Ramblings of a Tired Working Mom

Stepping it up a notch

2011-02-08T11:09:00.001-06:00

This week, I decided to step it up a notch. And it was a BAD idea. More on that later. Yesterday's weigh-in was no major surprise. I'd had a few unexpectedly good weeks, and when you combine last week's completely hosed routine (thanks to the chaos caused by the snow) with my complete lack of control with food over the weekend, it adds up to two pounds gained. I'm not all that upset, because the amount of enjoyment I got out of those weekend food fests was worth it. I know I should feel very guilty over it, but I just can't. The food made me entirely too happy.

So this week, I'm motivated to get those two pounds back off, and then one more. I know it can be done - I've had weeks where I've gone down by 3 pounds before. They're just rare. I'm not shooting for any more than 3 though, because Friday is my birthday (turning 39 for the first time) and there will be ice cream involved, and probably a nice meal out if we can get around the v-day crowds.

But so far, my motivation has backfired. I thought it was time that I introduced something new in the activity component of this journey. So I dusted off a cardio video I got from The Biggest Loser a long time ago. I'd done it once before, and now I remember quite clearly why it was only once. I did this video at 9pm last night, and I woke up sore this morning. And usually, doesn't the sore take 24 hours to really rear its ugly head? And isn't it WORSE on the second day? Based on the way I feel now, I might actually be completely immobile tomorrow! I'm sure there was cardio in that video somewhere, because my heart rate was definitely up and I certainly had a good sweat going. But in hindsight, I should have stopped when I saw that very first lunge.

I guess I could look on the bright side. This sore will serve as a reminder of what I'm trying to accomplish. I won't attempt anything that muscle intense any more this week because I have no desire to cross the line from sore to injured. But maybe I should aspire to eventually being able to get through that 20 minute video without killing myself. That seems like a good goal, and it's slightly more interesting than my treadmill time.

Oh, the pain

2011-01-27T11:17:00.001-06:00

The past two weeks seem to be nothing but one pain after another. Ug. I was so stoked about the relatively big numbers I was enjoying the first couple of weeks after getting my treadmill, that I upped the intensity to try to do better. Enter the first round of pain. I'm not entirely sure why it is, but my whole right leg started getting achy. I pushed through it when trying to do the workouts, but dealing with a painful hip and lower back was something I couldn't do while trying to sleep. Finding a comfortable sleep position with a hip that twinges with every movement was just not fun.

On top of it all, even with the dialed up the workouts, the weight loss didn't increase. Hmmmm..... There's got to be a whole lot more to the whole equation. Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe I went off menu more than I realized. Hard to say, but clearly there are lots of stars that have to align to make the weight losing thing work. And they did not align when I was hurting. Two weeks ago, the weigh-in showed a loss of some percentage of a pound. And I truly thought I'd done better.

So after that small percentage of a pound, I figured I'd go back to a more manageable intensity on the workouts, and go back to the choosing my own foods from the JC list, and not counting calories so strictly (by the way, two weeks ago I tried to do one of their planned menus again - with less than stellar results). I was doing great for the first few days, until I came down with strep throat. Strep is painful, painful stuff. Not only could I not swallow without intense pain, my neck muscles hurt, and because of a few bouts of intense fever shivers, my entire back hurt. So there was no kind of activity for four days. And these four days followed directly on the heels of two big dinners out, where I didn't even attempt to make good choices. I got my favorites, and enjoyed every single bite. But I guess the fact that I was living off of soup and tea for the next few days made the difference last week, because at my weigh-in, I was down by 3lbs again.

Now, there's no way I'd wish for a continuation of a sickness that makes swallowing so painful. Good for weight loss, I suppose, but not a fun way to live. So I'm still trying to figure out the right combination of stuff that makes for an ideal weight loss week - one that doesn't include pain, that is.

Progress

2011-01-10T13:17:00.001-06:00

I can't believe I never got around to posting about last week's
weigh-in. It was a shock! I lost 4lbs last week, and considering
that I munched myself silly at the NYE party on the 31st, it's a
miracle. I did try to account for that night of splurging by making
sure I got more activity in, and I guess that did the trick.

This past week wasn't as difficult - I didn't have the major splurge
night like the week before, but I did have a few meals off-menu. I
guess I go less insane about the whole meal plan thing that way if I
try to stick to "the plan" in a loose kind of way. I lost 2.5 lbs
last week, which I'm quite happy with. I think the new treadmill
helps a lot - I've been doing all of my walks on an incline.

Also, in good/bad news, I just bought new pants (good!), but if I keep
this pace for too many more weeks, I'll only get a few wears before
having to drop some more money on clothes again (bad). It's times
like this that I wish it were spring - I'm sure I can get more mileage
out of a skirt, or at least be able to take in a skirt myself. Oh
well - I wanted this. So I've got to deal with the extra expense of
the in-between clothes (since they'd surely frown on my switch from
business casual to sweat pants at work ;-) ).

