Raising Godly Children

Raising our Boys to be Real Men

2013-05-19T05:13:00.000-07:00

How do we raise our boys to be real men? From what little I have read there seems to be a consensus among evangelicals that the idea of manhood has been all but lost in our society today. It has no real meaning. Consequently, we don’t know what it means to be a real man and sadly the church is not much different. There is a lack of masculinity in our culture as men have become passive, irresponsible and downright wimpy. So the problem is clear, but how do we fix it? How do we raise our boys to be real men?
I’m concerned that in an effort to raise our boys to be real men, we have swung the pendulum too far and forgotten our goal is not for them to be like Superman, but to be like the Godman-our Savior, . Perhaps an illustration would help.

You see it quite often where a little boy scrapes up his knee and his daddy quickly tells him, “Get up, son. You’re fine. Rub some dirt on it. Be a man!” Now being brave and being strong isn’t wrong. It’s a good thing. We don’t want our boys to be sissies! After all, Jesus was strong. Mark Driscoll says it best:

Jesus was a dude. Like my drywaller dad, he was a worker who swung a hammer for a living. Because Jesus worked in a day when there were no power tools, he likely had calluses on his hands and muscles on his frame, and did not look like so many of the drag-queen Jesus images that portray him with long, flowing, feathered hair, , and soft skin (Vintage Jesus, 31)

Yes, Jesus was a real man. He was a hard-working carpenter. He offended lots of people. He even made a whip of cords and drove out the money-changers in the temple. Yes, Jesus was (and is) a real man. But is this the full picture of Jesus? And is this the full picture of what it means to be a man?

As I took a cursory look at the Gospels, I saw a picture of Jesus that may not seem very “manly” in our culture today, but nevertheless must be taught and modeled to our boys if we want them to be real men–men like Jesus.

Jesus was humble and gentle (Mt. 11:29)
Jesus was compassionate (Mt. 9:36, 15:32)
Jesus was dependent on his Father (Mt. 24:42)
Jesus cried (John 11:35, Isa. 53:3)l)
Jesus was a servant (John 13, Phil. 2:7)
Jesus hugged children (Mt. 19:13-15)
Jesus loved his mother (John 19:26-27)
Jesus needed the fellowship of others (Mk. 14:32-33)

Jesus is the man we want our boys to be like. So if Jesus is humble and gentle, than I want my son to be humble and gentle. If Jesus is compassionate on others, even willing to cry for others, than I want my son to feel free to do the same. And I want him to know that being a real man is not having to choose between being brave and strong and gentle and meek. It’s both, because Jesus is both. After all, he is the lion-like lamb and the lamb-like lion. He is tough and tender. And he is safe and strong.

So, instead of being so concerned about whether my boy grows up to be brave and strong like Superman, I want my boy to be like Jesus. He may not be your typical “man’s man” but hopefully he’ll be a real man.
Written by Doug Wolter - Visit Website

How Young is Too Young? Children and Baptism

2013-05-18T05:59:00.000-07:00

Image Credit

Here at Grace Community Church, we are firmly committed to

believers’ baptism — meaning that we do not see Scriptural precedent for the baptism of unbelievers, including infants. (We would agree with John Piper that if our covenantal brethren applied their reformed view of baptism/circumcision consistently, they too would abandon the practice of infant baptism. But that’s for another post. Those who want to think through the baptism issue are encouraged to listen to this debate, between John MacArthur and R.C. Sproul.)

As baptists, our church continually faces the question reflected in the title of this post: How old must a child be before he or she is ready to be baptized? This very question was asked in the comments section a couple days back, and it is an important one.

The Bible does not put an age requirement on baptism. But it does describe water baptism as a post-conversion act of identification with Christ. In Acts 2:38, Peter emphasized repentance as a corollary to baptism. In verse 41 of that same chapter, Luke records that it was “those who had received his word” that were baptized. Acts 16:34 indicates that the Philippian Jailer’s household believed before they were baptized. Colossians 2:11-12, 1 Peter 3:18-21, and other passages associate baptism with saving faith; and even the order of the Great Commission puts “making disciples” before “baptizing them” (Matt. 28:19).

Thus, without putting an age-requirement on baptism, the Bible indicates that a person must understand the gospel, repent of his or her sin, and savingly trust in Christ before being baptized. If water baptism is an external sign of genuine conversion, then genuine conversion must take place first.

At what point, then, is a child capable of understanding the gospel, repenting from sin, and savingly trusting in Christ? Again, Scripture gives no specific age limit. In our experience, however, we have found that most children do not really begin to objectively evaluate their own thoughts until they reach junior high. Before then, they usually feel little concern over the contradictory values to which they cling. Seldom during elementary years do they conscientiously think about and spiritually evaluate life’s demands independently of their parents.

This does not mean that all young children are incapable of committing the rest of their lives to Christ and being indwelt by the Holy Spirit. However, prior to adolescence, few children truly appreciate the significance of their separation from God, and few have sufficient mental sophistication to project far enough into the future to commit “the rest of their lives” to anything.

Although we do baptize eleven or twelve year olds from time to time at Grace Church, our children’s pastor spends enough time in conversation with them beforehand to settle any doubts he may have in two areas: (1) has the child actually rejected a worldly set of values in making his commitment to Christ? (2) can he project far enough into the future to make a lifelong commitment?

If these issues are resolved, we proceed to evaluate whether or not the child has an understanding of salvation by grace apart from works, and we seek verification from others that he or she demonstrates the fruit of the Spirit in everyday life. We believe a child who can meet these qualifications is ready to identify with Christ and His church through believer’s baptism.

The temptation for many parents is to rush their child’s baptism. Our elders here at Grace Church believe it is better to wait, and be absolutely convinced of a child’s conversion, than to baptize the child prematurely — and thereby potentially give an unsaved child a false sense of assurance.

Article from Pulpit Magazine

Should We Talk to Our Kids About Abortion

2013-05-18T05:58:00.001-07:00

To some, abortion seems like an adult topic that is simply not suitable for kids. Is it possible, though, that kids can learn the facts and arguments they need in order to think clearly about abortion when the topic finally confronts them?

Find my answer in my short January update, entitled, "Is Anyone Too Young?" (Part I of a two-part series).

Article from Take Your Vitamin Z

Having The Talk: Educating Your Children About Sex

2013-05-18T05:58:00.000-07:00

Parents are finding that their children know a startling amount of information about sex from a very young age. A recent study published by Pediatrics suggests that conversations about sex between parents and children needs to happen much sooner. By the time conversations happen, children have experienced far more sex talk than their parents would have ever imagined. How early should parents explain sex to their children? How detailed should they be? As Dr. Mohler notes on today’s program, this is not an unintentional conversation parents have at random with their children. This is a conversation that should be thought out and prepared with biblical wisdom and concern. Christian parents must be prepared to do far more than talk to their children about sex: they must teach about sex, marriage and God’s will for faithful relationships. Audio from Albert Molher found Here.

What are some common temptations parents and families face? (7 Common Problems)

2013-05-17T03:44:00.000-07:00

What are some common temptations parents and families
face?

Sunday morning struggles. It seems that Satan often comes into our homes on Sunday mornings in order to make the Lord's Day a day of struggle. So pray, rise early, and be patient.

Pressure from other people (other church members,
Christian grandparents, etc.) to baptize your children. Resist such outward pressure. Instead, look for and test for a credible profession of faith in your child (Prov. 22:15).

Threats to the parents’ authority and the family’s unity. Satan is a divider and always attacks authority. In your home, fight for unity around the gospel.

For mothers, the “I-can-do-it-all superwoman” mindset. This is at best a myth and at worst a lie from hell (Matt. 6:24, Luke 10:40-41).

Sporting events on Sundays. Decide while your children are young that you will not allow the growing all-weekend sports phenomenon to usurp your worship.

The Christian bubble. Arming your children for the world doesn’t necessarily mean shielding them from it. Consider getting your high-school-aged children out of the Christian bubble.

Leaving discipleship to the church and Sunday school. The Bible charges parents to train their children in the discipline and nurture of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). This is not a responsibility they can simply farm out to the church. Article from 9Marks

Is Personality Hereditary?

2013-05-16T03:27:00.000-07:00

This is an interesting question; a question that anyone with multiple children has grappled with. How can my children so instinctively respond just like me or my spouse? But on the other hand, how can two children from the same parents be so different?

One set of anecdotal observations says personality must be genetic – the level of commonality seems too great to be explained solely by environmental influence. But another set of anecdotal observations seems to say the opposite – if two children share so much genetic code in common, how could their personalities take on such contrasts?

In a recent sent of lectures I was listening to from a leading neuro-psychologist,[1] he said that research estimates that 50% of the extroversion-introversion personality trait was determined by genetics.[2] The other 50% was determined by factors such as home stability, birth order, early socialization experiences, etc…

On face value that’s not shocking. In the age-old nature vs. nurture debate that is about what we would expect; half of our personality is inherited, the other half is learned or molded. But it was the next two statistics that he gave from the same research that caused me to pause.

According to the research he reviewed, he said that:

60% of whether you are politically conservative or liberal was genetically determined and
70% of whether you marry and the quality of your marriage was genetically determined.

