Ramblings of a Stay at Home Dad of Triplets

Imitation

2010-07-30T09:27:00.001-04:00

Every morning I put my coffee cup on the counter next to the sink when I'm done with it, just in case I want another cup a little later. This morning when I went over to the sink to wash my hands I noticed that KJ had picked up on my routine and is now imitating it. Just a little reminder that we influence our children with every little thing we do, whether we do it intentionally or not. They are always watching, and learning.

Cleveland Indians Social Media Deck

2010-07-26T08:03:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Gretchen and I were invited to watch the Cleveland Indians play the Tampa Bay Rays at Progressive Field from their new Social Media Deck. The deck is a group of ten seats that sits just above the left field wall, right next to the home run porch. The seats are comfortable, the area is spacious, there are electrical outlets to charge your laptop or phone, and a nice flatscreen TV to watch the broadcast of the game (nice for watching replays). Oh, and there's free wifi, too.

One of the groups sitting with us in the deck yesterday was a couple of guys who work for COED Magazine. These guys were going to 30 Stadiums to see 30 games in 30 days. After the game at Progressive Field they were off to Miller Park in Milwaukee, not a short drive by any stretch. If you want to follow their journey in real time, check out their twitter feed, or you can find them on facebook.

I did not take my good camera with me, but I did snap some shots with the new iPhone.

Gretch and I in our seats on the Social Media Deck.

Mustard came to visit us on the Deck.

I made Gretchen pose by the Progressive IRV.

We got to walk down onto the field after the game.

The guys from COED Magazine.

The Triplets Get Toddler Beds

2010-07-19T08:00:00.000-04:00

This weekend I continued my efforts to give the triplets more freedom and converted their cribs to toddler beds. I have to admit that giving KJ, Juli and Elisha more freedom wasn't the only reason behind the switch. I'm also trying to save my back! Lifting three 30 pound kids into and out of their cribs four times a day (out in the morning, in at nap, out after nap, in at bed time) is rough on the vertebrae, back muscles, arm muscles and leg muscles. Heck, lets face it, taking care of multiples is rough on the body!

Of course I snapped a few pictures with the iPhone while we were making the conversion.

Cleveland Tweetup

2010-07-16T07:55:00.001-04:00

Last night I had the chance to attend another Cleveland Tweetup, this time at the Treehouse in Cleveland's Tremont neighborhood. The Dim and Den Sum Food Truck was there providing some delicious eats and Free Tater Tots! Thanks to Cleveland.com and the Cleveland Indians for hosting.

Of course I took the camera along and snapped a few shots.

Triplets at the Theater

2010-07-15T08:55:00.000-04:00

When we first heard that there was going to be a third installment in the Toy Story franchise, I was really excited. I remember thinking how perfect it would be to have the triplets first movie in a big movie theater be Toy Story 3. When I found out it was going to be in 3D, I got even more excited.

We started to prepare the triplets by watching the first two Toy Story movies over and over, and over, and over... you get the idea. Kids this age can watch the same thing two million times and love it the same each time. I don't know how they do it.

We didn't go to see the movie on opening weekend, for a few reasons including the fact that we were out of town, and who wants to try to wrestle three toddlers in a crowded movie theater? Not me. We waited a few weeks and decided to go on a Wednesday afternoon. We figured the theater would be somewhat empty, and we were right.

My sister came up to help out, so that we had one adult per child. When the movie started, there was one other family in the theater with us. It was perfect. This way if the triplets started to get antsy or loud, it wouldn't bother a whole theater full of people.

Now, I had read some of the reviews and blog posts about other children getting upset and scared by the movie, especially the beginning. I decided not to worry about it. I've been realizing lately that we've been protecting out little ones a little too much. We need to let them fall a little so that they learn to pick themselves up, both figuratively and literally. Take the toddler swings that I recently replaced with big kid swings. I realized that I put recycled tire mulch down in the play set area so that when the kids fell, they wouldn't get hurt as bad. Problem is, I wasn't letting the kids fall. I was strapping them into toddler swings so that they would stay securely in place. And then there's the booster seats at the table. Same thing. I was strapping them into their seats so that they wouldn't try to get out of their seats and possibly fall and hurt themselves. But if we don't let them fall and get hurt a little, how do they learn not to do those things? How do they learn to pick themselves up and try again? If I don't take them to a movie that might scare them, how do they learn that sometimes scary things happen, and that it's okay to be scared?

