Ramblings of One Weary Soldier

To Salute or Not? When is it appropriate for Veterans to render a salute

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 04 Nov 2013 18:34:00 +0000

In response to a discussion on Facebook, below is a link to an article discussing when it's appropriate for Veterans to render the Salute when not in uniform. Some of the major Veteran Organizations don't like this regulation. They think it sets a wrong precedent to children and adult civilians. They believe it encourages the wrong type of people to salute. I say it gives us a perfect opportunity to educate the public.

What do YOU think?

Until the next time, my friends.....

http://www.defense.gov/news/newsarticle.aspx?id=51859

Rape Culture and the Drunken Whore Fallacy by Jen McClendon

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 01 Oct 2013 13:00:00 +0000

Another great post, written by Staff Blogger, Jen McClendon. All thoughts, ideas, words, opinions are those of Jen and do not necessarily reflect those of the One Weary Soldier.

Rape Culture and the Drunken Whore Fallacy

Jen McClendon

Introduction:

I will be writing a series of articles that address one or more of the components of rape and abuse culture. In this article I will address the issue of alcohol. The alcohol fallacy is nicely expressed here in a Washington Post Op Ed. http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/alcohol-abuse-is-fueling-military-sexual-assault/2013/06/13/da2f5ada-d37c-11e2-a73e-826d299ff459_story.html

Rape culture is a term that is thrown around often enough that most of us think that we know what it is. What is rape culture? Does “Rape culture” promote rape or merely condone it? What is the source of rape culture? How do we learn not to promote rape? I will take several months to effectively and holistically address a global Meta CBT about rape and violence. We need to go here if our daughters and sons are to live more safely than we did.

We start learning not to promote rape with a broad but inclusive definition of rape culture. We offer examples of rape culture and then we make proposals for sustainable change. In other words, we have to think about what we think about rape. Then we have to challenge those thinking patterns on a macro level. Think of this as Meta CBT or Meta Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Think, identify, challenge, and actively change. Then sustain that change with practice.

Let us distill this through the alcohol fallacy. If we can blame alcohol for rape than we do not have to blame rapists. If we continue to blame alcohol for rape than military commands, police divisions, businesses, churches, fraternities, parents, and college campuses do not have to address the problem of rape culture. This social problem should be called what it is and that is letting everyone off the hook but the victim.

Prima Fascia the alcohol fallacy is a seemingly plausible explanation but it falls short of being a comprehensive approach. I would ask whether rape statistics receded during prohibition but rape data was not systemically collected and people drank during prohibition. The global “We” have a long way to go and much learning ahead of us on this matter.

We call arguments like the alcohol fallacy half-truths in logic and debate. Alcohol is often present and a person that is drinking is less capable to defend himself or herself against the rapist. In all cases the absence of a rapist leads to the absence of a rape. The absence of alcohol and the presence of a rapist do not guarantee that a rape will be avoided. Nevertheless, many commentators on rape place an absurd emphasis on alcohol, which deflects blame from the attacker. See the June 13^th 2013 Op Ed in the Washington Post by Lt. Colonel Elizabeth Robins. Thank you for your service Colonel Robins.

Here is a chart

Alcohol + rapist =probable rape

No alcohol + rapist = possible rape

Alcohol + no rapist = No rape

Alcohol is not the common denominator here.

There is an active tendency to allow more bad behavior from men than women. This is the boys will be boys fallacy. We have all heard that boys will be boys. Men are allowed to get drunk and go brawling. If a man commits an act of rape while he is drinking many people think of that man as a victim of his own drinking. Many people describe drunken rape in terms of “Accidental rape”. Perhaps he would not have raped someone if he were not drunk. We would not let a drunk driver off this easily.

If a woman is drunk while being relentlessly violated then she should have been more responsible and she should not have been drunk enough to “Get herself raped.” We want women to be responsible and proper while men do as they wish. Just to recap, a man is not at fault if he is drunk and commits rape but if a woman is drunk then she failed to keep herself safe. A significant degree of cognitive dissonance is necessary to cling to this double standard.

What rape survivors call the “Drunken whore fallacy” is alive and well in discourse on rape. This is not different than the Saudi woman that was sentenced to 200 lashes for being raped. The only component that is absent is the post assault physical abuse. The post assault psychological abuse is part of the main course in the treatment of the American rape victim. The case against the midshipman that was raped at the United States Naval Academy illuminates this double standard. A rape victim is being punished in order to exonerate her attackers.

The case should be against her attackers but whether or not she was drunk has taken center stage. There is a very well written article in the September 7, 2013 Washington Post local blog about the Naval Academy trial and what it tells us about culture at America’s Naval Academy.

http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2013-09-07/local/41851297_1_midshipmen-binge-drinking-midshipman

Would what is happening to this Naval Midshipman be acceptable if this were your daughter? Our current approach will not suffice for my children. I will not subject another person’s child to something that I will shield my own children from experiencing. We have to do this Meta CBT.

Inequality is the foundational philosophy of rape culture. Red herrings and the half-truths that we tell ourselves lay at the heart of rape culture. Holistic and comprehensive facts lay the foundation for solving this problem. The whole population needs to think about what we think and determine whether our opinions about rape are exportable to other situations. We need to ask if we would participate in the excuses that promote rape today if they were used by parents that rape their children. What if the child was taking cold medicine? If a drunk woman is walking home and a drunk man is driving home and the drunk man hits the drunk woman with his car, is she guilty of getting herself struck?

What do we think about what we think?

This is the first in a long series of articles that will attack the fallacies that promote rape culture. If we are to undermine rape culture then we have to talk about everything that it is and not just throw around the term.

Beat that Bitch by Patricia Stotter

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 03 Sep 2013 04:02:00 +0000

Response to Colonel Elizabeth Robbins’ Poor Explanation of the Military Rape Problem

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:59:00 +0000

The following is a post by Staff Blogger, Jen McClendon. This is her response to an article written by Lieutenant Colonel Elizabeth Robbins posted 13 June 2013 in The Washington Post. Jen's rebuttal was refused by The Post. I'm happy to publish it here. As always, Jen's opinions are her own and don't necessarily reflect those of the One Weary Soldier... but in this case.... yes, they do. Drive on, Jen. I love you, Sister. You rock!

****************************************
The best way to avoid correcting the military rape problem is to call rape in the ranks anything other than a byproduct of privilege and rape culture. Red herrings, straw men, and flack screens have been protecting rape culture from public scrutiny for generations. The next best thing to directly blaming the victim is indirectly blaming the victim.

Several women and men in uniform think that rape will never happen to them because they are stronger, smarter, or somehow more cautious than the women and men that are raped. If a victim is strong than they must not have been raped. If the victim is weak than are they guilty of failing to avoid rape.

If there are only two avenues home and a rapist awaits a soldier on both avenues home and the soldier is raped while taking avenue A than there is no way of knowing whether they were also doomed if they had taken avenue B. When we point the finger at the soldier that took avenue A home and was raped we chip away at the guilt of rapist C by presuming that avenue B was safe.

Statistically the odds of never being raped are better than the odds of being raped. If a Lieutenant Colonel has not been raped this is a good thing. The question is whether their caution or their strength protected them. Could luck be a component?

There are several fallacies at play in victim blaming. One fallacy is that strong women and strong men are not raped. We may call this the fallacy of “I’m too tough to be raped.” The cause of rape is not being attributed to the presence of a rapist. We ignore rank, fatigue, firearms, and other weapons that have nothing to do with alcohol when we assert a strength fallacy.

The “Strong Woman” fallacy is dangerous. If you are strong and you are raped that strength might be a liability in prosecuting the offender. The general public knows about gang rape. Does the military brass?

We teach Rape evasion the same way that we teach influenza evasion. If we do not wash our hands of the flu virus and our bodies do not fight off the invasion then we are likely to get the flu. In rape training we all but ignore washing the rapist down the sink with the flu virus.

Rape survivors along with the parents and loved ones of those people that were lost to rape and murder or rape and suicide understand the complexities of getting a conviction. We are not stupid and we are not crazy. What we do not understand is why we are not attacking rape culture head on. We waste time when we hold the victim more accountable than the rapist?

Lieutenant Colonel Elizabeth Robbins describes herself as strong, physically fit, and presumably safe from rape. I am pretty tough too. I was an E4 and a teetotaler both times that I was raped. Are we going to address inequality or blame alcohol? What about the "RHIP" (Rank Has It’s Privileges) song? I won a base triathlon between my two rapes. Both rapists had rank and gender privilege and both times that trumped my strength.

Today, nobody holds rank over me and I have not been raped. I am physically fit and I feel that if I defend myself I will not be charged with a crime. Rank is the most toxic weapon in military sexual violence. Rank overpowers strength and caution.

If we follow the colonel’s logic than those men and women that were raped on active duty merely failed to keep themselves safe. Perhaps they should have known better. Implicit in the writing of Colonel Robbins is that many of the people that were raped in the military were guilty of poor judgment. I encourage the colonel to revisit that opinion.

Implicit in the public discourse on rape is the language of victim blaming. Air Force General Mark Welsch, asked why junior personnel did not “Turn to their chain of command on the worst day of their lives.” This is why!

Some women and men were raped in their barracks rooms. Several women and men – to include this very strong woman - were raped while on watches in isolated ship spaces and while completely sober. When you are low in rank following orders in the workplace lest you face conjured charges of imagined crimes then might have trouble making the “Right choices” in the context of rape prevention.

We have to address power as a problem or we will drop another ball on this matter. We need to talk about the RHIP song. Rank is the most potent rape drug.

How Dare You Call Us MST Media Whores

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 17 May 2013 03:02:00 +0000

How dare you! How dare you call us "Media Whore"!!! Who the hell do you think you are? What gives you the right to put that label on us? Haven't we been abused enough by our assailants? Haven't we been attacked enough by other Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines and Coasties? I know I was.

I made a career out of the Army. I am proud to say that I am a card carrying Retiree. During my career I was called every filthy name in the book. I was told early in my career that I had no business in the Army; that I belonged "at home, barefoot and pregnant". I was told that by NCO's and Officers in my chain of command. I was called "bitch, dyke, whore". I was accused of "husband hunting" during that first tour overseas though I dated the same Soldier almost the entire time I was there (RIP SFC Anthony John Scheehl).

My virginity was TAKEN from me by my Platoon Sergeant. I was barely 18 years old. He took me to my Squad Leaders apartment, got me drunk and took me. I remember the stink of his breath on me. It smelled like vomit though I don't remember the act itself. I remember after sitting in a boiling hot tub feeling very dirty. He stuck his head in the bathroom to ask if I was okay. I was an E2 and he was an E7. It happened just that once. I think. It's the only time I recall. So far. I've just started to have flashbacks about him. If there were other incidents I'm sure there will be other flashbacks to follow.

I write about things that happened to me. I write about things that are helpful, in my opinion, to Veterans. I publish links to my blog everywhere I can think of. I ask my friends to post links to my blog. If that makes me a "Media Whore" than so be it. I've been called worse names by worse people. But here is the thing. Have the fucking guts to say it to my face. And then tell me what you are doing to further the FIGHT! Are you jealous of me? Are you jealous of the others who are out there fighting this MST CAUSE? What the fuck is your problem?