A quick word about his research; from what I could tell, his scientific work was excellent. He referenced meta-analysis studies not single study published research findings. There is a big difference in the quality between the two. Meta-analysis (in layman’s terms) average out the findings of hundreds of studies on a subject. A single published study is trying to find something interesting/significant enough to get published.

All of this to say, I am not questioning the quality of his work. To whatever degree that the hereditability of personality traits or life outcomes can be predicted scientifically, I trust the style of work Dr. Leary was doing. In addition to this, he is highly esteemed by his peers (not just popular media outlets, who tend to prefer the more eye-catching, yet-to-be-verified studies).

So what do we make of the 50% genetically determined personality statistic now? I think most of us would say it’s less impressive than we thought when we read it initially.

For the moment let’s assume all of the statistics are correct (I do not have the credentials or expertise to debate his methods). Let me frame two questions that help us assess what we do with the 50% hereditability of personality statistics.

How much weight do you give the 40% of non-genetic factors in your political leanings?
How much weight do you give the 30% non-genetic factors in the quality of your marriage?

My guess is most readers would say, “A great deal of weight.” As a hard-working father, I probably only get to share 30% of the waking hours with my two boys. But I believe those hours carry as much weigh/influence as (probably more than) almost anything else in their life.

I believe, if these numbers are true, we should think the same way about the choice-factors in our personality. If God knit us together in our mother’s womb (Ps. 139:13) and has plans for us to accomplish for His glory (Eph. 2:1), then why would be surprised that God began preparing us for those good works genetically from the moment of our conception.

As an important side note on this subject, I believe we must be careful not to place a good-bad distinction on the extrovert-introvert spectrum (or any other personality variable for that matter). Thinking of certain personality traits as good-bad, leads us to accept a can-can’t mentality on the basis of personality.

As a quick personal example, I am a pretty intense introvert. For a long time I assumed this meant I could not be a leader, public speaker, or (at times) even a good Christian husband. I mistook this personality trait for a limitation on my other gifts and abilities. Similarly, I mistook a relational role (leader) for a personality type (extrovert). Now I am comfortable being an introverted leader and husband.

So what should our take away from this reflection be? I would propose it should be the following three points:

If 50% of my personality is genetic… (I can trust that God designed these elements of my personality to coincide with His purposed for my life),
… then there is still 50% of my personality over which I have influence… (I should expect that I will frequently be called by God to do things that are uncomfortable to my natural bent and trust Him to give me whatever I need to accomplish these tasks),
AND 100% of my personality can express itself in whatever ways necessary to accomplish whatever God lays out for my life.

Article from Biblical Counseling Coalition

Dealing with Grumbllng

2013-05-15T03:30:00.000-07:00

“Do all things without murmurings and disputings” (Philippians 2:14).

Children grumble. So did the Israelites.

Children (and parents) who grumble are grumbling against the Lord.

Sometimes, like the Israelites as they faced the Red Sea with the Egyptians at their backs, our children grumble because they are afraid. We can challenge them with our questions and instruction:

“What are you afraid of?”

“Is God strong enough to take care of that?”

“What has God done for you in the past?”

“Let’s pray and ask God to help us trust Him.”

Sometimes they grumble because they’re impatient, like the Israelites who weren’t getting water fast enough to relieve their thirst.

“What do you need that God is not able to provide for you?”

“Does God love you? Will He take care of you?”

“Do we love you? Will we help take care of you? Did we take care of you yesterday and the day before that?”

“Does God want you to learn to wait?”

“Can you ‘close your lips’ and wait quietly while we get what you need?”

“Let’s pray for God to help you be patient.”

Sometimes our children grumble because they just don’t like what we have given them. Like the Israelites who were tired of manna, our children often ungratefully complain about the food put before them, or which park we took them to, or which story we are reading to them. They want something else instead of what they have been given.

“Who has given this to you?”

“Are you being thankful if you complain?”

“Are you going to be thankful for this, or would you rather not have anything?”

“Can you say thank you?”

“Let’s stop and thank God for this, too.”

Sometimes they grumble because they don’t trust God to lead through us,like the Israelites when they stood at the threshold of the Promised Land and panicked at the report of those who had returned from spying out the land. They were ready to choose new leaders and go back to Egypt!

“Who made us your daddy and mommy?”

“Who is in charge of us?

“Who are we supposed to obey?”

“Who are you supposed to obey?”

“What do Daddy and Mommy have to do if you choose not to obey us?”

“Let’s pray that Daddy and Mommy will obey God, and that you will obey us.”

When our children grumble, they are really grumbling against God.Moses recognized this when the Israelites continually complained to him. We must remember the same thing when our children grumble and complain.

“…The Lord hears your grumblings which you grumble against Him. And what are we? Your grumblings are not against us but against the Lord” (Exodus 16:8). They are not really grumbling against us, but they are grumbling against the God who made them and takes care of them. Our job is to help them be thankful.

Article from DoorPosts

(Photo from Shutterstock)

When Your Child Isn’t Doing Well In The Lord

2013-05-14T04:03:00.000-07:00

There are few trials so tough on a parent as having a child who is not doing well with the Lord whether that child is young, a teen or grown.

When a child rejects the Lord and/or his parents, it’s grieving, sad, stressful, and a constant weight upon a parent’s heart. A couple suggestions:

Continue to love your child unconditionally– don’t make your acceptance and love for your child based upon whether they love Jesus or you
Continue to try to model Jesus Christ to your child
We should be more grieved that our child does not see the glory of Jesus than we are by their sin.

Not only can God save a child whenever he desires, but he can use the challenge of a rebellious child to produce good fruit in a parent’s life. Here are a few ways:

It humbles us
It help us rely on God not methods
It exposes our own sin – anger, pride, fear of man, looking down on or judging others
It makes us more compassionate and merciful
It stretches our faith
It teaches us to do good to those who sin against us expecting nothing in return
It drives us to seek God in prayer – for our child’s salvation, for wisdom, for grace
It produces patience, perseverance and long-suffering
It gives us an infinitesimal taste of what we’ve done to Christ and what God experiences every day from mankind
It reminds us of our own past sins against our parents
It reminds us that only God can save

Don’t stop thanking God for your child and praying for him or her. Remember, the prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective, even if it doesn’t feel that powerful or effective. And the arm of the Lord is not too short to save – he has a perfect timing for every person.

ARTICLE FROM THE BLAZING CENTER

Blessing Your Children- What does it Mean?

2013-05-13T04:22:00.000-07:00

Jacob provides the most descriptive example in Scripture of a father blessing his children (see Heb. 11:21). Nearing death, he gathered his family together and blessed each of his sons and also his grandsons who were fathered by Joseph. In this time, men would bless others by prophesying over them concerning future blessings. This could include praying to God on behalf of the person being blessed.

Most of the time, the future blessing was given in regard to past behavior. Often, a faithful son received a promising blessing. An ungodly son received a dreadful blessing.

When a father gathered the family together to pronounce blessings, both positive and negative moments were relived. In the case of Jacob, he reminded Reuben of his sexual immorality and Simeon and Levi of their violent anger (see Gen. 49:3-4, 5-7). He praised Joseph for his fruitfulness and steadiness (see Genesis 49:22-24). With such verbal blessings, a gift of land was often distributed. The weight of these blessings was felt deeply because the prophecy surpassed the son's life, on to his descendants.

While biblical prophecy occasionally ventured into set days or events, the prophets usually presented messages similar to those a parent would deliver to a child. "If you continue to do this, your future will look like . . ." "If you don't stop, I'm going to have to discipline you." Prophecy usually addressed the natural progression of a person or people concerning their obedience or disobedience.

Apply that to Jacob's blessing, and we understand more clearly. Simeon was a violent man. Jacob discerned that in his son and prophesied that violence was in Simeon's future (see v. 7). From Jacob's example, we learn that fathers are to bless children with appropriate words and gifts.

Appropriate words

Blessing a child with appropriate words means telling the truth. "Whoever speaks the truth declares what is right, but a false witness, deceit" (Prov. 12:17). Fathers are not to enable children for continual disobedience.

If your children are walking down a path that leads to destruction, the best blessing you can give them is to tell them of looming danger. Conversely, if your children are walking faithfully in the Lord tell them of the great joy they give you (see Prov. 10:1).

Appropriate gifts

Jacob played favorites with his sons. While his extreme favoritism with Joseph caused family drama (see Gen. 37:3-4), Jacob still resolved to give gifts of land to his sons in a way he deemed appropriate. Normally, the more trustworthy the son, the more generous the gift. Jacob had experienced so much of God's gracious provision that he did not want to see it thrown away by unreliable sons.

The blessing on Jesus

The idea of a father's blessing is not as prominent in the New Testament due to the church's functioning as the people of God. In these pages the best example of a father blessing his son is evident in Jesus' baptism.

Within the pages of Scripture, biblical blessings happened at pivotal moments (near a father's death, baptism, etc.). God chose to bless His Son at a pivotal time. Coinciding with His inauguration into ministry, Jesus traveled to the Jordan River so John the Baptist, His cousin, could baptize Him (see Matt. 3:13). "After Jesus was baptized, He went up immediately from the water. The heavens suddenly opened for Him, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming down on Him. And there came a voice from heaven: This is My beloved Son. I take delight in Him!" (Matt. 3:16-17). At the transfiguration, the disciples heard the Father say, "This is My beloved Son. I take delight in Him. Listen to Him!" (Matt. 17:5).

