Ragamuffin

Sari man

2009-12-21T21:41:00.003+05:30

Just got back from a trip to Udaipur. We visited the sari section of the Hathipol market. We were in a small gali where all these shops were at and entered one of them. I stood outside killing time while the Mrs was being show the collection by a 30 something dude. I looked at him and it struck me. This dude deals exclusively with women for a living. What must that be like?

I found out he was married and thought that his job would either make him a doting husband or a wife beating psychopath (given that he takes shit from women all day). But when you really get down to it, being a sari salesman is a highly skilled job. Why? Because you need to UNDERSTAND women. He has to be patient because its crazy the amount of saris a single lady will go through before making up her mind. He need to be approachable and cannot letch. He needs to engage, entertain, assess, understand and sell a product he has never used.

He also told me that that he has to show an average of 65 saris before a women makes up her mind and this number may go up to 90. My wife being a quick shopper went through only 22 before picking up her sari.

Tiger Tiger burning bright

2009-12-06T10:51:00.007+05:30

Could not help myself:

The higest selling womens t-shirt in Florida:

....and then there were the comments

"Speaking from West Point, NY, the President announced he will send 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan over the next six months and 2,000 additional troops to Tiger Woods's mansion in Orlando. Peacekeeping forces." –Jimmy Kimmel

Tiger Wood's wife Elin Nordegren has agreed to appear on " Larry King Live " to apologize for the brutal beating she gave her husband last week . " You know Larry, under this blonde hair, white skin, and make-up, I'm really just another Chris Brown . "

What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They’ve both been clubbed by a Norwegian.

Tiger is no different from most of the guys I know. His car is a wreck, he is off work, his wife hates him, and he has sudden, unexpected, family expenses to deal with.

AGAIN, cant help meself

Guest writer

2009-11-28T21:07:00.001+05:30

---After a year of procrastinating, my friend Puma has finally put his thoughts on paper. The post below is his take/reaction/thoughts on my previous post (THAT time of year)---

You know I agree with what SATYA says about this whole 26/11 (twenty Six Eleven) NAME Calling and how its become some sort of a sordid reminder of what happened...I should know cuz I once forgot my wive's b`day. The doc who treated me said the scars run much deeper now.

Humans as a species don’t like to remember the unfortunate things in life. I for one have a very happy life cuz I have a very bad memory. Enemies are now my best friends and ex lovers are well still ex (they just won’t pick up my calls, don’t know what’s up with that)

Though I feel that at the end of the day it’ll just be a date and nothing else... this country has wayyy too many people in here to worry bout. It’s that "GUY IN FRONT OF ME RATHER THAN I" kinda thinking.

I saw that entire blood bath on TV too but like Satya I didn’t mix it with pakodas and tea. I remember ordering Chinese from a guy on a hand cart, completely fucked my stomach, had the worst diarrhea ever and that’s another reason I won’t forget that fateful day. But leaving my bullshit aside I think it takes a lot to willingly enter a building full of people who’re ready to die as against YOU who wants to LIVE.

If it takes people to see it on live TV, EVEN BETTER. People are immune to reading about death/rape/carnage/molestation in BLACK AND WHITE every morning with their eggs and toast. This is going to sound a lot worse than I mean BUT THINGS LIKE THIS SHOULD BE TELEACST LIVE ALWAYS. Show a rapist being chewed by rabids and I guarantee you’ll see a drop in the act, telecast a murderer swinging from the gallows and you’ll just have to be “SERIAL KILLER CRAZY” to pick up a knife.

We are a DEMOCRACY and a country willing to fight to save a life no matter how many more we add to it every sec. We should make these atrocities even more visible EVEN if it takes you spilling your dinner out from the wrong end. We’ll continue to fight or write about them and people will take a bullet for you and me CUZ THIS ISNT FKIN SOMALIA YET OR PAKISTAN (which is one and the same)

I know I can’t take a bullet for someone but I did get into lots of fights for lots of people and got the shit kicked outta me too. In no way am I comparing myself to any of the heroes that day or the people who got killed were similar to me taking a beating... its just that in the twisted reasoning of terrorism and killings this date like so many of our personal misfortunes will get embedded far deeper than the shallow scars of bullet marks and shattered glass.

