Ram's Realizations

Perfect Imperfections

2026-01-06T23:28:08.707+05:30

People are appreciative of you only as long as the delta between them and yourself seems attainable.

This is the delicate balance of Social Comparison Theory: as long as the gap inspires "benign envy," they applaud.

But once the delta becomes too steep for their belief systems to agree that they can ever reach your level, that admiration curdles into "malicious envy." They stop being appreciative because your excellence no longer feels like inspiration ,it feels like an insult.

Think of it as a conversational expert. At first, the fact that they consistently come up with a brilliant comeback is impressive. But eventually, that relentless optimization pushes them into the Uncanny Valley of social interaction.

I observe a lot of trained professionals . Like over-trained air hostesses or business owners performing a script of "warmth," the absence of friction starts to feel robotic. Beyond a certain point, that optimized niceness is called out as fake.

Being genuine, therefore, requires a glitch in the matrix. It feels human to have errors it prevents the hierarchy from becoming alienating.

This is the Pratfall Effect: we trust and like competent people more when they stumble. Hence, sometimes forced mistakes are good. They are structural necessities. They stop the individual from overriding the group. They keep the "superhuman" within the realm of the collective intelligence.

Consider the KLM air hostess. She was a master of Emotional Labor, engaging in high-level deep acting. She made me laugh. She made me feel she was listening. But then I saw her replicate that exact intimacy with everyone else. It was Industrialized Empathy, and the moment I realized my experience wasn't unique, the connection shattered. I don’t like her now because the value of her attention was diluted by its ubiquity.

When intimacy is mass produced it loses its value .

This leads to the paradox of Particularism versus Universalism.

Would I have liked it if that warmth was exclusive to me? Probably.

Do you wish everyone long meaningful messages on the group ?

If I am nice to everyone, do I devalue the currency of my affection for my close ones?

If everyone gets the "VIP treatment," does the treatment lose its meaning?

Too many questions, but perhaps only one answer:

True value is found in the Wabi-Sabi of existence the acceptance that beauty is found in the incomplete and the imperfect. We are not meant to be seamless. A cracked vase is hence worth more.

The error is not a failure of the system , it is the art.
To be deeply loved, you must risk being deeply disliked.

Haters serve a crucial structural function: They define the tribe.

When someone attacks you usually because that "delta" of skill or beauty has triggered their insecurity it forces the people who love you to pick a side. Passive appreciation is not enough anymore. They must now defend you.

So, let the delta be steep. Let the envy curdle into hate for some.

The hate is just the shadow cast by the intensity of the light you are projecting.

You cannot have one without the other.

Be Imperfectly Perfect .

Atrophy : Holding on and Letting Go.

2016-01-12T17:47:00.002+05:30

You know whats common in Male Nipples, Ear Lobes, Tonsils ,Appendix and Wisdom Teeth?
You don't need them and you still carry them any way. Does their presence hurt ? or does their absence ?

Over the course of a few thousand years the human body has made a lot of changes to itself and some of organs much like our tail bone our ear lobes are now redundant parts of the body that once upon a time in the evolutionary process had a very important role to play. Since we don't use it, the body decided to lose it. May be not completely.

To explain more clearly there's a phenomenon I was blown away by. It's called the Vaginal Atrophy. The Vaginal walls of Post Menopausal Women become thinner due to falling estrogen levels. The body realizes that the breasts and the vagina have no more roles to play and functional biological need to maintain is now gone. Hence slowly the entire system is shutdown. How intelligent is that!

We've seen this in the Gym as well. A long break and the Muscles Disappear
What you don't use, you lose. It simply degenerates. That's Atrophy.

I sat down to think about the other aspects in life that could be atrophied to something that is no longer useful.

There are a couple of lessons from atrophy as I see it,

At a hardware (Physical) level we are better wired to adapt to difficulties and injuries than at a software (mental) level. Our hardwares know which parts become obsolete and the body learns to function without them. However at the software level we are yet to learn which emotions and memories are to be let go and let be atrophied and which ones are worth being worked towards and held on to.

There's a whole deal written on the web about Muscle Atrophy. I.e. losing the muscles u don't use. While that did get me thinking to get back to the gym or some sport to start using them , I also thought about other aspects of life where I seem to be losing it. I.e. The thin line that connects the Software to the Hardware.