WHO THE HELL WANTS TO BE FAMOUS or INFAMOUS FOR BEING RAPED???? Do you realize how much COURAGE it takes to stand in front of the cameras and speak out about this? Can you do it? I can't. I know I can't. That's why I write about it. I have so much respect for my brothers and sisters who get out there in front of the public. I would name them personally but this blog would never end if I were to list them all. They know who they are and they have my respect and my love and loyalty.

So, yeah, if writing about Military Sexual Trauma makes me a MEDIA WHORE than I guess that's what I am. At least I'm speaking out. I'm telling my story. I try to help other victims become survivors and I am proud of that. I don't attack other advocates. I work with them and support them and I will mentor anyone who asks me to. I teach others how to file claims the Susan Avila-Smith and Jim Strickland way. I listen. I lend a shoulder. I do what is necessary. And yes, I am often very triggered by the things that I do. Most of us are. Does that stop us? FUCK NO.

People in glass houses, my friends.....

Until the next time.....

Service: When Women Come Marching Home

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 17:52:00 +0000

Service: When Women Come Marching Home

A Must See Not-A-Chic-Flic Movie

This is a tough post to write. I'm not really sure where to begin. Service: When Women Come Marching Home is without doubt the best documentary you have not yet seen. I've said that before and I will keep saying it until you post a comment here telling me you have viewed it.

Service focuses on eight women Veterans with life altering, service-connected disabilities. Their disabilities range from Military Sexual Trauma (MST) to radical amputation to homelessness. Every Veteran tells her own story. In the words of co-producer Patricia Stotter, "there are no voice overs".

I can now reveal that I have been involved with this project almost since the very beginning when I was asked permission to have my blog used as a resource in Service. How could I say no? I was honored and flattered. I have watched as this has moved from an idea to a full blown, feature Documentary. I was able to screen Service in its' most raw form while it was being developed. I watched it grow from an idea to what you are now seeing at screenings and on your local PBS Stations.

Something to keep in mind as you prepare to view this film. It may trigger you if you have PTSD. Several of the 8 women in Service were raped. Some are combat Veterans with serious combat injuries. Homelessness is covered and discussed. No stone is left unturned and you hear the horrible truth from each of these brave Veterans.

I have had the pleasure of friending some of the Veterans in Service; BriGette and Layla. Late at night when she and I can't sleep, you can often find Layla and I chatting privately on Facebook. Patricia Stotter has also become a close friend and confidante. We give each other support. As Survivors, we need that. Support. And that, in a nutshell, is what Service means to me. SUPPORT.

I would be remiss if I didn't thank Patricia Stotter and Marcia Rock for coming up with the idea for this outstanding documentary. For almost three years (?) they have put their heart, soul and blood into this project and there is no end in sight. They are now criss-crossing the Country doing screenings in a city or town near you (if you are lucky!).

I would also like to thank the DAV for sponsoring Service. Without their help, this important documentary would not be in the position it's in now this soon.

To all the Veterans and their families who are in Service, I salute you. You all have my undying respect and love. Thank you so much for having the courage to come forward and tell your stories. People need to hear them; they need to see the truth. Others need to know what is available and Service educates.

For more information about Service; When Women Come Marching Home, please go to their website. There you can "meet" the Veterans in the film. You will also find the television schedule for your home town. You don't want to miss it when it's on. If you don't see your city listed, call your local PBS station and DEMAND they show it!!!

After you have seen Service, would you mind coming back here to comment? I would love to know what you think of this heart-tugging documentary. It's very important to me and not just because my blog is in it. I've already had my 15 minutes of fame and glory. That happened long ago. I just want to hear how you were touched by this documentary.

Thanks, my friends. Until the next time.....

Revisiting Katie Patterson -MST Survivor

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 02:11:00 +0000

It's becoming a more familiar topic in the public media. Military Sexual Trauma. MST. Mr and Mrs John Q. Public are starting to understand this is a real problem in the military today. TODAY. TODAY? I've got news, my friends. This is not a NEW issue. This did not just start happening during the OIF/OEF and Afghanistan Wars. The problem extends much farther back than that. If you are a fan or regular reader of this blog you know that by now. If you are John Q. Public, you probably think this just started within the last decade or so. WRONG ANSWER.

I have a friend, Army Veteran Katie Patterson, whom I have blogged about before. Katie was brutally raped in April 2005 while recovering from surgery in a military hospital. She couldn't cope with the aftermath of the attack. She reported it to her Commander who refused to believe that it happened. With no one to back her, believe her or show any support to this 20 year old soldier, she was placed on an inpatient psychiatric ward. Accused of "acting out" she was wrongly diagnosed with a personality disorder as opposed to a soldier suffering from PTSD due to military sexual trauma. Five months later she was discharged from the Army; with personality disorder stamped on her DD 214.


Katie and her proud mother

Katie recently sent me a link to her former Commander. I was sickened at what I read. Her former Commander, a woman by the way, who refused to believe Katie had been sexually assaulted by another SOLDIER, is now holding a very critical position in the Army. Get this. She is a "Sexual Harassment / Assault Response and Prevention (SHARP)" Officer. How do you go from not believing one of your soldiers to being in that kind of a position? Are you kidding me? Katie found her former Commander on a social media sight though I won't tell you which one. She sent her Commander a "friend request" and it was approved. I had to talk Katie down when she saw the position her former Commander is currently filling. I don't blame Katie. I'd be angry, too. That's the same woman who discharged Katie from the Army. That's the very same woman who refused to believe that Katie had suffered a brutal and dehumanizing rape; even with the evidence right in front of her face.

Today, Katie received a note from her former Commander. I'll let you decide for yourself how ironic the message is. Remember, this comes from the woman who signed Katie's discharge papers. This comes from the woman who refused to believe that Katie was raped. This woman called Katie a liar, accused her of malingering and told her she was acting out. This woman kicked Katie out of the Army.

"Katie,

Were you in my company? Either way, glad to see 92Ms out in the world doing great things. I am assuming you know my passion for the Mortuary Affairs field, since you requested my connection.

Respectfully,"

What do you make of that, my friends? Sure, it's been a long time. Still, I would take that as a slap in the face. She ruined the life of a good soldier. She allowed Katie's assailant to walk away free and clear. She kicked Katie out of the Army and has no recall of doing so. Katie is angry and I don't blame her. How would you feel?

I first blogged about Katie in January 2011. I've gotten to know her very well since then. I've assisted her with claims; watched as she has gone through surgery after surgery; spent hours on the phone with her; and we chat regularly via Facebook. Her strength overwhelms me. She never gives up. No matter what obstacles get in her way, she charges right through them. Nothing, absolutely nothing stops this amazing woman. If she wants something you better believe she will fight for it. Katie eventually gets whatever the hell she is going after. I am honored to know her, have her in my life, call her my friend and my little sister.


Just one of the many procedures Katie has had to endure

What happened to Katie is not a singular event. There are thousands upon thousands of MST survivors out there, both male and female. To listen to the military and the media tell it, you'd think this is a new and recent epidemic. Bullshit. I'm here to tell you this is nothing new. It's been going on for decades. Probably centuries but I can't prove that. I know from my own recall of memories that it's been going on since at least the late 70's. I know from speaking with Veterans older than myself that it was going on way before I enlisted in 1976.

A few stories I haven't told:

1. Sitting in the barracks at Fort Jackson on a Saturday night, December 1976, a young private came running into our barracks, beaten and bloody, clothes shredded, screaming she had been raped. I never saw her again.

2. Hearing one of my friends screaming "rape!" in the barracks in Germany, 1978. Her room next to mine. Several us of ran to her room and literally tore her door off the hinges to help her. We beat that man bloody.

3. Being locked in an office during "Alerts" in Germany with the other eight women in my platoon for "my own protection" at night. That's right. Our command knew that the men in my platoon were a threat to us. When we were on alert "lock down" took on a whole new meaning for women soldiers.

4. One of my squad leaders coming on to me so hard that I faked an asthma attack to get away from him. I've never had a breathing problem in my life but he believed me and left me alone.

5. I had an affair with my platoon sergeant my first tour in Germany. I was a Private E2. I didn't know how to say no to him. He was an E7 and married. How do you say no to an E7 when you are a Private, just coming out of AIT? He's your boss. You do as you're told or you pay the consequences. That was a pattern I followed for a long time in my career. I'm very ashamed to admit that. It haunts me to this day.

6. As an E6, Staff Sergeant, I had a Private who worked for me. A really nice kid. I found out she was having an affair with my XO. I did my best to put a stop to it but it didn't work. The Company Commander knew about it. He thought it was cool that the XO was putting it to this young soldier. (His words, not mine.) When the shit hit the fan, there was an Article 15-6 Investigation. I was called in to testify. I gave my statement and revealed that the Commander knew about the affair all along and covered it up. Needless to say, the Commander was furious with me. He told my 1SG, "Get that bitch out of my PAC before I kill her."

I was moved to a different section and lost a position I loved. The XO was a promotable lieutenant and was removed from the Captain's list. The Commander was forced to resign his commission. But what about the Private? Her name was Barb. That's all I remember about her. Her life was trashed. She was a young, innocent, naive Private. I'll bet she suffers from MST from that incident. He was her first. What a horrible experience that had to have been for her. He broke her heart. If you're reading this, Barb, please contact me.

There are more stories I could tell you about my own career. Some more painful than the others. But what point would that prove? This is about Katie Patterson and how unjust and ironic it is that her former Company Commander is now a SHARP Officer. The thought sickens me and I can't even begin to fathom how Katie really feels about it. To receive that note from her former Commander had to have been the biggest slap in the face of all. That's what "they" meant when the phrase "adding insult to injury" was coined. Yes, I talked Katie out of responding negatively to it, but would I have listened to my own advice? I wonder. Would I have shown as much restraint as Katie did? If you've read this blog long enough you know that I'm a hot head and sometimes my temper gets the best of me. In fact, it is all I can do not to blast the name of Katie's former Commander all over this blog post for the world to see.

As a community, what is our responsibility here? Do we single out rotten Commanders like the one who wrongly discharged Katie? Do we start a Facebook page, "Deadbeat Commanders" similar to the "Deadbeat Dads" pages that are so popular? HOW DO WE STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING TO OTHER SERVICE MEMBERS IN THE FUTURE? WHAT IS THE SOLUTION? How do we stop those Commanders who continue to ignore the rapes going on right under their noses? Katie had a police report for cryin' out loud and they still accused her of "acting out". Katie had the evidence in hand and her Commander STILL refused to believe what was put in front of her. What the hell is wrong with people? Where is the fucking justice?

There is a phenomenal documentary coming out on PBS very soon. It's already been shown in many VA Hospitals around the Country. Ask, no, DEMAND, that your Women Veterans Program Manager acquire a copy for your Veterans Hospital and have it shown there. Everyone needs to see this film produced by Marcia Rock and Emmy Award winner Patricia Stotter entitled "Service: When Women Come Marching Home". Some of my dearest friends share their painful stories in "Service". You don't want to miss it. I've seen it. I can't say enough good things about it. Another outstanding documentary you may have seen is the Oscar nominated "Invisible War". Admittedly, I have only seen bits and pieces of "Invisible War". It was way too triggering for me. Many of my friends are in that documentary as well. If you want to see the honest, by G-d truth of what is happening to our women and men in the military, watch these two documentaries. They will teach you a valuable and brutal lesson. Military Sexual Trauma is not a new epidemic. It's been going on for ages and the military doesn't give two shits. That's what these two documentaries will teach you.

