radical hateloss

Sex & Sugar

2013-04-29T11:01:00.004-04:00

I read a blog post the other day about sugar. It literally called sugar 'the devil.' It mentioned violence and mental illness. It touted that sugar is one atom away from cocaine. WHOA!

Clearly I should be scared into never eating sugar again. But instead I'm left a little annoyed.

Attempting to scare people into righteousness isn't a new tactic. Its a very old one. An although often the intentions are in the right place FEAR based persuasion does more to hurt then help in the long run (at least in my humble opinion).

I started thinking.....Sex is like sugar.

I like metaphor.

Sex is natural. Sex is beautiful. Sex is pleasurable.

And sex can be abused....badly....in horrific ways.

Some have decided that since sex can be bad....it is bad. It's not to be talked about. Its not to be enjoyed. In fact the most holy people, will choose to abstain from it all together.

In comes the guilt...in comes the shame...in comes the dysfunction.

The puritanical ideas about sex that seem to exist in this country haven't lead to purity. They have led to child pornography, To Catch a Predator and rape.

Sex is the most glorious of human experiences, it is not inherently bad and neither is sugar.

Sugar is just Sugar...and it is pretty freaking awesome.

Sure sugar can be abused. Sure too much of it isn't good for us. But a moderate amount of sugar in our diets is fine. It's probably even essential.

But I'm not that nutrition/science person...I'm going down that rabbit hole. But I do know something about feelings and human behavior especially in relationship to food.

FEAR and GUILT don't keep people away from too much sugar. In fact they probably often cause a cycle of binge and purge. A period of restriction (No sugar!), followed by gluttonous abandon that leaves one feeling ill...emotionally and physically.

What if we just told people to pay attention to their own experience of sugar, in their own bodies....rather than try to scare them? They might be able to experience that one cookie is enough, that they don't have to eat the whole bag. They might be able to have a scoop of ice cream once a week, instead of for breakfast lunch and dinner for two weeks straight.

Sugar isn't the bad guy, anymore than sex is. No food is "bad". Food is just food. Sex is Sex. The stuff of life.

Warning: If You Lift Weights You May Get Bulky!

2013-04-16T13:14:00.003-04:00

If you lift weights you may get bulky.

You might develop biceps that are way bigger than any girl in a magazine (or the one in your head.)

Your quads may get too big to fit into regular jeans and you'll have to buy the special kinds for gals with curves.

If you lift weights you may stay skinny.

You might deadlift more than double body weight in the gym but still not sport a six pack.

Your legs might still look like pencils, even though you know the difference between a high bar and low bar back squat and have done Wendler, Westside and a linear progression.

Welcome to the amazing and wondrous world of your genetics.

Some of our bodies get 'bulky' aka muscular with the slightest of ease.

Some of us can work our asses off in the gym and have very little visible proof.

And the rest of us are somewhere in the infinite possibility of the space in between.

AND IT MEANS NOTHING!

You know what matters?

(I ask, but I know that you do...even if you have to dig deep.)

You being strong and well and enjoying the hell out of the way in which you choose to train.

I don't know what your body is going to look like if you lift weights. I don't know how much you will weigh or if you'll have 'abs'.

But I do know you'll be happy and healthy.

That you will be strong and capable.

You will be your own unique version of extraordinaire when you make peace with the body that comes with the type of strength training that speaks to your heart and stimulates your mind. (Regardless of what it happens to look like.)

My 'bulky' and beautiful friend, Cheri.

No More Mean Girl Pledge

2013-03-18T11:02:00.000-04:00

Women, can be downright horrible to each other. Tearing each other down, harshly judging, being two faced and generally awful even to our friends.

Luckily I know this has nothing to do with an inherent part of being a women. I have been blessed to be with groups of women in my life that support each other. So this behavior is something we learn, not carry in our genes.

I'm no sociologist. I'm sure there are actual theories on this topic, I don't know them...I don't need to. What I know is that it doesn't have to be this way...and my post today is a call to action for whomever reads it.

Ladies, we need to start treating each other better. We need to support and love each other.

And guess what...its not just about her....its about us. What we put out into the world is what comes back. If we judge and tear down her....guess what we are doing to ourselves?

I am just as guilty of mean girl behavior as the next one. I wish I could say I was 100% of the time in alignment with supporting my fellow womankind. I need a reminder too. So today I'm going to reaffirm, and hope you will with me.

No More Mean Girl Pledge

I pledge to do unto her, what I would have her do unto me.

I will refrain from derogatory gossip about her to others.

I seek not to judge her, however when I notice a judgment I will notice it and let it go.

I will not compare myself or my body to her or her body. I will appreciate both of us.

I will not assume to know her reason, her motivations, her unique path.

In my acceptance of our individuality, we are connected.

When I admire her, I will tell her. However I will not speak kind words, unless they are authentic.

I will not take her actions or words to heart, I am strong in my own sense of self, knowing what she does or says that might be hurtful, has nothing actually to do with me.

I will serve as a role model to other women on how to treat each other, especially to the little ones.

What else do you pledge??

The movie Mean Girls, takes a satirical but powerful look at this issue.

Love Yourself...Love Each Other

2013-02-14T11:43:00.004-05:00

It's valentines day, let's talk LOVE.

So they say, you cannot truly love someone completely without loving yourself first.

I believe this whole heartedly. Self-love is where all love starts.

However self love, is just the beginning.

I have spent the last four years on a journey, discovering what living MY life with self love is like. Its amazing. Its wondrous. It feels like a miracle everyday.

However MY life is not mutually exclusive. My LIFE, includes others... first and foremost those others are my family, but also everyone else too.

I have been turning in, and the universe is giving me a good swift kick in the ass, telling me, my peace and their peace...requires me to look out and up. Not just when I am in a life coaching session with a client, not just when there is an important life event that calls my attention, and certainly not just on valentines day.

The shifts in my consciousness around my SELF were necessary, they were VITAL. However this Valentine's day marks the beginning of a new shift. MY SELF evolution now must expand. I have become conscious of my thoughts, my emotions, my intuition.

Today, I become conscious to the souls around me. For their highest possibility, for my highest possibility, for the worlds possibilities.

Happy Valentine's Day. Love Yourself...Love each other.

