Ramona Writes, "Again."

Grief Before Blame. Always. Then Mercy.

2013-04-18T11:12:00.002-05:00

It's a real place. These are real people. And they're shocked, devastated, and weeping. Those are my thoughts as I sit here in tears thinking about the tragedies that have happened in our nation recently.

I grew up in a small town in Texas. So, the tragedy in West yesterday evening hits home a bit more for me. I've been through West. My family always looks forward to swinging by the Czech Stop for kolaches when we go home for a visit.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but when I first heard of the fire and explosion, the thoughts of others and myself were that we hoped the Czech Stop wasn't damaged. We had no idea the devastation. We didn't realize people had died. We had just latched on to what we knew personally.

Tragedy is awful anywhere. But when it hits a small town like that, everyone suffers. If the death toll of 60-70 people holds up (and I earnestly hope it does not), it means every single family in that town has probably suffered the loss of a loved one -- maybe not their immediate family, but a cousin, an uncle, a neighbor. Someone close. Someone too close to be lost.

There is a time to look for answers. There is a time to find out what we can do better. But now is not it.

I truly believe we lose a part of ourselves when we choose not to grieve with those who are grieving. To ignore the pain, skipping right to the anger and the blame, is to callous our skin and harden our hearts.

And oh my gosh never is the time for sarcasm. Nor belittlement. Can we get through one disaster without the idolatry of politics once again ruling the day?

How long was it after the horrid tragedy in Sandy Hook that our facebook feeds filled up with gun control debates, both for and against? Children had just been viciously stolen from their families, and already people were arguing with each other instead of praying for those picking up the pieces of their devastated lives.

When I first saw the photos and memes after Sandy Hook, I instantly thought about those parents and wondered how awful that must be to see. I would just be screaming at the top of my lungs, "I'm broken and hurting here! Can't you see?!?!? I'm burying my child at Christmas. Don't you care?"

The previous goes to everyone. But to any Christians reading this, I would add this:

I know that there are many more helpers than hurt-ers out there. Their stories are beautiful and encouraging. And on the scene, you see them clearly. But from a distance, they're harder to recognize amidst all the other junk. We can either magnify their light or dim it by our words and actions.

Jesus did not come to the earth nor to die for our political causes. Neither, liberal nor conservative, no matter how righteous they may seem. No matter how much of an expression of our faith they may seem. Judas made that error -- there was plenty wrong in their country that needed fixing. And he betrayed Jesus in doing so.

Let us follow in the footsteps of Jesus, not Judas.

Let us resolve to bind up the broken hearts. Comfort those who mourn. Rebuild the ruins. Be the tender-hearted hands and feet of Jesus.

And ignore the mocking debates in Herod's Court.

It's easy for me to get caught up in them, too. I have an opinion. Someone is wrong on the internet and I feel the need to clarify. But I've resolved it's a waste of time. People generally do not want to be confused by the facts. Instead, I'm determined to:

Pray.
Volunteer.
Give.
Get trained.
Help the first responders and second responders --
the Red Cross,
my denomination's Disaster Relief Agency,
a mission of mercy organized in my town or your town...

To do anything else, I believe, is to risk betraying Jesus. And the hurting. May I never do that again.

-rg-

Blessing or Prayer for a Baby Shower

2013-04-06T19:52:00.001-05:00

We had a baby shower at our church today for two women expecting "bonus children", so to speak! Typical quirky pw that I am (and becoming even moreso as I age) -- I spent some time last night on pinterest searching for ideas of what to bring. I started a group board with other pastors' wives for shower/girly food, and then also a private personal board specifically for baby shower ideas.

Guess what I brought? Yep! A pre-made cheese and cracker platter I snagged at the store on my way to the shower. I just flat ran out of time! In fact, I was late to the gathering because I got confused with a turn and ended up on the wrong side of town!

So anyway! Last night, God seemed to be prompting me to work on a blessing to give to or pray over the moms and their new little ones. I looked up some verses, and here's what I came up with. I'm posting it in case it may be helpful to others. It can easily be switched from prayer to blessing with a few "May you's" and such along the way:

Thank you for these beautiful moms whom you've clothed in strength and dignity. They are strong women who manage their families well.

Thank you for these precious gifts whom you are knitting together in their wombs.

We look forward to getting to know them! Until then, we rest in the assurance that you've known them before they even existed, already acquainted with their ways.

May you give them a safe and easy delivery into this world, and help them to thrive once they're in it.

May they grow to love you with all their heart -- running to Jesus, just like the children did when you walked the Earth.

May our church love them with our hands and feet, as well as with our thoughts and prayers.

So, I guess if I was going to spend the time on a creative pursuit, I hope in this case it was better spent on the blessing rather than the creating of something edible or cute!

I don't usually write out prayers, so this was new to me! I grew up in a church where we did have printed liturgy and prayers, but people were always in such a rush to get through them, that too much was lost in translation. I'm gradually re-embracing some of that heritage, and have found it especially well-received in the multi-cultural setting we are now in.

-rg-

(p.s. I was inspired by an e-book I downloaded after Sarah Bessey posted a short selection from it. Today's prayer from that book, Common Prayer. A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals included the idea of loving with our hands and feet. Two days in, and I am loving the electronic version of this book!)

I'm Not Blue About Autism

2013-04-02T20:08:00.000-05:00

Today I went on a college tour with my eighteen-year-old son. He's a fascinating person. He sees things in ways I would never see them. He does things I'd never think of doing.

I still remember the time in middle school when he got bored during library time, so he translated his history assignment into Chinese. (His teacher of course was amused, but made him re-translate it back into English before re-submitting it.) One of many fond memories I have of his childhood.

So, imagine my excitement when I learned today that the school we were looking at actually offers classes in Chinese! I know that secretly, it excites him, too. I saw the smirk on his face.

Things haven't always been easy for us. I'm not meaning to gloss over that. Sensory overload was tough to understand and accommodate at first, to say the least. And I certainly understand why people find autism puzzling. (And highly recommend Temple Grandin for helpful insight.)

Oh yes, if you haven't guessed already, my son does have a diagnosis of autism, at least from the Psychologist. If you want to get technical, he has PDD-NOS with medium impairment, diagnosed by a Pediatric Specialist when he was almost 3. Though in working to understand him and help him, his "impairment" is now considered mild.