THAT time of year

2009-11-26T11:55:00.003+05:30

It is THAT time of the year again. Yea, THAT time. We do not experience it often, but India has 2 days a year where our patriotism reaches the zenith, we constantly say “fuck Pakistan ya” and Jayanti Natrajan yells louder than Pavarotti in concert. The days in question are of course 26th January and 15th August. These being public holidays also help.

But this year we have a new and improved day to get emotional, sensitive and patriotic. Its called 26/11. It’s this day last year when 10 young men from the lost world of Atlantis breached our water tight security and slaughtered more than 170 people in our country’s financial capital. The reason generations will cherish 26/11 more than the other 2 days is for the simple reason that we saw it live on TV with chai, pakodas and the Rakhi Sawant of news- Barkha Dutt as accompaniments. Also, the scale of operation was huge and most importantly the people killed were rich and important. Candle manufacturings were having a ball with all the power cuts but with candle light vigils to mark this day…oh what a fun. We were all shocked at the way things unfolded and are still waiting for the movie to release so we can “truly” understand what happened. I personally hope 26/11 becomes what the 4th of July weekend is to the USA—i.e the first weekend of July is a 3-day weekend.

So what has changed 1 year down the line?
1) Maharashtra has re-elected the same government ruling at the time of 26/11
2) The people of India have re-elected the same government at the national level ruling at the time of 26/11
3) MNS the “outsider” hater disappeared while outsiders were killing innocent people in Mumbai but won 13 seats in the next elections
4) Kasab is safe, has put on weight and has been treated for all his ailments by Mumbai based doctors at the cost of Rs. 31 Crores (TOI)
5) Clusterfucked Pakistan still can’t make up their mind and come out of the closet
6) India still feels that if you ignore your problems long enough they will go away.

To all those who perished and to those who were left behind after 26/11- sorry about what happened. Like they say….Karma is a bitch. That’s the best I can offer. No one will help you. Help yourself.

Last post on 26/11

Life

2009-11-17T09:22:00.002+05:30

Back after a break of sorts.

Life:
Observations, lies and conversations

I want my woman to be independent:
I want my woman to earn at least 30% lesser than what I do and be moderately successful. She also has to quit working after we have a kid.

Am taking a sabbatical:
I quit my job and am in the process of finding another one. In the meantime pls pls pls don't judge me.

I want to become the CMO/Brand Manager/ Large peice of dung in the next 10 yrs:
I know for the longest time that I am a laid back guy but the people around me tell me otherwise. So I reciprocate saying, I am ambitious.

Trying to quit man. I will, I promise:
Shut the fuck up. Just because you quit you act holier than thou. Recollect those days when you rummaged through the ashtray for leftovers when you ran out of cigarettes.

Boyfriend: I have never watched porn:
He is lying.

Girlfriend: I have never felt this way about any one before:
She is lying.

I love Hockey:
Dyanchand is still playing isn't he?

I hate that biach Rakhi Sawant:
I love her. She is the reason reality television exists in India. Love them curves too.

The Effiel Tower looks stunning at night:
Been to Europe. Have you?

People with kids----other humans DO NOT find your kids as cute as you do. Your instinct makes you blind to the fact that your kids can be perceived as runts
and things others want to hit. "Beta, go to uncle" is something you should refrain from".

I am 30 and cannot make new friends.

Last week I wore a suit to this dinner and was asked to skip the security check and wished 3 times. All others without suits were being frisked. Well I don't
quite blame them cause most of the assholes who cause trouble when frisked wear suits.