There is no easy way to close this post, my friends. If you know my friend Katie, say hello to her on Facebook. Tell her how much you admire and support her. She can use your encouragement right now as she is recovering from yet another major surgery. Any MST survivor can use your support; keep that in mind. If you want to know more about Katie's story, purchase the book she wrote. It's entitled "My Invisible Injury: Living Life with a Traumatic Brain Injury." It's a brilliant book written from the heart. Her life has changed tremendously since she published her story. Personally, I'm hoping for an update. You won't believe the challenges she has faced since her book was published.

Until the next time my friends.....

PTSD Award Approved!! Hooray!!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 18:56:00 +0000

Hello old friends. I hope you haven't deserted me. It has been ages since I've written anything. My only excuse is that my life has undergone some major changes and my world has been topsy turvy for several months now. Things are slowly getting back to whatever will be normal for me. I hope that means a return to regular posting for you, my friends and faithful followers. Please come back from wherever you have been.

If you follow me on Facebook you know what changes have gone on in my life. I won't spell them out for you here. I'm not going to replay all that drama. It's just not worth it. Suffice it to say, my life has moved forward and I am much happier for the change. My younger sister is now living with me. We have not lived together since that day, October 5, 1976, when I left for Basic Training. I was 17 and she was 14. We are now 54 and 51. It's actually been less of an adjustment for either of us than we figured it would be. We are shocked almost every day when we discover all the little things we do that are just alike. Silly things from the way we pair socks and fold underwear to larger things like how we clean, do laundry and even sleep at night. It's uncanny. We love living together. She brings me peace. I hope I do the same for my sister.

The big news that I have to share with you is that after two and one-half years of waiting, my PTSD Claim (for Military Sexual Trauma aka MST) has finally been settled and approved. I followed my own advice, my friends. I filed for it in June 2010. I prepared my own claim using the guidelines set forth by two greats; Jim Strickland and Susan Avila-Smith. Those two know their stuff. I sent my claim via "certified mail" with a "return receipt requested". I kept copies of everything. I did not call to inquire about the status of my claim. I did not give anyone my power of attorney. I did not submit any IRIS inquiries. I sent in every bit of evidence that I had. I kept all my appointments and I continued on in therapy. I did not call the Regional Office to bitch and/or complain about how long my claim was taking. I did not contact to my Congress Critter. I stayed at home, took my meds, responded PROMPTLY to the paperwork sent to me by the VARO like a good little Veteran. And then I waited some more.

Finally, two and one-half years later my patience was rewarded. I was awarded 70% service connection for PTSD due to Military Sexual Trauma. My overall rating was increased to 90%. I am already 100% due to Individual Unemployability (IU) and that award is, and remains, Permanent and Total (P&T). The effective date of the PTSD award was backdated to June 2010; the date I filed my claim.

I know some of you are thinking, "Wow, that's some backpay." Not really. They did "readjust" my service connection. I had been 30% service connected for major depressive disorder as a secondary condition to all my other service connected conditions. They got rid of that and awarded PTSD as a primary condition. However, I've been at 100% IU P&T since October 2008 so there won't be any backpay. That's fine with me. I didn't file for the money.

Why did I file if not for the money, you ask? I filed for the validation. That was the reason. Plain and simple. I wanted someone in the Government to look at the evidence I had; not just "look" at it, but really EVALUATE it and say, "Yes, this Soldier was sexually assaulted. She didn't make this shit up." And though the decision letter reads "benefit of the doubt", that works for me. I'll take that as proof they believe me.

What next? Nothing. I am done filing claims. I am 100% IU P&T. That covers everything. Medical, dental, spousal benefits (if I were straight, that is), educational bennies for my kids and so much more. I'm still fighting for my spousal benefits since it seems that even though we are separated, it's damn near impossible for Gay and Lesbian couples to Divorce. Funny, we can marry but they won't divorce us in "their" courts. But that's another blog for another day. But what the hell, as long as I am stuck married to her, I will fight for benefits for her. She deserves that for putting up with me and my PTSD for as long as she did.

There are so many people to thank for their roles in helping me through this horrendous wait and period in my life; Jim Strickland, my friend and mentor. I love you, Brother. Susan Avila-Smith for your awesome guide available to anyone willing to look it up - it's also posted here in this blog roll. My wife for putting up with me all those years; I wish you well and I will keep fighting for bennies for you just as I promised. Like I said, I feel like I owe you at least that much. My VA doctors who have taken such great care of me. Sure, you run into a bad seed every now and then, but I've had some of the best there are. Dr Miller at the Brooksville, FL CBOC, Dr Dana Glenn at James A Haley VA Medical Center, my current therapists, Kristen Lahey, & Dr Beckner, at the Houston VA Hospital. I would be remiss if I didn't thank my many friends who have helped pick me up when the going got rough. Donna Smith, you have been there for me since the very beginning. You gave me the courage to file my claim. I love you, Sis. The "Oy Vey" Women. They know who they are. I can't wait for our Retreat. I hope we can make that happen this year at "The Manor". To my good friends Chris and Marion (& Chris' 'rents) who took care of my new home in Houston until I could move here from Florida. You are amazingly good friends. I love you so much. Deena and family -- for storing my pop-up and just being there with hugs...love you! Di Manning for your ever-loving kindness, friendship and constant support and giving me a "new nephew". What would I ever do without you? You're a strong woman and I am so glad we met. To my own family; thank you for not doubting me when I finally broke down and told you what happened to me. I needed you to believe me and you did. Lauri, my dear little sister... you have given me back some of my strength. That was something I thought was long gone. You taught me that I really can stand up for myself if I just dig deep enough to find that "younger Wendi who was within". She wasn't dead she was just "aseepin". You managed to stoke the fires to wake her. That was when my life started to changed for the better.

There are many others I know I should be giving love and thanks to. I just can't pull their names out of my rattled brain right now. OH!!! Kathy, Terry Two and Roy!! Three of my closest friends in Hanau! Mickey B & the Bloody Buddies!!! How could I forget to name you? Bless you all. You were instrumental in me getting through that first tour in Germany. I would honestly be dead were it not for your love, friendship and strength. Jody and Chris-Chris (wherever you are Chrissy) I love and miss you both. Polly, my friend. You kept so many of my secrets. Nina, Nelda, Jami, Pip and the rest of my "Buckhorn" Family. The Browns; my Peoria Family. The Garcias; my Albuquerque Family. The Almond/Piessens/Arnold Family Clan. You were my family when I needed you. I am forever grateful to you. You unselfishly shared your parents with me when I needed parenting. You let me into your family and gave me guidance and a home when I needed direction. You will all, always, be in my heart. My children. All of them and that includes all my "adopted nieces and nephews". I love you so much. So many others... and the one who is gone... My soulmate, my best friend, my "Sister" Sandy, the keeper of my letters and my memory... Sandy preserved my memory in writing. She saved every letter I wrote to her from the day I left for Basic Training until her death in May '93. I miss you, Sandy. I hope you are proud of the MST work I am doing now.

Forgive me, the rest of you, whose names I have left out. I promise you it is not intentional. So many people have touched my life in many different ways over the last 30+ years. Each of you has left a lasting impression in my life and on my heart. You've all been there for me and I can never repay you. Just know that I am here for you. Always.

What do I do now? Nothing. I'm finished. I use the benefits I have. If something else crops up I don't see any reason to attempt to service connect them because I'm at 100% already. Anytime you apply for another service connection you take a chance at losing what you already have. I know this for fact. Yes, I gained 70% for PTSD-MST. I also LOST 30% for my right shoulder. It's been service connected since 1995. I damn near had reached that magical 20 year mark. I haven't spoken to my Attorney yet to see if he wants to appeal that. I'm reluctant to do so (submit an appeal or a DRO Review or anything of the like) because I don't want to chance losing my P&T status. Remember Friends, just because it's P&T, doesn't mean they can't look at you again. It's a chance you take when you submit a new claim. BEWARE. Consequences have actions and reactions. Don't push your luck. You will only screw yourself over if you try to out-think the VA.

And that my friends is all I have for you today. I will try to come back soon. I'd like to get in a pattern of writing again. Do you have a topic you'd like me to cover? Drop me a note. I'd love to hear from you.

Until the next time.....

Women in Combat: Policy and Reality Don't Match

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 14 Jul 2012 20:01:00 +0000

Women in Combat: Policy and Reality Don’t Match

Guest Post to One Weary Soldier By Francesca Acocella and Ariela Migdal, ACLU Women’s Rights Project

Servicewomen are currently flying helicopters, blowing up landmines, and serving on combat footpatrols. Yet official policy still purports to ban commanders from assigning servicewomen to serve in ground combat units.

Recent changes to the combat exclusion policy open up opportunities for women and recognize that many women have already been exposed to combat – and even lost their lives – in Iraq and Afghanistan. Yet women are still officially barred from being assigned to ground combat units in most situations. Talented servicewomen who joined the Armed Services to contribute to our nation end up leaving because the policy prevents them from making the full contribution they are capable of making. For decades, the American Civil Liberties Union Women’s Rights Project has worked with servicewomen to expand their opportunities for service, arguing that women’s exclusion from combat arms units is based on antiquated stereotypes about women and about war. Now, we're interested in talking with servicewomen who have been in combat, or who would like to serve in a combat arms unit or attend a combat arms school or training program. Please share your story with us.

The women defending our freedom deserve more than recognition for their contributions - they deserve the same career opportunities as servicemen. If you are a servicewoman who has been exposed to combat or wants to serve in a combat arms unit or attend a combat arms school or training program, please tell us your story. We look forward to hearing from you!

To get in touch with the ACLU Women’s Rights Project to share your story, please call 212-519-7858. All information will be treated as confidential. This is not a solicitation or an offer by the ACLU to represent you. We cannot promise that any information you provide will lead to any specific action on our part.

***Please note that this is a guest post to One Weary Soldier. Do not contact me directly about this story. I have no information for you. Please see the above paragraph for contact information. Thank you.

MST Vets Finally Getting a Say So by Jenny McClendon

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 16:58:00 +0000

The following post was written by friend and staff blogger of the "One Weary Soldier", Jenny McClendon. All opinions expressed are her own.

Veterans that have experienced Military Sexual Trauma are finally getting our say. We were raped. It was not our fault. We did our jobs and other people did not do their jobs. Unfortunately people that did not do their jobs are still collecting paychecks. I am talking about military and Department of Veteran’s Affairs Doctors.

Aware and literate Americans have been reading and hearing about the problem of the Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) diagnosis for several months. This is the diagnosis that is often given to both male and female members of the military that report rape and are sent for psychiatric evaluations by commanders that wish to dispose of their most recent rape victim.

The National Institute of Mental Health quotes the Diagnostic and StatisticalManual, Fourth Edition, Text Revision (DSM IV TR) in defining BPD this way:

There are nine criteria for BPD and in order to be correctly diagnosed with BPD you have to have enduring and pervasive patterns that include five of the nine criteria:

• Extreme reactions—including panic, depression, rage, or frantic actions—to abandonment, whether real or perceived.