I mention it as an afterthought because my son is himself first. Autism explains why he doesn't catch on to certain ways of standing and certain social nuances. It explains why he can be disorganized about some things and won't always speak up for himself when he should. However, autism does not define my son.

Today, I'm going to say something that I've been sitting on for about 6 years. I think it's taken me that long to get the backbone to say it and not care about the consequences. In fact, I already posted something on Facebook and some of my friends there are not happy with me!

So let me clarify right from the beginning... I know that people mean well. They post photos with puzzle pieces and/or blue lights because they know and love someone with autism! I get that, believe me!

But, there's more to the story...

AUTISM SPEAKS DOES NOT SPEAK FOR ME NOR MY SON!

That feels good to say! Please let me explain...

I have NEVER secretly hoped my son would accidentally wander off into a pond and drown. I have NEVER considered driving off a bridge with him in the car, only to be stopped by the thought of my "normal" children still needing their mother.

And I'm concerned that the "cure" for autism will most likely look a lot like the "cure" for down syndrome.

Confused? I'll let someone with autism explain, because their voice is what has been missing from the conversation all along (or at least for the last 6 years):

Why I am against Autism Speaks, by I am. I am. I am.

Oh, and might I recommend Autism Acceptance Month instead?

-rg-

The Problem with Telling People When To Marry & Have Children

2013-04-01T18:55:00.002-05:00

I've come across some articles lately that I just have to respond to.

Timing Matters When Having Kids seems to encourage others to have children young -- when you're more fertile and have more energy. This is certainly something to keep in mind when making life-long decisions.

I married young. What are the rest of you waiting for? posits a valid point as well. In the article, Julia Shaw makes the case that, "Marriage wasn’t something we did after we’d grown up—it was how we have grown up and grown together." (I also realize that she never mentions God or the Bible or anything like that, and perhaps I shouldn't be grouping these two articles together.)

Anyway, great thoughts there, too. But here's why I'm upset.

I listened to similar advice when I was younger, and I have regretted it over and over. Getting married "young" (at 22) made college tougher, and then I was faced with new pressures regarding children.

I loved my husband then, and I still do. But we got married way too soon. When he asked, "Why wait?" I didn't have an answer.

I also didn't have an answer when I read an article similar to the one above about why women shouldn't wait long to have children because of health reasons. I bought the advice that I could always finish college later and re-start my career after our children were squared away.

Twenty years later, I know the answer to "why wait" -- it's because I'm worth waiting for.

If I could go back to that time and give myself an answer to repeat, I would say to him, "Darling. I know that you're anxious to get started with the rest of your life. I know we love each other so it doesn't seem to make sense to wait any longer...

"But, I'm going to wake up one day at 40 and wonder how in the world I got there -- how I went 18 years without finishing my degree because there was always one more thing or person who needed to come first before I finished what I'd begun. I'll keep telling myself that I can always go back and finish later until I finally realize that it's too late and I can't go back (time, finances, etc.).

"I'm going to look over the lean years in our marriage, when a man with a master's degree working as a full time pastor wasn't paid much more than beggar's wages, simply because his first two decades of experience were in another denomination, and wonder why we ever subjected ourselves to that. Why we had no other options.

"And some day I'm going to feel accusatory and like God doesn't care, even though deep down I know better. Even though I know, know, know I have life so much better than many and how dare I even think that.

"And truthfully... I'm going to know that there's no sense blaming God for something I brought upon myself. I listened to others instead of blocking them out and asking God what He would have me do and when."

I was an emotional wreck at the time. I was having a hard time thinking for myself. I wish people would have advised me to seek God and would have prayed with me, instead of advising me on what they would do based on practicalities.

It doesn't matter if you've been married for 6 years or 60, what God has told you to do is not the same as what God is wanting others to do. Maybe God wants them to wait. Maybe God wants them to adopt.

I've learned that when others come to me for guidance, I advise them to seek God, and I let THAT be enough.

-rg-

Clean Water: A #GA Church Experience

2013-03-22T00:00:00.000-05:00

I'm a new missions leader this year for the GA's (a group for girls in grades 1-6) at our church, and am gradually getting my feet on the ground. If you know about GA's, we've been doing Journey projects along the way, and now I'm improvising a bit to help the girls earn a Pure Water, Pure Love patch.

One of my goals is to help these girls become missional leaders. I'm sure somewhere in the GA program, that's one of their stated goals as well. Like I said, I'm still getting my feet wet!

So, knowing that World Water Day is coming up, and since I'm also the Pure Water, Pure Love consultant for our tiny SBC convention up here, I thought it'd be neat if I could get the girls involved in planning an educational experience for our congregation, rather than having me plan something and telling them what their role will be.

Normally, we'd want to actually DO the activity on or near March 22nd (World Water Day), but the timing of Palm Sunday and Easter complicate things a bit this year. So, the next best thing is to use these two weeks or so to plan.

Since this is our first year and the girls are young, I've started them off with a partially fleshed-out idea this time around -- that we set a day at church where everyone willing carries around "dirty" water everywhere they go, to experience a small taste of what people in under-developed countries have to go through every day to fetch water that really isn't fit to drink.

I'm thinking we'll use water bottles for the young and gallon containers for the adults, health permitting. Then, at the end, we could use the water filters I have access to and demonstrate how effective they are.

But, I don't want to really make the water dirty. So, I had the girls brainstorm: What could we use to make the water look dirty, but would still be safe in case a little munchkin actually took a drink of it? I suggested something like chocolate milk mix, but wanted to hear from them. Here were their ideas:

cooked brownies and/or brownie mix
melted chocolate
marshmallows with chocolate

I'm not sure what the marshmallows are for, but I think it's important for them to make the decisions, even if they're quirky decisions or mistakes. So next week, we're going to test out their ideas to see which might work the best to give us the desired effect.

Hopefully, we'll also finish up our plans so that I can share them with you as well. One of the girls is wanting us to have the congregation drink the unfiltered water instead, so it should be a fun discussion!

Until then, I challenge you to take a glimpse into the reality that is hardly imaginable. Clean water really does change everything.

For more information, please see my PWPL page for another project idea, and connect with the national Pure Water, Pure Love Ministry.

If you're not with the SBC and are looking for a non-denominational water ministry, I highly recommend Living Water International. Their training experiences are top-notch!

-rg-

Hello Muddy March!