Liberal

2009-08-26T12:10:00.004+05:30

Imposing ones views, thoughts, religion etc on others is natural human tendency. It leads to profit. May not be the monetary kind but psychological, sexual etc.

Liberal for me is live and let die. I do not mean apathy be your biggest virtue but to each his/her own suits me fine. My family is very liberal by Indian standards. Dont get me wrong, they had their limits set but are very flexible compared to most humans I came across. I was visiting home sometime back and met my family and some of my wife's family. 2 conversations worth mentioning during one the umpteen gatherings.

1) I have always been "appreciated" by all for helping my wife around the house. I cannot cook to save my life but make wicked rotis when the maid does not turn up. I also make tea, buy vegetables, get the maids to work, clean the house occasionally etc. This "helping" aspect is somehow worth mentioning (by the family) every time we meet. It used to get my goat by my wife told me to let it go cause its something familys discuss. During my last visit when the helping thing came up a cousin of my wife interrupted with:

"Why are we mentioning this all over again? Isn't he SUPPOSED to do the house work? The very fact we mention it makes it special?

For all the liberal thinkers who LET their daughters work, marry the men of their choice and not give sermons on birth control, it is somehow impossible to imagine men doing house hold work. Hardwired into our DNA is the bhartiya sanskriti which does not allow us to stop thinking about this. I looked across the room to thank the cousin and she smiled back.

2) People were discussing marriage. Long lost friends, cousins, foes etc. Do you remember she married that businessman who went under, he married that women with the drinking problem etc. This was working better for me that the sedative I took until 1 statement woke me up.

"Hey, you remember that 2nd cousin who married that women, Mary? They are so happy together even though she is a Christian".

It came out so naturally that all the aunties and uncles around nodded in approval. The bias had surfaced and gone under in a matter of 5 seconds.

WTFness for the day

2009-07-17T09:54:00.002+05:30

Story 1:
There is a law where a "dalit" women who is raped will be compensated Rs 50,000. The idea is, we cant give you justice but here is money. The Beatles wrote "Can buy me love" for good reason. Maybe they should have included dignity, time, trauma in there too. There is WTFness at so many levels.
1. Only dalit women are alloted funds after rape. Rest of the women can take a hike.
2. Counselling & justice...nope. Money yes.
3. Why are my taxes being spent on a loosing cause?

I can imagine a dalit rape scam breaking out.

Couples have sex...women accuses him of rape....gets paid....pays and cops and get the man out of jail.....the cycle continues....they live happily ever after. Couples will start early in life. I wont be surprised if this move is touted as a conspiracy against out health minister who say have kids after 30.

"The rules prescribe that in the case of rape, the Dalit victim is entitled to compensation of Rs 50,000 with the proviso that 50% of that sum should be paid immediately after her medical examination and the balance at the conclusion of the trial. Mayawati is not to blame for these meager amounts; it is the failure of the Centre to update the rules".

Story 2: TOI-Hyderabad-17th July, 2009
The chief minister of Andhra in Dec 2006 had announced in the lobby of the state assembly that the state would bring about a legislation that would make HIV screening compulsory for couples to wed in the state. Come 2009 and the "announcement" was not implemented. Its the thought that counts you know. Meanwhile, since 2007, almost 3,000 women tested positive within six months to one year of getting married.

The reason for not implementing?

The proposal got shelved because of opposition from human rights groups who contended that it would cast aspersions on the character of the couple. Wow "cast aspersions". I wonder given a choice what the 3000 infected women would choose:
a. People being rude to your to be husbands
b. Being HIV positive.
Common sense in the government it seems is like the Lochness monster. Everyones heard of it...no one's seen it.

377/69= decriminalized homosexuality

2009-07-03T09:57:00.004+05:30

Homosexuality refers to sexual attraction or sexual behavior between people of the same sex, or to a sexual orientation...
India has finally stepped out of the closet (legally) by decrimilizing homosexuality. The Delhi High Court effectively decriminalized homosexuality. As of today, it is no longer illegal to be gay in India. Yipee...

