library science school... and now, not even that? All within a year, too. Every time I met someone passionate about something, I wanted to be passionate about it too.

Those people became my best friends and greatest motivators, and only recently did I tell one of them how much that day affected me. I fully regret not being able to do a STEM degree in college, knowing I am capable of it now, but at the time, humanities was the right choice. I have come to accept that and instead fulfill my "life" needs with good job experiences and networking. I know that while I may not have the most lucrative job out of college, I will have one, and that is a great feeling. While I can get easily passionate about doing one thing, then take a complete 180, I am okay with that because that only means that I have options. I don't believe that I have even found my "real" passion, but I have become okay with that too.

I have only recently began to calm down and realize that I do not need a specific life path in place and there are multiple careers that will fit me. Whichever career takes me first is the way that I will go, but I am confident that I will find one.

I am thankful, though, that they kicked me off of my butt and made me realize I need to do something with my life. Even if I went overboard, that only means I had done more than enough. Now I can scale it back and feel good about myself.

Plus... a little anxiety medicine doesn't hurt.

Tips for Networking in College

2012-09-19T23:09:00.003-04:00

There are way too many articles about "how to network" and similar topics out there on the web, but it seems like most of them just say "talk to people!" Okay, great, got that. But how do you talk to people? It is especially difficult when you are in college and you do not have professional organizations to join or coworkers with connections. Your current connections are your friends, and while they may be great resources, they are not necessarily the best resources. Attempting to network through your friends could cause resentment and the feeling of being used, so you often resort to just waiting for them to tell you about something rather than taking the initiative. And that's okay, I promise.

Four of my friends and I with Nnaemeka of SmallHolders Foundation and Tom of Safari Professionals

So really, I want to tell you how to talk to people and network, especially at one of the most critical times in your life: college. And I want to do it without lists, without typical article formatting, anything. We're just talking.

The first thing I want to tell you is that it will not always go well. If you attempt to contact someone, you may never hear back from them. You may even get a rude response. There is nothing wrong with you, just keep trying.

Your professors are going to be one of your first point of contacts for networking, especially ones that have been at the university for an extended period of time. If you're in a large class, it's hard to make yourself memorable. Don't stress about trying to make yourself memorable by making a great grade, instead, try doing something unique.

In my calculus class, on one of my take home group assignments, my professor had us draw a "pi-rate" ship (haha pi, get it?) for extra credit. I told my group members, I got this. Instead of drawing a pirate ship, I made an easy no-bake blueberry pie, made a circular boat out of brown rice crispy treats, made a sail out of a cylindrical pastry (piourettes?) and a sail out of a napkin. I even stuck a pirate Lego man in there for good measure. Sure, I did great in that class without that fantastic extra credit piece, but the more important thing is that I made myself memorable. What professor is going to forget a student walking down in front of 200 other students with a blueberry pie just for her?

You don't have to go that far though at all. Stopping in on office hours just to chat, or sending quick emails work just as well. I went to Thailand for a study abroad this past summer, and surprisingly, while I was there I ended up speaking German. I didn't do fantastic in German class, but I still emailed my German professor telling him about my random language exchange, and as it turned out he remembered me and we chatted for a little bit. Professors love hearing that their class somehow affected you in "real life."

Finally, they can be a fantastic resource for finding internships if you do well in their class. Email them asking them if they have any recommendations for places, and not only may they lead you to an internship you hadn't formerly seen, they may even recommend you for it. Plus, professors often lead awesome lives and can tell you fantastic stories, so there is an added bonus.

Don't be scared to go up and talk to speakers you have in classes or at events you go to. They are there to present, which obviously means they enjoy spreading information. Ask them something relevant but concrete about the information they just gave you (how many women would you say your charity organization has helped? Not: what do you think the greatest piece of technology is? way too open ended). Now you've made a quick point of contact, and ask them if they wouldn't mind you emailing them with more questions later.

Now I'm going to tell you something I hope you've already done. Get involved! Seriously, if you haven't joined a club yet of some kind... well I mean really, what excuse do you have? There is bound to be a club that meets on a night you are able to meet that you would be interested in attending. Do it. Speakers galore and often awesome resources for reaching out to others. Use the tips above in clubs as well!

