The Voices

* Exhausted vs Responsibility *

2011-10-24T14:55:00.000+08:00

Exhausted
That seems not a good life in surface thought
Subsurfacely, it held every reason to ponder
Which in conclusion, it’s all about responsibility.

Born to be a caliph
It’s a promise as an Islamic Ummah
A caliph is expected to live with responsibility
That gains a complete satisfaction once it gets done.

Responsibility could be realized when you paused awhile from what you’re doing
Once at a time, one-by-one
Through experience appears by times
But only if you think and keep on thinking as if you’re a thinker of a down-to-earth man.

The more you grow, the more responsibility you hold
Hence the more the exhaustion
But if you know the significance of exhaustion and responsibility,
It’ll be…
The more you’ll appreciate the exhaustion as…
The more responsibility should explain a more responsible caliph.

"You" on our Cotton Anniversary

2011-02-10T12:46:00.001+08:00

Hello my dear,
No matter how I fear,
I always know you’re here,
So I won’t feel so weird.

You...
You’re my always strength,
For me to straightly stand,
On the world so grand,
Like you hold my hand...

Oh you!
You have my heart,
And I love it hard,
To keep it bright,
As always never apart!

[a simple poem i can sing for him :)]

Refresh~

2011-02-07T16:49:00.002+08:00

When I was a small baby,
I never know how I was...
Until now I saw my own baby,
And see my own nephew,
Then I knew how I smiled and cried,
Made the world smiled with me.

When I was a little toddler,
I never know how I behaved...
Until now I see my nieces,
Then I knew how I was taught to be good,
Made the world smiled at me.

When I was a grown child,
It's not all that I remember...
Until now I see the growing children,
Then I refreshed with all the happiness,
An everyday gifts from the only couple.
Made them smile with satisfaction.

When I was a teenager,
It's even more that I could remember,
But it's not that all I could imagine those time,
Until now I see my teenage niece,
An intermediate status between a child and an adult,
Made the world cautions with patience.

When I was a new adult,
The early 20s was more than to only remember,
Until I now I see my blogposts,
Refreshing the times of smiles and cries,
Just like the basis of life,
From the born till the death,
Until the dot comes to an end of life chapters.

Appreciations

2011-01-12T18:36:00.000+08:00

Take a break for a short quiescent
Under a bright day or a dark night
To see the white-cottony clouds or the shining stars
To feel the air breezing through the skin
For a sensation of natural touch
As a moment of life appreciation
Still living in the world of no harm
For a lovely life of somebody's arm.

I am neither wealthy nor deprived
Just in the mid to stay calm despite normal trial
Visioning to step further in contentment
With the blessed efforts for a better life
With appreciations of current life
With prays for future life
This is an appreciation of the God’s creations
Thank you Allah
For all the greatness in the world
I accepted everything for knowing it's a destiny
I thanked everything for knowing it's the best of everything
Alhamdulillah...

The voice of the victim

2011-01-12T12:05:00.000+08:00

Hi...
I am a small innocent kid
Who owned by the almighty God
For my parents who live to love me
To raise and to see me grow
Well apparently I have long more years to go
To see the beautiful world
To befriend the kind people
And to grab my dreams; a good kid, a good parent, and... a professor!

Then...
Since you came to kill me
I didn’t know what your intention was at first
But I know who you are
I know how you looked like
I know how uncouth you are
I know how lie you are
It’s only that I didn’t have more time left
To tell my parents who you are
How I was to be the victim
How I was killed...

Hey...
I can see you now from my beautiful room in the heaven
With my new friends, but not with my parents
The people on the earth are searching for you
Fighting the rights of my murdered case
They are miserable and yet never stopped to discover you
It’s just that they haven’t got you
But hey...
The almighty God is watching you
Knows what are you doing and thinking
And later you’ll be sentenced
Worthy for the harshest punishment

For my parents and all who loves me
I love you so much!
Thank you for the prays and gifts of al-Fatihah
The real world is here
I love my world in the heaven now
And will never miss to miss my loved ones...

The Tears~

2010-06-30T22:32:00.000+08:00

Oh God, the receptors activate again!
Look, the lacrimal gland stimulates tears!
And now the tears film cannot resist the psychic liquid anymore!
It drops down the cheek with a reddening face and a sobbing sound.
And more often than not, convoy with a convulsive breath that hits the surround.