Does this mean that gay and lesbians will be
1. treated equal
2. not frowned on
3. not busted by the cops
4. looked upon as abnormal and
5. seen as people against our "culture"?
That my friend is evolution, which takes thousands of years. For now let's the just stick to decriminalized it and take it from there. My generation NEVER spoke about sex at home. Homosexuality was an unknown concept and the first time I heard it I went...."but why? who can like men (except women) when women are so attractive". Anyway

The religious bandwagon has already opposed the move which they see as being against god's will. Am particularly amused at the stand the church has taken on abolishing Sec 377.....hahah. What a farce. I can imagine 2 priest chatting up:

Priest 1: WTF is with this government. Now anyone can be a homosexual and get away with it. This move takes away our special privileges.

Priest 2: Dont get your panties in a bunch. We can rape minors and get away with it. So we still rule. Maybe baba ramdev can make a medicine to cure this disease.

Terms for homosexuals/lesbians in popular culture:
Homo, gay, fag, queer, faggot, dykes, fairy, flame, putt from the rough, poff, corn holing, butt pirate, fudge packer, fruit, brokeback etc etc

MJ

2009-06-26T08:42:00.004+05:30

Loved what you did before the turn of the century.

Goodbye you freak. The craziness quotient of the world just went down. PEACE

The anal probe called iPhone

2009-06-05T11:04:00.010+05:30

I know this post is real late, cliche and already written a thousand times...so fuck you too.

The "i" in the iPhone actually stands for IDIOT. Let me explain what an idiot means using a scale. This is so, all iPhone using idiots can understand who they are.

Intelligence Quotient (IQ) Scale:
70-100 - Americans
50-69 - George W Bush Jr.
30-49 - Moron
less than 30 - IDIOT

Here is a pictorial representation of what an IDIOT is.

courtesy: urban dictionary

I am sick of these i-phones using wankers sticking their fingers up each others asses cause the Sith Lord Steve Jobs told them to. Steve Jobs should actually be called Hand Jobs cause that's what he is handing out to the customer, along with TONS if bullshit. On a positive note...Steve Jobs is dying.....slowly.
All these i-phone using idiots are so high on the "feel good", "revolutionary" technology that they take the buzz outta weed and feel Bambi may visit them any second.

The iPhone in India is currently available in 2 varieties - 8 and 16 GB.
Nokia rules. It let's me do everything an iPhone does not and a lot more. Let's compare a few features of my Nokia E63 with a 16 GB i-phone.

I pay 1/3rd the price for a better product. I got the same camera as the iPhone does and making a call is so much simpler. I am no designer or expert in this field. But I will tell you what I am an expert at----identifying bullshit, and I could smell Apple's shit a light year away.

"My shit dont stink"
- Steve Jobs, Apple
WRONG

Marathi Manoos Maahan sue Australia

2009-06-02T09:29:00.005+05:30

In a move that stunned humans over an IQ of 83, the Marathi Manoos Maahan (3M) party has moved the courts over the happenings in Australia. "That ain't fair mate"- said the 3M spokesman with a hint of pun. He is the same bloke who gave this interview sometime back.

This time around this is what the 3M spokesman had to say.

Correspondent: What is your reaction to all this?
3M: We have take the Australian government to task and will take this case to the Supreme court if necessary. Who does this narcissist Kevin Rudd think he is? How can he treat us Indians like this? Priety Zinta showered her love on Brett Lee as if he was Bhaskar Lele and this is what we get in return? Australians are behaving like the convicts they really are. When asked if this would turn into a violent protest in Maharashtra where state property will be set on fire the answer was an affirmative. This is how we will show we care.

Correspondent: Is this move politically motivated?
3M: WTF are you taking about?