Through the Father's words, we see how a father should bless his child in three specific ways.

Acceptance - The Father wanted listeners to know that Jesus was His Son. Fathers show their acceptance by addressing children according to who they really are, not who they desire them to be.

Adoration - God had no problem telling the world that He adored Jesus. As a beloved Son, Jesus knew that His Father was crazy about Him and didn't care who knew it. Fathers should express the type of love that treasures their children and delights in them.

Approval - Not only did God tell people that He accepted and adored Jesus, He also wanted all to know that He approved of Him. He told the disciples to listen to what His Son had to say. When a father tells a child that he is good at something and everyone should know and benefit from it, few compliments in this life will ever surpass this one.

Article from Lifeway

Charles Spurgeon- Mothers

2013-05-12T05:44:00.001-07:00

O dear mothers, you have a very sacred trust reposed in you

by God! He hath in effect said to you, “Take this child and nurse it for Me, and I will give thee thy wages.” You are called to equip the future man of God, that he may be thoroughly furnished unto every good work. If God spares you, you may live to hear that pretty boy speak to thousands, and you will have the sweet reflection in your heart that the quiet teachings of the nursery led the man to love his God and serve Him.

Those who think that a woman detained at home by her little family is doing nothing, think the reverse of what is true. Scarcely can the godly mother quit her home for a place of worship; but dream not that she is lost to the work of the church; far from it, she is doing the best possible service for her Lord.

Mothers, the godly training of your offspring is your first and most pressing duty. Christian women, by teaching children the Holy Scriptures, are as much fulfilling their part for the Lord, as Moses in judging Israel, or Solomon in building the temple.

The Nucleus of Civilization

2013-05-12T05:29:00.000-07:00

According to the Bible, God himself ordained the family as the basic building block of human society, because He deemed it "not good that man should be alone" (Genesis 2:18). That verse stands out starkly in the biblical creation narrative, because as Scripture describes the successive days of the creation week, the text punctuates each stage of creation with the words, "God saw that it was good" (Genesis 1:4, 10, 12, 18, 21, 25, italics added). The goodness of creation emerges as the main theme of Genesis 1, and the statement "God saw that it was good" is repeated again and again, like the refrain after each stanza of a lengthy song. Then finally, after the sixth day of creation, we're told with emphasis, "God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good" (italics added).

But then Genesis 2:18 takes us back to the end of day six and reveals that just before God ended His creative work, just one thing was left that was "not good." Every aspect of the entire universe was finished. Each galaxy, star, planet, rock, grain of sand, and tiny molecule was in place. All the species of living things had been created. Adam had already given "names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field" (v. 20). But there was still one glaring unfinished aspect of creation: "For Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him" (v. 20). Adam was alone, and in need of a suitable mate. Therefore God's final act of creation on day six--the crowning step that made everything in the universe perfect--was accomplished by the forming of Eve from Adam's rib. Then "He brought her to the man" (Genesis 2:22).

By that act, God established the family for all time. The Genesis narrative says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (v. 24). Jesus quoted that verse inMatthew 19:5 to underscore the sanctity and permanence of marriage as an institution. The same verse is quoted practically every time two believers are united in a Christian marriage ceremony. It is a reminder that marriage and the family are ordained by God and therefore sacred in His sight.

So it is no mere accident of history that family relationships have always been the very nucleus of all human civilization. According to Scripture, that is precisely the way God designed it to be. And therefore, if the family crumbles as an institution, all of civilization will ultimately crumble along with it.

Over the past few generations, we have seen that destructive process taking place before our eyes. It seems contemporary secular society has declared war on the family. Casual sex is expected. Divorce is epidemic. Marriage itself is in decline, as multitudes of men and women have decided it's preferable to live together without making a covenant or formally constituting a family. Abortion is a worldwide plague. Juvenile delinquency is rampant, and many parents have deliberately abandoned their roles of authority in the family. On the other hand, child abuse in many forms is escalating. Modern and postmodern philosophies have attacked the traditional roles of men and women within the family. Special interest groups and even government agencies seem bent on the dissolution of the traditional family, advocating the normalization of homosexuality, same-sex "marriage," and (in some cultures nowadays) sterilization programs. Divorce has been made easy, tax laws penalize marriage, and government welfare rewards childbirth outside of wedlock. All those trends (and many more like them) are direct attacks on the sanctity of the family.

These days whenever families are portrayed in films, television dramas, or sitcoms, they are almost always caricatured as grossly dysfunctional. Someone recently pointed out that the only television "family" who regularly attend church together are "The Simpsons"--and they are cartoon exaggerations deliberately saddled with the worst imaginable traits, designed mainly to mock and malign both church and family. It's no joke, though. A relentless parade of similarly dysfunctional assortments of people assaults us on television and in the movies. Hollywood has defined a broad new meaning for the word family.

Meanwhile, traditional nuclear families with a strong, reliable father and a mother whose priorities are in the home have been banished from popular culture, made to feel as if they were the caricature.

Although many Christian leaders have been passionately voicing concerns about the dissolution of the family for decades, things have grown steadily worse, not better, in society at large. Secular social commentators have lately begun to claim that the traditional nuclear family is no longer even "realistic." An article published not long ago by the on-line magazine Salon said this: "The 'ideal' American family--a father and a mother, bound to each other by legal marriage, raising children bound to them by biology--is a stubborn relic, a national symbol that has yet to be retired as threadbare and somewhat unrealistic." [1] The nuclear family simply won't work in 21st-century society, according to many of these self-styled "experts."

I know those voices are wrong, however, because I have witnessed literally thousands of parents in our church who have put into practice what the Bible teaches about the family, and they and their families have been greatly blessed for it.

As society continues its mad quest to eliminate the family, and as our whole culture therefore unravels more and more, it becomes more important than ever for Christians to understand what the Bible teaches about the family, and to put it into practice in our homes. It may well be that the example we set before the world through strong homes and healthy families will in the long run be one of the most powerful, attractive, and living proofs that when the Bible speaks, it speaks with the authority of the God who created us--and whose design for the family is perfect.

[1] . Amy Benfer, "The nuclear family takes a hit" (7 Jun 2001), Salon.com.

-John McArthur

Article from Grace to You

Proverbs Family Devotional Guide

2013-05-11T05:38:00.000-07:00

Proverbs’ Instruction for Parents: Proverbs are “rules of thumb” for living a life of faith in God’s world. In chapters 1-9 of this book, Solomon addresses the “son” and encourages him to listen to the “rules of thumb” his father and mother teach him, because this instruction will prove to be a great prize (1:8-9). Parents, especially fathers, should not ignore the emphasis in this book on their role in teaching their kids. Parents are the primary educators of their children in Proverbs, and that role should not be neglected.

Topics to Talk About With Your Kids: Teaching must have a goal. Modern educational theory sees knowledge (cognitive skills), attitudes (affective skills), and abilities (psychomotor skills) as the goals of teaching. In Proverbs, the goal of teaching is (1) Faith, (2) Character, and (3) Wise Living.

Faith

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight” Proverbs 9:10—We must cultivate in our children a reverence for God and a personal knowledge of how He works rather than a sense of their own personal achievement.

Conversation Starters: Instead of asking your child, “What did you do/learn today at school,” ask, “Where did you see God working today? How did he show you His beauty? His love? For what do you need his direction? His forgiveness?”

“My son, if you accept my words and treasure up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.” Proverbs 2:1-5—We should not just seek passive acceptance of ’s teaching, but rather an active desire by children to seek wisdom for themselves.

Conversation Starters: Ask your child, “What is most important to you? If you had one thousand dollars to spend on anything you want, how would you spend it? Where does God rank next to these things? What is it about God that makes him more valuable than things money can buy?” Be prepared to answer these questions yourself.

Character
“Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse. Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.” Proverbs 9:7-9—Proverbs focuses on the inner person. Two virtues admired in this book are a teachable spirit (Proverbs 3:11; 9:7) and the treasuring of justice (Proverbs 2:6-9; 6:12-19;
8:5-9).

Conversation Starters: Ask your child, “Are you quick to be critical even when you know nothing about the subject being taught? Do you seek the advice of wiser Christians before you make important decisions? Do you find out what the Bible says about the subject? Does it bother you when you are treated unfairly? Does it bother you when others are treated unjustly but you are blessed? Do you feel when others are hurting? When you consider the injustice in the world, do you long for Christ to come and repair it?”

Wise Living
“[These proverbs are] for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young—let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance—for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise.” Proverbs 1:2-6—Proverbs are written so that the young and simple can acquire wisdom, discretion, guidance, and sound judgment.

Conversation Starters: Ask your child, “Do you typically learn from your mistakes or by listening and receiving counsel from older and wiser men and women? Do you think first or speak first? What do you dream about? Would God consider your dreams to be pure and virtuous? What would you watch on TV if your mom and dad weren’t around? Would God be pleased? Have you ever gotten in trouble because of something you said? Is there anything you’ve said today that you regret saying? Are others encouraged or discouraged by your words? Would you say that your words are “life-giving” or do they destroy and kill? Do others succeed in God’s eyes when they follow your advice? Do you regularly obey God even when it is not popular? Do you think too highly of yourself? Are you aware of any sin in your life? Do you regularly pray for God’s forgiveness and grace to help you live wisely?”

