Rajat Mishra aka rajat_nda

Passionate about creation? Do it...

2024-08-09T16:15:00.000+05:30

Ever wondered what if you had the 'personal time' that you used to, (maybe) quite some time back? What…IIHT? We all have our 'If I Had Time…' activities or IIHTs outside of our professional and personal responsibilities.

Writing is one for me, but over the last few months I've been working on another competing IIHT. This post is about finding that creator in us (and my journey of a creation). No GenAI tool was used (or harmed) for creating this post.

The year was 2007, I had just heard about the concept of blogging. What started as a fun activity while I was waiting for ISB & IIM A confirmation, turned into a full-fledged activity as soon as the first few posts with my story spread across the country. Many years later, after repeated asks from my well-wishers, an IIHT materialized and the story took the shape of a book. And now, many more years later and asks from readers, I finally finished a 4.51-minute-long video. It's a visual journey of my sine curve through pictures, emotions, and words. And, it is set to the calming rhythm of the whisper of the waves (more on that below). 2024 marks 20 years since my accident in Dec 2004, (sort of) death, and rebirth, and it's probably a good way to commemorate that milestone.

While the video creation was exciting, I delved into something I've been meaning to do for many years. Instead of using a random audio, I thought, "Why not create my own?" So, I composed my own background soundtrack. Wow, the power of deciding how the notes will flow, which instruments will come in…Oh! the excitement. Took me back to the story writing days (which character will say what, and stuff…). So, yes, there was learning involved and I used the Soundtrap tool to compose my first piece—called 'Whisper of the Waves'.

It's my second life's purpose to keep spreading my core message of 'It's all in the mind' and I hope to continue on that path with my book, website, speeches and interactions, and this video. As for all of us (as in humanity), go find that creator hidden inside and see what it brings to life.

What's your IIHT? No need to respond in comments, it is your question and your answer. Carve out time and get it done.

Mindful determination and the other kind

2022-10-04T23:29:00.001+05:30

“Why, Mr. Anderson? Why, why, why? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting?” asked Agent Smith, in the Matrix series. That intriguing monologue was much longer of course. Almost everyone knows the importance of determination and this note has nothing to do with that. However, while with great determination, an expert biologist might try finding factorial of 100 a hundred times to see if the result differs, is that purposeful?

Mindful determination doesn’t have to benefit the whole of humanity, but more importantly, it leads to purposeful outcomes. Mindless determination, on the contrary, is like a headless chicken running around. There is this inordinate amount of resolve to get “it” done, but there is no meaningful “it”. There is no purpose.

I’m not saying that one should perpetually follow meaningful goals without a break. That will only burn out the wick. What we need is conscious investing of time into identifying personal and/or professional goals. Goals that add value to—an individual, one’s family, organization, or society, and so on.

For a leader (at any level), the focus and determination exuded set the path for the team. Now, that leader can choose to layer on the path with aspects that matter the most. Or, the leader can be determined about achieving the goal, but focus on inconsequential asks.

Let’s talk about a leader, say Mr. Agent Smith. He is a go-getter who is determined to go up the ladder. He leads by example, empowers his team members to deliver—the works. Now, everyone wants their team to be productive. So, Mr. Smith installs sensors to track how much time team members are wasting in the cafeteria every hour. Someone then creates Xcelsius dashboards to report back on 20 metrics. This can go on and on, but you get the point.

Determination as a superpower is good obviously, but are we pointing it in the right direction? That’s the question we need to ask and answer—both personally and professionally. Is it laser-focused on what truly matters? If yes, then go ahead and do what it takes. If not, then it’s time to get back to the drawing board. Get going...

Linkedin post

P.S. The morning routine picture above is courtesy my daughter. The weighted vest certainly helps.

#RAFR (/ˈrafə/) break: Where will you go?

2022-03-25T18:25:00.005+05:30

Over the lunch table a few days back, I had a realization. Not necessarily an epiphany, but an exciting idea indeed. And after discussing with my better half, drafted my 36-hours #RAFR break plan.

A #RAFR break is a run-away-from-responsibilities break (newly coined acronym). As we start our journey as an adult, the responsibilities keep getting added at every milestone—both professional and personal. Got married? Congrats! Responsibility added. Kid born? Yippee! Responsibilities added multifold. Had another one? You know the drill already.

Across the last two years, there has been a lot of focus on mental wellbeing, which is good. We always needed it, and many of us accepted a façade of, “I don’t want to appear weak, it's fine.” That thought process has changed thankfully, and most of us acknowledge the importance of peace of mind.

So, a #RAFR break includes a pre-defined period of getting away from ALL responsibilities. Irrespective of the life stage you are in, get far away from everything—maybe it's for 24hrs or 48hrs, or whatever you can make work based on your support system.

So, here’s my #RAFR break plan for which I got the in-principle approval from my wife (yippee! 😊). For me, mountains are the one place that I’d love to spend my life in. So, the destination for my 36-hours solo #RAFR break is Ladakh.

Phase 1: Take the early morning flight from Hyderabad to Leh and reach in the afternoon. I still remember the moment I stepped out of the flight a few years back, the picturesque landscape felt like home. Next, I’ll have a good filling of Thukpa, momos, and stuff for lunch, and pack some hot tea (maybe butter tea?) in a thermos. I’ll then hire a cab for a day and go to any of the quiet spots with a view (not that there’s any scarcity of that 😊). And then, I’ll just sit there, admiring the work of nature, at peace, singing with the wind, enjoying the cold weather, connecting with my deep self. Then a cup of tea, and then continue being in the moment.

Phase 2: As part of the second tier of the plan, I’ll need some prior coordination with my NDA/IMA coursemates, juniors, or seniors who might be posted there. The night will be spent in one of the units with brother officers, connecting with my Army roots. Maybe reminisce going for patrols at night and climbing peaks with moonlit sky in the background, and stuff. Of course, there’ll also be update calls to home in between—because I’ll wish they were there too, strictly NOT for the sense of responsibility.

