Ramblings of Fallula47 - Thoughts, Life, Experiences

2010

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 19:36:00 +0000

Okay. That's it. I've had enough. If my husband does not have a job by January 31st I am pulling our daughter out of her beloved daycare. I do not want to do this, but I have no options left. There is no reason for her to be in daycare if he is home available to watch her, this is ridiculous. January 31st is his deadline. We can not afford this, and this year WILL BE BETTER than last. We may still have money struggles, but we don't have to throw unnecessary struggles in there too. I'm am so flippin frustrated and pissed off right now I just want to shout at the top of lungs every obscenity I know. People, for your own safety...steer clear of me today.

School

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 22:28:00 +0000

Alright, my financial aid application was submitted this morning. This is the first step to my future. I'm still not sure what I want to do, but I'm starting. I am taking control of my life and it's going to be great.

New Year is almost here!

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 23:39:00 +0000

Yay!!!! 2009 is almost OVER!!!!!!!!! Thank you, this last year has been rough. I am happy to see it come to an end. Next Year is going to be amazing, it's going to be a kick off year. I have plans (and I will make it happen) for school, possibly culinary school, and tons more. So, since I'm here now, I should consider where I would like to take this blog next year. Hmmmm, definitely more posts, more emotion, more life. That's what this blog needs- more life. I have plenty, it's just finding the time to share.

Well, for my little family, we will not be partying the night away. No no, we will be at home. But I'm ok with that. In fact, I have plans for us. Resolutions and a time capsule will be made on New years Eve. The Hubby and I will watch a movie, maybe sip on some mimosa's, it will be nice, possibly romantic, relaxing.

Here's to 2010!

To DO

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:09:00 +0000

make an escape plan
Set your release date
Build your freedom fund.

This is what I have to do. I do not want to work here anymore. Lots of reasons, I don't really feel like going over them all again, personal, business, people, my own dreams. The norm. Either way, I'm over this job and ready to move on. Only problem, I am currently the only one working in our household and I am the one with the insurance benefits. Both are major issues that are going to have to be figured out before the rest of the family (the rest being my husband as my daughter is too young to care) will jump on board. I've got a lot of work cut out for me. I can do it though.

Just a lil pissy

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:03:00 +0000

I'm sitting here listening to this little brat bitch about how she doesn't make enough money. Her current financial predicament is as follows: She ordered a costume online but she purposely ordered it a size smaller than she normally wears hoping that she would lose the weight in the next 2 weeks. Sounds like a great plan to me. Well, the costume has arrived and lo and behold, it doesn't fit!! Well, she can't possibly wear one of the 50 costumes she already has because, well, she's already worn them. So now she has to return it and get one that does fit, but since she bought it online they won't refund her money until after she ships it back. Well princess here does not want to wait that long to buy a new costume, she has to go out tonight and buy a new one. This brings us up to date in the current conversation which is going like this; "Well I have to pay my bills and I don't know if I can afford another $60 on top of that for this costume and I'm trying to save money to go to Austin (where I can get blasted drunk and black out and not remember anything anyway) so I just don't know." Sounds like princess needs to ask daddy for a raise. But she'll probably just charge it to the company amex card

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 23:52:00 +0000

Ok. I need a new career. Everyone hates me here. No i'm not being self conscious, they really do dislike me. I'm tired. I'm stressed.

Again,

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 17:16:00 +0000

I'm bored. I'm un-interested. I need something new. Again. Maybe it has something to do with fall. Fall is such a transitional season to me. Not really sure why, must be that everything around me is changing, why not my life too. I don't know. It's kind of annoying. I would like to be happy and content and care about my job just as much as I did months ago. I just don't. I don't know what is wrong with me. So I'll change jobs just to feel the same way about the change next year.

Morning or night, pick one

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:55:00 +0000

I haven't exercised in 2 weeks. I've been eating well, I am very proud of that, but it's not enough to reach my goal. the exercise has to come in to play. I am just having the hardest time getting up in the morning. I tried to go to bed early so when I wake up earlier I should be well rested, but I find myself not being able to go to sleep. If I don't' do it in the morning then I have to do it at night. that is all there is to it. So I will have to exercise tonight. That's going to be tough. But I'm going to try. I have to do something. Wish me luck, and motivation. I'm going to need it.

Feelin' good

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 23:24:00 +0000

I feel good. I made a quiche last night, it was spectacular. Of course I was the only one who ate it, hubby refuses anything with cheese. Too bad, it was good.

