Raging Canuck

glasses of wonder

2012-01-26T15:47:00.002-05:00

Escaping the Apple tree: Samsung Galaxy II X

2012-01-16T16:16:00.001-05:00

After years of waining enthusiasm and declining returns with my Iphone 3G, I finally had opportunity to abandon the walled garden and lept headfirst into the madness that is Android.

This is that story.

I have been using the Samsung Galaxy S II X (some elegant naming there) for over a month now and while the OS has quirks, the open ability to wring every piece of performance out of the phone more than makes up for it. Unlike the 2 year abandonment cycle I suffered under Apple, the hardware inside the s II x is robust enough to ensure usability until the next upgrade, even with eventual OS upgrades.

BROKEN NOT BURNED

While I had jailbroken the 3G in order have access to basic functionality that the 4.* iOS was no longer efficiently managing, Android announces it's open architecture when you first activate it. Running a dual-band GSM/CDMA modem, I can transplant SIM cards as I move from network to network. A handy feature for the occasional traveller this is a amazing convenience for jet-setters.

The first thing I did post activation was install a custom rom in order to root the phone. Only then did I discover there are at least 5 types of Galaxy S II phones and was pretty sure I bricked my brand new phone (note: the Samsung firmware tracks the number times you root the phone, voiding the warranty for realsies).

I was able to recover and install the proper rom for my carrier, fully rooted. There is a plethora of information on the web about the various ROM available for each phone. I am hoping to get ICS installed soon.

NOT YOUR GRANDMA'S PHONE
The UI experience out of the box is confusing and muddled especially in comparison to iOS or Windows Phone 7. Unlike the elegence and instant information available in the Metro interface, or sleek responsiveness of iOS (prior to ver 4), Gingerbread 2.3.5 is an unmitigated mess.
Using 3rd party apps to customize the home screen (widgetlocker) brings the experience closer to iOS but I found myself aching for the livetiles and feedback found in Metro.

In exchange for a cluttered unintutive interface, the Android OS is an endless toy for a tech noodler. Like old school PC gaming, those who like to noodle will want to dive deep into wringing ever bit of performance of out the device.

EVERYTHING AT A COST

While a dual-core ARM processer running at 1.5 GHZ is impressive and far above the specs of the iPhone 3G or the LG Optimus 7, the battery takes a beating. The stock 1850ma battery lasts 4-6 hours of normal use as long as normal use includes an app that disconnects the "4g" modem when the screen locks and screen brightness reduced to minimum. I was able to extend that by turning notifications off completely and using Juice Defender to control all connectivity and screen options.

The screen is spectacular-bright and colorful, with deep blacks and no discernible off-angle for viewing. The touchscreen is responsive and accurate with little of the hitchs and staggers that plague most Android phones. Combined with the high download speeds of the "4G" modem (on Telus it's really just dual HSPA+ not LTE) the screen comes at a painful cost. I had gotten used to eeking out 8 hours of battery from the Iphone 3G and carried a charging cable everywhere, but it was not an experience I wanted to repeat. Fortunately for me, the open nature of Android offers another leg up on Apple: removeable batteries.

BATTERY, BATTERY, WHEREFORTH ART THOU?

After some dedicated research on Amazon (I had been burnt by a case purchase that was the wrong make) I settled on an aftermarket 3000ma battery. It came with a custom back cover to allow for the larger bulge protruding from the lower half of the handset. Made from a similar, cheap feeling thin plastic, both the stock and aftermarket covers are excellent excuses for a case. Dropping the phone on the carpet popped the battery loose more than once.

Intuitively, the larger battery results in double the life, enabling me to watch Netflix on the commute over "4G". The stream looks and sounds great, leaving me with low teens worth of battery when I hit the front step. Luckily I usually have a back-up ready to go. There are a ton of inexpensive third-party batteries and chargers available, to the extent that I don't see charging by wire happening except in the car, if necessary. To be honest, swapping batteries on the go is strangely empowering.

IMA CUT YOU

While Angry Birds is free* (ad-supported) on Android it is the least of the gaming opportunities avaiable. As a fan of the Dead Space console/Pc games, I wanted to give the mobile version a spin, and glory, is it good. Though the phone gets warm with extended use and the battery life drops 1% per minute of play, the game itself looks and controls great. The larger screen on the s II x spread the touch controls out, and the graphics look like early PS2 in the environments and enemies, but the main character is insanely detailed. Atmospheric and tense, it plays as Dead Space should, with mobile suited checkpoints.

It is impossible to overstate how kludgy and complicated Android is as an out-of-box experience. My wife, a WP7 user, instantly got gadget envy over my new phone, and when I handed it to her, could not figure out how to make a call. The only saving grace are the deep options to customize the phone, making it entirely unique and personal, an experience Apple tries very hard to prevent.

Decompression is a state of mind: Why I hate modern comic's

2011-10-27T10:20:00.001-05:00

I made the mistake of purchasing two new comics back to back, digitally. I rarely read comics anymore, my $50 a week habit down to one or two books. The hope is to buy a tablet eventually and read more comics there (Amazon Fire makes me tingle).

The comics in question were IDW's Cold War # 1 wrtitten and drawn by John Byrne and BOOM's Irredeemable #1 written by Mark Waid with art by Peter Krause.

John Byrne has been making comics since the mid-70's and I have been a fan of his work since the early 80's. With Neal Adams inspired line-work Byrne has mastered visual storytelling, as displayed by the first 4 pages of Cold War. A dialogue and caption free story of intrigue unfolds at a breakneck pace. Clearly told in the "classic" style where plot and story drive character and plot, there is a casual confidence in the work. The eye flows across the page, naturally drawn from panel to panel, and even without dialogue, a dense story is told economically.

Mark Waid has been writing comics for over a decade as part of a "new wave" of creators, joining the likes of Brian Bendis and Warren Ellis. The seperation point of this new generation of writers and artists is a deliberate move away from a "classic" style and more into decompressed storytelling. Decompression relies on repetition of panels to create dialogue scenes, show time passing and attempts to evoke a more "cinematic" experience. Reading much like movie storyboards, decompression lends well to collected volumes as the format of choice rather than self-contained 22 page comics. Dialogue drives character, which drives story.

The first 4 pages of Irredeemable is gripping stuff, as a panicked costumed man tries to save his family from attack. A four page glimpse into a 60 second moment feels stretched as the violent payoff in the final panel is the inevitable conclusion as established on the first page. Told mostly in medium shots and close-up's, there is no sense of place, only of people.

Decompressed storytelling feels like wasted opportunity to me, no doubt because I grew up on "classic" storytelling. There is a fundemental lack of economy, with a "tell don't show" mantra permeating an entirely visual medium.

Maybe it's not a bad thing that I have mostly stopped reading comics.Mostly.

The Neighbor’s cat

2011-10-21T12:01:00.001-05:00

When she screamed it was a high pitched panicked wail of my name. We lived on the third floor of a hundred year old house in uptown Toronto. Our deck was the same size as our bedroom and overlooked a cemetery. It was grand, for a 600 sq. ft. apartment with a sloped ceiling and a nice view.

The stairs doubled back into a well, leading the second floor, and wrapped again to the ground floor. She had charged up the stairs, thrown open the door and scared the shit out of me. I leapt down the narrow stairwell to find her already moving back down to the ground floor. She was crying and shouting that a cat had been hit by a car outside of our house.

We lived on one of the highest accident prone corners in the city. Cars racing north and south on Mount Pleasant slammed into cars making left hand turns on a near daily basis. In the outside southbound lane next to our driveway a white form lay motionless.

She had told me the cat was still moving when she came to get me. It wasn’t moving anymore.

She wanted to launch herself into the midday traffic to grab the cat, tears streaming down her face. I stopped her, told her to wave cars off while I found a cardboard box. Returning I stepped into the road, and checked the cat.