Phase 3: Next day, catch the early morning sunrise and enjoy the moment. Have a nice warm breakfast at the mess and then on the way to the airport, spend some time sitting in the valley areas—absorbing the moment, at peace, and all the works. Catch the afternoon flight after that, and back home rejuvenated.

So there, I’ve said it. Each one of us (all genders, all age groups) needs that moment of freedom to get away from the weight on the shoulders. Let’s see when I put my 36-hours #RAFR break in action. The planning process itself was energizing enough. How about planning yours—where would you go 😊?

PS: I still continue to post on this blog as well, but primarily post thoughts on Linkedin. Here's the link to this one: https://bit.ly/3tD0scu.

Ciao ppl!

Ciao life!

The DWIT framework (/diː’/wɪt/ or dee-wit)

2021-07-16T19:34:00.005+05:30

Key ingredients—the core building blocks

So, there I was, sitting with a few of my coursemates from academy days last weekend. Many of the officers from my course are Colonels now and are commanding units. We were meeting after 18 years (wow!), and it seemed as if not a day had passed. After a few rounds of you know what, the question came up, “Rajat, what’s the one thing that defence veterans can easily bank upon in the corporate world?”

When it comes to the “one thing” question, firstly it reminds me of the book, “The One Thing,” but then I’m digressing. I’ve been asked that question before and my answer has always been the same. It’s the DWIT attitude, the “Do what it takes” mentality which is ingrained into us right from the training academy days (across all services). Well, the acronym DWIT isn’t my creation obviously, but the framework below is essentially my POV. With respect to business, it’s a quality that isn’t taught in MBA or academic courses. Of course, there are many professionals who develop this attitude with experience, but it’s one aspect which I’d say is a given for veterans. It’s the one thing that really helps in achieving business outcomes. And, I’m not talking about the basic definition of the phrase. There are certain underlying aspects (listed below) that are not typically stated.

D stands for being a doer (yes, that’s a word). Whatever the objective might be, focus on the first step and act. The emphasis is on taking action, i.e. not just talking in the air, or going into analysis paralysis, but taking the first step, and keep going in spite of roadblocks.

W stands for having the willpower and willingness to achieve the goal (aka determination), which is the essence of the framework in letter and spirit. If I compare it with various IT services delivery models, this is a typical managed services or managed outcome model where you take complete ownership of the outcome and do what it takes to deliver (of course there’s a premium and other aspects to it). Having the perseverance to pursue an objective is what this entails.

I stands for integrity, and this is a key underlying principle blanked out by a few. I remember, back at National Defence Academy, in the first term one of my seniors spoke about this towards the end of a punishment session. It was a fun time for him, not so much for us. “You guys will be trained on how to manage things—getting things done, one way or the other,” he said, while we were rolling on the ground helter-skelter. “You might be asked to get something urgently, and hear the phrase BBS, or beg, borrow, steal.” That caught our attention, and some of us stopped rolling and looked up. “Keep rolling,” he exclaimed and continued, “Remember that the last word in BBS is figurative. At the end of the day, if your hull integrity is gone, sooner or later you are going to sink.” He was obviously a naval cadet, but it was evident what he meant. We’ve all heard about stories where some companies haven’t really lived up to that aspect, which is unfortunate. Do what it takes to achieve your objective, yes, but it should be within the confines of what is correct.

T stands for understanding your target or objective (know thy enemy, maybe). Many times, we end up pursuing certain line of actions without a clear vision of the end goal. Has that ever happened to you? Of course it has, and that’s fine but not always. If something is really so important that you need to DWIT, then understand your objective and its consequences. Is it worth it? At what cost? And, of course there are many other defining questions.

Can everyone apply these principles? Yes, of course. When founded on the core element of integrity, DWIT is an amazing superpower to have, but not something learnt overnight. Once you have it, sky is only the lower limit, yours is the universe.

P.S: DWIT also refers to being able to “Deal With IT” when things go awry. We might do what it takes to achieve our goals, but we all know “Life”. Life is iffy, as I keep saying. There will be times when you do what it takes, but life throws a spanner in the works. At that point in time, all that we can do is accept, deal with it, personify resilience and move on. But that’s another topic, perhaps for another day.

Ciao ppl!

Ciao Life!!

P.S.2: Comments welcome here or on Linkedin

Follow your passion—life follows you: a few words on C.L.A.W.

2021-05-06T01:27:00.009+05:30

It’s been a while, yes, and in line with the heading above, I’ll try to pen down here more often. Thankfully, my core job is founded in writing so I do get to follow my passion anyway.

Now, getting to the point, a few months back I got an email from one of my well-wishers who had read my book. She mentioned about a site called C.L.A.W. Global and asked for me to check it out. Well, I did and realized that it was the brainchild of one of my NDA seniors (from back in 1999), Major Vivek Jacob, who is a Special Forces veteran.

I then connected immediately, and it was inspiring to hear about not only his exciting-difficult-fulfilling experience in the Special Forces, but also the fact that he turned an event in his life (that led to leaving the Forces) into an inspiring mission. Yes, not surprising given he was a Foxy (my Foxtrot squadron in NDA👦), but something that made me respect his fighting spirit and passion even more.

CLAW Global, as anyone can see on the web is on an inspiring mission to achieve something bold. They ARE going to achieve a Triple Elemental World Record in adaptive adventure sports with People of Disabilities (PwDs) around the globe. In their own words, "We are not victims of the elements...we are the elements."

As I’ve shared in a few forums dealing with the topics of PwD, most recently for a virtual webinar for NHRD (4:00 mins into the video), it’s all in the mind. PwDs are people who are dealing with certain conditions, not only on a daily basis, but every moment of their lives. And yet, they have decided that this condition will not define who they are; they will define who they are. It's all in the mind.

It’s an inspiring mission that the team of Special Forces veterans is on. Taking this mission to a global level—at a humanity level, speaks highly of the passion that fuels this group. I went through a few of the inspiring interviews of Jacob sir, and a few where he was brutally honest about his entire journey (and the way he communicated it) are these ones: TRS 103 and TRS 104 😊. I wish this group of Special Forces volunteers the very best, and look forward to join them one day.

