Radiation-Scarred Reviews

dusts off

2013-03-12T19:28:00.003-04:00

It's been a while since I've posted on this end of Radiation-Scarred Reviews! How have you all been?

As you probably are aware, all my reviewing has been taking place at the newer, shinier, easier-on-the-eyes Radiation-Scarred Reviews.

In other news, RSR is over four years old now (having begun December 26th, 2008), and I feel like I've gotten over my misgivings and general shyness enough to try to really commit myself to doing something with this. I would love to be able to write full-time (I don't see it happening, but it definitely won't if I don't try), and if I can even just get beer money out of my writing, I'd be happy.

As such, I'm taking some steps:

Post more frequently whenever possible. Obviously, it isn't always going to be possible; real life gets in the way, but having weekends where I'm just a total slug and don't do anything aren't going to cut it. It's not a huge energy expenditure to write reviews; "not feeling like it" is my depression talking.
Continue working on improving the quality of my writing. I'm not trying to write better than anyone but myself, but damnit, I'm a wily bastard and keep making it harder for me to top myself. I already consider myself one of the most skilled writers in the horror blogosphere, I've got a good authorial voice, but I'm not going to rest on any perceived laurels.
ADVERTISING. Word of mouth ain't cuttin' it. If I want to increase my readership circulation, I need to start selling myself. I've had business cards printed to distribute at shows, and I'm looking into buying commercial time on some podcasts.
ADVERTISING, PART 2. I'm going to sell ad space. I'm not going to try and sell you Payday Advance Loans or black market Viagra, but I will shill for companies and sites that are relevant to our interests as horror fans. Am I selling out? I'm not writing reviews for my health (any more). Shakespeare gots to get paid, son.

If you're interested in advertising on RSR, drop me a line at radiationscarredreviews at gmail dot com.

What else, what else...

Jordan the Vault Master and I just overhauled the new site's look last weekend and I think it's pretty snazzy. Similarly over the past couple months I've been really striving with my reviews and feel like I've put out some fantastic work lately, to the point where most of the stuff in the archives here on Blogger is almost embarrassing to read.

I love hearing from you, the readers, so please, send feedback -- comments, criticisms, suggestions for movies to review in the future, or just to generally shoot the shit. I don't bite. If you want to talk, shoot me an email at the above address, hit me up on the Book of Faces, or comment on the reviews. Getting feedback and reader responses really makes my day, and if I go too long without any I start getting twitchy and neurotic and start panicking that nobody's reading my stuff.

If you want to talk in person or hang out, I can be found at Cinema Wasteland next month, April 5th-7th in Cleveland, Ohio. I will also be at the Salt City Horror Fest in Syracuse, New York, on May 4th. Just look for the bespectacled fat guy in a denim vest covered in patches and pins. If there's multiple, he's the one with short hair.

I think that's it for this update. Looking forward to hearing from you all soon.

All the best,
Bill "Saucerman" Adcock

BIGFOOT IS GO!

2012-08-15T19:39:00.006-04:00

I recorded a video to announce this, but my mic crapped out. Send in your reviews!

5 DAYS TO BIGFOOT!

2012-08-10T06:24:00.000-04:00

Just a reminder, our Bigfoot Review Roundtable, "BLURRY HOME VIDEO FOOTAGE," goes live on August 15th, and runs through September 1st. Rev up your DVD Players!

Blurry Home Video Footage: A Tribute to Sasquatch Cinema, 2012

2012-08-01T20:06:00.004-04:00

Attention readers!

A Roundtable subject has been selected! Radiation-Scarred Reviews will be hosting a blogger roundtable celebrating the cinematic achievements of that great American hero, Bigfoot, AKA Sasquatch, AKA Skunk Ape, AKA etc. etc.

Rules of the game are simple.

1.) Select a Bigfoot movie.
2.) Watch it and write a review, posting said review on this here Internet.
3.) Include the above image in the review, with a link to www.radiationscarredreviews.com.
4.) Email me the link to your review, and I'll post it on a splash-page.