New Stuff

2010-12-29T10:21:00.001-06:00

It's the week after Christmas, and of course there's new stuff. I got
some attachments for my sewing machine, which will ensure that I never
ever have to make ruffles by hand ever again (and there was much
rejoicing), and I got some gift cards to my favorite scrapbook supply
stores, so that's a happy thing too. But this week, I've done more
purchasing - stuff I NEEDED. And this is the kind of thing I can't
ask for as a gift. And it's the kind of thing I get very little joy
out of shopping for.

Need #1: a new treadmill. I had a treadmill - the same one that's
been in my basement for the better part of 15 years (it took a brief
hiatus at a friends house, but ultimately came back home). It works,
and isn't really showing any signs of being non-functional. But I
could use something with an incline, and a better display for how fast
I'm going and how far I've gone. Old treadmill had such a display,
but it was flaky, and the speed control was on a slider thing - not
offering very precise control. And I've actually been using the
treadmill 3 times a week for the last month. So it was time - I've
earned the upgrade. I picked up a ProForm 400 CT from Sam's, and
I'm extremely happy with it. It has plenty of incline, and far more
precise control of the speed. There are also built-in speakers and a
cable that plugs into my phone so that I can play music without having
to wear headphones. It's nice - but it's not very loud. Good if the
kids are down there - it allows me to hear their argument before it
escalates into disaster. But most of the time I wait until they're
asleep, and I want to drown out everything - including any type of
independent thought I may want to have. So I still have a need for
headphones. Anyway, it's really nice (especially considering that I
only parted with $500 to get it) and I'm very happy.

Need #2: new pants. I'm down 18 lbs, and my pants are finally baggy
enough to look bad. When I started JC, the pants were tight - as in,
time to go up a size. But I couldn't handle that idea. By around the
10lb mark, the pants fit the way they should and were no longer
cutting off circulation or threatening to split up the back. Now, at
18lbs, they're not in any danger of falling off, but they're looking a
little saggy in the back, which is probably just as unflattering as
the tightness that was there 12 weeks ago. So last night I purchased
pants. CJ Banks (a plus size store) was having a pants sale, so I
lucked out. I was able to get 4 pair for the money I was planning on
spending, and I had only figured I'd be able to get 2. So that's a
happy thing. They're only one size down, and a little tight around
the middle still. But at least I'll have a frame of reference as
these (hopefully) start to get less snug.

My hopes are that by spring, these pants will start to be in the
too-big range, and it will be time to do another round of shopping.
But at that point I can shop for skirts, which have a much larger
range for weight - the right style skirt could probably cover a range
of 3 sizes without much more than the move of a button. I really
don't enjoy shopping for clothes. The now-baggy pants were purchased
during my maternity leave 4 years ago, when I realized that there was
no likelihood that I'd be dieting or exercising and getting back to my
pre-pregnancy clothes any time soon. Perhaps by spring, my
relationship with my new treadmill will have produced enough results
that I'll change my mind. But for now, this week's purchases were
about as fun as shopping for a new set of tires for my SUV. But it's
done, and should hopefully sustain me for a while. Now I can
concentrate on my fun shopping - spending those Michaels and Archivers
gift cards.

Mid-week diet reflections

2010-12-23T13:55:00.002-06:00

So, it's only Thursday, and with my weigh-ins being typically on Mondays, this is really about mid-week. I think this week has been a good week for the weight loss efforts. I figured out something critical for making the food thing work. I'm sure that Erica (the Jenny Craig consultant) would not approve of my methods, but once I have my weigh-in on Monday (assuming the numbers go the way I think they will), I will be convinced that my way is better and I will continue doing things that way.

According to the instructions, one is supposed to follow the menu fairly exactly. As in, if they say that I should be having such-and-such a cereal for breakfast, then I should also be having exactly such-and-such a sandwich for lunch and exactly such-and-such an entree for dinner. It's all perfectly nutritionally balanced that way. And it drives me perfectly nuts. I hate it. I tried to stick with it last week, and look at the food prescribed for the entire day before I selected breakfast. Way to start the day on a sour note. Trying to figure out what I might like for dinner at 8am is just not something I can do. And honestly, when it then came time for dinner - I didn't want what was on the menu, and rather than choosing a different JC box, I chose Taco Bell. I somehow doubt that was the right choice.

So this week, I'm trying something different. I have 7+ breakfast options, at least 10 lunch options, and probably 15 dinner options (Taco Bell wasn't the only diversion). So, before leaving for work, I grab whichever breakfast seems the most desirable, and whatever lunch item strikes me. When I get home, I select a dinner. I'm sure my days are not nutritionally balanced, especially when you factor in all of the prescribed snacks. If I feel like yogurt instead of popcorn, then I have yogurt. Not the same, but I'm not angry about the food. Last week I was angry. Last week I was ready to quit. Last week, I gained half a pound. This week, I think I'm down about 3 lbs.