It is exciting when one has passion.
It is meaningful when one has purpose.
An impact is created when passion meets purpose.

Ciao life!

Ciao ppl!

The Power of "Like attracts Like"

2017-12-22T22:30:00.000+05:30

What if I tell you that things can change—for better? Things might be just fine for you—right now—as you read, but what if things could be better tomorrow as well? And, an year down the line?

So, I’m writing this post today because well honestly, I do have a personal agenda—the desire to share my thought process, story, and understanding of life, and make an impact in somebody else's life. Why today? Because, December 22nd marks the 13th anniversary of my accident and technically a birthday in a way.

Now, the idea put simply is, "Like attracts Like." Eureka moment? What a discovery? Nah, I agree, not really. But here's the thing—if you want positive outcomes in life, your environment has to be conducive for these outcomes. It's proven both by two distinct branches of science—Neuroscience (conditioning of mind, affirmations) and Pseudoscience (law of attraction).

We all know that the law of gravity exists, whether you believe it or not. You take one step forward from the edge of a 10m board in swimming pool, you will fall down. Just like that, law of attraction exists, whether you believe it or not.

Imagine for a moment, humor me, imagine that a Mr. Sid is having a conversation with "Life" (feel free to read "Sid" as "You"….only if you want).

Sid: "Hey Life, I need a jar full of 100 beautiful red colored balls with a + sign."

Life: "Sure,why not Sid, here's a gift wrapped jar full of 100 balls. You're free to do what you want with the balls in your jar."

Sid removes the packaging happily and opens it up. It turns out that the jar is full of + sign red balls, and - sign black balls. He turns towards Life with a frown.

Sid: "Life! I wanted 100 + sign red balls in my jar. Can I have more + sign red balls?"

Life: "Sure, why not, here's a shower of 1000s of + sign red balls. You're free to do what you want with the balls in your jar."

Precisely as Life said, there's a huge shower of + sign red balls over the jar. They're so many that the entire jar is covered in the pile of red balls. Sid happily fishes for the jar, picks it and looks inside. The frown is back.

Sid: "Life! I made it clear that I want + sign red balls in my jar. This jar still has the same amount of + red and – black balls as before. Give me more please."

Life: "Sure, why not, I have no shortage of + sign red balls. Here's another shower of 1000 for you. Remember, you're free to do what you want with the balls in your jar."

Yes, the same thing happens and Sid is distraught. After 100 more tries there's no result and Life keeps saying the same thing. Not able to fathom why he can't have more + sign red balls, he seeks advice from a learned saint.

The sagely saint says calmly with deep breath and a knowing smile, "Sid....dude, you're free to do what you want with the balls in your jar. Remove all the – sign black ones and make space for the + sign red ones. Simple?"

I'll stop at that; let's come out of this conversation. If we want good things to happen and positive outcomes to materialize, we have to minimize all the negative thoughts, uncertain doubts and negative vibes.

Safely assuming evolution to be a continuous improvement model, it's a reasonable conclusion that there's an unlimited supply of positive energy flowing across the universe. It's there when you wake up, there when you take a walk and there when you go to sleep. Like air, it's just there. If you keep living with a jar full of x% of + and y% of – sign balls, and keep cursing fate, luck and what not, for not letting you have more +ve, guess what—"you are free to do what you want with the balls in your jar".

Make space.

So, what does it mean to you? What change can you bring practically? Does it mean one should never have -ve thoughts? No.

What this means is that we need to modify our thinking to be more hopeful, more positive, look at the brighter side, remove that frown, put on more smiles, express more gratitude and words to that effect.

Does this guarantee success + happiness? No!

Does this channel you towards the right path for success + happiness? Sure, why not!

In your own time, I'd suggest you to read further into the law of attraction and the abundance principle. For the pro-factual science folks, read about how conditioning and positive affirmations can change you as an individual.

Good things are waiting to happen, only awaiting a conducive environment for them to happen. Open the jar >> remove the – sign balls >> make space for more + sign balls >> then seek and thy shall receive.

Ciao life !!

Ciao ppl !!

"Wow, what an amazing facility"

2016-01-16T14:38:00.001+05:30

That’s what I said - ”Wow, what an amazing facility,” when my better half told me a few days back, about her walk to the main road to get some stuff. Well, I was lying on the hospital bed with the right leg in a plaster, so the case in point was - “the ability to walk.” It’s really funny, how we get engrossed in the idiosyncrasies of life, take things for granted and don’t appreciate what we have. Last month during Chennai floods, we both said the same thing -“what an amazing facility”, when the electricity board went finally up n running and declared by night - “let there be light!”

I have definitely said this before in my blog; it’s something ingrained in our DNA. Typically, we appreciate the value of things only after they’re taken away. Life is iffy, iffy as it can be. Being ambitious is good, cribbing sometimes is just fine, but it’s best if we learn to appreciate (ALWAYS) what we have in hand. Yes, that (the 'always' part) is an ideal world scenario, but we can at least resolve to take that road and see where that takes us.

P.S: On a different note, thank you for all the "appreciation" mails for my book. I'm really honored by all the love and good wishes.

Ciao ppl!!

Ciao Life!!

A common Question on my book...

2015-12-13T12:41:00.000+05:30

Q. "Sir, training from the Army probably worked for you, but how easy is it for a regular person to take this approach?"
Ans. It's a very relevant question that I've been asked in various forms & forums. My answer is really straight forward - in spite of the training, I was and still am a regular (common man) person, and I reiterate - "It's all in the mind".
The answer really lies in our ability and willingness to change our thought process and approach to life. Sharp shooting, Rock climbing, Para sailing are skills that you have to learn via external means (not in everyone's reach). But what I'm talking about can be done by anyone - right now as I'm typing this and right not while you're reading it. Discipline towards an objective, perseverance (not giving up) and having a positive attitude is a conscious decision made by your mind.
I'm not saying it's easy, just saying that with focused efforts anyone can be strong willed and positive in terms of default reactions to the iffy idiosyncrasies of life. Do this consciously for 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 and sooner, that reaction will be the default one in the mind. I'm getting kind of preachy now :), but really, if I can do it, anybody can - it's all in the mind.