My mother always says that "first we give our children roots, then we give them wings". This is so true. I just didn't realize how quickly we had to start giving them wings.

In the end, I was right to not worry about the movie. The kids didn't get scared at all. From what I could tell, they loved it. They were mesmerized. Juli even kept her 3D glasses on for most of the movie. KJ and Elisha, not so much. They got a little antsy towards the end, but that's to be expected.

And as for the end of the movie - if you've read any posts or reviews of the movie you probably know what happens to some adults who watch it - let's just say I was glad I had my 3D glasses on.

Here are a few pictures from the theater. I took them with my iPhone, so please excuse the quality.

Bye Bye Toddler Swings

2010-07-13T11:46:00.001-04:00

In addition to getting rid of the triplets booster seats at the table, I've also opted to swap out the toddler swings for big kid swings. Juli has taken to the change quite well.

No More Booster Seats!

2010-07-13T09:35:00.001-04:00

First meal without booster seats!!

Still Motion of Triplets on the Beach

2010-07-12T08:00:00.003-04:00

It's no secret that I like to take pictures. LOTS of pictures. I decided to take some of those pictures of the triplets walking hand-in-hand on the beach and make a still motion movie from them.

KJ and the Garden Hose

2010-07-09T08:00:00.001-04:00

One evening this week we were letting the kids play outside as I was watering the garden and flowers and I gave into the temptation to spray down my son. And he loved it. Gretch caught a little video with her phone.

Triplets Playing In The Sprinkler

2010-07-08T08:00:00.002-04:00

Last weekend the kids got the chance to run through the sprinkler at my in-laws' house. KJ loved it, Juli was interested, and Elisha wanted nothing to do with it. Here's a few pics that Gretch grabbed with her phone:

Fourth Of July 2010

2010-07-07T08:00:00.000-04:00

This Fourth of July we decided to meet up with some friends of ours to watch a fireworks display near our hometown. It was nice to just sit back and relax (as much as one can with four kids under four running around) and enjoy some downtime. Of course, I did take the camera along. Here are a few shots:

Back To The Condo

2010-07-06T08:00:00.000-04:00

Myrtle Beach 2010: Pictures

2010-07-05T08:00:00.004-04:00

On our last day of vacation, we spent as much time as we could at the beach. A storm formed to our south and threatened to end our fun, but it never made it up to where we were, so we all just stayed out on the beach. I did capture a picture of a nice lightning bolt hitting the water off in the distance. Nobody wanted the vacation to end. We even took the kids out after dark (and after their bedtime) for a walk on the beach. They loved it. I had a small flashlight that resembled a mini light saber for each of the kids, one red, one green and one blue. The girls held onto theirs the whole time, KJ had his right up until we were ready to return to the condo, then he gave it up.

Elisha had to try out all of the beach chairs.

Snack time, wearing Papa's hat.

KJ's turn to wear Papa's hat, Elisha found another one.

I think these were Coast Guard Helicopters. They were pretty low and fast.

"Did you see the helicopters, Dad?"

Elisha having fun with Grandma and Papa.

Everyone in the water.

Okay, enough fun, pose for a picture.

Lightning.

Our after dark beach walk.

KJ really liked his light.

Really liked it.

Juli liked her's, too.

KJ and Elisha walking together.

Elisha and Aunt Katie running.

Elisha was having a good time!

Grandma and Juli.

Myrtle Beach 2010: Pictures

2010-07-02T08:00:00.002-04:00

More pictures from our Myrtle Beach vacation with the triplets:

This is when we learned that no matter how many new toys you buy for your kids, they're always going to want someone else's toys. That green net that KJ is playing with, not ours. The multi-colored balls in the water, ours.

Nets, not ours.

KJ splashing with Grandma.

Caught Grandma playing with the mermaid dolls we bought for the kids.

Gretchen putting KJ to work. If only I could get him to water my garden that well.

Elisha has all of our torpedoes, and possibly some that aren't ours.

Juli playing with the mermaid dolls we bought for them. Eventually they did play with the toys we bought for them, it was just after all of the other kids left and took their toys with them.

KJ all snuggled up after his swim. Ready for lunch.