From Thick Thighs to Thick Thighs

2013-02-12T12:10:00.000-05:00

A guest post by Nicole Johns

Nicole on her 11th birthday

I bet that you have a memory of some kid making fun of your body from your girlhood. I bet that you can picture the whole scene: sticky bus seat, noisy kids chattering, and the flush of red cheeks and the pit in your stomach. One of my shaming memories is from 1986 or so. Some boy I didn’t even know punched me in the thigh and told me I had the thickest thighs he had seen on a girl. He continued to pester and shame me about my legs until he grew bored with me ignoring him. I remember looking down at my legs in those lime green shorts and just feeling like I wanted to be invisible. I felt so disgusting and weird and unusual in the most awkward way. I was about 11 years old, just about to blossom into awkward young womaness. I couldn’t have been more vulnerable to this cruelty. I also was not a fat kid. I was the chubby prepubescent girl with about 15 extra pounds and yes, I had thick thighs.

That boy had no idea what damage he was causing. I don’t think he really meant to be so cruel. I forgive that boy, even though his words have haunted me for 25 years. I think about the scene regularly and had the shame wash over me regularly until very recently. I used to sit next to my friends and compare the size of their thighs to my own. Whose knees were bigger? How do our inner thighs compare? It was really obsessive at points in my life. But no more. What changed? Me.

I have decided to see my thick thighs as the advantage and blessing they are. I can squat hundreds of times before my legs give out. I can pull and push sleds. I can carry heavy things. I can hike up mountains. I can run miles. My big legs do all these things. And you know what? Now those thighs, those very same thighs, are a source of joy and pride for me. But this came from hard work, physical and mental, mostly mental. No one gave this gift to me (except my thick-thighed ancestors). I had to make the choice to tell that boy to ‘shut up’, finally after 25 years of mocking me.

My body is never going to be ‘perfect’. But I have grown to embrace the imperfections as they are, as I am. I am not at full body acceptance and love and celebration. But I am getting there. I no longer play those shaming scenes in my head. I am finding ways to enjoy my body - yoga, biking, strength training, push ups even. In this letting go of that shame I have opened up to so many new pleasures and joys, including a more enjoyable sex life.

That boy didn’t take those years of self-love away from me. I did that. I made the choice to play those tapes and buy into all the societal bs about what is beautiful and ‘perfect’. Just like I choose to stop bashing my body and to start the process of full love and acceptance. You can make the choice to tell all those mean girls and boys to ‘shut up’. You just have to do it. Make the choice now. And now. A And tomorrow. And next Wednesday. Until it is the new tape in your head.

Forgive the girl who internalized that shame. Forgive the young woman who felt so ugly and undeserving of love. Forgive the woman who punished herself with food or starvation or binging. Forgive and let it all go. It’s only weighing you down. It is only preventing you from the freedom to be yourself in all your awesomeness. The forgiving will lead to the forgetting. One choice at a time.

About Nicole Johns:

Nicole's passions are wellness, social justice, and learning new things. She enjoys an adventure, whether a cross country road trip in a 1972 Ford Clubwagon or a hike around a lake with her family. Nicole shares her home with her partner Travis, their two boys, two cats, and an ever-changing number of fish. Nicole is a working mom, a yogi, a classroom parent, a knitter, an occasional runner, and a proud feminist. Someday she plans on hiking the Grand Canyon, doing an unsupported handstand, and writing a novel. Probably not on the same day. You can read Nicole's thoughts on womanhood and motherhood at Think Mama Think.

My Take Away from the 5th Element of Fitness Workshop

2013-01-28T10:30:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a good day. I presented for the very first time, The 5th Element of Fitness Workshop. I designed the workshop specifically for CrossFitters, to gain insight into the connection between their mind and body, as well as learn tools to consciously integrate the two more fully and in turn meet physical potential, experience joy and satisfaction in training and lead a more fulfilling life in general.

I cannot be happier with how the workshop went. Eleven athletes from three local affiliates joined me at Cross Fit King of Prussia. They were open and ready to learn and experience. They were able to look inside to discover what was already there and bravely shared with each other. After learning and sharing we headed to the gym and they did the 5th element WOD and put tools directly into practice.

I think this group picture says it all, it might be just me but I think there is a look about these faces....I see a special kind of joy that comes when we connect more fully to each other and to ourselves.

At the end of the workshop I asked what everyone's biggest take away was. Here are some of their answers:

"Realizing all that I have accomplished, my strengths"

"The need for practice and intention."

"The connection between mind and body and how strong it is"

"Seeing how my mindset absolutely effects my WODs and the tools to change it"

"Clearing my mind and giving the WOD to myself"

"What you think and say impacts your performance and physical body"

"Appreciate your successes, live in the moment"

"We need nothing to gain happiness, Its always there for us!"

This morning I am reflecting more fully on what my biggest take away was. It is that, "People are Naturally Creative Resourceful and Whole." I am trained in Co-Active Life Coaching and this is one if the cornerstones of the co-active model.

The workshop didn't GIVE these athletes anything that they didn't have already. They already have everything they need inside themselves.

Even the tools I gave them, many realized they were using them at times, without even knowing it. But now feel empowered to use them more consciously.

Consciousness is SO POWERFUL. Once you KNOW, you cannot UNKNOW.

When you realize your own thoughts, emotions and limiting beliefs get in the way of your potential...that's when the journey begins.

When you connect deeply to the WHOLE person you are, JUST AS YOU ARE....you will act in alignment with that self.

When you are AWARE, you have the power of CHOICE.

You may be wondering, what does this workshop for CrossFitters, have to do with Radical Hateloss?

Everything.

When mind and body align, that's where we meet our potential...whether it's our potential in our health, or in our wellness, or in our physical performance or in our lives!

A BIG thanks to Kate Rawlings who asked me to create the workshop and pushed me over the cliff to the next big adventure! I'll be going to her gym, Coca CrossFit in Ohio next month to present it to her athletes!

And a special thanks to my friend Cheri. You're my mind/body partner in crime. :-)

“Every passion, every emotion, has its effect upon the mind. Every change of mind, however slight, has its effect upon the body.”

-Hazrat Inayat Khan

Want more info about 5th Element Fitness? Click Here

My Greatest Teacher

2013-01-14T09:58:00.001-05:00

My Greatest Teacher

by Stephanie Vincent

I have had a teacher with me my entire life.
In the beginning, I knew no better than to pay attention.
However as I grew, I became distracted, and paid attention to other things.
These other things I began to tend to, they required my attention.
Survival, as child, it was life or death.

Somewhere a long the line this teacher became visible to me again.
But now I saw her as my enemy.
She was like a prison guard that kept me locked away.
She was responsible for my unhappiness.
She kept me from the life I was supposed to live.