If you have any more questions on how to talk to people or want to know how to approach a situation, please let me know and I will do the best I can to help!

-Rachel

I learned something interesting about Buddhism in Thailand

2012-09-08T18:21:00.004-04:00

Wat Arun, Bangkok Thailand (c) Rachel Barnum

Among many other things, one of my considerations of a major in college was in religious studies. I wanted to continue on in my life and become a professor, and I was especially interested in Asian religions. I really only took a couple of religion courses before I switched, but Buddhism always stood out to me. In Thailand, they generally practice Theravada Buddhism that has some slight variations on other modern practices of Buddhism around the world, but that is not entirely important.

While I was in Thailand, I noticed that there was virtually no help at all for the handicapped. I only saw two people in wheelchairs while I was there. One was an elderly man whose family was wheeling him around a park, stopping on some grass, and helping him get up and walk slowly while latching onto their arms. The second was a younger girl in the Bangkok Cultural Arts Center who I watched swing her wheel chair around and back up to the escalator, roll on, then hold on tight until she got to the bottom. She seemed well practiced at this so I assume she came to the art center often.

Otherwise, I simply do not see how a handicapped person would be able to get around Bangkok without a decent amount of cash and their own handicapped enabled vehicle. The sidewalks were awful, forget about getting up anywhere that has stairs due to no ramps, and the buses did not have wheelchair spots. There was even a study done relatively recently on the lack of help for the disabled in Thailand. The research shows that even though disabled Thais are helped monetarily and with supplies, they are rather trapped in their homes due to the inability to traverse throughout Thailand.

Interestingly, the blind seemed to be the only ones that were given any help. They were given lottery tickets to sell or, more bizarrely, would walk around with obvious caregivers carrying a small amplifier/speaker and a microphone and singing... very poorly.

A blind man selling lottery tickets near MBK

Being curious, I asked my professor about the reasoning behind the lack of help for the handicapped. Interestingly, from his observations, Thais felt as though if you were handicapped, you deserved that position in life. They were not going to be mean to you in any way, and may help you here and there, but there would be no laws implemented to help the handicapped get around.

Why? Because Buddhists believe that depending on how you live your current life, your next life will reflect off of that. People in wheelchairs did not live "good" lives previously, so they deserve their station in life.

Buddhists also believe in compassion and being nice, etc, but how far does that really extend? Again, Thais are extremely nice and are very friendly towards the handicapped, but yet, the help just isn't there. This is probably the first negative aspect I have ever found of Buddhism, but I wouldn't say that I always found it to be "perfect," I just hadn't found the flaw yet. But, there it is.

Obviously this doesn't go across all Buddhist cultures, and there are activists in Thailand trying for better help for the disabled. In addition, the government gives a 500 Baht monthly stipend to many qualifying handicapped as well. While that only amounts to about $15 USD a month, it can go a long ways for food and other needs there. Yet, how do these people find jobs? How bored do you have to get after spending your days at home? Life isn't fantastic for the handicapped in Thailand.

Edit** I asked some friends about this and they said that while the thoughts are there, they are considered quite backwards. Perhaps it's an effect similar to black Americans, although they were given rights a decent amount of time ago, it takes time for the repercussions to subside.

How do you prepare for a death?

2012-09-05T22:54:00.002-04:00

The short answer is, you don't.

There is more than that though, so here's a story.

Last week, my best friend's mother passed away after fiercely battling colon cancer for a number of years. She had stage IV colorectal cancer, a stage very few people live beyond five years with, yet her mother did it. As it was expressed at her funeral, her mother did not complain but instead quietly battled a disease that both my friend's mother and father knew that she was very likely going to lose.

I have to wonder, what do you battle for at that point? Do you battle the disease because it is what you should do? Do you hold onto that one little sliver of a chance that you could pull through? Or instead, do you battle each depressing thought so you can at least live happily while you can?