2013-03-14T22:26:00.002-05:00

Daffodils emerge next to Christmas lights still frozen to the ground.

The blanket of snow is beginning to melt down in southeastern Wisconsin -- a welcome sight. It may still be winter, but spring IS coming!

Next to the house, where the white covers have already been partially stolen away, pregnant daffodils are stretching out -- their baby bumps already beginning to show.

Yesterday, I looked out the sunny window, excited for what is to come. The ailing vitamin D in my bloodstream has been begging to reproduce. Yet I grimaced as I stepped outside, fierce cold winds chilling me to the bone.

Oh yeah, that un-melted snow everywhere... those piles of frozen flakes that I've almost stopped seeing because they've been there so long... they should have been a *clue* that it's not warmed up yet!

We seem to forget after a while that green grass does grow here. Yes, it will flourish again with bees and butterflies frolicking amongst. Bugs and insects? I saw a fly yesterday in the upstairs of the church building and wondered where in the world it came from. Oh yeah, they do still exist.

But at this point in winter, the recollection of what is soon to come again has faded. It seems like memories of soft green carpet are from another piece of property we moved away from a long time ago.

The colorful garden catalogs began arriving in the mail last month. Ironically, we had to shovel the snow from a recent storm away from our mailbox so that the postal worker could deliver them. You're kidding me, right? But if I don't order now I risk the plants I want being sold out to everyone south of us. Another long year will pass before I even get to think about how I'll enjoy them.

I find myself looking at photos to remind myself what our yard really looks like underneath its winter coat, and resolving again to plan my summer gardening in the fall, when the ground and its contours are still visible.

But today. Today was different. I prowled around outside in just a sweater over a long-sleeved shirt. It took some doing, but I managed to scale my way along the front of our house and over to the side. I inched along the snow-covered balance beam that keeps the thawing dirt from the flower bed in place. If the neighbors glanced over, they were rewarded with an entertaining show as I slid around and down. But I snagged encouraging snapshots of life poking through to the light as I slipped.

What's fascinating to me, though, is that growth is already there, even when unseen. As I look out over our fluffy white yard, it's secretly filtering rays of energy through to what's awakening underneath. Colder than a glass block room, but similar in principle; the snow shelters and protects those tender plants until it's warm enough for them to be out on their own. Slowly it seeps in, recharging the soil as it disappears, then flowing up through the roots to help those tender shoots stand tall.

So long, snow. I'll kind of miss you. We loved sledding down you in hills piled high. Our dog thoroughly enjoyed your seemingly unlimited supply of unflavored slushies. We'll catch you again next year.

And, welcome spring! You're not quite here yet, but I can see you making your way towards us from a distance. It's been too long since we've seen each other and I cannot hardly wait until you arrive.

-rg-

Nerdy Bible Woman Seeks Other #NerdyBibleWomen

2013-03-13T17:09:00.001-05:00

This is going to be a quick stream of consciousness post, because I'm off in a bit to mentor little girls in hopes God will mold them into future missions leaders.

And right from the onset, I'm not wanting to shame or criticize. I'm wanting to spur on another to good works, okay? In a grace-filled redemptive way.

And yes, I realize that it's a delusion of grandeur that little old me could accomplish such a task or that my post would even be noticed. But so be it, I need to say what's on my mind and then I can move on...

Here is the little twittery conversation that started my thoughts:

https://twitter.com/RamonaGcrew/status/311951138880647168

I'm not privy to the demographics that Logos uses, but I get that it makes sense to market their software to pastors. I get that possibly the majority of pastors are male.

But... how many pastors' wives out there love to dabble with their husband's Bible study software? How many Christian women buy it for their own studies? And I'm not talking about reading Amish Fiction on Vyrso (though if that's your thing, more power to you, okay? Again, I'm not trying to ridicule or belittle anyone who is different than I am.)

I know that I'm not the only Bible nerd out there that loves to dig deep and really wrap her brain around scripture and more importantly, its application to change our lives. The beauty of Logos has always been that you can use it to prepare a study, because it's so easy to copy and paste a quote without having to retype it. That the books are searchable and easier to study as well.

So.... for the nerdy girls out there... who are the must reads for people like me? If you could open up a section of Logos with women authors, whom might you include? I'm thinking of women who are scholars and deep thinkers, yet they are great at connecting with their readers as well.

I've got a short list that's just off the top of my head...

Beth Moore
Ann Voskamp
Margaret Feinberg
Mary Jo Sharp

And then there are a few women, whom I might not always agree with, but they always make me think:
Sarah Bessey (book forthcoming)
Rachel Held Evans

Other Bloggers that dig deep:
Sharon Hodde Miller
Her.meneutics

I know I've barely scratched the surface...

Snow Proofing a Bird Feeder...

2013-02-08T09:14:00.001-06:00

"Oh, I didn't think about that. Crud!" -- said I to the dude when he'd mentioned last month that the new "squirrel proof" bird feeder I'd bought for our cardinals had an overlooked flaw:

Yup! No roof.

Didn't even think about it, which led to an amusing conversation between him and me.

Surely enough, when the next dusting of snow came along, I found myself chipping away at the ice with a stick.

I didn't dare carry an ice pick outside, for fear of slipping on said ice and accidentally stabbing myself. (I can almost imagine the poem on my tombstone now...)

So anyway, I got a squirrel baffle to use as an umbrella for the feeder. (Notice how I said nothing about the baffle deterring actual squirrels? As with most deterrents, baffles are not all that baffling to squirrels. Personally, I think our dog jumping against the window and scaring the bejeebers out of them has more to do with the lack of squirrels swiping bird seed than the type of feeder I chose or any other products I've bought.)

So back to the baffle... As an umbrella, I can say it does make some difference, depending on the type of snowfall. It works pretty well if the snow is coming straight down. But if the snow is blowing? It's still better than nothing, I guess.


1st snowstorm -- hmmm...

2nd snowstorm -- it helped some!

After the first "post-baffle" snowfall, I couldn't punch through the snow like I'd done before. I had to put bird seed right on top (above the squirrel-proof mesh), and just let our dog do her thing -- stalking and terrifying the unwanted critters.

The second snowfall wasn't so bad. There was a lot more on the baffle than on the feeder, and some seed was still available to the birds.