I think the lesson here is that restrictions are bad for me. The more restrictions and rules, the less likely I am to succeed. Apparently, I need to do things on my own terms. Clearly I need help (like in the form of portion controlled boxed food), but all of the other rules and restrictions and requirements are nothing but a barrier and do little more than piss me off.

So, we'll just see how the week pans out, but for now, I think I might have stumbled on to a compromise that might just work. Come Monday morning I'll know for sure.

It's nearly over....

2010-12-23T09:48:00.005-06:00

Christmas, that is. I really don't like the fact that I detest Christmas more every year. I don't mind the giving - I actually emptied my purse of cash because of the bell ringers, and we sent in gift cards or supplies to every adopt-a-whatever that anyone we knew was sponsoring. Tomorrow I plan on taking the kids to a toys-for-tots dropoff location. I already have two things, but I'm considering taking the kids to a toy store first and having them choose something for the drop box.

But I wish that there weren't so many other obligations. And I wish I could convince myself that it would be OK to get my children one gift each and call it good. Not because we can't afford it - but rather because they're entirely too spoiled. And regardless of all of the things that will be under the tree, there will probably still be disappointment. This is why I'm looking forward to this all being over.

Tomorrow is the work holiday, and the day care is closed too. And I'm trying to figure out how to spend the day without feeling the need to sedate my children. They're bound to be bouncing off of every wall. I think we definitely need to do the toys for tots thing - at least it gets us out for a bit. I've also considered having them select some neglected toys from their rooms and take them to Good Will. Maybe we can go get some cash from an ATM and visit a few red kettles. I'm sure it won't help ground them as much as I'd like, but maybe it will help me feel better.

Or maybe we can just make cookies. Oh wait, but then there's all the wrapping that still needs to be done. And I've still got a calendar to make for the swap at my mom's house. Oh, and we need to drop off gifts for all of the neighbors at some point. Oh, and the holiday cards need to be made (I guess I should limit my designs to Happy New Year - or maybe Valentine's Day). And Rob wants me to make some earrings for Nicole to balance out some cars he found for Jake. Dammit. I hate Christmas.

The undeserved gifts

2010-12-22T10:15:00.003-06:00

I'm feeling like an evil mom right about now. Neither of my children appear to grasp the Santa Claus "naughty list" threat. Their behavior has been in a downward spiral since Thanksgiving. I'm not surprised - it's been this way every year. And of course they're going to ultimately win, because I don't keep receipts and I'm too lazy to do returns anyway. Besides, I actually sewed some stuff for Nicole this year (photos here) and it's not like I can take that back to the store.

So here's why I'm feeling evil - both kids have decided to change their story about what's on the top of their list. Everything had been at least ordered, if not wrapped, and none of the ordered items are the things they're now talking about. Nicole is telling everyone who asks that she'd like a DSI (a souped up version of a Nintendo game thing she already has). Jake has been asking for a "Cleaner Truck". No one really knows what that is. So I've decided, that when the children ask why Santa didn't bring them a cleaner truck or a DSI, I'm going to tell them those items came out of the sled due to some naughty time. They have to learn somehow, and it gets me off the hook. There may be some tears this Christmas, but I'm beyond caring. My children often fail to realize just how spoiled they really are, and this year they're going to have to start figuring it out. It's not like they're going to be hurting. They'll still have plenty of packages - and packages that represent things that were in fact on their mile-long lists at one point.

As always, I'll be more than happy to see December draw to a close. It's the worst month of the year for so many reasons. And when it's all over, my children might go back to becoming reasonably behaved human beings. At least, until Mother's Day.

Stat Post - week of 12/20

2010-12-21T15:31:00.008-06:00

Monday: 10 minute walk through building (twice); 40 minutes on the treadmill
Tuesday: 10 minute walk through building (twice)
Wednesday: 10 minute walk through building (twice); 40 minutes on the treadmill
Thursday: 10 minute walk through building (twice)
Friday: (xmas eve - off work) no exercise at all
Saturday: xmas day - totally off-menu - no exercise at all
Sunday: Two trips up and down the street (probably no more than .5 mile), 35 minutes of Zumba.

I gave myself a total pass on Christmas. Christmas Eve the kids and I went out to see if any last minute shopping items spoke to us. They didn't. And the stores were surprisingly non-busy. After shopping, we went to IHOP. They have one or two decent choices on the menu, but none of them qualified at all as what I wanted, and what I wanted was real eggs. Egg substitute is yucky. That lunch was probably an entire day's calorie allowance. Oh well. I left happy. And for dinner, I had nachos - the same nachos the rest of my family was having. So there.

Christmas morning was at my parents' house - where there was not a single good choice to be had. The only available options were donuts, and fried breakfast food. And I sampled it all, because it wouldn't have been Christmas without it. The primary difference was that I only had one plateful. That's usually not the case.