I'll be accepting links from August 15th through September 1st.

As an added bonus, everyone who sends in a review will be entered in a drawing to win (potentially) fabulous, Bigfoot-themed prizes. What those are, I'm not entirely sure yet. But they'll be (potentially) fabulous.

Roundtable Review

2012-07-31T19:38:00.001-04:00

Attention Criminal Perverts (AKA, Horror Bloggers):

A couple years back we had some pretty groovy success with a week-long celebration of all things shark-related in movies, our SHARKATHALON. I'm not exactly looking to capture lightning in a bottle twice, but I am thinking it'd be cool to host some sort of reviewer's round-table, where everyone picks a movie based on a specific theme, reviews it, sends me the link, I link to them, and everyone gets some publicity.

I haven't picked a theme yet, but I have a few ideas:

Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Yeti movies

Spanish Cinema (I see so much attention given to Italian Horror, and I genuinely believe Spanish Horror is every bit as rich and diverse)

Werewolves

Ripoffs of Bigger, Better Films

I'm also open to any other suggestions, and I'll probably take all the options and, in a day or two, put them up for a vote.

Who's interested?

And just a reminder, newer reviews can be found at our sister site, Radiation-Scarred Reviews.

Looking to Clear Some Space

2012-03-27T10:19:00.000-04:00

AKA, Who Wants Some Movies?

I'm clearing a lot of duplicates and films that I'm just not likely to watch again out of my collection, and figured I'd make them available to any who want them. Here's the list:

300 (Gerard Butler yells at what appear to be Orcs dressed as Persians)

The Amazing Transparent Man (pretty good sci-fi mystery; earliest depiction, to my knowledge, of realistic radiation poisoning)

Batman and Robin (1949 serial; Commissioner Gordon went on to "star" in Plan 9 from Outer Space)

Blood Thirsty (lesbian vampire softcore; DVD case was chewed up by the dog of the guy who gave it to me, but disc itself is fine)

Brotherhood/Brotherhood II (collegiate warlocks)

Deep Blood (Italian JAWS knock-off with a The Fog-esque supernatural element)

Doctor Jekyll vs. The Wolfman (Spanish horror superstar Paul Naschy plays both title roles)

Crocodile Dundee

ARB (Cambodian vampire flick. Engrish subtitles)

Prey (Peter Weller must protect Bridget Moynehan from a pride of lions)

Princess of Mars ("mockbuster" from The Asylum made to capitalize on Avatar/John Carter)

Pathfinder (Viking child raised by Native Americans must protect his adopted family from his biological family)

Parasite EVE (Japanese horror/thriller based on a video game)

The Quick and the Dead (Sharon Stone is a bounty hunter in the Old West)

Evil in the Deep (spy thriller with a side-order of controlled sharks)

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings (widescreen basic release)

The Crater Lake Monster (a dinosaur rises from suspended animation to wreak havoc in a small town)

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (direct-to-DVD sequel to Paul Verhoeven's propaganda video)

The Monster Walks (haunted house/killer monkey movie)

The Maim Event (ultra-low-budget independent film about murders on an independent-wrestling circuit)

Leprechaun/Leprechaun 2 (still plastic-wrapped; come for Warwick Davis making terrible jokes, stay for Jennifer Aniston's original nose)

The Last Shark (Italian JAWS rip-off so close to the original Universal sued to prevent it being released in the USA)

The Hive (killer ants versus a team of high-tech exterminators)

Caress of the Vampire (cheesy lesbian vampire softcore from the early 90s)

She-Wolves of the Wasteland (all-female ripoff of Mad Max)

Razor Blade Smile (vampire assassin on a rampage)

The Shark's Cave (aliens use mind-controlled sharks to kidnap fishermen in the Bermuda triangle)

Skull Heads (Charles Band's obsession with movies about killer puppets continues)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986; Dennis Hopper versus Leatherface and Co.)