My best friend was very strong through all of this. She went to a school in a different state, although not far, and kept going on. She went to Africa for a study abroad, she went across the country for an awesome internship studying snakes, she and I as well as other friends founded a club that took over a significant amount of time and weekends to run.

After her internship ended at the end of July, she had to decide when to go home to spend time with her mother. It had been around five years that her mother had been battling the disease, and as said before, not many people make it that far. Her mother's time was coming up, and it was an unmovable weight. My friend had originally thought she would come home in September, thinking that her mother would still have a few months at the very least, but decided to come home in the middle of August instead.

Two weeks later, her mother passed away peacefully and without pain in the comfort of her own home.

My best friend feasibly had a long time to prepare for her mother's death, but how do you really do that? When I sat down with her a day after her mother's funeral, she confided in me that she knew this was going to be it. Even though it seemed to happen so quickly, and she thought she was going to have a longer time to spend with her mother, she had always known this was going to be it. My friend then said something rather significant though, and it was what inspired me to write this post.

"I couldn't live like my mother was dying."

And that is entirely true. Her mother fought and battled a disease that could have taken her within the first year of having it, much less the full five years that it did take. Was my friend to stop living her life during some of her most pivotal and defining years in case her mother was to pass away the next day? I feel as though her mother was much happier watching her daughter progress and strive in life than she would have been had my friend been holding her hand every second of the day, with nothing new to add to the otherwise daunting conversation.

People often say to live like you were dying, but in another sense... live as though the people closest to you were dying. Because it's true, we are getting closer to dying everyday. Enjoy and take full advantage of the moments you have with them, be kind and respectful and a decent human being. And live your life, because that makes a better conversation.

Rest in peace Cindy Easter. 1959-2012

My best friend's sister is running 12 half marathons in 12 months to raise money towards fighting colon cancer. You can follow her awesome blog & donate here.

My Weird Experience at Greenville Auto World

2012-08-25T01:18:00.002-04:00

This story happened a couple of weeks ago now, but I have been digesting it some, figuring out how I wanted to say it the best, then I just kind of forgot about it because school and work and excuses. That doesn't matter now though because I'm going to tell you the story. I hope it makes you angry or concerned, but if it doesn't, then I genuinely want to know why. I want to know why this would in any way be considered a decent business practice.

My car has been acting up some lately, so I went to where my parents live in Greenville, NC to have it looked at. Long story short, as the long story really doesn't matter, we were recommended by a guy we didn't really know to go to Auto World II off of Greenville Blvd. Okay, great. Get there, talk to the guy, drop it off. Get a call later on in the afternoon saying sorry but they didn't get to it that day, and they'll take a look at it first thing in the morning. Fine and dandy, I know I didn't have an appointment.

The next morning they call in and say they couldn't find anything wrong with it, and that well... because I was recommended to them by somebody that shopped there often, they would give me a discounted check out fee. Uhm sorry, what? What check out fee?

I didn't say anything at the time because I thought maybe I just misunderstood them the day before, and called my mom. Nope, there had be absolutely NO mention of a check out or a diagnostic fee. I've been to places that charge them and places that don't, so I hadn't thought much of it at the time. So, after confirming that, no, there was no mention of it, I wrote this on Facebook:

Obvious anger there, but guarded. It should be noted too that the same morning, a girl I knew from high school added me on Facebook.

Before we continue, a few notes on how I feel about diagnostic fees:

Yes, I get why they exist. They're fine.
Tell me upfront.

Also, I wouldn't have even dropped off my car if I had known there was a diagnostic fee, not because I wouldn't want to pay it but because I knew my car wasn't exhibiting the symptoms that day.

So, I go in with my stepfather to get my car back, and this is where it gets weird.

First, I notice that the girl who had added me on Facebook that morning was a receptionist. Oh, cool, I think, she must have seen my name and added me. Neat. Second, the owner/manager comes around who we had spoken to the day before, and says "we need to talk." Well, alright then. Third, he pulls us into his office and shuts the door. Already, alarms are going up and he has yet to look either my stepfather or I in the eye.

Then... here's the kicker... he pulls out a printout of my Facebook post.

"We don't practice business like this. If anyone saw this, we could lose business."