1. Memory :
I no longer put in an effort to remember songs ,movie dialogues , jokes nor cellphone numbers, in some cases I forget names of people I meet at events. The parts of the brain that once were regularly used to memorize answers and numbers of those girlfriends you had to call from the landline have now been in Hibernation. Our body now has an external Brain .I.e. A Mobile Phone . I swear to reduce my dependency on it. While using it to my benefit.

2. Creativity :
I last wrote a song 6 years ago. and now when I think of it I cant imagine I could even write song. I wonder where did the thought come from and how do I come up with a thought that would translate into a poem or a song. I haven't been using the creativity muscle much .and like they say just like it takes a while for the muscles to show up . You cant expect to write poem and songs just in a flash. It does take a while for the brain to get used to that kinda thought process. I'm gonna start taking my rhymes and raps more seriously.I should write one song this year. Ditto for Sketching and Painting.

Thanks to my wife, all the kids and ladies I meet. I do remember my Origami, else that would have been another forgotten creative aspect of me.

3. Relationships : Never thought relationships could be Atrophied as well.
It could be Clients ,Family or Friends. While you think you are connected. You aren't. Facebook creates an illusion of you being connected to the people. In fact the regular available updates just distances the need to speak to that person. At times I'm lucky I don't have my Grandma on Facebook. That helps me give her that occasional Phone call.

I'm gonna meet old Pals. Discuss ideas. Exchange opinions over the real world. Without regular connect the relationship becomes equivalent to a stranger with a smile. Been there smiled that.

The universe is Binary .Things either grow stronger or weaker. Either Grow or you Shrink , You climb or you Slide, You Swim or You Sink. Not doing something is doing something towards the degenerative process of your Ideas, The Universe has no Plateaus . Those who are up there are there because they are constantly working towards something.

I'm talking two Important concepts here. Letting Go and Re-Building what seemed to be lost.
Your life has got a way to go around things it loses. It could be an important person in your life or may be a job position and much like an extracted tooth, it lets the Gums remain .. without any effect to you. Does take a while to heal though.

Sometimes we hold on to things even after we lose it. Thinking life wouldn't be able to move ahead without it. Life Finds a way to make organs ,things and relationships atrophied. Choose which ones u need and let the others go.I'm gonna choose who I spend my time with more constructively .

While I'm gonna make time to find shapes in the clouds. Draw Cartoons or Paint and Stick them up on my bedroom wall for Myself to see. I'm gonna remember to remember what's and who's important and not be lost in course of time. Shall nurture those relationships Constructively. The one that I don't find adding value , I'm gonna let go till their presence or absence makes no impact on me.

We are all gonna lose everything we have , what we have to decide is whats worth holding on longer to and whats not.
Choose wisely .Happy new year.

Why Stress is Awesome!

2015-08-16T17:28:00.000+05:30

Welcome Back Sapiosexual Readers. I Recently Discovered this word and I like what it means . Its been a long time since I wrote here on my Blog and I Realize how directly that has impacted how much selective reading I do. So before you ask me when's the Next time I'm gonna write again ?, Its gonna be by next weekend.

On 16th September ,2010 I wrote a post on Wh y Pain is Necessary, That post has changed my life and attitude towards pain in any form. Off late I have been thinking my stress levels have been going high and I found enough reasons for why I thought I am stressed out, there's so much (negative ) written about stress. ( In fact I hate it when they make a Villain out of anything for some Reasons) and I have a couple of beliefs to look at any thing/person/incident.

1. There's always another way to Look at Everything.

2. Anything (Only) in Excess is Bad for you. Corollary : A Little of Everything is Good for you.

Considering the above I made some startling discoveries about the commonly misunderstandings about Stress . Is there a good Part to it? Hell YEAH! Am I gonna Share it with you ? OF COURSE YES!.

Finding Ways to Know You're Stressed.

The Belief of What Stress Does to You is more Harmful than Stress Itself.

Cant believe me? Watch Kelly McGonigal's :How to Make your Stress your Friend . But Wait , Do come back here because that's not the only thing I'm talking about . Now for those who really can't wait to know and think spending 14:25 Mins over that video could cut into your face-booking schedule.. Alright here's is what It Says in her words :

"This study tracked 30,000 adults in the United States for eight years, and they started by asking people, "How much stress have you experienced in the last year?" They also asked, "Do you believe that stress is harmful for your health?" And then they used public death records to find out who died.