This last picture is from yesterday (February 7th). Several inches of snow fell; and while there's still a layer of snow on the feeder, it could have been so much worse! Plus, it may be hard to tell from the photo, but the thicker snow is toward the edge of the feeder. I may be able to poke through some of the thinner stuff so that the birds can get to it again -- if I can find a stick in all that snow!

(Taken last night.)

Oh, and speaking of birds. I think at least some of them appreciated their little umbrella. We had medium to light snow falling all day, and birds like this dark-eyed junco were still coming up to the feeder to peck around underneath the shelter the new baffle provided. I wish it were better quality, but it is hard to take a photo through a window screen:

(It may not be visible here, but it was snowing lightly at the time.)

That reminds me... I have some other bird photos I need to post as well.

Next time!

-rg-

Go Daddy Was Not the Worst Offender

2013-02-04T10:22:00.002-06:00

First, let me say, I am so glad to have Miss Representation shining a light and mobilizing action regarding the hideous commercials that assault women every year during the Super Bowl. I am grateful they are standing up on behalf of me; and more importantly, my daughter. I stand in solidarity with them as well.

And yes, I would agree that in years' past the #godaddysexistpigs hashtag stuck to and stunk like the pigs they have been. My respect for Jillian Michaels also took a huge nose dive last year.

But this year? I'm not so sure.

Yes, I'm still ticked that so many believe the way to sell a product is to exploit women; and I would still agree that Go Daddy has probably been the worst offender in recent years.

However, for this year... I think we need to take a step back from ire like this and re-evaluate:

Screen Shot of Miss Representation tweet declaring GoDaddy as worst offender of the night.

Not to give the company a free pass, mind you. But I don't know... I'm tempted to affirm a step in the right direction, however baby of a step it was. (Please, hold your tomatoes and hear me out first.)

Even if not, to say they were this year's worst offender seems to me like we're in contrast letting some heinous advertisers off with a slap on the hand, or at least a flight somewhat under the radar.

Yes, I realize that people pretty much voted Go Daddy this designation with their hashtags on twitter. However, was it because of this year's ad? Or was it because people were loaded for bear in regards to what Go Daddy has done in the past?

I just feel like, "how to switch your domain" was last year's battle cry.

Let us please not lose sight of the way women were portrayed while:

Sleeping. (Glidan)
Eating a hamburger. (Carl's Junior)
Running on the beach (Fiat)

And how apparently women now come free with a new car???

As well, let's not forget.... There were some awesome commercials last night -- proof positive that creativity and audience connection can be superb when you stay out of the gutter. My faves:

God Made a Farmer (Dodge)
The Sweet Clydesdale Story (Budweiser)
Whispering Library Fight (Oreos)
Goat 4 Sale (Doritos)

Not sure if others would object, but I even thought the Toyota commercial with the genie granting wishes was pretty good.

There was a time when I and many others watched the Super Bowl just to see the commercials. Yes people, a time when we watched your stuff instead of avoiding it! Case in point, who will ever forget the cowboys herding cats?

I look forward to a day when we can turn the television on with our families again, and laugh together at the creativity. Until then, #notbuying it and often #notevenwatchingit.

-rg-

There's Always Six More Weeks in Wisconsin

2013-02-02T09:25:00.002-06:00

(A groundhog in our Wisconsin backyard.)

This is what Puxatawney Phil might look like in Texas, so long as we weren't in another drought. (Yes, if I were still living in Texas, it would already be early spring.)

I've now lived in two states where Phil's predictions are irrelevant!

Here are some of my thoughts about living in Wisconsin:

Original Six More Weeks ...(full post from last year)

Living in Wisconsin Means...

Resources for Disability Ministry

2013-01-07T13:49:00.002-06:00

For Ed Stetzer, here are some links from a website I once managed, and will manage again once I put it up on a new server. Until then:

Links & Networking

For Churches Reaching Out:

CCFH Ministries -- A foundation enhancing the lives of the disabled through direct service and training others. Find out how to earn your Certificate in Disability Ministry through a distance learning course they've developed in conjuction with Johnson Bible College in Knoxville, Tennessee. (Link Added 04-17-07)

NATHHAN article -- How Churches Can Support Families Living with Autism...PDD...other disabilities by Karla Akins, D.Ch.Ed. A pastor's wife and mother describes the hurt she felt at how her children were first treated at church, and then goes on to describe how she set up an accommodation program at that church. If you keep reading, she details the framework for the program.

Inclusion in Worship -- Originally an article posted on the Pathways Awareness Website, now expanded and moved to its own website -- InclusionInWorship.Org. The original article, if you can still find it, begins with one family's story of how their church ministered to them, and then lists some practical ideas for including autistic children in the worship service. (Link Updated 04-17-07)

Teaching the Learner with Autism -- An article by Robyne Batson of Shepherd Boy, a Christian organization that provides strategies for individuals with autism and related disabilities.

Through the Roof -- "making the Christian message accessible." A U.K.-based online ministry to equip churches special need ministry (including autism), train the disabled for leadership in the church, and provide fellowship for the disabled. Has helpful printable resources posted on their website.

Information on Autism for Religious Education Teachers -- Written by Charlotte Hawkins-Shepard for the United Methodist Church's General Board of Global Ministries. Lists the characteristics and behavior patterns in autism and gives suggestions for teaching students with autism.

Autism - NAMB.net -- The North American Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention has a section on disabilities awareness in their evangelism section. This is the direct link to the page on autism. Other disability categories are listed on the side menu to the left.

For General Disability Information:

Is Your Website Disability Accessible? -- Published by the "I Lift My Eyes" website. Gives some suggestions on how to make your website more user-friendly to the disabled community.

Faithability -- A website that encourage awareness and discussion on religion, disability and spirituality issues. Has a resource directory and a message board.

Joni and Friends -- Founded by Joni Eareckson Tada for equipping Christ-honoring churches worldwide to evangelize and disciple people affected by disability.

About a Squirrel-Proof Bird Feeder

2013-01-05T21:36:00.004-06:00

It's finally time for me to stop thinking about all the things I need to write about and just get back to writing!

Jill at the Birds and Blooms Blog recently posted a helpful article on attracting more birds to feeders, and I just had to de-lurk on my own blog to share some photos.

I have some bird pictures I'll post later, as I would love some help with identification; but first I want to share a photo of a new feeder I bought, and the conversation surrounding it:

Me: I found a platform feeder for cardinals that I think will actually keep out the squirrels.