Do what? I immediately get feelings of disgust and anger. I asked him how he found the Facebook post and pointed to the girl outside, saying that she must have given it to him. He then claimed someone called it in. I then pointed out to him that I hadn't even put the name of the place on Facebook, at all. Not in the comments to that post, not anywhere.

"Well, you could have put our name up there."

How dare you accuse me of something I could have done. I pointed out that even if I had, it was absolutely in his best interest to make the situation right so I could go back and retract the negative review. So, after expressing my disgust with the business practice of pulling up my Facebook page (note: I have it completely private even!), he goes on to the diagnostic fee.

"I have to pay my technicians."

Well sir, you aren't doing a great job of it then. I pointed out that he had never once mentioned the diagnostic fee, didn't even tell me how much it would be over the phone... simply said I would get a discounted one. Discounted off of what? How would I have even know he really discounted it? I signed no waiver, I did not agree to a service contingent on a fee. He pointed out a couple of nearby dealerships that charged diagnostic fees. Well sir, I had been to both of those dealerships by chance and each one of them not only told me upfront that they had a diagnostic fee, but had me sign a waiver.

At this point I'm still extremely upset over the abuse of my Facebook page and his attempt to attack me with it, and finally he backs down and decides to not charge us the diagnostic fee. Not once did he apologize for his actions. We walked out and grabbed my keys from the desk, the girl no longer sitting there - obviously having overheard my anger.

"I wish I could have your business, but I guess I have no control over your actions."

Yup, that's what he said. We left, and I ended up writing a full post on Facebook about my experience, deleting and blocking the girl, and writing a review on Google about the experience. It's quite literally their only review at the moment.

So, now that I have digested the experience, these are my thoughts on it:

I fully believe that the girl added me with good intentions, gave the post to her boss with good intentions, then her boss did a horrible job of fixing the issue.
He is a horrible employer if he was willing to single out and tarnish the reputation of one of his employees who again, likely had good intentions.
Basically, if a customer has an issue with your business practice, do not vomit even worse business practices all over them. Instead either A: fix the issue, make the customer happy, and move on OR B: leave the customer relatively unhappy without making the situation worse, learn for the next customer, and move on.

What pains me even more is the absolute abuse of customer trust and their Facebook page. Is this what business are going to come to? They become so obsessed with their online reviews that anytime they get a bad one, they are going to threaten the customer with "we are going to lose business?"

So, businesses, a lesson for you: if you have a bad review, learn from it. Don't punch your customer in the trust muscle.

So again, the place I went to was Greenville Autoworld. That's right, I said Greenville Auto World reviews. The one on Greenville Blvd. in Greenville, NC. Their website is here: http://www.greenvilleautoworld.net/.

It's okay if you get another job outside of your major. I promise.

2012-07-30T11:51:00.002-04:00

Really, I promise it is. I am currently majoring in science, technology, and society. What the heck is that? Yeah, I honestly don't really know either except I know I love the classes in it. (I'm taking technological catastrophes this fall. Yeah. Beat that.) When I do describe it, I say that it is a political science that focuses on science and technology policy. Now, what jobs could directly come from this major? These are the only ones that I thought of:

Employee/curator at a science or technology museum.
Doing something in politics that relates to science and technology.
Social science research assistant in studies that show relationships between society and science and technology.

Okay, so those are way too specific to hope to ever get a job in, much less get experience for ahead of time. What I learned has really matter has been making connections and learning other skills. Currently, I work at a help desk for a reseller of Google Apps for Business helping customers with things like mailing lists, email problems, and other issues. Soon, I may also be working in search engine marketing or SEO. The first job I gained by having Google Apps experience and by showing on my resume that I was a "doer" (actual words from my boss). The second one is through networking and having proven that I can be a fast learner. Currently, these are part time while I am in school but I have a pretty good feeling that they will be what I get a career in once I'm out of school.

So, if you're unsure what you want to do in life and don't want to change your major, there are a lot of things you can learn for free or for very cheap. Plus, they're probably just great skills to put down on your resume anyways.

These are some of my suggestions:

The Google Suite.