• A pattern of intense and stormy relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often veering from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation).

• Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future (such as school or career choices).

• Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating.

• Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting.

• Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days.

• Chronic feelings of emptiness and/or boredom.

• Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger.

• Having stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality.

NOTE: The National Institute of Mental Health states that 1.6 percent of the population has Borderline Personality in any given year. The National Institute of Mental Health might have to omit numbers from the Department of Veteran’s Affairs to keep this number from skyrocketing.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder/what-are-the-symptoms-of-borderline-personality-disorder.shtml

These patterns need to be “Enduring” so if a doctor that has known you for less than one year diagnoses you as “Borderline,” this diagnosis might be an act of malpractice. That malpractice will hurt you so please take action. File a complaint at the very least.

These “Enduring patterns” cannot overlap so if you have a substance abuse problem that cannot be used twice to cover self-destructive behavior and substance abuse. Any other issues like depression or PTSD cannot explain these “Enduring patterns”. If you meet the five out of nine criteria but you are suffering from acute PTSD and most of the symptoms pass then you do not have BPD. 

 Within the field of psychology there are a number of professionals that think that this diagnosis is a stretch of the imagination. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) authors finally stopped calling homosexuality a mental disorder in 1973 and shortly after that, Borderline Personality Disorder made it into the DSM.

Psychologists and psychiatrists at the Department of Veterans Affairs give this diagnosis out when they do not want to treat clients with pervasive Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

What is shocking is that Trauma Therapists give this diagnosis out and dismiss veterans from Trauma Services Departments for having been traumatized too many times.

What the tax payers may want to know is that a veteran that suited up and showed up to serve their country and was raped by another member of the military. The rape is never enough.

That patriotic American that suited up and showed up to do their part for their country will be psychiatrically abused by a military doctor that often gives them a debilitating diagnosis often after a single evaluation.

That service member will probably lose their job because they were raped. Then that service member has to fight joblessness, homelessness, and lost custody of their children because they were expendable to their commanders after being raped. This makes patriotism punishable by homelessness. This is not a proper reward for service.

By Congressional mandate the Department of Veteran’s Affairs is supposed to treat Military Sexual Trauma upon request. A “Borderline Personality Disorder” diagnosis is the loophole that the Department of Veteran’s Affairs uses to dismiss veterans from treatment with the same level of agony and shame that this veteran was thrown out of the military with. The rape was never enough.

The psychologist that threw your veteran away is paid more than the veteran made in service. That psychologist will receive a government pension that you contribute to. That VA psychologist uses plenty of your tax contribution to go to conferences and to training that will pad their retirement resume. This safe and cushy federal job is not a proper reward for having thrown your veteran away.

--
Professor Jenny McClendon

Humanities, ethics, and logic professor,
Online and traditional formats,

Historical writer,
Social Scientist,
Social Issues Writer
Old Testament Historian,
Ethicist...

Personal/professional email:
professor.mcclendon@gmail.com

A Memorial Day Tribute To Those Who Have Touched My Life

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 28 May 2012 22:44:00 +0000

It seems appropriate, yet heartbreaking, that I sit down to write this post on today of all days. Memorial Day. It's a day of tribute to those comrades who lost their lives before us. Those who led the way for Veterans like me. Thank you. Thank you to them, to their families and to all those who supported them.

That's what I'm here to write about today. The people who touch our lives. The ones you don't hear about. The others who sit silently in the background and don't get the recognition they so rightly deserve. Yet they are there for us each and every day of our lives. You know them. You know who they are. They are the person behind the counter at the gas station who sells you that cup of morning coffee. He or she smiles at you each day. What would you do without that familiar face? They are the neighbor who mows your grass when they know you are away. They are the kids you pay to clean your house because you're too tired to do so. These people aren't just neighbors, service people, strangers you see everyday. They become friends; family you come to know and trust and love.

I have been blessed in my life to have met and added many such people to my extended family. In Missouri, outside of Fort Leonard Wood, I lived in the little town of Buckhorn. Back then the population was 714. That included my roommate, Polly and I. Polly and I were both E4's and struggling to live off post without the benefit of what is now called BAS. Next door to us lived a single mother with three children. On the other side of the neighbors were two other single soldiers. Further down was a married couple with two toddlers. To say we were all dirt poor was an understatement. We became family. Every Sunday we would pool our resources and get together for "Sunday Dinner". Those of us who didn't cook (me) were resigned to clean-up and dish duty after the meal was over. Over those dinners we talked, laughed, cried, shared; everything a family does. To this day, I am still in touch with the family that lived immediately next to us. I have watched the children grow up, marry, and have children of their own. Now come the grandchildren. When did I get so old? I was 20 years old when I arrived at Fort Leonard Wood. Today I am 53. We still laugh and share our pain. This family, the mother, I watched her struggle to raise her family as best she could. She couldn't afford a telephone of her own. Polly and I drilled a hole in the wall between my bedroom and their kitchen wall. We then ran a telephone line into their kitchen so they would have a phone at all times. That's what you do for family. You share and you take care. Were they military? No. The oldest daughter did marry a man who enlisted and went on to serve this Country. Today I salute not only him, but this family who was there for me back when I was a young soldier. Poor, needy, homesick. They became my family. As poor as they were, they were there for me. I salute them. I remember them and honor them today.

In 1988 I was selected for Recruiting Duty. Those of you who were recruiters back in the old days know how difficult it used to be. Remember "mission boxes"? They were a horror. There was mandatory "red time" and 14 and 16 hour days. No, I'm not bullshitting you. That's how it used to be. Everything was mandatory this and mandatory that. I once was told I couldn't vote in a State Election because it wasn't written into my "planning guide". I shit you not. One threat to call to the IG and I was out the door and on my way to the polls. Yeah, I was a bitch even back then.

Recruiting wasn't all that bad. It was the BS we had to deal with that was the hard part. Working with the kids was a real joy. I admit that here and now. However, without the support of my Peoria family I never would've survived my tour of duty and that is the honest truth.

I moved into a little house on Ronald Road in Peoria and little did I know that was the best decision I ever made. The neighborhood was quiet, the street tree-lined and well kept. Very middle America. I grew up in Chicago and love the Midwest so this was to my liking. This was a family oriented neighborhood and I was happy with my little house.

I met my next door neighbors right away. Tim, the gregarious and always smiling husband. His daughters, Carrie and Katie. Julie came a little later. She was more reserved but warmed up to me with time. It didn't take long before we were all good friends, running back and forth between the two houses like there was no door between them. Carrie and Katie took care of my dogs during those long days that I worked. They loved them as much as I did. When I needed my house cleaned, I'd toss the kids a few bucks and they'd clean the house as best they could. I was happy with whatever they did.

Julie fed me most every night. I would come dragging in from work late at night and she'd have saved me a plate from dinner. She was always, always there for me. On Sundays, during football season we'd get together at their house and lay out a huge spread of junk food and eat for three solid hours while we cheered on our beloved Bears. We kept Julie's Jim McMahon doll on the table like an icon. I'll never forget the play when he was injured by Reggie White. Julie blamed me for that, ya know. I was pissed at McMahon for the previous play and I'd picked up the doll and thrown it across the room. Julie picked up Jimmy and yelled at me. I apologized profusely. The next play ... well, we've all seen that film over and over. We know what Reggie White did to Jim McMahon. That was the end of his career in my opinion. I hope Julie has finally forgiven me for that.

The night of the Annual Recruiting Conference Ball was a big deal. I pulled out my Dress Blues and don't you know it, the frigging hem was falling down on my skirt. Never fear. Julie to the rescue. She was right there for me with a needle and thread, on her hands and knees, fixing that skirt for me at the very last minute. She wasn't going to let me go out with pins in my skirt like I wanted to do. Not Julie.

When there was a family event, I was always included. That went without saying. It didn't matter if they were good times or bad. Happy or sad. I was included like family. When my own mother got sick, Julie was there for me. There were weekends during my mothers illness that I just needed to go away to rest, to cry, to vent. Julie and her family were there for me, waiting in Peoria with open arms. When Mom passed, they made the three hour drive up to Chicago for the Memorial Service. I hadn't expected them to come, but Julie wanted to be there for me. Julie to the rescue. After the service, we had a small family gathering at my brothers house. It was very intimate and only close family was invited. Of course, Julie and her family were included. My father had met them on many occasions and knew how much they meant to me. They are family.

On Sunday mornings, hungover, awakened by screaming Blue Jays, Tim and I used to sit in the back yard, his or mine, and we'd shoot bb's at those damn Blue Jays. We hated them. We only got away with it until Julie woke up and caught us. She'd come outside and yell at us to "Quit! You two!" She was always worried the neighbors would call the police on us.

Family is in the heart. We in the military add many people to our hearts. We move so much, so often; at least we did in my day, that it's difficult to plant roots. Those who touch us, those who make a difference in our lives are to be remembered. They are to be memorialized. It's not just our spouses and our blood families or the service members who paved the way who support us. It's the families or the service people or any number of friends who touch your life along the way who should also be remembered today. They are the people who sit quietly in the background and never think to ask for recognition. They are more than deserving of it. Don't you agree?

Yesterday morning, May 27, 2012, at 4:55 a.m., my friend, my sister, Julie, lost her life to cancer. This post is dedicated to Julie, her family and those who have touched my heart since I was 17 years old and joined the Army. To everyone who ever fed me when I was hungry, wiped away my tears when I was crying, listened when I needed to talk, hugged me when I needed it, gave me friendship and comfort, touched me when I needed a gentle and guiding light, gave me a couch to sleep when I was weary, loved me when I needed to be loved, took care of my pets while I worked long hours; this is for you. You know who you are and I love you all.

Memorial Day, 2012. Until the next time....

How to win a claim for PTSD due to MST

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 07 May 2012 01:48:00 +0000

The following information was originally posted by advocate Susan Avila-Smith on Facebook. With her permission is it being reposted here.