And then one day, after all the years of condemnation.
Lightening struck and in its glow my true master was revealed.
The one who I thought kept me imprisoned through my life,
was the very one who had been waiting all along to set me free.

Although Id been on this journey from my first breath,
That day marked the start of accelerated learning.
If it was a movie, this is the part where the music montage would begin.

I had the courage to trust her as the one who knows best.
She in turn, was given the power to truly teach for the first time.
She began to show me magic.

I listened to her, and found she directed me to exactly what I needed.
Once we got there, we just enjoyed each others company.
We were working, but it didn't really feel like it.

Then all of a sudden, something would happen.
I'd be able to do the impossible.
This happened, over and over and over again.

I found that her lessons, changed me beyond our time together.
The impossible became possible, every where I looked.

Its the natural course of things, that every student has to veer away from time to time.
Even today, there are moments when I think I might know better than her.
There are moments when I pay attention to false prophets.
But I find myself, always returning home again.

She is always waiting, with a knowing smile.
Her intuition, and connection to things I can never understand.
See my path before I take it.

There is no teacher who has ever taught me more.
There is no teacher that's more committed to my possibilities.
There is no teacher available to me every moment, every day, to the end of my days.

My Body, has taught me that I am capable of miracles.
My Body has taught me about acceptance, about joy and love, about peace and freedom.
My Body has helped me to discover the courage to live the life I was born to live.

Thank you. Blessed be that day, my eyes finally opened.

Radical Woman Q&A with Anna Guest-Jelley of Curvy Yoga

2013-01-03T10:34:00.000-05:00

When I am at a Yoga class I have noticed that there isn't very much body diversity. Yet I know surely that the joy and benefit of yoga has no boundaries, certainly not ones that have anything to do with how a body looks. The truth is the lack of body diversity would be noticeable in most fitness classes. This makes me sad.

It's makes me sad to think a woman may never discover the joy of moving her body in a way that speaks to her soul. It makes me sad to think a woman may never feel the exhilaration of accomplishment and discovery on the physical plane. It makes me sad that 'not looking the part' keeps many women out of gyms, studios or off a yoga mat.

I have this unique ability, to not give a crap about everyone around me, but not everyone is like me. For many feeling out of place is enough to keep them away. This is why when I found Curvy Yoga, I thought "That's pretty awesome."

CurvyYoga is "a training & inspiration portal for full-figured yogis & their whole-hearted teachers." Founded by today's Radical Woman, Anna Guest-Jelley. I pretty much love Anna's description of her self, "As a writer, teacher & lifelong champion for women’s empowerment & body acceptance, Anna encourages women of every size, age & ability to grab life by the curves. And never let go."

Q. Who are you?

A. Hello! I’m Anna Guest-Jelley, and I’m the Founder of Curvy Yoga, which is body positive yoga for people of all shapes and sizes.

Q. What do you do?

A. I’m a yoga teacher and body empowerment educator. I write and teach about yoga as a vehicle for body awareness, acceptance and love – especially for people who never thought yoga could be for them because of the shape or size of their body.

Q. What makes you radical?

A. I’ve always loved the dictionary definition of radical – to get to the root. My goal with Curvy Yoga is always to get to the root – of what’s holding us back from self- and body-acceptance and what can get us there. For me, this includes looking at personal concerns but also societal structures that dictate what bodies are acceptable – and then, of course, breaking those way down.

Q. Describe your own personal journey with your body image, health and/or fitness.

A. Oh, my. I could fill a whole book on that! In a nutshell, though, I’ve been on 65 diets in my life. In other words, if you can name a diet, health or fitness fad, I’ve probably tried it. Eventually, I realized that the issue wasn’t that I just needed to find the “right” diet and then all my problems would be magically solved. Because, let’s be honest, if 65 hadn’t “worked,” what would the 66^th really have to offer? This is when I needed a radically (there’s that word again!) different approach to my life.

Q. What are your philosophies on food & eating?

A. I do my best these days to live by the “feel good” philosophy. In other words, I eat what feels good. I think people fear that this means they’ll end up only eating candy and pizza for the rest of their lives. And while that may feel good for a while, if you really tune into your body, you’ll find that probably isn’t true forever. What feels good to me is what is nourishing for my particular constitution.

Q. What are your philosophies on fitness?

A. The “feel good” philosophy is such a great umbrella because it completely applies to fitness, too. I do what feels good to my body, plain and simple. For me, that’s yoga (guess that was pretty obvious!), swimming and this particular machine at the gym (kind of like cross-country skiing).

Q. What do you have to say about self-love & acceptance?

A. I could fill another book with this one! This is pretty much my favorite topic to talk about! But you know what? I can boil it down to one thing: self-love & acceptance are everything. It’s that simple (and complex): with them, everything goes more smoothly.

Q. What message do you most want to communicate to other women?

A. I want women to take a long exhale. And then another. And then another. We put so much pressure on ourselves – always thinking we could do something better, smarter, faster. But guess what? We’re doing awesome, my friends. And we’re enough, just as we are.

Q. What else do you have to say/share?

A. Self-acceptance is always a journey. It’s not something you “get” and then are through with, so you can take that pressure off yourself. Let kindness be your guide.

Thank you Anna for sharing yourself with Radical Hateloss & thank you for living your passion in the world, undoubtedly you are changing lives!

If your interested please check out Curvy Yoga classes & certification courses online at CurvyYoga.com and of course connect with Anna on Facebook and Twitter!

4 Powerful Questions to Ask Before You Set Your New Years Goals!

2012-12-28T19:20:00.002-05:00

It's that time of year again!! Time to make a plan for the year to come. Everyone knows about goal setting, but not everyone knows the importance of building the foundation that will not only make goals more sucessful, but also the process towards achieving them easier and more joyful. Here are 4 poweful questions to ask before you set this years intentions.

Tears for Her

2012-12-10T09:35:00.002-05:00

Today I'm trying something different, video instead of writing. I felt so emotional this morning that writing the words felt really difficult so I decided to just talk. Let me know what you think.

Check out:

Childhood Obesity: Check Your Self-Rightousness at the Door

By Go Kaleo

The Person Centered Approach to Weight Management with Dr. Rick Kausman

2012-11-09T10:15:00.000-05:00

This past spring I had the pleasure of interviewing, Dr.Rick Kausman. Life has been crazy and it's taken me until now to get this post together. Better late than never!!

Dr. Kausman is an Australian medical doctor who has devoted his career to the person centered approach to healthy weight management. Dr. Kausman became a doctor to make a difference in peoples lives but didn't know exactly how, until he has what he calls a "sliding door moment."