I guess you saw that coming, but seriously. As an end user, everything is FREE for you to use! Get to know Google Drive and Gmail. A lot of businesses are switching over to Google Apps for Business and it will save them some training time if you already know how to use it effectively... and you might be able to show them a thing or two as well.

Learn Google Apps

Programming!

I know, it sounds scary. Honestly, I don't know how to do it yet either, but I found an awesome free website that helps you learn. So go do it!

Learn Programming fo' FREE!

Make a website.

Start learning the basics of HTML and maybe even PHP. If you can even make minor edits to a website without completely crashing it, you could be a huge asset. In addition, even if you put down "Basic HTML" on your resume, it will show potential employers that you have a solid foundation to build on and it will make you easier to train than the next person who doesn't know anything about HTML.

Learn HTML, CSS, and more for free.

Get down the basics of a language.

Even if it is just the basics, it will help when you need to at least tell a customer where the bathroom is.

Free Language Learning (German, Spanish, and French)

Take a continuing ed class at a community college!

In whatever you are interested in. They often offer things from welding to Photoshop and programming. Choose something and go for it.

Take free classes online.

No, they're not going to give you a certificate or even be something you can put down on your resume, but similar to taking a continuing ed course, they can help teach useful skills. As long as you are comfortable applying the skill, you can put it down on your resume.

Khan Academy

MIT Open Courseware

I know that all of these have to do with computer skills, but that's what is hot right now. What skills have you learned outside of college that helped you land a job?

Oh Car Troubles...

2012-07-29T23:10:00.002-04:00

I really like my car. Really, I do. It's a 2004 Kia Optima and it was bought for only $5,000 with around 70,000 miles on it. Well, unfortunately with cars, it does seem you often get what you paid for and it is beginning to die. Both the transmission and engine are beginning to go and the search for another car has begun.

While I know I still have at least a month before I can do anything, the entire car situation, as I have discovered, is extraordinarily stressful. Just deciding what to do with my car is stressful. Do I try to sell it as is? Do I just let it die completely and junk it? Should I donate it to one of the donate a car programs? Then, there's deciding how much I would want to finance, what I want my monthly payment to be...

Basically, first world problems.

But it still well, sucks.

I just want my car to work.

Not my car, but basically my car.

I have been looking at Nissan Versas and Toyota Yaris in general, but I'm open to other suggestions. I have been really looking at hatchbacks in general and as my car friend Jason has recommended, I'm not going to get a VW due to reliability issues in the 2000s.

So, this was mostly a complaining post. But that's my life at this moment. Cars. Blegh.

The "Yellows" Dream

2012-07-19T00:48:00.001-04:00

I haven't updated for a little while, but here goes. I will make a better post about Thailand soon, but I wanted to get this off of my mind.

Last night / this morning in my not-quite-asleep-but-definitely-not-awake stupor, I had a zombie apocalypse type dream. You might think, oh whatever, just one of those zombie nerds. NO. If you know me pretty well, you know that I hate anything to do with this current zombie trend. I absolutely hate even considering the possibility of a "zombie" apocalypse happening, much less griping over what weapon I would use in the scenario that it did happen. Given, I realize that these are rarely true zombies, usually the blame is some kind of disease, and that's exactly how my dream was as well.

In my dream, there were the sick people called the "yellows." Life went on relatively normally in my dream with the yellows about (in that fashion where dreams don't quite make sense), and more than anything, they were crazy people. They could still talk and function, they were just into killing and eating healthy people. I was actually going out to a bar in my dream when a bus full of good intention type sports guys pass the group I was with (no one I actually knew was in my dream). They call out and we joke back and forth in a friendly way and they continue on.

Suddenly, again as dreams do, I jumped forward to coming home for the night and there are these guys again but this time they are out of the bus and walking awkwardly down the street towards me. It's established that they have gone "yellow" and the one other person I'm with sprints off. The guys threaten me and I stand there, completely stiff and unable to run knowing that it would be absolutely futile. Suddenly the guys start laughing and say they were joking around. I relax, and they offer me a ride on their bus home since my friend left me.