It was dead. It was starting to cool. It hadn’t lived long after impact. Squatting over it, I yanked the collar free, suddenly boiling with rage. I gently shifted the cat into the box and carried it to the sidewalk.

Our own cat watched impassively through the window, 3 floors up. She had never been outside. She hopefully never would be. It offended me that someone who cared enough for their pet to collar it would let it meander through a heavy traffic area. It disgusted me.

The collar had a tag, the address was the house across the intersection. Fuming I followed my girlfriend across, carrying the box. She rang the doorbell and we waited. A mom in her 30’s answered. “Your cat was killed. By a car.” I blurted. My girlfriend stammered a condolence as the shocked woman burst into tears. She reached for the box. We apologized again for their loss as she thanked us for bringing the cat to her. The door closed with a whisper.

My girlfriend berated me for being insensitive and I had been, but I remained furious they had treated their pet so callously.

A few days later, the doorbell buzzed. I made the long walk door two flights to find that neighbor trying to figure out how to push a small package into our mailbox. She smiled and reintroduced herself. She wanted to thank us again for bringing her cat home. She handed me a bottle of wine and a bathset, the kind of thing you give for a housewarming.

I smiled and thanked her and I finally understood she had loved this cat as much as any other pet owner would. That she was grateful that someone else cared enough to not leave it in the street to be defiled by further cars and disposed of by the city.

I understood I was wrong to judge her, but I hoped she would keep the next cat indoors.

I still hope that.

The girl on the train

2011-10-13T09:32:00.002-05:00

She is remarkable. Young and vibrant, she drums her carefully manicured nails across the edge of her portable keyboard. She sneaks secret smiles as she types, delighted at something she has written. Her nails click against the quiet keys, driving silver bumps to rise in a line below the space bar. She runs her fingertips over the bumps and smiles again, muttering to herself over what she has written.

She is blind. She is on the train every day.

She steals her transit pass from a pocket or purse and flicks it next to her ear. She does this twice to confirm it is what she thinks it is. It is carefully placed inside a pocket in her backpack.

She packs her things the stop before we leave the train. Her cane snaps to length with efficiency as the train slows. The other passengers give her wide berth as the cane sweeps back and forth, tapping the floor in front of her. Some offer to help and she smiles but declines.

She taps her way slowly across the platform, wary of the drop 15 feet on either side of her; wary of the circular concrete platforms that dot the center of the station, where some passengers sit.

She is not smiling as I walk past, her brow furrowed with concentration as she listens for possible pitfalls.

She is remarkable.

I do not believe in contractions: True Grit (2010)

2011-10-12T16:21:00.000-05:00

True Grit is a modern western in the truest sense, with dialogue completely devoid of contractions and dirty, worn people and places belying the mystique of the era. Brutal violence is laden with the blackest of comedy as only the Coen brothers can, tonally teetering without losing balance.

Shortly after the murder of her father by a thug, a 14 year girl that is world-weary beyond her years hires a law-bending alcoholic US Marshal to give chase. Tagging along is an arrogant Texas Ranger who drifts in and out of the story as tempers flare and wane.

More startling than the breakout performance of Hailee Steinfeld as Mattie Ross is the spectacular cinematography. Iconic imagery plays both to and against the Western stereotype across a painterly canvas. Evoking the expectation of sun-bleached plains, barren wilds, and natural light bathed interiors, negative space is used beautifully.

Characters often stand silhouetted against shocks of color and drift between darkness and pools of light.

Unlike the modern sensibilities of high contrast super saturated film tending towards blue and oranges, natural tones are given full play. Earthy worn textures pattern everything, and are crisp. Shadows are deep inky blacks that reveal detail while dropping into darkness.

The striking imagery stands to enhance and tell the story rather than work against or hide underneath it. Unlike the journeyman work that permeates most filmed media, this is true artistry and craftsmanship.

Easily the most beautifully photographed film I have seen in years, True Grit confirms Roger Deacon’s status as one of film’s greatest cinematographers.

A road less travelled: Rubber

2011-10-03T14:24:00.000-05:00

A refreshingly quirky French film, Rubber explores exploitation and art with a self-referencing film about a killer telekinetic tire. Shot in a startling digital style that affects an intentional homage to the long-lens, short focus look of tilt-shifting, Rubber has a gorgeous palette of desert colors sharply captured.

Opening with a literal Greek chorus of spectators watching the film from within the film, both they and the viewer are introduced to a monologue describing the concept of "no reason". Things happen in films for "no reason" we are told, and this film pays homage to that. While the concept falls apart when they address why we can't see air, it does fulfil its non-sensical 4th wall breaking mission statement to the very last frame.

The tire itself begins with a slow awakening, becoming self-aware and clumsily mobile. Once free and able to roll, the tire explores the world with the spastic joy of a new calf, until it comes upon a plastic water bottle. Gingerly at first, it soon learns that the most immediate and powerful way it can affect the world around it is destructively. Stymied by its inability to similarly crush a beer bottle, frustration ripples through the tire and explodes outwards shattering the bottle. The tire continues its travels, randomly telekinetically exploding things until it finally turns towards killing people.

This is the point where things get weird.

Rubber fully embraces the conceipt of viewer awareness, incorporating common fails in theater-going ettiquette as well as the dangers of candy from strangers. It digs deep into horror/cop movie tropes, mocking and elevating simultaneously.

If you love film, and have a taste for the unusual, you will dig Rubber.

Top (numbered) things i learned at PAX

2011-08-30T14:03:00.000-05:00

1. Cleanliness: the sad truth of a gathering of nerds is that sterotypes exist for a reason. More than once I was assailed by a usually young man surrounded by a cloud of stank. This morphs from annoyance to torture when you are herded into a under-ventilated room to steam for hours while waiting for a panel. Wash. Somewhere. Also, brush your teeth or use mouthwash. Mouth rot wafting over a shoulder in line is a gag-inducing experience.
Pro-tip: carry deodorant, travel-size mouthwash or gum, baby-wipes, a spare shirt and socks in a back-pack or duffel. If you can smell you, other people can too.

2. Santize: Travel-size hand sanitizers are cheap and easy to find and the convention site has hand-sanitzer dispensers EVERYWHERE. There is no such thing as too often and if you shake hands, offer the person you greeted a squirt. My wife came with a bag full of bottles and we used half in 3 days.
Pro-tip: touch exit/entrances with any part other than your hands if possible. When you finish with a controller, santize immediately and if you have wipes,do a solid and wipe down the controller.

3. Plan for plans to fall apart: PAX Prime is filled to the brim with things to do, to the point one could spend a day playing magic or tabletop games ALONE. There are tons of panels of varying size and popularity and endless opportunities to explore, meet people, and play games. Lines may be too long, #paxnaps make occur, or something better may wander along.
Pro-tip: Walk the convention hall, get comfortable with the general location of halls and if you are able to go for more than one day, scout under-travelled areas for future exploration.

4. Prioritze: The big panels are worth seeing once, but the lines can be up to 2 hours or more, sometimes outdoors, sometimes in rooms too small for the amount of people. They will also be availble (usually) as a podcast within a week. Check out the smaller panels. Depending on the presenters it may be a dud but it may also be a gem. Your time and inconvenience have value and it applies to line-ups for panels and games.
Pro-tip: Vendors will OFTEN have high-profile, long-wait-at-their-own-booth games, available for demos, with virtually little or no lines. I played ME 3 within 20 minutes of the floor opening not at the ME booth but at Microsoft's.

5. Try something new: This year most of the big games were either on the verge of being released this fall or are so far out that all the demo's are hand's off. While playing Mass Effect 3 was awesome, waiting in line for 2 hours was not (see #4). We checked out a ton of smaller games and indie games, and were excited to talk to the developers.
Pro-tip: there is rarely a line at an indie game and the developers are nervous and delighted to talk about their work. If you have ANY interest in making games, these guys are happy to talk tech.

