Raising up a legacy of life is a calling planted in my heart by a holy God. It is my duty to pass on a mantel of nobility and grace to those who will go on after me.  I do not see this duty as frustrating, boring, or downgrading.

I pray that you hear my heart, dear homemakers. God wants us to picture ourselves as reigning queen of our homes; valiant, strong, and prevailing. We are to have dominion over our homes and govern the domestic affairs therein. Your home is the center of your life.

Please do not misunderstand me to mean you have the right to rule over your husband, but rather God has given you the awesome responsibility of mastering your home under your husband’s protection and guidance.

Home is a place of challenge, creativity, chores, and celebration. It is a birthing place where family members gather to welcome rewards from God. A haven for a mother needing rest from planting and sowing.

You rule over your kitchen making sure that the health needs of your family are met. You give thought to what you will feed them and how to make them feel special. You delegate chores and responsibilities allowing for an orderly home. You direct the daily projects and events taking place in the lives of your children.

You practice serving and helping those in need. You administrate the constant flow of activity giving your family the opportunity to learn and become successful.

Yet, there are many who are bored and unhappy in their home. They do not understand the calling placed on their lives by God. Home is the greatest sphere of influence, rest, and healing.

Without vision and understanding of the calling placed on homemakers, mothers, and wives, we will be unfulfilled and discontent finding our place of dominion somewhere other than home. When we come out from under our husband’s protection it causes a breakdown in marriage and the proper functioning of society.

We should find fulfillment in our homes; embracing the simple and noble things of life. It is not as complicated as one might think. It is a choice.

PRAYER:

Father, may we gain a clear and vivid understanding of the calling placed on our lives as wives, mothers, and homemakers. Break down strongholds that have held us captive to complaining, discontentment, and lies. Thank you for the gift of home and the privilege to direct, plan, administrate, govern, and teach those under us to love you with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. Amen.

Dear Children,

Should the Lord give you the good gift of a husband or wife, and I hope He does, there are a few things I want you to know. Things that you may not hear from anyone else, and certainly not on TV or other media. Sadly, your church may not even tell you.

Marriage, sweet little people, is not for the purpose of your happiness. Happy as I want you to be and hope you will be, you must yet understand that marriage is God’s design and His purposes must be pursued in order for you to be truly happy. His end is holiness and He will use all things in a life devoted to Him to fulfill that end.

To my girls:

Marry a man whose first pursuit is Christ. After that, he is not hard to please. Admire him, cheer him on and show gratitude, and he will fall over himself trying to please you. Smile often, speak well of him always, and do whatever necessary to try and maintain a pleasant mood about you so that it transfers to your home, making it a place where he and your children love to be.

You’ll have bad days of course, crying days even, and that’s when you go to your bedroom, kneel on the floor and beg the Lord to carry you. Then get up, get a fresh perspective (crayons will come off the wall), and try again. Above all else, make a home.

To my boys:

Marry a woman whose first pursuit is Christ. After that, she may be hard to please only if you don’t know “the secret”. What is that? I’m glad you asked. The secret to pleasing your wife is to make her feel safe and treasured. You may have to move out of your comfort zone to do this at times. She won’t always readily translate the oil change to love, though it means that. But let me give you a “secret question”–a question you need to ask her often. It’s not just in the asking, though. Be sure to focus your eyes on hers, maybe even touch her shoulder or face, and then ask: “What’s on your mind these days? “ And then be ready to listen. She wants you to draw her out. She will perceive this as your protection over the matters of her heart. Tenderness, listening, protection. That’s what she wants.

To you all:

If your wife or husband does something really stupid, forgive. If they do it again, forgive again. Forgiveness must be the propelling force in your lives each day. Dwell on the strengths, push out thoughts of their weaknesses. Take every thought captive–choose to love.

Here’s that part you are not going to hear often:

If you find yourself “not happy”, having lost attraction, disinterested, etc., you are not permitted to even think about a divorce. If you find yourselves arguing more and more, don’t think for a minute that “the children will be better off out of this”, because they won’t.

The vows you took on your wedding day were not suggestions. They were covenant vows, before a Holy God, family and friends, to stay with this person the rest of your life, even if you don’t feel like it. You swore a solemn oath and if you can’t live up to it, don’t get married. Decide up front that your marriage is irrevocable. There is far more motivation for getting along if your “marriage house” has no door.

Do not share intimate thoughts or feelings with anyone of the opposite sex. Do not find yourself alone for any length of time with such either.

Divorce is not a “private option”. It will affect multiple families for many generations. When you “separate what God has joined” you permanently injure far more than just yourself.