Okay. Some bad news first. People who experienced a lot of stress in the previous year had a 43 percent increased risk of dying. But that was only true for the people who also believed that stress is harmful for your health. (Laughter) People who experienced a lot of stress but did not view stress as harmful were no more likely to die. In fact, they had the lowest risk of dying of anyone in the study, including people who had relatively little stress."

According to McGonigal, the first study found that over 20,000 adults in the USA people die a year because of, not stress, but believing that stress is harmful.

Stress releases a Number of Hormones Which Help your Body in being Prepared for the Event.

The Image beside talks about the Physical reactions in the body

They call it the Fight or Flight or Freeze Mode. The more you are exposed to such situations the body will adapt and make you ready to face. Appreciate the subtle changes stress brings to your body and Fight back instead of making Stress the Demon.
So when your Profs/ Bosses / Wild Animals /Clients/Laymen Scream at you : You choose to do one of the Three options..
Fight Back with something to say or Throw a punch.
Run Away from the Situation.
Freeze Right There.

Ever Wondered why when we are asked for sudden answers by the Profs/ Bosses /Clients you freeze and cant bloody remember?
Excessive Cortisol Impairs your Memory.If being stressed out is usual for you, you could start to realize what it is doing to your memory.

Imagine if your Brain was Jarvis ( the AI of IronMan) How would it look at stress if you were a machine ?

"Stress is a Feedback Mechanism Sir.
This is another rare experience we are about to have. Lets Fight this one out. Once Dealt with the Body wont look at this the same way. Releasing Necessary Chemicals in your Body. All the best to you. Powering up . "
Now go Fight that shit out ! Stop Believing Stress is Harmful!

Cortisol is one of the Main Chemicals released in the Event of the Release and is also commonly called. As the Stress Hormone. Before we come into the Awesomeness of Cortisol, Id like to introduce to you the Girly hormone you got ( Yes including you men ) Oxytocin - also called Love /Cuddle Hormone .

Oxytocin is Pumped out as a response to Stress and when it is out in your body, you crave Physical contact with Friends and Family ( Okay this also applies to your Girl/Boyfriend as well ;) ) Meaning When life is difficult, your stress response wants you to be surrounded by people who care about you. Meaning this Hormone makes your more socially interactive. Helps you Enhance Emphathy.
Ie. Brings out the Cute side in you.

Also Oxytocin as a chemical acts as an anti Inflammatory , relaxes blood vessels and the best part.. helps the heart heal from Stress Damage ( Now you know why Break ups Make you crave.. Ahem! Ahem! )

Coming back to Cortisol Around last week I came across another Talk by Daniel Goleman .Yes the Author of FOCUS and EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. For those who dont know , Dont let the size of his books scare you. read them anyway. and yes the Thoughts may seem complex at first , But you will know as the wise man unfolds his understandings to you slowly.

The above Graph is what Caught my attention . Let me give you another picture to explain if you get the brilliant thought behind this graph.

The Study Plotted the release of Cortisol in the Body and the effect on Performance.

The Peak or Optimal State is Right at the Center of the Bell Curve and is also known as the FLOW State. or the state of Peak Performance.

It is the State where you work effortlessly and are Motivated to Perform at highest levels that you are trained for. This is when you feel good about being in office for work related reasons.

This chart should help you determine where on the bell curve is your stress taking you and what you can do about it.

Boredom is a sign that you do not have any challenges. Fatigue means you've taken up more challenges than you think you can deliver. Nevertheless both can be managed optimally if you know what to do with the Cortisol behind it.

What do I experience if i am in the Peak Performance State? Very Good Question . Im sure each one of you reading this has experienced the below while working on a particular activity/Project.

1.Strong Concentration , Unmatched Automated Focus.

2.Distorted Sense of Time . When you are working on Something You love. You lose track of time. That's when you are in the state of Peak Performance or Flow.

3.Lack of Physical Needs. hunger and pain go for a swim when you are in Peak state.

4.Consciously Striking a balance between skill level and the challenge presented.

5.Ideas Flow .Alternatives come forth.Things seem Effortless.

Bottom Line :

Cortisol Secretion to Optimum Levels is Good for the Brain to reach peak performance State. Any lesser secretion and it could lead to Boredom and too much secretion could lead to Fatigue and Crashing phenomena. Secretion also has a direct relationship with the motivation levels of the individual . More on this in my next blog post on Attention Economics.