Myrtle Beach 2010: Something In The Water

2010-07-01T08:00:00.006-04:00

On the last day of our stay in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, after Gretchen and I put the kids down for a nap we were just about to sit down to eat lunch when I looked out towards the beach. I noticed that there was a double red flag on the lifeguard chair and that everyone was standing on the beach. There was no one in the water. After I ate my lunch I grabbed my camera and headed down to the beach to see what was going on. Turns out there was an alligator in the water, probably about a hundred feet out. There were two guys in the water trying to either catch it or lure it away, I couldn't tell for sure. One had a fishing pole, but it didn't seem to do any good, so he quit and got out of the water. The other guy had no tools except for his hands and what little brains he had. At one point he actually swam up to the thing and lunged at it like he was trying to catch it. The thing had to be six feet long at least. Not a big gator by any means, but not something I'd just try to catch with my hands either. I made sure to take a few pics to prove the story.

Myrtle Beach 2010: Pictures

2010-06-30T08:00:00.004-04:00

More pictures from our beach adventures with the triplets.

Everyone really enjoyed playing in the sand this year.

Juli found a seashell.

One of the few pictures of Juli looking at the camera. She usually looks away when she sees it.

We got the girls to hold hands and walk down to Grandma and Grandpa.

KJ joined in shortly after he saw them.

All smiles

My Dad took a great family picture for us.

Elisha walking down the beach with her Papa.

KJ leaving some bread out for the birds.

Elisha wanted to feed the birds, too.

KJ and his Grandma.

Myrtle Beach 2010: Pictures

2010-06-29T08:00:00.005-04:00

Our second day in Myrtle Beach we took the kids out to the pool. The condo we stayed in had a nice, one foot deep wading pool for the kids. Perfect for our little ones.

KJ jumped right in.

Juli had to test the waters a bit.

We took a slightly more aggressive approach with Elisha.

KJ took note of our aggressive approach with Elisha and applied it to Juli

Juli then got him back by baptizing him.

Now that that's out of the way, we can just have fun now.

Not our dolls.

Very happy Juli with a topless mermaid. Not ours.

Elisha is now comfortable enough to sit in the water. Or she had to pee. Not sure which (we did have swim diapers on them).

All smiles. Probably gas. I'm glad he was standing up.

She's not doing what you might think here. Not sure what she was doing, but it wasn't that.

Elisha even made a friend.

Not our dolphin.

Not our torpedo. We need to get our kids some pool toys.

Elisha really liked the lazy river ride.

I mean she Really liked the lazy river ride

Myrtle Beach 2010: Pictures

2010-06-28T08:00:00.001-04:00

Now that I've had enough time to edit all 1500 pictures from the vacation, I can finally start to post them.

The first day we just took a leisurely walk along the beach to get the kids used to the sand and water. This year was a much different experience compared to last year, when they did not like the sand on their feet at all. This year they went right out into it, no problem. Elisha was a little tentative at first, but she's been like that with everything lately. She needs to take in the whole situation and make sure it's okay before she can relax and enjoy it.

First steps in the ocean this year.

Throwing sand is fun.

Elisha's not so sure, but coming around.

Juli found a shell. "What's this, Grandma?"

"Look, Dada, sand!"

The whole gang (minus me, always behind the camera).

"Waves are fun!"

Elisha's still not so sure.

"Look, I found a seashell!" There's an Elisha smile!!

"Look, Mama, bubbles!"

First Video With The iPhone 4

2010-06-26T10:07:00.000-04:00

Don't worry, I didn't take the kids out to wait in line all day at the apple store for the new iPhone. I left the house around 7:00 in the evening and had the phone by 10:00 that night. Not bad considering some people waited upwards of 5 hours and had a "reservation".

So, here's the first video I took with the phone. Just a few minutes of the kids and the dog playing in the backyard.

One day soon I'll shoot the same video with our flip minoHD and the iPhone 4 and compare the two.

Stay Tuned.

Being Nice And Polite Will Help You Rise Above

2010-06-25T08:00:00.005-04:00

My parents, brother and sister have been vacationing in North Myrtle Beach for close to or more than a decade now. Each year, my sister watches as people para-sail above the ocean and has really wanted to try it. No one would go with her, and she didn't want to do it alone.

Since we finally joined them for their vacation this year, she finally had someone to go with her. I've always wanted to para-sail, too, but Gretch would never go with me.

I made our appointment for Thursday at two o'clock in the afternoon. I figured the triplets would be napping by then so we could sneak off and not worry about leaving Gretch or my parents alone with the kids. Around one o'clock Thursday I got a call from the people who run the para-sail and they told me they were running behind. They would gladly let us reschedule for another day or we could just wait it out on the beach outside of their office. We opted to wait it out.