Correspondent: Well, taking the Aussie govt to court over attacks on Indians is an excellent move to project yourself as a party ready to fight elections at a national level.
3M: Bhayaji, I dont know what you are taking about? Which people? What national party?
We are taking the Aussies to court over copying our business model. We started the trend of throwing out "outsides" and these goras just picked up the same model and used it shamelessly. We have a patent on this model for crying out loud. If these cheater-cocks think they can get away with shit like this, they are in for something else......

You offended woman?

2009-05-27T16:36:00.006+05:30

Disclaimer: I am not a sexist.

....but sometimes, just sometimes one comes across pictures that tell a story. I got 4 photographs that tell 2 stories. I aint going to spell it out for you. Put 2 and 2 together.

click on images for larger view

Story 1:

Story 2:

We are like this only

2009-05-26T15:26:00.004+05:30

In our line of work we have a lot of European/American clients coming to Hyderabad for projects. We give them a cultural load-down before they come in. Here are snippets of what we tell them.

A) Racial Abuse
Talking in English: Most Indians in urban India understand English. If the urge to racially abuse the locals hits you, make sure you communicate in your native language. Americans have a tough time as English is all they speak.

B)Language
Word translations: Indian to Rest
a. "Our period's lasted 60 mins = "Its a 60 min class"
b. Flat = Apartment
c. 2 into 2 = 2 times 2
d. Rubber = Eraser
e. Lift = Elevator
f. A hot looking girl = Item
g. Bill = Cheque
h. Bisleri = Bottled water

C. Travel
Looking for street name: Directions in India are meant to be asked not figured out. Generally one cannot give you an exact address without a "landmark".
Always get pre-paid taxis or autos. If you can find someone who agrees to charge by the meter, jump in.

This lame-ass post has been put up as I am in no mood to write but want to stay in touch.

Airtel advertisment sells drugs

2009-05-11T10:29:00.005+05:30

"A friend in need is a friend indeed, but a friend with weed is better". Words carved in stone by a friend of mine, a.k.a Carlito a.k.a The Legend.

If any of you have seen a junkie and the new Airtel 16 MBPS broadband advertisement you will know the correlation instinctively. This advertisement was initially created for a drug rehab facility. Aitel liked the concept and muscled its way to buy the advt.

All the fuckers in this advertisement are 16-18 yrs old "wannabe" YUPPIES high on....from what I can make of it...Meth and are one step short of blowing their brains out. The "kinda" kids who "wanna" say sup dude, ma bike, ma mobile, ma girlfriend but end up saying maa chudi.

The video has all signs of these being drug addicts with VD....here is the proof?
1. Standing on the roadside without a purpose--- while twitching
2. Playing with hands while looking down--- while twitching
3. A million screens of television rushing towards you
4. Depressed faces, due to lack of junk combined with constipation
5. Tapping the table--- while twitching
It so reminds me of Trainspotting.

Actually, this should be the video title:
"Suicide isn't so bad, give it a chance". Starring: Dolly the crack whore

I cannot believe that people get away with such shit. Watch the video on mute and you will know what I am talking about.

Disclaimer: The advertisement is real. The rest is how I interpret it. Nothing else

Singapore- la la land

2009-05-06T09:50:00.003+05:30

Pics from my trip to Singapore:

Sen and I @ hooters

Unpredictable weather

Food! No snakes, snails or lizards.

Tummy rub for good luck

Singapore eye.

If you are a true blue Indian (read: don't believe in following rules) Singapore can be a nightmare for you. Singaporeans are suckers for making and following rules. Drug trafficking attracts the death penalty, jaywalking attracts huge fines. Take a wild guess what happens if you crash your car.

I have never seen a whole country being so compliant. Its scary. It almost resembles a drone army. An army brainwashed into following rules. Everyone's polite and nice.

I met friends and family and that was the saving grace. There isn't a must see that I can recommend. If you have the time and money, go someplace else.