Guard your marriage as fiercely as you would guard your own life. Treat your spouse as an extension of your flesh, just as God sees you. Treat your spouse like other family members. You know, “you gotta love ‘em, they’re the only family you’ve got”.

I want you to be happy, I surely do. But I will pray for you to be holy.

There are so many beautiful things about homemaking . . . and right here is the perfect place for us to encourage one another in this beautiful calling! Below you can share the link to a post or article on your blog about homemaking, whether it be about cleaning, character, cooking, etc.

To share a link to your post about homemaking, you can use the Linky below . . . just share your link (make sure the link goes directly to your post), title, and image (it’s easy)!

Please link back here so others can join!

The father-daughter relationship is a very special bond that needs to be nurtured. It is so important that a daughter know the love her father has for her. A wonderful way for fathers to cultivate this special relationship and spend time with their daughters is to attend an inspiring father daughter event. One of our favorites is the annual Father Daughter Banquet hosted by Christian Heritage Church. If you are in the area, please consider attending–you won’t regret it!

Here is a short description:

“Christian Heritage Church invites you to join hundreds of Fathers and Daughters for a night of celebration and affirmation of biblical womanhood at the 3rd Annual Midwest Father & Daughter Banquet held at the beautiful DiNolfo’s Banquets in Homer Glen. 

Our guest speaker this year is Todd “the Family Man” Wilson who is known throughout the country for his humorous and encouraging words to fathers trying to be “the Dad.”

Our prayer is that God would use this evening to unite the hearts of fathers and daughters while laying a foundation for future generations of faithfulness to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Fathers, you will enjoy an open soda pop bar and a delicious gourmet dinner together, followed by father and daughter games, Todd Wilson’s message, dessert, and an optional slow dance with your daughter.  As you leave, a picture portrait to remember this special night await you.  (All included in the ticket fee . . . priceless!)

Add to this special evening an overnight stay at Georgio’s Conmfort Inn and Conference Center at 8800 West 159th street for the special event rate of $75 including a hot breakfast. Just call (708) 403-1100 for reservations and mention “Midwest Father & Daughter Banquet” for the discount rate.”

You can register HERE or view more photos HERE.

Today we have  a post by Jill Novak of Remembrance Press…

Can you believe January is almost over? As I write, the clock on my bedside table ticks loudly, counting out the seconds–one after another–reminding me that life is speeding full steam ahead. In the multitude of minutes that fill these fleeting days, can I really say I’ve touched my daughters’ hearts? Author and pastor’s wife, Gail MacDonald says, “…Reaching is instinctive, but touching for the most part is learned. For in touching we learn and receive, talk and listen, share ourselves and see into another.” Isn’t that so true?

Touching requires more than a casual conversation here and there; it consists of life-giving, nurturing dialogs. But in the busyness of day-to-day living, how can we intentionally meet our daughters’ spiritual and emotional needs? Doesn’t that kind of touching demand a deeper level of communication, and a commitment to put them first before other relationships outside the home?

We all have circumstances that compete for our time. The “urgent” moments which consist of pressing problems, deadlines, and crisis situations compete with the “non-urgent” moments such as building relationships, seeking new opportunities, and planning activities. What changes could we make this year to better focus on touching the souls of the children whom God has entrusted to us? What tools could we utilize to make relational living a daily reality? When I asked myself this question, I thought of shared journaling–a writing activity our family participated in when my children were younger.

Because of the high level of daily care we give to my father who has Parkinson’s (we’re in our third year now), I’ve had to find creative ways to stay connected with my daughters, ages 25, 16, and 12. So at the beginning of the New Year, I gave each of the girls a special journal for the purpose of sharing an ongoing mother/daughter dialog – a place where we can share what’s on our hearts. I need to know the words and moments we want to remember are not lost–falling to the ground like precious pearls slipping off a broken string of long-forgotten days.

Several times a week, I take a few minutes away from our scheduled duties–sometimes early in the morning or late at night–to write to my daughters. I include entries that show my appreciation for them or the things they have done, comments about everyday moments, special “I love you’s,” and observations about the lessons the Lord is teaching us. I know from past experience, the cumulative effect of these entries will add up to a beautiful testimony of our relationship, and a permanent record of God working in and through our lives.

Not only does shared journaling lead to a joyful appreciation of life, it also brings normalcy and stability to stressful situations. There can never be a question in your daughter’s mind of how much you love her. It’s spelled out through the powerful and life-changing words the Lord gives you to bless her with–one entry at a time. As proverbs 25:11 so beautifully says, “A word aptly spoken, is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”

In the midst of days that have the stamp of “urgent” all over them, corresponding to one another in a shared journal gives mothers and daughters a place to meet, free of interruptions, where they can cherish one another, strengthen the mother/daughter bond, and grow as sisters in Christ.