The Spirit (Frank Miller's tribute to Will Eisner's comic-book superhero)

RIP James Arness (5/26/23 - 6/3/11)

2011-06-03T16:15:00.003-04:00

James Arness passed away today at 88.

RIP Yvette Vickers

2011-05-02T19:32:00.002-04:00

Yvette Vickers, star of such films as ATTACK OF THE 50-FOOT WOMAN and ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES, has died. Apparently, a year ago. Her body, upon being found, was described as "mummified." This is shameful that no one kept better tabs on her, for her to have laid dead in her house for a year.

May Eve

2011-04-30T08:13:00.003-04:00

Tonight, readers, is May Eve; otherwise known as Walpurgis Night. You know what that means?

I'm having a Paul Naschy mini-marathon, starting with THE WEREWOLF VS. THE VAMPIRE WOMAN, aka LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS.

We're coming back!

2011-04-01T15:37:00.003-04:00

Greetings, readers, just a head's up (on a pole) that the review end of RSR is coming back as our webmaster, the Vault Master, puts things back together. So you get to re-experience classic reviews! Soon I'll be back reviewing new stuff...Lord knows I've got enough new stuff to review!

Going on Sabbatical

2011-03-22T07:52:00.003-04:00

After two and a half years (almost) of effectively doing nothing but write about movies, I'm feeling pretty burned out with horror. It's a rare event that I get to watch a film for pleasure, rather than analysis, and my hobby is definitely feeling like a chore.

So I'm taking a break. Radiation-Scarred Reviews is, in essence, closed for business until further notice.

Some news and a con report

2011-03-14T20:17:00.011-04:00

Greetings, readers. As some of you may have noticed, our new main review page, www.radiationscarredreviews.com, is down for the time being. Hopefully it'll be back in a day or two.

In cheerier news, I attended Monster Mania XVII this past weekend. I never got around to getting myself hooked up to the 'net while I was there, so no daily reports to be had. So, here's a quick recap:

Drove down Friday alone -- Dan was unable to join me. The roads around Cherry Hill are STILL god-awful. I think I circled the hotel three times trying to get into the parking lot. The first thing I saw upon stepping into the hotel was Kane Hodder shaking some hands.

Got myself settled, then met up with Jordan "Vaultmaster" Garren and our friend Greg. These two would be my most constant companions throughout the weekend. Friday was fairly low-key -- I met and got autographs from David Hedison, Jill Schoelen and Fred "The Hammer" Williamson, some drinking went on, dinner at the bar and a late-night snack at the "King of Pizza" down the street with Jes Karakashian -- friend, artist, Fright-Rags peon -- and her husband Tony.

Saturday morning, my girlfriend Gina and her parents came up to visit, and I was very pleased to be her guide for her first horror convention. We mostly laid low, visiting some friends and introducing her to them, and shopping. Oh, the shopping. I bought so many damn DVDs...Lloyd Kaufman, mastermind behind Troma Studios and creator of the Toxic Avenger, stopped in for a few hours and I was fortunate enough to get a chance to speak with him briefly and get his autograph. Saturday night we had dinner with Jordan and Greg, then back to their room for some Mystery Science Theater 3000 before heading down to catch a screening of NIGHT OF THE DEMONS. Alvin Alexis, star of the film, ended up sitting right next to Gina and laughing through the whole thing.

Sunday we woke up late (damn you, Daylight Savings Time), had a leisurely breakfast, took one last spin through the vendor's room to say our goodbyes, and I surprised Gina with a T-shirt with a Cyberman on it and a poster of a pop-art illustration of David Tennant as Dr. Who. Around noon, Gina set out for home and so did I. Using the restroom one last time before leaving the hotel, as I'm washing my hands I hear, "Hey -- aren't you Bill Adcock? I love Radiation-Scarred Reviews!" -- it's Geof Cappodanno from Enter the Man-Cave! What a place to meet...