Vote me, vote me a lot

2009-04-13T11:54:00.006+05:30

It election time baby. This drama in real life beats the ones published by Readers Digest hands down. Some Daffy ducks and silly wabbits you cannot miss:

1. Sanjay Dutt: a.k.a the abomination. How far the seed had fallen from the tree. After BJP took onboard the "Shotgun" Sinha, SP not to be undone took on Sanju AK-47 Baba. After all, he is one of the few people who can say with conviction " been there, done that"

Speaking of the Samajwadi Party....their have promised us la-la land by planning to abolish Computers and English. The feel both these are deterrents to the country. Read here..

2. Celebrity MPs- here is a list of celebrity MPs and their dismal attendance record.

3. Then we have a mud slinging and statements that bring about extreme WTFness:

a. Priyanka Gandhi saying: "Rahul is PM material, says sister Priyanka". Why are PGs statements heard, printed, repeated and analyses when she isn't into mainstream politics? But guess her last name is Gandhi so its all ok. To come to think of it, Rahul baba is also a Gandhi, so shut it.

b. Rabri Devi's saala remark: "Who is Lallan Singh? He is Nitish Kumar's saala. Everyone knows this. I say this openly. This is why Nitish Kumar holds Lallan Singh's hand all the time whether they are in a meeting or a rally"

Take a bow to a women who had trouble constructing a sentence at her first press conference. You have come a long way baby.

c. Varun Gandhi: the puffed up mamma's boy. He is being hailed as BJPs Frankenstein after his "hate" speech.

d. Rahul baba's priceless pearls of wisdom:
" I should not feel ashamed of the poverty in this country. Congress believes in the future of every Indian" TOI, Hyderabad, 11th April, 2009

The fact that the Congress has been sodomizing us for the past 60 odd years, its no surprise that now- no one minds and no one cares. I think all the Gandhi cousins played "doctor" as kids. They seemed to have carved out each other cerebrums.

e. Now that Salman Khan isn't running over slum dwellers, he is asking them to vote for the Congress. Salman will take those who do vote for the Congress for a joy ride in his car for a meal of blackbuck biriyani.

f. ‘I don’t like Sonia’s face & voice’ Raking up the issue of Sonia Gandhi’s ‘foreign’ origin, a senior leader of Bihar’s ruling JD(U) said he disliked “her face, voice and language” and termed her popularity and acceptance as a national leader “unfortunate for the country”. Link

Sonia's reaction to this:

I could go on but you know the rest.

On a serious note, after Jaagore have come across another initiative. Its called Let's Vote. More details here.

Pureit to Fuckit in 60 seconds

2009-04-01T09:27:00.007+05:30

Product: Hindustan Unilever (HU), Pureit - water purifier
Scene: The Pureit team meeting at a fancy ballroom in a 5-Star hotel where biscuits are called cookies
The Conversation:
Stooge 1: What should be that one emotion evoked in our customers after experiencing our product and service?
Stooge 2: Wow?
Stooge 3: I love Pureit?
Stooge 1: Na. Too cheesy
Stooge 4: "Fuck it"
Stooge 1: Interesting. Please elaborate
Stooge 4: Well, first of all it rhymes. Pureit and Fuckit. People who dare to become our customers should at the end of the day have a feeling of such helplessness with our product, service and the entire experience that all they feel should be captured in these 2 tiny words -"Fuckit"
Stooge 1: All agree? Great. So be it.

And that is how Pureit was born. The bastard child of Hindustan Unilever. I thought Airtel, Reliance etc were shit,that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god awful customer relations,that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers, until I met Pureit.

I made the mistake of buying Pureit and come service time, it was an experience more painful than a man with 6 fingers giving you a full hand prostate exam. I spent 8 days calling the "no help" Pureit helpline, being lied to on a daily basis on how important I was and that my work would be done by that very evening. WRONG.