Dude: Does it have anything on it to keep the snow out?

Me: Oh, I didn't think about that. Crud!

Dude: I'm sure it will be squirrel proof. It'll also be bird proof.

Me: Maybe a squirrel baffle above it would act like an umbrella?

as the Dude continues: The next snow will create an icy layer and the food will be really safe!

Me (looking at my son who is laughing): Why didn't you say anything when I was looking at it?

Son: I did. I said,"Come on mom, let's go!"

Here's the feeder, by the way. I do need to shake the seed down a bit more, as there is a second layer of wire mesh that the seed should sit below:


Squirrel-proof platform bird feeder? Time will tell!

-rg-

The Summer When Texas Visits Wisconsin

2012-07-18T15:47:00.000-05:00

Green grass & wildflowers growing on a sandy Texas prairie.

It's greener in Texas this year than it is in southeastern Wisconsin.

Remember Texas? We were just reading last summer about how awful the drought was and praying for victims of wildfires.

Well, it's rained in Texas since then. It's rained a lot!

Even in sandy areas of the state, the deer can be seen grazing among green grass...

But not so much here in Wisconsin.

We were in a snow drought in our part of the state this year, so we were already behind on moisture when spring began.

The subsequent lack of rain has especially taken its toll. The only life left in the grass is in areas under trees. You can easily tell the areas of the yard that receive full sun and those that get shade relief:

This year, it feels like we moved back to Texas and had only visited Wisconsin!

But in amongst the dormant grass, a few gems emerge. Plants I didn't know existed because they're always getting mowed down before they bloom:

Black-eyed Susans(?) growing in our dormant lawn this summer.

I was told that a previous owner of our property had a patch of wildflowers in the front yard. Occasionally I find a remnant of that patch, but it was overtaken by invasive plants before we moved in. Efforts in the past to let part of it grow "just to see" have ended up less than glamorous.

But, this may be the year I get to rescue those remnants and move them to better locations.

Our grass hasn't been mowed since early June. If the drought continues, there are a few other wildflowers in that area that may also start blooming.

A galliardia recently in bloom.

Some of them may be annuals, but I'm hoping they'll re-seed readily in their new venues. If they're perennials, they'll be tougher to move without killing them.

After I've said all this, please know that I do hurt for those bearing the brunt of this natural disaster and am not trying to minimize their struggle. I'll be happy for this drought to end, and I am very sorry for the suffering many farmers and ranchers are going through right now. Not meaning to minimize their struggles...

Editing to link up with Wildflower Wednesday over at Clay and Limestone, who has a neat post up this month about Joe Pye, and also to celebrate that we received 2 inches of rain this week!

When the Real Hindrance is in Thinking Something is a Hindrance

2012-04-25T08:43:00.000-05:00

I spoke at a women's retreat over the weekend. Funny that after all this time, I was asked to do so. (More on that later.)

I was happy to speak, because they wanted to hear my personal testimony and about the pure water ministry I represent. "Easy peasy," I thought. I had a speech outline already prepared and perfected from a previous event, and my testimony? Piece of cake. The theme of the retreat was "unhindered", so somehow I would work that in.

I then spent the next three months looking for that well-written and transitioned outline in my spare time. I prayed to God asking for mercy and favor in finding it, but to no avail. When that failed me, I tried in vain to reconstruct it from memory.

Two weeks ago, it finally dawned on me that perhaps God didn't want me to deliver my well-polished speech. Maybe God was purposely keeping it from me because He wanted something new.

Okay then, let's do something new.

And then I got sick -- shivering uncontrollably with fever and certainly not able to function for several days. Plus, a field trip I had coordinated for a group I work with was moved to the week of the retreat instead of the month after. And in between time someone's father died, so the dude was off preparing for the funeral and ministering to the family, while I was alone with kids who were cranky from all the rain. They either needed me to read with them or needed me to keep them from antagonizing each other. And the list goes on...

So a thought occurred that often comes to me at times like that... "God, why is this so hard?" For years I wanted to speak at women's retreats. For years I felt confident and able. "I don't anymore, so why now? And if You want me to speak now, why aren't You smoothing the way for me?"

In a moment of divine lucidity I realized that maybe God had a purpose in even this. Maybe doing what people need me to do is the preparation for what I am to say.

So I went with it.

I refused to yell at my children and demand my quiet, uninterrupted prep time. I calmly redirected their attention off each other and into healthier pursuits, again and again. I washed the dishes that nobody else had time to wash when I was sick. I set out clothes the kids could wear to the funeral so the dude wouldn't have additional stress with me not there.

I read every book needing read and listened to every book needing listened to. I had every conversation that needed had in an unhurried fashion. And tired as we were at the end of a long day, we read our Bible devotional, lingering there with Mary and ignoring the screams of Martha. Right then and there I could teach with my actions that we don't put God aside when we're busy.

And that's when it hit me.

I look at too many things as hindrances; when really, they're holy moments. I'm standing on holy ground right here, where Jesus says what I do unto the least of these I do unto Him. This is my act of worship.

Getting away is good sometimes, but I don't need to get away by myself to concentrate when He's speaking to me right here, right now, right in the middle of it all -- telling me to be still and know that He is God, and to quit worrying about writing out a message when the message is right in front of me.

After everyone was asleep, it took me 5-10 minutes tops to type out notes for everything I needed to include in the message.

I realized that when I ask, "God, why is this happening?" I'm asking the wrong question. Instead I need to ask, "Ramona, why might this be happening? What is God saying through all of this? How does God want to transform me through all of this?"

And the best part of all? That message resonated with people, despite my lack of a polished presentation. No, not quite, let's try that again... Because of my unpolished presentation, people could hear from God instead, and I could give Him all the glory instead.

And my original notes? I found them Friday morning as I was packing to leave! I'll probably never use them again.

-rg-

Welcome to the Blog Where I Write Again!

2012-04-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

So about me...

I'm a pastor's wife. And I've recently launched a blog to help other pastors' wives connect. You're welcome to join us (here's how).

I'm also mom to an autistic teenager and a dyslexic preteen. I haven't written much about them out of respect for their privacy. I really don't want them confronted at school by kids who stumble upon my blog and read about them online. But, you will find an occasional post from me about special need ministry and the like.

I write. More specifically. I used to write. Then I stopped, and now I'm writing again. And I giggle at unnecessary quotation marks! So hopefully that kind of sort of explains my title?