6. Read the fine print: Most if not all of the hotels offered group rates with PAX charge for wireless access in the room. This charge is defined BY DEVICE that registers against the login site.At $11/day/device these charges can add up quickly.
Pro-tip: spoof your devices to have all the same MAC address or create a private VPN within your room to avoid insane overages.

PAX is a remarkable event. It celebrates the best of diverse community and lives by a single rule: don't be a dick.

Can't wait till next year.

Unlimited pros and the one con:Surviving 3rd Party ISP support

2011-08-22T11:32:00.003-05:00

The last year has seen unprecedented public visibility regarding 3rd party ISP's such as Teksavvy due to the CRTC's UBB hearings. While public outcry was initially misdirected as a cry against retail UBB, something that had been in place for a year, it shone a spotlight on wholesale UBB and the place of 3rd party ISP's.

UBB has been placed on the CRTC's back-burner as the 4 major ISP's (Bell, Rogers, Telus,Shaw) re-allign their retail offerings to mask or incentivise consumers to place less weight on UBB concerns. Teksavvy, my current ISP, continues to offer unlimited or near unlimited data plans for less than the unbundled services offered by Telus or Shaw. As I learned over the last week, this gain comes at a cost and is likely the hurdle that limits 3rd party ISP's customer base to less than 10% of the market.

TECH SUPPORT

Having recently purchased a house, I placed a service change request with Teksavvy well over a month before the move. Having moved twice prior, I fully expected the service to be unavailable and require troubleshooting after we took possession, as that had been the status quo.

I was delighted that on the day, service was live and functioning. For a full 45 days my dsl was uninterrupted.

On the 46th day, not only was service interrupted but it disappeared entirely. Normally a dry loop ADSL line has 50 volts DC and 0 volts AC as there is no dial tone. Not only was signal gone, but the line had no voltage as well. I placed a ticket with Teksavvy.

Two days later Telus sent out a contractor to check the demark on the outside of the house.During the initial support call Teksavvy went to great lengths to remind me that if the issue was INSIDE the house and a support call was made, Telus would charge me at least $100.

Given the near decade long partnership I have had with Teksavvy I am more than familiar at this point with the technical issues that can beseige a connection. The average consumer is likely not and a stern warning about overage charges is unsettling at best.

NOT UNCOMMON

Telus called to advise they were 10 minutes from the house the next day. Over an hour and half later they called to confirm signal was present that the demark. I can only assume there were issues on their side that needed to be addressed. It has happened to me more than once, that both Bell and Telus contractors have been working in the neighbourhood, and by choice or accident, pulled the card for my service. It only happens once, but the inference is clear, either the contractors have little or no knowledge of wholesale ISP's or they have a mandate to interrupt service.

What was uncommon in this instance is that I checked the line for voltage and found none. Knowing that Telus would have had to confirm service at the demark, I opened it up and checked. 50 volts DC present. What was missing was the other end of the line I had been using for service. I can only assume several lines had been fed into the house from the demark, and they picked the newest one, then cut the other(s).

ANTI-COMPETIVE PRACTICES

Another common issue is the questionable practice both cable and dsl providers have of completing an installation by entirely removing or hiding access to the other's service. In this case, the previous owner's used Shaw for home phone, and the installer had not only re-routed the house phone lines to a distribution strip, they had severed and coiled multiple service lines for phone as far up and inside the basement ceiling as they could reach. Literally armed with a flashlight and a knowledge of what to look for I was able to extricate the service line but the average consumer would require a costly interior service call by the incumbant, seperate from their ISP, to resolve this issue.

With a the (new) service line in hand I was able to confirm signal inside the house and attach it to the distribution strip. Theoretically I should be able to install my modem at any jack and receive service.

NO ALTERNATIVE

With signal and a modem able to sync, I was enormously frustrated to find an inability to authenticate. Simply put, my user-name and password was not being passed from Telus to Teksavvy. As a wholsesale customer, my service is supposed to be handed entirely off Telus's network, using them as a conduit to Teksavvy. I can only speculate but not only was my service cut off by Telus physically, the profile allowing me access to my ISP had been removed as well. 4 days into the outage I started checking other options and found them to be slim. I could have gone with Telus, cancelled Teksavvy and had service within a day, but at greater expense and more intrusive network management practices and low data caps. Shaw was unable to provide service as a tech appointment was needed for hookup on-site. Their lowest unbundled service was the same price as Teksavvy but 1 Mb download vs 6 Mb and again plagued by caps and intrusive network management.

Placing an escalated ticket finally resolved the issue the night of the 5th day, but left me deeply unsatisfied.

To escape retail UBB, the alternative is a wild west where the service provider is not responsible for maintaining the service. Without accountability and responsibilty wholesale ISP's are literally reliant on their competitors goodwill to maintain service, and seemingly unwilling or unable to hold the incumbants responsible.

*UPDATE* Teksavvy just called to confirm service and also confirmed that Telus had in fact moved my service from Teksavvy's ports to their own, leaving me authenticate unsuccessfully against Telus servers. Though it has now been corrected, this outage is an example of how a mistake on the part of the line-holders can cause a cascading failure, interrupting service for nearly a week. Daunting and expensive at best for non technical customers.

The STAIRWELL TO AWESOME

2011-08-18T21:09:00.000-05:00

We bought a house and now we decorate, NERD STYLE

In a van down by the river: the speaker scam

2011-05-30T11:39:00.000-05:00

Nearly 20 years ago I had opportunity to be without employment and tried a vast swath of "career's" that I found in the local want ads. All promised quick paths to big money and in many cases that may well have been true.

All that was required was a complete lack of ethics.

One gig in particular was brilliant in its audicity. The con was simple. Sell speakers out of a white windowless panel van that happened to have a sales permit neatly tucked in a grilled back window. Drive around, look for chumps that would buy a too-good-to-true working man's story, and pocket the $$.

This was back in the days of massive speaker cabinets and before home theater in a box. Back when a man's audiophilac reputation stood on the size of his woofer.

The pitch was the following, and it was entirely legal:

"Hey (man), you interested in some speakers? We were doing a delivery you know, and they loaded more pairs on the van than are on the invoice so we have a couple pairs sitting here. You know my boss is just gonna take them and sell them himself and pocket the difference so we figured we would make some coin, know what I mean. Check it out (show warranty and invoice) they normally are $500 a pair but I would do $300, just to get rid of them."

What the buyer doesn't know is that the van was intentionally loaded with only a few pairs of speakers, with the hope of selling a couple pairs a day. A couple pair of $50 speakers marked up to $200, $250, $300, $400-whatever deal you could make that gave the buyer the impression they got it for a steal.

At the end of the sale, an invoice was produced, a warranty delivered, and a pair of speakers out of the van.

The winner I was paired with drove a shiny Corvette, claimed to make $100k a year (in 1994) and dripped of slime. He was like a used car saleman without the charm.

He had a plan.

The plan was drive 100 km out of town to the nearest First Nations reserve ("'cause they all got money") and sell some speakers. That meant the Mohawk reserve in Cornwall, the same guys who allegedly smugggled cigrettes across from the US and like to blockade the 401 with buses and guns.

I was not a happy camper being brought into this, sitting on a speaker box in the back of a van while he sold and sold hard. He swung for the bleachers, that these were $1000 a pair and he would give them up for $600. The buyer invited him in to set them up and gave them a listen.

Then he paid $500 and received his invoice and warranty.

I lasted a day at that gig, and on the trip back to the city was entirely unable to suppress my contempt for the process.

10 years later a friend would call me to ask about the make of a pair speakers he just got a great deal on. I told him the story, a story he was now painfully familiar with. He put them on Ebay and made his money back.

3 years ago while I filled up my tank in Thunder Bay, a young man jumped out of a Honda Civic with a license in its window and asked me if I was interested in a great deal on some speakers.

The lesson? Too good to be true is always too good to be true, and a fool and his money are soon parted.