♔ TO WIN A VA CLAIM FOR MST ♔

You will need:
1. A diagnosis of PTSD, Anxiety and/or Depression, from your Provider.
2. A Nexus, or link to service, which needs to be written by your provider as a letter or in your medical chart just like this (print this out and bring it to them):
"After reviewing ___________'s medical records it is my opinion, more likely than not, her/his PTSD, Depression/Anxiety (PTSD, Anxiety/Depression - what ever it specifically is you filed for in your claim and must match exactly) is a direct result of military sexual trauma s/he experienced while serving on active duty."
3. Evidence: VA form #21=0781a. - This is used as "Alternative Evidence".
You may want to ask for help to fill out this form. Most of us cannot do this ourselves.
Fill in your name and VA File # (SS#) information on top.
The date: "On or about (VERY important here - if it was July 11th, you could lose) July 12, 1986.
***IF you cannot remember the date, narrow it down to a three month time frame - a season, holiday, or event like the Presidential Elections. (This is used to check the paperwork and nothing else. If the paperwork is not there, then likely you will not win, so the date range is crucial.)
Enter your dates of Unit Assignment.
Description of the Incident "sexual assault" or “personal assault” by a known person - STATE THEIR NAME, THEIR UNIT INFORMATION and if they were punished and how.
Examples:
“I was assaulted by John Doe, a corporal who was assigned to HOC 733rd MI Bn, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii - the same unit I was assigned to. He was not punished, but I was. I got an Article 15 during the month of July, 1986." OR
“I was assaulted at Darnell Hospital, Fort Hood Texas in the recovery room after surgery. I do not know the people who did this.”
Leave page two of VA Form 0781a with a line through it, and N/A (Not Applicable). ****Seriously - do not put another incident unless you are willing to wait for a very long time.
(To choose which incident if there is more than one, pick the one that has any military record, report or evidence you know of, no matter how small.)
Page three of VA Form 0781a - Address each of the items in #7 on the form. Explain EACH of the "markers" they list. This is KEY to your claim. If you had/did something say it, and if not, say you did not do this behavior.
Here is the list of Markers, and Examples of answers below each one.
• visits to a medical or counseling clinic or dispensary without a specific diagnosis or specific ailment
1. Yes, I went to counseling regarding the assault. Yes, I went to a clinic for testing.
• sudden requests for a change in occupational series or duty assignment
2. The Army involuntarily discharged me within a month after I reported the incident.
• increased use of leave without an apparent reason
3. Yes, I requested and was given a one-week leave immediately after the incident.
• changes in performance and performance evaluations
4. Yes, I received my first poor performance evaluation. Yes, I was always able to do my work, and became unable to do my work after I was assaulted.
• episodes of depression, panic attacks, or anxiety without an identifiable cause
5. Yes, I had panic attacks, felt depressed and had insomnia, and sought counseling for it. I recently requested a copy of my mental health records from Fort Irwin, California and was told they have no record, they had destroyed all old records after a few years.
• increased or decreased use of prescription medications
6. Yes, I increased my use of narcotic & other pain prescription medication at the time.
• increased use of over-the-counter medications
7. Yes, I started using over-the-counter sleep aids, NyQuil, Benadryl, Tylenol PM.
• substance abuse such as alcohol or drugs
8. Yes, I started drinking heavily for the first time in my life. No, I did not do any illegal drugs.
• increased disregard for military or civilian authority
9. Yes, I swore at my superiors. I took leave because I had it, instead of going AWOL.
• obsessive behavior such as overeating or under-eating
10. Yes, I gained 20 lbs. in two weeks. I started checking locks inside house & vehicle; washing my hands raw, and cleaning house obsessively. I also started hoarding & exercised excessively.
• pregnancy tests around the time of the incident
11. Yes, I took pregnancy tests though I had a tubal ligation surgery in June 1992 a few months before I was sexually assaulted.
• tests for HIV or sexually transmitted diseases
12. Yes, I went to an STD Clinic and requested to get tested for HIV & STIs.
• unexplained economic or social behavior changes
13 Yes, I lost my job, and started withdrawing from friends. My life changed forever in many ways breakup of a primary relationship
14 Yes, in 2002, I divorced from my husband after the incident.
This is the end of the list of Markers. Sign and Date the form, and add telephone numbers.
You DO NOT need to find your Military medical records and personnel files, the VA will do this for you. ANYTHING ELSE (JAG, MP, DAILY ROSTER, ETC.) YOU WILL NEED TO REQUEST THAT THE VA GET SEPARATELY as they can get it quickly. You will need to sign a Release of Information for the VA to get it.
4. A copy of anything showing you had problems in the military, such as being AWOL, ARTICLE 15 or a letter from someone who knew you at the time or before and after you served in the military and can attest to the major behavior changes you have shown. Everything should state "I swear this is accurate and true to the best of my ability."
5. A GAF score (Global Assessment of Functioning) can be assigned by your provider at each appointment. (Typically for PTSD the numbers would range around 35-45.) It may be that you are not telling everything to your provider, such as not bathing for days in a row, not caring if you live or die (but not being actively suicidal -- meaning you have a specific plan) etc.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs - Veterans Online Application System (VONAPP) Source: vabenefits.vba.va.gov

VA will use this form as YOUR Evidence. The 21-0781a can be filed on line, and use the PDF - ONLY FILE FOR ONE INCIDENT. http://www.vba.va.gov/pubs/forms/VBA-21-0781a-ARE.pdf

This is used as "Alternative Evidence" which is only allowed for MST claims. VA will use this form in place of "hard" Evidence. (If VA denies a claim, it is likely they are not aware of this form or its use, or they are not trained in MST claims.)
____________________________________________________________________________________
You MUST have all of the above to win a claim IF you do not have a police report, hospital report, or other documentation - so any statement about court martial or punishment will be added insurance for your win.
Again, you need the Diagnosis, Nexus and Evidence to win your VA claim. Try to keep it simple.
AND
If you are "HOMELESS" which according to the VA means you do not have a Rental Agreement, Mortgage or Lease - if you are couch surfing - you ARE HOMELESS. If you are Homeless, or have serious financial difficulty you must tell them you are in FINANCIAL DIFFICULTY, and will need to show them documentation. If this is your case, every sentence with every person at the VA should be "I am a homeless veteran, and need to get this ______________ Expedited ....." or "I am in serious Financial trouble, and need to get this ______________ Expedited ....." Expedited claims can be as little as 3 months.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Even with documents from Police or Hospitals, it is "insurance" for you to submit this form VA-21-0781a. Any statement from you about court martial or punishment of your perpetrator - with name, unit information, approximate date that the VA can look for, will be additional insurance for you to win your service connected VA claim for Military Sexual Trauma.
- Diagnosis, Nexus and Evidence will win your VA claim. Keep it simple.
Mail Everything in to the VARO RETURN RECEIPT

We have groups on yahoo and facebook for survivors of Military Sexual Trauma, both for men, and for women.
Please feel free to share this information with survivors of MST, providers to veterans and veterans service officers.
Susan Avila-Smith
Military Sexual Trauma Specialist
Director, VetWow
www.vetwow.com

www.packparachute.org

and
facebook.com/womenveterans
© Susan Avila-Smith
2009-2012

http://www.vba.va.gov/pubs/forms/VBA-21-0781a-ARE.pdf

www.vba.va.gov

http://www.vba.va.gov/pubs/forms/VBA-21-0781a-ARE.pdf

www.vba.va.gov

Houston VA Doctor refused to see me with my Service Dog

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 19:22:00 +0000

The letter and the response from Jim Strickland you are about to read was originally published on Jim's Mailbag on March 22, 2012. On March 20, 2012, I went to the Houston VA Hospital expecting to be treated with dignity and respect. Isn't that what we should all expect? What happened to me was disastrous. Read on.

Dear Jim;

I'm Wendi Goodman. I'm a retired SSG and I served my country honorably. I'm also an MST survivor and I suffer severe physical and mental health issues. The VA has rated me as 100% permanently and totally disabled.

You know me through my blog One Weary Soldier and our advocacy work together. You've known of my dream to get back to Texas...that's home to me. I recently accomplished that. My wife and I (yes, I'm lesbian and legally married) have moved into a delightful home and I have been settling in well.

Settling in well, that is, until I needed health care. A few weeks ago I was impressed with the beauty and seeming efficiency of the VA Medical Center in Houston. Yesterday I needed a refill of a narcotic pain medicine that I've taken for many years. My appointment with a new primary care physician isn't yet on the radar although I was told weeks ago that would happen soon.

In need of my prescription refill, I went to the VAMC in hopes I could see a physician who would help me. Surely people transfer in all the time so they'd know what to do. Right? Wrong. After being shuffled around (my anxiety level rising every second) I was finally told that I would see Niloufar Ghadiri, MD but that I couldn't bring my service dog in the room with me. My service dog is my lifeline to sanity. I've never been refused like this before. I was near panic but I agreed that I'd leave the dog with my wife if I could have a female escort who would accompany me throughout the journey.

I saw the doctor. She instantly decided that I was just another drug seeking dirtbag and sent me directly to a substance abuse clinic. She didn't look at my record to see my narcotics contract, my prescription history, nor did she bother looking at anything else. It was readily apparent she didn't care for me.

Was it my status as a married lesbian or that I'm an honorably retired soldier? I'll never know but it was apparent that she wasn't interested in seeing me as a veteran patient...I was just a problem, not a veteran.

I had an anxiety attack. I was seen by a psychiatrist who reviewed my records and he concluded that I'm one of those who takes a narcotic drug because I have to, not because I want to.

To try and make this long tale shorter...I went home with a supply of the medicine I needed. But then...as my wife was looking over my paperwork and calming me down...she noticed the wrong Social Security number on some papers. The appointments didn't seem to match what I remember being told.

They had given me another woman's paperwork. I had her name, SSN, appointment history and a lot more very personal information in my hands.

The Houston VAMC refused me the proper use of my dog. The doctor accused me of being a drug seeker and refused to treat me. The medication I walked out with was about 1/2 of what I'll need to get me to the appointment that is supposed to be set up for me. I'm not sure if I have an appointment now because they mixed me up with another veteran and I have her documents. My wife is a basket case and questioning why we ever came here. I haven't been able to get control of my emotions for the last 24 hours. This has been absolutely devastating to me.

Jim, what now?

Reply;

Settling in to a new health care routine is often a challenge. Any veteran who asks for a refill of any narcotic medicine today is suspected of being an abuser, not a user. The witch hunt perpetrated by the "War On Drugs" is particularly high profile at your VHA. All veterans should have a look at their VHA lab work to see how often they're screened for illicit drugs without being informed. You'll be shocked at what you find there. Your VHA often screens you for drugs without your knowledge or consent.

Your choices for a response are limited. The doctor will probably never feel any heat from how she treated you. No matter what you say, everyone in the system will defer to that caregivers judgement and you'll be viewed as the troublemaker.

If I were you, I'd first place a complaint to a patient advocate. That won't resolve anything but it's a necessary step. Then I'd contact the VA OIG. To refuse your service dog is a clear violation of the rules. VA promotes such therapy as service dogs on one hand and then denies that benefit on the other. The privacy violation that occurred when they gave you another veterans paperwork should also be of interest to OIG. Ultimately, I have to wonder if you weren't a case of mistaken identity from the beginning of all this? Did they identify you as a veteran who is known to them already?

It's reasonable to ask the OIG to investigate why the service dog as well as privacy policies aren't enforced.

No actions are going to be taken unless and until you put it all in writing. I say it every day...a well written letter, delivered by certified mail, is the best weapon you have in your arsenal. Your telephone call to the advocate is likely to be forgotten by the weekend. Your certified mail will demand attention.

I'd first write to the director of the medical center where the event occurred. Then I'd address that same letter to the boss at the VHA, Robert A. Petzel, M.D. You can write to Dr. Petzel in Washington, D.C. at,

Robert A. Petzel, M.D.
Under Secretary for Health in the Department of Veterans Affairs
810 Vermont Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20420

Read more about how to write an effective letter to VA by clicking here.

Keep us posted. Your brothers and sisters care!

I have done as Jim advised. I took the first step yesterday afternoon, March 21, 2012, 1330, and I spoke with Lupe the Patient Advocate. I told her everything that happened to me from the time I walked in the door until the late hour when we discovered I had another Veterans name and social security number. Twenty-four hours later I still have not heard back from the Patient Advocate. So far it looks like Jim has hit the nail on the head. I can hear him laughing and telling me, "Don't I always, Kid?" Yes, Jim. You do. That's why you are my friend and mentor.