Article from SoJourn Kids

Bibliography:
Tim Chester. “On Answering a Fool: Making Sense of the Book of Proverbs.” http://beginningwithmoses.org
Daniel J. Estes. Hear, My Son: Teaching and Learning in Proverbs 1-9. Eerdmans, 1997.
Ian Fry. “God-Centered Teaching.” Children’s Desiring God Conference, 2009.

5 Things a Daughter Needs to Hear from Her Dad

2013-05-10T03:34:00.001-07:00

I’m a father of four beautiful children, three of whom are girls. My oldest daughter is eight years old and with each passing year since her birth, I’ve become more conservative when it comes to all things that pertain to my girls. I’m not a gun enthusiast, but I could be if it meant standing at the porch waiting for the first guy who dares to ask one of my daughters on a date.

Seriously though, I love having daughters. There is something about having a daughter that softens a man, adds a certain tenderness to his soul. In that spirit, I’d like to share five things every daughter needs to hear from her father:

1) You are beautiful and you are loved. This is something you should tell your daughter at least once a day and probably more than that. Telling her once every so often doesn’t cut it. I’m no psychologist, but daughters who know their father loves them grow up with more confidence and tend to avoid looking for love in all the wrong places. Hearing she is beautiful is oxygen for your daughter’s soul. So do it often, in different and creative ways.

2) Your mother is beautiful and she is loved. The best gift you can give your daughter is to show her how a man treats a woman. Let her see modeled in you, however imperfectly, the God-given love between a man and a woman. Tell your wife daily that she is beautiful, that you love her, and that you are glad you married her. Tell her you are committed to her for life. And say these things, periodically, in front of your children.

3) You belong to God and were created for his glory. Girls frequently battles insecurity over a number of issues: their weight, their looks, their friends. Maybe sometimes they feel unimportant or unwanted, even in a home with love. This is why you, as a father, should remind them often that they are special creations formed lovingly by the Creator in His image. You should read with them the words of David, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made,” from Psalm 139. That passage should be well-worn in your Bible and something internalized by your daughters for moments of doubt.

4) You are forgiven. Your girls will mess up. They will sin. They will disappoint you. And if you don’t have the good news of the gospel at the center of your family, she may grow up wondering how to measure up or what to do with her sins. Evangelize your daughter and then disciple her. Train in her in the vital Christian practice of repentance and forgiveness. Repentance for her sin and forgiveness of others’ sins. Let her know that Christ is always ready with fresh supplies of grace. Let her know that she must that grace not only to herself, but toward others who will wound her.

5) You are accepted. Whatever you do, don’t let your daughter consume the poison of the culture which measures a woman’s worth by her independence, by her ability to give away freely her purity. Don’t for a moment let her swallow the lie that sexual license is anything but a bondage of the worst kind, the enemy’s way of stealing the creativity and beauty and purpose for which she was created. Teach her what to look for in a man (hint: not the slackers you see on TV). Also: be that man so she knows what it looks like. Make her aware of the beautiful image of womanhood painted by the Creator. Her acceptance, her sense of self, her worth are bound up in her unique calling as God’s daughter.

Article from Daniel Darling Blog

What To Do When Your Kids Fall Asleep During Devotions

2013-05-09T03:36:00.001-07:00

Dark, light, more dark. Gravity is exercising its mighty pull upon my weak eyelids. I’m falling, swimming. Now I’m dreaming. Sleep curls its soft fingers around me, warming me, calling me…“Stephen!” My eyes snap open and struggle to focus on something, anything. What is that blurry thing across from me? Did someone tape my eyelids closed during the night? Why do they feel so heavy? My body and I have a slight disagreement over whether or not I should actually move. My body wins the argument, and I continue to lay motionless.

“Stephen, I want you to sit up when I read the Bible to you. This is really important.” The blurry object takes shape, becoming a familiar figure. I raise my head slightly. “Dad, I can listen just as well lying down as I can sitting up.” “No you can’t, you’re falling asleep.” “I’m not falling asleep Dad, I’m wide awake. See, look.” I squeeze my eyes shut and then open them as wide as possible, trying to prove that I am indeed awake. With my eyes bulging from my head, I look like some sort of zombie. “Okay, you can lie down, but I want you to look at me. If I see your eyes closing then I’m going to make you sit up.”

I relax again, allowing my body to melt back into the couch. Both of my younger brothers are sprawled out on the floor beneath me, like dead men littering a battlefield, and my sister, who is always semi-comatose in the morning, is draped across a chair. I’m fully alert for approximately seven seconds before sleep makes another full-scale assault, this time threatening bodily harm if I don’t give in to its demands. Dad begins to go out of focus as I lose control of my eyes, and a yawn begins banging around in my mouth in a desperate effort to escape. This is bad. A yawn will attract Dad’s attention and he’ll see that I’m falling asleep. For a few moments I’m able to keep my mouth closed and continue my descent into the land of darkness, but soon I can contain myself no longer. The yawn slithers out of my mouth, instantly alerting my dad to the fact that I’m on the verge of falling asleep.

“Stephen, you’re falling asleep. I want you to sit up now.” “Dad, I’m not falling asleep,” I say, wiping drool from the corner of my mouth. “And sitting up is so uncomfortable.” “Stephen, this is God’s word. This is the most important book in the world. It’s my job as your dad to teach you about the Lord, and I’m not going to argue about this anymore. Now sit up.”

With considerable effort I manage to raise my body into the upright position. From the look on my face, you would think that I was being forced to walk across hot coals or put venomous snakes down my shirt. Clearly I’m upset at what I perceive to be a great injustice. Nevertheless, I sit up and my dad continues to read Scripture to us as if nothing happened. Dad is very familiar with these minor disturbances. This scene has been acted out many times before and will happen again many times.

But Dad doesn’t let our resistance stop him from teaching us God’s word. He doesn’t let our sinful lack of interest in the Bible discourage him from fulfilling his role as a father. Rather, he faithfully instructs us in the ways of the Lord day after day, teaching us to live in a way that pleases and honors God. My dad’s efforts were not in vain. The Lord used his faithful instruction to stir up godly desires in my heart – desires for salvation, holiness, heavenly rewards, and most importantly, God Himself. Through my dad’s faithful proclamation of the gospel, regular family devotions, creative presentation of scripture, diligent discipline, and generosity with books, he led me into a deep and fruitful relationship with the Lord.
–
From My Friend, My Hero, My Dad: The Extraordinary Influence of an Ordinary Man

Why I Don't Comment On The Appearance Of Girls: Part 1

2013-05-08T03:38:00.001-07:00

I recently came out and explained why I don't hug girls in a few of posts, on a similar note, I'll explain why I don't comment on the appearance of girls.

Some may see these policies as cold or uncaring, but on the contrary, I have these policies out of respect and what I hope is love. I'm not saying people are wrong if they act differently than me on these particular matters...just that I personally would not do what they do, and here is why.

Clarification: By saying, “I don't comment on the appearance of girls,” I mean I don't say if I think a girl is attractive or unattractive, certainly not to her face, and not to others if I don't have to. In fact, I try not to even think to myself whether I think a girl is

attractive or not.

Anyway, getting to the point of this article, I try not to comment on the appearance of girls. This policy of mine was recently challenged by a very well-intentioned sister in the faith. I think she made some very good points, and she inspired me to give a more in-depth defense for this particular policy of mine.

I have been told, and personally observed, that girls want to be pretty. When a girl changes her profile picture on facebook, her other female friends are right on top of it, telling her how beautiful she is. Of course, being told you are pretty by members of your own gender only goes so far. Girls want guys to find them pretty. If girls do not think themselves pretty, this can lead to all kinds of emotional and psychological issues, or so I've been told. It is for this reason, that I have been advised to reassure my female friends that they are pretty.

I think telling girls they are pretty is not the solution to the emotional and psychological problems girls face today. I disagree that my telling a girl she is pretty is good for the girl (or me), which I will be addressing in upcoming posts.

In the meantime, a few questions for you:

Do you really believe that the internal is more important than the external? How do your actions support your belief?

Have you ever admired the physical appearance of someone in the opposite gender? Are your thoughts always wholesome and good for the other person? Or are they more focused on yourself?

How many people have you told outside your family that you find them good-looking or attractive?

Is it good for a guy friend to tell female friend that he finds her physically attractive? Is it good for a girl to tell a male friend that she thinks he's physically attractive?

Article from Reagan Ramm Blog (teen Christian writer)

Click here for part 2

An open letter to pastors {A non-mom speaks about Mother’s Day}

2013-05-06T20:08:00.004-07:00

PLEASE see the updated version of this post at An open letter to pastors {a non-mom speaks on Mother’s Day} at The Messy Middle

It includes resources for pastors and a chance to sign up for my quarterly newsletter. Please do not subscribe on this page but at The Messy Middle. I didn’t realize this page was still active … but with over 40,000 hits today, I’m glad to be wrong! Thanks for stopping by. Amy

Dear Pastor,

Tone can be tricky in writing. Picture me popping my head in your office door, smiling and asking if we could talk for five minutes. I’m sipping on my diet coke as I sit down.

You know that I’m not one to shy away from speaking my mind, part of the reason you love me (mostly!), so I’m guessing that internally you brace yourself wondering what might be next.

I set my can down and this is what I’d say.