Usage-Based Billing (updated rates)

2011-05-26T10:38:00.001-05:00

Shaw has announced an updated pricing and cap schedule. While their page explaining the changes is overly convoluted, confusing and missing vital data, they have upped the ante. However, after "consulting" with their customers they have decided to continue Usage-Based Billing over and above montly recurring charges.

Starting in June Shaw will also be offering ONLY BUNDLED deals with their IPTV, please visit www.shaw.ca for those details. They have also eliminated the top speeds as unbundled offerings.

The plans are as follows by date:

As of May 26th 2011

SHAW
	Service Type	Speed	Data Cap	Overage Fee*	"Insurance" plans*	Unbundled Base Rate
Shaw Lite Speed	Cable	1 Mbps	30GB	$2.00/GB	For All Plans:	$37.00
Shaw High-Speed	Cable	7.5 Mbps	125GB	$2.00/GB	10 GB for $5/month	$49.00
Shaw Extreme	Cable	25 Mbps	250GB	$1.00/GB	60 GB for $20/month	$59.00

*currently unpublished on Shaw's website, so I am using old prices until otherwise notified.

Back and there again-Part 2

2011-05-23T23:26:00.000-05:00

Arrival in Oakville was welcome, after a torturous drive and a reminder of how of touch I was with Toronto traffic. In the short years I had been away the traffic seemed to double as the roads shrank and crumbled beneath the load. What was unsupportable in the past was becoming unusable, and Canada’s biggest city had no where to grow.

A reunion four or more years in the making, I knocked on the door of Erika and Mike, old friends and artists. I had met Erika over 10(!) years earlier, soon after moving to Toronto in 1995. She was student of Sheraton college and had answered a personal ad I had placed in a strange but wonderful thing called a “newspaper”. The internet was new. And it was dial-up. And it was AWESOME.

I referenced the comic “The Tick” in the ad, she got the reference immediately and a friendship was born. As years passed and I moved from girlfriend to girlfriend, I also moved farther and farther away from the downtown core of the city. What had been a 30 min drive in the late 90’s became a 1 hour drive in the mid 00’s and ended up a 1.5 hour drive at the end of the decade. By the time I left Ontario, time and distance had grown and I hadn’t seen either of them in years.

Without a plan, I arrived at their doorstep and was offered a place to sleep, invited out to dinner. It was as if time had stopped years ago and we slipped into comfortable conversation over fantastic food.

I have always been self-involved and easily distracted, more comfortable as an island and more likely to lose contact with people. Every reunion makes me ache to be a better friend but eventually old habits and bad communication sets in. I regret few things in my life, but I have always regretted not working harder at being a friend. Not spending more time outside this bubble of pyschobabble that darkens my thoughts. Part of me wonders if I don’t value my relationships more because I don’t value myself at all.

Erika and Mike were and continue to be great friends and generous hosts. We keep in touch via twitter, and I am constantly amazed by the raw talent on display between them. Creative and passionate, they work hard to do what they love.

Morning came too soon, as I had at least one cat sitting on my chest when I awoke. Erika left for work, and I hung out with Mike for a bit before heading back into the city, to make a lunch date with two more old friends.

Usage Based Billing (UBB) for the layman

2011-02-01T16:59:00.002-05:00

UBB provides ISP’s (Internet Service Providers) the ability to set data plan for their customers and then charge either overage fees or add “insurance” plans when their customer’s exceed their initial plans. Until late 2010, UBB was a non-issue, as most ISP’s including the big four (Bell, Rogers, Shaw & Telus) offered high-usage customers plans that included unlimited data.

Four Main ISP's Rates and Plans

The CRTC was petitioned last year in a joint effort by these ISP’s to implement UBB. It is important to note here that the petitioners ALL offer internet, phone, television and video-on-demand services under the same branding. They also have agreed to non-compete with each other in various regions, splitting the country down the middle with Bell/Rogers holding over 90% of users in the East and Shaw/Telus holding the west. In essence Canada is beleaguered with the very definition of a duopoly.

At the outset of broadband (mid-to-late 90’s) the CRTC at that time deregulated the transmission of data across phone lines, opening the market to competition. Cable would follow, but was not deregulated in as widespread a fashion. In essence, aging telecom infrastructure that had been installed over the previous 25-50 years and majority-funded by taxpayers was no longer the territory of a single company (Bell). This “last-mile” is the direct connection to the home and the most fiercely desired and fought over aspect of providing internet.

With deregulation, smaller ISP’s sprang up, offering not only dial-up but DSL, using the “last-mile” of wire originally owned and manager by Bell. Eventually these wholesellers would create co-location centers that allowed them to route internet traffic from Bell/Telus on to their own network and out to the last-mile, to be resold to the customer. While the physical maintenance and upgrade of the last-mile infrastructure was still the responsibility of Bell or Telus, the service provided was not. These smaller ISP’s would come to distinguish themselves from the larger competition by offering highly competitive packages, including unlimited data plans and flat rates. They would also gain notice by actively fighting the larger ISP’s in the network management petitions to the CRTC, arguing that while Bell/Telus can choose to throttle their own customer’s service, they had no business managing the wholesellers.

Despite the advantages smaller ISP’s provided, the disadvantages were numerous. Unlike the “fire & forget” nature of dealing with entrenched providers, setting up service with a reseller is often an arduous task of cat and mouse as both the reseller and the seller point fingers as to whose responsibility it is to ensure the service is functioning. In my personal experience, service calls usually end with the caveat that the line-provider (Bell/Telus) will charge $75-100 for a service call if the problem is not associated with infrastructure issues outside of the house. 100% of the time in my case, in three different cities on 5 different occasions with one reseller (Teksavvy) and two separate line-providers (Bell/Telus), services delays were due to infrastructure issue outside of the house.

YMMV

What is clear from my personal experience is the line-providers do everything they can within the letter of the law to make using a third-party ISP as difficult as possible.

Enter Usage Based Billing

In addition to petitioning the CRTC to allow them to charge their own customers for “excess” usage (true UBB would function like utilities, charging for data used, per unit), Bell took an extra step and petitioned to charge the wholesalers as well. Identified as a “cause of network congestion” due to offering unlimited data plans, Bell requested that it be able to charge the reseller on par with what it would charge its own customers. Essentially, resellers would be responsible for paying for their customer excess use over the set cap, independent of their ability to collect from those customers. Ironically, Bell’s own congestion data used in their pursuit of throttling their customers proves their network has virtually no congestion at any time, at this point.

It was no small coincidence that when US video-streaming giant Netflix entered the Canadian market, Rogers immediately reduced their data plans and increased their pricing. Anticipating that Canada would embrace Netflix with the same abandon the US has, Canadian ISP’s could rightly assume their networks would begin to see higher traffic. Years of not supporting, upgrading or reinvesting the massive profits earned from combined internet/cable/telephone services would instantly become a burden, as Canadians are beginning to use the internet as to way to supplant not support their entertainment habits. Cable subscriptions drop as prices get higher, and the advent of VOIP and cheaper cellular plans (often from the same companies) remove the need for home phone. Once only the backbone to deliver the bread and butter services of cable/phone, telecom infrastructure has become the essential service. Therein lays an opportunity to remove competition.

How This Applies to You

Data plans across the board have become smaller, and more expensive, with CRTC approved overages of up to $2/gig offered, well in excess of the cost of delivery. This same set of decisions allows Bell to charge it’s resellers for overages at 15% less than what it charges its own customers (ie. Bell charges $2/gig, Teksavvy can charge $1.75).

Teksavvy immediately released its revised pricing and sent the internet into a fury. Unlimited data would no longer be available ANYWHERE in Canada, and our prices, speeds, and data caps would be be among the highest, the slowest and the lowest among the industrialized world.

The practical reality is that internet will become more expensive. Any gamer (there are a lot of them), movie watcher (there are a lot of them), researcher or student will be negatively affected by this. Netflix adoption will drop as people sign up for unlimited movie viewing only to be hampered by a 25 gig cap. Many people will blow through the data without realizing it, using Skype, video messaging, streaming movies, or buying digital copies of music, video and games.