When we got to the office, there was an older couple there and the man was yelling at the lady behind the desk. He was irate about the delay and was demanding to be allowed to go para-sailing immediately. He was really grumpy and mean, and his wife, tho she didn't say much, wasn't much nicer. I felt bad for the lady behind the desk, because there was obviously nothing she could do about the delay.

My sister and I quietly waited until one of the ladies behind the desk finished up with some other people who were there before us, and when it was our turn we took our papers and filled out the releases and other paperwork. They reminded us about the delay, and we told them not to worry about it. We would wait until they could take us. My sister had been waiting ten years, what was another hour, right? Besides, we were on vacation, on a beach, and the sun was out. It was a beautiful day. Why not wait?

Well, the ladies running the place took notice of how laid back and polite we were about the whole thing, and snuck us onto the next boat out, before the grumpy people that were there before us, and probably had an appointment before ours. We only waited about 15 minutes before getting on the boat, and it was probably another 30 before we were up in the air. It was such a peaceful ride. Well worth the cost. It was something I'll always remember. I've never done anything like that before.

And the best part, as we were up there, a storm started to develop to our south, so the guys on the boat pulled the parachute down after we got back on the boat. They were done for the day. So Mr. and Mrs. Grumpy never got to have their adventure!

Potty Training Update

2010-06-24T17:14:00.000-04:00

I decided to start potty training this morning. I put a cheap plastic shower curtain on the floor to protect the carpet from any accidents and set the three potties that we have in front of the TV. After breakfast we turned on a movie and I gave the kids their sippy cups and cranked the A/C.

Today was really just a test, to see who was ready and who was not. If they're all ready, great, they can all do this together. If not, well, we'll try one at a time. It turns out that Juli is ready. She was the only one that got her pee in the potty. Elisha is, well, not so ready. She definitely knows when she has to go, but she did not want to go on the potty. She waited, and waited, and waited, until I gave it and put her diaper back on, and she immediately peed. I mean immediately. KJ is somewhere in between. He peed while he was on the potty, but sprayed me instead of pointing himself down into the potty. I'm going to chalk that one up as a learning experience for both of us.

Hopefully we'll make a little more progress tomorrow. We might try some underwear on Juli and KJ. I may also see if Elisha wants to wear them. I'll let you know how it goes.

Why Don't Dads Change Diapers?

2010-06-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

I promised myself a long while ago that this blog would be a "happy place", someplace to chronicle the adventures the kids and I have as we grow up together. I did not want it to be a place where I gripe and complain about problems I encounter being a stay-at-home dad. But - you knew there was a "but" coming - I just can't let this one slide.

As you know if you've been reading the blog at all recently we just got back from a week long trip to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It's about a 11 hour drive from our house to where we stayed. Driving 1400 miles round trip with three toddlers still in diapers is no easy feat. There are lots of stops for diaper changes, especially for Juli, who regularly downs as much water as she can to test the absorbency tolerance of whatever brand of diapers we are currently buying. Side note, Costco's Kirkland Signature brand Diapers can hold a LOT of liquid.

So, back to the topic at hand. We stopped at a number of rest stops, McDonald's, and wherever else we thought might be a good place to change the kids when they needed it. Almost every time we stopped I would take one of the kids into the restroom only to find that there was no changing station and I would have to do a standing diaper change. Not the easiest thing in the world to do, especially when you have little girls who like to dance. When there was a changing station in the mens room, often it was located in the handicap stall. Which, as we all know, is the most popular stall in the bathroom. Elisha and I waited about ten minutes for one gentleman to finish up before giving up and doing the standing change right there in the middle of the bathroom with about four other guys waiting for their turn at the urinal.

If you're business sells happy meals or kids meals and has a huge slide out front for kids to play in, you need to have a changing station in both restrooms or provide a family room.

So yeah, if there's no changing station, of course the guy is going to take the kid back out to mom and say "here, you change him/her" because there's probably a convenient place for changing in the women's restroom.

If I'm going to complain about the bad, I should point out the good. North Carolina, you have the nicest, cleanest rest stops I've ever seen. And there is a changing station in the mens room. West Virginia, not so clean, but you do provide the changing station for dads, good job there. I would comment on Ohio's rest stops if any of them along our route were open, but they weren't so we had to wait it out. Hopefully there are changing stations included in their remodel plans.

