Rail Bender

Global Citizens

2013-05-08T22:42:00.002-05:00

A recent comment by someone I know, I won't say who, gave me the inspiration to finally come out of my writing hiatus. In order to protect the individual's anonymity, I won't quote the comment verbatim, but the gist of their thought was this:

"... Today I saw another family with a rather large number of children. I have a rather large number of children. Maybe big families are making a comeback!!!"

As a scientist I say, boy I hope not.

What concerns me the most about the modern trend of having 3 to 5 children per couple can be summed up with simple mathematics. Let's begin, shall we? We'll start off simple with just two parents: Terry and Sherri. Terry and Sherri have a total of four children, two children per parent in the succeeding gene pool. (From now on we'll flex our science muscles and refer to this as the "replacement rate". In our first example, this would be a replacement rate of 4.0.) Now, Terry and Sherri's kids: Mary, Keri, Harry and Barry, pair up accordingly and marry (eww, shallow gene pool) and follow in their parent's footsteps and also have a replacement rate of 4.0. Four kids per set isn't bad, right?

Well, if you're moderately savvy, you'll immediately see a very troublesome trend. Even if we don't consider previous generations - in other words, once each couple gets all children to reproductive age, they die - this mythical population will explode. And it will explode in a hurry - an exponential hurry. If you want to try this at home, get a calculator and put in 2 raised to the 30th power and see how many people you get. That's 1,073,741,824 children in just 30 generations... Yikes.

Now let's consider resources for this exploding population. Food, water, living space (you know, the offspring need enough space to develop, not to mention the couple needs enough space for at least four rounds of hypothetical hanky panky), clothing, and the means to barter for these resources - you know, money. Remember, resources, by definition, are finite. What happens when our mythical population explodes and these basic resources become scarce? Double yikes.

I know this is a horrible comparison, but if you were to watch a colony of bacteria growing in a medium of limited resources - say a petri dish - you'll sit by and witness a colony thrive for a few generations only to eventually collapse and die due to lack of nutrients.

Note that I'm not even considering the possibility of a link between fertility rate and poverty, as this question has been going on for well over 100 years. However, it seems I'm not the only one that believes that higher standards of living can be attributable to lower fertility rates.

I don't mean to be harsh, but at some point our species has to grow up and consider the consequences of our actions... For example: Rather than thinking about yourself and your own selfish needs, how about considering your future beyond a few months? Do you have the means to accommodate that many children? And how about an even bigger question: Do you think our tiny little planet can continue to provide food and water for an exploding population of human beings? Are you willing to risk your child's future, or lack thereof, on your own selfish need to keep having babies?

Christian Love?

2012-08-05T23:29:00.003-05:00

As I'm sure most skeptics are aware, there's a modern phenomenon among the varying denominations of Christianity where just about all Christians will abandon their various differences and band together in unshakable unity when told to do so by a high profile Protestant. No matter how different their philosophical views subjects like premillennialism, a pretribulation rapture, or the divinity of Mary, when a social issue of any magnitude erupts within our society, these people immediately band together in a mob of gushing Biblical solidarity.

But I submit that Christians actually hate one another. They hate each other to such an extent that they can't even so much as be in the same building with one another for a couple of hours. These people would rather spend money that they don't have to build a new building - excuse me, a new, "house of worship" - than tolerate the blockheads from a few doors down. I mean, have you heard what those pinheads believe down there? HA!

Don't believe me? All you have to do is pick a Southern state, like my home state of Texas, and drive around one of the larger cities. Sure, there are definitely some larger churches, even a few mega-churches, but for the most part you'll discover one church after another, after another. If you really want a good laugh, take a couple of hours to drive through some of the rural areas in Texas. In one small town alone you're likely to see a plethora of Baptist churches; say a First Baptist Church, Second Baptist Church, Missionary Baptist Church, Trinity Baptist Church, New Hope Baptist Church, New Covenant Baptist Church, Calgary Baptist Church, Insert-Town-Name-Here-Baptist-Church... All within a 10 to 15 mile radius of one another.

Christian love? Not even. You don't have to go to a Chick-Fil-A to witness how hostile and hateful these people are. The vast number of tiny little churches within just a few miles of each other stand as a testament to how much they hate other human beings, even the ones that worship the same book.

PPACA and Scumbags

2012-07-02T19:31:00.001-05:00

I decided to try my hand at the, "Scumbag" internet meme with the following two Scumbag Preachers. Both of these are based on an amalgam of three different preachers that I've had conversations with online. After hearing their collective views of the newly upheld PPACA law, I thought they would all make perfect internet memes.

Scumbag Preacher One:

Scumbag Preacher Two:

What do you think?

Mental and Verbal Disconnects

2012-07-01T22:10:00.002-05:00

Now that I'm finally getting the time to make myself vocal again, I decided to start with a couple of standard mental disconnects that I've stumbled across over the past two weeks. The first is the ardent acknowledgment of the power of prayer and how some religious people can convince themselves that praying to their god moves them to the front of the long line of other humans begging for good fortune. The second is the idea of a religion whose leadership purports to care deeply for each and every soul, yet at the same time oppose measures taken outside the church that are intended solely for the greater good.

There are many people in my life that swear by the power of prayer. They ramble on and on how their lives have been drastically affected simply by asking their god to help them through various stressful events and other personal crises. I was told by one person that I should at least be able to recognize that it provides them with some comfort to know that someone else is praying for them. I can only assume this person means that these other people doing all this praying for them are in fact praying to their god of choice, else there's no real reason to feel comfort as their friends and or family are begging the wrong deity. And isn't it funny that their god really doesn't have to do anything beyond making a particular person feel as if they have the strength to survive the event? I mean, god doesn't seem to pay any attention to amputees, does he?

What these people never see is that prayer is a form of begging. You're putting yourself in the same position as a panhandler. Sure, you're supposedly not praying to a stranger, but you have to admit that the two situations are remarkably similar. Even the most common body position for prayer is that of the common beggar - on your knees, head down, with your hands placed together and in full view. (You wouldn't want the guy with all the goodies to think you were hiding something, right?) Some people often embellish the position with a bit of a submissive twist, arms open and raised in the air with their chest completely exposed. If this isn't the very definition of begging, then someone had better be a damn good debater to convince me otherwise.

Even so, there are people everywhere that will desperately try to convince me of how their god is constantly working in their lives; if I would just look at how much stronger they are today, it would be all the evidence I needed to recognize the power of prayer. Their families are healthy, happy, and thriving solely because their god chooses to grant their collective prayers.

And yet... just a half a world away, there are men, women, and children begging the same god - not for good report cards, or to heal a child with a fever, or to give them strength to keep going, or for good news from the doctor. These people are begging god for medicine; they are begging god for food; they are begging god for water. And these poor, innocent human beings will die... all the while begging that god to answer their prayers. In the grand scheme of the universe, this is the tiniest, most minuscule of distances, is it not? So what is this? Is this just willful ignorance in our society? Or is this an egotistical aversion; a stubborn unwillingness to recognize the suffering of others on a planet full of almost 7 billion other people? If it is, I'm not really sure god has made these people as strong as they believe themselves to be.