Our daughters need to know that no matter how busy we are as mothers, we’re listening and seeking the Lord on their behalf. They need to know there is a special place in our hearts reserved just for them. This is especially critical when life’s circumstances are pressing in on every side and the whole family is caught up in doing the “necessary” things.

Writing to your daughters may not have been one of your top priorities this New Year–but it still can be. Shared journaling gives you a fresh, clean page to write upon, and a powerful tool that will strengthen relationships now, and have a far reaching impact on generations to come.

Practical Tips for Shared Journaling

1. Write to Relate: Psalm 127:3 “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Let your daughters (and sons, too, if you have them) know how much you treasure them in the pages of their journals. Accept them unconditionally right where they’re at today. Don’t compare them to anyone else. Pray for the words they need to hear from the Lord. Let Him write to your children through your pen. Invite your husband to write in your daughter’s journal as well. Even if they don’t consider themselves writers, most fathers, when given the opportunity, love to contribute to their children’s journals.
2. Write to Refresh: Proverbs 11:25 “The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered.” Be creative! Include thoughts, feelings, perceptions, prayers, and observations from your daughter’s daily activities, special times shared together, things you are grateful for, poetry, scriptures, quotes, lyrics from hymns or worship songs, memoirs, current photos, and ones of you when you were the same age, etc.
3. Write to Restore: Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Is the relationship with your daughter strained? Does she rarely open up to you? Is her heart blocked from painful situations that are unresolved? Write to restore your relationship. Pray and ask the Lord for the right words to minister to your daughter’s spirit, the words you need to break through any barriers. Come alongside your daughter. Be transparent and share the struggles you had when you were her age. Note: never use a shared journal to lecture or berate your daughter!

Write to Remember: Malachi 3:16 “Then those who feared the LORD spoke to one another, and the LORD gave attention and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who fear the LORD and who esteem His name.” If there was ever a verse that encouraged shared journaling, this is it! God is actively involved in listening to the conversations of His children. Dedicate your journals to Him and make them a place to record the moments of your lives and His faithfulness to all generations.

Jill Novak and her husband Robert have been married 33 years and are the parents of five precious children. Together their family founded Remembrance Press, publishers of The Pebbly Brook Farm Stories, Becoming God’s Naturalist, The Gift of Family Writing, and The Girlhood Home Companion Magazine. The Novaks have been caring for Jill’s elderly father who has Parkinson’s since the fall of 2009, and thus a new chapter of life is being written. Visit www.remembrancepress.com and Jill’s personal blog at www.jillnovak.com.

My oldest son, about five years old at the time, ran towards me wild-eyed and screaming. 

“Mommy! Mommy!!! Help me!”

Twenty yards or so spanned the distance between us, but it felt like two thousand yards.  I stretched out my arms to him and he collapsed into them, sobbing.

“He was hitting me, Mommy! And he threw a stick at me! It hit me in the head!”

I already knew what had happened; I’d seen it all from the kitchen window. Still, I let him continue to talk as I rubbed his head and held him close, my heart breaking that a mere five year old child could feel so much distress over a situation he didn’t have much control over.

Then, with earnest eyes, he looks up at me. “Mommy, next time you hear me screaming like that, you have to come right away, alright? Don’t wait. Come as fast as you can. I was calling for you, and…”

I hugged him tightly and whispered in his ear, “I did come right away! I heard you calling! It took me a minute get from the kitchen to the back door, honey, but I came as fast as I could.”

“But Mommy, I was calling you…and you weren’t there…”

Sometimes, in my naivety, I have conversations like that with God.

“God, I was calling You, and You weren’t there!”

“God, I needed Your help! Where were You?!”

“Why didn’t You come right away when I called?”

And then I collapse in His arms and He wraps His arms around me, speaking these words into my heart:

”Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Isaiah 46:4

He is my Sustainer when I’ve done all I know to do.

He is my Rescuer when I am wild-eyed and frightened.

He is the One Who carries me when I’ve fallen at His feet.

And I am reminded that, despite His perceived silence at times ~ despite my absolute blindness at times ~ He is always there, always at work for my ultimate good.

Have you ever had those conversations with God?

Jaime, a pastor’s wife and homeschool mom, is one of the new monthly contributors for the Raising Sons corner.  She shares about simple living, homemaking, and whole foods on her blog, Like a Bubbling Brook.  She is passionate about nurturing her family, living intentionally, and being debt-free. 