Quite literally, it will become a level playing field for the large ISP’s, where all of the entrants offer the same service at the same prices with the same overage fees. The differences will lie in how the telecom companies waive or reduce their fees in order to retain or increase subscriptions to home phone and cable. That is the competitive advantage Bell, Rogers, Telus and Shaw have over resellers, and with enforced UBB it cannot be overcome.
What Can You Do About It?

Already an online petition www.stopthemeter.ca has hundred of thousands of names on it. Both NDP and Liberal parties have seized it as the issue of the day, condemning UBB broadly. Minister of Industry Tony Clement has announced he will “review the CRTC decision”. Prime Minister Harper has ordered a review.

Write your MP and CC Tony Clement. You can find your local Member of Parliament by postal code here.
Be polite, concise and clear. Educate yourself about the CRTC decisions as found here.

Demand better from your elected representatives and support competition. Canada once led the world in broadband adoption; let our government know we will once again.

Back and there again-Part 1

2010-10-28T23:12:00.008-05:00

It's an cliche to say one can never go home, but like all cliche's it is also true. I recently had opportunity to head back east to southern Ontario. The excuse for the trip was a friend's third wedding (more on that later) and originally it was organized around the family tradition of Thanksgiving at the family farm, a week before the wedding.

My uncle's unfortunate remission understandably derailed those plans. The family spread to the four corners of the world and I endeavored to fill my week with as many visits with family and friends as possible. It has been two years since I was in the GTA and longer since I had visited Ottawa.

It would turn out to be a strange ride.

I was filled with trepidation on the flight in, I had made tentative arrangements with friends I hadn't seen in years to have lunch, have dinner and even crash at their homes. Landing in Ottawa, I was greeted by my parents and a surreality struck me: at what age does one no longer get picked up by their parents? I told my mom how I felt, explaining that it seemed like I should be arriving, renting a car and going to my hotel with plans to meet them later. Like a grownup, like a 40 year old man.

My mother's answer was simple. "Never" she said "You are never too old to stay with your parents".

I settled in at their home, a place I have know since I was a late teen. As I have moved through the two decades since, I always return, with the sense of home becoming more and more dim. It seems like a faded memory now, a place I would fondly visit but no longer my home. That sensation would return again and again as I traveled up and down the 401.

Leaving early in the morning, I borrowed one of their cars to head to Toronto. The long stretch of pavement between Ottawa and the GTA was well-worn in me, I had made this trip countless times. I was immediately struck by the beauty of the turning leaves along the road. The browns and yellows that dominate the prairies of central Alberta had dulled my eyes. Red, orange and even deep green lept out at me as I traveled. I had missed this simple beauty but I was also reminded of the clarity of the the massive sky back in the prairie, and I missed it immediately.

A quick reminder that I had once again returned to the busiest road in Canada smacked me square in the face as "Canada's Stimulus plan" forced me to a stop 5 times along the highway. The day after the Thanksgiving Holiday, construction held up traffic for over a 100 kilometers, adding nearly an hour to my trip. It would get worse when I entered Toronto proper.

Toronto traffic has always been a curse. With over six million people commuting for up to and over two hours one way every day, rush hour is nearly 24 hours. Only in the middle of the night does the traffic remain at a steady pace, the rest of the day is spastic fit of starts and stops. Cars stretch to the horizon across six lanes and while I had the misfortune of arriving during the "dinner hour", the sun set directly in front of me. Gold painted its way across the buildings and vehicles, rendering them darkened silhouettes against a sky of fire.

Eventually I made it into Oakville, some seven hours after I have left Ottawa. There was my first stop, and my first reminder of all I had left behind and lost touch with.

Blast From the Past-Adventures in Post Production

2010-06-11T10:09:00.005-05:00

Nearly 10 years ago I torpedoed a mediocre career as an director's assistant by posting info to a message about the post-production process. I see it as an interesting look back given A)the people I worked for never though to ask for an NDA B)Leaks and info hemorrhage from film productions more now than it ever has.

The original posts can be found here:
Adventures in post production Part 1
Adventures in Post Production 2
Adventures in Post Production 3a
Adventures in Post Production 3
Final Adventures in Post Production

Topic: Adventures in Post-Production Part 1.
Darvin11
Registered: Jan '01
Date Posted: 2/26/01 11:31am Subject: Adventures in Post-Production Part 1.
The story so far....

This gig began the first week of January this year. My girlfriend had actually been approached about it but does not have a driver's license so here I am. Before Christmas I spoke with the Post supervisor and co-coordinator and was the only candidate and thus began work early in the new year.

I had trepidations about meeting the director for whom I'd be working. All I had heard from the post team was that he wanted a certain kind of car of a certain kind of color. Finickiness usually does not bode well as that can translate into every aspect of the person's life and as their assistant it would directly impact me. Moving furniture, buying stuff for them; if they are finicky by nature they will not settle for anything less than what they want, even if they don't know what that is.

Thankfully this was not the case. Director Ronny Yu arrived in fine fashion and all was well. Ronny is a very nice man and though he does want what he wants, he is not overt about it. He is very good at manipulating things in a quiet way in order to get the results he wants. Very interesting. More on that another time.

Ronny is a Hong Kong director who has made such films as Bride with White Hair and others. His first L.A. film is Bride of Chucky. This film is called The 51st State and stars Samuel L. Jackson and Robert Carlyle. It was shot in London and is posting here in T.O. because the film was co-funded by Canadian and British companies.

Tech stuff: the film was shot on Super35 and is being cut on an Avid. A film cutback is happening alongside because the film is to be screened pretty soon. There is no distributor outside of Canada yet for the film and they want to make Cannes. More on this below.

The first few weeks were a feeling-out period of recognizing Ronny's needs and wants down and setting a regular schedule. During this time I met his wife, who I took shopping more than once. What could have been a horrible experience was not because she is a great person and very open.

Notable events:
I met Samuel microscopically briefly and he signed my Mace Windu action figure. Very cool.

Ronny asked for and got a $5000.00 flat screen anamorphic display for the editing suite so that the editing would feel more like a movie. I told him he could give to me as a present when we're done.

The post schedule of the film was to last until early May as the film is being conformed from the Avid edit and then a negative cut must be finished. At the same time, music and sound effects would be recorded and edited into the final mix. ADR or looping is to be done in London as most of the cast are English. For that I am useless to Ronny as I do not know London at all so it means a week off for me sometime.

Sometime now means March.

Because of the need to get the film into Cannes, the post schedule was severely truncated. Thus, Ronnie is to supervise all the sound editing on three different stages at the same time. Gee, I wonder how they'll do that.

Everyone is running around like a maniac because what was a regular post schedule just lost 2 months. We've hired 5 assistant editors just to keep up with the work. The producer, who has (roughly) known what the schedule would be since before shooting last year, now wants to rush things for Cannes.

How much money has been spent to make this film and now they want to rush it?

One word of wisdom: rushing post never makes the film better.

It stuns me that no one with the title Producer or Studio Head understand this.

That basically brings things up to speed. Saturday the director's cut is being screened and I think Sam will be there. Hope I get to say more than 2 words to him.

Expect a new post next monday.

Darvin11
Registered: Jan '01
Date Posted: 3/6/01 4:40pm Subject: Adventures in Post Production - Part 2
Greetings from the trenches.

The news to date:

Last week was hectic as everyone scrambled to have something, if not an online avid assembly, to show the producers Monday the 5th (today). It was madness. I was in the eye of the storm as none of this really impacts me or my work. Ronny continued to do things the same way he has with the same schedule. All is well, except....

Ronny was here three years ago shooting Bride of Chucky and was staying at a hotel in town. He had his hair cut at the salon in said hotel and wanted to have it cut again--by the same person.

This is a middle aged woman whose name and appearance he does not remember. Find her, he says. Phew.