Along this same train of thought is the idea that on one hand, a church's leadership can claim that each and every soul in their community is worth saving. Yet on the other hand, these same people can openly oppose universal health care. How can this be? In my mind, I can find nothing worse than a person who stand upon a pulpit each and every Sunday, convincing other believers of the importance of saving other people's souls, then that same person makes an abrupt about face when it comes to making sure that these people should have access to the medical care that they might require.

For example, I'll provide an example to put this kind of thinking in context. "The idea behind it - universal health care - sounds good. But how are we going to be able to afford it?" he asks. Now, make absolutely sure you understand what it is he left out of that statement. What he left out was the word, "sick." That's the troublesome word, isn't it? Sick. Whether it was done deliberately or accidentally, what he really meant by his question was this: How are we healthy people going to be able to afford other sick people? As a religious leader, how can we afford NOT to help sick people? Tell me, is it better to let them go on in agony, or let them die simply because we're all too greedy to help those in need? Does a belief in the afterlife somehow make this kind of reasoning easier?

I cannot imagine thoughtlessly turning my head to those who are sick, those who are bearing the burden of a dying loved one, or to those that are busy going bankrupt simply because their bodies decided to create cell with unimaginable growth rates. Until I'm convince otherwise, I think the only way a person can reach the point where they can turn a blind eye to those in need is to believe in an all powerful, all knowing, perfectly merciful god.

My Down Time

2012-06-04T21:51:00.003-05:00

I won't be posting much over the next two weeks since I'm taking a much needed vacation from work and anything else that requires a significant amount of thinking.

In the meantime, try some of my favorite blogs instead:

Parents Beyond Belief

Religious Presumption

2012-05-28T22:29:00.001-05:00

My family and I decided to visit one of our favorite barbecue restaurants for lunch yesterday. As always, it was an extraordinarily yummy lunch - I had the brisket with a very cold Blue Moon - and the service in the restaurant was superb. However, as we all started to peel ourselves out from behind the table, a very presumptuous fellow at the nearest table went out of his way to get my attention. In fact, I'll just simply refer to him as Mr. Presumptuous.

"Excuse me," Mr. Presumptuous said. "Excuse me, sir?"

"Yes," I said, turning toward his table.

"I was just wondering. Does your family attend a church somewhere out here?"

"No sir, we don't," I answered, smiling and acknowledging his sudden interest in my family with a friendly hand wave. Thinking that our lovely conversation with Mr. Presumptuous was over, we all started for the door.

Mr. Presumptuous decided to press. "Then where do you go to church? Irving? Richardson?"

I turned back to him, having lost a bit of my patience, and said, "Look, you're asking the wrong people. Okay?"

Now here's when the conversation turned absolutely bizarre. Mr. Presumptuous asked, "What, you guys from a different country?" He looked about the table, seeking approval with a derisive chuckle.

I'm sure my face displayed my profound confusion when I answered Mr. Presumptuous with, "No sir... We're from the United States." But my wife and I knew this conversation was heading south quickly, so we wrapped our arms around our kids and calmly walked away.

Are you kidding me? A different country? REALLY? Mr. Presumptuous studied my lovely family, as we happily discussed our upcoming vacation over lunch, and arrogantly assumed that he was watching another Christian family. I admit that I am making a huge assumption by trying to guess what this man's original intentions were, but I can only conclude that he thought we were Christians. Either that or he thought we needed saving - I mean, I was having a beer on the Sabbath. Be that as it may, I'm inclined to believe he considered us fellow believers and wanted to know where we went to church. When I didn't answer his question the way he liked, he became downright belligerent - with my kids standing right there.

First of all, I refuse to allow myself to be pulled into a religious conversation in a restaurant, especially when that conversation borders on the absurd. And I certainly will not engage in this type of exchange when my children are present. Second, is this what religious people have become? Are the religious so arrogant in their beliefs, that the thought of bullying a perfectly happy family is appropriate? Give me a break...

By the way, my wife wins the reaction of the month award with her quick thinking response to Mr. Presumptuous' question of our citizenship. And I quote:

"HAAAA HAHAHAHAHAA!!!"

Classic.

Penitent Agnosticism

2012-05-27T21:51:00.002-05:00

Conversations with other nonbelievers can sometimes leave me scratching my head in bewilderment. So far, I've seen two types that consistently baffle me. First, there are those that love to play devil's advocate just because they love to argue. These are the people that would argue with a sign, even if they had painted it. Then there are those nonbelievers that love to hear themselves talk (or write); as they go on and on and on and never really make a point. Give the talkers a keyboard and you're sure to strain an eyeball as you struggle to find the point of their argument.

But the one conversation that completely baffles me - whether from a devil's advocate or a talker - is the argument of agnosticism. If you have been a nonbeliever for a while, you probably already know what I mean. If not, here's an example of how these conversations tend to progress:

Agnostic: "Do you believe in god?"

Me: "No. I don't believe in god."

Agnostic: "Okay... So you'd say you're an atheist?"

Me: "Yes."

Agnostic: "Well... I'm an agnostic, because I don't think we can ever prove there is no god."

Granted, I have heard variants of the argument. Take, for example, the agnostic talker:

"A proper definition of what humanity considers a deity has evolved into systems of science and identity; where science itself has become the backbone of modern faith which requires the devotee to seek refuge in the community of human knowledge rather than the company of religious companions. Human knowledge is demonstrably ineffectual when considering the quantum indeterminacy within our own cosmos, which by definition leaves the possibility of unknown states of reality. Thus, the very existence of god is ultimately unknowable."

Phew!

Then there's the agnostic devil's advocate:

"God could easily live outside the measurable universe. You can't prove that he can't."

Okay, I would like to offer a compromise to all the agnostics out there. I will cede the point with all of you that I cannot prove that there is no god, so long as you agree that you cannot prove that there is no Santa Claus, no Easter Bunny, no Thor, no Zeus, and that I do not own an invisible, flying purple dragon in my garage. If you're going to argue the possibility of existence for one mythical deity, you'd better be consistent in your acceptance of all possibilities of the unknowable.

What bothers me so much about the modern agnostic argument for the possibility of a god is that there seems to me to be this self-declared intellectual high ground that agnostics just love to hoist their victory flag upon. Hogwash! Proclaiming yourself as holding the more intellectual position simply because you're uncomfortable with the notion of disbelief is vain and hollow. Not to mention the fact that this position is one of modern Christian subservience. Don't believe me? Then ask yourselves how many times you've had to stand firm on your agnosticism of Brahma, or your agnosticism on reincarnation? I've even had one agnostic recently assert that the term "atheism" just sounds too antagonistic...

Are you kidding me? First of all, I will grant that I have heard that there are some atheists who will state that they know for a fact that there is no god. But these are few and far between, as most atheists that I know would say that based on the evidence at hand, they do not believe there is a god. In other words, we are willing to accept new evidence so long as it can pass the rigors of the scientific method. Second, and most importantly, who do you think it is that has you convinced that the term, "atheist" is antagonistic? I would never presume to speak for the entire atheist community, but for me, I'm quite sure it wasn't from us.

My point here is this: If you're going to argue for the possibility of a deity, you'd better be consistent on your intellectual high ground - lest be labeled an apologetic.