"CAN I HAVE A CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE?"

2015-10-09T18:46:00.001+05:30

Yes, my book is out there now. It has been a long persistent effort over the last couple of years (bandwidth issues and stuff like that!). It all started when a number of well-wishers suggested that I should write a book. It was an amazing experience - going back in time (right to the NDA days), remembering how events shaped up, and through to some funny and not-so-funny experiences. The book has evolved over the period. The aim was always the same - enable me to justify this 2nd life, tone was always the same - light-hearted and not preachy, and the message still remains the same - "It's all in the mind."

So, Siddhant (my fictional name) starts his journey from the NDA and traverses through the adventurous life, with every day at NDA (and IMA thereafter), molding the pliable mind into that of an ideal Officer. Without getting into specifics, while many readers of this blog would be aware of some of the twists and turns before and after my accident (right up to IIM A), it would suffice to say that the story has elements of Inspiration, Action, Humor, Tragedy, and (ahem!) Romance.
.
I hope everyone enjoys reading it, even more than I did (penning it down). Please let me know if you liked it (or even otherwise), and do share your reviews at Amazon (direct link), or Goodreads (direct link).

Blurb from the back cover:
How would you feel if, one day, you wake up in a hospital to the faces of doctors and nurses? How would you react when you see your dreams shattering right in front of your eyes? And what would go through your mind when you’re barred from pursuing your passion? Crushed and devastated from within? Meet Lt. Siddhant, an epitome of courage and spirit, who woke up to all this one morning and yet remained composed, when told that his right arm has been amputated post a fateful accident. An average human would collapse, but Lt. Siddhant, an Indian Army officer asked, “Can I have a Chocolate Milkshake?”
This is the true-story of Lt. Siddhant, who when asked to shed his Olive Greens thereafter, goes on to build a successful career in the Corporate world and becomes an inspiration for many. But, how did he get there? How did he win his battle? “Can I have a Chocolate Milkshake” is a riveting tale of a man overcoming his limitations, fighting against all odds, and emerging as a winner.

Buy the book from:
The book is available in both print and e-book formats across countries. you can buy it from:
Notionpress: Paperback
Amazon.com: Kindle US, Paperback US, Kindle India, Paperback India
Other sources on the website

Other Key links:
My Website book page
Facebook Page

Goodreads page

In addition to all my near-dear ones and well-wishers, I would also like to thank my publishers - Notionpress for helping me in embodying my book.

Ciao ppl!
Ciao Life!

"Purposeful" Running

2015-04-26T15:32:00.001+05:30

Today morning during the cooling down after the morning run, I was wondering- why do I run in spite of "that pain"? That "pain"- well, just to clarify, I don’t wear my right shoulder (dead weight) while running so that’s not the issue; it’s those tiny screws embedded in the right ankle that hurt post the run (thankfully not during). I don’t run every day; generally have late working nights during the week, but do make it a point to run every Sunday early morning.

Anyway, the question I posed was – why do I run? Why? (Reminds me of - "Why Mr. Anderson, why?") What’s the purpose/motivation? Yes it’s an old habit from the good ol’ Army days, but that’s not the answer. I know many people fond of running, and there are even those high-spirited ones that love running on the face of adverse circumstances. Everyone has different reasons behind their motivation, which is needed 'coz running is pure hard work, no cutting corners. In my case, the pain lasts for some time in the feet and then vanishes, but that’s a cost I’m willing to pay for d ‘objective’. I concluded that the answer (for me) is twofold- (i) running is one of the best exercises for self-judging one’s determination quotient and (ii) I’m the only one ‘Responsible’ & ‘Accountable’ for my body.

I follow bouts of purposeful running and auto-pilot mode. Purposeful running is when I’m consciously aware of the push from every step of the run, incremental push from swing of the left hand, and aware of the fact that this effort is adding value. Of course, bouts of auto mode are also fun where the body just moves with the flow, and focus is more on the lyrics of the song in the playlist (from the headphone).

One of my favorite sayings is – “Stretch your limits once a while, lest you lose your elasticity”. Running helps in keeping that spirit alive, especially because it tests the determination to go on when you can just stop and walk or jog. Really, who’s watching? How does it matter to anyone else? It’s only our own ‘will’ that can make us keep going. By the same token, it’s our value system that helps in making the ‘right’ decision when no one’s watching, but then I’m digressing here (apologies). All said and done, we are answerable/accountable to our body (personifying it as a separate entity), and I just want to make sure- mine gives me a good rating during performance appraisal :).

Ciao ppl!

Ciao life!

P.S: Well, it also helps in negating d sugar intake from my affinity towards good dark chocolate :).

Only 18% of events in Life are predestined

2015-01-17T02:20:00.000+05:30

Before getting into the source and methodology of the study, let me bring up the 18% theory. “Only major milestones in life are predestined, rest is all defined by the choices we make, path we take and words to that effect”. According to this research, only 18% of the events in life (major + minor), which are within the subset of “major events”, are predetermined/predestined. One can feel happy about the ‘good’ major events in this 18%, but for the ‘bad’ ones there’s no sense in fretting over it, since it was bound to happen anyway. This theory is based on a strong internal locus of control on the happenings in life. So, most of what happens in our lives, is basically a sum-product of choices that ‘we’ make.

Now, this research that came to the conclusion of the magic number – 18% was done by an entity called “A-Number-Makes-It-Easier-For-The-Mind-To-Grasp.com”. Yeah, it’s not a statistically validated number, but something that hits the mind faster (vis-à-vis ‘small’, ‘less’, etc.). The theory is basically a combination of ‘free will’ and destiny, both subject to endless debates (that end inconclusively).