Skipped lunch, and once home, opened a bottle of wine which I finished entirely on my own by the end of the night. And that might explain why I'm not entirely certain what all I ate for dinner. I know there was a cold cut sandwich, followed by some pizza. There were also some dessert items, and chips and cheese dip. Can't even begin to account for how much of that stuff I ate.

Today was back on menu. And I have no idea what to expect for the weigh-in tomorrow morning. If I gained, I doubt it was any more than last week. I may still hit the treadmill tonight after the kids are in bed. Just to totally make sure I expend more than I took in today.

Time to check the freezer to see what's available for dinner.

Resurrection, part 2

2010-12-21T12:14:00.002-06:00

Yeah, it's been two years. Life isn't quite what it was, because the baby is now a pre-schooler and the big sister is in 2nd grade and involved in Girl Scouts and taking piano lessons. So it's slightly busier than it was before, but at least she's not involved in sports - that kind of schedule might just kill me. But even just the minimal involvement she has in activities, combined with her homework, mixed in with only about two hours total of "family time" (whatever that is), has led to some very unhealthy habits.

We can't change everyone at once - that just won't fly. So I decided to start with me. Two months ago, I joined Jenny Craig, and have been largely eating microwaved boxed food ever since. I don't find it particularly pleasant, and I don't do a very good job of sticking to it. We still go out to dinner any night that we are out as a family anyway - mostly weekends, but not always. And of course there are the holidays and nights out with friends or family. I try to make good choices, but seriously.. it depresses me. Having grilled chicken with broccoli when fettuccini alfredo is on the menu is just not something I have the willpower to do.

Enter exercise. I loathe exercise. Truly, I do. But given my inability to make good choices when presented with food items that cause me utter bliss, I have no choice. So in the last month I've dusted off the treadmill, and braved the zumba DVDs on occasion. I've even popped in the Wii fit disk a few times. But doing that and avoiding kicking or tripping over Jake is all but impossible. Neither child comprehends the need for personal space while exercising. So it typically waits until they're in bed - and it typically only happens during the nights when Rob puts them to bed.

My consultant has also encouraged me to start taking the stairs at work. All the way up to the 4th floor. Well, it's been nearly a month, and it still nearly kills me. So I modified. I take the steps all the way down, and then wander the hallways in the building until I reach a different staircase. Then I go up one flight, and wander the halls some more. I'm still going up all of the steps - just not all at the same time. And I have the benefit of being able to speak by the time I'm back at my desk.

So, if I can manage it, I'm going to log my exercise successes here. And maybe just journal about whatever interests me at the time. It probably won't be that interesting. But whatever. So far, I've lost 17 lbs. I have at least 40 more to go before "goal". If I make it, I'll want a log of how it happened. If I don't, I'll have a list of excuses. My first goal - post tonight before going to bed.

Resurrection

2008-11-06T16:40:00.002-06:00

Wow. It's been a year.. already. I'm thinking of resurrecting this blog. I just went back and read a bunch of the stuff I'd written, and honestly, I'd forgotten many of those stories. And some of them are VERY funny. Well, to me anyway. Now I'm sad for the stories over the last year that I've failed to tell.

So, I guess the way I'll start, is to congratulate our new president-elect, and to congratulate the American people for coming out to vote. My vote wasn't representative of that of my state, but that's OK. I still feel like it counted.

When we woke up yesterday morning, I told Nicole who was elected, and she got excited. I then went and told Jacob. Yeah, he's two, and he doesn't know what the big deal is. But it's still pretty damn cute when I say "Jakey - who's our next president?" and his little self replies "Rock Bama!"

Still around

2007-11-28T10:02:00.001-06:00

Oh dear. Has it really been since September that I posted anything! Holy cow. Time flies. I didn't write about our vacation, Jake's first birthday, how much I've been at work lately - nothing. So sorry about that.

Work I guess has been the primary reason for that. I'm a project manager, and my boss (not my most direct one, but the one above him) has decided that the holidays don't exist and my project needs to be implemented in early January. Lovely. Not just tons of overtime, but during the month when the after-work time is the tightest anyway! I've already lost one holiday, in that I worked the day after Thanksgiving when the office was closed. I'm scheduled to work again this Sunday. Ug.

Last year we had presents, but no tree, and no visits with Santa, or any of the other traditional stuff, because I was still recovering from a c-section, and Rob was recovering from shoulder surgery. I can't bear for another holiday season to go by without any cheer, so I guess I'm going to have to really pull out all of the supermom I have in me to get it all done.

Speaking of getting it all done, work is calling.. and Jake finally is having his one-year checkup, so I'm leaving early today as it is. I guess I better get back to it.