Don’t forget to join her and five other bloggers for the Love Around The Block Facebook Party next month!  There will be great fellowship, inspiration, and many generous prizes from Vision Forum, Accordance Bible Software, DaySpring, and more.  It’s all free and we’d love to have you there!

top image by Jaime G

Today we have a guest post by Lauren of A Corner Pillar…

Have you ever paused and wondered how much homemakers would be worth if all of their work was equated to a dollar value?  I came across an interesting read on two of my sweet friends’ blogs today (you can visit their blogs here and here).  I have added some thoughts of my own at the end. 

How Much is a Homemaker Worth?

“The life of a homemaker is one that includes an endless amount of demands and to-dos. Depending on the size of the home and family, the position of homemaker can go well beyond the usual nine to five. We examined some of the tasks that a homemaker might do to find out how much his or her services would net as individual professional careers. We only take into consideration tasks which have monetary values and use the lowest value for each calculation.

Private Chef – Meal preparation is one of the major tasks of most homemakers. From breakfast to dinner, there is plenty of meal planning and cooking to be done. The American Personal Chef Association reports that its personal chefs make $200 to $500 a day. Grocery shopping is another chore that needs to be factored in. A homemaker must drive to the supermarket, purchase the food and deliver it to the home. Grocery delivery services charge a delivery fee of $5 to $10.
Total cost for services: $1,005 per five day work week x 52 weeks = $52,260 per year.

House Cleaner – A clean and tidy home is the foundation of an efficient household. Typical cleaning duties include vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, scrubbing sinks as well as loading the dishwasher and making beds. Professional maids or house cleaning service providers will charge by the hour, number of rooms or square footage of the home. For example, bi-weekly cleaning of a 900-square-foot, two-bedroom apartment with five rooms, costs $59-$124 . A 1,300 square-foot, single-story home with seven rooms runs $79-$150 . A 2,200 two-story, three-bedroom home with nine rooms averages $104-$180 . Additional tasks such as oven or refrigerator cleaning and dusting mini blinds can run an extra $20-$25.
Total cost for services: $118 per week X 52 Weeks = $6,136 per year.

Child Care- Homemakers provide full-time, live-in child care. This type of service from a professional provider would usually come with a host of perks including health insurance, paid vacation and sick days, federal holidays off, dental and vision coverage, and bonuses. The International Nanny Association’s 2011 survey found that nannies make $600 to $950 per week in gross wages, on average.
Total cost for services: $600 a week plus perks/benefits x 52 Weeks = $31,200 per year.

Driver – A private car service might seem like a high-end luxury to most, but the beneficiaries of a homemaker get this service on a daily basis. Companies like Red Cap, which provides personal drivers that use the client’s own car as the means of transportation, offer a glimpse into the cost of this homemaker task. An elite membership which includes 365 days of unlimited, round-trip service is $1,000 a year plus 33 cents – $2.03 per minute.
Total cost for services: $1,000 per year + [(estimated miles driven 8000 miles / 50 MPH) x 60 min/hr x $0.33 per minute] = $4,168 total per year.

Laundry Service – Clean clothes come at a cost when you have to pay for the service that most homemakers do for free. Professional laundry services charge by the pound. For instance, Susie’s Suds Home Laundry Service, Inc. in Texas charges 90 cents to $1.00 a pound to wash, dry, fold, hang and steam your clothes. Items that take longer to dry such as comforters, blankets, rugs and winter clothes are assessed at a price of $12-$15 each.
Total cost for services: $0.90 per pound x 4 pounds of clothes per day x 5 days per weeks x 52 weeks = $936 total per year.

Lawn Maintenance - Basic maintenance of the exterior property is a less common, but possible duty of a homemaker.This could include things such as mowing, debris removal, edging and trimming the lawn. These services cost about $30 a week on average.
Total cost for services: $30 per week x 52 weeks = $1,560 total per year.

The Bottom Line – Total for a year of all services is: $52,260 + $6,137 + $31,200 + $4,168 + $936 + $1,560 = $96,261 per year.

The daily work of a homemaker can sometimes be taken for granted by his or her family members. However, these services could earn a homemaker a considerable wage if he or she took those skills to the marketplace. Homemakers in general contribute a lot more to the home in addition to these tasks, and no amount of money can fill those needs.” (The article’s source is found here.)

I found that article to be a very interesting read.  Though a little flawed for some (my mother never drove 8,000 miles herself in the course of a year) and politically correct (referring to homemakers as both men and women), the ideas communicated are worth noting.  The industrious homemaking woman is of great value to her household.

