Ramblings on the job

Please, tell me what to do.

2011-11-11T10:23:00.000-05:00

If you're not recruiting at all, you don't get to me tell me I'm recruiting for too any things.

If you already have a guaranteed job to go back to after school, you don't get to tell me how focusing on academics is so important because we're here to learn.

If you're from this country, you don't get to tell me I need to chill out, everything will work out.

Hell yeah I'm recruiting for too many things. My Outlook calendar for the past two weeks has not had any free slots longer than 15 minutes.

I need to improve my grades, but I don't have time to look at any of my course packs before 11 PM on any given night, by which point I am usually too exhausted to do anything at all.

The things I want to recruit for don't hire internationals, and the things that do hire internationals need you to schmooze and suck up like nobody's business. And that's just a tiny chink in my long list of concerns.

I spend every evening in some networking event or the other, where some moron always asks the recruiter about how important social impact is for their firm, or what initiatives are run for women. Can I please crib about how sick I am of these two questions? What is the recruiter going to say, we don't think these issues are important? Really?

I am sick and tired of people telling me to relax, because dammit, I need a job. And I'm doing what I gotta do to get a job. Stop annoying me and get out of my way.

The power of the crowd

2011-09-24T16:49:00.000-04:00

Well. This accounting assignment doesn't seem to be getting done anytime soon, so I might as well rant a bit. Someone told me this morning it's cathartic.

I'd like to think that I've never really given in to peer pressure much, be it in terms of career, lifestyle, relationships, or most notably, as several of my friends would tell you, fashion choices. It's strange then, that the immense pressure to give in and run with the pack has finally caught up with me now, at business school, in my mid-20s.

I came to B-school with three years of consulting experience behind me, with the aim of going into general management after school. That was the plan, right from when I wrote my essays to when I received my offers, to when I accepted the offer from this school. Then I received these mails about pre-workshops to learn more about consulting; all my peers travelling India were arriving early to attend this, so I figured, why not? And spent the rest of the summer thinking I would look at both management consulting and general management as career options.

After the workshop, however, I simply wasn't sure if this was what I wanted. And the more I go to information events or company presentations about consulting, the more my discomfort increases. The more I become convinced that this is really not what I want.

But saying that, and simply going after general management, isn't so easy. I'd like to say I don't give into peer pressure, but when you see everyone around you dressed in formals because some consultants are coming to give a company presentation, and you're sitting in your jeans and a sweatshirt, you can't help but wonder if you're missing out on something. I told a Second Year student I'm dithering between the two, and his instinctive reaction was "Trust me, you'll end up in consulting. Never underestimate the power of the crowd."

Part of me also wonders if I'm being an escapist, if I'm trying to take the easy route, if I'm giving up something I should be doing. But then I go to a general management event, and I'm excited by what they say, and I know why I want to be there. I go to a consulting event, and I have no idea why I'm there. Maybe I should trust my gut instinct a bit more.

But it's not easy running against the pack.

Goin' a lil' crazy

2011-09-13T17:43:00.001-04:00

If you follow me on twitter and/or my other blog (which I'm sure you do, because I don't see how else you could know this blog existed), you would know that two months ago, I moved half a world away from everything I knew and everyone I love to join B-school.

During Orientation, I was gullible enough to sign up for something called a Izzy Dizzy relay, a fascinating activity where a team of 4 or 5 people essentially run a relay where they have to take turns to place their head on a baseball bat held to the ground, walk around it ten times, and then run to a point and back. Everyone thinks, as as they watch others walk around the bat, and then sway to the other end of the field, that they'll be able to do it just fine - there's no way they'll get so dizzy that they fall to the ground. Then it's their turn and you see them fall to the ground almost as soon as they straighten up from that cursed baseball bat.

It's the same with business school I think. You hear from all your Second Years how crazy and intense it gets, and you believe them, but a part of you is always sure that you'll cope just fine. You did consulting after all, or you worked for a start-up, or you did banking - you know what it's like to have long hours and crazy schedules.

But you don't. Not the way business school makes you learn. There are classes, and there are career events, and there are clubs that you must sign up for because prospective employers must see you as a holistic personality, and there are social events where everyone thinks they're back at a college frat party, and there are people to get to know, and teams to learn to work with, and an apartment to clean, and meals to be cooked, and just SO MUCH TO DO and not enough hours in a day.