Oh tears, be it a good lacrimation for a couple of good eyes,
I wonder why it is always for the sake of strong emotional stress,
Triggered by a dramatic episode that puts me under a severe strain,
Cutting me off from the outside world which left only the inside pain.
Come on, I need a brake of such a good emotional paint.

But anyways,
Thanks God, at least the tears come with some proteins,
The leucine enkephalin that kills the pain away,
Bring me into release of a beautiful life.

Roti Jagung (Cream Corn Bun)

2010-05-25T17:51:00.000+08:00

It’s just a cream corn bun; it sounds zilch
Soft grown yeast with sweetie creamy corny fill
A value of some cents which some may eat without feel
But for me, it gave thousands means.

Oh cream corn bun...
I picked you from shelf after a few rounds hunt
You just remind me of your youth gentle fan
Who is my beloved husband, Azlan.

Well, cream corn bun...
I valued your great taste and now I am your fan.

The LOVES towards mothers! Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-18T15:19:00.002+08:00

The world knows what a mother’s love means
The hearted children know what the value is
Nothing compared to a mother’s love bliss
It’s a magical love nobody could pay fees.

Conversely, do mothers know we love them?
No matter who we are today, the great loves are still hers
We sincerely appreciate the whole lot from mothers
All done were their loves towards us
Thus we don’t count how much loves they spend for us
Because we knew infinity is the counter.

Dear mothers,
If we may lend you our lives for a while,
You may know our true hearts and souls,
They tell you our true loves towards you...
If we may choose to die before you,
You may know our true tiny sacrifices,
They tell you our appreciation towards you...
Unfortunately, the world is not ours to simply choose.
Thus at times our loves may be hiding beyond our serene life with you,
Which then you may sometimes quest our loves on you.

Well mothers,
We always love you no matter what you are.
Happy Mother's Day...

A copied-pasted post from Hajar's blog (_)

2010-05-13T14:15:00.001+08:00

I just noticed this post(below)at Hajar's blog! OMG it has been more than a year, Jar! Thank you for such a sweet story. Amazed your tears & I really appreciate that. You & I know the love story, and I'm sure we're deeply appreciate what LOVE is :)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Perkahwinan Raihan & Alan

raihan & alan...

percintaan mereka start masa ktorang sem 4 kot di UPM...Lan adalah junior kami masa di UPM..same course ngan ktorang..ntah camne ekk, dorang leh bercinta..tp, mula2 mmg close la..ktorang bertiga selalu g lepak kat putrajaya, mkn kat food court persint 8 tue..pastu, balik mkn lepak lak kat jambatan putrajaya tue..aku ni sbnarnyer sbgai member tuk 'cover line' dorang jek..tp, aku tak kisah..layan jeks..pernah gak, tetiba jek raihan ajak g genting..ktorang pon g la dengan excitednya..raihan,lan,aku, aini n yana kecik..best la bila teringat that moments..

raihan n lan gak, pernah teman aku g hantar present tuk abg aku kat mantin masa tue..sanggup tu mereka ni nak hantar...padahal dah mlm buta masa tue..sgt sporting dorang ni..
aku ingat lagi, aku penah berkomplot ngan lan nak suprisekan raihan..masa tue, tgh cuti sem..aku ngan raihan kat BP la..lan nak dtg bp masa tue tp nak suprisekan raihan...
plannyer..pada hr tu, aku ajak raihan breakfast sesama kat Project jalan Kluang..aku dah bgtau lan yg ktorang akan breakfast kat situ kol 8pg..lan gerak dr KL kol 4pg kot..then, tgh ktorang breakfast tu, lan pon smpai..raihan tersgtla suprise dgn kehadiran lan masa tue..tersengih2..suka ar dia, kekasihnya dtg...aku pon hepi tgk dorang..then, ktorang g tjg agas,muar..lepak2 kat sana kejap..kejap jek..sbb mak ryan dah call tanyer katne..mmg pecut terus raihan balik pastue...
bykla kenangan2 manis..suka duka mereka bersama...penuh dgn drama dan air mata..ermm..bukan senang tau..berkat kesabaran dorang, akhirnya mereka di ijabkabulkan...alhamdulillah..tu pasal la aku menangis waktu dorang nikah hr tu Nad!
those are the happy moments...

kami semua mendoakan kebahagiaan...