My favorite/more popular posts:

Finding Laura's Wisconsin Natives

Redemption in the Church Kitchen

Question, Belittle, Accuse

and other (unpopular, lol!) devotionals written for PW Connect, as well as an Ask a PW section over there that I'm trying to get moving. (Please submit a question!)

What I blog about here:

...and much more, I'm just getting (re-)started and would love to connect with others on this journey!

You can follow me on twitter and/or via RSS.

And if you're a pw, be sure to check out the pastor's wife page on facebook.

Redemption in the Church Kitchen

2012-04-12T12:50:00.000-05:00

He's a sweet, gentle older man.

He has sons from a failed marriage who spurn him, but every week he gets his second chance -- a Sunday school class full of kids who love him. He teaches them all the truths about God that he'd love to have taught his own children.

He's standing in the church kitchen now, subbing in for the usual Wednesday night person. He invites my son to join him. He shows him how to make lemonade for a large crowd, then together they taste it and deliberate whether it's okay to serve.

They share a special bond, my son and this guy. An understanding and camaraderie that only another person with dyslexia can fully comprehend. He encourages my son to work hard and to do well in school.

And my son encourages him. His questions, his curiosity, even his very presence in this man's life, all speak volumes. He matters. He is valued.

I get frustrated at times with church. I see the insanity of trying to solve problems in ways that have failed over and over again. I tire of running headlong into the inflexible. I get restless for our previous church, where people knew me and weren't afraid of allowing me to help with projects, using the gifts God has given me.

And then I look into the kitchen and I catch a glimpse. Yes, there is much beauty here. A tiny story of redemption. This is what church was meant to be.

We live many miles from home. My children rarely see their natural grandparents. But in Christ, God provides abundantly. And a man cut out of the lives of his own grandchildren, becomes a beloved grandparent after all.

³³ Jesus asked, "Who are my mother and my brothers?" ³⁴ Then he looked at those sitting around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers!" Mark 3:33-34, NCV

-rg-

(Linking up with the Saturday Evening Blog Post at ElizabethEsther.com)

What We Cook For Easter

2012-04-05T23:00:00.000-05:00

Repurposed from the (sparse) archives:

Ever since observing a passover ceremony at a previous church, our go-to Easter meal has been:

Passover Brisket
This is very tender because it's intensely marinated. I start preparing on Friday, then finish the rest of the steps on Saturday so that it's ready to heat up when we get home. If you can't find a butcher or market-trim brisket, or if the cost is too high, just get the regular packer trim brisket (which is much larger), cut off the thick end to freeze/cook later, and use the thin end instead.
*link to recipe I use*

Matzoh Ball Soup I don't have a recipe, but the first time we made this, we actually found a box at a Fiesta Supermarket with pre-measured ingredients. Since then, we've found a container of Matzo Meal (manufactured by Manischewitz) in the ethnic food aisle. There's a recipe on the back.

Not-So-Casserolish Green Beans
Grab an onion, veggie broth, 2 cans of green beans, and one can of carrots. Sautee' the onions in some of the broth until mostly clear; then add the rest of the broth, the drained veggies and a few spices like pepper, garlic powder, Mrs. Dash. Boil it for a little while. This can be thrown together as the brisket is heating up.

Homemade Bread (cheating w/bread machine). We set up the bread machine the night before and put in all the dry ingredients. Then in the morning, we add yeast and any wet ingredients and turn on the machine. If we time it right and nothing goes awry, we come home to warm, freshly-made bread.

I am fortunate that the pastor dude can cook, so he always helps me out.

So what are you cooking for Easter?

Also, this year, I'm in the mood to have a salad with olives in it. Any suggestions?

-rg-

Hat Tip Write It, Girl & A Few Shout Outs

2012-04-02T23:30:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure how I even stumbled upon Write It, Girl. I think it all started when a random tweet caught my eye that drew me into my first-ever tweet chat (@allume). I then started following some lovely women on twitter, when possibly another tweet caught my eye...

However it happened, I'm so grateful to have connected with such a fantastic community of women. For one thing, people are actually reading my blog from time to time! What a novel concept!

I have been so challenged and encouraged by what others have written this past month. I've even learned a thing or two about baseball stadiums, and of an architect who glorifies God in his designs. I've especially echoed the thoughts of Lisa, when she asked, Church, where are we? Yes, really, where are we?

But more importantly, I've found some neat women on the web with whom I will stay connected --Nikki, Tara, and Lindsey -- to name a few. And bless you Tereasa who encouraged me even when my writing was a bit disjointed and nonsensical.

We share so many of the same dreams, challenges and struggles. It's comforting to know that I'm so very *not* alone in anything.

I've also met another Wisconsinite or two. Yay!

On a blogging technical note, I've discovered that I love the Disqus commenting system and am installing it on my blog as well (it's importing and syncing right now). As I've been reading and commenting on more blogs than usual this last month, it has been so convenient to have the little notifier pop up that someone has replied to a comment I'd made.

It's also handy to log into the Disqus dashboard to see on which posts I've commented, so I can quickly find again those posts that really spoke to me.

But back to the topic at hand... I love, love, love the Write it, Girl directory. What a great idea that I'm going to use on my own blogging site for pastors' wives very soon. (Any pw's from write it, girl are welcome to join in.)

It was nice meeting everyone and I will definitely stay in touch with your blogs! Thank you to Stacey and Katie for putting this together. It's been a blast! Lord willing, I'll see some of you in October. If not, perhaps at a later conference, after we get my recent bout with appendicitis paid for!

What does it mean to you to be a Write It, Girl? I look forward to reading your responses.

-rg-

Beautiful Story of Autism and Faith...

2012-04-02T16:04:00.000-05:00

Posted in honor of my son with autism, and the faith we share. I originally read this story in April 2007, and have had it saved as a favorite bookmark all these years...

That hot Sunday in July, he seemed a little shocked that I actually showed. We walked together to his usual pew, on the right side, second row from the front—the spot he always takes at our temple. In the first 10 minutes, my brother introduced me to more people than I'd known him to befriend in his whole life. A young man with a kind face, but a body that wouldn't stop fidgeting, turned around and asked, "She your girlfriend?"

"This is my sister," Tim said with a smile I hadn't known existed....