I will keep you all posted, my friends. Until the next time ......

Guest Post from Evan Thomas - Two New Search Engines

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 19:22:00 +0000

This guest post comes from Veteran Supporter Evan Thomas. Evan is a student at UC Santa Barbara and interns for an organization called FindTheData. They recently launched two new websites, but I'll let Evan tell you about them. Though not a Veteran himself, Evan does have family members who served in the military. Evan feels it's his "duty to support our troops. They put their life on the line to protect our country, the least I could do is work on a website that helps people pay their tributes to fallen soldiers." In his spare time, Evan likes to fish, hike, and play basketball. If you have comments or questions about either of his websites, feel free to email him directly at evan_thomas@umail.ucsb.edu. Evan hopes that you support the troops as much as he does.

And now.... on to Evan and FindTheData.

It’s no secret that our troops are our countries bravest heroes. They deserve to be honored accordingly. Writing letters to our troops or sending care packages is a great way of saying “thank you for defending my freedom.” If you knew someone that lost their life in combat, you know the importance of paying your respects at their graveside. Saying a prayer or leaving a wreath is gesture that shows your appreciation for their service.

In the United States, there are over 6 million Veterans buried in hundreds of different cemeteries. Finding a Veteran’s burial place can be a daunting challenge. The Department of Veterans Affairs keeps a massive database of burial sites of veterans and their beneficiaries, such as spouses and children. This database is jumbled, messy and confusing. A new website now makes it very easy to find a veteran grave for free: LocateGrave.org.

Users can use LocateGrave’s interactive platform to search for graves by cemetery, military branch, military rank, date of birth, name and more. The detailed grave page shows a map of the cemetery and provides the cemetery’s contact information. If you are logged in to Facebook, you can also leave a prayer or note to remember the Veteran.

A similar online tool also powered by FindTheData.org is the Medal of Honor Recipients database. Like the Veteran grave locator, the Medal of Honor tool allows you to search for recipients based on war, rank and name.

***Note from Wendi*** To further honor your deceased loved ones, go to this VA website to order a Presidential Certificate memorializing their service to Country.

Many thanks to Evan and the folks at FindTheData for all the hard work they put into these two websites. I can only begin to imagine the hours and hours of dedication it took to build them. Keep up the good work, Evan! We really appreciate it. What will they come up with next? Stay tuned to this website. Hopefully they will publish it here first.

Until the next time....

Troops’ sexual assault lawsuit dismissed - Marine Corps News | News from Afghanistan & Iraq - Marine Corps Times

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:08:00 +0000

This is as sickening as it gets. How could any Judge dismiss this? In my eyes, this makes him just as guilty as the perpetrators of these crimes against all MST survivors.

What do you think? Comments, please.

Until the next time ....

Troops’ sexual assault lawsuit dismissed - Marine Corps News | News from Afghanistan & Iraq - Marine Corps Times

The Department of Veterans Affairs and their Grotesque Ability to Ruin the Lives of Veterans. An Editorial by Professor Jenny McClendon,

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 03:44:00 +0000

What follows was written by my friend and fellow Veteran, Professor Jenny McClendon. I'm honored to publish it here. Please note that Jenny's opinions are her own and do not reflect the opinions of this blog, or any of the websites affiliated with it. Jennny's credentials are:

Professor Jenny McClendon

Humanities, ethics, and logic professor,
Online and traditional formats,

Historical writer,
Ghost writer,
Old Testament Historian,
Ethicist...

Personal/professional email:
professor.mcclendon@gmail.com

Dubious Doctors at the Department of Veteran’s Affairs have a Grotesque Ability to Ruin the Lives of Veterans

For Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and especially PTSD due to Military Sexual Trauma (MST) survivors the Trauma Clinics have limited resources. This is a political and budget problem and not the fault of the clinic or the clinic staff. However, the means that are used to determine who is and who is not treated at Trauma clinics and women’s clinics can be dubious and threatening to a PTSD survivor.

Case in Point. This has been the roughest year of my life. I had the H1N1 Virus that resulted in pericarditis the exacerbation of which mimicked the symptoms of two heart attacks. I began a PhD program and became aware that I had added way too much stress to my life. I stopped a person from breaking into my apartment in the wee hours of one morning and among a few other things that that triggered some PTSD responses. Untreated PTSD led to the longest and worst depression of my life.

Those PTSD responses included me seeing my rapist when he was not there. I woke to see images of both men that raped me. Symptoms included vivid dreams and at least two dissociative flash backs along with the constant haunting of unwanted intrusive memories. At the recommendation of a friend, I checked in for help at my local Department of Veteran’s Affairs.

The word on the street was that things had changed and that there were wonderful women’s programs and female doctors to help with the unique and special needs of women. This is true when compared to ten years ago when I was illegally discharged from active duty for reporting harassment, a series of assaults, and rape. A decade ago, the term MST was hardly known.

I checked in for therapy and learned about the options that were available to me. The first thing that I was told was troubling. When I was late for an indoc meeting and the director of the clinic met with me personally and gave me an appointment card but he also revealed part of the problem.

He said, “If you are here to be treated for PTSD we need to make sure that PTSD is what is going on with you and not that you are just smoking too much crack.” The “Crack” statement aside, the clinic wants to make sure that PTSD is the issue because of funding. This is fair enough and I cannot help but agree. The “Crack” statement should not be dismissed.

Not all doctors that are working for the VA ruin lives. My remarks are not intended to cast a wide and wet blanket that also captures the unsung heroes that work among the troublemakers.

The “Gold Standard" for care for PTSD and MST is a form of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) known as cognitive processing therapy (CPT). CBT and CPT address a common response to trauma, which is cognitive distortion. Like any intelligent person, I wish that the mental health community would come up with less pejorative descriptions of symptoms.

This behavior therapy has survivors tracking their daily frustrations in ABC format. Traditionally the ABC stands for “Antecedent, Behavior, and Consequence". In other words, it is cause, response and consequence to response. This is a decent manualized therapy and I recommend it over no therapy.

Not all of survivors suffer from cognitive distortion (CD). If you do not suffer from CD this therapy is frustrating. I do not suffer from cognitive distortion –the problematic nature of this term is notwithstanding. Introspective people will be frustrated with CBT.

The other Gold Standard therapy is "Prolonged Exposure” or PE. This is a series of sessions in which a client works with a counselor or in a group to face the triggers of social anxiety. I was not selected for this therapy for good reasons.

After but after reading up on PE to a significant degree, I recommend it for survivors that are willing to revisit the nature of the event and address their trauma responses. For those that are not interested in PE, I recommend Peter Levine’s book, Walking the Tiger.

If for any reason you do not fit the desired trauma mold the staff of the trauma clinic should refer you to the mental health clinic where individual therapy is available. Therapy at the mental health clinic will also be short term. Nevertheless, an early transition to mental health might be helpful in many cases.

The Department of Veteran’s Affairs uses the term “Evidence Based” as if all other therapies have little evidence to support their efficacy. From my experience “Evidence Based” has a texture of being a test where the student has the answers drilled into their heads without the ability to use the material meaningfully and longitudinally. Therapy is better than no therapy, so go.

I was frustrated at the Women’s Clinic at my local VA whose location will not be disclosed. I had a good psychiatrist, I met with a postdoctoral fellow until her fellowship ended, and I began group CPT.

CPT was not correct for me and I was frustrated. I asked for individual counseling but was told that it was unavailable. During one meeting, after being shut down by the course facilitator, I had what felt like an impenetrable flashback in during the class. Other students in the class knew that something was up and two of them walked me to the front door after class. The facilitator did not appear to notice. I left that day with intermittent tears.

I called the course facilitator in tears a few times but she had been out for training –again. I was going to ask –again- for an individual counselor. She offered it and I was transferred to the Mental Health Clinic. This discharged me from the Trauma Clinic which was not explained at first.

I was going to lose my connection with a psychiatrist that I felt safe with. Furthermore, I had to attend an orientation to seek mental health counseling. The orientation was a week away and I was in distress. After one week, I was going to have to wait an additional week to see a therapist. This was unless I wanted to utilize emergency services.

Mental health professionals translate what we say with their personal language biases –see Rousseau’s Discourses on Human Inequality, chapter 2. Emergency services might result in me being an inpatient and I have children to care for. I was between a rock and a hard place, perhaps Thermopylae.

The Mental Health Clinic asked me to check in with the doctor that wrote the consult for mental health. I could not think of a person that wanted to hear from me less.

I checked in with the CPT instructor and her obvious frustration was noteworthy. I asked to be returned to the CPT class. Therapy is better than no therapy and I hoped to stay with my now former psychiatrist.

The CPT facilitator gave me every reason under the sun for me keeping the door closed to that course. The most shameful of her reasons was that I was too damaged from childhood sexual abuse and that I was not good for a group of women that needed this therapy. She had to “defer to the needs of the group.”

This was an atrocious dismissal. After agitation from the Mental Health Clinic the CPT instructor made it clear that she was reluctantly inviting me back but that she had significant trouble with it. In my medical record she put “Intellectualization as a primary defense” and “Challenges the group facilitator” several times.

I left hurt and I ruminated on that anger. A friend that has advocated for veterans for a long time advocated for me and I was granted a meeting with this doctor to discuss treatment options. No other doctor was present which might indicate that my VA has no clue how to mediate a problem.

Here is how they ruin your life.

The doctor used the meeting to listen to a few things and then lop cruel diagnoses at me. She also sat with me in the office of my now former psychiatrist. It did not occur to me at first but this may have been posturing to establish that the two of them had professional intimacy. Any hope of being treated by the psychiatrist is lost and now undesirable.

According to the dubious doctor, I did not have PTSD or if I did, it was only a small portion of my condition –despite the fact that every diagnosis that she lopped at me overlaps with PTSD symptoms. She told me that I was borderline psychotic.

She would never have made psychotic stick because of my level of functioning. She offered to consider individual therapy from an intern but suggested that I would abuse that intern. She offered me a watered down Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group but told me that it would be a long wait. In other words, “Get out of my clinic and we will throw you a bone.”

The poisonous power of a diagnostician’s pen can destroy your life. A mental health provider can use the symptoms of PTSD, which overlap with many other conditions to justify any claim of psychosis, borderline personality disorder “Psychotic light,” or Bipolar along with a host of damaging conditions that fall into or are similar to “Cluster B.”

Have I used the term, “Reprehensibly irresponsible” yet?

Any of these diagnoses gets the PTSD doctor off of the hook for treating you and renders your complaints unfounded. The message is clear, if you are seen at the VA do not complain about your mental health provider or they will diagnose you.

I will follow this article with more articles on handing the VA back their excrement.

This diagnostic abuse can cost you a security clearance –as it might limit mine. This is unless I successfully challenge the diagnosis –and I will. Challenging the diagnosis might have to include an official grievance being filed against my VA.

In order to protect my security clearance, I might have to seek congressional help. I might have to directly challenge the way that this doctor does and or has done her job.