KJ and the Pizza

2010-06-23T08:00:00.002-04:00

While on Vacation in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, my parents wanted to go out for some Italian food one night. Once the triplets woke up from their nap, we got them ready and started to head out the door to the restaurant that they had picked out. As we were walking out the door we told the kids that we were going out for pizza and pasta. They were very excited, especially KJ. We plugged the name of the restaurant into the GPS and it gave us directions. It was less than two miles away from our condo. We headed out and got to the place the GPS told us to go, but it was not the correct restaurant. It was not even an Italian restaurant. So we decided to go to a local cafeteria style place that was next door. No big deal right? W.R.O.N.G.

Once we got inside, we were informed by a certain three foot little boy that we had promised him pizza. There was no pizza at this place. He wanted his pizza, and he threw a royal fit! We tried everything. I tried giving him garlic bread, one of his favorites. Nothing. We tried giving him a normal dinner roll (can you tell the kid likes bread?). Nothing. I offered him my key lime pie. Nothing. The kid would not accept anything except pizza. And there was no pizza. What there was was an abundance of whining and crying and whining. Did I mention the whining. There was lots of whining.

Eventually hunger overcame stubbornness and he did end up eating something. I don't remember exactly what because my brain erases the details of these traumatic events soon after they occur. It's some sort of built in mechanism that, as far as I can tell, keeps me from leaving my children on the doorstep of the nearest church and running for the hills.

So, lesson learned. We do not tell KJ that we are going for pizza unless we are one thousand percent positive that we can provide him with pizza.

The Luggage, Roof Rack, Cargo Bag, and Bungee Net Fiasco

2010-06-22T08:00:00.001-04:00

A few months before our trip to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, I ordered a cargo bag and bungee net from an online retailer so that we can secure our luggage to the roof rack of the van without having to worry about it being exposed to the elements as we cross five states. The bag and the net came in a timely manner and everything looked okay.

As the trip drew near, I brought out the bag and the net and sized them up with the roof rack of the van. Everything looked just fine. The straps that would be used to secure the bag to the rack looked like they'd be long enough and strong enough to hold the luggage in place. The net looked like it would cover the bag and work as a backup in case one of the straps failed for some reason. All-in-all, everything looked like it would work as it should.

The night before we left, I began to secure the bag to the luggage rack. I needed to move one of the bars of the rack a few inches so that it would be closer to the bag and I wouldn't need to have the strap stretched out as far as it could go. It looked simple enough, there was a thumbscrew on either side that looked like it should turn, loosen, and allow me to move the bar. Famous. Last. Words. I couldn't budge either of the screws. So I went and got a pair of pliers and loosened the screw, or so I thought. I turned it the six turns that the manual said to (yeah, I know, revoke my man-card, I read the damn manual). I was able to move the bar. So I went to the other side and did the same. I was able to move the bar on that side. Mission accomplished, right? Wrong.

As I began to tighten the screws I felt a slight but distinct clicking. I turned and turned and turned the screws but nothing tightened. And the clicking got worse. After about 15 minutes of turning the thumbscrews and scratching my head, I took a flat head screwdriver and popped off one of the plastic thumbscrews to reveal this:

I don't even know what the hell to call this thing. It's like a post on an oven that you put the knobs on. And it has some of the smallest little ridges that are supposed to catch the matching ridges in the plastic thumbscrew. Only problem is that IT'S PLASTIC!!!!! The metal ridges stripped those plastic ridges right out. There was no chance of this thing ever working correctly! Major design fail on Chrysler's part if you ask me. Major fail.

So, I got my vice grips and tightened the metal post thingie down and the bar was secured in place. Step one complete.

Now, secure the bag to the rack. There are three different types of straps used to secure the cargo bag to the roof rack. Two large ones that clip to the bag, loop around the bar, and clip together. Essentially a "two clips on one strap" system. The clips are the type you typically see in shopping carts to secure your children, or on children's life jackets, where one part fits into the other, and to separate them you have to squeeze two parts of the inner piece and it slides out of the outer piece. There are also two large straps with one clip system, so you have to feed the strap around the bar, then thread it through the clip and clip it to the bag. And the last type is a small strap that works like the first type of large straps, where there is a two clip system. It sounds complicated, but it's not. Or it shouldn't be.