Let me take my own example. I strongly believe that ‘the accident’ was inevitable- perhaps it would have happened differently in a many-universes interpretation (quantum mechanics), but it was bound to happen. So I do not go into the “what-if” mode, with a sad look on the face every now and then. However, everything that happened after that was a factor of conscious choices that I had made.

Everything cannot be predestined, since that removes the human experience (and choice) entirely out of the equation, and everything would be programmed by the one above. Everything can’t be up to ‘free will’, since that makes the equation very unstable (with only variables), and people will then go into an endless loop of the “What-if” syndrome.

We always have a choice- the choice to do what is right (disclaimer-definition of ‘right’ is subjective). Events in life are essentially the sum of these choices that we make. In hindsight, we might realize that some of these choices weren’t really choices, and that thing was predestined; but that’s a small number. So that’s that on the topic. Yes, some milestones in life are predestined and already carved into the road, but it’s up to you to ensure that the road ‘as such’ continues to remain smooth and not patchy, through the journey.

Ciao ppl!

Ciao life!

It's been a decade !!

2014-12-22T23:45:00.000+05:30

Dear 'Rest of me':

It's been a long time. Of course I remembered my second birthday- Dec 22nd 2004, but the realization came only now that it's been 10 years. Phew!

I'm sometimes surprised by how there are days where I don't have any feeling that you are missing- at all, and life just goes on. At the cost of immodesty, I do admire the way my training and approach to life doesn't let anything seem amiss. But buddy, there are days when I look at the mirror and ask myself- "Dude, where's the rest of you? Really?"

Earlier tonight, Rishika was playing on the bed and said, "Mamma has 2 hands, I have 2 hands, you have 1 hand." I wasn't wearing my hand. I smiled and was about to give the standard story that I tell kids- how my artificial prosthesis is a stronger hand that I got replaced. They generally touch and agree that it is stronger. But she just continued after a brief pause, in a tone of placating me, "your 2nd hand is in that room. Tomorrow you wear it, then you'll also have 2 hands." The sentences weren't so complete of course :). She gave a smile of absolute simplicity and peace of mind. I might be over-reading it, but I'm glad that she has the same fighter spirit.

Sorry for digressing, coming back to you buddy. Yes, I miss you very much. I'll always have the regret of not getting to see you one last time (because I was busy dying and getting resuscitated). I fondly reminisce all the good times we spent as "One", especially during Academy and Fauj days. Needless to say, you completed me buddy. Love you, always!

Ciao ppl!
Ciao life!

What is your differentiator??

2014-11-06T16:52:00.002+05:30

I found myself asking this question today (what is your differentiator), when I looked at the mirror. Well, a full length mirror always induces the question of- "dude...what happened?" but this wasn't one of those days. Anyway, that's a different thought chain altogether. Many of us might have come across this question- in interviews, competitions, business (from a company's USP perspective) and other spheres of life. As I dwelled on it, the mental discussion became interesting. The initial 'differentiators' that came up, were all tangible ones - data points one puts on a CV. However, my mind then started questioning on every line item one by one- "how many people do you know that can do that or have done that?" Well, not surprisingly enough, I knew hundreds of people (at least thru social media if not personally) on every point.

So, there I was, back to construal mode.

I realized that well, my differentiator wasn't A, B, or R, but how I've used A, B and R to become 9. It's not that no one else can do the same and get A + B + R to become 9, people can. What matters then and what makes me different is- as a 9, how I've impacted events/people/organizations (positively of course), or how (and if) I've enabled others to get to the A, B, or R (the greater good). The quick takeaway- our differentiators are not the historical data points from events in the past (achievements), but how and what we have done with them to get to where/who we are. Potentially, also how we intend to use that to get where we want to go.

Leaving everyone with a thought- I have my answer and will keep building on it further, do you have yours?

P.S: BTW, my 9 is not out of 10 :), it's just a number amongst the many others.

Ciao ppl !

Ciao life !

Quick update on…. My Book

2014-07-02T14:45:00.000+05:30

Well, thought of coming back to my blog with a quick update- My 'Book' is done... finally (finished writing/reviewing).
So, as many of you might know, my book is basically…well…my story. It’s a semi-fiction and the name of my character is Siddhant. It starts right from my NDA days with all the experiences, ups and downs, the accident, thru to IIM A. The core theme is inspirational and has elements of adventure, lot of humor and ahem…romance too. Tried to keep it funny, interesting and not preachy at all :), since it’s a real story. Many of my blog posts, which actually went up and down the sine curve as things happened, are part of the book as well.

There were those times of… I’ve taken out 1 hr, let me write the book right now…oh this dialogue was said by Chandler in Friends…which season was it… let me google…that was a good one…let me see the episode… No! No! let me focus… oh! office mail on BB… let me quickly respond… oh! this is also due today… what happened to that office mail, let me follow up… shucks! My 1 hr for book is over… okies some other day maybe… :) .. Well, finally I'm done...

Otherwise life is good, Rishika is growing up fast and becoming naughtier than ever. It was so difficult to take out time…really :). But finally did it, thanks to the support from my better half, Richa.

I’ll be sending it out of my inbox probably in the next 1-2 weeks, and then would be a long waiting period before it gets published. I would like to thank all of you- all of the anonymous and known well-wishers, who kept me motivated to finish the book :).

Ciao ppl!!

Ciao life!!

A cute little princess has arrived....

2012-01-17T17:06:00.000+05:30

It’s a great…

It’s a great feeling…

It’s a great feeling to be…

It’s a great feeling to be a Dad…

It sure feels great to be a Dad and I thank God for bringing our darling princess into this world on 02-01-2012. The feeling that the two of us and everyone around here have, can’t really be described in words. Yeah well nevertheless, this is the first blog post about herJ. Life’s changing for good, lot of responsibilities, lot of dreams, lot of sleepless nights (more so for the mom of course), lot of sweet smiles, looks of absolute surprise, and lot of cries. After considerable amount of discussions we've decided upon her name- Rishika.