DISCLAIMER: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

In Faith, Lies a Prison

2012-05-24T09:32:00.003-05:00

I told myself I wasn't going to get into how monumentally stupid Pastor Charles Worley's May 13th sermon was, especially the whole idea of using genocide to get rid of everyone he doesn't like. (Think about it, Chuck. Heteros are the ones having all the gay babies.) But then Anderson Cooper had to interview Stacey Pritchard, one of the alleged 1200 church members from the Providence Road Baptist Church:

I'm always amazed at the mental gymnastics that religious people are willing to perform when they know they've been cornered with a contradiction. But what this woman does borders on a comic book style superpower. When Cooper politely tried over and over again to point out that her answers were woefully inconsistent and downright crazy, her position became even more steadfast. It didn't matter to her in the least that she recognized that Cooper's questions sounded reasonable.

You can actually see her give up about a minute and a half into the video, as she rolled her eyes in defiance of his point. The religious brainwashing will simply not allow her to concede that her pastor is perverse, he is barbaric, he is bloodthirsty, and he is psychotic. Just watching her body language, you can see that she knows it. Does that matter to her? Not in the slightest.

Look, I appreciate that this puffed up, narrow-minded, bitter example of a woman had the courage to step onto a national stage to defend Mr. Worley. And judging by all that pretentious eye-rolling and bizarre overuse of punctuated syllables, I'm sure she walked away from the interview with the impression that she eloquently defended that pathetic excuse of a human being. But when a person refuses to stand up against the idea of genocide, no matter how close they may be to the psychopath that suggested it, then that person's mind should be considered to be broken.

The irony here is that fundamentalist Christians like her often quote John 8:32, where Jesus asserts that the truth of his teachings will set them free. But ask yourself, does this video look like a woman who's mind is set free? Or does this sound more like a woman who is so close-minded, so locked in her belief, that she won't even consider acknowledging that she couldn't answer Anderson Cooper's questions, much less admit that she knew he was right?

What these victims of modern religion will never see is that, while they seek to push the people they don't like into a prison of electrified fences, they proudly and habitually march into their own psychological prisons. The walls of their prisons aren't electrified or topped with razor wire; theirs are topped with a cross.

It's Time to Pay Up

2012-05-23T20:53:00.002-05:00

A few days ago, I watched a video that was recorded on May 13th, 2012, with Pastor Charles L. Worley giving his "sermon" to the parishioners of the Providence Road Baptist Church in Maiden, NC. I found myself horrified by the end, because this disturbing video overflows with hate, bigotry, and even a deranged plan for genocide - all from a local religious leader. Lovely.

This rabid old fool is precisely what's wrong with Southern Baptists; but that's way too obvious a point to waste on a blog post. So, try to keep your food down as you listen through all the, "again' it" and, "I'mma tell yeh right now," because there's something this idiot says that drew my attention.

Let's move straight into my favorite quote from his sermon. Mr. Worley states:

"Somebody said, Who you gonna vote for? I ain't gonna vote for a baby killer and a homosexual lover! You say, 'Did you mean to say that?' You better believe I did!"

There it is! Mr. Worley has officially announced his political campaign against the President of the United States. I just love how dramatic and flamboyant he is, too - with a sassy little hand beside his mouth for effect! TWICE!!! Go tell it on the mountain, Pastor! Over the hills and... so on and so forth.

Now that Mr. Worley is using the Providence Road Baptist Church pulpit to preach his politics, I think it is only fitting that church loses its exempt status and starts paying taxes to the Federal government. You see, since Mr. Worley made the conscious decision to use his religious, tax exempt pulpit to persuade his parishioners to vote against the President, even going so far as to emphasize his political views (remember that sassy little hand gesture) by rhetorically asking himself if he really meant to say it, then he's made a conscious decision to solicit votes against the President. This should be a slam dunk for the IRS to revoke the tax exempt status of this church. Time to pay up, Providence!

And wouldn't you know it, just as I was writing this post, I received a notification that the Freedom From Religion Foundation came to the same conclusion. Today, they have dispatched a letter to alert the IRS Exempt Organizations Office, right here in Dallas, of illegal campaign intervention activities at Mr. Worley's church.

The tax man cometh, Mr. Worley... Is your church ready to take responsibility for your willingness to campaign against President Barack Obama or are you already trying to figure out a way to weasel out of paying your taxes? I'm betting on the latter.

One last thing, because I just can't help myself. I'll quote Mr. Worley one more time.

"I don't even know if you ought to say this in the pulpit or not... Can you imagine kissing some man?"

My, my... Pastor Worley. You go, girl! I would say that by your words and your actions, you CAN and probably DO imagine yourself kissing another man. Frequently.

Self Promotion: Deux

2012-05-22T06:33:00.002-05:00

It's time for the second post in the two part series on bullying to be published on the Parenting Beyond Belief blog!

Again, I'd like to thank Rebekah Bennetch and Dale McGowan for allowing me the use of their blog space.

From the Parents Beyond Belief website:

Parents Beyond Belief is a blog by, for, and about secular parents. It’s a place to exchange ideas, to learn what has and hasn’t worked elsewhere, to discover how best to get a new secular parenting group airborne, and to realize you’re not remotely alone.

Solar Eclipse 2012

2012-05-20T20:26:00.002-05:00

As the sun was setting, I decided to snap a few pictures of the solar eclipse. It's not much, but it was all I could get from my North Texas backyard. Enjoy!

Like It or Not, We ARE Related

2012-05-18T21:42:00.005-05:00

There appears to be yet another absolutely ignorant and outright dishonest claim making its way around the Creationist circle-jerk on Facebook; all wrapped in an easily understood one-liner that gets all of them into a frothy delirium. Seriously, if it's made it to my news feed, then I know it must be making the rounds everywhere else:

First of all, not only are we related to other apes, it goes much, much deeper than that. We are apes!!! I cannot stress this enough! I am not going to flood this post with the mountain of information that science has collected covering the evolution of human beings, nor will I post the massive amount of evidence to show exactly how very close our genetic relationship is to other apes - especially chimpanzees. (We are the most studied animal on the planet!) I won't do that because first of all, other people have already done that far better than I could and second, anyone that cares to know how wrong this picture is can do a simple search and find some answers. Even so...

WE ARE APES!!!

Look, it doesn't matter how uncomfortable the genetic "family tree" of our species makes you or your fellow religious fanatics, you just simply can't say or write something to make this fact go away. Surely you realize you have to back up your claim with some evidence, not hide behind a stupid, one-line caricature.

So, after I calmed down and stopped yelling at the LCD on my laptop, I had to know where this brainless thing originated. I decided to ask Dr. Google, and I stumbled upon this t-shirt:

I suppose this shouldn't surprise me. I should have already guessed that these bonehead Creationists can't make up their own jokes. At least the original actually is funny, and sure as hell isn't making some moronic and completely asinine claim about Evolution.

Now comes the truly sad part of this story. The person that so happily shared that silly picture on Facebook is... a schoolteacher.

Bullying and Harassment at a Christian School

2012-05-15T07:03:00.003-05:00

This morning I became aware of yet another story about a child being bullied at her school. The reddit user, heiressapparent, wrote an essay that details the bullying and sexual harassment rampant at her Christian school. I can't say that I'm all that shocked at the abuse going on in a private Christian school, but then again, it shouldn't matter what type of school it is when we're talking about bullying, should it?