I've also started exercising again, I lapsed for about 2 weeks, but I'm back on track. Diet is back on track too. portion control, smart choices and a large variety plus daily vitamins. I'm doing well, I'm proud of myself and I feel good.

Wedding

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 17:14:00 +0000

Wedding stuff is tiring me out. Spent all weekend looking for just rings and a dress. I came home with nothing. I just couldn't find what I wanted. Bummer. I want a nap.

What did she say?

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 17:43:00 +0000

So if you didn't catch it in my last post, I'm getting married. This has been the plan for quite some time but now we have actual plans and a date and things are in motion. I'm really very excited, and a little overwhelmed. Tomorrow I'm taking off work to go look at venues, right now I'm listening to music on project playlist to try and pick a song to walk down the aisle to. I"m really excited, this is so much different than last time.
For those of you that don't know, I was supposed to get married (different guy) a few years ago. I cancelled the wedding 2 days before, and it was probably the best decision I've ever made. Now I'm ready to try again and already it is a million times better than my last wedding planning experience.
Currently we have only made one decision, we are getting married in June. Tomorrow we will decide on the venue and the rest will follow from there. It will be hard, I only have a $4000 budget. Because of what happened last time we decided that it would be best to fund the wedding ourselves rather than ask for help from my parents. Not to mention my parents are hurting financially right now.
I can make it work though, and it will be special and lovely and memorable. I can't wait.

I'm tired

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 17:35:00 +0000

Oh my god I'm sooooo tired! The baby was up late last night. I think she has some more teeth coming in, molars this time. I got up at 5:30 with the intention of exercising but I was so tired that I was walking through the house just dizzy and in a daze. I decided to just do an easy 10 minute yoga workout. I put in the DVD and ended up just sitting there watching the video, I couldn't get my body to move. I feel really bad about about this because I didn't exercise all weekend or yesterday. I have to get on the ball, I'm getting married soon, have to look pretty in my dress.

High Hopes for a Good Day

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 16:56:00 +0000

I feel good today. I did a 30 min. workout video this morning. I'm proud of myself because I didn't want to do anything, I was considering doing just a 10 min. yoga relaxation video but I went for the hard one instead. I look cute, I feel good, I think it will be a good day.

Massage please, party of one.

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 16:59:00 +0000

Oh My. I thought it would be a good idea to kick up my workouts a lil bit, since I have been seeing no results. Well, today, I can barely move. Maybe I kicked it up a bit too much too soon. It doesn't help that I have started my period and my lower back is killing me. Really, I feel like I'm dying it hurts so bad. This is awful.

Cough, Cough, Do I hear bells?

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 22:59:00 +0000

I'm planning a wedding. Well, not just a wedding, my wedding. I have a budget of $4000. I want it to look and feel like a million bucks of course. I'm not quite sure how I am going to accomplish this. Especially with no time to just go around looking at places. It's kinda hard getting out of the house these days and just do a whole bunch of running around. I am going to have to recruit a babysitter. Or maybe I'll call in sick. That's it! That just came to me. I have a sick day available, I'm going to use it. This day will have to be very well planned to squeeze every usable minute out of it and make some progress. Yes, I will be sick, and I will find the perfect affordable wedding and reception location. I can do this.

What's for dinner?

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 17:26:00 +0000

I made chicken Marsala last night. It was pretty good, a little too much thyme but overall not bad. Even the hubby ate it. There might be hope for my cooking skills after all! Tonight is a pasta bake casserole.

A sitcom a sitcom

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 00:17:00 +0000

I think I need to watch more sitcoms. I used to watch sitcoms all the time, I was a sitcom junkie. Now, with the baby, I don't get to watch anything before 8 pm, and I'm usually only up till 9pm. So my TV viewing window is very short and I am not one of those lucky ones with a DVR or Tivo. I don't even have a VCR to record shows. So I usually end up watching reality TV or some drama crime or hospital show. This may be why I've become preoccupied with my mortality. I need to watch happier shows. Mindless, funny, happy sitcoms. I miss them.

I smell a revolution coming

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 20:02:00 +0000

I work for a family. The Wife is the office manager. When she chooses to come in that is. To put it as nicely as possible, she is a huge pain in the ass, and she really doesn't understand what we do or what she is supposed to be doing for that matter. That part is besides the point. She has now become the smoking police. She has mandated that we are not to smoke any more than 3 cigarettes per day.
First of all, I am an adult. I can manage my smoking habit I don't need it managed for me. Second of all, my smoking habit does not interfere with my job nor does it bother or inconvenience anyone else. Third of all, if you want to be the big office boss, you may mandate how many breaks I may take each day and how long they are, but you can not tell me I can only smoke three cigarettes per day. Fourth of all, if you deny a smoker a cigarette that they are intensely craving, you are not going to make up time in the office by denying them, they will simply not be able to function properly because they will be distracted, irritated, angry, and unable to focus.
This will unfortunately turn into a battle. I can see it now. The smokers of the office will revolt and it will not end happily.