We thank everyone for all the blessings and best wishes. Here’s to you, our precious, the first few words dedicated to you:

The moment you came into being on January the second,

The life changing milestone, struck a conspicuous melodious note;

From then you’ve been the cynosure every minute every second,

There’s none beautiful than thou our baby, ‘The One’ we’ll always dote.

There was a gust of adrenalin rush in our body aplenty,

The first time you looked straight at us, with those beauteous eyes;

The first smile you ever smiled inadvertently,

Was like a thousand rainbows splashing across the sweet blue skies.

Rishika, thine is this life to live to the fullest,

May you flow like musical notes off a humming guitar;

May you soar high in the sky, through Life’s troughs and crests,

And have the sheen of the shiniest star.

- - God bless you

Stuck on first page, second chapter- My Book

2011-05-04T18:59:00.003+05:30

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged and seems like I’m saying this way too often. But then that’s the way the cookie crumbles. I started penning down the structure of ‘My book’ quite some time back and the post on Facebook stating – ‘completed the first chapter of my book’, came up three months back. I guess I’ve mentioned it earlier that the book is based on my life’s sine curve itself; hopefully more interesting than that though ;). It’s designed on a story model- present tense majorly. The plan is there, thoughts are there, key points are there and characters are there. What is messing it up is- ‘Lack of Time’ and the good old ‘external influencers’. Figuratively speaking I have a bow and set of 7 arrows laid out. I shot the first one few months back, but the target kept shifting and the wind kept on moving it haywire; finally letting the target hit head-on three months back. Two weeks back I shot the second arrow, but this time the external influences are way stronger; there are too many distracters.

But then again if there are additional distracters in life that keep moving our arrows away from the target, we also have arrows enabled with boosters now (and let’s not talk about guided missiles). The major distracters are of course the big issues and obligations; ‘job’, ‘personal problems’ being just one of those. If this is not distracting enough, there are all these minor distractions- some good, some bad. Yesterday I tweeted my first tweet and linked the twitter account to my Galaxy S android 2.2 phone, blackberry phone, Linkedin profile, FB profile and Yahoo. I mean, how many different ways does one need to be connected; funny Huh !

Anyway, it’s on me to make sure that the boosters are sent out to my second arrow at the right time and right place. It might pass through the pressure of an underwater current at times, but the aim is to hit the target as soon as possible. Wishing luck to myself...

Ciao ppl !! Ciao life !!

Some more lines for my...

2010-12-21T13:22:00.002+05:30

Penned down a few lines for my better half on her b’day- Dec 17th :

When I look back at the days gone by,
I wonder what it is, that always gives me a high;
What makes me laugh at times, or partway smile a smile,
What makes me sad at times, but makes the ‘making-up’ worthwhile

The mot juste answer as we all know,
Is not hidden away from thy eyes to see;
It’s my “someone special”, beautiful as ever,
Beautiful than anyone else, could ever be;

I love you my honey, and you too know,
That this ‘love’ divine, is only to grow;
I adore the fact, that you love me so,
And to this precious ‘love’, I do bow;

God must have spent hours and hours,
Perfecting his magnum opus, going crazy;
When he was thinking about true ‘beauty’,
And the varied elements of my beautiful lady;

With you, every day of my life is a lucky day,
To you, I’ll make all happiness in the world befall;
I need not even say, but I still will say,
You’ll always be- MY belle of the ball.

The axis of Ataraxis: Peace of mind

2010-09-27T11:41:00.008+05:30

I’ve been trying for really long, to write something on the unending quest for ‘Peace of Mind’ (PoM) that we all have. We define it in different ways depending on what we’re striving for, and the path that we’re walking on. It’s that state of eternal bliss, even if it’s for five minutes, when everything’s going right and you have no worries- at all. In our daily lives, where there is something or the other that’s waiting to be a cause of worry, it’s important to get your own PoM. There have been innumerable times when I’ve literally shouted at the top of a muted voice- “I want my Peace of Mind”. All that I’ve got in response is- “Chill buddy, so does everyone” :). I’m referring by ‘we/us’ to all of us going about our day-to-day lives, not those who have already traversed over to the path of spirituality. They already are at the ataraxis, and don’t need to endure life’s tribulations. One obviously cannot get PoM by earning more, or getting what you want; because as we all know, human desires have no end. When I come to think of it, a few years back when I made the decision of IIM A vs. ISB, I got my PoM at the moment the decision was taken. That was because the source of tension itself was removed. Now that doesn’t happen always that we get what we want, does it :)?

Practically speaking, all said and done it is not difficult to get your ‘Peace of Mind’, as long as we are aware that this is just a ‘state’ of being and being there for even a short period of time can do wonders. We cannot straightaway ‘sign out’ from our life with all its paraphernalia of relationships, responsibilities, joy and pain. What we can do is to have the ability of pressing the ‘pause’ button on life. When everything is going wrong and you feel like saying out loud- “I want my Peace of Mind”, just press ‘Pause’. Go out of the immediate surroundings to the balcony or another room and close your eyes; most importantly- ‘shut down’ your thoughts on what’s happening (be it an argument, a fight, or any other source of tension). Stop thinking about it, and think of nothingness- the space beyond space- what we call 'meditation'. For some this is when they think about God and find peace there. The aim is to stop thinking about all the tensions that you’re having and be mentally at peace. This will not solve the problem/ finish of the argument with your spouse ;)/ resolve your issues. But what this will do, is to take you to that place of eternal bliss, give you Peace of Mind for those 5-10mins, and give you the energy to handle all the disquiets. It will also give you the ability to look at your problems/ arguments/ issues and make you think whether they’re really worth fretting so much over, and wasting precious moments of your life brooding over it. This is not the only way ofcourse, once you’ve pressed the ‘Pause’ button- some get to this state by listening to their favourite songs, some by listening to the chant of ‘Om’, and yet others by sitting on the beach and looking at the ocean (and the likes). What matters is that we should realize that the means to the end of getting PoM need not only be by fulfilling desires/ ambitions. Even when things are going wrong all around, we can get to the axis of ataraxis by pressing ‘Pause’ on Life.