She posted the entire essay on imgur.com after taking screen captures of what appears to be her Facebook page. I found it a little difficult to read, so instead I decided to save the screen captures and post them on my blog as well. Her story speaks for itself, and is definitely worth the read.

Keep in mind that we are talking about a 14 year old here.

This disgusts me, plain and simple. No child should be subjected to this kind of abuse.

Self Promotion: Parents Beyond Belief!

2012-05-14T07:03:00.002-05:00

About two weeks ago, I contacted Dale McGowan and Rebekah Bennetch of the Parents Beyond Belief blog, to ask if they would consider allowing me to write a blog post about bullying in the name of religion. After writing my own series on the subject, and all the positive feedback I received, I thought it might be a really good idea to bring this topic to a much wider audience.

Well, wouldn't you know it? They were very, very gracious and accepted two of my posts, the first of which was published last night! I am sincerely grateful to both Dale and Rebekah for allowing me to be a part of their community of secular parents. And I very much appreciate Rebekah for all her help in preparing my posts for their blog. Thank you so much, Rebekah!

From the Parents Beyond Belief website:

Parents Beyond Belief is a blog by, for, and about secular parents. It’s a place to exchange ideas, to learn what has and hasn’t worked elsewhere, to discover how best to get a new secular parenting group airborne, and to realize you’re not remotely alone.

Sure, I'm promoting my own blog post, but when you get a chance, go spend some time reading through what other parents have posted. I can't tell you how much I've learned from all of the people that have participated in this blog. If you're a secular parent and you find you need a little guidance on a particular subject, more than likely you'll find some help there. If not, who knows? I'm quite sure Dale and Rebekah would love you share your thoughts as well!

Obama: Here I Was, All Excited, Then...

2012-05-09T21:42:00.003-05:00

I read this:

"At a certain point I've just concluded that for me, personally, it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married."

Thanks... I guess?

This issue is so important for the President of the United States that, golly gosh darn he's going to go ahead and affirm that people that love one another deserve to get married??? Sure, I think he's finally "come out" on our side, but good grief, does anyone else think he sounds like Lumbergh from "Office Space"?

All joking aside, this is typical of modern politicians. And I'm really, really trying to see this from his perspective. No matter what the man says on the issue, it'll be used against him one way or another in the next election. But come ON! The LBGT community, as well as most liberals, have been waiting for well over 20 years for a high-profile figure from the Democratic party to stand up against a very vocal, and very well funded conservative political machine. Yet an affirmation is all we get.

I think we've reached a point in our history where liberals have to stop being polite. We have to begin to ask ourselves, at what point will we finally band together to combat the people that are so willing to take away the rights of others? When will our society reach the point where bigots no longer get to dictate public policy, no matter how vast their number?

Do you still not understand my point? Okay. Let's try an experiment. How about I rephrase the President's remarks like this:

"At a certain point I've just concluded that for me, personally, it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think women should be able to vote."

Or how about this:

"At a certain point I've just concluded that for me, personally, it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think black people should have the same rights as white people."

Got it?

A Call to Prayer for Terry McDonald

2012-05-02T20:57:00.000-05:00

The Metroplex Atheists have issued a statement today, calling for a local church to, "publicly demonstrate what Christians often refer to as the 'power of prayer'." The scenario is this: the Metroplex Atheists and the prospective church will agree upon a start date and an end date for the church congregation to pray for one of the atheists to become a Christian.

The volunteer that the Metroplex Atheists have chosen is one of their high profile members, Mr. Terry McDonald. I really like Terry and have met him a couple of times (once at a MA business meeting.) But I have to say something here that some fellow atheists aren't going to like.

To me, this tactic doesn't seem like the right approach to further the cause of atheism. This little press release seems more like a childish gimmick rather than a means to get religious people to really think critically about their own religious beliefs.

We, as atheists, have to realize that we cannot openly setup this kind of senseless, emotional circus because it only gives the religious a chance to point condescending fingers at us, and shout, "See? You see how they are??!?"

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for confronting the religious and pushing back against their dogma. Anyone that's asked me about my feelings toward religion or religious leaders will hear as much. But I want to be the group that's acting like adults, not callow toddlers trying to setup another person (or group in this case) for failure. Let's be the group that remembers that there have already been studies attempting to prove the power of prayer. Let's be the group that reminds religious people that recent studies have shown that prayer has no statistical significance whatsoever. As a matter of fact, for a religious patient, the thought of others praying for them can cause undo pressure as they wonder why God has forsaken them.

I don't know, maybe it's just me... But doesn't this call for proof of the power of prayer seem a little... immature and silly?

---

*** UPDATE:
The local CBS affiliate picked up the statement from the Metroplex Atheists and ran a story on their 10 o'clock news last night. As usual, the religious leaders got the last word, claiming that, "The bible promises that God will answer every prayer that is within his will." Well, that's what I was afraid of.

The message that the Metroplex Atheists were trying to send to the religious community got lost in the hype of the story itself. I completely agree that we are constantly bombarded with messages from Christians claiming, "the power of prayer." Yet when openly and properly tested, god can always count on its Christian (or any religion for that matter) followers to have an excuse at the ready when the prayers consistently fail.

I believe that this is the real message that the Metroplex Atheists were trying to communicate to the public. I just think they may have gone about this the wrong way. They gave the local churches a way to set themselves up as the more mature group. And what a shock, that's exactly what the church leaders did in their interviews. Furthermore, the Metroplex Atheists gave the reporter an opportunity to dictate what message they were sending to the public, so they shouldn't be surprised that their message got lost in the hype.

Here's the video, in case you're interested:

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The Prejudiced Future of Lifestyle Rationing

2012-04-29T23:52:00.002-05:00

Imagine you're sitting in your doctor's office, waiting on what could be the worst day of your life. I'm not talking about finding out that you've been diagnosed with stage four cancer, or that only twenty-five percent of your liver is still functioning, or that you have ALS, or any other diagnosis that assures the end of your life is near. In my fictional scenario, you are already fully aware of the severity of your disease and you've had time to deal with the weight of your own mortality.

Imagine instead that you're sitting in a cold, hard leather office chair, re-reading your physicians diploma for the tenth time, nervously shifting back and forth as you wait for him or her to walk through the door just so you can find out if you qualify to be treated for your life-threatening illness. The cure is available, but is your life worth saving? For in the modern era of risk assessment and cost analysis, we are on the verge of lifestyle rationing, where a set of doctors decide whether or not you are deserving or undeserving of treatment.

Have you ever applied for a mortgage or a loan from a bank where you didn't know your credit? Remember the anxiety and insecurity you felt as you frantically scanned through the memories of your personal finances? Did the bank see you as a good investment? What were they saying about you?

Now put yourself back in that leather chair. Try to imagine a committee of doctors you've never met, or worse - a statistical analysis run by poorly written software, deciding whether or not your DNA or the choices you've made over the course of your life qualifies you for a medical treatment that will save your life.

When I think about the future of medical technology in an unregulated capitalist market, this scenario seems the most horrifying. Mostly because everything that I've written here seems the most plausible given the current political environment; both in Europe and the United States.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely understand the necessity of prudence when it comes to treatments - especially surgery. For example, those that are extremely (or morbidly) obese. Physicians have to weigh the current stability of the patient, the risks to the patient during the procedure, and finally the likelihood of the patient to survive the rehabilitation period. These are all valid concerns, and they are all valid points of contention when deciding the best course of action for a particular patient.