Treatment should not come down to a threat to my employability. Staying employable takes time out of the day for a working veteran and it makes me wonder whether a percentage of the large number of veterans that are out of work is due to VA doctors rendering trauma survivors unemployable.

In other words, to remain employable, I may have to pull out all of the stops. Dubious doctors –among unsung heroes- at the Department of Veteran’s Affairs should not have the power to undermine the career goals of veterans.

My goal for pulling out all of the stops will be to have doctors reviewed every time they use the symptoms of PTSD to diagnose a client with a superfluous and career limiting condition. If we do not protect our livelihood against the tyranny of the diagnostician’s pen, shame on us.

The 2012 Race for President and Marriage Equailty

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 00:08:00 +0000

I try to stay away from politics, but this hits close to home. Many of you know that I've been fighting to add my wife to my VA Disability Claim. There are a lot of Gay & Lesbian disabled Veterans who are legally married. All we ask is to be treated equally and afforded the same benefits as opposite sex married couples. Read the article below. It's got a nice little chart all detailed out for you. It spells out exactly where your Presidential candidates stand on issues important to the LGBT Community. Enjoy.

Until the next time......

My Wife Terri and I ---two happily (legally) married women!

The 2012 Race for President and Marriage Equailty: Ever wonder where your presidential candidate stands on marriage equality and 11 other issues that would affect 31 million LGBT citizens? We've got the answers for you in a handy chart.

Pink Bag Luncheon for Women Veterans in Tampa, 12/09/2011

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 22:41:00 +0000

Happy Holidays from the Tampa VA! Not in the holiday spirit? Find out why. Come to the December "Pink Bag Lunch N Learn". Find out ways to get back in the spirit. Come and listen to the professionals speak. Network with other Women Veterans who feel the same way that you do. You are not alone.

For more information, contact the Women Veterans Program Manager, Pam Beatty- Smith at 813-972-2000. Pam is always willing to answer your questions and give you a few moments of her time.

Pink Bag Lunch N Learn

Friday, December 9, 2011

11:30 to 1:00 pm

2nd floor – Auditorium

James A Haley VA Hospital

Tampa, FL

Topic: Beat Those Holiday Blues!

Speakers: Amanda Grossenbacher, Psy. D and Kristen Keune, PhD

· Network with women…win door prizes…learn new information

· Snacks / refreshments provided

· All are welcome with special recognition for women Veterans!

Sponsors: JAHVH Women Veterans Advisory Committee / VA Nurse Academy

Traveling with a service dog is not as easy as it should be

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:24:00 +0000

While returning home from a vacation in Texas, Terri and I recently checked into the LaQuinta Inn located in Covington, LA 70433. I had no problems checking in with my service dog because they allow dogs. The night desk clerk was a young, friendly gal who welcomed us with a smile and greeted my service dog, Strudel, like she was an old friend. She told us LaQuinta was a dog friendly hotel but she especially liked the service dogs because they were always so well trained.

The following morning, Terri and I went downstairs to enjoy the free breakfast that LaQuinta offers. Of course, I had Strudel with me and she was "vested up" all nice and proper. There was no mistaking that she was a service dog. Just as we sat down to eat our breakfast, the front desk clerk, "Corliss", came in and and told me my dog had to leave because they weren't allowed in the breakfast area. I pointed out to her that my dog was a service dog, NOT a "pet" and that I'm a 100% disabled veteran. She didn't care. She repeated again that my dog had to leave. I refused to leave and she walked out and never came back. This was NOT the same clerk who had checked us in the night before. This was someone who didn't have a clue. Terri and I finished our breakfast, Strudel under the table where she was supposed to be, just as quiet and invisible as I've taught her to be in a restaurant.

After breakfast, Terri and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I'd eaten my breakfast in silence, horribly embarrassed by the interaction with the front desk clerk, Corliss. I don't do well in crowds at all which is one of the reasons I have a service dog with me at all times. To make matters worse, the breakfast room was almost fully occupied. At a long table perpendicular to ours sat a dozen Veterans from the 1st Air Cavalry Division. They were there for a reunion; celebrating their 45th anniversary. They sat and watched the entire exchange. Talk about total humiliation!

Finally, time to check out. I had to deal with Corliss again. I asked her if she was familiar with ADA laws regarding service dogs. She said that she was. If she was, then why did she try to kick me out of the breakfast area? I asked her that question. My intent was to educate her and not belittle her. She said she'd spoken to the manager and the manager had told her it was okay for me and my dog to be in there. So then I asked to speak with the manager. I was told the manager doesn't work on the weekends. I felt I was due an apology from Corliss. What I got was attitude.

LaQuinta is a major hotel chain. How in the world can they NOT have a manager on duty on the weekends to handle difficult issues?

When I returned home, I wrote an email to LaQuinta and it was forwarded to the manager of the hotel we stayed in. Her name is Meghan Lee and her email address is lq0866gm@laquinta.com. She apologized and said she would handle the matter, but nothing was said about educating the rest of the staff. Allegedly, Corliss claimed she didn't know that Strudel was a service dog. How could she not know? Strudel and I walked around the "buffet" to pick out our breakfast before we sat down. Strudel always wears her vest. Corliss had to have seen us walking around in there from the front desk. Once we sat down, it was impossible to see us from the front desk. I told her, not once, but twice, that Strudel was a working service dog and not a "pet". How hard is it to understand that concept?

The hospitality industry just doesn't get it, my friends. More and more of us are out there traveling with service dogs. And guess what? We spend money, too. We are a viable part of society. Our dogs turn our "disabilities" into "abilities" and what once seemed like a cold, cruel, world for many of us is now becoming more accessible thanks to our four-legged friends. I can't tell you what a difference my two dogs, Rocco and Strudel, have made in my life.

The next time you're out there with your service dog, my friends, and an employee gives you a hard time about it, let me know. I'll blog about it. If you have a cell phone with you and can access Facebook, post your troubles to Facebook immediately. I'm sure your Facebook friends will take up the fight for you instantly. I've seen it happen before. In retrospect, I wish I had done that but I was too upset to think that fast. That's one of the reasons I have a service dog .... I get rattled quickly when confronted in a crowd. My service dogs react to my anxiety and they know just how to respond to calm me and remove me from the situation. Since I wasn't about to leave, Strudel responded by putting her head in my lap. We were in a restaurant and she's trained, as most service dogs are (or should be) to lay quietly under the table. Most times in a restaurant, no one even realizes I have a service dog with me until I get up to leave. My dogs are that well trained and in tune to my needs.

I must mention that I wasn't alone. My wife, Terri, was with me. I don't go anywhere without her. My service dogs are well trained but Terri can be a Pit Bull when she believes someone has done me wrong. She was furious at how I was treated and I have no doubt things would've gotten ugly if Terri had gotten her way. One of these days my loving wife is going to knock the piss out of someone for discriminating against us. I love my wife. She's the strength that keeps me going every hour of every day.

That's it for today, my friends. Remember to stand up for yourself and your service dog as best you can. Report those who discriminate against you. Tell me about it. I'll spread the word here. Post the facts to Facebook. Report it to the corporate offices of the offender. Talk to the media if you have to. This kind of illegal discrimination has to stop.

As for me ... well, it's October 14, 2011. I'm going to sit here and wait for UPS to deliver my new iPhone 4s. Yep, I'm a sucker. I pre-ordered one as soon as I found out my service provider was going to start carrying them. I've held off until now because I'm a diehard Sprint customer and have been for the last 11 years. Now that Sprint is carrying the iPhone, I have no more excuses. Hurry up, UPS!

The other thing I'm waiting for is our son to call us and tell us he's been sworn into the Army as a "Future Soldier"... what us oldtimers used to call the "Delayed Entry Program". Terri and I have been texting back and forth all morning to see if the other has heard from him. We're both very proud of him.

Until the next time.....

Senator Patty Murray and the VA... Now hear this. By Jenny McClendon.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 16:33:00 +0000

The following letter was written by Veteran Jenny McClendon. I am proud to call her my friend. I am also honored to publish this for her. The letter will be sent to Senator Patty Murray on behalf of MST Victims everywhere. I've done no editing other than to add a few pictures that weren't a part of the original letter.

Thanks for reading. Feel free to share this with everyone you know. Until the next time. Wendi.

**************************

Dear Senate Committee on Veteran’s Affairs Chairperson Patty Murray:

This letter is being written to expose a problematic behavior that appears to be rampant at the Department of Veterans Affairs. The letter is lengthened by the groundwork that is necessary to put this obscene practice in its proper light.

To begin this letter I want to thank you for your steadfast efforts on behalf of those of us that have served. A sailor, soldier, Air person, or Coast Guards person never forgets the people that they served with. The collective “We” never forget what those that we serve with mean to us. Moreover, we never forget who fights for us on that enchanting and alluring law making “Hill.”

From the core of my soul, I thank you for all that you do.

There are a few other things that soldiers and sailors never forget. The incredible solidarity and the unity of purpose within the ranks is something so special that it evades description. Unfortunately that unity of purpose is often lost to the strife that is generated by a prejudice that has long haunted this great nation.

To borrow a phrase that one of my undergraduate professors used to describe the road to Abolition, “There is a cancer that is eating away at the stability of our troops and that cancer is sexism.” Dr. Stevens said “A young nation and slavery” but the shoe still fits.

That cancer has been resistant to the radiation therapy of bi annual regulations training and cultural diversity training that begins in boot camp. That very cancer is expressed in sexual violence against women and men in order to dominate them.

Many great Soldiers, Sailors, Air persons, and Coast Guard Personnel are lost to the effects that follow Military Sexual Trauma (MST). Some survivors are lost to medical discharges and countless others have their futures scarred by “Other than Honorable” discharges from active duty service.

Those personnel that are lost often have no choice related to their discharge. There is little legal recourse if you are raped and less recourse if you are illegally discharged.

This unimaginable, indescribable, and reprehensible horror is only trumped by the fact that some of us are murdered and lost to suicide during or after service.

This takes me close to my point.

The Department of Veterans Affairs is supposed to be a place where mental health and general health services are available to veterans. An atrocity that exacerbates betrayal in the ranks beyond measure is betrayal at the Department of Veterans Affairs (The VA).

Treatment for MST and PTSD at VA trauma clinics is misrepresented as a series of “Evidence Based Therapeutic Practices.” This is an unsettling euphemism for “Express line therapy.”

These therapies are not unlike a therapy car wash where the VA gets you in and gets you out scrubbed down and washed up. When one out of every five national suicides is a veteran, therapy in the express line may be ill advised at best.

Eighteen suicides a day among veterans is alarming. Five losses to suicide per day by veterans under VA care cannot be described with accuracy. Are we sure that the VA should be running a therapeutic car wash?

Veteran suicide, in your own words, “Has had a tragic impact.” This letter is about to report a sinister problem that compounds or illuminates the tragic impact.

The VA has an “Out” for the treatment of MST survivors. If a survivor is also a survivor of child hood sexual trauma, the VA often dismisses the need for MST treatment due to a “Pre-existing condition.”

I fell victim to this practice. My father raped me when I was 14. He is a purple heart earning combat wounded Marine.

I made the tragic error of reporting this to the VA when the intake resident asked me. When I had some trouble in Cognitive Processing Therapy -the car wash- I ended up being pushed away from the trauma clinic.