In 1987 soon after finishing medical school a friend asked Kausman to work in his practice that helped people lose weight. He knew nothing about this area, but decided to just give it a show. The practice used strict diets, weight loss suppressants, and biweekly weigh ins. Kausman said, "intuitively it didn't feel right." He decided that he was going to look for another way. He s thought "there is whole different way we may be able to think about this"

In 1988 Kausman started his own practice, began pouring over research and writing on the topic and most importantly began learning from his patients. " I couldn't share with my patients that I have been through this journey, but it was like I was a blank canvas, my patients painted their strokes on."

By 1993 Kausman began to solidify his learning and in 1998 he released his book, "If Not Dieting, than What?" He says the book is as relevant today as it was 12 years ago, which doesn't say much for how far we have come. However he is hopeful, "I believe change is coming on many levels." When he first started, his felt alone in his message, that's not so much the case any more.

So what is person centered weight management? " Its supporting the person rather than a one size fits all approach." Kausman uses a wonderful metaphor to explain it. "Helping people to be the healthiest they can be (and as a result of that their healthiest weight) is like putting a complex jig saw puzzle together. There is no two exactly the same, but there are common themes in peoples puzzles. "

Kausman says "most people are trying to put their whole health puzzle together with just two of the pieces, nutritional knowledge and activity." His approach helps patients, often for the first time, step back and take a look at the other pieces. He says its incredibly empowering for people to look at things from a new perspective.

He says that the person centered approach is a shift of power. "Helping people take control from within rather than giving control to someone else." Kausman helps patients look at which puzzle piece needs attention first. He says for many its becoming aware and more mindful about what he calls "non hungry eating." Non-hungry eating is eating anytime when a person is not hungry. There are many reasons....emotion, boredom, habit etc. Often the first piece of homework he gives is to simply "be aware" rather than try to change behavior. According to Kausman people are blown away by what they learn, and many times behavior naturally starts to change without them even trying.

Kausman says sometimes their is a life issue, that needs to be dealt with first- for which he has a psychologist that works with him in the practice. Other times the piece that demands attention is self nurturing. If someone has no space for themselves, getting healthier has no room to happen. No matter what piece it is, Kausman has patients ask "where do I most need to work?"

Kausman says that self-acceptance is often a difficult place to try to start for most people, however he finds that it often comes for the ride as people expand their horizons past only looking at diet and exercise. "Being in charge and empowered opens the door."

One of the most important thing Kausman helps his patients to learn is that they can be healthy and enjoy life without deprivation. This is a concept that runs crosscurrent to cultural ideas. Getting to a healthy weight isn't about will power and strictly following someone's plan. Its about finding your own path to a joyful relationship with your body!

What's the puzzle piece in your health puzzle that's demanding your attention most now? Is it self-nurturing, a personal issue, non-hungry eating, nutritional knowledge, activity, self acceptance or something else? Whatever it is, go there!

Thanks again to Dr. Kausman! Check out this blog post by Dr. K, If diets don't work, what now? and this you tube video of the If Not Dieting, Then What Empowerment Cards!

Weightlifting Technique & Nutrition

2012-11-05T14:56:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been greatly enjoying a regular practice in Olympic Weightlifting. As I delve deeper into the practice I am beginning to learn more about the differences in techniques and the debates within the weightlifting community. I've actually struggled lately, feeling a little confused. That was until it hit me...there is more than one way to successfully lift a heavy weight.

A technique can be successful if it is in alignment with a few very basic principles. In lifting the lifter must apply force on the bar moving it upward, the bar must stay in close to the body and the lifter must get underneath the bar fast.

Keeping the bar in close,

In order for a lifter to figure out which techniques will allow them to best achieve those principles and therefore lift the weight, is trial and error. They may need to work with different coaches, try different things before they establish what both works for their body and makes sense within their understanding. And that probably continues to evolve as long as they continue to weightlift.

Weightlifting isn't unlike nutrition.

There are a million 'techniques' people use for nutrition and the debates about which are right, are many.

However like weight lifting there is an ultimate goal, to eat in such away that our bodies are healthy. A successful technique in nutrition must be in alignment with few basic principles. Our bodies need a balance of nutrients, not too much or too little and the food we eat should make us feel well. Beyond that is technique.

Like the lifter has to experience what works best for them as an individual, so do we with nutrition. We must be open minded, learn from different sources and we must learn from experiencing what works and what doesn't. What works for our body will not work for someone else's. Our choices must make sense to us.

Our techniques for nutrition will evolve over time. Eating in alignment with our health is not a finite process.

The debates over nutrition techniques can be confusing and frustration, but just like I realized with weightlifting, there is more than one way to eat in alignment with health. We must continually find the way that works best for us.

A Call to Action

2012-10-15T12:05:00.001-04:00

Photo from bodyheart.com

Here's my truth...

I'm not really doing this work so that your relationship with your body will improve....you are simply pawns in my larger game. You see I know that if I can help you to love and accept yourself, to find joy--instead of suffering in your relationship with your bodies, that little eyes and hearts that watch you, now or in the future will be shaped by the strong, confident and healthy (physically and emotionally) women they watch.

I feel as if we are on the edge of a paradigm shift. That change is brewing. That old ways of thinking are being challenged, by more and more women everyday. What history tells us, is that what were 'radical' beliefs to our grandparents can be common place for us.

One day accepting our bodies will be the norm. One day exercise won't be about losing weight it will be about having fun. One day eating nutritious food, won't be the product of a diet, but of a life built on self love. One day these things will be conventional, not radical.

That future, it starts with us.

Make no mistake about it, this is a call to action. How we feel about our own body, our own selves- will impact our daughters, our nieces, our god daughters, our sisters, our friends. If we want the world to be a different place for them...where they know how to love themselves, rather tear themselves to pieces...we have got to make the decision to take up the cause of self love and acceptance in our own hearts and minds.

Change doesn't happen over night, not in a single life or in the lives of many but it starts with a choice. It starts when individuals like me and you, decide this can go on no longer. That we can no longer tolerate the atrocities that we see before our eyes. That we are not willing to allow the world to be as it is today. That our heart hurts to watch what we see, and we will do everything in our power to right that wrong.

The quote above by Kate Winslet, makes my heart hurt. It aches in the bitter truth of the reality, that most of us rarely if ever heard a women say, "I love my body." What we did hear was, '"my thighs are too big", "I hate my nose" "I have to lose 5 pounds".... over and over and over again. That makes me brutally sad.