But where do these medical trusts draw the line? As our understanding of the human genome grows, who's to say these trusts won't use this data as well? Take me, for example. What if I needed a heart or liver transplant? At five feet, nine inches in height and roughly 180 pounds, I'm considered overweight. Sure, I exercise regularly, but already I have a risk factor. Strike one against me. Like every other male that I'm aware of in my ancestry, the DNA floating around in my cells has endowed me with hypertension, or high blood pressure. Strike two. I ride a motorcycle to work. Red flag there; strike three.

You get the idea...

Sure, this story is currently unfolding in Europe, but I predict that in a matter of a few years, the United States will be knee deep in exactly the same controversy.

Is this the future of medicine? Is this what humanity was destined to accomplish? With all the public funding available to the various medical sciences, is our society willing to accept a workforce of physicians that only provides the peak of modern medicine to people that are low risk? Or people that can pay? Are we ready to define ourselves - as Americans - as a society that in one breath fights for the right to life of a blastula, and in the other condemns a living, breathing human being to certain death because they're too fat?

As I think about the next 30 years of my life and project myself at 70 years old, I wonder...

Discrimination Right Here in Plano

2012-04-26T20:58:00.000-05:00

About a month ago, the Dallas/Ft. Worth Coalition of Reason began their campaign called, "Our Families Are Great Without Religion." The DFWCoR purchased several billboards as well as some pre-show advertising time and space on the movie screens at the Green Oaks Movie Tavern in Arlington. The Movie Tavern summarily rejected the advertisements after early publicity of the campaign suggested that the DFWCoR was targeting kids (thank you, Fox News affiliates.)

Then, luckily, the DFWCoR thought they received some good news because a couple of days later another theater - the Angelika Film Center in Plano - agreed to enter into a contract with the them to continue their campaign on a local movie theater screen. I remember feeling so proud of and so grateful to the Angelika, because a local group of atheists had finally found a business partner willing to accept them - right here in Plano.

Great news, right? Wrong.

After the local Christian complaint machine inundated their office with nasty phone calls and emails, the Angelika decided that given the intolerant environment, the contract with the DFWCoR was cancelled. The manager claimed that the decision to cancel the contract was made at the corporate level and they had nothing to do with it, as if that washes their hands of any wrongdoing.

It is worth noting that the Angelika Film Center has run many, many different advertisements from local churches and religious groups. But the atheists were just too contentious...

If you'd like an idea of what the DFWCoR was running, here's an example of one of the advertisements that's been pulled TWICE:

The image is SO controversial, I know. I mean, think of the children!

Well today, I found out via Facebook that the DFWCoR is getting some help - some legal help. The American Humanist Association has warned the Angelika Film Center with a fantastic notification that it has violated federal law by refusing to run the advertisements according to the contract. Take a minute to read the two-page letter - it's filled with little gems like this:

"This pattern of facts clearly indicates that the Theater refused to do business with the Coalition because of bias against its religious views."

And:

"Title II of the federal Civil Rights Act of 1964 (the “Act”) prohibits a business establishment such as the Theater from discriminating on the basis of religious views (such as atheism)."

And:

"Please note that under the Act it is irrelevant whether your decision to refuse to do business with the Coalition was based on personal or organization animus to the atheist views of the Coalition and its proposed advertising or whether it was purely a business decision intended to avoid controversy."

Am I the only one that hopes the AHA comes to the DFW metroplex to kick some ass? Legally speaking, of course...

The End of the Birth Canal

2012-04-25T21:18:00.002-05:00

The Governor of Mississippi, Phil Bryant (R), signed a bill into law that will require all physicians performing abortions must have admitting privileges at the local hospital. This has nothing at all to do with the safety of the woman and everything to do with keeping out of state, board certified doctors from being able to perform abortions in the state of Mississippi.

And truth be told, this was nothing but a pathetic political move by the Republican Party of Mississippi to use the power of the state government to close the only abortion clinic in the state. The hypocrisy of the Conservative mantra of "small government" aside, Democrats realized the ploy and fought the bill politically. Bryant then used their opposition in the most disgusting way possible.

Mr. Bryant states:

"Even if you believe in abortion, the hypocrisy of the left that now tried to kill this bill, that says that I should have never signed it, the true hypocrisy is that their one mission in life is to abort children, is to kill children in the womb."

First of all, we're talking about a fetus here, not a child. One is a parasite incapable of life independent of the mother, with only the potential to become a human (assuming nothing goes wrong, that is.) The other is a fully formed human being with a functioning brain, heart, liver, and other vital organs - assuming no other health issues prevented the proper formation of these organs. The two are not equivalent.

Second, I realize that politicians have always tried to play to their base, but at some point these people should be held accountable for deceitful statements like this. Nobody in their right mind would want to abort a fetus (not a child, a fetus), but if a physician is willing to travel to your state to assist women with their Constitutional right to their own health, then that, Mr. Bryant, is none of our business.

I could quote what the Bible claims about aborting fetuses, and how the Christian god deals with children it doesn't like, but that's not what this is about. This is about the freedom of a woman to chose. And the only reason Conservatives even know what a fetus is, much less that we can remove it before it comes to term, is due to modern science. So stop moving the goalposts of your definition of life.

So give us all a break, Mr. Bryant, because we all know that, like most Conservatives, the end of the birth canal marks the end of your concern for human life.

Impermeable Cocoon of Denial: Don McLeroy

2012-04-24T21:12:00.000-05:00

Last night on the Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert interviewed Don McLeroy, the former Chairman of the Texas Board of Education. Following standard procedure for his show, Mr. Colbert used his unique interviewing skills of ridicule and courtesy to make it appear he agreed with McLeroy:

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Listening to this fool is like nails on a chalk board for me. Seriously.

So, McLeroy disagrees with experts. Based on what? Your world renowned curriculum vitae in the field of DENTISTRY?

And are people supposed to be impressed by his proclamation that he's going to stand up to the experts? As I've said to others, this is not the 14th century, Mr. McLeroy. Our society has scientifically verifiable evidence at our disposal; which means you are more than welcome to take it upon yourself to prove these facts (or theories) wrong.

I suppose he fancies himself a scientist with some real clout. He states, "Frankly, if you look at the complexity of the cell... I'm a skeptic." Whoa, slow down... Those are some real sciencey words, my good man. Plus, I know I'm blushing here, but you had me at, "yes," when Colbert asked you about your, "scientific" opinion that dinosaurs and humans walked the Earth together. They got them tracks in Glen Rose! YEEHAW!!!

In all seriousness, statements like these from McLeroy point to a very deluded and dangerous mind that has been twisted into an impermeable cocoon of denial. I've seen this in a couple of pastors that I know. They were men of science, yet they tuck this little box in the back of their minds where they will not allow their faith to be questioned by science, reason, or evidence. To these religious leaders, and McLeroy, it's the Bible or nothing. Inflexibility like this has the potential to be very, very dangerous - especially to kids.

And what about this:

"Nothing is what a sleeping rock dreams of."