Bread

2007-09-16T15:28:00.001-05:00

Oh my god. Rob and Nicole just made the most amazing bread. Silly, I
realize, to get excited over bread. But seriously, this is some great
stuff. They started on it yesterday, because the dough needed to sit
overnight or something. Then they baked it this morning. It was a
crazy simple recipe - like flour, water and yeast. It wasn't
something that was supposed to rise, and it was baked in a big ol'
casserole dish.

So it's huge, dense, spongy, and with real butter all over it might
possibly be the best bread I've ever eaten, even though there is truly
nothing to it.

Why am I bothering wasting bandwidth on this, you might ask? Well,
because I'm realizing that we need to cook/eat at home more. Fast
food and restaurant food have not only sucked up way more of our
budget than it should, but I think it may have killed our taste buds.
I'm beginning to think that our tongues have been coated with so much
grease and preservatives over the year that we've completely forgotten
how the simplest of real foods taste.

Rob made some pork chops earlier in the week. Nothing major, just
seared them in a skillet with some oil and a little bit of some
seasoning mix from Penzeys. He's not a huge fan of pork, but I woofed
it down like I hadn't had a single bite of food in weeks. And maybe I
hadn't. Our diet largely consists of whatever can be had in a
drive-through on the way home - or delivery. Granted, it will suck up
most of what little time we get together as a family in the evenings,
with prep time, cook time, and clean-up. But maybe if we all just
hang out in the kitchen during that time anyway, we won't really be
missing out.

Sigh

2007-09-08T21:15:00.000-05:00

Epilepsy sucks. Rob's seizures simply drain the life out of me. I'm becoming more desensitized to actually watching them, but with every additional one, it's harder for me to recover emotionally. Today is one of those days.

So we started our day at 4:30am waking the kids and heading to the ER. He hasn't missed any medication, which means we needed to determine where his drug levels were. He tested low, which is a good thing in the sense that a medication adjustment should help, but it's a bad thing in that we don't know what caused it to fall (the levels had fallen by half). So they advised that he take three doses today, and follow up with his doc on Monday. No additional instructions for tomorrow.

Epilepsy sucks. I'm ready for him to be better, and every time this happens that he's been at home, I'm left to ponder the odds of the next one being in a car, or while he's just carrying Jake around the house. He's going to have more. There's no doubt. I just wonder who the next person is who will be hurt, and when. And I feel sick when I realize that I'm actually *hoping* that it's *just* him, and no one else.

Of Ear Infections and ERs

2007-09-02T19:42:00.001-05:00

What a weekend. Well, what a week actually. About a week and a half ago, Jake had his 9m well baby visit. All good. 20# and short. No ear problems, clear for take-off. The next day we get on a plane and head for Boston (Jake's first plane ride, and another whole story as far as the weekend details go). By the time we get back, we're exhausted, and Jake has a cold. It's hard to say if it was just a matter of course, or something he picked up by chewing a toy in the doctors office, or in recycled airplane air, or what.

So, about the middle of last week, Jake started having a fever. It started at 103, and Tylenol could get it to about 101. When doubled up with Motrin, he finally seemed to be getting some relief. But the nights were still awful. He wasn't sleeping, and I wasn't sleeping. So I took him to the doctor on Friday morning, and sure enough, the cold has decided to take up residence in his ears. He was given Amoxycillin (sp?), which I figured would be fine. He'd had it once before and didn't have problems. However, Nicole, Rob and I are all allergic. I should never have let the stuff even come into the house.

Here's where the ER comes in. Friday evening, as I was giving Jake his second dose of the day, I got a drip on my leg, which I wiped off with my finger. I then go to wipe Jake's face, in that Mom kind of way where you lick the tip of your fingers, and wipe the kids face. BAD MOVE. I could taste the medicine, but didn't really think anything of it since we're only talking about some residue - nothing more. I was still rocking him to sleep when I noticed that my palms were itching. By the time I put him down, my rings hurt, and my lips and tongue were tingly. I went downstairs to tell Rob I needed some Benedryl, but I quickly changed my mind, because I could see the rash on my hands spreading up my arm.

Fortunately, there is a brand new hospital about 5 minutes from the house. So, I drove myself so that the kids could stay in bed. I got in immediately, and they took only enough info to get me a bracelet. Within probably about 5 minutes, I had an IV and was receiving Benedryl and steroids. Let me just take this opportunity to say that IV Benedryl SUCKS! It felt like fire rushing through my veins, and at any point I could have pointed out how far through my body it had traveled. But I couldn't, because it felt like it was coming up my throat and I started to gag and choke. The doctors just stared while I pounded my chest trying to convince them that I was choking. But apparently, this is completely normal. Then, I felt just wrong. I wasn't sure whether I was going to faint, or float to the ceiling.

Once that feeling started to subside, the shakes set in. That went on for about an hour. Then, when everything was getting back to normal and the rash was clearly regressing, they came in and did my registration and gave me my discharge papers.

