radical hateloss

I Walk the Line

2012-05-09T11:39:00.000-04:00

I walk the line. On one side is the Fat Acceptance Movement and the idea that self acceptance is paramount. On the other side the fitness community and the idea that self improvement is the goal. From my perspective the line is not what divides but rather where the two overlap. The overlap is the magic for me. To me it is where the power of possibility and contentment thrive. Beyond the overlap in either direct seems off balance and stunted in terms of ultimate happiness and achievement of what we want most.

Self Acceptance without Self Improvement Self-Acceptance of our bodies is accepting what they look like in each moment. It’s feeling free from mental anguish day in and day out. Acceptance is realizing that our body is not comparable to someone else’s, that genetically we are different. However acceptance is not complacency. Without a drive to be better, without care of our body - something of the upmost importance is lost. Without self-improvement there is a cap that is put on happiness and contentment. If we are complacent with behaviors that are incongruent with nourishing our bodies or if we are disconnected from our bodies all together- we can’t truly be at peace with ourselves, and isn’t that what self acceptance is all about?

Self-Improvement without Self Acceptance

We can get fit without self acceptance. Some easier than others, but it happens all the time. By force of will we can train and alter our diets- ravenously checking off goals. We can be driven by our ideals and by comparison to others- and it can work, but only to a point. Without self-acceptance, we are always “not good enough.” Always pushing, always fighting- never allowing ourselves to be satisfied. We cannont even celebrate our accomplishments before we are on to the next thing. Without self- acceptance there is a boundary set on contentment and interestingly enough the line may be drawn on our physical improvement as well. Any athlete knows, in order to be our best we must seek out our weakness and embrace it. We must accept that it exists, so that we can begin, slowly and without ego the process of getting better at what is worst. When we are unable to accept we either avoid or quit--- either way we miss the mark on what we want-getting better.

My whole life’s purpose is planted in the overlap. What I strive to do is help women to experience freedom & joy. Freedom and joy can’t happen with out both acceptance and love of our bodies. Acceptance is being okay with what is so that we can be free from mental torment of self and feeling as if we are never quite good enough. Loving our body means taking care of it, giving it what it wants and needs, honoring it as an integral part of ourselves.

I am not in the business of self- acceptance. I am not in the business of self-improvement. I am in the business of both.

Personal Growth: What it's Actually Like.

2012-05-02T13:55:00.001-04:00

Personal growth is a journey that begins from birth; however it really takes off the moment we become conscious about it. It’s from there we begin the journey up a perceived mountain to our self realization….our inner peace…maybe even enlightenment.

The problem with the mountain metaphor is that it lends itself to the idea that one day we will reach an end, finally succeed and never have to go through discomfort again. When we see personal growth as climbing a mountain, any struggle or new pain feels like a step in the wrong direction, when that’s exactly the opposite. Pain and discomfort are the very signals that we are growing. Personal growth is not movement towards a finite destination, but rather a process we will be on our whole lives long.

Someone once explained personal growth to me like this. He said it’s like your moving up levels. When you reach a new level, often times “stuff is shaken loose.” That stuff causes you to drop, but not to where you came from, you never really go back there.

I heard someone say recently this about physical training, “the real training starts when you stop setting personal records.” Personal growth is like that too. Upswings are exhilarating, but they aren’t nearly as powerful as the times when “stuff gets shaken loose.” The time will come when we have to face something we thought we were long since done with. The time will come when we feel painfully misaligned with our values. This is where the seeds of transformation get planted. We will grow again, and it will be marvelous.

In the specific area of our bodies the perceived pinnacle of personal growth tends to perfect health, an unwavering positive body image, a consistent diet and relationship with food. Our growth in relationship to our bodies is always going to be a work in progress. There is not going to be a time when the stars align and we can stop changing. We will age, what works now might stop working, something new probably will arrive that will challenge the very fabric of our being at some point or another.

I have become known for saying “Once you know, you can’t unknow.” We know that our worth is not tied to our body. We know that in order to feel at peace acceptance is necessary. We know that our happiness isn’t ever going to come with a number. Every step we take now is in that direction, even the ones that feel like the old has returned. Stuff will get shaken loose. Even though it may not feel like it, we have not lost ground. We are simply getting ready for the next big step.

Radical Woman Q&A with Filmmaker Julie Wyman

2012-04-25T15:23:00.002-04:00

Today’s Radical Woman Q&A is with award winning filmmaker, performer, writer and professor Julie Wyman. Her acclaimed documentaries include Buoyant and A Boy Named Sue. Her newest film is STRONG!. The film documents the story of Olympic Athlete and Weightlifter, Cheryl Haworth.

Julie, Myself & Cheryl

I was fortunate to meet Julie at the sneak preview of STRONG! at Haverford College in March. Watching the film and talking with Julie after it, it became apparent to me that we shared passion for creating a new paradigm for women and their relationships to their bodies. You will have no doubt about the fact that Julie deserves the title Radical Woman after reading the Q&A!

I also had the chance to meet Cheryl Haworth the subject of the film and was equally taken a back by her awesomeness. In May, Cheryl will be joining me in a live teleconference interview just for women about female strength, bodies, beauty, sport and fitness (For more information click here or register now.)

Without further adieu, meet the Radical Ms. Wyman!

Who are you?
I am Julie Wyman - filmmaker, artist, performer, professor, dancer, swimmer, cook, dogmom.

What do you do?
See above. More specifically, "what I do" is this: I am committed to challenging, confronting, and destroying the cultural and visual logic that produces a sense of bodily dysphoria for many women and many people. Put more positively: I want to encourage and produce images that model a radical sense of beauty and embodiment for people of all sizes, shapes, colors, and with all sorts of abilities.

What makes you radical?
Radical = to get at the roots: The roots of problems like widespread eating disorders, fatphobia, and our culture's ubiquitous bodily dysphoria is a particularly insidious logic that simply cannot comprehend that fat people can be healthy, that a woman like Cheryl can be an elite athlete. This logic is visually created and supported by a certain language of the image. My goal is to create images and stories that pull up, from its roots, and to overturn, this logic.