When I get on the bus, one of the guys tell me about an army against the yellows that was extremely secretive and would only attempt to recruit you once, or something of the like. Anyways, the point is that they were a mysterious group that had a mysterious way of recruiting, usually involving yellow lights. At this point the guy turns back around as he was in the seat in front of me and talks to his girlfriend next to him (who suddenly appeared there, yeah, dreams).

Then, of course, random yellow lights begin to flash softly outside of the bus. I begin to feel adrenaline run into me, and get the attention of the guy in front of me. I point out the lights to him and he nods and faces back forward. The front part of the bus suddenly gets dark, and when it lights back up, some of the army recruiters in dark hoods are randomly seated throughout. I, again, point this out to the guy in front of me, he nods and he and a couple of other guys walk to the front of the bus. They stand their momentarily and I consider going up, but become scared and remain seated. The front of the bus goes dark again and the army and the guys who had walked up to the front are gone.

Motorcycles with yellow lights speed off beside the bus, the girl in the seat in front of me is now crying, and I am beginning to severely regret not going with them. I begin to panic in my head, "what am I going to do now?" "I guess I could find a someone who has really holed themselves up and hide with them?" (Because, apparently, at this point my earlier venture into the night was no longer going to be possible and everywhere in the world had become incredibly dangerous).

The one thought that stuck in my head and essentially woke me up was, "If I'm not fighting, then I'm only running and hiding."

I have been thinking about that for the rest of the day, and it is entirely true. If I'm not fighting against something, then I'm only running and hiding from it... hoping that the people who are fighting against it defeat it before it catches me. I'm not sure what the bigger risk would be.

Traveling By Yourself Can be a Good Thing

2012-06-18T01:04:00.000-04:00

I'm in Bangkok with 12 other people who I have the opportunity to travel with everyday. As fun as it is to travel with others, sometimes it is kind of nice just to be able to travel by myself places. With the risk of giving my mother a heart attack, I have to say I have really enjoyed going around Bangkok by myself some days. I end up seeing more and at my own pace, as well as a few other advantages here and there. I don't think that being by myself would work everywhere, but so far, here in Bangkok, it has worked rather well.

So here are a few advantages I have noticed about travelling around by myself:

People say "hi" more.

This one has fascinated me the most. I have now met someone who studied in America for some time and worked at the Kennedy Space Center. I met a couple where the guy was from Brazil and working in Taiwan. He had to take a leave due to his Visa restrictions so him and his Taiwanese girlfriend were exploring Southeast Asia for a few months. People at restaurants are more willing to talk to me for a second, ask me where I am from and what I am doing. In fact, I don't see a way to meet people at all unless it is just you and maybe one other person travelling. I feel as though once you are in a group of three or more (even two), it can be intimidating.

I get to see more.

Everyday when I go out by myself, I have a general plan, I know where I want to end up each day and how to get to each place. For example, my plan for one day was to take the BTS (Skytrain) to Siam Square to have a look around at the malls, then walk to Lumphini Park. I could have taken the BTS from Siam to Lumphini, but I figured it was close enough and I might as well see the sites on the way.

The blue represents the path I walked.

On my walk to Lumphini, I ended up seeing Thai children singing and dancing for National Milk Day and a mini parade for National Donut Day.

Neither of these things were anything that I planned to see, but because I was travelling by myself, I was easily able to explore the area on the way to Lumphini Park.

I get to go at my own pace.

This really goes with the above. Because I get to go at my own pace, I get to see more, or at least see more of what I want to see. It is kind of like going to a museum. Museums are strangely usually viewed as group activities, but you never want to spend too much time at one place in case the other person doesn't want to, and sometimes you barely get to see something that you want to look at.

But beyond that, going at my own pace means being able to sit down whenever I want to and pulling out my book, or sitting and simply watching people for a little bit. I only argue with myself when trying to figure out where I want to eat, etc.

It can be almost meditative sometimes.

Walking around a museum, a park, or even down a busy street by yourself in an unfamiliar area is oddly relaxing. Part of the stress of being "lost" or taking too much times comes from travelling with others. It's completely okay if I stop to look at something for a little while, or even get lost in thought. I notice more around me, and stop worrying about interactions with others.