It makes me sad and at the same time it light up a fire inside me. It's time for change. Change can start, right here, right now...in this moment. Make a choice. For your own health and happiness, but also for those little girls that will suffer just as much, if not more if they don't learn something different.

Ladies, this whole thing isn't just about you and your body. Its about LIFE. Its about living our full potential, living our destinies. The impact of that on the next generation, on our world is LIMITLESS. To say that this is a worthwhile cause is a gross understatement. It is everything.

LOVING ourselves, ACCEPTING all that we are....this is our revolution. Stand with me, in this fight for LIFE.

Me and my inspiration.

I Am Plus Size

2012-09-21T12:41:00.000-04:00

I'm not 'losing' weight.

I've 'lost' weight.

I've lost weight as a byproduct of what I have gained, the realization of my self worth and wholeness...independent of all else.

I don't know what the future holds, I might lose weight or I might gain weight but to me it doesn't matter.

It's not about the weight for me, not three years ago, not now, and not ever again.

I don't fit in a society's box.

I am a size 16, heavy weight and I'm healthy and fit. I could prove it, but I don't need to.

I am free and happy and have a relationship with my body I will hold up proudly as an example for my children and for every woman the will listen to me talk.

I enjoy my fitness practices...most days I can't wait to go to the gym, or trampoline or yoga mat.

I don't have cheat days or cheat meals....I eat what I want, when I want to. The trick is, I want to eat food that makes me feel physically well.

God made me.....and he made me good....so amazingly good just as I am.

Why in the world would I fight to change what doesn't matter, when I have everything that does?

FREEDOM became available in the moment that I chose it. I choose it NOW. and NOW. and NOW. Every single moment.

I love this big and beautiful body of mine, even with all its stretched out skin. It serves me so very, very well. It can do what I never thought it could. It has took a beating, and come back again...so loyal...so ready to respond in the moment that I listened.

I AM PLUS SIZE.....I am big and full of passion and hope for a world where we are free to be all that we are. Where our relationships with our bodies are joyous and full of wonder and constant growth towards our possibilities. A world where true health, in mind and body are role modeled for our kids, so that one day a generation will forget "not being good enough" ever happened.

Radical Woman Q&A with Amber Rogers of GoKaleo.com

2012-08-21T16:36:00.000-04:00

I became friends on Facebook with Go Kaleo a few months ago and I'm consistenly blown away by Amber's posts. She is a breath of fresh air in the health and wellness world. If you aren't already friends with Go Kaleo on Facebook , do so now! Without further adieu...Meet Amber.

Who are you?

I’m Amber, the real person behind my blog, gokaleo.com. I was a pretty typical 30-something mom who took stock of her life and realized I was setting a really poor example for my young daughters, so decided to make some lifestyle changes. That was 4 years ago. I’ve lost a bunch of weight, got in shape, started a blog and made some career changes in that time.

What do you do?

I’m a personal trainer and lifestyle and weight management coach by trade, now, and also a blogger and facebook ‘fitness personality’. I’m sort of in awe of the response I’ve gotten, and how wide my readership has become. I certainly never expected anything like this!

What makes you radical?

Good question! You could probably ask 100 of my readers and get 100 different answers, but deep down I think it boils down to: I like myself just exactly the way I am. I’m completely happy with my body just as nature made it. I don’t think our culture wants any of us to be happy with ourselves, ever. When we’re happy with ourselves we stop buying useless crap, and start thinking critically about cultural values and expectations. No one gets rich off people who think critically.

Describe your own personal journey with your body image, health and/or fitness?

I was a lifelong dieter. I tried everything, lost a little weight, gained it back. You know the story. I was the weight-loss industry’s wet dream. By age 35 I was 230 pounds and starting to experience symptoms of metabolic dysfunction. I had an epiphanic moment one morning as I was lamenting the lack of truly healthy female role models in popular culture for my young daughters. I was suddenly struck with the obvious truth: I was their female role model, and I was doing a really crappy job of it. I wanted them to grow up to be strong, healthy women who treated themselves with kindness and respect. And I was none of those things. So I sat myself down and thought about the kind of life I wanted to model for them. I saw that I needed to make some big changes in my behaviors and my habits, and I made a plan. The first thing I changed was the way I talked to myself, having finally made the realization that the way I talk to myself is the way my girls will learn to talk to themselves. Instead of trying to berate myself into new behaviors, I told myself I was valuable and worthy of being treated kindly. I deserved to eat healthy food and have a healthy, strong body. I started small, but I was consistent, and I kept moving forward. It’s really amazing how small habits add up to huge changes over time.

What are your philosophies on food & eating?

I read about, and tried, pretty much every ‘diet’ and nutrition philosophy out there. There’s so much conflicting info and dogma that after awhile I got really frustrated with trying to figure out what the ‘ideal’ diet was. So I looked at what all the successful people and programs had in common, and it was: eating lots of vegetables, minimizing processed food, and getting regular exercise. So I based my own ‘diet’ on those things, along with some more personal values I hold (like using as few resources as possible to meet my needs, and eating foods that I truly enjoy) and came up with a way of eating that I feel really good about and that supports my health and my goals. When I coach other people, I encourage them to think about those things too, and create their own unique eating plan that reflects their own personal tastes, values and goals. I’m not in the business of telling people what to eat, or giving people a list of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods, and in fact I think that dividing foods into ‘good’ and ‘bad’ categories can lead to disordered eating behaviors.

What are your philosophies on fitness?

Very simply, find something you enjoy and keep doing it. Our bodies are built to move, and when we stop moving they stop functioning properly. Moving is as essential to good health as proper nutrition, sleep and sunlight. Without it we get sick and die! Our culture seems to think of exercise as a lifestyle ‘option’, but it’s really a requirement, for true health to manifest. I love weight lifting, it makes me feel grounded and powerful and confident, so it’s the foundation of my fitness routine. And I think it’s really beneficial for women as we age, as it helps preserve lean mass, bone density and metabolic function. But it’s important to enjoy what you do, because that’s what will keep you engaged, so I encourage my clients to keep trying new things until they find something that really clicks, even if it’s not weight lifting. Just keep moving, that’s the key.

What do you have to say about self-love & acceptance?

What message do you want to communicate most to other women?

There is nothing wrong with you. You are normal and perfect, just as you are, and you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Since you can’t change anyone else’s behavior, change your own. Treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated, and the people around you will follow your lead. Those who don’t aren’t worth your precious time.

What else do you have to say/share?