These Hormones ( Chemicals) are so so Interesting that one could comic book out of them. That Reminds me I have to watch Pixar's Inside Out Movie

So How do I Maintain the Cortisol Levels ?

1. Challenges are good. Take them up. Motivate yourself enough to be under positive pressure.Get out of Routine Stuff you do at work. Try doing what your Manager does , Pick up another region that you always dreaded to work for. The more you deal with it .. the better your state is to deal with bigger stuff.

2. Breathe..Deep. One of the Natural ways to Regulate Cortisol is to breathe deep. Physiologically the brain does what the body does and vice versa. So when Cortisol is secreted .. you breathe shallow.. consciously do the reverse ie. Breathing deep when you're stressed as hell and the secretions lower down. Ever heard Highly stressed people cant have a desire for sex? Cortisol is the Culprit. Just breathe deep and then you are good to go!

3. Other ways to Bring down Cortisol Levels are : An Awesome Playlist on your Music Player, Or hanging out with a funny Friend, Take a nap , Schedule a massage. If nothing else works, You Know which muscle to flex.

On a lighter note :

Here's is a list of Awesome Drugs our body makes on its own when its happy.. and secrets it whenever it feels it needs some dope. Shall Write about them Soon .

Happy Peak Performing .

Stay Tuned and Keep coming back to Rams Realizations.

Knowledge Courtesy :

Daniel Goleman and Kelly McGoingal (Must watch her Presentations)

Image Courtesy :

1.www.canstockphoto.com/illustration/stress.html

2.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight-or-flight_response

3.ironman.wikia.com/wiki/J.A.R.V.I.S

4.www.ulifeline.org/articles/450-good-stress-bad-stres

5.www.forbes.com/sites/.../2014/02/06/how-successful-people-stay-calm

6. https://in.pinterest.com/hedleyrocks247/50-s-housewife-humor/

7. Someone Sent me in an Email.

Sunk Costs : Live With It Or Leave Without It

2013-07-25T21:25:00.002+05:30

My last blog post was in June 2012. I would be lying if I said ' I don't have time to write'. But yes , my reading has gone down terribly.I realized I'm not realizing little things anymore ,I cant believe some of the stuff written on my blog were written by me. I last read Delivering Happiness by Tony Hseih in Jan 2013 .A cracker of a book for those who are self employed,owning a company or for the people employed in operations and logistics.Shall write about the book in one of my upcoming posts.

I have resolved to write more often , so in case I forget my resolution and abscond. Kindly Pull me back here.

We've got loads of economic theories around us. Many of them are applicable to common relationships and life patterns as well. One such amazing theory I came across during my research of why people continue to invest in a dying project. . IE. Breakups and Breakdowns . The best part was most of them knew it was coming and in retrospect they feel like an absolute fool for having invested so much time/money/energy (Synonyms for each other). Its called the Sunk Cost Fallacy .

Now when I mean project, it could be your Girlfriend/Boyfriend, Wife, A Music /Dance class you decided to take , A restaurant you went to , A new movie you are watching.

Below are a few examples I have observed that fit the theory well:

1.Continuing a job so as to make it look good on your resume or because you got it through campus interview and not many get it... Sticking around because the company has got a good brand name in the market and you have dumb profiles and you're on Facebook playing Farmville or watching mutual friends' albums, Whats apping and playing simulation games during office hours and you pick up nice decent salaries for the next 3 years.. accepting that single digit increment because you know deep inside you aren't worth a penny more for the amount of work you do! And when you are about to leave the company.. the magic spell is cast by the boss.. he shows you a Pinky Picture (Rosy is still okay,Pinky is shitty sweet talk , and besides pinky rhymes with picture) of how he had plans for making you the Deputy General Manager or a visit to an exhibition in Germany sponsored by the company , or the much awaited 30% hike and promotion if you worked doubly hard. In order to avail all of the above offers... you decide to stick around besides you've already given 3 years of your life to this company ,lets give another year and see if all that comes true... and boom there you fall a victim to this fallacy again.

2.Sticking around with a partner who sucks ( at the wrong things apparently ). I've got a couple of friends who have girlfriends and boyfriends that even they never believe they willingly proposed to them.Some Relationships Fail, they do get toxic at times. and I strongly suggest you to sit down and have a good conversation without blame games about whats going on with your partner. If you think you or she does not have the brains to solve stuff...Log out asap!

"Nahi yaar 8 saal se hum saath hai... Ab kaise..itna saal Baad kaise jaane du.."