It's instant!

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 15:46:00 +0000

I have discovered the magic of instant coffee. Why have I not tried this before?? I am by no means a coffee snob, if it's hot, caffeinated, and tasted like it could be coffee then I'll drink it. This instant stuff is amazing! Especially since I am one of those people who will make coffee, forget to clean out the grounds, and then discover the mold growing a week later. Nice.

Exercise is good

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:40:00 +0000

So, I'm a little wishy washy these past couple of days. My heads clear one minute and foggy the next. My goals change from hour to hour and out of the blue I start thinking about Life goals and going back to school and having more kids. I'm all over the place! It's crazy inside this head of mine, which makes it hard to concentrate on anything. I guess it'll pass in time. On the upside I have been exercising every morning for about 3 weeks. Not like hard stuff, but some short Yoga and Pilates tapes. It's a good start and soon I'll be graduating to harder stuff, I just wanted to start out slow as to not burn myself out and set an actual committed routine in place. I think it has worked, I manage to get up at 5:30am and, so far, have had the motivation to exercise. This is good.

Maybe baby???

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 17:05:00 +0000

I think I want another baby. There, I said it.

Really? I'm not sure now. I do, but I don't. It's a hard decision. Well actually it's not. We don't have a big enough house to have another child, comfortably, we don't have enough money to support 2 children comfortably. I'm stressed enough as it is and I can't even get the dishes done, really...they have been sitting in the sink for a week, another baby will be just that more stressful. It's not a good idea right now. But I don't want to wait too long right? Or do I? I shouldn't even be thinking about this. There are bigger more important issues to take care of right now and I'm babbling on about more babies.

Please leave amessage...

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 05:35:00 +0000

I don't like talking to people on the phone. Therefore; I love email, and texting.

Don't know what caused this rant

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:12:00 +0000

I'm not feeling much better. There is still a definite lack of motivation in my life right now. Tough. Through the wonders of myspace and facebook I am able to keep tabs on some people I used to know way back when. It's nice, until you realize that they are ubber successful, or incredibly intelligent and doing something with that, or still clinging to their youth and partying and having a great time, or they are just drop dead gorgeous. It makes me very self conscious, to the point where I'm thinking about how I could get some good pictures and put them up and write something so intelligent that would have people in awe.

If I could only write and publish and Nobel prize winning novel withing the next month and post a streaming video of the award ceremony (novels win Nobel prizes right or is that movies? no, I'm pretty sure it's books)or some really nice photos of me signing autographs with my daughter on my lap and my supportive husband standing with us. It's ridiculous really theses notions I have. I make myself laugh.

Instead I opt to just keep quiet. Pass under the radar, give congrats when their due and smile. Because I'm happy. Just the way my life is (I would be overjoyed however if I could drop a few more pounds). And I don't feel the need to rub it in other people's faces. Okay that's a lie. But it's hard to show via Internet, and really is not worth the trouble. When i get around to it I will, but I'm busy having fun with my family.

What can I say, I'm lazy

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:39:00 +0000

I don't feel like doing anything right now. I haven't felt like doing anything for the past few days. I'm feeling very very lazy and have only done the things that are necessary. If it is not necessary than I'm doing it. I wish I wasn't feeling so lazy, I have a lot to do. Perhaps it is my diet, or lack of exercise, I don't know. I sure could use a nap about now.

Content lacking

noreply@blogger.com (Fallula47) — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 19:42:00 +0000

I've been a little preoccupied lately. I'm trying to clean up and organize the house. It is a really big project, really really big. We have a lot of stuff, to put it simply, and a tiny house. It's impossible to walk through the house without tripping on piles of stuff. Piles and piles of stuff everywhere. It's very hard to find the motivation to do anything because for one, I don't really know where to start there's so much, and for two, it will take a long time to do so there is no instant gratification in finishing something, sometimes it just seems hopeless.

When I do find the motivation to start again i just have to roll with it and not stop unless I have to. Thus, my lack of posts recently.

That's not the only reason. I've also been trying to create a budget for our household. This has proven to be rather difficult but recent developments have made things much easier so I'm almost finished.