Pn. Raihan Bte Ramli & En. Azlan Shah Bin Aziz

The Time Manager and its Time

2010-05-11T13:26:00.000+08:00

As time flies faster than the chirping Hirundapus caudacutus,
The planned things go out of the bounders,
No laps to keep them tight, no fingers to grab them taut,
It flies away without reversing to the Time Manager,
Who isn’t capable enough to deal with time proficiently…

“Bye-bye”, said the Time
The Time Manager would just gaze blankly,
Feeling guilty of the things undone,
Hoping to get some more precious time,
To cover all the messy stuff wiring head and mind…

Now… the Time Manager asked, “Where are you, Time?”
The Time happily replied, “I’m here! Why are you calling me?”
“I need you, my dear!” begged the Time Manager.
“Well, a Time is always a Time. I cannot turn my way back to you, dear. Once gone, it’s gone. The God is giving you another precious Time, for you to optimally use” the Time said.
The Time Manager then pulls out her another sheet of recycled paper,
To re-write the list of things unsettled… again… a new day with a new Time begins…

*Note:
“Hirundapus caudacutus” : http://www.thetravelalmanac.com/lists/birds-speed.htm

CoLoUrS...

2010-04-22T14:08:00.001+08:00

“Colours are beautiful”; the 1st impression of blunt words

“Colours are instances of soul”; the 1st expression of genuine life

I feel like portraying my colourful soul on a piece of canvas
From the soul to the brain, then to the hand that brush away the colours on
The oil and acrylic paints, for which ever I choose, will result to the same portray of one
That is, when I say colours, sure it’s not the only shining colours mirroring the happiness
It’s more than that! From the black instance of evil, to the grey instance of dull.
But anyway the combination yet not blend of those positive and negative colours’ characters just made it perfect natural.
Hence I said it is in fact beautiful; interprets my beautiful life

Childhood & Other funny memories

2010-02-05T18:43:00.000+08:00

Have u ever sat there and wished you were a little kid again? Well, pretty much not for me as I love and thank God to bless me with such a beautiful life with smiles and cries I have gone and am going through. The happiness and sadness I have and shall experience will reward me to a greater and mature thinking. The past has gone and now it is the moment to move forward with a little pleasure of looking backward.Whatever it is, here are some of my brief childhoods memories that made me smile close to the heart.

1. When I was a little tot
I was a graceful kid who loved to play “kitchen apparatus” and “babies feeding” toys. Why? Because my dad who is a well-known of his strictness did not allow me to play with sand or soil or any others that he thought might dirt me out!

2. When I was in the primary school
It was the time to play & play! My play timetable:
• Morning: “Tenteng” with Rhod.
• “Rehat”: “Police entry, 1 to jaga, police mati pencuri jaga” with classmates of “Kuning”Noon.
• (While waiting for transport to pick me up): “Main choup tiang” with Rhod & classmates.
• *plus: (in Std. 3 during “Kelas Agama”: “Main sembunyi2”. Will not be back to class until the “Ustazah” call us back).
Also remember, I missed to join the Std 6 trip to … (I can’t remember the place) because my mom who is well-known of her protectiveness did not allow me to go for any school trip.

3. When I was in the secondary school?
Still, it was the play & play time! I think I became more playful when I reached Form 4 even though I was a prefect by that year. What were the “playful” memories?
• F1/F2: Nothing much, except for “meniru” during examination. It was just “sometimes”
• F4: I was caught by “Cikgu Bertugas” to stay in the class, not joining the assembly in the hall. For a prefect to skip assembly was impossible, but that was what I did. The reason was because: The team inc. me was completing the task given by the late Mr. Sia on something related to Environmental Sketch Book competition. What an excuse! One more unforgettable memories: My “gang” & I joint “Pameran Rekacipta” which supposed to be an “invention” (konon), but we end up innovated a so called “mobile periscope” covered with a cartoon wrapping paper. Anyhow the funny part here was about Ned who vomited when she woke up. The reason was: “tahan…*tuuuut*”
• F5: Some of my classmates , my “gang”, & I were punished by “Cikgu Disiplin” for being late to class once “masa rehat” has over. Well, we thought there will be no teacher replaced on that day, so we didn’t care what’s going on in the class. However, since I was a prefect who was holding a “buku laporan pengawas” by that time, I was free from punishment. What a “bohong sunat”! Lots more funny memories lah!