Read the rest at lizgrossman.com

-rg-

Early Wisconsin Natives - Bloodroot

2012-03-30T15:35:00.000-05:00

"That urge, that need to see something in bloom after a long winter is unrelenting," I mused in a recent post about spring in Wisconsin, "and (imported) bulbs do provide an easy fix." Yes, the anticipation is high when Wisconsin finally comes into bloom after a long winter.

Certainly the "easy fix" of imported bulbs is fun. They can be planted in fall before the ground freezes, or they can easily be found in bloom at local stores each spring.

However, with a little homework and a reminder on the calendar to be ready and snatch them up quickly, there are early-blooming natives that will bring excitement to early spring as well.

I was on a hike last weekend when I ran into just such a discovery (pictured above). At first glance from a distance, it might look like a patch of Snowdrop bulbs that many people plant. But a closer look tells a different story...

Bloodroot (Sanguinaria canadensis)

Meet Bloodroot. The name is probably self-explanatory -- a red substance inside the root was used in years past to dye cloth and yarn. It could even be used to stain wood.

Bloodroot is a cheery little flower. With a yellow center, I wonder if this might have been the "buttercups" Laura Ingalls Wilder described long ago when she spoke of spring awakening in the Big Woods of Wisconsin.

Regardless, Bloodroot will spread out and form a nice little colony of blooms that eagerly herald the awakening of plant life to come.

A lonely Bloodroot found in my backyard

Last spring, I stumbled upon a lonely Bloodroot plant growing under one of my trees. A previous owner of our house was into all things natural and native, and occasionally I find a native plant relic from the time he cared for the property -- always a pleasant surprise.

Notice how the leaves are still wrapped around, hugging the stem? I flagged its location to protect if from future weeding efforts, and am hoping it will be in bloom again soon.

I've wondered if I should transplant it somewhere, since it has not spread out in its current location. But, I'd hate to accidentally kill the plant in the process.

I had planned to plant more Bloodroot this season, but finding it can be tricky. My only source right now is mail order, and quantities are limited.

It's already sold out for spring, thanks to my bout of appendicitis when early ordering opened up. I have my calendar marked to check back before the fall season push, which will probably begin in late summer. I don't want to miss out again.

Just like bulbs, Bloodroot can also be planted in fall. Its flowers will be anticipated all winter long, and eagerly sought for as spring comes into bloom.

It, too, will then provide an "easy fix" each year for that desperate need to find something in bloom as the snow blanket of a long winter finally melts away.

But, don't order until after I've ordered, okay? You don't want me to be disappointed by "sold out" notices again! I'd have to whine, and then you'd feel guilty!

-rg-

linked up with Wildflower Wednesday at a new blog I just found!

Question, Belittle, Accuse

2012-03-27T00:02:00.000-05:00

Shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.

If one tactic doesn't work. Maybe the next one will. And better yet, if we can get her to do this to herself. Oh, now that's just brilliant!

What are you doing here?

That was the question from David's oldest brother, Eliab. David had no business obeying his father, apparently. Ever step out in obedience to God and right into the face of opposition?

Or if you're like me, you don't even have to run into someone. Maybe the dialogue of attack comes from right inside your head.

"What am I doing here?"

"I have no business getting involved with this."

"I'm so out of my league."

those few sheep...

That's it. Taunt her with her insignificance. "With whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness?"

Remind her that so many other people are so much better qualified than she is. Shame her back into her little shell. Convince her she is destined for small things, and she needs to get back to them, pronto.

I know you...

No!

You don't know me. I don't even know myself half the time. Only God really knows me. And even if I am proud or insolent like you said, He will restore me gently. The accuser of the brethren will not disqualify me from anything.

God has indeed called me. The Author and Finisher of faith will complete the work He has begun in me.

And then David faced Goliath...

-rg-

(1 Samuel 17:28)

linked up for the first time with michelle, shanda, and jen.

the idea for infusing myself into this outline from betterwriter@allume

Is it Okay if I Hate Loud?

2012-03-23T00:30:00.000-05:00

I know that we all love to do loud really well, and I do love some things loud -- the loud laughter of children running and playing happily OUTSIDE or telling funny jokes, certainly.

But when I think of loud, I instinctively want to put fingers in my ears. I think of huge crowds at basketball games in indoor gyms where the noise can't escape and instead pulses through me. I think of groups of little girls who think screaming in enclosed buildings is fun. And I cringe, as I remember the daggers to my brain that every noise would make back in the days when I suffered migraines ever so often.

To me, loud usually equals pain.

But I've also been trained to hate loud. Having a young child with autism, I can't tell you how many times I wanted to yell at the guy who honked his horn on our street, or the one who startled my child and made him cry. (Can I mention that my child cried really LOUD?)

Can we do loud quietly?

Probably not. But I look forward to the day when I can be like an older lady whom I once saw long ago. She was sitting at a table watching these babies try to outdo each other with back and forth screams. And she was laughing.

Can I get to that point and still be able to hear the birds sing? I hope so!

-rg-

Clean Water Changes Everything #WorldWaterDay

2012-03-22T10:58:00.000-05:00

I'm not one who is moved to tears easily. I'm not easily swayed by emotional appeals. I prefer a balance between emotion and reason.

So when something makes me cry, I pay attention. Because very often, God speaks to me through my tears.

Such was the case 3 years ago, as I learned of children around the world who die nameless, because their parents feel hopeless. Children who would probably be alive today if they could just drink clean water and wash their hands.

I don't know the exact reasoning why these children get a number rather than a name. Maybe their parents can't bear to name them until it looks like they will survive after all, or maybe the expectation of tragedy has worn them to such a defensive place that it just feels safer to their heart...

We just can't even comprehend that. Can't even fathom what that must be like. Here, we give names to miscarried children because it brings us a measure of comfort. It's part of our grieving and healing process.

Clean water has changed us. We have an expectation of life, rather than of death.

Three years ago today, I was looking forward to a weekend training experience with (LWI) Living Water International. It was fantastic. I learned how to teach health and hygiene in underdeveloped countries.

But more importantly, I learned how to go beyond merely helping people -- empowering them instead to change their own communities. We learned how to be facilitators who listen to and work in partnership with the community.

LWI doesn't just go in to a community, dig a well, and leave. They teach the community how to take care of their well pump and how to repair it. They show them how to make a tippy tap so they can wash their hands without wasting water. They teach life-saving health and hygiene practices themselves, but they also train members of the community how to teach hygiene as well.