Huh? I don't even know where to begin... I suppose he's referring to Plato's definition of nothing as, "That which rocks dream about." But the idiot couldn't even get THAT right. Anyway, I've heard some corny religious opinions in my day, but this guy with his sleeping rock strawman wins the dumbass of the year award, hands down.

While we're poking fun at McLeroy, let's not forget his legacy and what the school board under his chairmanship did to our students, and our curriculum. From an article in the Dallas Morning News:

"A majority of Texas high school graduates who took the ACT this year lacked the skills to pass introductory college courses in math, reading and science, according to a report on the college entrance exam..."

That's the kind of statistic that should be sending this fool back to his periodontal probes and dental burs.

Now to my last point. If those who believe in creationism ever read this, there is but one thing I hope you take away from this post. The word you guys are looking for is not Evolution, it is Abiogenesis. The scientific evidence for the Theory of Evolution is so overwhelming that it is likely the most understood scientific theory in the modern age. Abiogenesis on the other hand, has several possible models that range anywhere from the "primordial soup" theory, to the deep sea vent theory, to the clay theory... You get the idea. So, to be perfectly honest, we simply do not know the answer to the question of abiogenesis - YET. If that's where you want to hide your god, so be it.

But please creationists, I beg you. Make sure you know which scientific gap you're trying to squeeze your ever shrinking god into so that rational people won't have to hear the same, tired, nonsensical, and refuted arguments over and over. Deal?

Atheist Blogroll

2012-04-22T22:55:00.003-05:00

It's time for a little self-promotion: the Rail Bender has been added to the Atheist Blogroll. I've added a permanent link to the blogroll in my quick-links (on the right - scroll and you'll see it.)

But just for good measure, here's a link to the roll:

Looking ahead, I'm hoping to continue to find topics that provide help and advice to people who, like me, live in an area of the United States that places too much reliance on faith and religion.

I'm looking forward to more topic suggestions; and remember, critiques are always welcome.

Bullying: Do Not Neglect To Do Good

2012-04-18T22:01:00.001-05:00

PREVIOUS: For They Know Not What They Do

For their daughter's sake, my brother and his wife did the best they could to stay calm. They hugged my niece, reassured her that everything was going to be fine, and told her that mommy and daddy were going to take care of everything. Comforting her seemed to put her at ease, which subsequently made her outlook on the upcoming school day much more manageable.

My brother's day, on the other hand, had just taken a turn for the worse. He was furious, and he'd had enough. As much as he hated the idea of causing a rift between himself and the faculty of the school, he knew that his daughter's emotional state was far more important to him than worrying about making educators uncomfortable. He knew that his next step was to contact his daughter's teacher.

Growing anxious over the thought of an impending confrontation with the teacher over religion, my brother approached me for some advice. Needless to say, I told him much of what I have included in this series. I said that what these kids were doing to his daughter was wrong. His daughter is being bullied, plain and simple, and that he should contact her teacher immediately to schedule a parent-teacher conference. Tell the teacher everything that his daughter told him. If he can't make any progress with the teacher, then do not let it end there. "Go straight to the Principal if you have to," I said. "But make absolutely sure you have a pencil and paper when you talk to any of the faculty so you can write down everything that everyone says."

Obviously, I wanted him to be prepared for the worst.

As it turns out, my assumptions about the school, as well as my brother's, were completely mistaken. We were both pleasantly surprised by the heartfelt reaction from his daughter's teacher, and stunned at how quickly she responded to his initial email.

"I am so sorry," she replied. "This is unacceptable! I spoke to the entire class about this kind of behavior at the beginning of the school year and I can assure you that this will not go unpunished."

My brother and I were both so grateful for the attention that this teacher was willing to demonstrate to us - mainly because we both had sorely misjudged the reaction we would receive from her. Our preconceived notions born out of past confrontations with other religious people had led us to believe that no matter what these boys had said or done to my niece, their religious bullying would be overlooked simply because they weren't saying anything outside of messages that they had most likely heard during a Sunday sermon.

And yet, though we had prepared for the worst, the entire plan that my brother and I had concocted was nullified by one, three word sentence: "This is unacceptable."

Sure, it is but one elementary school teacher... but that is progress.

Of course it is in your best interest to prepare yourself when you are expecting a confrontation with another person over religion, especially considering how many religious people view the atheist and agnostic community. But the point here is that people oftentimes surprise you with their rationality - particularly when dealing with the emotional environment of a child.

I cannot speak for my brother, but I think it's safe to say that we both learned a valuable lesson. Not everyone who considers themselves religious will be ready to stand behind kids that display this kind of aggressive and abusive behavior. As a matter of fact, I would argue that there are far more rational people out there than I would normally give our society credit for. Indeed, I'm beginning to believe that most people in my community will stand with me rather than against me, firmly opposed to all groups of students who exhibit any kind of malicious behavior toward another student.

So, keep your wits and keep your cool. Because through your example, your child will learn strength and determination; so long as you make sure you're on the side of rationality, acceptance, kindness, and love.

Bullying: For They Know Not What They Do

2012-04-17T23:00:00.001-05:00

PREVIOUS: Tell Him His Fault, Between You and Him Alone

I've mentioned before that it seems highly suspect to me that children and teens who bully others in the name of religion would have had the idea originate from within. Again, it is far more likely that religious kids are being manipulated into believing that when it comes to another person's immortal soul, as a follower of Jesus Christ it is their duty to be a brute. Take, for example, Focus on the Family's "Day of Dialog", or the Center for Arizona Policy killing anti-bullying legislation. These groups are openly opposed to anti-bullying rules and laws because they believe that any mention of "gay" or "lesbian" is promoting homosexuality. And by putting on such frenzied displays, these religious groups are not only dictating public policy, they are also telling their children that if they are around a person that is openly gay, they get a free pass to exhibit barbarous, malignant, and antisocial behavior toward another human being. It's no wonder that some kids raised in religion go on to verbally and sometimes physically abuse other children. They have the luxury of literally running back to the primitive and cozy comfort of the anti-gay passages in their Bible.

This same behavior has manifested itself toward atheists as well. Jessica Ahlquist and David Fowler have received threats of violence, rape, and death from other kids their age; all in the name of Christianity.

Perhaps it's easier for religious kids to justify this kind of atrocious behavior. They have been taught to believe that being obnoxious toward sinful human beings is all for the greater good. Most rational people will likely believe that this is completely absurd, but how else can we account for seemingly normal-minded people becoming so cruel and intolerant? An even better question might be, where does the loathing of atheists and the hostility toward anyone who questions the existence of god originate?

From the parochial pastors of South Carolina to the high profile Evangelicals of Colorado Springs, I think the answer is obvious: religious leaders.

The atheist, agnostic and humanist community is currently caught up in the inevitable outcome of years of religious leaders pleading for their congregation to, "spread the word of God," and, "be soldiers for Christ." This message has been perverted to such extreme proportions that the United States now has a sizable majority of children and teens, as well as adults, that either do not realize, or can't understand, that what they're doing to other people is wrong. Their perspective on humanity has been so skewed by the religious leaders of their community, that they fervently believe that barbaric behavior is perfectly justifiable - so long as it's done with a Bible in their pocket.