Overall...

Traveling with others definitely has its benefits with comradeship, but if you get the chance, go out by yourself sometimes and see the world rather than experiencing it with others.

"Thailand is Odd"

2012-05-31T11:09:00.001-04:00

Unfortunately, my internet has not been working well since I have been here. I am going to make this a quick post because I have been taking a lot of videos and pictures I want to share, but can't due to the slow uploading.

I was in the elevator of my apartments the first or second day of being here, and a Thai lady asked me where I was from. When I told her I was from America, she told me, "Thailand is odd." I quickly told her that she would find America odd, but her comment has certainly stuck with me.

So, this blog post is going to be about things that have made Thailand "odd" to me so far... then, in comparison, what Thais would find odd in America.

Bangkok traffic is something else.

Odd Things in Thailand to me as an American:

Motorcycles. Motorcycles just have free reign here, and it can be incredibly scary. I also need to take a picture, but some women won't even straddle the back seat when they are wearing skirts, instead opting to sit with both legs on one side... yet they stay on. HOW?!

Street vendor food. Just... fish... whole fish... and these funny "meatballs" (not like Italian meatballs, just literal balls of meat), massive quantities of fruit, and other discernible things.

There are plenty of "pirated" and cheap things, but what gets to me is that almost every market vendor has the same pirated and cheap thing. Like clothing for instance, you would assume that the market on one side of town would have completely different tops than the market on the other side of town, but they don't. Same with shoes, headphones, etc. There's just some massive factory here that provides cheap/pirated things to all of the vendors.

Malls are just indoor markets. They have some traditional stores, but really, the middle of the hallways are just set up with more vendors. This means in most stores, only one or two people can really walk in at a time.

I don't know how to buy shoes. This really goes for a lot of things, I don't know if I can ask for a different size or if I can even ask for certain things on my pizza. I expect I will learn, but right now I do feel like the ignorant traveler.

Handicapped are on their own here. There are no drop down buses, temples have stairs galore and no ramps, and the streets are generally just not meant for handicapped.

Being generally lost all of the time. At least in European countries, I could sound out the words and translate them. Here, I don't even know where to begin with translating. Luckily, many important things like street names are in English so I'm not literally physically lost, but when I am trying to buy snacks or other odds and ends, I'm generally at a loss.

What Thais would find odd in America:

Motorcycles. They follow general traffic laws, so even though there is plenty of space for a motorcycle to get through somewhere, the motorcycle won't take it.

Restaurants. You have to leave a tip, and the waiter won't actually wait next to your table until you are ready to order. Actually, you will barely see your waiter and definitely not when you need them. It's also rude to call them down on top of that.

Everything comes in sizes, and the sizes are much more complex than small, medium, and large. It appears that Thais have feet that range from size 32 to 37. I wear a size 41 as an American size 8.5, so as you can tell, they have tiny feet and most shoe vendors only carry those sizes. Most shirts, dresses, and pants here are all loosely fitting as well and stretchy, so it is very much a one size fits all. In the nicest store I went in, the only "sizes" they had were S, M, and L... even in pants. In America, just women's sizes in pants range from 00, 0, 1, 2, 3, 4... and on up to the 20s and so forth.

Flea markets and farmers markets. There is usually only one of each per town, and often per county. You definitely won't just run into one as you are walking around.

Americans feel entitled to the internet. I imagine this will grow in Thailand as well, but even the "poorest" homes in America have access to the internet it seems like. Here, it free WiFi is available but sparse, and well- you never see anyone taking advantage of it except for Westerners.

Although dressing nice is, well, nice, it isn't necessarily expected. Almost every Thai I see walking in the street is dressed up nicely. America, on the other hand, it's expected to see t-shirts and jeans with the occasional well-dressed person.

Everyone is loud. Very loud. It is not unusual to see public anger, either, in America.