Arriving home, I discovered to my chagrin that not everything I'd purchased at the con made it home with me -- three prints (The Blob and the Ghost Busters in the same style as the Dr. Who print I bought Gina, and a Godzilla illustration by Jeff Zornow), a custom sketch by Zornow, and the Toxic Avenger poster autographed by Lloyd Kaufman had been left on the bed in an envelope, and a call to the hotel brought me the news that they'd been thrown out. Damn!

My final haul in terms of loot from this convention is as follows:

DVDs
TerrorVision
The Wizard of Speed and Time
Rawhead Rex
The Crater Lake Monster
Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster
It Came From Beneath the Sea
Five Million Years to Earth
Godmonster of Indian Flats
There's Nothing Out There!
Santo vs. the She-Wolves
Radioactive Dreams
Demon Divas and the Lanes of Damnation
Mutant Hunt
Robot Holocaust
Elves
Nukie
Poultrygeist
Blades/Blood Hook/Zombie Island Massacre Triple Feature
Devilfish
The Day of the Triffids
Big Tits Zombie
Sons of Kong -- a ten-film boxed set of gorilla movies, most of which I already owned, but I found the "pop-up book" style DVD case irresistible.

Wearables
Bride of Re-Animator T-shirt (Fright-Rags)
Creature from the Black Lagoon wooden pendant
3 Troma buttons
"Ernest Borgnine Fan Club" button
Jurassic Park - Park Ranger iron-on patch
Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense iron-on patch
US Antarctic Research Team 1982 iron-on patch
Nautilus (Jules Verne) crewmember iron-on patch

Toys
The Fly bobblehead
Mezco Silent Screamer -- Dr. Caligari action figure
Mezco Silent Screamer -- Edison's Frankenstein action figure
Mezco Silent Screamer -- Knock (Nosferatu) action figure
Mezco Silent Screamer -- Jekyll and Hyde 1920 action figure

Autographs
David Hedison
Jill Schoelen
Fred "The Hammer" Williamson

And now, a few more pictures from this weekend...

Yes, that's Norman Reedus (BOONDOCK SAINTS, THE WALKING DEAD) holding a doll of himself.

My Acting Debut

2011-02-21T08:19:00.002-05:00

Yes readers, Bill here, with the news that not only have I been writing about cheesy low-budget monster movies, I actually had the opportunity to appear in one...SNOW SHARK: ANCIENT SNOW BEAST is filming right now in Lockport, NY, and upon visiting the set, yours truly was asked to step in and play the part of "Chuck," a chauvinist pig in a bar. A role of such nuance and variety, played by an actor of such versatility, such...you get the idea.

You can read my whole experience on the set of SNOW SHARK here. And if you want to chip in a few bucks to make SNOW SHARK the best snow shark movie it can be, you can do so at the IndieGoGo page.

RIP Tura Satana, 1938-2011

2011-02-06T11:44:00.001-05:00

The one thing you’ve got to remember is that you just never accept defeat. Remember to never let life get you down, because there is always something new to learn tomorrow. Life is to be lived, and lived well.” - Tura Satana (July 10, 1938 – February 4, 2011)

Tura and I, Chiller Theatre April 2010

Roger Corman

2011-01-22T15:05:00.001-05:00

hates letting me have money. Why else would he make such wildly entertaining films, if not to make me buy them?

Takin' a Vacation

2011-01-12T18:01:00.003-05:00

Hey readers, just letting y'all know I'm going out of town first thing tomorrow morning and won't be back until late afternoon on the 17th. I'm not bringing my laptop with me, so there will be no new reviews during this period.

Fight Scenes

2011-01-09T10:55:00.002-05:00

I went to see SEASON OF THE WITCH yesterday, and something struck me. What the hell has happened to fight scenes in movies?

Watch...hell, any action movie from the '80s or earlier, even into the '90s. You can see what happens! Every shot choreographed, filmed in real-time so you can follow the fight.