Even Hollywood has noticed this phenomenon. All anyone has to do is watch an episode of the very popular show, "GCB" to see what I mean. (The social interaction and covert peer pressure between the women of that show honestly deserves a full blog post by itself.) The characters, as exaggerated and superficial as the are, serve as a satirical lens into the twisted psyche of modern Southern Baptists. And as funny as this show can be, I think the lessons of the emotional damage caused by bullying in the name of religion sometimes gets lost in the mockery. Insults, stereotypes, and teasing are a way of life for the characters in this show. As a matter of fact, the main character was once the "Queen Bee" in high school, who had the power to decide which of the other girls in the school were foxes or javelinas. Now, I will admit that this episode was really clever. But my worry is that most people do not realize that the indirect bullying and intimidation shown in this episode is not that far fetched for some high school students.

For example, here is a list of insults that have been given to me or said to me personally, provided in order from youngest bully to oldest:

"You're just mean"
"You're a bad person"
"You're going to hell"
"I hate you"
"You're a devil worshipper"
"You're just angry"
"You're a slut"
"You're shallow"
"You've disappointed me"
"You're immoral"
"You just lack character"
"You're depraved"
"You're a criminal"
"You deserve to die"

As you can see, the list progresses from fairly bland accusations to very hurtful and destructive statements. Yet each and every day there are children and teens in our country that are forced to endure this kind of religiously motivated verbal attack.

The really unfortunate thing is that perverse people like this are not that uncommon. If you are an atheist, you can bet that these are the words that you and your children are likely to hear from some religious people; that includes religious family members. (I've seen it with my own family.) On the other hand, you will find that insults do not have to be as pointed as the ones I've included in the list. Most religious people - especially family members - will wrap their insults in phony concern, such as, "I'll pray for you," or, "I just worry about the souls of your kids." But as we all know, this is simply a backhanded comment fashioned in an accusatory way. They'll pray for you because obviously you're a heathen, and of course they worry about the souls of your kids because you have doomed them all to Hell. And if you find that your family was successful in making you feel guilty, then you may have just fallen victim to indirect bullying.

As I said earlier, it is my conclusion that this is how an overtly religious person has been taught to handle non-believers. Religious leaders have indoctrinated vast numbers of people, including children, to reduce atheists and agnostics to immoral animals in order to give themselves the right to intimidate and bully them into submission.

However, atheists and agnostics need not simply stand idly by as religious bullies try to put them or their family members into a position of submissiveness. In fact, when it comes to our kids, it is our duty as parents to make certain that our children receive the support they need when it comes to dealing with a religious bully. Take the initiative. Contact all of the teachers in your child's grade. Be prepared to escalate the situation to the school administration when necessary. Write everything down; every name, every phone conversation, every meeting. Show everyone that you will not stop until the bullying stops. You cannot allow a playground bully to go unchecked at your child's school just because he or she happens to mention the Bible.

Keep in mind that as much as the religious demand it, their dogma does not automatically deserve respect. You are allowed to speak up, so long as you know that the situation will not escalate to the point where your life, or the life of a loved one, is in danger. Direct confrontation of a bully does have its merits, so long as you stay focused on your safety.

NEXT: Do Not Neglect To Do Good

Bullying: Tell Him His Fault, Between You and Him Alone

2012-04-16T22:13:00.001-05:00

PREVIOUS: A Renewed Focus on Bullying

During a normal day at his after school care, my son and his friends were horsing around in the gym like any normal group of rowdy boys. He was in second grade at the time, (he's in fourth grade now) which meant that he and his friends were starting to introduce each other to new games they've played.

One of his friends mentioned that he wanted to play a game that he learned at church. I am not at all clear on the gist of the game, but it had something to do with the children pretending to be angels (or something to that effect.) Confused, my son looked at his friend and said the worst thing he could have to a child who was raised in religion.

"Angels aren't real," he said.

Well, you can imagine what happened next. His friends immediately began arguing with him over the existence of heavenly angels, of which they have absolutely no perspective from which to make an informed decision. Granted, my son had no perspective on the matter either, but to me his view was the healthy one.

Nevertheless, due to the escalation of the young men's debate over the existence of tufted, biblical ethereal guardians, he and his friends were summarily escorted to the school’s office, where they all sat and waited for their parents to arrive. And that's where I unknowingly approached a mild confrontation with my first overtly Christian educator.

Before I continue, I should mention that it would be a vast understatement to say that my son struggled with his behavior during second grade. My wife and I became very well known in the front office, as did my boy. So now you should understand it when I tell you that I’m quite sure when he saw me coming through the foyer of his elementary school, he honestly thought his entire world was about to collapse.

I passed through the foyer and entered the office. I could see my poor son huddled in the corner… the felon awaiting his fate. Even though the first thing that went through my mind was, "What has he done this time," all of that passed when I made eye contact with him. The weight of his eyes seemed so heavy that it was as if holding up his own chin was impossible. I immediately felt so much pity for him. “The poor kid,” I thought. “When is he going to catch a break?”

I was subsequently approached by one of the after school teachers, whose appearance led me to believe that she had been crying. “Great”, I thought, “this is going to be bad.”

She approached me immediately. "Mr. Mathys, your son and a couple of his friends got into a very serious argument during a game they were playing in the gym. We had to bring them to the office to separate them."

"Okay," I said, thinking that this was obviously the best thing for everyone. Give all the kids a chance to cool off. I asked, "Did he hit anyone else or something like that?"

"No," she answered. "But..." She paused for a bit, appearing to me to be searching for the right way to tell me something.

And then... there it was. Tears.

"What in the world did he do?" I asked, frustrated.

At this point she was weeping as if her cat had been run over by a bus. "He told his little friends that angels aren't real. Then they started yelling at one another," she said, her voice crackling. "One of his friends said that they were yelling at him because he said that God isn't real either."

There was so much heartache, so much anguish, and so much emotion spilling out of this woman; all over the angry arguments of a seven year-old child.

I immediately became upset and a little angry with her emotional display. As politely as I could muster, I asked his teacher if we could move our conversation into the nurse's office since it appeared that the entire office had filled with other parents who found themselves helplessly eavesdropping on our conversation. (Seriously, who could blame them?)

I closed the door, and as gently as I could, reminded his teacher that my son is a seven year-old child. I do not expect him to have come to any definite conclusions about the existence of angels, or god, or anything else that she obviously held dear. And neither should she.

I then asked her if she cried when the other kids involved were picked up by their parents. She told me the truth, explaining that what the other boys said wasn't as upsetting to her as what my son had said. Of course, that's when I had to take a deep breath and keep myself from blowing a fuse. I made it clear to her that I thought it was inappropriate for her to be bawling like this. It sent the wrong message to my son, and I won't have it.

She nodded her head, and told me, “I am sorry. I’m just very emotional and sometimes it boils over.” I accepted her apology and opened the door. She and I left the nurse’s office without saying much else. I checked my son out of school and made my way home.

I presented this situation because I believe it is a unique circumstance of a child being bullied with religion using two different methods. The first is obvious: direct confrontation between classmates where a larger group of kids converges on an individual. The second type of bullying, however, is not nearly as obvious.