Well I found her, she still works there and Ronny's haircut happened as planned. He also met Robin Williams at the time and Ronny was giddy as a school-girl. That shows you what kind of guy he is, not the jaded La-La-land type you expect but someone who finds meeting stars cool.

As the week went on, things got crazy and the first real pall fell over me on Friday.

Ronny wasn't going in to the office until the afternoon and then a technical screening of the director's cut was scheduled for 4:30pm to make sure there were no glitches for Monday.

The day before I had been summoned by the accountant to go and get two cheques in Canadian and US funds for the various per diems for Monday. As I have the vehicle rented for Ronny, I am also the unofficial unit driver which fucking sucks. But anyway,

The accountant is an anal freak and makes me turn the cheques over to the post \coordinator for the night so I can take them in to be cashed the next day, (Fri). Why? So if it goes missing I won't be blamed. That's all well and good but if I'm not cashing the cheques until fri and I'm not supposed to start until I pick Ronny up at 1:30 why the hell should I have to drive all the way into the office to get the freaking cheques whereas if I had them on me I could do it on the way to get the boss. Jesus.

The Co-ord. calls me at 11 am Fri, as I am heading out from home to deal with another errand dropped in my lap and asks me to come get the cheques so I can cash them. Long story short, if people would listen to me and let me do the job they hired me to do, my day would have been happier.

Example. Had I been allowed to go handle my original errand (resulting with a total 15 mins added to the trip) before going to pick up said cheques, it would not have resulted in a terse exchange of "when can you do this?" "It will take 40 min roundtrip" "No it won't" "Yes. It will. I was going to do it on the way here, however..."

Then the boss calls to say that the 2 hour window I had before getting him is now 45 mins and-- AND the screening is now at 3pm not 4 so the 2 hour window between getting him and taking him to the screening is now a bit over an hour.

Off I go.... and you now what. The trip I did do took exactly as long as I estimated. That, my friends, was my trip to cash the aforementioned cheques.

$5000.00 US. $3000.00 CDN. The equivalent of $10-11 000.00 dollars CDN sitting in my pocket on the way to the accountant. More money than I have ever had at a single time. In cash. Plagh.

I hussle and everything happens as it should. The screening, ah the screening.

There was 8 of us in this mixing theatre at Deluxe, watching them set up the video projector. For some reason the letterboxed beta tape of the film was not projected at its proper ratio of 2.35:1 but more like 1.85:1. The contrast was off. Ronny was unimpressed. For what Deluxe charges you'd think they'd have their shit together, wouldn't you?

Finally the movie screens. And you know what? With only a few temp effects spotted and a totally temp track it played real well. It is a fun, entertaining romp. Not great. Not art. But funny.

2 complaints. Meat Loaf is in it. He is terrible. I can't tell Ronny this, not until I no longer work for him. Meat is only in the beginning and the end of the film and it is almost, but not quite, enough to ruin it.

Emily Watson is also in it(Breaking the Waves). She is not terrible, she's just not good. Her eyes are dead, like a doll's eyes. As an actor she doesn't know why she is saying and doing the things she is.

Good things: Samuel L. and Robert Carlyle are great. Robert owns the movie while Sam is Sam. If the film does well Carlyle's career as a leading man will sky-rocket.

Like I said the movie played well with little or no dry boring parts. It moves and is entertaining. What more could you ask?

Ronny came out of it very happy and relaxed. He likes the movie and knows others will like it. I'm glad I know him, even this little bit, just because it's cool to watch someone you respect and admire have the same likes and dislikes as the rest of us. I am learning a great deal about the LA movie biz. It makes me doubt whether I really want to do this.

But only sometimes.

The weekend is a blur. On to why I am posting this late in the week.

Producers screening is monday morning 10 AM. Same place as before. WINTER strikes and snows like hell. Samuel does not make it and thus I am robbed of shaking his hand a second time. I could care less about the rest of the producers as they have little or nothing to do with the actual film at this point. The writer is a producer and a nice enough guy, but he doesn't have much to contribute right now.

The real producer is a short, high-strung Hungarian, ex of many David Cronenberg films and a story all to himself. More about him later but suffice to say, having met him twice now, I can't stand him. He seems to have little or no concern for the actual physical reality of making a film. The answer is throw money at it to make it faster.

Yeah, that works ALL the time.

The producer is now in conference with the writer and Ronny to make "his" changes to make the film more "commercial". Being a devotee of commercial films I have no idea what he is going to change but it ought to be very interesting to watch.

More on that next week.

Thanks for reading.

Darvin11
Registered: Jan '01
Date Posted: 3/22/01 8:16am Subject: Adventures in Post Production prt 3-UPDATE
Well, my frustration grows as my desire to meet Mr. Jackson again has been thwarted!

Sent to get Mr. J. barbecued duck I was well prepared to hand him his suculent fowl and chat him up but NOOOOOO!

Simultaneously, the directors wife calls to be picked up so I must fly to get the food, return to the studio, fling said food to the P.A. as I pass and go pick up the wife.

Crap. Before and after this 45 minute period I spent hours sitting around doing nothing.

Such is my life. So, epsidoe II answers go unfound.

Date Posted: 3/20/01 11:46am Subject: Adventures in Post Production prt 3
I was on hiatus for a week last week so thus no report to make. This week started on Sun. with picking up Ronny (the director) at the airport as he was in England for the week doing ADR. (Automatic Dialogue Replacement).

The weird thing is that before he left and the day after he gets back he does more ADR through an ISDN link to england. Ronny and the sound supervisor sit with a recordist watching tape here while the talent and another recordist work in England. Buh-zarre and yet another example of the workings of the film industry. As in, why did he go to England in the first place?

Beats the crap out of me.

The pisser of this job is that I was hired to be Ronny's assistant, nothing else.

As that entails me sitting around alot waiting for him to need or want something, the post-supervisors have taken it upon themselves to find work for me, including taking up the slack for other departments that are "too busy" to do things for themselves (like the bank thing in post #2).

I feel like the town whore the way I am being passed around.

This was not the job I was hired to do and I am getting sick of it. MY time here might be growing short, dear friends.

Emily Mortimer (not Watson as reported earlier) is doing ADR as I type and Sam Jackson is back in town tommorrow. As I have lunch detail I should be able to meet him again and share more than a syllable with him. Emily is super nice and hot too.

That is all for now.

End Transmission

Darvin11
Registered: Jan '01
Date Posted: 3/29/01 11:25am Subject: THE FINAL Adventures In Post-Production
Hi Guys,

Well, I got fired today, or more correctly, "asked to leave", for posting my irregular missives about the vagaries of the film industry and the lowly trials and tribulations of an assistant.

Hoist upon my own petard as it were.

While it is a shame, this experience has taught me some important things--

--when working 10- 12 hour days, but actually only doing stuff for 4 hours, message boards are a horrible lure.

--cover your tracks better

--trust no one, even with people who you believe burgeoning friendships may be forming.

MOST IMPORTANTLY--

--I do not want to be a part of this cold, greedy, egotistical and infinitely parnoid industry.

The manipulations and machinations within even the "small fish in a small pond" aspects of the canadian film industry are at once sad and yet laughable. There is a reason why it is such a inclusive and mysterious industry. I have said it before I am sure and I will say it again, there is no glamour in the movies.

The thing is, though, there is the occasional nice person who doesn't believe they are changing the world with the work and realizes its just grownups playing make believe with obscene amounts of money.

Perspective is everything, my friends, remember that if you are all rich and famous one day. Remember that what we do is not who we are.

Onwards and forwards though, and I will be attending the april movie night, so look for me, buy me a drink and we can chat about--

--stuff.

I very much enjoyed my time with Mr. Yu and his wife, as well as the editor, Mr. Wu. They are good people and, while I am sure Mr. Yu will never again want to hear or read my name, he is a talented man who should be allowed to make the movies he wants to make.

If only because he is good at it.

When the movie is released I do encourage you all to see it, as I will, if only because it is very entertaining.