All things are possible through consistency and patience. There really is no magic pill, or workout routine, or diet, or macronutrient ratio. Make good habits and keep moving forward. Those day-to-day habits are what will change your body, your health and your life. So keep your focus there, on your habits. There will be bad days, and bad weeks, even bad months. It’s ok! Be patient, and kind to yourself, and keep moving forward.

It's women like Amber that are changing the world. She knows that happiness and health come from embracing all that you are, instead of desperatly needing to change it. Keep up the amazing work Amber!

Start By Doing What Is Necessary

2012-07-30T12:29:00.002-04:00

“Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”
― St. Francis of Assisi

Yesterday the teacher of my yoga class at Verge Yoga ended the class with the quote above from St. Francis of Assisi. I found the quote to be simple yet profound.

"Start by doing what's necessary."

It is necessary that we establish a connection between our mind, body and spirit. It is necessary that we take care of ourselves first. It is necessary that we love and accept ourselves as we are in each moment. It is necessary that we identify with our self that knows our worth and wholeness rather than the voice that seeks to keep us stuck.

"Then do what's possible"

When the necessary has been addressed, doing the work without struggle becomes possible. Exercise and eating well, once a sacrifice becomes a way of life. Joy and ease and freedom are realized.

"And suddenly you are doing the impossible"

We find our selves experiencing what once was impossible. Perhaps in the physical realm of our bodies but often in the ways we never could have expected. We are living our full expression of who we are, of what we were meant to do in the world.

If we want to be healthy physically and emotionally, if we want to live the lives we were born to live...we cannot skip over the necessary. We will not find what is possible without acceptance and self love at our core. We must commit ourselves to laying the foundation....to put in the ground work that will hold our dreams and self realization.

"Start by doing what is necessary".... start today.

Read The Power of Personal Geography on the CrossFit Goal Setting Seminar Blog

Revolution of the Lens

2012-07-24T10:48:00.000-04:00

We all deserve to experience the joy of moving our bodies.

Yes...Joy!! And maybe joy won't come on a treadmill or in the walls of a regular gym (although it might) but somewhere there is joy for each one of us.

On a trail, with a barbell, climbing a rock, in downward facing dog, on a athletic field, maybe even dancing our ass off.

Joy is ours to be had....stretching our limits, finding out we can do more than we thought we can, laughing and playing and making the essential connection to our physical selves.

Intensity of movement isn't just for hard toned bodies....its for the skinny ones and big ones and everyone in between.

We don't need to 'look the part'. If that is what's stopping us from a healthy life....physical, emotional, spiritual.....it shouldn't.

Health on the inside, has very little to what we see on the outside.

Join me in a revolution. The revolution of the lens with which we view our health. Turn it in, instead of out.

Commit to health...not health as in "I need to lose weight", health that says "my mind, body and spirit are aligned."

Health like that can start RIGHT NOW. Health like that breeds desire for movement from within. Shape and size are irrelevant...today and tomorrow too.

"And I keep searching for ways to change the conversation, change minds, change thought patterns. I keep struggling to transform judgment into gentle and open curiosity. It is the things that make us different that make us amazing, and that can be experienced with care and love instead of fear and loathing. I want people to assume less and accept more, to realize that another human being’s exterior is just one small piece of that human being’s unique puzzle"

-Sally McGraw (read the full post here)

Amazing Grace

2012-07-23T15:03:00.002-04:00

I love the word 'grace'. Just saying it calms me and brings me a sense of peace. Stop for a moment, and just say it out loud.....grace.....ahhhmazing grace.

The word has many definitions. Spiritual grace, refers to unmerited divine assistance. Other definitions include words such as approval, favor, mercy and pardon.

What if we treated our self with GRACE?

What if we truly allowed ourselves to approve and favor how truly awesome we are? We can be quick to move past what we have accomplished, for fear of looking boastful. We often make ourselves less, for fear of how it will make others feel. When the truth is fully embracing our gold, is the very thing that will allow more of it into the world, and give others the permission to do the same.

What if we pardoned ourselves at the times when we fall short? Our acts of misalignment with values and authentic self bring out our harshest of disciplinarians. Negative thoughts, guilt and lamentation fill up our minds and our time. And although it seems that we need to be strict on ourselves, we find that its not enough to make us align with who we really are. It is mercy, that allows us to walk in step again.

We don't need to do anything to earn ourselves grace, nothing needs to change .....unmerited and oh so divine.

In the second verse of the hymn, Amazing Grace it says " How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed." The moment that you believe in yourself...in your wholeness...in the authentic you, apart from your thoughts and emotions...that is the moment that grace arrives.... precious, precious grace.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home."

-Amazing Grace

Written by John Newton

To Serve One is to Serve All

2012-07-19T10:42:00.000-04:00

About a month ago I quit my day job. Today I start my new one. My mom comes home from the Rehab hospital and I am going to be her full time caregiver.

My life has been a bit of a whirl wind these last couple months as you can see from my lack of blog posts. My emotions have been in flux day to day moment to moment. I am excited to have more time with my family and more time at home to focus on Radical Hateloss and life coaching but am anxious about what my life will look like and how it will feel to play this role full time with my mom.

I tried to write a post yesterday, but quite frankly I was in too deep with a flood of emotions to be able to share. However this morning I feel awash with a feeling of excitement in my belly. I feel ready and hopeful and a deep sense of knowing I am on the path towards the life I was born to live.

Today I reaffirm my commitment to living my life from my highest self. I will bravely allow my light to shine into the world, not just for me but for all who come in contact with me, and especially my children.

In order to be my highest self I must be well. There is no choice in the matter. Taking care of myself includes nutrition and exercise, but it also includes sleep and relaxation and care for my family and my home.

The full encompass of what wellness means, has hit me hard this morning. It's as if my lens just widened and I see what has been missing. Wellness is Mind, Body and Spirit but is also the delicate balance between them.

As I start my new job today, I feel proud to be role modeling to my children a value of caring for your loved ones when they cannot care for themselves. My own parents role modeled that for me. However what my parents never modeled very well was self-care. I am ready to model both.

The thing is caring for me, caring for those that I love and caring for the people I serve and inspire through Radical Hateloss and life coaching are all the same thing. They aren't seperate at all. To serve one is to serve all.

If we want are children to be well, If we want our families to be well, if we want our communities and our world to be well.....we must be well.

I Walk the Line

2012-05-09T11:39:00.000-04:00

I walk the line. On one side is the Fat Acceptance Movement and the idea that self acceptance is paramount. On the other side the fitness community and the idea that self improvement is the goal. From my perspective the line is not what divides but rather where the two overlap. The overlap is the magic for me. To me it is where the power of possibility and contentment thrive. Beyond the overlap in either direct seems off balance and stunted in terms of ultimate happiness and achievement of what we want most.