Oh, but it is. There isn't enough room in the one clip straps to feed the strap through. I ended up using the flat head screwdriver I used to pry the thumbscrew off of the post to "push" the strap through. It was so tight that I risked stabbing myself with the screwdriver if I slipped. And that would have required an emergency room visit. Once I got that set up I began to fasten the side straps, the smaller ones. As I started to pull the straps to tighten them down, one of the clips just pulled right out and came undone. It was as if there was nothing holding it in place. I re-fastened it to its counterpart on the bag and began to tighten the strap again and the same thing happened. I thoroughly inspected it thinking I must have done something wrong like put it in the wrong way. Nope, it was in the correct way. It just wasn't "clicking" into place, and therefore not secure. I tried it in all four positions on the bag with the same results. Good thing I bought that bungee net.

Then I got to the front of the bag. The straps with the two clip system. Those seemed to hold in place pretty well. Then I began to tighten the straps, which just loosened again when I let go. The instructions were not very explicit as to how to feed the straps through the clips. Apparently the way I believed it should be done was backwards. Once I turned the clip around, it held the straps in position much better.

So, since one of the straps was not holding, I decided to use the net. I got it in place, secured all of the hooks on one side to the roof rack, and began to pull the net over to the other side and secure the hooks on that side. I got to the second to last one, and the metal ring holding one part of the bungee net to another let go and went flying millimeters from my head. Nice. So now I had to loop that end around, through and back to the luggage rack to secure that end down. Luckily it was not the same end that the malfunctioning strap was on.

So, now with the luggage secured to the rack, we began our journey. I kept praying and checking my rear view mirrors the entire way to North Carolina thinking I would see our cargo bag and luggage cartwheeling across I-77. It stayed attached to the rack the whole way. We got to our hotel, unpacked and got a good night's rest. The next morning while I was loading up again, another one of the small straps failed in the same manner as the first. Fantastic.

Despite the additional failure, the luggage made it all the way to Myrtle Beach. While we were unhooking the net to unload, one of the hooks just popped off of the net. Just popped right off. Upon further inspection, it was fairly easy to reattach, as it was just hooked onto the net much the way a Christmas tree ornament hook attaches to an ornament. It's just a tighter hook.

Thankfully, we were able to pack everything up and make it all the way home from Myrtle Beach without having any further failures or malfunctions. And the luggage never seemed to be in danger of coming off of the roof. I was glad I spent the extra money on the bungee net. Rest assured next year I will have multiple backup plans in place.

Triplets on Vacation: Part Three

2010-06-21T08:00:00.005-04:00

Wow, the rest of the week is sort of a blur! There was lots of Pool time and beach time with the kids. Gretch and I got to get out by ourselves again and have dinner and play some mini-golf. On Friday we took the kids out to the beach after dark for a walk. They had a blast! KJ took off by himself and I had to chase him down. We were lucky that he didn't fall into one of the holes that people had dug in the sand throughout the day. Some of them can be a couple of feet deep.

Saturday we packed up and headed home. We got on the road by 8:00 am and were home before midnight. It was quite an adventure. We probably could have made it home before ten if we hadn't had to stop so many times to change diapers and eat. But, this way we got to see a lot of rest stops along the way, and getting home before midnight is much better than getting home after two in the morning like last year.

I learned quite a few things on this vacation. Here are a few (in no particular order):

Too much caffeine will, in fact, make you feel like you're vibrating.
Three 5-hour energy drinks, a medium iced coffee, a medium coke, a large coke, and a 24oz. Mountain Dew over a 15 hour span provide way more caffeine than my body can handle.
It's always good to have a backup plan to secure your luggage to the roof rack of your minivan.
It's always good to have a backup plan for your backup plan to secure your luggage to the roof rack of your minivan.
Most businesses don't think that dads change diapers.
The state of North Carolina thinks that dads change diapers.
North Carolina has the cleanest rest stops I've ever seen. Ever.
No matter how many toys you bring for your children to play with in the pool, they will want the toys all of the other children brought to the pool.
Even though your children will not play with the toys you bought for them to play with in the pool, bring them anyways, because the other children will need toys when your children steal theirs.
My son is more stubborn than I ever was.
We should never promise KJ pizza unless we are one thousand percent positive we can provide him with pizza.
A bottle and a half of SPF 50 sunscreen can't keep me from burning.
Being nice and polite will get you further in life than being bitchy and mean.
Alligators can get confused and wander out into the ocean.
A double red flag on the lifeguard chair means get the heck out of the water.
Peacocks wander around rural North Carolina
Eggs fall out of the sky and land on my driveway just before midnight on nights when I return from vacation.
Teenagers in my neighborhood need more summer enrichment programs.

Stay tuned for more detailed accounts of these things and more in the coming weeks. For now, the caffeine has finally worn off and I need to get some sleep.