Below is a an unfinished post that was the smoking gun in fact.

>Robin,
>
>You need to not do this. It is quite >unprofessional and if anyone knew that you >were talking about the movie in such a >manner [edited] you’d be out of here. >Especially mentioning the[edited]which >nobody needs to know about
>and you’re not even supposed to know about. >This conduct is un-befitting of a member of >a film’s crew. When hired on, there is >assumed that you will maintain a certain >amount of integrity where the film and its >progress is concerned.

>Follow my advice. Don’t say anything else.

In my defense I offer only this, I was told about the [edited] by a fellow office mate first, and by the 2nd Unit Director later. So much for something I wasn't supposed to know about and never shared, even to this hard-to-find-used-by-the-same-few-people-message-board. What information I might have had was limited at best.

Good thing I never contacted Aint-It-Cool-News where more than 50 people might read it, huh?

Oh well. These are the lessons we learn.

I hope you have enjoyed this small look into the Canadian film industry, kids.

I know I did.

At the Edge of Mediorce: Twilight

2009-12-10T23:51:00.002-05:00

At my teen step-daughter's behest I finally waded deep into the morass of Twilight. Having seen just enough of the film to fully embrace mocking it, she felt I was doing the material a disservice by not reading the book and thus I have read the book.

Strangely enough, the bat-shit insane synopsis I also read of the fourth book makes me want read it more than the material itself.

Author Stephanie Meyers quickly catches the voice of a petulant teen, as heroine Bella moves to north-western U.S. to enable to her mother to tour with a new beau. Martyring herself early allows Bella to morosely meander her way through her new school in a tiny town. Her father, the town sheriff is kind, in a bland, cardboard, set-dressing way. Once ensconced in a cocoon of teenage self-pity, Bella stumbles across a dashing enigmatic classmate, Edward, who immediately catches her eye, though he rebuffs her.

Tangled, tortured romance ensues for a short time but slides into a glorious perfection. It is in fact, so perfect, that a literal deus ex machina walks out of the woods to force conflict into the idyllic relationship.

Twilight is a near perfect tween romance, exploring a chaste yet passionate first love, the oxy-moronic bad boy who poses no threat to the girl. Competently plotted and written, it captures the inner monologue of the stereotypical teen without venturing into revealing depth or purpose. Shallow and meandering, it pales in comparison to other works in the pre-teen/teen fantasy genre, especially when compared to the sparse but lyrical prose of a J.K Rowling.

I had hoped that by reading Twilight I would be given insight into the mind of teenage girl, instead of I was given insight into the manufacture of a book attractive to the mind of a teenage girl.

2012 : Much Ado About Nothing

2009-11-18T17:11:00.001-05:00

Every form of entertainment has a moment where it asks of its audience
"this is the point where you either buy and for for the ride, or opt out".
2012 is a nearly endless parade of these moments, bombarding the viewer
with an escalating series of ridiculous images, until one either relents
or shuts down completely.
Using the formula of the Day After Tommorrow, director Roland Emmerich,
takes nuggets of theoretical science, mixes in some techno-babble, and
compresses the timeline by decades, resulting in a lightning quick end of
the world scenario. The titular 2012 is the date in the Mayan calender,
the Macguffin of the film, that is thought to represent the apocalypse. As
the sun begins flaring at a magnitude never before recorded, it changes
the mass of previously massless particles called neutrinos (this is the
techno-babble). The change causes widespread electro-magnetic disruption
of the world's surface, leading to eventual calamity.
A cabal of the world's most powerful leaders (initially informed at the
2010 G8 summit) conspire to hide soon-to-be-end, in order to preserve the
culture and art of humanity. Simultaneously, they work with CHina to
create a fleet of massive reinforced ships (called Arks,naturally) that
will withstand the coming storms. Geological events grow more powerful and
it becomes clear that the end will happen sooner than expected, throwing a
handful of people into a race for survival.
Propelled by relentless momentum, 2012 efficiently,if non-sensically, sets
up the plot in the first 30 minutes of the film. From that point forward,
the movie is essentially one epic set-piece after another, begining with
the destruction of California.
I have not mentioned the cast of the film nor will I, as the film itself
renders them moot. A series of cyphers that are never truly in jeopardy,
they exist only to justify the impossible images that roll across the
screen. The thrills of the film emminate from the images themselves, and
the clinical lack of attachment shown to humanity at large. Unimaginable
number of people are killed in the mounting catastrophes, and the cast,
though pointless, is large enough that members are elimated simply because
there is nothing left for them to do. Two characters joined by co-
incidence witness a massive Tsunami despite being seperated by a
continent. A character lives long enough to rescue her dog, another
rescues his cardboard cutout kids. In the end, the people of the story
simply don't matter, as the story is literally bigger than them.
Visually the film is stunning. An enormous FX budget is clearly displayed,
as eye candy tears up the screen every 20 minutes. From massive shales of
Los Anglelos coasts lifting into the air and sinking into the sea, to the
caldera of the Yellowstone national park becoming active in a biblical
manner, the effects work is unparalleled in its realism.
Though the story is obstensibly about the end of the human race and the world as we know, the scale is so massive and the stakes so low, it never rises above cheap thrills. The human face of 2012 is wooden and impassive, and fails to engage. There is no sense of loss amid the cacophony of destruction and thus no impact.

District 9

2009-09-08T15:42:00.000-05:00

District 9 is a fiercely original take on a familiar story; a bumbling bureaucrat who has lost touch with his basic human decency is forced to re-examine his priorities when thrust into a situation out of his control.

Set in South Africa, Sharlto Copley plays Wikus Van De Merwe, a mid-level manager for the local branch of the MNU, the world’s second largest weapons manufacturer. Framed in a documentary style narrative, the film reveals that twenty years prior a massive alien vessel came to rest over Johannesburg, seemingly inoperative. Humanity makes first contact by breaching the vessel only to find a million insect-like drones, nicknamed “prawns”, starving in the cavernous interior. The aliens are ferried to the ground and setup in a fenced off refugee area, which degenerates over decades to a shanty town and slum. The aliens have little or no initiative or direction and are left to struggle for survival in the shanty town as humanity’s baser natures come to the fore.

The MNU use the Alien for research and experimentation, attempting to find a way to use the genetically coded weapons in human hands, thus opening a new era of arms race. During a bureaucratic and political effort to evict the Aliens from the shanty town and into a self-described concentration camp, Wikus displays his absolute lack of empathy for the “prawns”, going so far as to demonstrate for the cameras how the population is “controlled”. A shack full of eggs is casually set ablaze and Wikus describes the explosive ruptures of the egg-sacs boiling as sounding like “popcorn”.

Bumbling and oblivious to the danger that surrounds him, he infects himself accidentally with a solution that serves a dual purpose: fuel to allow contact with the dormant mother ship above, and a transgenetic mutation, combining prawn and human DNA.

In a rapid fire 30 minute opening sequence, the film introduces all of the players, sets the stakes and sends the intentionally unlikeable main character on his road to self-discovery. It is elegant, frenetic narrative that propels the viewer into the story and leaves them gasping for breath.

The relentless pace of the film is supported by a powerful performance of Sharlto Copley, an unknown who brings a stumblingly humanity to his character. Initially desperate to stop the transformation within and thereby return to his ordinary life, Wikus is shoved violently towards a greater humanity. Faced with becoming a living weapon, he explodes into a panicked escape, bent on self-preservation. Only by hiding in District 9 is he able to shake the immediate pursuit of his tormentor, and therein he finds answers in an alien named Christopher Johnson. Finding they have mutual purposes, they join forces to retrieve the fluid which can allow the aliens to leave and also provide Wikus with a cure. The CG character work on Johnson is spectacular. A performance of body language and subtitled clicks, the moments as personal as the mourning of a lost friend, to the overwhelming stillness of unimaginable grief for a species, demonstrate a depth of character many human actors lack.