4. When I was in the foundation program: Also kind of a “play & play time”

5. When I was in undergraduate school?
Also “play & play”. I remembered telling my friend about my boredom of being studied for exams that would be held few days after. Then we ended up spent a day & a night at Port Dickson, departed a minute just before the main gate closed (11.59pm) & arrived there searching for hotel at 2.00 am. Hajar was one of the members! One more: A trip to Genting Highland with not much cash in hand. My hubby, myself & 2 other friends (Hajar, you are 1 of them) were gladly travelled without thinking of how to pay the entrance charges + fuel. We ended up “tong-tong” for the RM30 fuel for my RX (just because the tank was empty by the time we reached the top) & entrance charges.

6. When I was in the graduate school? It was not anymore “play & play time”. Hardcore study! *But, never missed the “play” part. Remember most: My friend & I went for “sahur” at Mamak Restaurant, wearing pajamas. It was about to 5.25am, nearly “imsak”, but we kept eating the delicious mee goreng mamak until the waiter said, “Adik, ini masa sudah mau abis” (while pointing the clock on the wall). However, we just replied, “Errr… kitorang punya jam blum masuk waktu lagi”. Whatta!

7. When I was in marriage proposal
I have many male boys befriended with, but not to have relationship except with my hubby. No flirting, no “gedik”, no nothing at all, except for the whole sincere love towards him, my hubby.We set our vision & proceed our mission until today & future.Amin...

"First Love" questions (questions adopted from Hajar's blog) :)

2010-02-04T10:40:00.002+08:00

1. First time jumpa with your hubby bila and kat mana?

At K6, UPM. We (Pjan, my hubby, & I) went out to one of the hi-architecture bridges in Putrajaya, about 6-7 years ago. However, my hubby said, he met me first than I met him; that was when I arrived late to Inorganic Chemistry 3 class.

2. Love at first sight?

It’s quite hard to think when, but when I asked my hubby, he said it was when we met at Aini’s hometown (Kuantan, Pahang). How we got there? Haha… (Ask me more personally)

3. Who is he the first time u met him?

He was my 1st degree causemate (Petroleum Chemistry) & one of my classmates for Inorganic Chemistry 3.

4. How long it takes for him to ask u out for a date?

We befriended “normally” for few months to a year, I think. It became “special” after a semester break where then we started our dates.

5. First place dating di?

Again, at the same Putajaya bridge when we 1st met.

6. How he proposed?

Proposed to be a special GF: 3 times via SMS
Proposed to be a wife: it happened naturally with God’s blessings, thus this is indescribable

7. Special date with your hubby?

The most special date is the day of our Ijab & Qabul.

8. Changes that he asked you to do?

Couples of months before our marriage, we did have an exchange of our frank heartfelt & wishes we would like share once being a family of 2, but what are they… (Ask me more personally)

9. What is about him that you love so much?

Patience, loyalty, and thrust towards me who loves him so much.

10. What is about him that u wish he would change?

Quit "XYZ" of course, though it’s not something that I hate...(i have to do this amendment, because there are small kids! shh...hahahaha)

11. You will lose your mind and crack your head when he?

Betray

12. You will smile through your eyes for the whole day when he?

“When he smiles, I’m happy; when he is sad, I cry”

13. Complete this sentence: My love towards my hubby is as big as...

My Love towards him cannot be compared to anything. It is so big that I cannot describe any! I love you, my husband.

p/s: Those questions were adopted from Hajar's interesting blog. I like that beautiful post, so I want to try mine. Hehe...

Patience~

2010-02-03T17:29:00.000+08:00

Patience is a power of suffering with fortitude. A pleasure is not enjoyable without pain, thus patience is needed in our interim life. To make life perfect, it is not humanity. Life is to accept the moment, neither the past nor the future. Then, with the current stand, think forward.

Yes, that is the brief statement of patience, which is commonly used to console a failed person. So that is the answer of “What should the person do?” Yes, everybody knows that. So what lacks now? It is the “How”! “How should the person goes through it?” Well, the answer lies on the person itself. Nobody is going to take care of it; she herself dealing with it, patching back the broken pieces into one special treat.

I am just a 27 years old lady, comes from a great happy family and sharing lives with a great lovely husband. However, the story I have listened to, the scene I have seen, and the most; the experience I have gone through, are the points I am collecting from, to develop the “patience” I need in my proceeding life.