Ciao ppl !!
Ciao life !!

Two cents on Life- Never giving up: 'The Attitude'

2010-05-28T20:17:00.004+05:30

Dear Life,

You took me up, you brought me down,
When the ship broke up, you said- “Don’t drown”;

I carried on, I swam along,
Evinced tenacity, made up an imbuing song;

I won’t give up ‘Life’, I won’t let go,
You taught me so, and for that, I do bow;

You may again raze my ship ‘Life’, or becloud every dawn,
All I would say is- “Sh*t happens and Life goes on”.

I penned down these lines some time back during my MBA days at IIM A (one of the blogs below), when my ‘ship’ was on the upper wave of the sine curve. From the days of training during the dark hours at the National Defence Academy, to leading men in operations in the Army, to lying on the hospital bed badly mutilated after coming back from the dead, to joining a premier league B-school; this ship has ‘been there-done that’. The one thing that has fuelled this ship all along is the attitude towards life. We have heard this phrase so many times in our daily lives- ‘Never give up’, or going up a further level- ‘Never Never Never - Ever Give Up’. It so happens that many of us don’t get a chance to say this often, and these lines mean nothing more than a very powerful phrase. Some people test the waters flowing in their system by going through strenuous experiences like mountain climbing, and the likes. It does not matter when and how you get to test this attitude, what matters is- having the attitude of not letting go. Experiences might vary in terms of degree of intensity, duration or importance vis-à-vis the big picture. The big test comes when one encounters the unexpected and needs to live out the word- ‘perseverance’. All said and done, ‘Life’ is iffy. It starts by welcoming you onboard the ship with other passengers and your journey of life begins. At times, all of you go through a tempestuous weather, wherein you think that this is it and things cannot get worse than this. Next day things are back to normal and you sail along the journey, happy as (you) can be. Life then takes you up a level further and throws you overboard. You may know how to swim or you may not, whatever be the case you keep struggling. At this juncture there are some of us, who think that- I don’t know how to swim; I’m far away from the ship; I’m totally fatigued and there’s no use of trying any further. This is where people who have the attitude of ‘Never say die’, keep trying. They might have similar thoughts- I don’t know how to swim; I’m far away from the ship and I’m totally fatigued. However, their next thought is- I am still alive and as long as I have the last drop of energy in me, I’ll keep trying. These are the people who live the never give up attitude for as long as, and as much as they can. Life then throws a lifeboat for both categories of people, but both the lifeboats lead you to different ships that are on different routes of life. The journey begins again, and some time down the line, ‘life’ rocks the boat again, and the cycle goes on until you get to the end of the journey. One’s attitude defines the actions and the thought process defines the attitude – It's ALL in the mind. What matters is the way you handle the situation when everything seems to be going wrong, and it looks as though the universe has turned against you. This is where one needs to keep holding on to that log of wood (if you find one), say to yourself- “This too shall pass...”, and carry on. There is no limit to human endurance; it’s all in the mind.....

Ciao ppl..
Ciao Life..

The Lifeboats: 'Hope' and 'Determination'

2009-09-15T19:59:00.005+05:30

After a really long time, returned today to pen down a few thoughts here. I was just looking back at those times yesterday; trying to understand what saw me through the storm and brought me to where I am today. There were many factors that I can attribute this to. I’d penned down a few lines on this blog sometime back (Link)- ‘When the ship broke down, you said don’t drown; I carried on…’. The fact is that when I survived that ship wreck (figuratively speaking) and decided to swim along, it wasn’t just the will power or luck, or blessings alone; it was in mathematical terms, a ‘union’ of all the factors. The two key factors that constitute ‘will power’, when things all around you are going wrong, are: ‘hope’ and ‘determination’. All other factors either depend on these, or contribute to strengthen these.

‘Hope’ per se is not sufficient for anyone to sail through, because for all you know, one can hope for anything and everything. It has to be supported by ‘determination’ to actually believe in it. This determination might come from one’s understanding of the situation (what went wrong/ what next), the options available, mental and psychological support one has, etc. and most importantly the faith one has in his/ her own capability. In those days while I was on the hospital bed, there were several thoughts of ‘what next, where do I go from here’. I was totally new to the world outside the green uniform and it was the environment around me (sister, mother, friends...) that showed me the choices I had. The route I decided to take had a high element of risk; and was one of the toughest ones to take. This was where the ‘determination’ came in. It didn’t come JLT as they say (Just Like That), but after a lot of due diligence on what was required out of me and knowing that come what may,- ‘I could and have to do it’.

It is the combined force of these two factors that can help one sail through troubled waters. It’s the ‘Hope’ that you will ‘get’ through and ‘determination’ that you ‘will’ get through, that combine and make sure that you ‘will get’ through...

Ciao ppl !!
Ciao Life !!

Married...and on Cloud 9

2009-07-21T22:14:00.009+05:30

Coming back to blog on the blog after a long time, really long time…. Had my one month anniversary recently and life couldn’t have been better….. The entire ‘marriage process’ was exciting and interesting.… From the pre-pre marriage preparations to pre-marriage…. to the ‘marriage’ and post marriage celebrations…. Very tiring yes, but it was something we’d been waiting for a long time….It’s a great feeling to know that that someone is there and will be there for you, no matter what; just as you will be there for her…..These days no one blinks an eye the moment I leave office (dot on time or even before), even if that means taking calls from home…home has got altogether a new meaning now :) …. So many things have changed…for the good that is…

All married men keep saying that this is only the beginning, slowly things fade away… I don’t plan to walk that road though…. I still believe that keeping a relationship alive and fresh is in the hands of the people holding it…..Thanks everyone for the good wishes. Here are some of my marriage pics:

http://picasaweb.google.co.in/rajat.the.one/ReceptionMrgPics#

Got Engaged !! :)