A few years ago I sat across from a woman who told me she doesn’t go to church on Mother’s Day because it is too hurtful. I’m not a mother, but I had never seen the day as hurtful. She had been married, had numerous miscarriages, divorced and was beyond child bearing years. It was like salt in mostly healed wounds to go to church on that day. This made me sad, but I understood.

Fast forward several years to Mother’s Day. A pastor asked all mothers to stand. On my immediate right, my mother stood and on my immediate left, a dear friend stood. I, a woman in her late 30s, sat. I don’t know how others saw me, but I felt dehumanized, gutted as a woman. Real women stood, empty shells sat. I do not normally feel this way. I do not like feeling this way. I want no woman to ever feel this way in church again.

Last year a friend from the States happened to visit on Mother’s Day and again the pastor (a different one) asked all mothers to stand. As a mother, she stood and I whispered to her, “I can’t take it, I’m standing.” She knows I’m not a mother yet she understood my standing / lie.

Here’s the thing, I believe we can honor mothers without alienating others. I want women to feel welcome, appreciated, seen, and needed here in our little neck of the body of Christ.

Do away with the standing. You mean well, but it’s just awkward. Does the woman who had a miscarriage stand? Does the mom whose children ran away stand? Does the single woman who is pregnant stand? A.w.k.w.a.r.d.

2. Acknowledge the wide continuum of mothering.

To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss this year through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.

3. Commend mothering for the ways it reflects the Imago Dei (Image of God) by bringing forth new life, nurturing those on her path, and living with the tension of providing both freedom and a safety net.

I know I might be an unusual one to be speaking about Mother’s Day; but maybe that’s why so many talk to me about mothering, I’ve got the parts, just not the goods. Thanks for listening and for continuing to mother us in a shepherding way. Even though I’m a bit nervous to come on Sunday, I will be here. But if you make us stand, I might just walk out =).

Warmly and in your corner,

Amy (Messy Middle Blog)

How Sex is Effecting the Teenage Brain

2013-05-06T03:23:00.000-07:00

Many of today’s teens are having sex by appointment. It can be devoid of relationship or even guilt. It is called “buddy sex” or “friends with benefits.” For many of you reading this it is not news to you, but what is it doing to the teenage brain?

What you may not be aware of is the fact that your church’s youth group may be arecruiting ground for this behavior. It may be hard to accept; but, you would be naïve to think that your garden variety Bible quiz winner couldn’t be involved in this kind of activity also.

Our sex-saturated cultural influence on the church and teens has made it frightfully easy for this generation to unblushingly raise their hands in worship on Sunday morning only to be fornicating in the church’s parking lot Sunday night. A Postmodern worldview now permeates, not only today’s American culture; but, it has seeped in and contaminated the church as well. Today’s kids are experts at compartmentalizing, not only their lives, but their faith and theology as well.

Postmodern thought has taught us that if it feels good it must be right. Remember Debbie Boone’s one hit wonder? In her song “You Light Up My Life” she sang, “it can’t be wrong if it feels so right.” Our kids have taken objective truth and discarded it for the subjectivity of their feelings. But, brain science has now helped us understand that this is long term disaster. Chemicals such as oxytocin in females and vasopressin in males are values-neutral chemicals that are released when intimate touch takes place between two people. It creates a bond of sorts. But, the buddy-sex phenomenon is contributing to the inability to bond after multiple sex encounters. It is almost like tape that loses its stickiness after being applied and removed multiple times.

This type of promiscuous sex is causing brains to mold and form so that they eventually begin accepting these sexual patterns as normal. As Dr. Joe Mcllhaney and Dr. Freda Bush write in their book titled “Hooked, New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children” – they state “for most people this brain pattern seems to interfere with the development of the neurological circuits necessary for the long-term relationships that for most people result in stable marriages and family development. The pattern of changing sex partners therefore seems to damage their ability to bond in a committed relationship.”

Consequently, we are creating a generation of moral Frankenstein’s and relational midgets who go from sex partner to sex partner. With every illicit sexual encounter kids engage in, they are losing their ability more and more to enjoy what God has created them to enjoy in a way that bonds a man and his wife together as one till death do they part.

Article from Shepherd Hills Academy

The Nature, Warrant, and History of Family Worship

2013-05-05T07:15:00.000-07:00

J . W. Alexander (1804-1859): eldest son of Archibald Alexander, the first professor of Princeton Theological Seminary. Attended both Princeton College and Princeton Seminary, later teaching at both institutions. His first love, however, was the pastorate, and he labored in churches in Virginia, New Jersey, and New York until his death in 1859.

FAMILY worship, as the name imports, is the joint worship rendered to God, by all the members of one household. There is an irresistible impulse to pray for those whom we love; and not only to pray for them, but with them. There is a natural as well as a gracious prompting to pray with those who are near to us. Prayer is a social exercise. The prayer which our Lord taught His disciples bears this stamp on every petition. It is this principle which leads to the united devotions of church assemblies and which immediately manifests itself in Christian families.

If there were but two human beings upon earth, they would be drawn, if they were of sanctified hearts, to pray with one another. Here we have the fountain of domestic worship. Time was, when there were but two human beings upon earth; and we may feel assured that they offered adoration in common. This was the Family Worship of Paradise.

That religion should specially pertain to the domestic relation is not at all wonderful.[1] The family is the oldest of human societies: it is as old as the creation of the race. Men were not drawn together into families by a voluntary determination or social compact according to the absurd figment of infidels: they were created in families.

It is not our purpose to make any ingenious[2] efforts to force into our service the history of the Old Testament or to search for Family Worship in every age of the world. That it has existed in every age, we do not doubt; that the Old Testament was intended to communicate this fact is not so clear. But without any indulgence of fancy, we cannot fail to discern the principle of Family Worship appearing and reappearing as a familiar thing in the remotest periods.

While all the church of God was in the ark, the worship was plainly Family Worship. And after the subsiding of the waters, when “Noah builded an altar unto the Lord,” it was a family sacrifice which he offered (Gen 8:20). The patriarchs seem to have left a record of their social worship at every encampment. As soon as we find Abraham in the Promised Land, we find him rearing an altar in the plain of Moreh (Gen. 12:7). The same thing occurs in the vale between Hai and Bethel. Isaac not only renews the fountains which his father had opened, but keeps up his devotions, building an altar at Beersheba (Gen. 26:25). Jacob’s altar at Bethel was eminently a family monument and was signalized by his saying on the way “unto his household, and to all that were with him, Put away the strange gods that are among you” (Gen. 35:1, 2). The altar was named EL-BETH-EL. This descent of religious rites in the family line was in correspondence with that declaration of Jehovah respecting the family religion which should prevail in Abraham’s house (Gen. 18:19). The service of Job in behalf of his children was a perpetual service: he “sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all; thus did Job continually,” or as it is in the Hebrew, “all the days” (Job 1:5). The book of Deuteronomy is full of family religion, as an example of which we may specially note the sixth chapter. The Passover, as we shall observe more fully in the sequel, was a family rite.

Everywhere in the Old Testament good men take cognizance[3] of the domestic tie in their religion. Joshua, even at the risk of being left with none but his family, will adhere to God: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15). David, after public services at the tabernacle where “he blessed the people in the name of the Lord,” returns “to bless his household” (2 Sam. 6:20). He had learned to connect God’s service with domestic bonds in the house of his father Jesse, where there was “a yearly sacrifice for all the family” (1 Sam. 20:6). And in the predictions of penitential[4] humbling, which shall take place when God pours on the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the spirit of grace and of supplications, the suitableness of such exercises to families, as such, is not overlooked: ?The land shall mourn, every family apart; the family of David apart, and their wives apart; the family of Nathan apart, and their wives apart; the family of Levi apart, and their wives apart; the family of Shimei apart, and their wives apart; all the families that remain, apart, and their wives apart? (Zech. 12:12-14).

In the New Testament, the traces of family religion are not less obvious. We gladly borrow the animated language of Mr. Hamilton of London and ask: “Do you envy Cornelius, whose prayers were heard, and to whom the Lord sent a special messenger to teach him the way of salvation?” He was a ‘devout man, one who feared God with all his house, and prayed to God always,’ and who was so anxious for the salvation of his family, that he got together his kinsmen and near friends, that they might be ready to hear the apostle when he arrived and share with himself the benefit (Acts 10:2, 24, 31). Do you admire Aquila and Priscilla, Paul’s ‘helpers in Christ Jesus,’ and who were so skilful in the Scriptures, that they were able to teach a young minister the way of God more perfectly? You will find that one reason for their familiarity with the Scriptures was that they had a ‘church in their house’? (Acts 18:26; Rom. 16:5). It was doubtless recognized in regard to spiritual as well as in regard to temporal things, that “if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own household, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1 Tim. 5:3). That spirit of social prayer which led disciples to join in supplication or praise, in upper chambers, in prisons, in the stocks, and on the sea beach could not but have manifested itself in daily household devotion (Acts 1:13; 16:25; Gal. 4:12; 2 Tim. 1:3).

Our records of primitive Christianity are so much distorted and corrupted by a superstitious tradition, that we need not be surprised to find a simple and spiritual service such as this, thrown into the shade by sacerdotal[5] rites. Yet we discern enough to teach us, that believers of the first ages were not neglectful of Family Worship.