It is not that easy to deal with this when it comes to your life. If you are facing such a pretty tough torment, you may need a powerful strength to keep you standing. How strong is your strength now? Well that cannot be measured I think, as it is due to the intolerable timing of when does the pain suspend you. Anyhow, whatever it is, you have to be ready. How it can be done? Some of them are:

• Let the sincere tears out as much as you can
• “Istighfar” as much as you can
• Talk to your spouse and/or family and/or friends about it
• Be a good listener of advices from others
• Pray as complete as you can
• Read Quran as far as you can
• Have fun with spouse, family and friends
• Write anything as long as you love to write
• Read more motivational articles
• Have a good rest whenever time limits you for that
• “Tawakkal” and believe God is the almighty

Finally, life is about accepting the present moment. Therefore, patience is the biggest lesson for a person. It is the key of enlightenment because if you do have pain and ensure you practice the patience, you will be rewarded beyond measure. Remember, the good things in life take time...

Wassalam.

Pertemuanku dengan si dia, suamiku~

2010-01-07T12:22:00.003+08:00

Tatkala tenangnya hati bila bibir melafaz zikir,
Tatkala tenteramnya jiwa bila mata menghadap baitullah,
Mengorak aku menunduk diri,
Mengangkat tapak tangan dr lepak di bumi,
Membiar mulut berbicara hati,
Di bibir lembap dibasahi zamzam.
Berdoa kudipertemu jodoh yg benar,
Yang hanya dialah suami lagi kekasih.
Maka kupohon biarlah ia dipermakbul.

Siapa yg tahu itu tak terduga,
Sepurnama setelah itu kubertemu dengannya,
Dari kenalan, hati mengusik jiwa,
Terus berputik mekar bersama,
Sentiasa senyum walau kadang termuram manja,
Berkat keikhlasan bercinta setia.

Namun, bagaikan adat orang melayu,
Tidak senang melihat bahagianya org lain,
Ada saja iri hati lalu berdengki.
Cuba memisahkan ikatanku yg semakin kuat.
Pelbagai cara dicuba mencabar sabar,
Sampai tak sedar air mata mentakhta diri.

Namun, melatah bukan sifatku;
Aku masih berfikir waras,
Semuanya kerana Tuhan masih ada.
Makanya aku & dia tetap memegang teguh pertalian itu,
Sehinggalah tiba masanya Ijab & Qabul,
Menyatu diri membina masjid,
Membentuk kebahagiaan yg lebih beerti.

Kini cintaku & dia semakin tegar & kuat.
Tak getar dek hasut, tak rapuh dek dengki,
Kerana Tuhan maha besar,
Tiada siapa yg dpt menandingi kuasaNya.

Apa yg kupinta, biarlah cintaku ini tegar & kekal hingga dibawa ke syurga,
Senang bahagia hidup disinari cahaya rahmatNya.
InsyaAllah, Allah maha besar.

Rindu lagi :(

2010-01-07T12:15:00.002+08:00

Tersadai di atas kerusi,
Aku lepak seorang diri,
Terkedap indah di dalam sunyi,
Tapi di luar bermacam bunyi...

Ada burung berkicauan,
Ada motokar berderuan,
Ada manusia berjalan,
Walhasil, ada kemeriahan...

Lalu kurenung di sebalik diriku,
Apakah yg membelenggu fikiranku,
Tanpa meriah aku terpaku,
Dek jiwa resah gelisah tak siapa yg tahu...

Aku kupas dan kupas perasaanku,
Mencari jawapan bg setiap perbicaraan hatiku,
Hingga akhirnya diriku tahu,
Rupanya jiwa resah kerana merindui suamiku.

Coretan Pagi

2009-12-23T10:30:00.002+08:00

"Selamat pagi, sayang"
Kuberbisik di dalam hati,
tapi tak terungkap dek mata yang masih melayang.
Hanya tubuhnya yang kudakap tanda pagi sudah meniti.

Persiapannya kunanti agar dia menjadi lengkap,
dari hujung rambut hingga ke hujung kaki,
lalu makan minumnya kusaksi atau kukongsi agar biarla selera bertambah seri.

Langkahnya demi kerja kususuli,
Namun bila di pintu kuterhenti,
Kerana giliran kukerja masih bercuti,
Untuk berada di rumah sementara menjadi suri,
walaupun hati ingin di sisi.
Maka di situ kuhulur sepuluh jari,
lalu didakap dicium tanda cinta luhur yang bersaksi.