You speak to your family, and they tell you what's happening back home, and they tell you not to worry, and you can't explain to them that you will forget what they told you two seconds after you end the call, because that deadline two hours away must be met. You want desperately to speak to your friends back home, but when you do, you have no idea what to say, because it's hard to explain the intensity of what you're going through without sounding like a whiner. Your fellow FYs ask you how's it going, and invariably the answer is "it's going" or "swimming" or "so far so good" or just something that indicates you're surviving.

Then a SY you bump into in the corridor asks you if you regret quitting your job, taking that huge loan, and joining school again yet, and you look at him and realise that you know what, you don't. Because while this is intense, and you're going to have no sleep whatsoever for the next four months at the very least, if then, you're also learning a lot - about people, about subjects you've never studied, about what you need to do to get that dream job, and about yourself. And you wouldn't give up that experience for the world.

And then it strikes you that damn, this is just the second week of school. How am I ever going to get through this?

And now I really must go work on that presentation.

Learnings and Take-aways

2011-05-04T00:56:00.003-04:00

This blog never really took off, did it? And now it's become even more redundant. Because you see, as of 6 PM last Friday evening, I am officially jobless. That's right, I left the job. The job that was my life for nearly three years, the job that drove me crazy, the job which made me collapse to the point of illness, the job where the people irritated the hell out of me with their pettiness, the job I slowly began to get fairly detached from, the job I loved doing till my very last day.

To celebrate my joblessness, I am going to share with you what I learnt in three years of HR consulting:

Clients are either smart, nice or sensible. Rarely two of these together. Almost never all three. Usually none of the above.
Human resources, to the world at large, is where the world's most incompetent people work. I have gathered this from both employees of various client organizations, as well as the HR bashing that crops up on my twitter timeline from time to time. The only reason I have never bothered to defend HR much is because as a consultant, I tend to agree that most line HR folks are idiots. Most.
The best clients/ HR people are those who either moved from a operational role to HR or those who moved from consulting to line HR. The former have a better sense of what is needed and what will work in the organizational context, and the latter have slightly more brains.
Colleagues, by and large, suck. They're petty, and political, and often very frustrating if you're the type for whom commitment to the job comes first. I was that type.
On the other hand, the odd colleague who feels the same way about work can be an absolute delight to work.
Having two bosses can be both exhilarating and exasperating. Exhilarating because both had very different styles, working with both was extremely exciting and useful, and I got to do different kinds of projects as a result. Exasperating because you how when the mother and the father both ask you to do something, and you don't know which way to turn? Imagine going through that in the office too, almost daily? Yeah.
Almost nothing of what you learn in grad school gets applied in the workplace. Statistics, sure. A bit of jargon about psychometrics, okay. But all those boring theories of motivation? Zilch use.
Men are creeps. I got hit on by an ancient one-foot-in-the-grave type HR head, who happens to be one of the big wigs in HR circles. Sundry colleagues have got weird texts and compliments from men they met in BD meetings. Utterly grossing out.
Certain meetings, you need to take a male colleague along. Certain clients, you have wear saris. Certain cities, stick to Indian wear. You have to decide how to dress depending on who you're meeting that day.
Most HR Heads - male ones, that is - tend to have a PYT as an assistant or an HR Executive. I don't mean this to be denigrating in any way, but it's true. Occassionally, they'll be bright and doing good work, but more often than not, you kinda wonder what they're there for.
Even if your office lets you wear jeans to work on Fridays, keep a change of clothes with you. You never known when that painful client will call and say a meeting got fixed up.
If it's been an easy day, with not much happening, all hell is certain to break loose at precisely 5.56 PM, just when you're thinking you can go home early-ish for a change.
Some clients are just never going to trust you. They will call you only if your boss is not taking their calls, and as soon as is possible, they will call your boss to update them on exactly what they told you. Even though you've already updated your boss because you know, she sits in the next room.
The number of people who have no idea how to use MS Word and MS Excel properly is astounding.
The world would be a much happier place if people just stopped using Power Point for everything.
The two words in the title of this post are the most overused and abused words in HR consulting. And they're not even real words.