“In general,” says Neander[6] in a work not published among us, “They followed the Jews, in observing the three seasons of day, nine, twelve, and three o’clock, as special hours of prayer; yet they did not use these in a legal manner, such as militated against Christian liberty”; for Tertullian[7] says, in regard to times of prayer, ‘nothing is prescribed, except that we may pray at every hour, and in every place.’ The Christians began and closed the day with prayer. Before meals, before the bath, they prayed, for as Tertullian says, the ‘ refreshment and nourishment of the soul must precede the refreshment and nourishment of the body; the heavenly before the earthly.’ When a Christian from abroad, after brotherly reception and hospitality in the house of a brother Christian, took his leave, he was dismissed from the Christian family with prayer, ‘Because,’ said they, ‘In thy brother thou hast beheld thy Lord.’ For every affair of ordinary life they made preparation by prayer.”

To this we may add the statements of a learned man, who has made Christian antiquities his peculiar study: Instead of consuming their leisure hours in vacant idleness, or deriving their chief amusement from boisterous[8] merriment, the recital of tales of superstition, or the chanting of the profane songs of the heathen, they passed their hours of repose in rational and enlivening pursuits; found pleasure in enlarging their religious knowledge, and entertainment in songs that were dedicated to the praise of God. These formed their pastime in private, and their favorite recreations at their family and friendly meetings. With their minds full of the inspiring influence of these, they returned with fresh ardor to their scenes of toil; and to gratify their taste for a renewal of these, they longed for release from labor, far more than to appease their appetite with the provisions of the table. Young women sitting at the distaff[9] and matrons going about the duties of the household, were constantly humming some spiritual airs.

And Jerome[10] relates, of the place where he lived, that one could not go into the field without hearing the ploughman at his hallelujahs, the mower at his hymns, and the vinedresser singing the Psalms of David. It was not merely at noon and in time of their meals that the primitive Christians read the word of God, and sang praises to His name. At an early hour in the morning, the family were assembled, when a portion of Scripture was read from the Old Testament, which was followed by a hymn and a prayer, in which thanks were offered up to the Almighty for preserving them during the silent watches of the night, and for His goodness in permitting them to meet in health of body and soundness of mind; and at the same time His grace was implored to defend them amid the dangers and temptations of the day, to make them faithful to every duty and enable them in all respects to walk worthy of their Christian vocation. In the evening before retiring to rest, the family again assembled, when the same form of worship was observed as in the morning with this difference: that the service was considerably protracted beyond the period which could conveniently be allotted to it in the commencement of the day. Besides all these observances, they were in the habit of rising at midnight, to engage in prayer and the singing of psalms, a practice of venerable[11] antiquity, and which, as Dr. Cave justly supposes, took its origin from the first times of persecution, when not daring to meet together in the day, they were forced to keep their religious assemblies in the night.[12]

When we come down to the revival of evangelical piety at the Reformation, we find ourselves in the midst of such a stream of authority and example that we must content ourselves with general statements. Whatever may be the practice of their degenerate sons, the early Reformers are universally known to have set great value on family devotion. The prayers of Luther in his house are recorded with warmth by his coevals[13] and biographers. The churches of Germany, in a better day, were blessed with a wide prevalence of household piety. Similar facts are recorded of Switzerland, France, and Holland.

But in no country has the light of the dwelling burned more brightly than in Scotland. Family Worship in all its fullness was coeval with the first reformation period. Probably no land in proportion to its inhabitants ever had so many praying families; probably none has so many now. In 1647, the General Assembly[14] issued a Directory for Family Worship in which they speak as follows:

?The ordinary duties comprehended under the exercise of piety, which should be in families, when they are convened to that effect, are these: First, Prayer, and praises performed, with a special reference, as well to the condition of the Kirk[15] of God, and this kingdom, as to the present state of the family, and every member thereof. Next, reading of the Scriptures, with catechizing in a plain way, that the understandings of the simpler may be the better enabled to profit under the public ordinances, and they made more capable to understand the Scriptures when they are read: together with godly conferences tending to the edification of all the members in the most holy faith: as also, admonition and rebuke, upon just reasons, from those who have authority in the family. The head of the family is to take care that none of the family withdraw himself from any part of Family Worship; and seeing the ordinary performance of all the parts of Family Worship belongeth properly to the head of the family, the minister is to stir up such as are lazy, and train up such as are weak, to a fitness for these exercises.? “So many as can conceive prayer, ought to make use of that gift of God; albeit, those who are rude[16] and weaker may begin at a set form of prayer; but so that they be not sluggish in stirring up in themselves (according to their daily necessities) the spirit of prayer, which is given to all the children of God in some measure: to which effect, they ought to be more fervent and frequent in secret prayer to God, for enabling of their hearts to conceive, and their tongues to express, convenient desires to God, for their family.? “These exercises ought to be performed in great sincerity, without delay, laying aside all exercises of worldly business or hindrances, notwithstanding the mockings of atheists and profane men; in respect of the great mercies of God to this land, and of His corrections, whereby lately He hath exercised us. And to this effect, persons of eminency, and all elders of the kirk, not only ought to stir up themselves and families to diligence herein, but also to concur effectually, that in all other families, where they have power and charge, the said exercises be conscionably performed.”

The faithfulness of private Christians in regard to this duty was made matter of inquiry by church courts. By the Act of Assembly, 1596, ratified December 17-18, 1638, among other provisions for the visitation of churches by presbyteries, the following questions were proposed to the heads of families:

“Do the elders visit the families within the quarter and bounds assigned to each of them? Are they careful to have the worship of God set up in the families of their bounds? The minister also is directed in his pastoral visits, to ask, ‘Whether God be worshipped in the family, by prayers, praises, and reading of the Scriptures? Concerning the behavior of servants towards God and toward s man; if they attend family and public worship? If there be catechizing in the family?”[17]

When the Confession of Faith of the Westminster Assembly of Divines was adopted by the Church of Scotland, it contained this provision, which is still valid among ourselves: “God is to be worshipped every where, in spirit and in truth; as in private families daily, and in secret each one by himself.”[18]

In conformity with these principles, the practice of Family Worship became universal throughout the Presbyterian body in Scotland and among all the Dissenters[19] in England. In Scotland especially, the humblest persons in the remotest cottages, honored God by daily praise; and nothing is more characteristic of the people at this day. I have sometimes seen Family Worship in great houses,” says Mr. Hamilton, “but I have felt that God was quite as near when I knelt with a praying family on the earthen floor of their cottage. I have known of Family Worship among the reapers in a barn. It used to be common in the fishing boats upon the friths[20] and lakes of Scotland. I have heard of its being observed in the depths of a coal pit.” The fathers of New England, having drunk into the same spirit, left the same legacy to their sons.

It is highly honorable to Family Worship, as a spiritual service, that it languishes and goes into decay in times when error and worldliness make inroads upon the church. This has been remarkably the case among some of the Protestant communities of the continent of Europe. As a general statement, it must be said that Family Worship is not so extensively practiced there; and of course, it cannot be so highly prized as in the churches of Great Britain and America. This is true even when the comparison is made between those in the respective countries whose attachment to the gospel appears to be the same. There are many, especially in France and Switzerland, who as highly value and as regularly maintain the daily worship of God as any of their brethren in England or the United States; but they constitute exceptions to the above statement, rather than any refutation of it. Christian travelers observe, however, that better views on this subject, as on the observance of the Sabbath, are decidedly on the increase in France and Switzerland and probably to a certain extent in Germany and other countries on the Continent. This is to be attributed to the translation of many excellent works from the English into French and their circulation in those countries within the last few years.

From what has been said, it is manifest that the universal voice of the Church, in its best periods, has been in favor of Family Worship. The reason of this has also become apparent. It is a service due to God in regard to His bountiful and gracious relation to families as such, rendered necessary by the wants, temptations, dangers, and sins of the family state; and in the highest degree fit and right, from the facilities afforded for maintaining it by the very condition of every household.

Taken in part from Thoughts on Family Worship, reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria.

ENDNOTES:

1 wonderful: strange; astonishing.

2 ingenious: inventive skill and imagination.

3 cognizance: recognition; conscious knowledge.

4 penitential: expressing sorrow for sin.

5 sacerdotal: pertaining to priests or priesthood; a reference to Romanism.

6 Johann August Wilhem Neander (1789-1850): German church historian and theologian. Born a Jew, David Mendel, he was converted to Protestantism and took the name Neander (Greek for:new man?). Wrote the 6 volume General History of the Christian Religion and the Church.

7 Tertullian: (ca. 155-220) early Latin father of the church. Born a pagan, converted, finally left Roman Catholicism for Montanism. Coined the term:trinity.?

8 boisterous: loud, noisy, and lacking restraint.

9 distaff: a rod on which a fiber, for example, wool or flax, is wound for somebody to use when spinning by hand, or the corresponding rod on a spinning wheel.

10 Jerome (ca. 347-419): Biblical scholar and translator of the Latin translation of Scripture known as the Vulgate.

11 venerable: deserving honor and respect.

12 The Antiquities of the Christian Church, Lyman Coleman, 2nd edition, p. 375.

13 coevals: contemporaries.

14 General Assembly: the supreme court of the Church of Scotland (as of some other Presbyterian Churches), combining judicial, legislative and administrative functions.

15 Kirk: Scottish form of church, derived ultimately from the NT Greek adjective kuriakos, of the Lord.

16 rude: ignorant; untaught.