Self Acceptance without Self Improvement Self-Acceptance of our bodies is accepting what they look like in each moment. It’s feeling free from mental anguish day in and day out. Acceptance is realizing that our body is not comparable to someone else’s, that genetically we are different. However acceptance is not complacency. Without a drive to be better, without care of our body - something of the upmost importance is lost. Without self-improvement there is a cap that is put on happiness and contentment. If we are complacent with behaviors that are incongruent with nourishing our bodies or if we are disconnected from our bodies all together- we can’t truly be at peace with ourselves, and isn’t that what self acceptance is all about?

Self-Improvement without Self Acceptance

We can get fit without self acceptance. Some easier than others, but it happens all the time. By force of will we can train and alter our diets- ravenously checking off goals. We can be driven by our ideals and by comparison to others- and it can work, but only to a point. Without self-acceptance, we are always “not good enough.” Always pushing, always fighting- never allowing ourselves to be satisfied. We cannont even celebrate our accomplishments before we are on to the next thing. Without self- acceptance there is a boundary set on contentment and interestingly enough the line may be drawn on our physical improvement as well. Any athlete knows, in order to be our best we must seek out our weakness and embrace it. We must accept that it exists, so that we can begin, slowly and without ego the process of getting better at what is worst. When we are unable to accept we either avoid or quit--- either way we miss the mark on what we want-getting better.

My whole life’s purpose is planted in the overlap. What I strive to do is help women to experience freedom & joy. Freedom and joy can’t happen with out both acceptance and love of our bodies. Acceptance is being okay with what is so that we can be free from mental torment of self and feeling as if we are never quite good enough. Loving our body means taking care of it, giving it what it wants and needs, honoring it as an integral part of ourselves.

I am not in the business of self- acceptance. I am not in the business of self-improvement. I am in the business of both.

Personal Growth: What it's Actually Like.

2012-05-02T13:55:00.001-04:00

Personal growth is a journey that begins from birth; however it really takes off the moment we become conscious about it. It’s from there we begin the journey up a perceived mountain to our self realization….our inner peace…maybe even enlightenment.

The problem with the mountain metaphor is that it lends itself to the idea that one day we will reach an end, finally succeed and never have to go through discomfort again. When we see personal growth as climbing a mountain, any struggle or new pain feels like a step in the wrong direction, when that’s exactly the opposite. Pain and discomfort are the very signals that we are growing. Personal growth is not movement towards a finite destination, but rather a process we will be on our whole lives long.

Someone once explained personal growth to me like this. He said it’s like your moving up levels. When you reach a new level, often times “stuff is shaken loose.” That stuff causes you to drop, but not to where you came from, you never really go back there.

I heard someone say recently this about physical training, “the real training starts when you stop setting personal records.” Personal growth is like that too. Upswings are exhilarating, but they aren’t nearly as powerful as the times when “stuff gets shaken loose.” The time will come when we have to face something we thought we were long since done with. The time will come when we feel painfully misaligned with our values. This is where the seeds of transformation get planted. We will grow again, and it will be marvelous.

In the specific area of our bodies the perceived pinnacle of personal growth tends to perfect health, an unwavering positive body image, a consistent diet and relationship with food. Our growth in relationship to our bodies is always going to be a work in progress. There is not going to be a time when the stars align and we can stop changing. We will age, what works now might stop working, something new probably will arrive that will challenge the very fabric of our being at some point or another.

I have become known for saying “Once you know, you can’t unknow.” We know that our worth is not tied to our body. We know that in order to feel at peace acceptance is necessary. We know that our happiness isn’t ever going to come with a number. Every step we take now is in that direction, even the ones that feel like the old has returned. Stuff will get shaken loose. Even though it may not feel like it, we have not lost ground. We are simply getting ready for the next big step.

Radical Woman Q&A with Filmmaker Julie Wyman

2012-04-25T15:23:00.002-04:00

Today’s Radical Woman Q&A is with award winning filmmaker, performer, writer and professor Julie Wyman. Her acclaimed documentaries include Buoyant and A Boy Named Sue. Her newest film is STRONG!. The film documents the story of Olympic Athlete and Weightlifter, Cheryl Haworth.

Julie, Myself & Cheryl

I was fortunate to meet Julie at the sneak preview of STRONG! at Haverford College in March. Watching the film and talking with Julie after it, it became apparent to me that we shared passion for creating a new paradigm for women and their relationships to their bodies. You will have no doubt about the fact that Julie deserves the title Radical Woman after reading the Q&A!

I also had the chance to meet Cheryl Haworth the subject of the film and was equally taken a back by her awesomeness. In May, Cheryl will be joining me in a live teleconference interview just for women about female strength, bodies, beauty, sport and fitness (For more information click here or register now.)

Without further adieu, meet the Radical Ms. Wyman!

Who are you?
I am Julie Wyman - filmmaker, artist, performer, professor, dancer, swimmer, cook, dogmom.

What do you do?
See above. More specifically, "what I do" is this: I am committed to challenging, confronting, and destroying the cultural and visual logic that produces a sense of bodily dysphoria for many women and many people. Put more positively: I want to encourage and produce images that model a radical sense of beauty and embodiment for people of all sizes, shapes, colors, and with all sorts of abilities.

What makes you radical?
Radical = to get at the roots: The roots of problems like widespread eating disorders, fatphobia, and our culture's ubiquitous bodily dysphoria is a particularly insidious logic that simply cannot comprehend that fat people can be healthy, that a woman like Cheryl can be an elite athlete. This logic is visually created and supported by a certain language of the image. My goal is to create images and stories that pull up, from its roots, and to overturn, this logic.