Describe your own personal journey with your body image, health and/or fitness?
As a child I was very active- I loved gymnastics and swimming and dancing and soccer - not to mention climbing trees, building forts and other outdoor activities. But, I was told, my body wasn't proportioned or shaped ideally to really find success or be seriously encouraged in any of these areas. Instead, surrounded by a family and a larger culture who were afraid of fat and wanted to "nip in the bud" the chance that I might put on extra weight, I became a normal weight kid who was put on diets from the age of nine, and encouraged, with all kinds of incentives to lose 10, 20, 30 pounds. I lost weight, I gained it back, and food and exercise became charged and loaded - certainly separated from any simple sense of their functionality or pleasure. This training to diet chronically, combined with the frequent enough feedback from kids at school and adults as well that I was "funny looking," bred a serious sense of dissatisfaction and bodily dysphoria in me: a sense of being in the "wrong body" with an ever present mandate to change who I was, how I looked. It wasn't until I was in college and developed a feminist perspective on food, body, and weight that I started to understand the cultural and political dimensions of this aspect of my life. At that point, I made a deep-level commitment to myself to try to reclaim and inhabit the body I have, and to not only bear witness, but to try to change, the harmful factors that had contributed to the needless suffering I'd endured through my childhood and teen years. Today, and for most of my adult life, moving is my joy: I love dancing, swimming, hiking, bicycling, yoga. Although I have grappled with injuries, and do still battle at times with the cultural mandate to alter my body rather than accept and embrace it, I do feel like I've transitioned, in adulthood, to a better relationship to my own physicality.

What are your philosophies on food & eating?
Food is hugely important to me; the pleasure and the creativity of cooking, the tasks of preparing and enjoying food with friends and family are incredibly important to the fabric of my everyday life. It would be a denial of everything I hold dear, my priorities in being alive, to sever myself from that experience, or to look at food and eating in a purely utilitarian way.

For me eating "well," i.e. in a way that is taking care of my physical, mental, and emotional health does require a certain discipline - a practice of being honest with myself about what I want and need at any given time- in terms of what food and how much food. This practice requires a certain slowness - patience- which is difficult to come by in the life I lead, but it is one to which I remain dedicated.

I also oppose dieting or regimentation of my diet in any way that is extreme or temporary. I believe in making productive long-term changes in one's eating patterns, but in avoiding crash changes that are difficult for the body to endure, and which usually create a backlash. Most of all, I believe in fostering, in myself and others, a sense of confidence that within each of us is the knowledge we need to make best food/ eating choices we can.

What are your philosophies on fitness?
I don't really like the word "fitness" because it implies "fitting" in to an external model.
I believe in a sense of physical embodiment, a sense of knowledge and active use of one's bodies - in whatever way that makes sense at any given time. I enjoy challenging myself physically and reaching new heights/ building new physical capacities like strength, flexibility, balance, as well as gracefulness and pleasure in movement. This would describe the goal I'd like to strive for: I'm not sure what the word for this is: but it's not "fitness."

What do you have to say about self-love & acceptance?
It's a tough, and ongoing process. It is, in many ways, related to a process of enlightenment, a process, perhaps, of one becoming less all-important to oneself, a process of acknowledging what's there and letting go of what's not. There is, in my experience, no zone that is long-term 100% safe from the societal influences that want to destroy that acceptance. It's bad for capitalism, self-love and acceptance. It takes us out of the market, in some senses, out of the project of trying to fill that empty endless desire. Which is all the more reason to adopt this as a goal.

What message do you want to communicate most to other women?
What if the body you had right now were perfect?

What else do you have to say/share?
Some of what I have to share is visual: I try to carve out/ create visual, visceral experiences with the imagery I create. So see my films. And that will answer this question ;)

You can start by seeing STRONG!. The film will have its television premier on PBS’s Independent Lens this summer, however there are community screenings of the film happening all over the country now. Check to see when the film is showing near you here. If you’re in my neck of the woods (Philadelphia) there is an upcoming showing on May 8^th, to RSVP follow this link. Hope meet you there!

Thank you Julie for taking the time to share yourself with the readers of Radical Hateloss and for doing the important work you are doing in the world!

"What if the body you had right now were perfect?"

-Julie Wyman

Watch the trailer for STRONG!

The Ladies RX Discussion Series: Guilt Free Food

2012-04-16T09:28:00.001-04:00

Last night CrossFit Women from nine states around the country had a conversation about having joyful relationships with food! The special guest for the call was Juli Bauer. Juli is a CrossFit Coach, athlete and blogger. She writes the fabulous food blog, PaleOMG as well as a monthly column for Again Faster.

We talked about our past experiences with guilt around food, why the Paleo way of eating brings us joy, how we experience eating ‘off plan’ and about finding how to best eat for our own bodies.

If you missed the call you can listen to it below or download it here.

Juli & Myself would like to challenge participants and listeners to the call to create a list of their FOOD VALUES.

Your Food Values are a list of your core values around food & eating. Core values are your must haves. They are not ideals or things you’d like to strive for, but rather the things that are essential for you to live by.

Think about what you WANT to do and then ask yourself, ‘WHY DO I WANT TO DO THESE THINGS?’ to find your values. There were some great examples given on the call!

Values are already in you--- you are just naming them. Having your values in front of you can help guide you. You can ask yourself, what am I in alignment with? What am I out of alignment with? What do I choose to be in alignment with now?

Please share with us your Food Values by posting them to comments!

If your participated in the call or listened to it, please take a few moments to give your feedback on this short survey . Thanks!

Congrats to Iris for winning some awesome PaleOMG gear!

An Exercise in Remembering

2012-04-09T10:43:00.003-04:00

PhotoCredit

Life isn’t always about learning something new, often times it’s about remembering something we already know. Today’s post is an exercise in remembering.

I invite you to read the rest of this post with great intention. Perhaps close the door to your office, turn down the radio, turn off the television. Feel free to take time to close your eyes between words. Allow your imagination to run free.

Think of yourself as a child. Choose an age where you felt alive with happiness and possibility. Remember what you looked like at that age. Picture what your hair would look like, what would you be wearing? Perhaps there is a particular photo you identify with this time in your life- if so envision in.

This child lives inside you. She is not the wounded child. This child is innocent and carefree. This child lives in the moment, she knows joy. She is the essence of who you are. She is about to pay you a visit.

Imagine that she comes into the room you are in. Take her energy in. What do you notice about her? How does she move? She, without any apprehension runs over to you and bounces happily onto your lap and smiles widely at you. Then without words, she reaches out and touches her small hands to either side of your face. Notice how her hands feel as they touch you gently.

She looks deeply into your eyes, holding your gaze courageously. Her eyes seem to be searching inside you. They are unrelentless in their search. She is looking for something, something she wants to show you. Something she needs you to see. She finds what she is looking for, you see it the moment she does because her eyes change. Her eyes become like mirrors reflecting back what she wanted you to see. Take in what she is showing you. Allow what she is reminding you of to fully sink in.