17 Recited in: Overtures of General Assembly, A.D. 1705, concerning the method of proceeding in Kirk-Sessions and Presbyteries.?

18 Confession of Faith, Ch 21, para. 6

19 Dissenters: persons who refuse to accept the authority of, or conform to, the laws of an established church. The term Dissenters was commonly used in 17th-century England, especially after passage of the Toleration Act in 1689, to denote groups who separated from the Church of England.

20 friths: a narrow inlet of the sea.

Article from A Puritan's Mind

The Benefits of Memorizing Scripture

2013-05-04T05:51:00.000-07:00

I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might
not sin against you. ~ Ps. 119:11, ESV

Consider the benefits of Bible memorization:

Helps to renew your mind and change your thought life, establishing permanent change in your entire manner of life and conduct (Joshua 1:8; Psalm 1:2-3).
Follows the example of the Lord Jesus Christ (Matthew 4:1-10).
Equips you to use Scripture in everyday situations (for example: Acts 2:16-21, 25-28; 3:22-23; 13:40-41, 47).
Allows God’s Word to be the foundation of your life (Deuteronomy 6:6-8).
Provides guidance (Psalm 119:24, 105).
Develops confidence in witnessing (Isaiah 55:11).
Establishes a fountain to conquer temptation (for example: Matthew 4:1-10) and to gain victory over sin (Psalm 119:9-11).
Becomes an integral part of your prayer life (for example: Acts 4:24-31).
Enables you to teach, counsel, encourage, and build up others in the Body of Christ (Colossians 3:16).
Provides a basis for meditation On God’s Word (Psalm 119:15-16, 97).
Makes the Word of God readily available for comfort (Psalm 119:52).
Keeps God’s Word ready to refresh or revive (Psalm 119:93).
Provides stability in your spiritual life (Psalm 37:31; 40:8).
Gives you the truth so that, at times of need, you are ready to answer others concerning your source of hope (Proverbs 22:17-21; 1 Peter 3:15).

This material is excerpted from the Biblical Counseling Foundation’s 480 page in depth discipleship manual entitled, SelfConfrontation (1991 edition).

Kind of Guy We Pray Our Daughters Will Marry

2013-05-03T04:08:00.000-07:00

I ran across this list on my computer while trying to write a post this evening. It’s a list we compiled several years ago after a discussion with our girls. We have been praying that each of them will marry a man who is:

A dedicated believer of the same doctrinal persuasion, equipped to lead and teach her and his family

Motivated by a sincere desire to glorify God through his life and the life of his family

Faithful in his church attendance and service in the church

Involved in work and service that would benefit from a wife’s help and support

Well-established in his vocational direction

Financially free

Teachable – seeks counsel, does not isolate himself in decisions, responds humbly to correction and suggestions

A one-woman man – has saved himself for his wife

Sexually discreet – not flirtacious

Self-disciplined

Respected by those who know him and work with him

Responsible – keeps his word and his commitments

Humbly under authority – in home, in church, under civil law

A student of God’s Word, seriously looking to it for guidance in all areas of life.

Committed to homeschooling his children and in leading/participating in the schooling

Committed to providing for his family and allowing his wife to care for the family at home

Honest – does not try to appear to be something he is not, does not misrepresent facts

Does not speak evil of others

Words are supported by his actions

A hard worker

A servant’s heart, supported by action

Strong leadership qualities demonstrated in his life

A man who will lead our daughter and their children in holiness and service

Money saved or vocational training that has fairly certain future

We recognize that our daughters will marry humans, which means they will marrysinners. Their husbands won’t be perfect. They will most likely not meet every “qualification” on this list. That’s OK. Our daughters are sinners, too.

Ultimately, we want our daughters and their husbands to be able to say, “I see your flaws and imperfections, but underneath, I see what God wants to make you. I want to be a part of that.”

Article from DoorPosts

(Photo from Shutterstock.com. Closing paragraph from Speaking the Truth in Love,a sermon on Ephesians 4:15 by Pastor Dennis Tuuri, Reformation Covenant Church)

Jesus Takes The Insanity Out Of Parenting

2013-05-02T03:48:00.000-07:00

I believe it was Albert Einstein who said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I can only assume that he was talking about parenting.

When you read the parenting books it all seems so simple. If you shepherd your child’s heart, and don’t get angry, and get to the heart of the issue, and get them to apologize, your kids will be obedient, godly, and full of good hygiene. It’s a perfect formula.

But it never works out that way. My daughter, Charis, is four, and she has a Jedi black belt (which is one notch above a black belt) in the skill of whining. Jen and I have been working with her on the issue of whining since, like, infinity ago (see Napoleon Dynamite), and I don’t see the issue going away any time soon.

I think I correct Charis for whining at least ten times a day. We

talk about doing all things without grumbling or questioning. We talk about a cheerful heart being like good medicine. We talk about being respectful to mommy and daddy. And yet she still whines. I do the same thing over and over. I expect different results. Sounds like insanity to me.

My dad could say the same thing about our family devotions time when we were growing up. Dad fought the same battle every morning.

–

DAD: Stephen, I want you to sit up and open your eyes when I’m reading. I don’t want you sleeping.

ME: Dad, I’m not sleeping. I can listen better laying down.

DAD: Stephen, drool is leaking out of the corner of your mouth. You’re sleeping. Please sit up!

ME (rolling eyes): Alright. But I really can listen better laying down.

DAD: Okay, what did I just read about?

ME: About Jesus. The Bible. God.

–

To an objective, mostly sane observer, parenting seems like insanity. Same action over and over again. Expecting different results. Why is it not insanity? Because Jesus takes the insanity out of parenting. Galatians 6:9 says -

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

When will we reap the benefits of our work? When will we actually see a different result with our children? When will Charis learn to stop whining? In “due season”. When God takes the truths that Jen and I have been communicating to her and makes them stick. When God, by the power of his Holy Spirit, moves her little heart to do all things without grumbling or questioning. We do the planting, God does the growing, and in due season we see the fruit. Parenting is not insanity because Jesus takes the insanity out of parenting.

My dad didn’t see immediate fruit in me. He faithfully did devotions with us for our entire childhood, but he didn’t really start seeing fruit in me until I was about fourteen years old. But he stuck with it. He didn’t grow weary in doing good. He didn’t let the apparent lack of fruit cause him to give up. He kept doing devotions. He kept pointing me to Jesus. He kept correcting me where necessary. And finally, after a number of years, the Holy Spirit brought all those things together and made them click.

Sometimes the due season is a month. Other times the due season is twenty years. Don’t give up. Parenting feels like insanity but it’s not. Jesus takes the insanity out of parenting.

ARTICLE FROM THE BLAZING CENTER

Lessons to Teach Children About Money

2013-05-01T05:31:00.000-07:00

When raising our kids from cradle to adulthood there are financial components to our parenting journey that are too often overlooked by otherwise very good parents. Matters of handling money are seemingly passed on from generation to generation. Also, parents may get busy, or confused, and do not necessarily know how to teach their children about money.

We’d like to share with you the interview License to Parent with Trace Embry had with guest Chuck Bentley, CEO of Crown Financial Ministries, and host of the radio program My Money Life. During the interview, Chuck gives five valuable lessonson how to teach your children about money. Below is a recap of the lessons Chuck shared, but we encourage you to listen to the program to get his full perspective on this very important topic.

First lesson – No means no. Parents need to learn how to say “No” to their children at an early age. In other words, do not give them everything they want.

Second lesson – Teach your children to share, and how to delay gratification. A good rule of thumb is to teach them for every dollar they receive it must be allocated into the following three categories: Giving (10%), Savings (50%) and Spending (40%).

Third lesson – Teach them personal responsibilities that they are not compensated for, i.e., make their own bed, fold their own clothes, etc.

Forth lesson – Offer a monetary allowance based on chores that are accomplished beyond their personal responsibilities, i.e., vacuuming, yard work, etc. Set up a penalty system for chores that are not accomplished, or if poorly completed.

Fifth lesson – Post help wanted ads on your refrigerator that you would normally hire an outside contractor for. Allow the children to bid for the

Jobs ,and let them know your expectations. Inspect their work, and let them know of areas they need to improve.

By implementing the five lessons Chuck Bentley has to offer, you will be helping your children at an early age to achieve healthy financial responsibilities that will last throughout their lifetime. They will learn the value of money by working for it and obtain a good work ethic, learn how to manage the money they receive, and to be able to live financially independent.

What are some creative ways you teach your children about money?

Article from Shepherd Hill Academy

Parental Discipline Without Provocation (7 Keys)

2013-04-30T03:10:00.000-07:00

In Ephesians 6:4, God tells fathers (though I think the application is fair for both parents) to raise children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. He also warns against provoking our children to anger. So how do we do one without the other? How do we discipline exasperating kids without in turn exasperating them unnecessarily?

Commenting on this verse, Martyn Lloyd-Jones offers seven principles to govern our disciplinary action as parents.

1. “We are incapable of exercising true discipline unless we are first able to exercise self-control, and discipline our own tempers” (Life in the Spirit, 278).