"Thik hai , Jhel phir"

You are wasting your time... which you could use to find another partner who could be more compatible..with your OS .

3.Many of my Pharmaceutical Clients continue using a irrelevant equipment for their processes only because they paid a couple of lakhs for it... and although buying another one would save a lot of costs and improve efficiency .but they are so emotionally attached to their older equipment that they cant let her go and they will want to justify their purchase till the machine blasts or crashes down in the middle of production! They decide to keep and getting bad production instead. ( Silly egos I tell you)

Here's an excerpt from the conversation:

Ram : Sir my equipment costs 20 L only and you would be saving an annual sum of 6 Lakhs on your utilities that are wasted on your current equipment, power costs , labor, production times etc..

Client: But then what do I do with what I have now. I already bought this one for 16 L (' saste wala toothpaste dena' )

Ram: Sorry we don't have discounts on buy back of your old equipment.

Client: In that case. I can't afford 20 L as of now.

Ram: Nice meeting you sir .

4.Buying a Lousy Dress/Shirt (which at that time seemed beautiful) and wearing it only because you paid for it and cant imaging not wearing a dress that costed 2000 rupees.Many a times you want to squeeze back into that size only to be able to wear that so that the cost is justified, and then awaiting an appreciation for that dress ,only to prove to yourself it was all worth it. Damn! you could have bought another dress with the time,money and energy invested and looked fabulous immediately.

5.Eating because you shouldn't waste food or drinking because you shouldn't waste alcohol ( we'll I've been brought up to believe that .. and yea I still believe in the latter part) . Stuffing till you cant sleep ,causing discomfort , acidity due to extra eating and drinking are costlier than wasting that much. (Bhagwaan ji... and Mallya ji Maafi Chahta hoon). Money is gone the moment you pay for it. Point is do you wanna stick around trying to recover that .. hoping that the pizza would be nutritious or have more cheese in the last piece or the last peg left is gonna take you to Jupiter..Tabhi to Vasool hoga na.

Wasting food is bad of course but you are WAISTing it. ie. affecting you waist.Trust me you are doing more harm than good.

6.Continuing a course because you paid for it and for the certificate, although you know it is going to add no value..and hoping that some day it will really help ( Mumbai university Engineers please don't read this, Please finish your course) . . Stop wasting time and money and of course pocket money.. Quit your dance /Music classes if you aren't getting enough opportunities to perform . Quit that tuition if you feel the only reason you attend is to watch the girl from another school and your maths just wont improve.

7.Watching a Movie which is full of crap till the interval and you stick around because you paid a cool 300 bucks for the Red Box and more over buy popcorn for the latter half of the movie.. AC ka kharcha toh vasoolneka bhai.. ( This is applicable only if your girlfriend isn't seated next to you, If she is , its all worth it).

8.Holding on to a fallen stock hoping some day it would revive and make you Richard Branson.

Sell before you lose more money on it, and observe when and what to buy next. ( Brokers Please explain Stop Loss to all your clients when giving target prices)

9.Purposefully taking a Flight because you booked your flight tickets 3 months in advance and you would look like a fool if you didn't take that flight after having got it for so cheap..Point is " do you want to go now?"

And there are so many more... but I'll leave them for my future posts.

I'll wind this up with a Zen story of a Monk and His Raft..

There was once a monk who built a raft which helped him cross a river , a turbulent one. The monk knew the raft had saved his life. He decided to carry the raft with him forever. However during the climb to the mountain top to his monastery he realized there are no more rivers and the raft is only a liability rather than an asset that hes carrying on his back.. in fact causing more damage. He bids good bye to the raft and continues his journey to the top.

What are you carrying that you already paid for ??

What boring movie are you continuing to watch ??

What person are you being with ? The one you like to be with? or the one you committed years ago?

What Automobile are you holding on to being unhappy about??

What Course you are attending if you aren't going to pursue a career in it??

What Investments in loss are you holding on to??

What workplace are you working for?? Is looking good on the Resume Important?

Getting answers in your head??

Analyze the Pros and Cons of any decision keeping the cost factor aside. By cost it would mean what you have invested so far. Never let sunk costs get in between your decision making. It would help you make better decisions in life.

Keep coming back to Ram's Realizations.