What have you just remembered?

How will that serve you?

How can you stay connected to it?

Perhaps find a photo or some thing else that reminds you of that little girl and put it where you will see it everyday.

This post is dedicated to an amazing little girl named Amber.

Oh Darling Tell me More & Snakes Become Ropes

2012-04-05T12:23:00.000-04:00

In Women God and Food, Geneen Roth writes, “Can you imagine how your life would have been different if each time you were feeling sad or angry as a kid, an adult said to you, "Come here, sweetheart, tell me all about it"? If when you were overcome with grief at your best friend's rejection, someone said to you, "Oh, darling, tell me more. Tell me where you feel those feelings. Tell me how your belly feels, your chest. I want to know every little thing. I'm here to listen to you, hold you, be with you."

Wow, I don’t know about you but I am struck by how profound Roth’s words are. The sentiment expressed, makes me a little weepy. The little girl inside me seems to awaken with longing. I think back to my life and wonder, ‘WHAT IF?’ How would my life have been different if someone had said “tell me more,” when I was in tears for being made fun of, instead of helping me make a plan to lose weight. How would my life have been different if my Mom had said “tell me more” when my parents problems upset me, instead of “it’s none of your concern, don’t worry about it.” How would life have been different if my feelings had been ok and had been welcomed?

My life would have been different, however that’s not the way it went down. Most likely it’s not the way your life went down either. We can wish for what wasn’t or we can become the adult we long for to ourselves.

When we notice a powerful emotion we can make a choice to say, "Oh, darling, tell me more.” instead of trying to push or rationalize it away. We can take the time to be with that emotion. Welcome it, no matter how scary it seems. We can give our selves permission to feel it. We can be intensely curious, noticing how it impacts us physically. We can say to the emotion “I want to know every little thing. I'm here to listen to you, hold you, be with you."

Roth describes what happens beautifully, “All any feeling wants is to be welcomed with tenderness. It wants room to unfold. It wants to relax and tell its story. It wants to dissolve like a thousand writhing snakes that with a flick of kindness become harmless strands of rope.”

Snakes become ropes. Captivity becomes freedom. Suffering becomes joy. Stuck becomes possibility.

P.S. If you haven't read Women, God & Food consider doing do. Highly recommened Radical Hateloss reading!

The Ladies Rx Discussion Series: Beyond the Physical

2012-03-27T12:15:00.001-04:00

This Sunday’s topic on the Ladies RX was Beyond the Physical. The discussion centered on the impact that CrossFit has above and beyond the changes in our fitness. Our special guests were Christmas Abbott and Denise Thomas, both CFHQ seminar staff. Unfortunately due to some time zone confusion Denise was only able to join in on the end of the call, but even in the short time she was there- her impact on the conversation was great! A BIG thank you to Christmas & Denise- two ladies the CrossFit Community is lucky to have!

If you missed the call you can listen to it here:

Follow this LINK to download the MP3

All who participated in the call, listen to it or read this post have been issued a challenge!

DESIGN A STRUCTURE

A structure is something you do, say, touch or look at to remind you of something. Denise has the tattoo below that she looks at when things get hard. You don’t have to run out and get a tattoo (unless you want to!), however there are limitless possibilities of what you can do to remind you of your highest possibilities.

Do some thinking about what the intention of the structure is. What does using it connect you back to? What is it for the sake of? What will using it do? It should be a structure you can use right before the WOD, during it, right before a lift or any time in your life when you will have to face difficulty.

Share the structure you have designed by posting to comments!

Thanks again to Christmas, Denise and the participants on the call! Congrats to Sara for winning Reebok Swag from our guests!!

Please take a few moments and take the survey after you have listened to the call!

Link to Survey

Horse First

2012-03-21T15:21:00.001-04:00

This week I attended a conference for professionals working with people with disabilities. The key note speaker talked about how we often think about setting goals according to what is “important for” the individuals we serve. She encouraged a paradigm shift, that we instead focus on what is “important to” them. She said with that subtle shift they would naturally want to work towards their goals. That it would be organic and easy and fun.

I loved what she was saying, and believe it is an essential shift in thinking that will make the quality of life for folks with disabilities better. And I also know, it’s a concept that isn’t just applicable to them. The ‘norm’ of trying to better ourselves according to what is “important for us”—runs throughout our culture. “Important for” are all the “shoulds”. I should exersize, I should eat healthy, I should make more money, I should keep my house clean, I should be a better mother.

“Important to” however are our authentic desires, our wants. I want to feel energized and physically able, I want to live a long and vital life, I want to experience life fully, I want to live in a peaceful environment, I want to help my children to be happy and successful.

What we often do is put the cart before the horse. We laboriously fill the cart with all the shoulds and the goals that go with them. The horse (what we truly want) is there but it can’t push the cart from behind. Try as we might the cart doesn’t seem to move and when it does, it’s very little.

The horse cannot be an after thought. It needs to be cared for and fed. The first step to living the life we want to live- starts with naming our “important to.” When we get the horse set for the journey, suddenly the goals naturally begin to fill the cart. The horse is the engine that allows the doing of life to happen with ease. Sure there is work to be done but it isn’t such a struggle when everything is in order.

I once had a heavy cart and a tiny uncared for horse and I got nowhere. The day I noticed the horse standing there and started to nurture it, my life began to change. I discovered my “important to” was about presence and peace and wholeness. My horse grew (got in front) and the cart began to move with ease.

Today I celebrate my 32^nd birthday, and what am grateful for above all else is that horse. I have come to trust in it, to have faith that it will carry me to the places of my dreams. People ask me all the time about how they can stop struggling and finally be free. It’s a process and different for all, but one thing I do know is that it is vital to put aside the “important for” (maybe for the first time in your life) and embrace what is “important to” them. Magic happens.

A Metaphor in Real Time

2012-03-06T10:35:00.000-05:00

The other night my five year old refused to go to sleep. I myself was exhausted. I let her play some games on my laptop for awhile. I could barely keep my eyes open and as the clock pressed on, I finally told her “lights out.” Enter temper tantrum.

She started crying loudly. I TRIED TO REASON WITH HER. “Honey, you have to go to school in the morning, you have to go to sleep.” She cried louder. I DEMANDED SHE STOP. “You have to stop crying now!” Her crying began to include hiccups and snot bubbles. I THREATENED HER. “You won’t play at your friends for a week.” Her arms and legs joined in, kicking wildly. This is the point where I lost my cool. “CUT IT OUT. STOP CRYING. SHUT UP!” The crying reached fevered pitch with full out convulsions. And that’s when it hit me.