2. “If a parent is to exercise this discipline in the right way he must never be capricious. There is nothing more irritating to the one who is undergoing discipline than a feeling that the person who is administering it is capricious and uncertain. There is nothing more annoying to a child than the kind of parent whose moods and actions you can never predict, who is changeable, whose condition is always uncertain. There is no worse type of parent than he who one day, in a kindly mood, is indulgent and allows the child to do almost anything it likes, but who the next day flares up in a rage if the child does scarcely anything at all” (279).

3. “Another most important principle is that the parent must never be unreasonable or unwilling to hear the child’s case. There is nothing that so annoys the one who is being disciplined as the feeling that the whole procedure is utterly unreasonable. In other words, it is a thoroughly bad parent who will not take any circumstances into consideration at all, or who will not listen to any conceivable explanation. . . .Of course one realizes that advantage can be taken of this by the child. All I am saying is that we must never be unreasonable. Let the explanation be given by the child, and if it is not a true reason, then you can chastise for that also as well as for the particular act which constitutes the offence. But to refuse to listen, to prohibit any kind of reply, is inexcusable” (280).

4. “But there is another principle to be considered – the parent must never be selfish. . . .My charge applies to persons who do not recognize that the child has his own life and personality, and who seem to think that children are entirely for their pleasure, or for their use. They have an essentially wrong notion of parenthood and what it means. They do not realize that we are but guardians and custodians of these lives that are given to us, that we do not possess them, that they do not ‘belong’ to us, that they are not ‘goods’ or chattels, that we have no absolute right over them” (281).

5. “Punishment, discipline, must never be administered in a mechanical manner. There are people who believe in discipline for its own sake. That is not biblical teaching, but the philosophy of the Sergeant Major. . . .It must never be thought of in terms of pressing a button and expecting an inevitable result to follow. That is not true discipline; it is not even human. That belongs to the realm of mechanics. But true discipline is always based on understanding; it has something to say for itself; it has an explanation to give” (282).

6. Discipline must never be too severe. Here is perhaps the danger that confronts many good parents at the present time as they see the utter lawlessness about them, and as they rightly bemoan it and condemn it. Their danger is to be so deeply influenced by their revulsions as to go right over to this other extreme and to become much too severe. The opposite of no discipline at all is not cruelty, it is balanced discipline, it is controlled discipline” (283).

7. “We must never fail to recognize growth and development in the child. This is another alarming parental defect which, thank God, one does not see now so often as formerly. But there are still some parents who continue to regard their children all their lives as if they had never outgrown their childhood. The children may be twenty-five but they still treat them as if they were five. They do not recognize that this person, this individual, this child who God has given them in His grace, is one that is growing and developing and maturing” (284).

Article from The Gospel Coalition Blog

The Christian Parenting Handbook Launch! (And HUGE Giveaway!)

2013-04-29T09:46:00.001-07:00

I know you have been eagerly awaiting this day since I told you there would be a HUGE reward in waiting to purchase your copy of The Christian Parenting Handbook until the official launch. Your patience has paid off because it begins TODAY!

Buy a print copy of The Christian Parenting Handbook during this launch week (between April 29 and May 5), and you will also get a package of FREE resources valued at more than $400.00. There are 8 audio, video, and electronic items contained in the Bonus Parenting Package. You can receive The Christian Parenting Handbook Companion Guide for free if you purchase 5 copies or more of the book!The Christian Parenting Handbook Companion Guide is a workbook with audio clips that will help you apply the material in The Christian Parenting Handbook You can make your purchase from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books A Million, CBD, or Parable.

To claim your amazing free gift, simply forward your purchase confirmation to Gift@biblicalparenting.org and The National Center for Biblical Parenting will send you your special product code for the $400.00 package. If you purchased 5 or more copies of the book, they’ll send you the PDF version of the Companion Guide along with the audio segments.

Don’t forget! There will be some great events this week as well to help celebrate the launch of The Christian Parenting Handbook!

Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller will be hosting a Google Hangout on Tuesday evening April 30 starting at 7:30 pm EDT. This will be an on-air hangout where anyone can listen in. You can watch the video by going to the Biblical Parenting Facebook Group. You can also comment there and ask Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller questions!

There will be a Twitter Party on Wednesday evening, May 1, from 8:00 – 9:00 pm EDT. The hashtag is #heartparenting. They will be giving away lots of prizes. Plan on joining and spread the word!
My Biblical Parenting Giveaway is still running through May 4th at 11:00pm Central Time!
I will be posting my review of The Christian Parenting Handbook in the next day or two!

And to celebrate launch day today The National Center for Biblical Parenting is hosting a huge giveaway!

There will be 5 winners! Here are the prizes:
1) iPad Mini ($400)
2) $200 Amazon Gift Card
3) Wii with Sports Game ($200)
4) $100 Amazon Gift Card
5) Kodak Digital Picture Frame ($90)

Simply enter on the form below!

Real Women and Their Real Savior

2013-04-29T03:44:00.000-07:00

The Headlines of Our Lives

Like you, I frequent grocery stores. And like you, I scan the headlines of the magazines and newspapers while I wait my turn to slide the debit card and be on my way. Although there are times when the headlines of some “newspapers” are laugh-out-loud funny—Monkey Boy Actually Nostradamus!, most of the other headlines are heartbreaking—Famous Starlet Arrested Again! Beautiful Couple’s Marriage On The Rocks! Celebrated Director In ! And these are reports of the lives of people we’re tempted to envy. They’re the ones who are able to take long and luxurious vacations, who have achieved the American dream, who have access to all the “best” help.

And yet, something is desperately wrong. Not money, fame, nor beauty can shelter any of us from it. We’re not shocked by the troubles of the rich-and-famous because, at heart, we know they’re just like us. We know that we’re all in trouble and we all need help. How would the headlines of our lives read? Aside from the paparazzi, are we all that different?

The Answer Is a Person

We’re all very well aware of the fact that we’ve got problems. We sin. Others sin against us. We live in a sin-cursed world. We know that there are as many answers to our problems as there are problems themselves. But there is only one answer strong enough to transform us into loving, humble servants. Every other answer tends only to more sin, more unbelief, idolatry and lovelessness. The answer we need is found in the Bible and because every part of the Bible testifies about Jesus (Luke 24:44), the answer is found in Jesus Himself.

The Bible isn’t a self-help book. It isn’t a book of heroes (aside from One!), nor is it a book of rules. The Bible is the story of God’s love for us and his determination to have a people for his own pleasure and our unending joy. The Bible is the only book that can correctly diagnose our sin problem, it reveals our deepest hearts, even down to our inmost thoughts and motives (Hebrews 4:12). No other system of help can do that.

The Bible is also the only book that can give us real hope, power and motivation for change. Because of God’s love demonstrated in the gospel and most powerfully at Calvary, we can have hope. As Paul put it so beautifully thousands of years ago, “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32) Here Paul argues for our hope from the greater to the lesser.

“Look, if God is willing to give up His beloved Son for you, why would you doubt His love? If He’s willing to give you the greatest gift ever given, why would He withhold any blessing from you?”

You can have hope today simply because God loved you so dearly that He gave His Son for you and then powerfully raised Him from death so that you could live with Him eternally. There’s also power for you to change because of the resurrection. The Bible tells us that the enslaving power of sin in our lives was broken when Christ overcame the punishment for sin, that is, death, through his resurrection.

We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life…We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin (Romans 6:4, 6).

A Lively Hope and a Sure Motivation

The only hope we have to overcome our sin, our idolatry, unbelief and lovelessness, is the resurrection of Jesus Christ, but what a lively hope that is! He died once and will never die again so that right now He’s providentially protecting and providing everything we need to persevere through this difficult life and join Him in eternal happiness.

And finally, there’s only one motive that will stand the test of time, that will enable us to keep serving, keep obeying, keep believing, even when the trials we face seem interminable. The motive: love. But how can we love? What will make us love? This and only this: God’s prior love for us. If we start our day thinking about our obligation to love, serve and believe, we’ll very shortly find ourselves falling into either pride (because we’re doing so well) or despair (because we’re not). But if we start (and stay) with this thought: Jesus Christ loves me and gave Himself up for me ensuring my Father’s smile on me, no matter how the day wears on we’ll know the joys of obedience and the joys of repentance. We’ll understand the promise inherent in our Savior’s words, “If you love me you will keep my commandments.”

The Bible is the only book that has sufficient, deeply profound, and yet amazingly simple answers to real problems. Yes, we have a problem: we’re sinners. But that’s not all. We’ve been given real help: we’ve been loved. And this love is powerful enough and long lasting enough to change everything about us and about our world. This love is genuinely and eternally life-transforming. It makes us new.

But this love isn’t some impersonal force, this love is embodied in human form, in our Savior, the One who has gone through every temptation we face, and so is “able to sympathize with our weaknesses” (Hebrews 4:15). He knows that we have real problems but He’s given us a real answer: Himself.

Because He was willing to leave the bliss of heaven, He became a real man with thoughts and feelings and desires just like ours. He embraced us when He embraced our mortal flesh. He was stripped of His glories so we could be clothed in His goodness. And He forfeited the pleasure of uninterrupted fellowship with His beloved Father so that we could share in that relationship forever. Yes, we have real problems but He’s given us His life. Yes, we’re real women who need real answers. But he’s a Faithful Husband who has supplied all we need. And so we look to Him we find that our hearts are satisfied, our lives transformed, and our deepest problems are solved in the shadow of the cross.

Article from Biblical Counseling Coalition