When Help Harms

2012-06-23T01:26:00.000+05:30

We've all been in that place where your loved one /best friend/closest people are in deep trouble or dealing with depression and we assume it is your duty to help and stand up for them in their times of trouble ,which is true and considered a good characteristic of a human being. But like most things, too much of anything gets you the opposite result.

When you help beyond a certain point you fail to realize that in pulling someone out of their shit ..you have too shared their emotional baggage and gotten yourself deep into their shit and are suffering along with them and still empathizing with them.

I've always been a helpful person ,counseled a lot of people intentionally or unknowingly with whatever I knew and could. But today I realize.. there's a very thin line between offering to help and helping someone with so much involvement that they rather tell you that they want some time off. Its like you consider it your eternal purpose to help someone in need, but not learning when to stop leads to hazardous and toxic relationships . I've realized that my feeling good bout the feeling I get after helping someone is not as important as helping the person grow, and I'm still learning. (and you have to admit ...we all feel good after being useful to someone)

When we lend someone some support till the time they need it...it like a plaster helping a bone recover... but prolonged period of helping makes the bone actually weaker and life without the support seems impossible. with words of hope and empathy you never know you could be weakening someone or intruding too much in their personal sphere.I'm sure you're wondering why and how...

Here is a story I learnt way back in school,

'A biology teacher brought in the class a cocoon of a catterpillar which was about to break open. The teacher wanted the kids to realize the important concept of metamorphosis.cracks started to develop on the cucoon and the teacher left the class for a couple of minutes instructing them not to touch and just observe the incredible natural phenomena of the caterpillar transforming itself into a monarch butterfly.

while the teacher was out the students saw the butterfly struggle within the cucoon trying very hard to break it open and release itself into the world. the students emphatized with its condition and decided to help the butterfly by breaking open its cocoon enough for the butterfly to fly out.

As soon as the butterfly came out the children where over joyed but the teacher who had just returned back to the class knew what was coming next..

within a few moments the butterfly fell flat onto the floor and its wings stopped flapping.. in another minute there was no more movement .the butterfly couldn't fly anymore. The children empathized some more ..some even shed tears to see the non flying butterfly . that's when the teacher told them that they were responsible for the butterfly's inability to fly and that it will die soon.

The cocoon breaking process is one of the most important events in a butterflies life and no matter how painstaking it may seem to you it is necessary for the butterfly to gain strength enough to fly for the rest of its life '

We all have people who are completely dependent on us and we have some people on whom we are completely dependent upon.Take time to analyze what is actually happening... what you are calling a relationship may be just a pure state of dependency and that may be making you or them weaker.
By helping too much you become the clown that now scares instead of making the child laugh ,no matter how much you are purely trying to entertain.

We all have our own battles and we must fight them on our own..and we must also let others fight their own battles...

I admit its tough for you to just leave them to the natural learning process .be their support but dont let them grow on you. Its tough to see your loved one suffer to see them cry ...and you may feel guilty about not being able to offer proper help or advice. Its tough to see your kid fall, your loved one fail, your best friend lose their love , suffering from a breakup or suffering from office politics....

But those are the times the butterfly is breaking out into a new dawn and before your tears dry, they'll be up in the sunlight spreading their bright wings and dressed up in beautiful colors.

Do not deprive someone or even yourself of the natural falling process...and indulging too much into someone else's pain ain't making anything better .Its okay if you don't have words to say or if you don't feel like crying or nothing at all .Its okay if you cannot console someone...life has a way of its own..and time does definitely heal you ,them and everyone.

I've got another article on these lines... do read Pain is necessary

Do offer someone a helping hand...dont carry them on your back,do take help from someone but don't run a race on their track.

If you are in any kind of pain while you read this...remember you are just trying to break open the cocoon ..soon you'll complete your metamorphosis .
Have fun..fly high and keep coming back to Ram's realizations

Image courtsey: (Thank you so much for the images)
1.alcohol.addictionblog.org
2.abachelorspad.com

Two Minutes Before Heaven

2012-05-24T19:55:00.000+05:30

My neighbor came to my door and knocked with his weak hands and as I opened the door… he smiled with too much effort and though he couldn’t walk he came up to me and congratulated me for my new job…Amma had told him…and then he said.. “Mujhe Peda nai dia”(you did not give me sweets) and then he laughed and said im just joking…all the best for your job.