Describe your own personal journey with your body image, health and/or fitness?
As a child I was very active- I loved gymnastics and swimming and dancing and soccer - not to mention climbing trees, building forts and other outdoor activities. But, I was told, my body wasn't proportioned or shaped ideally to really find success or be seriously encouraged in any of these areas. Instead, surrounded by a family and a larger culture who were afraid of fat and wanted to "nip in the bud" the chance that I might put on extra weight, I became a normal weight kid who was put on diets from the age of nine, and encouraged, with all kinds of incentives to lose 10, 20, 30 pounds. I lost weight, I gained it back, and food and exercise became charged and loaded - certainly separated from any simple sense of their functionality or pleasure. This training to diet chronically, combined with the frequent enough feedback from kids at school and adults as well that I was "funny looking," bred a serious sense of dissatisfaction and bodily dysphoria in me: a sense of being in the "wrong body" with an ever present mandate to change who I was, how I looked. It wasn't until I was in college and developed a feminist perspective on food, body, and weight that I started to understand the cultural and political dimensions of this aspect of my life. At that point, I made a deep-level commitment to myself to try to reclaim and inhabit the body I have, and to not only bear witness, but to try to change, the harmful factors that had contributed to the needless suffering I'd endured through my childhood and teen years. Today, and for most of my adult life, moving is my joy: I love dancing, swimming, hiking, bicycling, yoga. Although I have grappled with injuries, and do still battle at times with the cultural mandate to alter my body rather than accept and embrace it, I do feel like I've transitioned, in adulthood, to a better relationship to my own physicality.

What are your philosophies on food & eating?
Food is hugely important to me; the pleasure and the creativity of cooking, the tasks of preparing and enjoying food with friends and family are incredibly important to the fabric of my everyday life. It would be a denial of everything I hold dear, my priorities in being alive, to sever myself from that experience, or to look at food and eating in a purely utilitarian way.

For me eating "well," i.e. in a way that is taking care of my physical, mental, and emotional health does require a certain discipline - a practice of being honest with myself about what I want and need at any given time- in terms of what food and how much food. This practice requires a certain slowness - patience- which is difficult to come by in the life I lead, but it is one to which I remain dedicated.

I also oppose dieting or regimentation of my diet in any way that is extreme or temporary. I believe in making productive long-term changes in one's eating patterns, but in avoiding crash changes that are difficult for the body to endure, and which usually create a backlash. Most of all, I believe in fostering, in myself and others, a sense of confidence that within each of us is the knowledge we need to make best food/ eating choices we can.

What are your philosophies on fitness?
I don't really like the word "fitness" because it implies "fitting" in to an external model.
I believe in a sense of physical embodiment, a sense of knowledge and active use of one's bodies - in whatever way that makes sense at any given time. I enjoy challenging myself physically and reaching new heights/ building new physical capacities like strength, flexibility, balance, as well as gracefulness and pleasure in movement. This would describe the goal I'd like to strive for: I'm not sure what the word for this is: but it's not "fitness."

What do you have to say about self-love & acceptance?
It's a tough, and ongoing process. It is, in many ways, related to a process of enlightenment, a process, perhaps, of one becoming less all-important to oneself, a process of acknowledging what's there and letting go of what's not. There is, in my experience, no zone that is long-term 100% safe from the societal influences that want to destroy that acceptance. It's bad for capitalism, self-love and acceptance. It takes us out of the market, in some senses, out of the project of trying to fill that empty endless desire. Which is all the more reason to adopt this as a goal.

What message do you want to communicate most to other women?
What if the body you had right now were perfect?

What else do you have to say/share?
Some of what I have to share is visual: I try to carve out/ create visual, visceral experiences with the imagery I create. So see my films. And that will answer this question ;)

You can start by seeing STRONG!. The film will have its television premier on PBS’s Independent Lens this summer, however there are community screenings of the film happening all over the country now. Check to see when the film is showing near you here. If you’re in my neck of the woods (Philadelphia) there is an upcoming showing on May 8^th, to RSVP follow this link. Hope meet you there!

Thank you Julie for taking the time to share yourself with the readers of Radical Hateloss and for doing the important work you are doing in the world!

"What if the body you had right now were perfect?"

-Julie Wyman

Watch the trailer for STRONG!

The Ladies RX Discussion Series: Guilt Free Food

2012-04-16T09:28:00.001-04:00

Last night CrossFit Women from nine states around the country had a conversation about having joyful relationships with food! The special guest for the call was Juli Bauer. Juli is a CrossFit Coach, athlete and blogger. She writes the fabulous food blog, PaleOMG as well as a monthly column for Again Faster.

We talked about our past experiences with guilt around food, why the Paleo way of eating brings us joy, how we experience eating ‘off plan’ and about finding how to best eat for our own bodies.

If you missed the call you can listen to it below or download it here.

Juli & Myself would like to challenge participants and listeners to the call to create a list of their FOOD VALUES.

Your Food Values are a list of your core values around food & eating. Core values are your must haves. They are not ideals or things you’d like to strive for, but rather the things that are essential for you to live by.

Think about what you WANT to do and then ask yourself, ‘WHY DO I WANT TO DO THESE THINGS?’ to find your values. There were some great examples given on the call!

Values are already in you--- you are just naming them. Having your values in front of you can help guide you. You can ask yourself, what am I in alignment with? What am I out of alignment with? What do I choose to be in alignment with now?

Please share with us your Food Values by posting them to comments!

If your participated in the call or listened to it, please take a few moments to give your feedback on this short survey . Thanks!

Congrats to Iris for winning some awesome PaleOMG gear!

An Exercise in Remembering

2012-04-09T10:43:00.003-04:00

PhotoCredit

Life isn’t always about learning something new, often times it’s about remembering something we already know. Today’s post is an exercise in remembering.

I invite you to read the rest of this post with great intention. Perhaps close the door to your office, turn down the radio, turn off the television. Feel free to take time to close your eyes between words. Allow your imagination to run free.

Think of yourself as a child. Choose an age where you felt alive with happiness and possibility. Remember what you looked like at that age. Picture what your hair would look like, what would you be wearing? Perhaps there is a particular photo you identify with this time in your life- if so envision in.

This child lives inside you. She is not the wounded child. This child is innocent and carefree. This child lives in the moment, she knows joy. She is the essence of who you are. She is about to pay you a visit.

Imagine that she comes into the room you are in. Take her energy in. What do you notice about her? How does she move? She, without any apprehension runs over to you and bounces happily onto your lap and smiles widely at you. Then without words, she reaches out and touches her small hands to either side of your face. Notice how her hands feel as they touch you gently.

She looks deeply into your eyes, holding your gaze courageously. Her eyes seem to be searching inside you. They are unrelentless in their search. She is looking for something, something she wants to show you. Something she needs you to see. She finds what she is looking for, you see it the moment she does because her eyes change. Her eyes become like mirrors reflecting back what she wanted you to see. Take in what she is showing you. Allow what she is reminding you of to fully sink in.

What have you just remembered?

How will that serve you?

How can you stay connected to it?

Perhaps find a photo or some thing else that reminds you of that little girl and put it where you will see it everyday.

This post is dedicated to an amazing little girl named Amber.