The community leaders set the tone for which problems are addressed and how they are addressed. And as a result, the community is permanently transformed.

This is not just making a difference for one starfish while all the other starfish on the beach wither and die. This is huge. Charities like LWI are making a real difference for so many.

Just this month, the United Nations announced that 2 billion people gained access to improved drinking water sources over the last decade. That's a lot of people, people!!!!

I left my training weekend fully intending to go myself. But, well, I ate a bad salad, and yada yada yada.... Someday I will, and I'm praying hard about when...

Until then, I give to LWI confidently, knowing that every $10 provides one person clean drinking water for life. For life!!!

You may not be able to go either right now. But you, too, can still make a difference.

I'm taking the clean water challenge. You can, too! Find out how...

-rg-

p.s. Are you taking the challenge or do you have a favorite charity? I'd love to hear about it!

Finding Laura's Wisconsin Natives

2012-03-20T00:00:00.000-05:00

Wild Violets

After the sugar snow had gone, spring came. Birds sang in the leafing hazel bushes along the crooked rail fence. The grass grew green again and the woods were full of wild flowers. Buttercups and violets, thimble flowers and tiny starry grassflowers were everywhere...

-- Laura Ingalls Wilder, Little House in the Big Woods

I still remember the excitement I felt during my first spring in Wisconsin. As the snow slowly began to release its grip on the landscape, I was delighted to discover that many plants had already begun their emergence from the semi-frozen ground -- long before the white blanket had begun melting away.

First to appear were the snowdrops, though for a week or so I had misidentified them as crocus plants...

Snowdrops

The daffodils and tulips weren't far behind...

Daffodils

Tulips

I still remember the fun and anticipation of stumbling upon new growth poking its way out into the brightening days and warming air. I enlisted family and friends, new and old, to help me guess what each new discovery would eventually turn out to be.

It might not have been THE Long Winter that Wilder wrote about all those years ago in their later home of South Dakota, but it had been A long winter for this Texas girl who had never before seen more than an inch or two of snow.

Solomon's Seal

But what really excited me, more than the emerging bulbs, were the native wildflowers I would later find peppering the grass or hiding here and there. The violets (pictured at top) were scattered all throughout the yard -- lavender, yellow, and white with a purplish blush. I dug up several clumps and planted them in the flower beds near the house.

Yellow Violet

I quickly identified Solomon's Seal growing underneath a small grove of trees, and marked it as off-limits to any weeding efforts by the dude.

Purple Coneflower

He was already on high alert, because a lone Purple Coneflower had been spotted and flagged in that area by me the previous autumn.

I am a native plant nut.

When I learned that we would be moving to Wisconsin for sure, one of the first things I did was to order a book about my new state's native plants. I had begrudgingly adopted native plants in my Texas landscape (as few other things would survive), and had since grown to love them. I looked forward to loving new native flowers, and to embracing northern cousins of familiar southern plants.

But that's been tougher than I expected.

Native plant nurseries are harder to find up here. I once, after weeks of searching, read in the paper about a lady from a local nursery who'd recently spoken about the importance of planting natives. I eagerly visited her nursery the next day, only to be disappointed by the measly selection of natives in her vast greenhouses.

Wisconsin springs are no longer dotted with buttercups, thimble flowers and tiny starry grassflowers. (I'm still trying to figure out exactly which plants Laura Ingalls Wilder was probably referring to.) My yard is one of the few still decorated throughout with the lovely little violets.

Unlike the roadsides of Texas -- proudly teaming with native wildflowers for miles on end, the Wisconsin highways are plagued with Chicory, Queen Anne's Lace, an ugly type of Daylily, Dame's Rocket, and other invasive, habitat-destroying weeds. With the exception of the scraggly Daylily, most are pleasant looking plants, until you find out they're the bad guys.

(Some of the good guys are even hard to tell from the bad guys: Read here for more details on telling Dame's Rocket apart from Native Phlox.)

It's not that Texans are more environmentally-conscious of their own accord. The Texas climate is just not nearly as welcoming to as many invasive flowers. (I also know of at least one popular Texas nursery that even today sells wildflower mixes nationwide with the very plants Wisconsin is trying so hard to get rid of.)

I think it's also that we're spoiled here in Wisconsin. The rains come so often that the need for natives doesn't seem as pressing.

Hosta

Hostas are the plants of choice here.

It's funny, I tried hard to grow Hostas in Texas many years ago, after seeing them featured in Southern Living magazine of all places. But apparently Texas is too southern even for a magazine about the South! Now that I can grow them all these years later, I don't really want to. I've kept the two that first greeted me in my Wisconsin back yard, but I doubt I'll ever add to the collection.

Tulips

The bulbs that everyone else grows are a different story. They're much harder to resist. That urge, that need to see something in bloom after a long winter is unrelenting, and bulbs do provide an easy fix. I doubt I'll ever rid my patch of the world of every bulb that graces spring.

But, I will not give up my quest to decorate my landscape with the lovely native wildflowers seen long ago by a little girl in the big woods of Wisconsin. I've been known to drive 4 hours round trip to find a nursery that sells them, just so that I could see them in person.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure I need a crooked rail fence now, too!

-rg-

Saying Goodbye to a New Old Friend

2012-03-16T10:17:00.002-05:00

at VBS Silly Hat Day

We're currently in a church that had weathered quite a few storms in the last decade before we joined. Many people in the know shake their heads that the church even survived without falling apart.

This week, we buried one of the reasons it all held together.

Meet our glue. At 92, she taught children's Sunday school up until the week she died of congestive heart failure -- teaching children on Sunday morning, meeting Jesus face to face on Tuesday morning.

But even more fascinating to me is this: From time to time she'd convince another lady in our church to come pray with her over every window and every seat in our building. They'd take a cotton ball and some olive oil and pray for God's Holy Spirit to fill and bless the person who would sit in that seat.

She'd take the sanctuary and the other lady would take the educational building. She'd be out of breath and smiling when she was done. It didn't matter that she was old. It didn't matter that she was ill. What mattered was that she prayed hard.

I've been amazed since we joined at just how resilient and loving and tightly knit our church family is. But it wasn't until her funeral that I learned what all was done by a single person to help hold the church together all these years, and whose prayers unlocked the anointing that's helped them to shine.

Oh how we'll miss you, sweet friend.