My search for the Pureit all India service head met with as much success as the US has with catching Osama. The "top" management are spooks. Ghost riders if you may. They are impossible to trace. Fortunately Linkedin came to my rescue. I wrote to random people at HU and asked them for help. The guided me to the right person in Mumbai, who I wrote to. By that evening the Hyderabad Pureit guys would have blown me if I told them to. The Mumbai gentleman was of great help but the damage had been done.

Verdict: Stay away from Pureit like the plague. Other that non-existent service I don't think it provides reverse osmosis which is essential for drinking water.

Here are a few more Pureit reviews.

Earth Hour -2

2009-03-20T11:26:00.008+05:30

Been a month today since I quit smoking. No pat on the back required....squeeze my ass instead. My will to write is dying with my urge to smoke.

Saw that "Earth Hour" stuff of the news this morning. I cant get enough of that shit and the farce it is. Hyderabad has been having 2 hour power cuts everyday for a week now. I has earlier written about the Earth Hour here. Here is how I visualized it happened in rich, white, suburban America this time around.

click on image for a better view

Don't get confused. The black lady is the maid.

Fuck the Panda

2009-03-16T14:46:00.004+05:30

Why the fuck should I care about Pandas'? What have they ever done for me? What have they ever done that has profited this world except give a bunch of looser conservationists part time jobs.

People say Pandas are smart. Wrong. Let me tell you something about Pandas. They are dumb. An animal who wont hump to save its own race is real dumb and abnormal. Procreation being a living beings first instinct and all. Plus if the current stock of Pandas keep eating they will exhaust the global bamboo supply by 2011.

Can Pandas do any of the following:
1) Run fast enough to star on a betting circuit?
2) Become a Jedi?
3) Replace bulls in a ring?
4) Work for NASA?

The answer to ALL the above questions is NO. I say we need to put them out of their misery.
Get me a Panda that actually does something and then we can talk.

Welcome to the dark side

2009-03-10T12:20:00.004+05:30

This is one of my favorite topics.
I love to read about serial killers, what goes into making one, types of serial killers, deeds, trial etc.

Here are the FAQs for you:

Q1)What is a serial killer?
A1) A serial killer is a person who murders usually 3 or more people over a period of more than 30 days with a "cooling off" period between each murder, whose motivation for killing is largely based on psychological gratification.

Q2) What are the types of serial killers?
A2) a) Organized/nonsocial offenders & b) Disorganized/asocial offenders

a) Organized/nonsocial offenders- are usually of high intelligence, have an above average IQ (>110 range), and plan their crimes quite methodically, usually abducting victims, killing them in one place and disposing of them in another.

b)Disorganized/asocial offenders- Disorganized/asocial offenders are often of low intelligence, have a below average IQ (<90), and commit their crimes impulsively.

Q3) What motivates them?
A3) The motives of serial killers are generally placed into 4 categories: 1)visionary 2)mission-oriented 3)hedonistic 4) power/control; however, there is often considerable overlap among these categories

Q4) Their presence in popular culture?
A4) a) The Silence of the Lambs b)Hannibal c) Psycho d) Seven e) Copycat etc. You also have serial killer encyclopedias, trading cards, and action figures.

Q5) Famous serial killers?
A5) David Berkowitz aka "Son of Sam", Ted Bundy, and Ed Gein (part of the character of Buffalo Bill were based on him)

Q6) Any desi slugdogs?
A6) Yes - Surender Koli and Moninder Singh Pandher, Raman Raghav, Charles Sobhraj and thug Behram who seems to top the list of number of kills.

Just finished watching Dexter season 3 this weekend. Dexter is an American television drama series that airs on American premium channel Showtime. Set in Miami, the series centers on Dexter Morgan, a serial killer governed by a strict moral code who works for the Miami Metro Police Department as a blood spatter analyst.

Dexter's opening title sequence features an extended montage where ordinary day-to-day events such as shaving, flossing and preparing breakfast are used to visually evoke Dexter's darker nature. Turn up the volume....