Watching SEASON OF THE WITCH, the fight scenes in the opening montage are in that goofy 300-style "slow everything down, then SPEED IT UP TO EMPHASIZE THE HITS!" combat. But the rest of the fights are presented via a series of lightning quick cuts - three seconds of Nicolas Cage hitting someone, three seconds of Ron Perlman hitting someone, three seconds of Cage getting hit and hit back, three seconds of Perlman...it's goddamn disorienting, and I'm sick of it.

Anybody else?

RIP Anne Francis, 1930-2011

2011-01-03T13:31:00.002-05:00

Good night, Alta.

Auld Lang Syne Part II

2011-01-01T13:29:00.002-05:00

So my grand tally for last night, between 6 pm and midnight, was RAW FORCE (an "I don't even fucking know what this is, but it's entertaining"), SAVAGE MAN, SAVAGE BEAST (A "Mondo" pseudo-documentary), WOMEN'S CAMP 119 (Italian Nazisploitation) and TORTURED ANGELS (A Hong Kong "Women in Prison" flick set in a girl's reform school). Not a bad way to ring in the new year, I'd say. And here's to 2011 being the year of Weird Movies!

***

So far today I've alphabetized my DVD collection, as well as going through it to pull out things I'm likely to never watch again and don't know why I own them. Seriously, what was I thinking when I bought NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE? We have a set of shelving that used to hold the family's VHS collection for many years, now sitting empty, so I cleaned it up and moved the bulk of my collection into it. The shelves that used to hold a family of four's VHS tapes? Holds my DVD collection from A through HIDEOUS SUN DEMON. Then THE HIVE through THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING takes up a shelf I made a while back by duct-taping milk crates together, and ROBOT MONSTER through ZOMBIE STRIPPERS fills one side of my entertainment center. We'll see if I get motivated to do anything else today, because this was seriously almost four hours of work.

Should Old Acquaintance be Forgot...

2010-12-31T21:18:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year's readers. Nothing much going down at Casa del Saucerman tonight; keeping it rather low-key with a series of Grindhouse exploitation flicks.

Started off with RAW FORCE, aka KUNG FU CANNIBALS and...Wow. Yeah. That's about all I can say about this film -- it's insanely incoherent, with zombie samurai, cannibal monks, kung fu, a Hitler look-alike, and seemingly endless T&A. There was some sort of a plot, but damned if I could tell you what it is.

Next up was SAVAGE MAN, SAVAGE BEAST, a "mondo" nature documentary about animals killing each other, animals killing people, people killing animals, bizarre rituals from across the world (check out those guys jerking off in the river to make the animals downstream more fertile!) and naked, urinating hippies. Best of all, penguins having slap-fights.

Right now, I'm watching Bruno Mattei's Nazisploitation film WOMEN'S CAMP 119. I'm still fairly a novice to Nazisploitation, but this isn't too vile yet. Slightly marred by inescapable Dutch subtitles. Again, lots of T&A as women get experimented on.

I'll check in later with the rest of the evening's viewings. I hope to go until Midnight.

Baby it's cold outside...

2010-12-27T18:24:00.004-05:00

And I'm inside, enjoying the last hours of my Christmas vacation with a double feature. Watching THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD right now, gonna pop in THE CRAWLING EYE when it's over. Both cold weather films. I love the exchange of dialogue between Hendry and Nikki when they first re-acquaint.

