We took the kids to Maplewood Farm. It is part of Vancouver Parks and the kids absolutely loved it. We’ve taken them before but the last time we went was their first time visiting out of the str0ller. If you have only one child I would imagine that it is easy to let a toddler roam around but with two toddlers it is impossible for a single adult to wrangle two kids running off in different directions. I arranged for us to go on a weekend when my husband could join us.

It was a rainy Vancouver day so I packed the kids’ rainsuits. We got them bundled up and they were happy to be let loose. Once we were inside it was just a matter of following the rainsuited child that was mine to watch. It was so nice to just have to watch one kid! I cannot explain how much energy goes into trying to supervise two kids, but I think it would be similar to trying to watch two tennis matches at the same time.

My husband followed one and I followed the other. I got to watch my daughter pet a baby goat. It was so sweet to see how gentle she was with it. She seemed to understand that she needed to be gentle. I saw my son chase ducks and chickens that stayed *just* out of his reach. We watched the pigs sleep and sat and pet the enormous bunnies.

We let the kids roam. It was bittersweet, it was awesome because I knew they were having a blast and I also felt sad because roaming isn’t something they get to do nearly often enough. We made our rounds to say goodbye to the animals and loaded our exhausted kids into the car. It wasn’t long until they were both asleep.

For days after both kids talked about their trip to the farm. There was lots of farm play and both kids asked to go back. Writing this reminds me that I need to make time to take them again. It just goes to show that it isn’t the big things, it is the tiny things that matter.

This post was inspired by a fabulous idea I saw in a tweet from Gwen Bell!

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Our kids used to be great eaters. As a matter of fact, I was very smug about it. The kids started eating solids at around 7 months (I think, I’m not really sure. That first year is hard to recall). Try as I might they did not like baby food. They wanted what we were eating so that is what we did. We’d offer them whatever we were eating, no special meals. Butter chicken to pesto pizza, they ate it.

Until recently that is. In the last two months the kids have become quite picky eaters. Well, my son will say that he doesn’t like it but he will usually at least taste it. My daughter will excitedly climb into her highchair and upon taking a quick look at what has been lovingly prepared for her will announce “I don’t like dat!”

It is maddening! For the last two nights she has turned her nose up at what is being served for dinner. We always have something on the table that she will eat. Tonight is was a biscuit, she mostly just crumbled it. Last night it was tomatoes. We always offer the kids yogurt after supper so I guess she ate that too.

What really bothers me is when she refuses to eat dinner and then as we are clearing the table she will announce that she is hungry! I’m not sure if this is just her way of exerting her own will or if perhaps her growth rate is slowing down? All I know is that it is driving me nuts. I try not to make too big a deal about it because I want to avoid this becoming a power struggle. Feeding and sleeping are two things that I have no control over. I get set the stage and be encouraging but I cannot make them do it.

How do you deal with picky eaters? Leave me a comment or point me to one of your posts where you’ve written about this. I’m going to have to reread “How to get your kid to eat but not too much”.

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It is hard to watch a conversation flow and feel that it is ok to jump in. If I were at a cocktail party and I jumped into a conversation it would probably grind to a halt. I know that to get to know people I need to jump in but sometimes I’m not sure how people will react so I hold back. Blerg!

I’m not sure how to wrap this up. This has been on my mind quite a bit lately and I thought that writing about it might help but I feel extremely self conscious and I’m temped to just delete this.

So does anyone else think that “awkward” looks wrong? I know that if you say a word too many times it starts to sound weird but awkward just looks awkward!

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I hate how panicky I feel after watching a scary movie; I cower in bed when the house creaks. The closet door needs to be shut because y0u know that there are monsters in there just waiting to leap out and get me. I know it is years away, but what am I going to do when my kids want to watch scary movies?

My co-workers gathered around to interrogate me. They couldn’t believe that I refuse to pay good money to scare myself silly. “What about zombie movies?” That was when they all got rather excited. They insisted that I need to see Zombieland! “It’s funny/scary!” “Yes, it’s mostly a comedy!”

I asked my co-worker why she liked zombie movies and she said because they are usually just kind of silly; except for that one where the zombies could run, that one freaked her out.