In addition, a mother who educates her own children would be worth either a tutor or a teacher’s salary.  One who grows her own produce, raises animals, and sews clothing also adds to the family income.  As you can see, the article really just scratches the surface!

Stepping away from the monetary aspect of it reminds us of a homemaker’s greatest contributions, namely the tender love, Godly wisdom, and careful nurture she imparts to her husband and children (if the Lord has blessed her thus).  This is worth far more to the Kingdom of God than we could ever put a dollar amount on.  It makes one think, when considering the value of what we do.  What am I pouring my energy into?  What is really important?  What will last eternally?

Being a chef is of little value if we do not demonstrate hospitality and nourish souls.

Taxiing across town is a worthless effort if we do not drive others to Christ.

Washing clothes only helps to clean up the outward appearance; we must be about washing with the Word.

The bottom line is this:  Only God can place a real value on homemaking.  Proverbs 31 makes that infinitely clear.  A Christ-honoring homemaker who is industrious and is about the business of serving her King is worth far more than money can buy.  Her worth is far above rubies.  She is working to build Christ’s Kingdom!  When done unto the Lord, wiping noses, cleaning up spilled milk, and speaking wisdom into the lives of children is the kind of work that lasts forever and ever.  That is one thing the world will never understand, try as they might; you just can’t place a dollar value on something as noble and beautiful as homemaking.

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”
-Proverbs 31:10

Do you have anything to add?

Lauren is a thankful daughter, saved by the matchless grace of her Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed to have been educated at home, she now delights in serving her family as she strives to grow in godliness and continues learning to be a keeper at home.

Working in her family’s used homeschool book business provides her with plenty of opportunities for growth and sanctification. Lauren is an avid lover of homemaking, photography, the family economy, and good coffee.

You can find her over at A Corner Pillar, where she blogs about life, homemaking, and the goodness of the Lord.

There are so many beautiful things about homemaking . . . and right here is the perfect place for us to encourage one another in this beautiful calling! Below you can share the link to a post or article on your blog about homemaking, whether it be about cleaning, character, cooking, etc.

To share a link to your post about homemaking, you can use the Linky below . . . just share your link (make sure the link goes directly to your post), title, and image (it’s easy)!

Please link back here so others can join!

Valentine’s day is around the corner and six Christian bloggers are having a virtual party  to celebrate on February 7th so be sure to save the date!

The Hostesses and Topics

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home – Love of Hospitality

Like a Bubbling Brook – Loving the Body of Christ

Far Above Rubies – Loving Your Home

The Modest Mom – Loving Your Children

Raising Mighty Arrows – Loving Your Husband

Under the Golden Apple Tree – Homeschool Love

HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PRIZES WILL BE GIVEN AWAY!

Some of the many fabulous sponsors include:

Vision Forum

Dayspring

Doorposts

Adorabelle Designs

Wise Woman Consulting

A Great Impression

and much more!

You can join us and view details of the event by clicking HERE.

 Be sure to save the date!

Today we have a post by Jacqueline of Deep Roots at Home…

Is it a fair statement to say that we cannot grow more Christlike if we don’t remain in the Word of God?

Starting January 2, I began a challenge to read the Bible in 90 days. Here is my schedule. I felt the leading to do this but soon realized I could be in over my head.

Instead of stopping all together when life throws more at me than I can handle, why not listen to the Bible? I can’t just give up and let the evil one win!

“So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”      Romans 10:17 

I am not an iPod type of gal, y.e.t.! My adult children are trying to prompt me that way, but for now, I use streaming audio at Faith Comes By Hearing. They also offer both Old and New Testament (dramatized) for MP3 download in many languages.

So what does this have to do with cleaning?

While you listen, you can wash your stove and counters…

wash and fold laundry…

wash your cabinets…

wash the dishes or load the dishwasher…

mop the floors…

water your plants…

and wash out cabinets.

The list of (potentially quiet) things we do as moms and homemakers is endless: cleaning closets, dusting, cooking and baking, stripping and making beds, washing windows, putting away groceries, and don’t forget chauffeuring (use the CD player or iPod). We could never do all these things in one week, but broken down over many weeks, it becomes do-able.

O, to worship at the feet of the Savior right where our work means the most ~ in the home where we nurture and minister to those in our care. My desire is to be sweeter spirited, model my love for the Word to my family, and practice intentional diligence.

*****If things happen to keep us from completing our plans or if we have to stop for a time, don’t feel guilty or throw in the towel. We are under grace! Pick up and start again.******

It is still January. Would you consider coming alongside me in this B-90 challenge?

“And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father..” Col 3: 17