The fact that we closed on the building does not necessarily mean that we walked away with any money. By the time the attorneys got through with us, we were lucky to leave with our skin intact.

For those of you who have bought or sold real estate you know what I'm talking about. How about the $901.50 realty transfer fee to record the deed. Don't we pay real estate taxes to the county to pay these people to work? Isn't filing a deed part of their work?

This particular transaction had four lawyer fees. And then as if they didn't charge enough in their fees, they also charge for their expenses: telephone, mailings, copies, faxes, etc. Why doesn't that come out of their fee?

We sell vitamins. What if I went to a customer and gave him his bill for the product and then I gave him another bill for the gas and tolls to deliver the product? I don't think so.

Whenever someone wants to explain the taste of a new meat, they always says it tastes just like chicken. If this keeps up even chicken won't taste like chicken. It may look like chicken but it won't taste like chicken.

I have a great idea for a new business. It's home based with no boss on your head. It's a special service to contract to do away with all stupid lawyers. I will be your first customer. Of course, I hope a lawyer doesn't have to review the contract.

Every 7 minutes they had the same commercial. They didn't even alternate with New York Life (who also had only one commercial). By the second hour of this I was ready to stop watching. And I will tell you that even if I was going to buy the darn car, I won't buy it now.

My daughter is lucky. She said that she is Tivoing the show to watch at a later date. Of course by the time she fast forwards through the commercials, the 2 hour show will only be 42 minutes long.

I had to make an inquiry on the status of two money orders that were sent three weeks ago. My G-d, you would have thought that I was asking them where Jimmy Hoffa is buryed. They didn't know what form to use. Even after I gave them the form number 6401. They said we don't use that form now with the new computer system. Finally, after asking the postmaster they got the right form. Form number 6401. Then she tells me you can't fill this out until six weeks after the date on the money order. OK, I said send in the request anyway. By the time they get around to it, it will be six weeks.

While I'm filling out the paperwork, she goes to lunch and another girl comes on in her place. She tells me I have to wait 60 days before I can make an inquiry. Then she asks the girl next to her and she says I can make the inquiry anytime. No one knows anything. And the line is getting longer and longer. Finally, I finished my paperwork and they have the nerve to charge me $3.15. for each inquiry.

By the way the entire time I was waiting on line I was reading the signs.
Not one sign indicated the amount of a First Class stamp. They had signs for Ready Post, Additional Services, Global Priority Mail, US Priority Mail, Global Express Mail, US Express Mail. But nothing to indicate the a First Class letter is 39 cents.

There are many elderly people where I live. One man was waiting in the car for his wife. It took so long he came in looking for her. He thought she died on line. If this keeps up they are going to have to keep a supply of coffins on the lobby.

My husband hates the smell of cooked cabbage. He will eat cole slaw but not stuffed cabbge. He also hates the smell of cooked broccoli, califlower and zuccini. He will eat it raw at a salad bar, but he will not eat it cooked.

How come when you go into a restaurant, you never smell this stuff cooking?

I'll bet some of you readers have food smells that you can't stand. If you do, and want to leave a comment about it, please do.

I guess I'll fry some fish in my house--the smell will make me sick for days [the smell lingers for days] and I won't be able to eat anything.
I can afford to lose a few pounds.

Some people are morning people and some people are night people. Most people are morning people. My husband is a morning person.

Being a night person in a morning person world is very inconvenient. When you tell someone not to call you before 11:00AM they think you are lazy. What most morning people don't realize is that what they do between 8:00AM and 11:00AM, night people do between 8:00PM and 11:00PM.

When my husband and I are going on a trip, he loves to leave at 5:00 or 6:00AM. This is the middle of the night to me. But by 9:00PM he is sleeping, and I am ready to go.

We haven't been on the same schedule for 39 years. I guess that's why we're still married.

I don't think there's a person alive that likes lawyers. They are stupid know-it-alls who think they are better than you.

I think there should be a day called "Boycott the Lawyers Day". Make it a national holiday like the Fourth of July.

I guess, I'll just save it, and maybe 10 years from now it might be worth $42.50.

What happened to the lawyers on TV and in the movies. The lawyers that would fight for their client no matter what. What happened to the lawyers like Perry Mason or more recently Denny Crane. Why can't I get a lawyer like those?

Alan Shore where are you?