So. many. mails.

2010-12-01T11:21:00.003-05:00

There's a client who loves to call at 6 PM in the evening with an urgent requirement that needs to go live as of yesterday. He'll chase you night and day till you close stuff and send it for him to take a look. And then he goes silent.

His subordinate tells you that if he hasn't responded, he must be okay with it, so go ahead and put it live. So you do, and feel very proud of your awesome TAT. But then the client calls, and says that you need to make changes. And you ask him, "but didn't you see it when we sent it to you for your approval?"

And he replies, "I get so many mails from you. I don't read all of them."

Really.

Hiatus

2010-06-02T05:37:00.003-04:00

This blog is on an indefinite hiatus till the author feels she can ramble about her job in a more mature and discrete manner. Seriously.

Meanwhile, plizz to visit the author's other blog, where she doesn't feel the need to worry about such mundane things as maturity and discretion: Meandering thoughts...

Whims and fancies

2009-03-17T14:41:00.003-04:00

I keep cribbing about the utter lack of service orientation in most companies these days, and how they simply don't know how to handle customers. As a consultant, it's often quite exhausting trying to deal with the whims and fancies of various clients. Some change their mind on what they want every hour, some never get back to you on information you need but drive you crazy if you are 30 seconds late for a deadline, and some think they're the only client in the world you could possibly have and that you have no need for food or sleep. But you learn to deal with these, because, well, it's part of the job.

But on the other hand, as a consultant, I do expect to be at the receiving end of at least some basic courtesy as well. Like what, you ask? Oh I don't know, maybe like when you agree to meet someone, actually meet them?

My colleague and I travelled out of town yesterday, to meet some potential clients. One of these companies is a fairly old, well-known FMCG company. I've grown up seeing and probably using their products. We reached their office about half an hour early, and were asked to wait. After an hour passed, and we still hadn't been met by the person concerned, I went to the reception and asked how much longer we would have to wait. Which is when we were told that the person we were scheduled to meet has gone off-site on some work, and they don't know when he would be returning. When I asked for his manager, who had also said he would try to meet us, I was put on the phone with him, and he told me he had never confirmed this meeting because they have no need for our services.

I don't have a problem with people not meeting us, or not wanting to know what we do. But when you know someone is traveling to your city to meet you, tell them you don't want to meet before they travel to your city. Not when they've been waiting for the past hour in the same building you're sitting in.

PS: Tiny disclaimer here - if you're a client, or a potential client, anyone described above is not you! :)

And in continuation...

2008-11-26T02:23:00.002-05:00

I also need to let go of my habit of saying it like it is... turns out people don't appreciate it all that much. Huh. Who'd've thunk?

It strikes me...

2008-11-25T03:40:00.004-05:00

It occurred to me the other day that I can no longer afford to be as flippant and contemptuous on my blogs as I have tended to be ever since I began blogging. A certain amount of political correctness seems to be the order of the day, especially since sundry colleagues and clients have mentioned going through my other blog. Which is an interesting proposition, seeing as I don't think I've been diplomatic or politically correct in my life.

Take that

2008-10-19T14:58:00.001-04:00

One of my main cribbing points for India is that its customer service orientation, well, sorta sucks. You call any customer care helpline number, and I can guarantee that you'll be ready to tear your hair out within minutes.

In the last few days, I've had two interesting experiences; one which proved this opinion completely wrong, and then one that proved me completely right.

I'm supposed to coordinate all IT requirements for the firm I work in; we recently needed to order two desktops, so I was coordinating with the company we usually buy our machines from. The desktops were delivered last Saturday, and by Thursday, no one had showed up to configure them. When I emailed the contact person in Chennai, he replied someone would be in touch asap, and sure enough, someone called that afternoon. This guy, on hearing that I wanted someone to show up at the soonest, asked me to hang on, and turned to his colleague and said something fairly rude about me. When he came back on the line, I let him know that I had heard what he had said. Forget apologizing, he coolly informed me that all the engineers had visits already scheduled, and we couldn't have one visit us till the next evening. Which was the point when I lost it.