P.S- Salman Khan is not a serial killer. He is just a sociopath.
P.P.S - Don't get all judgmental now. I know you dream of your mother-in-laws falling off the 10th floor balcony or siblings ODing so you get all the jaidaat.

Info from: wikipedia

Of mice and women

2009-03-05T09:23:00.003+05:30

Scenario 1

Was over at my friends place sometime back. Both of em belong to Mumbai. The wife was going home for the weekend. This is how the conversation panned out:

Wife: You want anything from home?

Husband: Yea. Get some raw poha from Mumbai. Miss that shit here. Also tell my mum to give you her poha recipe. (His mum makes the best poha ever. I vouch for that).

Wife: You mean to say the poha I make for you is not good?

Husband: Na na. Poha is my mum's specialty. Like she mastered in Poha making.

Wife: My mum makes good poha too you know....

I took the hint and left.

Scenario 2:

My wife and I were about to go to bed yesterday when....

Wife: You know what day is tomorrow?

Me: Yes. Thursday.

Wife: Do you know what DAY is tomorrow?

Me: (my head spinning trying to figure it out)....ahhh...you mom's birthday?
No, no....dad's.

Wife: Neither. You don't bother to keep a track of any important dates as far as family is concerned right?

Me: Na sweets. Nothing like that. (I grabbed my cellphone and opened the reminder section). Tell me what is tomorrow and I will make sure I wish that person.

Wife: (Smiling) Go to sleep. Am just messing with you. Nothing special about tomorrow.

WTF

2009-03-03T14:01:00.005+05:30

This is an article posted on Rediff after the Sri Lankan cricket team was attacked in Pakistan. WTFness at many levels:

1) "They are the same people who attacked Mumbai" - The ghosts of the 9 killed and 1 alive Kasab escaped from custody to carry out this attack?

2) "Pakistan Punjab governor Salmaan Tahseer, Governor of Pakistan's Punjab province on Tuesday, said the attack on the Sri Lankan cricket team's bus in Lahore [Images] was similar to the Mumbai's 26/11 attack" - wtf. 250 people v/s 4 people killed. Mumbai was a suicide mission while this was a hit and run

3) "Around 180 people were killed in Mumbai last November" - 180? Really? Close to 250...

4) Rediff printing it the way it is....

Cruel

2009-03-02T20:42:00.001+05:30

Scene: Felon on death roll, an hour before his execution with 2 prison guards.

Guard 1: Any meal you want man. Name it.

Felon: Double cheese burger with extra fries.

Guard2: Will that be for now or take-away?

Hail the newspaper I read that in....

Motorcycle diaries

2009-02-25T09:59:00.014+05:30

Stumbled upon these photographs of the ride to Konkan 2 yrs back. I am shamelessly picking up details from N's blog .

Date: 26th Jan-29th Jan 2007
Ride: 2 Bullets
Kms: 996 kms in 3 days
Starring:
1) N a.k.a - "onsite"- slowdown or not, our man is either in the US or Australia pimping his company to the goras. Bitches about it whenever he has the chance.

2) P a.k.a - "Boss man" - Onsite's ex-boss and good friend

3) A a.k.a -"The Guru" - more weird than most I have met. We worked together in Dubai in 2005.

4) Me

Waiting for the rest. First stop. Breakfast.

En route

Best ghat ever. Roads curve, smooth as silk and one-way.

Lunch/Dinner for most part of the trip

Konkan at night

Bullet on the water. Saved ourselves 2 hrs with this river crossing. With the boatman pissed drunk a bit scary.

The beaches of Chiplun

"The Guru" and I

Video: Listen in.....

Tempers running high on the first night. Lousy route planning did us in.

Cold Turkey

2009-02-23T10:44:00.002+05:30

A little over 60 hrs since my last smoke. Have quit for the first time since I started 7 years ago. Don't feel any different other that my mouth being as dry as the Sahara and people around me happy.