From there the conversation moved on to ghosts and I thought it would be funny to suggest that there could be a movie about ghost zombies, the dead undead, that would be funny! They could fly and float through walls. Once they caught you instead of just eating your brains, they’d eat your soul too! Only they’re ghosts so would they even be able to eat brains? Hmm, I think I need to think this through more before I write the movie script.

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One thing that came up is that I want to learn Italian. I bought a program to use before we left for Italy to get married. I used the program for a few weeks before we left but after we got back I never used it again.

It is time to dust off the disks and start using it again because I think picking this up again is the right thing to do. When I was in first year of college I wanted to study languages and maybe it is time to explore that.

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I sat there for about 30 minutes feeling anxious wondering why my grandfather was calling me. My dad called me back to tell me that my grandfather was just fine. He was calling from his cellphone and didn’t have his hearing aid in so he couldn’t hear me. He wanted to ask me if I wanted my grandmother’s china. I was relieved and surprised. The only thing of my grandmother’s that I asked for and received was a token ceramic figurine that I have fond memories of, it is the shape of a dog and my grandmother would use it to rest her glasses on. It now sits at my desk at work and I use it everyday. I’ve been very careful to not ask for anything else.

It surprised me that I was being offered my grandmother’s china. I am the only granddaughter and my children are the only great grandchildren so I guess it makes sense that I would be asked first. It just never occured to me to ask for it. As a matter of fact I could not even remember what the set looked like. Try as I might I could not summon an image of it. The only set I could remember was an anniversary set my grandmother received for their 50 wedding anniversary and there is no way I’d be offered that.

Last week my dad dropped off the china set and I took a peek. It is a fairly basic pattern, cream and blue with gold trim. I’d be proud to have it on my table. The only thing that pains me is that it will have to be hand-washed due to the gold trim. We don’t have much in the way of stuff that must be hand-washed. The same goes for clothes that must be dry cleaned or ironed for that matter.

I now own an 8 piece set of china that will be relegated to special occasions. We don’t live like that. I need to have stuff that we can use everyday. If this needs to be packed away then I will never use it and it will sit unused gathering dusk in our crawl space. My mom wants me to keep it and pass it on to the Smoochie; but that will be decades from now!

What do you do with sentimental items that you don’t feel comfortable using. We are trying so hard to pare down what we have to items that we love and use everyday so keeping this china for Christmas doesn’t jive with how we want to live. Tell me, what you have done with stuff you have inherited?

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I remember struggling to find my way. Thrashing and fighting and it didn’t really help. Waves washed over me and I’d splutter and cough. I did not scream for help because I’m stubborn and I thought I could find my own way to the shore, but I was overwhelmed and the undertow pulled me further and further away.

I got tired of fighting so I switched to treading water so I could catch my breath. It helped for a while but even treading water is tiring so I decided to float instead.

It feels like I’ve been floating, adrift forever. I move with the currents but make no real progress. I figured I’d eventually wash ashore but I can’t even see land. I’m cold and disoriented and I close my eyes and a wave crashes over my head. I’m underwater trying to figure out which way is up. I fight to right myself but exhaustion and numbness are powerful. I begin to lose hope.

A beacon flashes in the dark. I can hear my name being called. I know that I have to start moving again but I am so tired. Why is saving myself so hard?

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The speech therapist seems to understand him and his situation a bit better. He is one of the youngest patients she’s worked with so she’s having to adapt her method. I was reluctant when we first met her months ago because she was recommending that I stop teaching him signs. I didn’t see why I would take his only form of communication away from him. I still don’t want to take it away. It is just easier to sign because he will readily use signs to tell me what he wants but if I attempt to get him to speak then we go around and around with him pointing to various things and he gets upset when I don’t know what he wants.

As part of my homework with him I’m to try to get him to use his voice more often and to do that we are going to basic sounds, like mmm, dd, bb, ah, oh, eh, etc. If I start he will copy me as long as his sister doesn’t jump in. If I ask him what a dog sounds like and his sister answers he just doesn’t see the point in answering too. I totally get that but I just want to hear Dude try. This is one of the challenges of having twins. It is really highlighted when one if advanced and the other one is delayed. At least they aren’t identical because it would be even more tempting to make comparisons.