I took a deep breath, pulled her close to me and said “go ahead and cry, I hear you.” I stroked her back and gave her full out permission to express her emotions. I imagine you can guess what happened next. In a few short minutes she was asleep in my arms.

I had just experienced a metaphor, in real time. A metaphor for how our own thoughts and emotions behave. When we experience a negative thought or emotion our reactions are much the same as they were for me with my daughter. We try to rationalize. Trying to convince ourselves why we shouldn’t feel the way we do. We try to reason with the voice that tells us we are not good enough. We try to push the feeling and thoughts away- with shear force of will. And then we reach our breaking point. We can’t take it any longer. We become willing to do whatever it is we need to do to quiet what’s inside, even when it’s self destructive and is out of alignment with who we know ourselves to be (for me this used to involve food, among other things.) All of these methods ultimately fail. The negative feelings and beliefs only seem stronger for all our efforts.

When I gave my daughter the permission to have her negative feelings, they seemed to magically subside. I have experienced the same thing happen when I have welcomed and acknowledged my own thoughts and emotions- instead of trying to bully or escape them. It seems slightly counterintuitive at first- how can I welcome negativity? However it is simply noticing and allowing them to be, that seems takes away their power over us away.

The next time you notice a negative thought or emotion try something different. Instead of getting ready for a fight or running away with self destruction, draw ‘what is’ closer. Tell it you see it, you hear it…allow it to be. Welcome it without prejudice. Notice what happens when you do.

The Ladies RX Discussion Series: Perfection vs. Betterment

2012-03-05T11:07:00.001-05:00

The Ladies RX Discussion Series took on Perfection vs. Betterment last night with special guest Aly Willier of RX Stars. You can find out more about Aly, her workshops and clothing at rxstars.com. If your not already a fan on FaceBook, like it here.

If you missed the call, you can listen to it below or download it here.

At the end of the call Aly and I challenged participants to write a short term goal, something they can accomplish in 7 days. Aly shared on the call, the formula to successful goal setting. Below is a guide for each part of the formula to help you make your short term goal a reality.

CLARITY (Clarity = Strengths + Beliefs x Goals)
“What are my strengths?”
"Why do I want to achieve this goal"?
“What is the purpose and my overall mission?”

FOCUS (See the process of achieving your goals through visualization)
What does the process of you attaining your goals look like?

EXECUTION (Action Steps. Do Work.)
What Action Items and steps that are specific measurable and realistic will you put into place in order to achieve your goals and get results?

Whether you participated live or listen to the recording we invite you to take the challenge. Please post to comments your GOAL - Including CLARITY, FOCUS & EXECUTION. Feel free to return to the post at the end of the 7 days to let us know how it goes!

Thanks to all Aly and all participants for another great conversation and congrats to Trinity for winning a RX Star T-Shirt!
Please take survey below or follow this link after participating in or listening to the call.

The Ladies RX Discussion Series: Accepting Ourselves & Wanting More

2012-02-27T13:12:00.000-05:00

Last night women from all over the country gathered to talk about an important topic that impacts women who CrossFit but also women in general- Accepting Ourselves & Wanting More with Special Guest Sarah Wilson of Fashletics.

We talked about the difference between acceptance and resignation, the struggle to accept and about how acceptance helps us reach our goals, possibilities, and brings the experience of joy and ease. It was a rich conversation that could have gone on way longer than the hour of the call!
If you missed the call you can listen to below or download it here.

Each Ladies RX discussion call ends with a challenge. Whether you were on the call live or listen to it later your are invited to take part!

Sarah and myself, challenge you to write your “Self-Acceptance Principles”

Think about what you want to accept—about your body, about your fitness, about yourself in general and then write a principle for each.

For each aspect you will accept ask yourself,

What are your accepting?
What will acceptance allow you to focus on?
What will acceptance bring?

Each principle can go something like this..

I accept ________, which allows me to ________ so that I ___________.

Some examples….

I accept the weight I can lift each day, which allows me to focus on my form and enjoy the experience, so that I can get stronger and lift the biggest weights possible.

I accept my pants size, which allows me to focus on my fitness so that I can enjoy my workouts and become my fittest self.

I accept my imperfections as a mother, which allows me to be fully present when I am with my children so that I can be the best mother possible.

POST YOUR PRINCIPLES TO COMMENTS!!

Sarah will select one person who posts their principles to the comments of this post to be Fashletic’s Fashlete of the Month in March! The winner will get a handcrafted charm with the inspirational word of their choice!

Congrats to Maggie, a participant in the call who was randomly selected to win a pair of Live, Love, Lift Socks from Fashletics!

A big thanks to the inspiring Sarah Wilson for being the special guest! Keep up the amazing work “inspiring the athlete’s within!”

If you participated in the call or listened to it online please take a few moments to take the survey below or follow this link to access it.

"Does Weight Really Matter?" My Guest Appearance on The Revolution

2012-02-21T10:26:00.002-05:00

I was recently on an episode of ABC daytime talk show, The Revolution.

Watch the clip below:

Clip from Episode

I didn’t get a chance to say much on the show, but as I left the studios that day I felt like I was boiling over with inspiration. I am determined more than ever, to continue to do this work I do in the world- helping women (this generation and in turn the next) to accept and love themselves, so that they can achieve the health and happiness they desperately want.

Watch my video response to my guest appearance:

My Video Response

Changing your perspective to the quality you seek, instead of a quantity may be one of the most important things you do. Please send me a photo or video holding up a sign that affirms, what really matters to you.

Send them to Stephanie@radicalhateloss.com.

You can watch the full episode here:

http://abc.go.com/watch/the-revolution/SH55125775/VD55173235/the-revolution-220

The Ladies RX Discussion Series: The Paleo Diet Without Dieting

2012-02-19T22:05:00.007-05:00

Today we kicked off the Ladies RX Discussion Series, specially designed teleconference calls on topics of interest to CrossFit women with Radical Hateloss themes.

Tonight’s call was entitled The Paleo Diet without Dieting and our special guest was the fabulous Melissa Joulwan! It was truly an awesome call. It's always such an amazing experience to connect with other women! A HUGE thanks to Melissa and each particpant for contributing to this important conversation.

If you are curious about Melissa or the Paleo Diet, be sure to visit Melissa’s blog, http://www.theclothesmakethegirl.com/. Melissa is also the author of Well Fed: Paleo Recipes for People Who Like to Eat. It is a must read, for anyone who likes to eat paleo or just likes to eat! Congrats to Sunny, for being randomly selected to recieve a printed copy of the book!