My wife and I didn't pursue the confrontational bulling since we felt the after school teachers handled it appropriately. The religious boys were explicitly told that at their elementary school, it is unacceptable for one group of kids to harass another child, no matter how he or she might be different from the rest. All of them were told that no bullying, whatsoever, will be tolerated. (My thanks goes out to the school administration and the after school teachers for staying consistent.)

This brings us to the second type of bullying in this situation: psychological bullying. Whether she realized it or not, her repetitive tears and emotional outbursts made my son feel as if he had done something wrong by stating his viewpoint. She put him into a situation where he had to sit in an invisible cage and watch her weep over what he said. He knew it was wrong to make another person cry, so of course he blamed himself for disappointing her. Not to mention his maturity level was nowhere near ready to deal with this kind of emotional pressure. Furthermore, a child should be able to say something as innocuous as, “There are no such things as angels,” or, “I don’t believe in god,” without his world crumbling from beneath him. I wonder… would she have reacted the same way had my son argued with his counterparts that there was no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny?

To me, this is a perfect example how adults can easily manipulate the mind of a child. That constant display of grief, while he sat alone in a corner, was putting direct psychological pressure on my seven year-old son. She was quietly and cruelly manipulating him into believing that what he said was far worse than any of the other boys. Quite simply, it was an adult bullying a child.

So, after digesting and analyzing my scenario, I suppose my final question in this scenario is this: Could I have prepared myself to be able to handle his teacher any differently?

I suppose my initial response to that question is... of course! I honestly believe that I can (and should) always learn something from my experiences. This, in turn, makes it unavoidable for me to second-guess my initial reactions to people, especially situations like this where I feel like I lecture another person. When an uncomfortable confrontation arises and I regret that I got that frustrated with someone else, it's sensible for me to conclude that I probably could have been more prepared for this situation.

For example, when I saw his teacher crying, I was completely caught off guard with how deeply the words of a seven year-old would affect an adult. I never would have dreamed that his words could have caused an adult that much anguish. Perhaps I should have. If I was better prepared for this kind of reaction, I'm quite sure I wouldn't have reacted with such barefaced frustration. I probably wouldn’t have asked her if she cried around the other parents because now that I have time to look back on the confrontation like an adult, what she said to the other parents is really none of my concern. A far better solution to this confrontation would have been to politely remind her that there are kids of all faiths in this elementary school, as well as some with no faith. And I’m sure she would agree that each and every one of them deserves the same love and respect that they would grant to a child of Christian parents.

Even though I do not blame my son or the other two boys that were involved in this incident, I do approach this as an opportunity to learn from my actions and also so that someone else might be better prepared if a similar situation arises with his or her child. Now that I have the luxury of hindsight, my advice for couples with young schoolchildren is to get yourself prepared for the inevitable confrontation. Children hear, and process, far more than most people would ever imagine, and in time the topics that you discuss with your spouse or significant other will most assuredly dance across the lips of your child. (And boy, did mine came far, far earlier than I would have ever guessed.)

NEXT: For They Know Not What They Do

A Renewed Focus on Bullying

2012-04-15T21:13:00.002-05:00

On a typical morning a few days ago, my adorable 10 year-old niece approached my brother and his wife with something they never thought they would hear from her. "I hate my life," she said.

Thinking that it was nothing more than a 10 year-old being overdramatic about her upcoming school day, my brother and his wife decided that it was best to stay calm, but make absolutely sure that she told them why she would say such a thing. As I'm sure any parent understands, this kind of statement is something that cannot be easily dismissed. So, after a few minutes of prying, they finally got her to tell them what was troubling her so much.

Frustrated and angry, she told them, "There is a group of boys that makes fun of me because I'm not a Christian." She paused, and said, "They told me I was going to hell."

I cannot be alone here when I say that this type of behavior seems rather abnormal for children of a mere 9 or 10 years. It makes absolutely no sense to me that these kids would be acting out with such fervent, religious conviction without some type of coaching from adults. Pointing a condescending finger at another person and proclaiming that they are going to hell, at this age, cannot be anything but learned behavior. Furthermore, we are talking about children in the fourth grade here, which in my mind suggests that these boys are nothing but a prototypical psychological window into their developmental surroundings. Seriously, nobody in their right mind would say that kids are born with the idea of an afterlife, much less with the threat of an afterlife filled with eternal torture and suffering. These boys were purposefully and maliciously taught to treat kids of other religions, or no religion, with hatred and cruelty.

All that analysis aside, I'm sure you can imagine how difficult it was for my brother and his wife to endure listening to their beautiful baby girl struggle with the toll of psychological bullying in the name of a particular religion. An event such as this would make any parent completely nauseated. I know I was.

Now, I should switch gears for a moment and admit that unlike many of my friends, I have the exceedingly good fortune of being related to very positive people. That statement goes for just about everyone in my family, too, not just the ones I see frequently. Also, I am extraordinarily lucky to be so close to my brother and his family, especially my niece and my nephew. I absolutely adore those two kids. It seems that each time I wave goodbye to them as they pull away in their van headed back to their home in Arkansas, I already miss all of them. As a matter of fact, when their visits are over, I can't help but think how fortunate I am to be able to spend time with such a wonderful group of people.

Which is why it hurts me so deeply when I hear how cruel other kids can be to my niece.

The most troubling part of this whole situation is that more than likely, this group of boys knows nothing more than simplistic anecdotes of their parent's religion. Yet at a mere 9 and 10 years-old, they are already boldly segregating themselves and hoisting each other up as superior to others. Of course, I cannot say with certainty where these boys learned this contemptuous behavior, but judging by the opinions I have read about public school systems from religious fundamentalists, I have a very, very strong hunch where it's coming from.

But this topic is not meant to point fingers at their parents or their church, because I don't think fussing about religiously aggressive kids is very productive, and it does nothing to address the problem at hand. It also feels a touch passive aggressive, and that really bugs me since I don't want to set that kind of example for my children. Instead, what I'd like to do is cover a set of suggestions, based on my own experience (and my immediate family's experience), for the secular and non-religious families that have children going to school with religious bullies.

Just to be clear, these topics will not cover extreme situations like those of Jessica Alquist or David Fowler. These two teens showed exceptional courage in the face of real threats of violence. These situations are far beyond the scope of my experience, and the only advice I could offer is this: if you or a family member is in this type of situation, let the professionals help you. Don't hesitate; grab your phone and immediately call the police, then call the Freedom From Religion Foundation. Threats of violence to you, violence to a family member, rape, and murder should not be taken lightly, and the FFRF has lawyers ready to assist you at a moments notice.

What I will do, however, is spend several days covering different situations as well as provide suggestions from my experiences as a secular, atheist parent. I plan on covering cases of verbal bullying (or confrontational bullying, like the situation my niece was put through), indirect bullying (lying or starting rumors), psychological bullying (playing on fears or other emotional states), and intimidation.

Please note: I initially intended this topic to be presented on my blog as one post. But after working a few days on this project, I decided that due to the length of my essay, it would be better to break it up into several posts. Hopefully this will help alleviate the annoyance of endless vertical scrolling, without detracting from my desire of raising everyone's awareness of this growing and disturbing trend of bullying in the name of Christianity.

I'll update this post with links to the subsequent posts as they are published. So stay tuned...

NEXT: Tell Him His Fault, Between You and Him Alone