Over the last two days, Jake's cold has gotten progressively worse. The poor boy can't breathe through his nose at all, even though it's been running non-stop, soaking bib after bib. And, as for me, I'm still not right. I don't know if it's leftover swelling, or some drug side-effect, or what. But my chest has been heavy ever since. I can breathe, but sometimes it just hurts. I've got 4 more days of steroids to take, and an epi-pen to carry with me in case things flare up again (or I get too close to the medicine again), and I can't get to a hospital.

I think maybe even Jake needs to not have penicillin again. I think maybe it needs to never come into our house again - ever.

Wow

2007-08-18T22:16:00.001-05:00

If Jake wasn't a boy, I might think I had given birth to a clone.

Here are two pictures. One was taken today, the other was taken 35 years ago.

Terrible mommy moment

2007-08-09T10:25:00.001-05:00

So, have you ever had one of those moments when your child is utterly terrified (or maybe even hurt), and as much as you want to comfort them and be sympathetic, it's all you can do to control your desire to laugh? I had one of those this morning. It was almost cartoon-like. I was putting Jake in the car seat, and Nicole usually gets herself into the car and in the booster and can even get her seatbelt on most of the time. But this morning, I guess something else caught her attention.

As I was getting Jacob buckled in, I heard Nicole scream. I turned around, and saw her dangling from the bottom of the garage door! Before I could even get to her, she lost her grip and fell. The door was all the way up by the time she started yelping, so she probably fell a good 6 or 7 feet. The poor little thing had scrapes on the inside of her hand, and was just trembling violently. She was crying and was completely terrified. She landed on her feet, and wasn't really hurt by the fall, but just hanging there appeared to have scared her almost worse than she's ever been scared before.

But seriously - think about it. The vision of a four year old being pulled up with the garage door, and just hanging there. I didn't see her on the way up, but I'm telling you - the brief second that she was hanging there was just hysterical. I know I'm a terrible mom for thinking this was funny, but on the other hand, I can basically guarantee she won't ever do that again.

My latest addiction

2007-08-01T11:33:00.001-05:00

Months ago, I made a vow to myself to not spend any more money on scrapbooking for the rest of the year. I just suck. I couldn't do it. It's not because I'm lacking for supplies - I have plenty. It's just that I'm missing the ability (vision) to take all of the papers and whatnot and use them to compose a layout that I love. And when I'm stuck for inspiration, I wind up spending 3 hours on a single page, and I still don't love it.

I always used to use my monthly crop time with my friend (who used to be a CM consultant) to get fresh ideas and look at other people's books and get inspired again. But she gave it up, and now I have no crop - no monthly inspiration to look forward to. So I fixed that problem by joining Club Scrap! There goes my vow not to spend any more money - I committed to 6 months, at $30/month. Not terrible, but it definitely breaks my vow of no more stuff for the rest of the year.

However, here is the good news - I've discovered in the past few years that the layouts I love most have great color. But again, not something I'm good at doing myself. But Club Scrap has this "Assembly Line" deal, where they give you instructions for how to assemble your entire kit with no waste. Eureka! Exactly what I need! And the best part - I downloaded all of the published instructions for past kits. And even though I don't have those kits, I have heaps and heaps of paper that I don't know what to do with. So starting last night, I dug out several 12x12 papers that I've had for (no kidding) nearly a decade. I love them, but I couldn't figure out how to use them. So I went through the Assembly Line instructions and found layouts using papers with patterns of similar scale, and found coordinating solids, and put together 8 background layouts. I still don't have photos in mind for any of them, but at least I don't have the papers sitting there without a clue what to do with them. I went to bed so happy last night that I couldn't sleep. I think I'm going to be putting together backgrounds for probably the next month, but that's OK. They will be new, and colorful, and completely fabulous!

Gravity accident

2007-07-30T10:09:00.001-05:00

I swear, I must have just watched Nicole like a hawk when she was a baby. She never fell off of anything higher than her own butt. But now, I'm just not nearly as cautious. Poor little Jacob has crawled off of our bed twice, and this morning he tried a new trick - stair climbing. I had no idea he knew how to climb stairs. So, of course, I wasn't watching him, and he fell. Nicole said his feet were on the second step, so he didn't fall far, but nonetheless he fell.

I should have known that once he was pulling up to his feet that stairs weren't far behind, but I thought it would take just a little longer. He's been getting up on his knees for about a week, but only up to his feet for a couple of days. But I guess that's all it takes.

So tonight's after-work project: gates, gates, everywhere.

Free coffee - SCORE!

2007-07-17T10:23:00.001-05:00

I have a Starbucks habit. I could probably take a European vacation if I put all of the money I spent on Starbucks in one year in a jar instead. My regular order is a venti black coffee for work, and a tall mocha for the drive (the coffee is about 1000 degrees, and therefore does me no good on the actual commute). It totals $4.82.