Didn’t make the call? You’re in luck! You can listen to the recording below or download it here.

At the end of the call Melissa and I gave the participants a challenge….

WRITE YOUR OWN EATING MANIFESTO!

Whether you participated in the call or listened to the recording we invite you to create your own Eating Manifesto (Melissa & myself will be doing it as well!) Please post your manifesto to the comments section of this blog post!

A manifesto is “declaration of principles and intentions.”

What are your guiding principles and intentions when it comes to eating and your relationship with food?

Some questions that may help you write your manifesto…

-What role do you want food to play in your life?

-With whom do you -- or do you not -- want to share the eating experience?

-How do you experience pleasure with food, physically, emotionally and socially?
-Why do you choose to eat as you do, not just in terms of what you eat but how and when?
-What do you eat for the sake of?
-How do you make choices?
-What is the relationship you choose to have with food?

We can get wrapped up in all the specifics of WHAT we are eating or not eating….but there is such power in tapping into the WHYS AND HOWS of our relationship with food. Take this opportunity to NAME what guides your journey towards being WELL FED- not just physically but emotionally as well! Share that manifesto with the world (or atleast melissa, myself and our followers) by POSTING IT TO COMMENTS!

Be sure to check out the upcoming Ladies RX calls, here!

Please take this short survey if you participated in or listened to the call! Your feedback is so important!

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.

Skinny Fat?

2012-02-04T13:57:00.000-05:00

You may have heard the term “skinny fat.” The term applies to people that are thin but are not in shape- lacking muscle tone and a basic level of fitness. Now I don’t like it being used to put down individual people anymore than I like “fat” being used to put down individuals. However there is some value in the concept.

Health & Fitness has nothing to do with being thin, and contrary to popular belief neither does in have much to do with being fat. It is the idea that thin= healthy and Fat=unhealthy that keeps women’s minds and bodies in perpetual suffering.

It shouldn’t matter what we look like. It should matter HOW WE FEEL physically and emotionally. My healthy- looks different than your healthy. Until we can accept that fact, we are stuck feeling not good enough, not being able to love our bodies and instead resenting them.

How easy is it for you to take care of something you resent?

Struggle…neglect…sacrifice.

How easy is it for you to take care of something you love?

Ease…care….joy.

In order to love…YOU MUST ACCEPT. You can’t have one without the other. When you love you will experience the EASE & JOY with physical health and fitness. It’s the only way.

It’s a complicated endeavor this self- acceptance thing. I can’t give you a direct set of instructions on how to do it. I wish that I could. What I do know is that it’s a journey that looks a little different for each of us. I know that it takes identifying with your authentic self, and dis-identifying with your mind. I know that when you do it- your life will open up to you in ways you never could imagine. I know that freedom and joy is possible. And I know it all starts in the moment you decide to choose this path.

I see your possibilities….I challenge you to look in the mirror and choose to see them for yourself.

The Great Crescendos

2012-02-02T13:58:00.001-05:00

There have been times in your life when you have experienced a crescendo.

Times when you felt vibrant and alive, connected to yourself or another human being.

Times when your mind quieted and judgment fell away.

Times when creativity filled your veins and the next stroke just appeared.

Not every moment can be a crescendo. After all, It is the rise and fall that makes ecstasy, ecstasy. However living life can be like a symphony- sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes quiet, sometimes loud and every in between. Lots of room for glorious crescendo.

However there are times that we are living more like elevator music, than a symphony. As much as a crescendo sounds so good, we can’t seem to play anything but flat.

Our fears and doubts and insecurity, trump the music of our hearts. We play a song that might be boring, but at least its safe and we know the tune.

What would change if we answered doubt and insecurity with faith? Faith in our highest selves. Faith that the internal critic says what it does simply to maintain the status quo.

What would change is we answer fear with trust? Trust in the unfolding of our lives. Trust in the idea that fear is not a foe but an ally. Fear filtered through out authentic self at times keeps us safe and others lets us know we are about to do something worth doing.

With faith & trust--- the great crescendos.

Constant Crossroads

2012-01-26T11:19:00.000-05:00

Today’s post is by a writer, CrossFitter and mother of three named Leah Thompson. I have had the pleasure of being Leah’s life coach over the past six months. I am humbled and excited by the transformation that had happened in Leah’s relationship with her body over those months. Leah came to coaching wanting to get off what she called the roller coaster of waging war with food and her body. She has done just that.

Leah wrote the post below (not knowing it would be published anywhere), after one of our sessions. I think it speaks to one of the coolest things that I am noticing with my coaching clients that come to work on their body images issues. They find that once they “get off the roller coaster” a world much bigger than their bodies open to them. The possibility of the life they were born to live- begins to manifest. That it the miracle and the motivation for this work.

Thanks so much Leah for this most awesome contribution to Radical Hateloss. Please check out Leah’s blog at leahthemom.blogspot.com

Constant Crossroads

By Leah Thompson

Everyday we stand before an infinite amount of possible choices laid out before us. Some paths are obvious. Maybe they are familiar roads we travel frequently, on automatic pilot. The choice to travel these roads doesn't require much thought or challenge. They are 'safe'. Even if we don't particularly like the outcome of these paths, the result of this decision is ingrained in our habits and behaviors and therefore not as scary to choose.

Then there are unknown paths. The ones where the entrance is overgrown with trees and dark and seems scary from the start. We think they will be harder to navigate. The outcome of this decision is unpredictable. But what if just beyond that rough start is smooth sailing, sunny meadows filled with flowers and rainbows and butterflies and blue skies?

It takes bravery and courage to choose the path less traveled at the crossroads. If you take the time to feel the energy of the unknown path and just BE with the decision to take a chance, there is excitement there. Possibility. Hope. The unknown can be exhilarating, not terrifying. The problem with choosing the same old pattern/path you always do is you know what the end results are going to be. While this path may be 'safe' it’s also not going to take you anywhere new.

Let's talk about the invisible paths present at the crossroads. The tangents life takes us on that we don't even know we're on. What if we could consciously choose an option for ourselves that wasn't even on the table at first glance? Create an entire new existence for ourselves just by choosing to not do what we've always done? I love the quote about insanity is doing the same thing over and over exactly the same way and expecting different results.

How can you get to where you want to be? Stop doing what you've always done! There is a choice, every second of every day in everything you do. We have the chance to change our destiny and chose, or better yet, CREATE the path we want to be on. And we all have the strength, right now, to do it.

What We Want Most.