I wanted desperately to stay in Trauma Services” just to stay with my psychiatrist. If the psychologist needed to take her leave of me, this was one thing but I needed some stability and I did not want to lose a connection with my psychiatrist. I did not have a choice; I was given the VA version of an other than honorable discharge from trauma services.

The given excuse was that I was bad for the group and that the group had to come first. I was allegedly “Bad for the group” because I had been offended as a child and that complicated treatment. I have found this to be common and not isolated to a single VA trauma center.

MST survivors are familiar with both of the excuses that I have listed. “The good of the group over the needs of the individual” is used to suppress rape reporting within the ranks. I wonder how many of the five people that we lose each day while under VA care are ostracized in similar ways.

Historically, the “Good of the group” mentality is a common excuse to ignite genocide and/or rank and file McCarthyism.

How we end up with some veterans being less valuable or less deserving than other veterans is an alarming question that probably does not have an answer worthy of the power of the question.

The “Pre-existing condition” excuse is used by military doctors limit the efficacy of medical boards for MST survivors that are trying to salvage their careers. We are more or less discharged for being raped “Again.” I do not have to qualify this with an adjective. I think that you have a word in mind by now.

When the VA is guilty of heinous behavior toward veterans we scratch our heads and wonder what to do and where to go. Whether this is for a clinic or clinician’s exoneration from duty to veterans or something else, this is repulsive to a power of ten. I ask for your action on this letter.

I am writing to you to report this problem and ask for legislation that prevents the VA from asking the question, “Were you a victim of childhood abuse.” There is a moral obligation to “Do no harm” among doctors. This is not the only ball that is dropped at the VA.

VA therapists will push back by saying that they lack the ability to treat the whole person without full disclosure. This argument would have traction if the VA operated by treating “The whole person.” They do not; they put us in a car wash. If we have a carwash for some veterans and dismissal for other veterans, then we have betrayal. Upon a premise of betrayal and another premise of express line therapy, the “Whole person” argument fails muster.

With all due and well delivered respect,

Jenny McClendon

Veteran, mother, wife, ethics and logic professor.

Denied Veterans Benefits Over Same-Sex Marriage, Carmen Cardona Sues - NYTimes.com

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 01:58:00 +0000

The article below by James Dao of the New York Times says this appeal may be the first of its kind. Considering I started this fight in June 2010, I kind of doubt that. However, that's neither here nor there. I'd like to talk to Carmen Cardona. Do you know her? Have her email me at onewearysoldier@gmail.com. Tracy (the other Veteran in this battle) and I need to touch base with her. We should all be fighting together on this. There is power in numbers!

Terri and I on our wedding day. May 30, 2010.

Denied Veterans Benefits Over Same-Sex Marriage, Carmen Cardona Sues - NYTimes.com

War? Who Cares? By Leo Dougherty

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 22:45:00 +0000

    Since the beginning of the war in Iraq I have been saying to anyone who would listen how easy it is for those in Congress who never wore the uniform and who do not have loved ones in the service to send other people’s children, brothers and sisters, and moms and dads into war. It’s real easy to do when you have never served or spent any time in the dangerous situations that often occur during military service. Most often the response I get is an odd look from the person I am talking to. And, if I’m in a public place I notice others who overhear my comments shake their heads while smiling knowingly, probably thinking I don’t know anything about what I am saying.

    I have also been saying for a very long time that multiple deployments are unfair and jeopardize the health and welfare, not to mention the lives of those who experience those multiple deployments. And I normally add that it’s shameful that a great majority of Americans just don’t care so long as it’s someone else’s loved one in harm’s way.

    Last night, Wednesday, October 5, 2011, Brian Williams and Jim Miklaszewski reported on NBC Nightly News about the disconnect between Americans and the wars. Among other statistics, it was reported that only about 25% of civilians pay any attention to the wars.

    Can you imagine that? Seventy five percent of our society do not care about the wars and, apparently, about our young men and women who daily place their lives in danger for us. Despite the fact that we all pay to clothe, feed, transport, arm and, at least while they’re still in the service provide for the medical care of military personnel, 75% of Americans don’t care.

    Last week I received the October 2011 VFW Magazine and on the “Now Hear This” page was the headline, “Military Draft Opposed.” The short story said, “According to a Rasmussen Reports poll in July, more than two-thirds (67%) of likely American voters oppose bringing back a military draft. 15% are not sure. Only 18% of the voting public favors conscription.”

    Whether our society intends it or not, this is the majority of America appearing to say they don’t care about war, about those who serve, and those who have served so long as it’s someone else’s loved one. That’s a pretty bold statement and I confess it’s only my opinion but even if I am incorrect, it is a perception that many who have served share. Sometimes, perceptions are stronger than reality.

One thing is for certain. If the draft was reinstated, members of Congress who never wore a uniform would much more carefully consider when and where we send those who serve into combat. And, if those members of Congress who never served and yet have loved ones who would be required to serve in the event of war, you can bet they would make a careful determination about war. They would very likely be attuned to, concerned about, and willing to support with benefits those who did serve when they come back home.

In this morning’s Tampa Tribune a story by the Associated Press said that a Pew Research Center poll indicated one in three veterans say the wars are not worth it. The story said, “Nearly 4,500 U. S. troops have died in Iraq and about 1,700 in Afghanistan. Combined war costs since the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks have topped $1 trillion.”

    How many houses could have been built with this money? How many bridges, tunnels and roadways could have been repaired, rebuilt or upgraded with this money? How many critically ill children could we have cared for with this money? How much investment in scientific, medical, or technological research could have been made with this money?

    For a sobering eye-opening experience on the cost of the current wars, go to http://costofwar.com/en/ and just watch as the numbers move so fast it will make you dizzy. While I cannot vouch for the veracity of the figures, they do present a picture of spending that will make you wonder just what these wars have done to our economy.

    The Iraq war has cost more than $798 billion. The Afghanistan war has cost more than $461 billion. Both figures appear to increase by more than $1,000.00 each second. It’s mind boggling.

    Should only a small minority of Americans be required to fight our wars? Should only a small minority of American families bear the brunt of worry and loss? Should we send those who volunteer to serve back into combat again and again? Should we accept that a great majority of Americans just don’t care about the wars and the warriors? Should a group of politicians who have never worn a military uniform be permitted to decide whether or not to plunge our country into war? Should we continue spending more than $1,000.00 per second for each of the current wars?

    I’m just one person but my answer to all of those questions is no. If the draft was reinstated, even if just on an as-needed basis, those questions would not have to be asked.

Finally, why are we allowing 75% of America to enjoy the protection of our military without bearing any of the burdens the warriors and their families must bear? It’s long past the time for veterans and veterans’ families to speak out.

**** Leo is a regular contributor to VA Watchdog Today dot Org. You can find his previous articles by clicking here. He is an accredited agent advocate who has been representing Veterans for 25+ years. He is a Navy Veteran and I'm honored to call him my friend. ***Wendi***

Shout out to Women Vets in the Tampa Bay area -- Will you meet me at the Tampa VA Hospital on October 4, 2011?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 22:40:00 +0000

Calling all Women Veterans in the Greater Tampa Bay area. This one is for you. I don't think you need a reminder that the month of October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. All you have to do is turn on the television, open a magazine, read the newspaper, or go online and there are reminders everywhere. They are definitely IN YOUR FACE. Do I mind? No. I'm one of those who is religious about going in for mammograms. I have a maternal history of breast cancer in my family so I know I have an increased risk for developing it. My doctors are aware of it and my primary care physician at JAH is very pro-active when it comes to getting me scheduled for my annual exam. If you haven't had your annual done lately, what are you waiting for? Call your PCP and get scheduled. Now. It may just save your life. The phone number to the Tampa VA Hospital is 813-972-2000.

If you're in the Tampa area, Pamela Smith-Beatty, the Women Veterans Program Manager at JAH has been putting together luncheons for Women Veterans every couple of months designed to educate us on various topics. The subject for the luncheon on October 4th is "Think Pink! Breast Cancer Awareness." If you click here you will go directly to the flyer for the conference. If that doesn't work for you, copy and paste the following link to your browser and it will take you to the flyer.

https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1nYse0ZmlYaVbySjPeQ4VqnEcsEZ2YcLHeoThO0XVsD8

Pam asks that you wear pink to the luncheon. I'll be there. I may have to go out and purchase something pink to wear. It's not a color I normally wear. I'm not sure what to do about Rocco. He doesn't wear pink either. His service vest is a deep royal blue. I guess I'll have to put a pink bandana on him for the day. He's secure enough in his masculinity that I'm sure the pink won't bother him.

For more information please call the Tampa VA Hospital and ask to speak with Pam Smith-Beatty, Women Veterans Program Manager. She'll be happy to take your calls and answer your questions. She's been a tremendous help to me with several issues I've had with the Tampa VA Hospital.

While we are on the topic of Pam, she can also help if you need to be seen for your PTSD issues. It doesn't matter if they are combat or MST related. If you need treatment and you aren't getting it, call Pam at (813) 972-2000 extension 6695. Remember, for PTSD due to MST, you do not have to be service connected to be treated. If someone tries to tell you otherwise, call Pam immediately. She will make sure you get seen. She's not your average VA employee. She's also a USAF Retiree having served 21 years in uniform. She has my respect and admiration. She's someone we can depend on at the Tampa VA to help us. I have a direct line to her, folks. If you need my help to reach her, you can always email me and I'll make sure she gets in contact with you.

I hope to see you at the luncheon on October 4th. Please stop and say hello to Rocco and me either before or after the presentation is over. If you would, let me know that you heard about it by reading this post.

One last thing before I let you go. Please, please, please .... share the link to this post with all the Women Vets you know in the Greater Tampa Bay area. Try to encourage them to attend this luncheon. I realize it's difficult because many of you work, but I also know that there are just as many of you out there who don't or can't work. If you can get to the VA Hospital in Tampa on October 4th, come join me and Rocco. We'll definitely be waiting to shake your hand and say hello.

Until the next time......

Bill approved to make VA service-dog friendly - Marine Corps News | News from Afghanistan & Iraq - Marine Corps Times

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 15:49:00 +0000

Bill approved to make VA service-dog friendly - Marine Corps News | News from Afghanistan & Iraq - Marine Corps Times

Beware of phony veterans raising funds

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 23:11:00 +0000

Jim Strickland has covered this before on www.watchdogtoday.org. It's sad, but true. I've run into these guys before. I've seen them perched in front of places like my local Walmart and most recently, Winn-Dixie, here in Spring Hill, FL. Did I stop and give them my hard earned money? No. Did I stop and harass them? No, I didn't do that either. It's best not to confront them in spite of what the DAV Commander states in the posted article below. In my opinion .... and I learned this from Jim, it's best to just ignore them. Don't give them your money. Just be on your way. They take 30% of what they collect in their buckets. Do you want to contribute to their income? I don't. I would rather give my money to something worthwhile. There are plenty of reputable Veterans Organizations out there who give 90% of their intake to Vets. I'm not here to endorse any particular group. You can do the research yourself. In the meantime, read the article below to learn who NOT to give your money to.

Until the next time .....

Beware of phony veterans raising funds