So today I pull up to the window, and they hand me my coffees, and explain that they're having some trouble with their computer, so the coffee is on them today.

WooHoo! Hopefully the rest of the day will go equally as well. :-)

Beadwork gone bad

2007-07-15T13:27:00.000-05:00

Usually, we tell Nicole that after lunch it is naptime. She generally sulks, but goes ahead and walks upstairs and goes to bed. Today however, she decided to do beadwork. I'm not sure how she progressed from stringing a necklace to sticking a bead up her nose, but then again, there are lots of things about 4year olds that I don't understand.

She came down the steps crying, and presented us with a bloody nose. Usually, this comes from a compulsive picking episode. But she denied that was the case. She's had bloody noses before, but it's always been because of picking or being boffed in the nose - never just random. We finally got out of her that she put a bead up there and was trying to get it out.

So at this moment, she's up at the urgent care with Daddy while I hang at home and let Jake finish out his nap. I'm guessing there will be a bead extraction procedure, and then they will be sent home. But I guess I'll go hit the shower, in the unlikely event that they can't get it out and send her to the ER.

What a fun way to start a Sunday afternoon....

Leaving Home

2007-07-13T20:50:00.001-05:00

This evening, after I got home from work, my darling four-year-old
daughter informed me that tomorrow, *before* it was wake up time, she
was going to get dressed in her pink Aurora dress, and sneak out of
the house as quietly as she could, and go to her school. Then she was
going to climb over the fence, and wait for Shelby. When Shelby got
there, they would tiptoe to Shelby's grandmother's house and pick
flowers.

I wasn't entirely sure what to say. I didn't want to make a joke
about it, because if she really did get up and leave the house, it
could be a huge problem, obviously. So I asked her why she would ever
want to leave without telling mommy or daddy, because we would be so
sad when we couldn't find her. She then responded that she promised
that she'd tell us first, before she left. But that wasn't an
original part of her story. So I told her that if she ever left and
*didn't* tell us, that she would be in big, big trouble. She again
promised that she'd tell me before she sneaked out of the house.

Now, realistically, her bedroom door squeaks, and before that even,
she usually goes to the bathroom when she gets up, and the upstairs
plumbing runs through one of our bedroom walls. And, if, for some
reason, she actually got through those noises without waking me up,
she couldn't get past the alarm system. So she's not getting much
further than the front yard, at best.

But I'm left wondering if I should call Shelby's parents. I don't
want to tattle on Shelby, or even accuse her of being a bad influence
on Nicole (especially since Shelby starts Kindergarten next week and
won't be spending nearly as much time at the day care as she was
before). I'm sure their little adventure plans are harmless. But
clearly Nicole wasn't the only person involved in this plan, because
if it were completely up to Nicole, she'd be going to her own
grandma's house to pick flowers.

I generally cross paths with Shelby's dad a few times when we're
dropping off the kids - maybe if Nicole is still set on these plans
next week, he and I can have a talk. The last thing I need is for
Shelby to leave home and declare that it was all Nicole's idea.

Ah.. the joys of raising kids. :-)

The things they say

2007-07-12T21:36:00.000-05:00

This is mostly about Nicole, since all Jake can say is dadadadada.

She's been saying some very sweet things lately. For instance, she's quite interested in my wardrobe. She gets especially happy when I wear a skirt. Earlier this week, she said, "Thank you, mommy, for wearing that beautiful skirt". To which I replied "Thank you, Nicole. That was very nice of you to say". Any time I wear a heel she'll comment about my beautiful shoes, and she always thanks me if I go so far as to put on a necklace.

A few days ago, I used some little clips to pull her bangs back (I'm trying to grow them out), and I asked her to look in the mirror and see if if looked OK. She said they did, and then posed the question, "Am I gorgeous?". I promptly confirmed that she indeed was, gorgeous. She loves to be beautiful, and is quick to point out to others how beautiful she finds something about them. But "gorgeous" is new, just this week.

Tonight, she went through the toybox and found a few miscellaneous dress-up items, and a few purses and a headband. She also found one dress-up shoe. She came clip-clopping down the hallway, and showed me all of her purses. I asked her why she was wearing only one shoe. Without hesitation, she very matter-of-factly pointed out, "Well, because I'm Cinderella" and then went about her business.

Unfortunately we ended the night on a sad note, because I cut the back of my leg on a nail, and had her daddy patch it up for me. She's incredibly sympathetic, that one. As she was holding a tissue on it (while daddy went to find neosporin), she said, in a very weepy voice, "I'm so sorry, mommy, that you're hurting". The poor thing was almost in tears. I assured her that I was really going to be very fine. But knowing her emotional little self, she'll probably have a bloody nightmare about it.

Uh oh.. speaking of bleeding, looks like the bandage wasn't quite heavy-duty enough. Time to re-dress.

Bring the coffee...