2012-01-19T13:04:00.000-05:00

What we want most seems to be different…

Some of us want to lose weight, to be healthier and happier.

Some of us want to look in the mirror and love our body despite its imperfections.

Some of us want live a consistent healthy lifestyle aligned with our beliefs and values.

What we want may seem different but the truth is, we all want the same thing.

We want FREEDOM.

We want our relationships with our bodies to be easy, joyful & effortless. We are imprisoned by countless time spent figuring it out, trying something new, beating our self up, and then beating ourselves up again because we beat our self up in the first place. The energy invested in the struggle seems wasted- we can only imagine what we could do with it- if it didn’t get used up in vain.

With the new year- most health and fitness businesses are offering programs designed to help you get what you want. They may challenge you to lose weight, or give up sugar, or adopt a new way of eating.

Here is what I know: In order to get what you want- you must first get what you want most….Freedom. I too have a challenge for you.

I challenge you to do nothing.

For just one week…

….eat what you want.

… move when you want to, rest when you don’t

….think and feel whatever it is that you do.

There is one thing that you have to do.

You have to pay attention.

Pay attention to how your body feels, how it reacts to what you choose. Notice your thoughts and your emotions, without attempting to change them or discount them.

Stepping back and getting curious seems like nothing- but trust me it’s HUGE.

After one week- you can go back to how you have been doing things all along. What do you really have to lose? Why not give it a try?

"To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work." -Mary Oliver

A Radical Women Q & A with 17 year old CrossFitter Darby Nelson

2012-01-03T20:38:00.000-05:00

"Remember that at the end of the day, it’s not what others think about you, rather it’s how you hold and view yourself. " -Darby Nelson

I met Darby Nelson a few months ago at a local CrossFit competition. The first time I saw her that day she was smiling ear to ear, talking with CrossFit All-Star Christy Phillips. Most 17 year olds idolize pop stars for their looks, but here was Darby excited to meet Christy, famous among the CrossFit Community for her physical fitness.

After the event I got to talk with Darby more. I found out she got to participate in the CrossFit Games in 2011, in the teen competition. I also found out she is impressively strong; with personal records in CrossFit workouts and lifts women older than her would love to have.

It was obvious to me that Darby was not your AVERAGE young lady- so it only seemed fitting that she be featured in a Radical Woman Q&A. She is the youngest, but as you will see from the answers she is very wise for her age.

Tell me about Darby Nelson?

Well, my name is Darby Nelson. I am a 17-year-old female. I’m a senior in high school and a (near) future United States Naval Academy midshipman. CrossFit is a big part in my life, both helping coach and training myself; I also row for my high school and am a huge nerd when it comes to my class schedule.

You are a CrossFitter (with a pretty impressive record I'd say!). How has crossfit changed your relationship with your body? Why do you think that is?

CrossFit has completely transformed my relationship with my body. I think when discussing bodily changes it is best to talk about nutrition. As they say working out is one hour but good nutrition plays into the other 23hours of the day. I came from a rowing background where (and any rower can attest to this) the more food consumed, the better. We, as rowers, eat before practice, after practice, and there have been a few been times where people have eaten during practice on the water. In the rowing world, socializing over food is the most prominent way of bonding off the water.

Entering the doors of my CrossFit gym, there are these crazy words being constantly thrown around like ‘paleo,’ ‘primal,’ and ‘zone.’ CrossFit has shown me that it is truly important about when and what foods I’m putting into my body. Now, I’m not going to lie, I’m not100% strict paleo… I wouldn’t even give myself the benefit of the doubt to say I’m 80/20, but I do try to follow the guidelines. (Please, don’t belike my father. They are guidelines. Robb Wolf is not God and Paleo Solution cannot be found in the religion section of Barnes and Noble.) There’s a big difference between coming from a world of eating anything to a world of eating anything that’s good for you.

You like clearly enjoy exercise - what advice would you give other women about how they can enjoy working out?

Do it with your friends. CrossFit is so powerful because of the community we constantly harp about. It’s not just that you have friendly faces to look at while you’re constantly suffering, but you have mutual subjects to chat about, friends to give you grief when you don’t show up, and people to cut your calluses with.

Also, and this is a big one for me, remember to keep it light. We can all get way too enveloped in doing CrossFit, talking about CrossFit, competing in CrossFit, and watching CrossFit videos. Remember: we do it because it’s fun; if you forget this you are probably going to burn out.

How is your relationship with your body different than those of your peers?

I’ll start by reiterating that I am a seventeen-year-old girl. Let’s take a moment to think back about what it’s like to be a girl in high school…

Remember those boy-crazy, make up-covered, high heel-wearing days? Yup, those are my peers and that’s the complete opposite of who I am. Also, being that my arms are bigger than most of my female peers’ legs, I’m quite used to getting judged for my size. Most of my friends and acquaintances think all the stuff I do is cool but I do often get second-glances from people that don’t know me. It is actually quite funny to me because I know of multiple guys that are scared of me for my size, as they probably should be! It’s good for me though, I have a pretty good reputation and no one usually messes with me.

Darby pulling 335lbs for a national record!

What really matters to you in terms of your body?
For my body I want to be strong and healthy as possible. I do CrossFit to prepare for my rowing and to prepare for my time at the Academy, but more importantly to be ready for anything. My friends love to make me help them move because a 335-pound deadlift really comes in handy more times then you’d think when trying to move that couch you’re sitting on!!

What would you say the biggest struggle girls your age have with their body image? What do you think would change it?

Being attractive doesn’t mean being a stick figure. In this day and age girls focus too much on what the media and popular culture says is “pretty” and “beautiful” rather than deciding that themselves. Media has become such a staple in our lives that it wants us to believe that these “pretty/beautiful” people are the healthy ones, as opposed to those who work hard, eat well, and live long. A man who thinks that Camille LeBlanc-Bazinet and Lindsay Smith aren’t attractive should be slapped across the face. I’d say do some research and make up your own mind as to what the ‘best’ body image is; I bet a lot of girls out there would be surprised at what they found.

If you could convince the little girls of the next generation one thing in relation to health, fitness or body image what would it be?

Strong is sexy - in more ways than just physical. Being able to think and act for yourself is such a powerful feeling. Mental, emotional, and physical strength will support a lifestyle that’s desired by most and held by few. Remember that at the end of the day, it’s not what others think about you, rather it’s how you hold and view yourself.

What makes you radical?