***

My mother's Christmas present to me this year was a very much appreciated one. I've got a NIGHT OF THE CREEPS poster, 10 x 15 inches. It's been autographed by Tom Atkins, Fred Dekker, Jill Whitlow and Stephen Marshall -- as such I wanted it framed, and because of the odd size could never find a ready-made frame. My mother was kind enough to have the poster custom-framed by a local artisan. It came out beyond awesome, take a look:

***

So one of the simple joys, I think, of every B-movie fan's life is finding out about a title that sounds fun, but is unavailable. Seeking out a copy of the film, whether on bootleg DVD or tattered VHS, becomes a quest, a search for some lost gem. The seeking becomes almost as enjoyable as actually watching. One of my lost gems is 1971's OCTAMAN; a rehash of CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, written and directed by the screenwriter of the original, Harry Essex. Never been able to find it through any of the bootleg sites I frequent, nobody at conventions had it (and most had never heard of it)...well, browsing through titles on Netflix's Instant Watch, I found it. I found OCTAMAN, and immediately gave it a watch. My synopsis and thoughts can be found here. It almost feels anticlimactic to have it on Netflix, like having it become so readily available invalidated my quest. Gee, thanks technology.

Anyways, that's it for me tonight. Talk to you later, peeps!

Two Years of Cinematic Sleaze and Cheese

2010-12-26T14:14:00.003-05:00

Greetings, readers. Two years ago today, I posted my very first review. Today, I re-covered it. Check it out:

Here's the original review.

And here's the new version.

Quite the difference, huh?

Best Yule Tidings to You, the Readers!

2010-12-24T14:27:00.007-05:00

Greetings, readers, Bill here with best wishes for Christmas, Festivus, Saturnalia, and whatever else you choose to celebrate this time of year. Some really amazing stuff has come to me courtesy my friends in the community already, and I wanted to share them with you (i.e., show off my goods).

First off, I got a card from Jenn over at Cavalcade of Perversions:

The, ahem, "lovely" Edith Massey (best known for her work with John Waters, i.e., PINK FLAMINGOS, POLYESTER, etc.) graces us with some unrestrained Christmas sensuality.

Then Jordan, the Vaultmaster over at the B-Movie Film Vault, sent a box that arrived on my doorstep this morning. A massive box. I knew Jordan had intended to send something, but I never imagined he'd send a gift of this magnitude:

Seven DVDs, four VHSes, three stickers, two booklets of coupons for Wendy's frosties, and a reversible Man-Thing poster. Whose swamp-muck physique may or may not incorporate a partridge AND a pear tree.

The flipside of the poster. I'm not sure which side I like better!

A closer look at the DVDs and stickers.

The VHSes. I really need to get me a VCR.

I'm sure I'll have more cool stuff to show in the coming days. Stay tuned and be jealous!

Some changes

2010-12-20T18:13:00.002-05:00

Greetings, readers, Bill here. It's been a while since I've touched this blog, hmm?

It occurred to me that, even if I'm doing reviews over at the new site, I shouldn't neglect this little corner of the 'net that's been my home for almost two years. So I'm going to use this spot as more of a blog, talking about what's going on, horror/B-grade-wise, in my life and some musing on film and horror in pop culture.

***

I'm sitting here watching CANNIBAL! THE MUSICAL and wondering if it would be in bad taste to make a CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST: THE MUSICAL.

***

So I haven't really talked about it here, but I do write for a couple other sites. Here are some recent pieces that I'm pretty proud of:

To Cast Out Fear: A look at the instinctual terrors in the film ALIEN. Part of an on-going tribute to Dan O'Bannon.
A Visit from Shub-Niggurath: A Yuletide parody. With apologies to H.P. Lovecraft and Clement C. Moore.
The Angel of the Bottomless Pit: An analysis of the beliefs of the Cthulhu Cult.

And over at B Through Z I've begun a column called "Classic Camp," in which I take a look at 1950s creature features.

The Tingler
The Mole People

***

Alright, I think that's it for me tonight. Talk to y'all later.

An Announcement, Part Deux

2010-11-07T12:58:00.002-05:00

Greetings, readers, Bill here with another announcement. Our new site, Radiation-Scarred Reviews, is now live, and the first review will be posted tonight.

After some thought, I decided against copying the entire archive here over to that site all at once. Over time, I'll work on copying the reviews I like best over to the new site, while older reviews, ones where I'm less satisfied with the writing, will over time be rewritten to my current standards.