Because I knew that we were going to start up speech therapy again I started ramping up practicing with him. The husband and I have also made it a priority to give the kids one on one time with us at least once a week. It sounds so pitiful to see that in writing that they only get individualized attention once a week but I guess all parents with more than one kids struggle with that.

Mama and Dada are the two words that Dude says that I think any stranger would recognize. For the longest time he would only say them when I prompted him to use his voice. The husband would be upstairs and Dude would stand at the bottom gate signing Dad and “calling” him in a wordless way. I’d remind him that his daddy couldn’t see him signing and that if he used his voice then daddy would respond. Only then would he call Dada.

The other day I came home and Dude saw me sneak in the door. He ran over with a look of delight on his face as he cried Mama. I can hardly describe the joy I felt hearing my son call for me unprompted.

We sat today with the speech therapist and it quickly became obvious that for whatever reason Dude wasn’t interested in playing any of her games. She commented on how last week he was quite talkative and it felt like magic and this week, well, not so much.

I’m as on-board with his speech therapy as I’m going to get. I am concerned about the level of his speech delay. I believe that I am doing the best thing by taking him for therapy. I just know that he will speak when he is good and ready. There are a number of kids that for whatever reason decide that speech just isn’t for them and then one day they just start talking. It will take time. For now he doles out words at a miserly rate. Now that I’ve heard him say my name I know that it will happen; on his terms and that is fine with me.

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1. do you know what I mean?
2. out of the mouths of babes
3. more new words

I’m not sure if it’s the weather but I’ve been slipping into a very dark place. Not just pulling up my hoodie and plugging into my iPod to listen to sad music (how much more emo can I get?) but withdrawing from just about everything.

I’m sad and angry. Oh, the angry. I’ve been losing my temper so often the effect is completely lost on the kids. I need to find a way to deal with anger other than balling it up and stuff it deep down because I’m all filled up with the angry. I can’t feel anything else without having to shove the angry out of the way.

If I can’t find a way to deal with my emotions as they happen instead of pushing then aside to deal with them later; how am I going to teach my kids how to deal? This parenting gig is showing me over and over again that I have baggage that I thought was resolved but no, it is still there waiting to be dealt with.

So what does this mean? Hell if I know. I tried hiding and that hasn’t worked so perhaps it is time to face the facts and start to figure out what *is* going to make me happy and do that instead. And for right now, writing is making me feel just a little bit better so I’ll take that.

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As they grew older they’d go through growth spurts, either physical or emotional and I’d tell my husband that I’d had it and that we were moving them out. He’d support me and ask me to formulate a plan and then he’d help. We’d get through the spurt and the kids would settle back to an acceptable sleeping pattern.

We are at the tail end of another growth spurt that has been particularly difficult. That coupled with the fact that they will sleep for longer stretches if I’m not in the room made the decision to move them into their own room easier. Another huge deciding factor is that I want to sleep with my husband again!

Let me explain. We had two queen size mattresses on the floor in our room. I slept on one mattress with the kids and my husband slept on the other. There were times when one of the kids would go cuddle with him but for the most part they slept next to me. I’ve come to realize that I haven’t been making my husband a priority and I think that sleeping next to him is a pretty big step in the right direction.

The kids have always had a room but they had never slept in it. I’m not sure what I’d envisioned. We had always intended that they would sleep in our room as newborns but we never had a plan for moving them out. Their room had a crib in it for a while. It came in handy for holding clothes and toys for the babies! We tried the crib for a while once the babies got too big to sleep side-by-side in the co-sleeper attached to our bed. I’d lay our son down in the crib and he’d immediately start squawking. It didn’t matter how long I rocked him as soon as his head touched the mattress he’d complain.

The transition went smoother than I expected. The first night we had been out and the kids fell asleep in the car so I slept in their room with them. The next night we went upstairs and ushered them into their “new room!” and had new stuffed animals there to greet them. For the next few days they were quite excited and they talked about their room often.

It has been almost two weeks now and my daughter now sleeps through the night!!! and my son sleeps a six or seven hour stretch. I think we lucked out with timing it right and really, I think that the kids were ready and able to handle it. Plus, the husband and I actually sleep together again! At this rate, we’re going to actually have to start using birth control again!

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1. a plan for night weaning
2. Torture by sleep deprivation