I’ve been in control of my life and unaffected by people’s opinions of me. I am head captain of my crew team, will graduate high school with over a 4.0 GPA, have set a national record for deadlifting, and will become a commissioned Naval officer. I think I’m doing just fine in my own non-traditional ways. I’d suggest you give it a try and see how it works for you!

I am so glad there are young women out their like Darby, moving to the beat of their own drum, challenging ideals, redefining convention. Thanks to Darby for taking her time to for this Q&A. I have no doubt that she will be successful in whatever is she does in life and that she will have a positive impact on many people, especially other women her age, and in turn the next generation.

Attention CrossFitters…

Coming soon in 2012 the Radical Hateloss Discussion Series for women who CrossFit. Please take a few moments to complete this survey. If you or someone you know, would be a perfect special guests for one of these calls- please contact me at Stephanie@radicalhateloss.com

Tips for Falling Back in Love with your Body in the New Year!

2011-12-30T14:26:00.000-05:00

Lets face it, you once were madly in love with your body. As a baby you delightfully discovered your fingers and toes. As a child you bravely ventured together into the unknown world…jumping, running, playing together.

As it happens with even the most exciting love affairs…sometimes things go wrong. Where and when we may not know, but somehow our relationship switched from joyful and easy to unhappy and difficult.

Good news is you’re here reading this blog, which probably means you are willing and ready to rekindle the love. Here are my tips for falling back in your most intimate relationships the one with your physical being.

Speak Kindly

If the only way you ever spoke about your lover was in negatives and criticisms, what would that do to the relationship? Pay attention to how you speak about your body, and commit to not trashing your thighs or mid section every chance you get. Instead speak kindly. You may not love parts of your body, but the question is can you accept them? If you stop speaking negatively, your body will be happier- but the added bonus- You can be a RADICAL role model for other women- particularly the young ladies in your life.

Have Fun

Having fun together is crucial to any relationship. If you already know what physical activity you enjoy- find a way to do it. Perhaps you used to play soccer or do gymnastics as a kid; find a recreation league or adult gymnastics class. If you never have found a physical activity you enjoy- go out and try anything that seems interesting. When you are open, you just might be surprised what opportunities will magically arrive. Besides, If you are enjoying physical activity- you won’t need a resolution to keep up with it.

Eat Together

Sharing a meal- one of life’s most ancient forms of intimacy. So many of us spend our time eating without taking the time to be with our bodies as we eat. Start inviting your body to the table more often. Eat atleast a meal a day fully present- without the telephone, remote, computer or steering wheel. Pay attention to how the food tastes, smells, feels in your mouth- to how it makes your body feel. You just might experience a new joy eating foods that are healthy for your body and be able to enjoy pleasure foods without guilt.

Discover What’s Really Important

Sometimes there comes a point in a relationship when counterparts need to sit down to figure out what it is that is really important to both of them. You may want to be a specific size or weight but chances are your body cares more about how it feels then how it looks. What is the common ground you both want? What would feeling happy everyday for both you and your body look like? What are the qualities (instead of quantities) that would satisfy both of you. Figuring out what is important is key to choosing behaviors in alignment with your values. What might change when you decide what you do and don’t do everyday according to whether it honors your values instead of because it is a means to an end?

Are you ready for a radical 2012? What seems impossible now….is possible. I know it, and you will too. Happy new years!!

Thank You!

2011-12-21T13:53:00.001-05:00

The holidays are an opportunity for me to look back at my previous year, think about what I have accomplished as well as when I have learned. I also think about all of the people I am grateful for, all those that have impacted my life over the previous year.

This year I am particularly grateful for all of you, those who have supported Radical Hateloss.

Whether you have simply took the time to read my posts, commented on them or sent me an email letting me know you appreciate my message…Thank You.

Whether you have done a sample session with me, worked with me for a few months or are my coaching client now….Thank You.

Whether you have shared my link, interviewed me, or just told someone about my website….Thank You.

Whether you have been featured in a post or simply seen some part of yourself in one…Thank You.

Whether you have helped me grow as a person professionally or personally….Thank You.

This year I have learned that I can help others to live more fulfilled lives, to experience joy and ease and freedom with their bodies. Making the jump from experiencing that miracle in my own life to watching it unfold in the lives of others is humbling and exhilarating. I feel so blessed to be able to be doing this important work in the world. THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME IN WHATEVER WAY THAT YOU DO!

There are women all over this land, ready for a radical new way to finally be free from the struggles with there body. I plan on being apart in as many of their transformations as possible in this New Year and beyond.

Wishing you and yours a happy and healthy holiday season! See you in 2012!

In Love & Peace,

Stephanie Vincent

P.S. THANK YOU to my husband, kids & mother for supporting me in all of my endevours! And a special thanks to a dear friend, Hal who is no longer in this world- your were always one of my biggest cheerleaders- I love you and miss you very much.

Fierce Courage

2011-12-15T14:44:00.000-05:00

Changing your relationship with your body is going to take fierce courage.

You’ve got a lifetime of practice under your belt of beating yourself up- worried about numbers or how you look. The easy way is to continue to do what you know best.

Changing your beliefs- that is the road less traveled, but it’s the only road that leads to you living a life of JOY and EASE and FREEDOM.

You must summon the courage to look conventional wisdom, and its allies in the face and say,

“NOT ME, NOT ANYMORE.

I know my worth, and it isn’t measured on a scale or on a tag.

What matters to me is not what I will look like tomorrow but how I feel today.

I am not at odds with a body that isn’t good enough, but rather allies with my physical being that is an essential part of who I am- in every moment no matter how it looks.”

It’s going to take practice and dedication to change your norm. New challenges will arise that threaten the new system you’ve put in place. Every once and awhile you will stumble and maybe even fall.

But rest assured-- once you know, you can’t unknown.

Have fierce courage and unstoppable faith in that knowing- you can change YOUR world, and in turn begin to change the world for all of us.

The Roach Problem

2011-12-08T12:19:00.000-05:00

Call it what you will.

Gremlin. Ego. Saboteur. Negative Self Talk.

It’s the voice in our heads that says, “You are not good enough.”The exact words are different for each of us but the sentiment is the same.

It keeps us small. It keeps us from going for it. It keeps our lives the same, in endless loops repeating the same experiences over and over again.

You are at the point where you are aware of this voice, but yet you seem to have no ability to overcome it. You try to ignore it. You try to replace it with positivity. You try to argue with it. And yet there it is- seemingly running the show. It doesn’t allow you to accept yourself. It doesn’t allow you to enjoy your successes. It doesn’t allow you to be free from guilt and fear- so that you can enjoy your life (and your body).