Not only did I give it off to him, but once I got off the phone, I emailed our contact person telling him what had happened. Within minutes, I received a call from him asking about what had happened, and apologizing profusely. Half an hour later, I got a call from a fairly senior guy from the company apologizing again, and assuring me that he would schedule an engineer visit at the soonest, and that he would call me as soon as he could confirm a time for me. Not only did he call me back later (twice, actually), he also had me talk to another senior guy who apologized yet again, and even thanked me for being so patient and hearing them every time. By evening, I had actually been apologized to so many times that I was heartily wishing I had never shot off that email. Plus, I'm pretty sure the guy who had spoken to me so rudely would've been sacked by then, and I was beginning to feel quite guilty about it.

On the other hand, Friday evening I hit the malls in Gurgaon and went to two-three departmental stores. The last one I visited, I paid with my debit card. The guy at the counter swiped my card and returned it to me; however, a minute or two later, he asked for my card again saying that there was some problem and that he needed to swipe it again. As I was giving him my card, I received an SMS notification saying that the bill amount had been debited from my account. When I told him this, he said that wasn't possible because the machine hadn't processed my card, and went ahead and swiped my card a second time. Immediately, I got a second SMS notification that the same amount had been debited again. When I showed this to him, he called his manager who told him this wasn't possible, and he therefore told me that I must be mistaken.

I immediately called my bank's customer care who informed me that yes, the same amount had been debited twice. Fortunately, I was able to block payment on the second transaction.

On telling the guy at the counter what the bank had said, he called his manager down. The manager came down and asked me what had happened. He heard me out with a smirk on his face, and informed me that that wasn't possible because their machines were just fine.

I can understand a machine giving problems, I can understand the guy at the counter making a mistake, and it wasn't a particularly big amount that had got debited. What annoyed me was that I was told, repeatedly, despite me showing them my SMS notifications as well as what the bank customer care officer told me, that I must be mistaken and that they have not charged me twice.

Simply making the sale to a customer very often isn't enough. We have six-seven different products of one particular electronics giant at home; we are planning to replace all of them sooner or later because their customer care is lousy. Almost everyone I know agrees that while the cars of a certain company are excellent, they wouldn't buy those cars because their service centre in Gurgaon is completely inefficient.

When companies talk about increasing sales, there are two ways they can do this, as far as my understanding is. They can either get new customers, or they can get existing customers to buy more of their products. If they want the latter to happen, their customer care needs to be, at the very least, customer friendly!

As a customer, I've seen that most companies in India either don't care about this aspect or aren't able to handle it. The company I dealt with for our desktops did excellent damage control, if not a little over the top. Whether it was because they know my firm has given them quite a bit of business in the past or whether they genuinely want to ensure that their customers are satisfied, I wouldn't know. What I do know is that I would go to them if I need more computers or laptops.

The departmental store which charged me twice and where those idiots refused to even accept that they had charged me twice? Not for a long, long time.

Jet lays off 1900... and then reinstates them

2008-10-16T14:56:00.001-04:00

So a huge topic for discussion over the last 24 hours, both at home and at the workplace, has been the layoffs of around 1900 employees of Jet Airways. The media went beserk, the blogosphere was buzzing, and Raj Thakeray, of all people, started making his wonderful pronouncements.

My thing was, yes, times are bad. Yes, layoffs are happening all around us; I know quite a few people who don't know if they'll be employed next week. But to do it in such a clinical and cold-blooded manner, and to go on the record with saying this is for the economic benefit of the company, leaves a dreadful taste in the mouth.

“As painful as it may be for every single person affected, this adjustment was inevitable in the greater interest of regaining viability of Jet Airways and to securing its economic health,” said CEO Wolfgang Prock-Schauer.

However, just minutes ago, Naresh Goyal has announced that all 1900 employees are being taken back. And the blogosphere is buzzing already.

I'm wondering why these airlines do everything at midnight. They meet to discuss alliances late at night, they announce reinstatements at midnight... it's like they're trying to ensure they miss the next day's nespapers and that people forget about it by the day after that. In this country? With the news channels we have? Not happening.

Ok, so that's the first post for this blog, and it's not the one I planned. Neither is it exactly on the job. But it's rambling. So we got one thing right.