Kunanti ketibaannya di sana,
sambil mencoret luahan ini.
Bila berdering berita darinya,
hatiku berasa lega,
Alhamdulillah dia tiba dengan selamatnya.

Begitulah hati seorang isteri...
Menanti & terus menanti...
Saat tibanya di sisi suami...
Kerana itulah dia yang sentiasa bertakhta di hati...

Our Love Chemistry

2009-12-15T02:12:00.002+08:00

The love chemistry between us is such a wonderful thing to think of,

When we first met on the "Oceanus" bridge,
Our dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine released into racing heart.

When we accidentally lost at the out of nowhere,
Our 'love cocktail' crazed, can't-think-of-anything-but stage of romance...

When that powerful chemistry reaction proceeding with times,
Our breathless feelings finally led us into one more hidden chemistry;
The spiritual affinity that thankfully brought us into a deeper level...
The blessed marriage, which turned our heart & soul into a single magic substance with integrity as the base,
Where then, your presence gives me the feeling of warmth...

Subhanallah,
The love chemistry blessed into a true love between you & I,
And that... Alhamdulillah,
May our love always fresh & blessed.
Ameen...

Rindu

2009-12-13T17:42:00.001+08:00

Dahulu semasa cinta baru berputik,
Rindu itu ada, tetapi masih boleh dibendung.
Kini bila sudah berumahtangga,
Rindu itu masih ada, tetapi sudah tidak boleh dibendung.
Inilah dia rindu berasas cinta suci sepasang suami isteri...

Suamiku,
Sayang & cintaku terhadapmu tidak dapat kubandingkan dengan apapun,
kerana keikhlasan nawaituku itu adalah untuk bersamamu.
Maka itu, rinduku ke atasmu semakin kuat bila kau dan aku telah bersatu.

Bila kau tiada walau hanya seketika,
baumu disusul hingga puas ke deria.
Jika di bantal bau pipimu, di situlah pipiku yang dilabuhkan,
Jika di baju bau badanmu, di situlah tanganku yang dipeluknya
bagaikan kau di sisi, indah walaupun maya,
itulah rindu isteri terhadap suami :)

Wanita kini

2009-12-13T00:23:00.000+08:00

Wanita disinonimkan kelembutan,
Kelembutan dikaitkan hati & perasaan,
Tapi benarkah wanita kini sebegitu atau hanya kepuraan?

Jika yang baik,
Tak perlulah ku ulas pengertiannya di sini,
Tapi yang jahil,
Inilah yang hendak kutengahkan kini...

Pertama, jika kau adalah isteri,
Mengapa perlu curang berdalih drp suami sendiri,
Lalu beralih kpd lelaki yang lain?
Adakah ketidakpuasan nafsu yang menggila menggetar jiwa,
Lalu mengganggu hubungan manusia lain yang masih kekal suci?
Muhasabahlah isteri,
Jangan sampai kau tidak dimaafi orang,
Kelak kau pun dibalasi Tuhan.

Kedua, jika kau bukan isteri,
Mengapa perlu menaruh cinta kpd suami orang lain?
Tidakkah kau rasa murah hingga tidak mampu mencari lain yang lebih berhak?
Adakah kau naif yang baru mengenal alam,
Atau pelacur murahan bertopeng wajah alim & sopan?
Muhasabahlah perempuan,
Jangan sampai kau tidak dimaafi orang,
Kelak kau pun dibalasi Tuhan.

Sesungguhnya aku juga isteri,
Yang sentiasa berusaha memperkukuh kesetiaan kpd suami...
Cuma aku hairan,
Mengapa wanita kini sebegitu rupa.

Cerita di hari akhir aku bersamanya...

2009-12-09T16:01:00.002+08:00

Semenjak aku melahirkannya, tidak pernah sedetik pun aku teralpa selain mengenangkannya
aku dan suami pasti akan di sampingnya setiap hari iaitu kebiasaanya petang.
Namun pada hari terakhirnya, aku dan suami di sampingnya dengan perasaan hiba dan sebak.
Mana tidaknya, wajahnya ditatap berserta harapan yang menggunung
walaupun aku tahu itu kuasa Tuhan.
Surah & zikir tidak pernah lekang
semua yang terbaik didoakan untuknya.