2007-07-10T09:46:00.001-05:00

Wow, am I tired today. Rob needed to get back to work, but without knowing what his drug levels are on the new drug, there's no way he was driving. So that meant car pooling. Unfortunately, his job isn't exactly on route to my job. And the worst part is, we have to get the kids by 6, which usually requires me to be out the door no later than 5, because it will take me every bit of an hour to get to them before the day care closes. But now, adding a detour to get Rob first, I have to leave even earlier. So, in order to not have to start cashing in vacation hours, I need to get to work that much earlier to make up the time (I usually stay until 6 and Rob picks up the kids since his commute is so much shorter, and not as impacted by rush hour).

So this morning started an hour and a half earlier than normal, and I'm already wiped clean out. On top of that, Jake has been having some kind of issues where he likes to burst out and scream every couple of hours. We had this problem with him and silent reflux, but after we had a few weeks of prevacid under his belt, he was much better. I hope it's not the medicine failing. I'm kind of hoping that it's teeth or something that will be resolved in a week or two. Because I'm not getting any sleep! After about 2 trips upstairs to give him his pacifier, I bring him back down with me. The boy has really outgrown the bassinet, but if he's going to need a pacifier 4 and 5 times a night, I don't want to have to get out of bed to give it to him.

Anyway, bring on the coffee. It's going to be one of those days. And the week is still just getting started. :-(

Big boys - big toys

2007-07-09T13:32:00.000-05:00

It seems that, with the exception of the time he broke his shoulder, my husband comes out of his seizures with a new zest for life. It's usually brief, and then he goes back to being him, but I'll take what I can get.

I woke up yesterday morning to the sound of an RC truck slamming into the drywall and baseboards, and my daughter laughing so loud you could probably hear it outside of the house. I have no idea what possessed Rob to get this truck down out of the closet, but he did. And that truck defined our whole day. For starters, he decided he wanted a new, bigger truck. So we got the kids ready for a trip out and headed to the hobby store. Several hundred dollars later, Rob had a new toy. Of course, this toy didn't have the batteries charged or anything, but that's why we packed the original truck with us. From the hobby store, we picked up some sub sandwiches and headed to the park.

Jake and I stayed in the safe shade of the pavilion, but Rob and Nicole played with the original truck in an unused baseball field. The truck chased Nicole all over that ball field and stirred up a whole storm of dust. But she didn't seem to care. She just kept running. I watched, and tried to take a few pictures (post those later), and Jake ate cheerios. It was really a lot of fun. Well, until a bunch of rowdy local kids came and started bugging Rob about the truck. They weren't dangerous, but they were loud, and the language wasn't anything we needed Nicole to be exposed to, and they seemed insistent on being wherever we were. So we decided it was time to go home.

After a 3+ hour nap, Rob woke Nicole up to have some dinner. But first, the new truck's batteries were charged, so it needed a test run around the yard. Nicole was glad to help. She ran around the yard so that the truck had something to chase.

All in all, it was a very good day. I wish we were in the habit of having more like that.

Independence Day

2007-07-05T12:27:00.000-05:00

Our holiday was quite busy. It was a mixture of good and bad. We started off by participating in our subdivision parade. It was fun, but I hadn't really intended on being in it - only taking the kids up the street to watch. But the neighbors were going to be in it, and their little boy had one of those little cars, and Nicole rode with him. So it wound up not being that bad just pulling Jake in the wagon. At the end of the parade route, we get to an empty lot, and the firetruck that led the parade hooked up to a hydrant and gave the kids a massive sprinkler to play in.

Unfortunately, it was just too hot to hang out, and certainly too hot to haul both kids all the way back up the hill. So I called Rob to come rescue us.

Both kids were pretty worn out just from being in the sun, so we got home, got Nicole some lunch, and then when both kids were napping, we resumed clean-up. That's where things started to go badly. Rob had another seizure while we were cleaning up the kitchen. I was there, and managed to keep him from getting hurt. Jake was up by this time, and I think he could sense that I wasn't quite right, because he just started screaming for no reason (like I needed that on top of an unconscious husband). Anyway, I eventually managed to get Rob on the floor and then started working on Jake. Luckily Jake was calmed down by the time Rob woke up (it usually takes about 30 minutes).

He didn't want to go to the hospital, and he didn't want to cancel the party. So he just rested up until the time the guests were due. I asked my dad to do the cooking, and I asked our friends to be in charge of the fireworks. Rob was extremely wiped out, and wound up being pretty nauseous before the night was over, but the party went on without him, just as he instructed. The kids swam, and played in the back yard; everyone ate until they were stuffed, and then we all ate home-made ice cream (courtesy of my grandma) while we watched the pyrotechnics show.

I called in to work today, so I could stay home with him. We haven't heard back from the doctor as to what we should be doing about the medication. So until we've changed something, he's just as likely as yesterday to have another seizure.

This is so draining...