Wearing its influences proudly, District 9 references a host of films, such as Robocop, The Fly, and Alien Nation, though it never panders nor pays “homage” by directly lifting from those films. Rather it infers, as it tells its own story, weaving in multiple social-political subtexts into the narrative. Real world issues such as abortion, genocide, social strata, corporate homogeny, as well at the current flow of refugees (unwanted) into South Africa add to the verisimilitude of the film, rooting it in an immediately believable universe.

Shot in high-definition digital on RED cameras, the film has a clarity when projected digitally that is startling. Not prone to any of the strobing or artifacting that has plagued earlier digital cameras, a variety of lighting and movement styles are used to great effect. The aforementioned documentary framing device is shot on the shoulder or on sticks to great effect, measuring the typical talking heads interview style. Later in the film, traditional film technique consisting of both deep focus and long lens shots pepper the visuals and the native digital format allows for seamless integration of CG effects and character work.

Left open for a sequel, District 9 overcomes it pedantic script and sometimes hackneyed dialogue through sheer propulsive narrative, subtle subtext and powerful performance. Made for pocket change next to the blockbuster movies of the summer, District 9 parlays the true power of emergent cinema, in telling a small story writ large.

Conceding defeat: A puzzle tragedy

2009-09-06T20:07:00.003-05:00

As mentioned earlier I have been suffering mental trauma, self-imposed, trying to decrypt the alpha puzzle found here.

Tyler Wilde, editor at Gamesradar, solved the puzzle and kindly threw a bone my way for my earlier post about my travails. Both Dan and Tyler have since tried to urge me in the right direction but I have come full circle into total bewilderment.

Dan offered the same direction he had given Tyler, a single word that could describe much. It led me to decryption,artificial intelligence and the creation of CAPTCHA's. It allowed me to find code-breaking software that might break the encryption if I let it run for a few hours. I rode that pony hard in a million directions,traveling down dozens of wrong alleys. I came up empty.

I suspect the answer, once revealed, will the kind of thing I will want to beat myself with a stick for not getting.

Therefore, I concede defeat and look forward to the answer eventually being made public on Dan's blog as I limp slowly into the night, licking my mental wounds.

The Mind of Madness

2009-08-26T11:42:00.007-05:00

Dan Amrich, formerly editor for Official Xbobx Magazine and now EIC of World Of Warcraft Magazine, is a man of many talents. Co-host of the OXM podcast with Ryan Mcaffery, Dan presents himself as nothing less than a passionate, articulate advocate for gaming, print and the art of writing.

He is also a madman.

On his blog, www.bunnyears.net, Dan presents a variety of unique events and projects both past and present, including his parody band Palette-Swap Ninja, his Ghostbusters fixation, and his love of pinball. Perhaps most importantly Dan also outlines an extensive exploration of “The Masquerade”, an epic puzzle hunt for a golden hare that took place in the early ’80. Here, then, is where we find the first glints of madness.
Dan’s fascination with puzzles has lead to several of his own creation appearing online and in print, most notably in the Sept 2009 issue of Maximum PC. On his blog, http://bunnyears.net/dan/?page_id=2, Dan has fashioned his most insidious creation yet, and therein lays the crazy.

I am documenting my attempts to solve this puzzle in order to have something to give my kids when they ask “why did daddy go to the mental asylum?” It’s either that hard, or that fiendishly simple.

You can see the original puzzle on the blog, but below is an outline of my process to try and solve it and all the missteps along the way.

• The first sentence of the blog is a series of clues, most importantly referencing “Initially” “enigmatic” and “cryptic”. I take these as references to Dan’s initials, perhaps as a key, and a reference to the historical “Enigma machine” used in WWII by the Germans to encrypt message. Does “cryptic” refer to the recent invention of Dan Brown’s in The Da Vinci Code, the “cryptex”, a cylindrical puzzle using a letter key found from solving riddles?

• Taking the enigma machine as a starting point, I researched the workings of a machine, including downloading several simulators. This created several problems. To solve an enigma code you need more than a key. Given it was a mechanical device using cylinders known as rotors and a reflector (numbered 1-5 or 1-7 using roman numerals) as well as a 1-to-1 plug-in patch that allows for the transposition of letters (a=z, z=a), the complexity has gone way up. To date I have found nothing on the site that would lead me to the correct rotor orientation, or plug setup, I think I have gone too far in the wrong direction.

• After advising Dan I have done way too much research trying to find a key, he updates his blog with information that should provides clue.

• Researching ciphers, I begin applying a variety of letter transposition ciphers, such as the Caesar cipher, moving my way through ciphers that require mathematical formulae in order to decrypt the letters. Again I think I am getting way too complicated.

• I try going in the diametrically opposed direction into simplicity by doing a word and letter count, resulting in the following image.
• I try mathematical variations on Dan’s date of birth against the numerical order of the alphabet, in case that too may be a clue. Blood has started to seep from my ears and nose.

To Be Continued?

Return To Form

2009-08-25T18:39:00.001-05:00

I have split off my ranting blog (ragingcanuck) from my gaming blog (game-a-day-ish) because it was getting too muddled. Hopefully this works better and allows me to get back into blogging.

For a laugh, check out whyicantpark as well, its my log of parking denials.

The government we deserve

2008-11-28T10:00:00.000-05:00

With the abysmal turnout of the last election its clear Canadians are apathetic towards their leadership. Maintain the status quo and don't inconvenience me are our mantra when it comes to politics, and now we are paying the price.

Displaying their singular ability to be a fairweather government, the Harper Conservatives, barely six weeks after telling the voting public that the economy is fine and that a vote for anyone else would result in a recession, has announced we are now in a recession.

Wow who could have seen that coming? The national economic downturn a been in play for MONTHS with the credit crisis in the US simply acting as a catalyst to speed things along. Unlike other national governments in the western world, our government has applied the time-honored "head in the sand" or "nana nana boo boo" approach to economic stimulus.

Jobs being lost? Consumer confidence at an all time low? Finace Minister's answer is to cut public funding to political parties which will save all of maybe $50 million a year. Given it would take SIX (6!) years of funding to cover the expense of the single recent election, drop in a ocean sized bucket seems to a apply. His other genius mandate? Prohibit the right to strike for Federal workers until 2011. Anyone else smell a contract renegotiation coming up?

This government has proven themselves to be small-minded, petty, and opportunistic at a time when our neighbours to the south find themselves at the apex of a paradigm change so complete as to change the very fabric of their national identity.

Canada could only be so lucky as to have a leader, not a politician at her helm.

Election night 2008

2008-10-14T21:45:00.002-05:00

What a waste of time and money-Harper and the conservatives should be ashamed-Liberals should kick Dion out the door ASAP and get someone worthwhile in there, then bring the pain to these minority pantywaists

Also ashamed of Oakville and Whitby-Oshawa for voting Conservative-kiss your jobs goodbye and you only have yourself to blame.

Debates are for whiners

2008-10-02T09:49:00.000-05:00

I mean, as a villain, I tend to monologue a fair bit, (usually in front of a camera and a mike, I do lead the country myhah haha hahahahahahahahahaa )
The French debates always chafe my chaps, ‘cause the only place in the country that speaks French is Quebec little bastards. If it weren’t for their Cultural Shield Emitter I would have flattened the whole place year ago and now have an army of francois zombies at my beck and call.
Hmmm, mental note, zombies are good idea, work on that, outside of the Conservative party.
Inneffectual Man and Lady Change keep slamming me on the economy and the environment. Fortunately all I have to do to terrify the senile electorate in this country is repeat “recession recession recession” over and over. Of course, this depends on the “Economic Fundamentals Machine” continuing to transmit q waves across the country, convincing everyone they still have a job and good credit.
Bad part is that I bought it as a prototype of the production model The Bush has been using for years down south and his has already worn out. I figure this one might last until next summer and then whoo boy people are going to hate me! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA
As long as the charge in the ultra sonic blinder stays fresh I should be able to stay the course, and continue to drive the country into the ground
Life is good