Overall:

The world is getting tinier, and cultures are beginning to merge. There is a lot of westernization going on in Thailand and it is especially obvious with the younger crowd. I wish that some of the Thai / Asian culture would seep into the Western world as well, but I highly doubt that it really will. There is a culture of respect, discreteness, and quietness here that would never translate into America at the very least. One can hope.

Making the Most of a Flight Cancellation

2012-05-26T08:21:00.000-04:00

En route to Bangkok, Thailand for my study abroad I had a flight cancellation in Manama, Bahrain with two other students, Kara and Ethan. Admittedly, I had never heard of Bahrain before booking my flight, but as it turns out, it is a small Muslim Nation island in the gulf near the Middle East. Obviously doesn't sound necessarily like the most tourist friendly nation, but Kara and I decided we would certainly make the best of it.

Gulf Air set us all up with a free hotel room and free meals at the hotel which was all very fantastic.

Kara in our hotel room

Ethan at dinner... with his fifth plate, and my dessert plate

While at the airport, we briefly met an older couple who was also from North Carolina. We assumed they were on our same flight path as us, but as it turned out, their ending point was in Bahrain and they sold furniture internationally. I imagine it must be a good business if they travel to Bahrain.

We ended up meeting three other people who were on our same flight path. One guy, Ben, was from Tufts University and was en route to Burma to do political based photography. There was also a couple, Meemo and Gerard, who were on their way to Bangkok to get married. Meemo was from Bangkok and Gerard was from Haiti, and they were both living in Miami.

Bahrain is a very interesting country in that it is the most socially liberal Muslim country. They even allow alcohol and have bars and clubs. For entertainment that night, we decided to seek out a bar of some kind and ended up at a place called Twister which had an amazing Vietnamese cover band. They sang Rush, Linkin Park, Lady Gaga, Adele and more incredibly well. One of the singers was a gay (acting?) man who humorously hit on Ben for the entire night, even pulling up Ben to sing Bohemian Rhapsody. Surprisingly, Ben turned out to be a rather awesome singer and I will put up a video eventually (unfortunately my computer has stopped rendering videos momentarily).

Kara, Ben, Gerard, Meemo, Ethan, and me

We made a lot of friends!

Ben, Me, funny Vietnamese Gay Guy, Kara, and Meemo at the bottom.

Unfortunately, I tend to close my eyes when I smile, which makes for really funny pictures of me most of the time.

USD really did not go far in Bahrain, a pitcher of beer cost upwards of $20, although everything else was close to average American cost. I had to assume that drinking is really something of a luxury there.

The next day we explored Bahrain for a little while rather ineffectively. It was very obvious that people thought we were crazy for walking in the heat, but it overall wasn't too bad. Plus, we probably garnered a lot of stares for being an odd lot of Americans to begin with. We walked past the Grand Palace ("no pictures!") and the Al Fatih Mosque. We stopped in a little local shop to get the most delicious fruit drinks I have ever had, basically just the fruit and water blended. We had been intending on going to the National Museum later but we were all exhausted by the end of the day and ended up relaxing for the rest of the afternoon at the hotel.

Me, Kara, and Ethan in front of the Grand Mosque

Kara and I went to a mall that was across from the hotel that turned out the be the nicest, most expensive mall I have ever stepped in. As soon as we walked in, Valentino and similar stores filled our vision. We only window shopped, scared to even step in to them. It was a weekday and the mall was almost completely empty, especially clothing stores.

The clothing stores in the mall I found to be fascinating because Bahrain, even though socially liberal, is very much a Muslim country still where women wear traditional Muslim clothing. The stores showed off very Western culture based clothing, even traditional Westernized wedding dresses. I could only guess that there is a decent amount of business and diplomat travel that takes place to Bahrain and the mall was meant to primarily appeal to them.

At the mall, there was also a shoe exhibit, and Kara and I ended up getting into the Bahrain Daily News while looking at them.

We said emotional goodbyes at the airport, as Meemo's parents met Gerard for the first time and another older man we had met saw his wife for the first time in years. Overall it was a fantastic mini vacation and we had a fantastic time.

I have been in Bangkok for about two days now, but as most of it has been sleeping, I think I can get everything into a post tomorrow!