2009-04-01T22:10:00.006+05:30

So finally, here comes the post I’ve been waiting to write for so long… status on Orkut became committed on April 27th, got engaged on 29th and getting married in June. Everything happened so fast, hardly any time to enjoy the news as it came… So here goes the update of the when and how. We first came to know each other around one and a half years back . In the mid of the first year, I was a part of the hospitality cell of Chaos Nasha 2008 (our cultural festival at IIM A), I had to flood my 'colleges of responsibility' with scraps on Orkut for contact information for the fest. She happened to be an alum of one of those colleges and that was the beginning of an era, so to say. And the interaction moved from scraps…to chats…to calls…to the first meet and meets thereafter...to the first exchange of the three words and the proposal...so that’s how (in a few words)...
A day prior to the convocation, on April 27th, went to meet my in-laws with mom and sis. There was that inherent tension/ uneasiness before reaching, but it slowly melted away and we ended up fixing the month of the marriage as June. Flew back to Ahmedabad the next day for convocation on April 28th and the same day it was decided that we should get engaged right now itself (of-course, both of us didn’t mind that at all…), So off we were back the next day and the ring ceremony was performed on April 29th. Here are the pics (Link)…
Feels great…after a long and patient wait… with uncertainty forming a noose…. with God's grace and everyone's well wishes, it happened very smoothly. As my course (Army batch) completes 6yrs after commissioning (14 June 2003) and all of them get the rank of a Major, I’d also be moving on to my next stage of life in the same month…
Long way to go….
Ciao ppl
Ciao life

An Alum again... IIM A

2009-04-01T22:04:00.002+05:30

So I’m an alum now (Pics)...the student life is technically over. When I’d joined the NDA, had thought- ‘Goodbye to studies’…and I just passed out of the most studies-oriented institute I know of, in the country. It has been quite an experience, for the lack of words. I had seen myself stretch to the limit of physical endurance in the NDA days and knew that there is actually no such limit. It’s all in the mind, as they say. The same rigor happened in a different way in the first year at IIM A and a different set of skills were required to swim through the same. In both the places, when things became really impossible (1^st&2^nd term at NDA, 1^st semester at IIM A), seniors built up the morale by just saying that so many people have got through…you will also survive…just keep your head above the water, keep swimming and don’t give up. A few countable numbers did give up both the times, but rest of the batch sailed through and went on to become smart officers and good managers respectively.

I made a great number of life-long friends in both the schools of learning. In NDA there were endless nights and days that we spent together…helping each other in tough times, enjoying punishments and living through them by giving mutual support, having parties, socials and great fun in spite of all circumstances. Even at IIM A we spent endless nights having group meets, presentations, great fun, endless movies on the LAN…The bondage that was developed in these two institutes is so strong that one would go out of his way to help another coursemate.

I would really cherish the moments spent in this institute…those 0100hrs group meets that actually began at 0200hrs after yapping around and finishing off the work in the last 1 hour…ordering maggi in the midnight and rambhai’s midnight chai…those 23:59:59 deadlines and WAC run…the rem sessions of MANAC& the lunch time MANAC quiz notice….the experience of T-nite and d section bonding….the God-level professors and the die-hard sleepers of section B…helping out each other in times of stress…watching movies in parts every day in spite of the routine…the list goes on and on and on to the day we stood in the LKP with the degree in hand watching each of our batchmate walking past us…Those were the fleet of ships that fleeted right through the storm and came out in flying colours…

This is the beginning of an end…another beginning to another end…whereupon I step into a new pair of shoes, dawning on another role…

Ciao ppl

Ciao life

All the world's a stage... & spilled milk...

2009-03-21T13:27:00.003+05:30

Read a science fiction yesterday and it reinforced the stand I have towards fretting over spilled milk. The novel was ‘To say nothing of the Dog’ by Connie Willis (Download link). It’s based on time travel into the past, and how the protagonists try to undo a change that causes an imbalance in the working of the space-time continuum. The system self corrected the incongruity by changing a few minor events but keeping the major events constant. As per the storyline the concept of even freewill was questioned. Nevertheless, I believe that all big things in life are predestined and one cannot go about thinking of what If ‘A’ hadn’t happened, and ‘B’ had happened instead. That’s not the way life works. Probably what the novel also talks about in a way is that the script (All the world’s a stage...) is already written and one can’t go about changing the theme that is the heart of the story for a character. Some time back I used to think- what If the driver of that fateful tractor had become late due to whatever reasons, what If I had left the place earlier by say 5 minutes or what If I had stayed put inside the cantonment and not have been driving in the first place, and the likes. However, as many movies based on the theme (like the ‘Final Destination’ series) have tried to state, you can’t change your script. Everyone plays his part in the grand design. It’s something like you have to go from A to Z in your life. On an average, everyone’s B, C, D... comes at various points of time and also to a different extent. What is left to freewill is how you go about going from B to C, C to D etc.

What one can do is to firstly live the part one’s playing, that is- enjoy doing what one does. Secondly, there are choices that one makes: there’s always a choice (Link). Once you make that choice weighing the situation, stand by it and don’t have any regrets (even if you have any). If the choice was right, good for you and if it was wrong, it’s a sunk cost. As the adage goes, ‘don’t cry over spilled milk’...taking it forward, we needn’t even keep thinking what we would have done had it not been spilled.
Ciao ppl !!
Ciao Life !!

A few lines....

2009-02-14T00:19:00.005+05:30

Few lines dedicated on this valentine, to that someone....

I was walking a lonely path, aloof and alone;

Bliss was the next stop, I hadn’t known.

Then came an angel, brighter than thy eyes could see;

I asked of myself, could this be ‘The one’ for me?

Side by side we walked along;

Nights seemed shorter, days seemed long.

Time whizzed by and distances began to pare;

Sure enough, there was something in the air.

One fine day, the momentous moment came;

When cupid struck, the dude and the dame.

Sweet words flew across, that beauteous night;

Those starry skies had never been so bright.

A voice from the sky, smiled on me-

“All that is beautiful is thine to be”.

Walking on the path, no more alone;

Bliss is all around, love has only grown.

I have an angel, brighter than thy eyes could see;

She is the one, ‘The one’ for me.

ciao life...