Aku menyaksikan bacaan jantungnya yang semakin rendah
berserta reaksi peparunya yang naik turun tanda dia masih bernafas
maka aku & suami terus berzikir & memanggil2 namanya,
"Abir, Abir... Mommy & Daddy datang ni. Mommy/Daddy saaayang Abir sangat. Abir sehat2 ya sayang..."
sekejap2, aku memegang tangannya lalu dia menggenggam tanganku. Aku terus merasai seluruh tubuhnya kerana aku tahu aku Akan mrindukannya.
Dengan semua yang aku & suami lakukan itu, dia semakin kuat, degupan jantungnya kembali normal. Maka aku tahu, Abir ku itu sememangnya bersemangat kuat & menyayangi ibu & bapanya...

Namun apakan daya, jika Allah sudah mengkehendakinya, takkan pula aku hendak melawan...
Aku memaksa diriku untuk membiarkan dia pergi
walaupun aku bagaikan mati tidak tahan perasaanku di saat itu.
Aku mendakapnya dekat di jantungku, seakan tidak mahu lepas walapun sesaat...
Dia nazak di pangkuanku, lalu aku merelakan dia pergi.
Innalillah...

Kini, susuku untuknya hanya dibuang...
Sengaja diberhentikan kerana tiadanya dia untuk dinikmati...
Jika tidak, itulah saat manis bersamanya...
Tapi aku mesti redha dengan ketentuan Allah
sememangnya aku sedih, tapi kenyataannya dia di Jannah...
Mommy & Daddy rindu Abir, sayang...

Tangisan nyata

2009-12-08T17:44:00.002+08:00

Bila nurani sudah tidak boleh berbisik
masakan mulut ingin berkata petes
lagikan mata ingin berligat habis
fikiran runsing berharapan tipis

Sedih ini mengguris jiwa
tak tertahan lagi mata berkaca
berjurai turun akhirnya jua
banjiri semua apa yang ada

Air mataku tidak akan berhenti
mengenangkan ia di saat nadi yang terhenti
hanya Dia yang memahami
sayangnya ibu terhadap anak yang mati

Ya Allah yang maha Esa
aku syukur atasMu yang berkuasa
cuma aku mohon biar hatiku sasa
mengharungi dugaan beralir masa

sleepy craze

2009-02-12T18:17:00.002+08:00

there is nothing i can do to stop being sleepy, when i say i am sleepy, yes i am, my eyes could not be on their own anymore, they need 1 thing...and that thing is...."pillow". P for PHH whatta sleepy... I for I am trying hard to open my eyes, L for LOST of focus already... L for LOL help me please... O for OH my God, wake me up... W for WOW the forum i am attending now is going to be dismissed...huh::

Ijab & Qabul

2009-02-10T14:23:00.004+08:00

Alhamdulillah,
The perfect praise belongs to Him,
That brings us to the deal of a complete life,
The fundamental pillar of Islamic Law & Contract,
Specifically the Intention & Consent,
Ijab & Qabul.

My dear husband,
It is such a startling story to tell the world,
How we got into a beautiful reactor of our love equation,
That definitely cannot be found in any other chemistry,
As of each creature has its only one of its kind.

I remember the time we met on the beautiful bridge,
The tranquility of the dark territory,
Above the black lake of no sun,
That was the first time we met…
Then, the baroque moment in time,
On the trip of empathy towards our friend,
Far and there we know each other,
Until now, we are still exploring more,
In our deep and sincere loves that locked us in a comfort life.

My love,
Whatever it is,
There are lots more to tell you,
But let us store our old & fresh memories,
Be it our good flash of lessons,
Thus to learn and keep learning,
To grab the almost perfect way of life,
As what is there in our contract of offer & acceptance.

I love you my dear,
And more love & love & love after the Ijab & Qabul…
May God bless us…

Who's that LADY?

2008-11-13T18:18:00.000+08:00

A ‘yuck-looking’ mama of two kids
A ‘desperate’ wife of a ‘maybe-innocent’ husband
A ‘bad-conduct’ staff of a ‘bad-culture’ organization
A ‘guilty’ lady of a never forgive sin
Huh~ sounds hers exactly!

Who’s that lady?
It’s her, the never seal big mouth with never good words
With never good heart and never good soul
Good for her to be in a damn shit cistern
Huh~ sounds for her exactly!

Shoos~ you smell bad as bad as your face
Go away from my life
I don’t want to be like you
Huh~ sounds a way out from her!