That negative voice is like roaches.

You can try to ignore an infestation, but it only gets bigger

You can try to put out flowers to make things better, but they are still there.

You can try to squash them one by one, and be battling forever.

Or you can turn on the light. In the darkness they will be crawling all over you, but in the light they scatter and hide.

You turn on the light by acknowledging that voice with full consciousness. Not trying to ignore it, replace it or change it- but simply noticing it. To notice it is to separate from it, for it is not you. It has no real power until you believe it by living from it unconsciously or by giving it enough credit to argue with it.

It may sound radical but try saying YES to the voice the moment that you notice it. Fully welcome it into the full light of your consciousness, and see what happens.

The more practice you have turning on the light, the easier it becomes to leave it on or turn it back on again when it goes off. The negative thoughts like roaches without darkness cannot feed, and their numbers will decrease over time.

Just imagine…what will become possible when you have all the time and energy you spend ignoring, replacing and fighting that voice?

You need to be more DISCIPLINED!

2011-11-25T14:41:00.004-05:00

This is a repost from June 16, 2011

When you think about the word discipline, what comes to mind?

Perhaps- will power, sacrifice, difficulty, pain….

Why in the world would any of us want to be self-disciplined with those connotations?

It's no wonder we seem to ultimately fail at our attempts to discipline ourselves into making changes in our lives!

But perhaps if we changed how we think about discipline, things would be different.

The word discipline comes from the word disciple. A disciple is a follower of the doctrines of a teacher or a school of thought. Most notably were the Disciples of Christ. Devoted followers, who gave up all else to commit their lives to their savior.

What if self-discipline was the act of following what you are devoted to, committing your life to your highest self? What if you gave up fear, insecurity & inadequacy and committed your life to that self?

What if you, were your own savior?

To become a disciple of your own highest self, first you must find her. She can be found in the quiet space in between your thoughts. She can be found when your body is alive with energy, when you are doing something you love. She can be found in the joy you feel when your deeply connected with another human being. She knows nothing of numbers on a scale or clothing tags. She only knows wholeness, beauty and contentment. She revels in your uniqueness.

You may have heard this one before, “You need to be more self disciplined!” Indeed!!! Follow your self. Follow her before all others. Allow her to lead you to behaviors that are aligned with your greatest good. Discipline will no longer require will power, sacrifice, difficulty and pain. Instead discipline creates natural flow, giving in, ease and JOY.

How might your life change, if you became a disciple of your highest self?

"We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be."

~Jane Austin

The Intrinsic Motivation for Healthy Behaviors

2011-11-03T12:20:00.001-04:00

Source

What motivates you to eat well & exersize?

Perhaps losing weigh.

What happens when the numbers don’t move down fast enough, or stop?

Might be the promise of a cheat meal or a purchase at the mall.

What happens when the sacrifice is no longer worth the reward?

Maybe getting “healthy.”

What happens when immediate changes aren’t evident?

You just may have something to prove to someone in your life.

What happens when the win- turns out to be unsatisfying?

Could be the thrill of zipping up those size jeans.

What happens when you zip and find…it’s still not enough

You quit. You stop. You go back to old behaviors, old habits and unconscious ways out of alignment with your highest good.

What might be different if your motivation didn’t live in some future moment, but rather in each bite, in each movement?

Intrinsic Motivation- Joy, Pleasure, Immediate Reward, Satisfaction.

If you love your body without condition…

Caring for it is Joyful.

Choosing behaviors in alignment with self-love is pleasurable

A sense of wellness is the immediate reward

Nothing needs to change in order for you to be satisfied- the love itself is satisfying.

Acceptance won’t stop you from your highest physical possibly. It is the key, to being able to love yourself enough to experience how effortless healthy choices can feel. It is loving yourself now (no matter how now looks) that provides intrinsic motivation to eat the foods and engage in the physical movement in your best interest.

There are all kinds of places and people that have given you the message that you need to change something to be good enough. That is a BOLD FACE LIE…..I know it and YOU know it…It’s probably the reason you are reading this blog.

Your challenge, A one week experiment: Live from the part of you that knows a physical change is never going to make you happy. Accept yourself- choose to be happy now in your current skin. Tell yourself you believe you have nothing to do, or change or prove or be to be enough. Love yourself completely.

Too daunting even for a week? Fake it! Pretend you are someone else you see as someone who exhibits self love and acceptance. Play the role...just for the week.

As you make choices about food and movement during the week, ask yourself “what is in alignment with my love?” Do that (no matter what the answer is). Be curious about the experience of the intrinsic motivation of self love. What feels different about the experience? How does it change things?

What Does Living From Your Authentic Self Really Mean?

2011-10-27T12:23:00.000-04:00

Living from your authentic self- it sounds like a spiritual and evolved thing to do, but what the heck does that mean, really?

Let’s try a little experiment.

In a moment I want you to try not to think. Once you stop thinking, wait for the first thought to appear. When it does, just notice it.

DO IT NOW.

Who is the you that waited and watched the thought?

You are not your thoughts, as you are not your emotions.

The authentic you is separate from thoughts and emotions, yet connected; connected to others, and connected to all that is.

You have at times lived from your authentic self. The experience of time standing still, being completely in the moment without having to work at it, feeling brilliantly alive.

You inhabit the authentic self naturally when you’re doing something you love, when you’re experiencing life’s most memorable moments, when you connect intimately with others, when you experience extreme pleasure and even extreme pain or physical intensity.

Living from your authentic self however means consciously choosing it in the moments that it’s not so easy. Moments that are boring and humdrum. Moments that are uncomfortable. Moments when your thoughts and emotions are taking you on a roller coaster ride you can’t seem to get off of.

Why live from your authentic self?

Your authentic self remains constant. It is unchanged by circumstance, unchanged by your environment, unchanged by your thoughts or your feelings. The authentic self is always whole, always complete, always there with you.

Living from that wholeness is freedom. When circumstance, environment, thoughts and feelings arrive- you are able to notice them and make choices in alignment with your highest good (rather than react or feel trapped by them)

The concept of living more fully from the authentic self is essential to finding freedom with your body’s health and your emotional wellness in relationship to it. Being able for the first time to differentiate the authentic you from your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, leads to the ability to begin to get intensely curious about them…what you will learn from being simply curious, will change your life.

To find out more about the concept of Authentic Self and how it relates to the relationship with your body join me for a discussion at one of my upcoming free tele-classes in November. For more information and to register visit the Radical Hateloss Workshops & Classes tab.

“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life,

but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.”
― Eckhart Tolle