I realized that this man standing before me was my one time maths coach ..The very strict person that he was..I remembered how strong and well built he was and how all the children used to be scared of him..General Manager of a textile mill …successful & rich and a social person .I was filled with guilt because I hadn’t taken time to speak to him in years… and now I suddenly realized that he had grown very very old too soon..His face now suffers from partial paralysis, the once fit Sabnis uncle whose gait used to instill fear in people now walks baby steps so that he doesn’t fall ...he can’t hear like he used to… operated on the heart twice after 60. He loved talking about science and politics but no one would speak to him about all that now. Every day I used to watch him sitting by the window with a face that yearned for someone to stop by and speak to him.

I realized I hadn’t called my grandmother since long.. I called her up.. I told her Im coming to meet her and she mocked me for remembering her after long.. I said I'll make up for it and she said okay come soon..more importantly come safe…don’t ride the bike to fast..I reached and her smile was different ..I sat down with her and asked her how she was and how does she feel now..and what started with just another “im fine” flowed into a flood of varied emotions into words and I just sat there admiring the strength of the 74 year old old snow white haired , soft wrinkled skinned lady. I explained to her about my work profile in the most basic tamil that I could talk..And I could see her face filled with excitement as I told her about each process and she loved the fact that she could understand what I was doing… she felt proud about me and made me some coffee I hadn’t had in months before I left

Below is a poem written by and old, weak , lonely ( extremely powerful , learned , rich in the past ) man.This man used to be and still is a mentor to my friend and my guide hiren bhatt..Hiren called him up for a casual “ how are you doing?”And the man replied to him in a poem..

"Each morning I arise

Look at the blue skies

The paper is on the table

To read English I am able

I search my name in the obituary column

but my name is not there

My name is not there

means I am not dead

So i have a hearty Breakfast

and go back to bed"

I realized I have been taking them for granted…as if they’ll live as long as I do… I don’t know when il wake up and not have neighbor uncle sit on that window waving to me wen I leave for work.. or when my grandma would feel proud of me again..

One day there would be no more screaming from that man who stood at the second floor as we broke his glasses playing cricket…Its scary when you think this degree of loneliness, boredom and sadness could come to you some day … it would be you or your parents at the window yearning for someone one to talk to. Don’t waste time..don't take them for granted ..call them up …meet them ..tell them how much u love them and how beautiful they look …watch them blush and show u their old photographs, ask them if they need something and may be buy groceries for them…

We can always go late for a pizza party or a beer..and when they blabber wisdom you don’t need just nod ..shut up ,smile and lisn… coz u never know if these two minutes will come again…and when u mite need these two minutes when you are old.

The two minutes you give them could be their last and they could re-live their entire lives with you… Lets not make them feel they are alone and waiting to die… lets give them a reason to live, to talk to us..

No need to go to an old age home to feel good and make them feel good..we can start at home for starters .

IF YOU HAVE AN OLD GRANDPARENT /PARENT/ OLD NEIGHBOUR/TEACHER …call them or meet them if possible today and you will realize what this blog post is about.

Thanks for reading and keep coming back to Rams realizations

Image courtesy :
http://s3.amazonaws.com/convo-production/images/8425/huge.jpg?1302271969
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrkvIsF68_QUa5e1OAWBklMhNfmbYODjTn4uj_kkO71Fk13F0ck9C4u15yCtxPITd84WsBf35UvowENuPomWhyphenhyphenSaZegJPEjZ-UTk1yEP_c10x9N0gRq-1XCHNx6C8CU0-W4G-igzH7jtdx/s1600/loneliness.jpg
http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3052/3098622918_bd59b2e0b6.jpg
http://www.jimstrongphoto.com/files/images/Empty%20Chair.jpg

Biking Diaries :The Point of Action

2012-03-14T22:31:00.001+05:30

Good day fellow Realizer !

I must apologize for being off the blog-o-sphere for about 4 months now..I'll be lying if i say I was really busy..but yea I've been really busy thinking about loads of silly things (life ,career,blah blah)...and when you do that you realize that you aren't realizing anything.. and then I came across this quote by William Shakespeare

"There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so."

That quote ...followed by a hate mail (called ufff mail by her) from one of my readers...made me realize that it was high time I stop thinking and start realizing again! Its like when you are so sucked into doing what you have to ..you forget what you want to and I wanted to write since so long.

I ride about 70 odd kilometers everyday to my work place and back, and when I'm not silly racing with some other foolish brother or looking at some good looking female... (Trust me Traffic moves Suddenly slower when you have a nice looking female riding a scooter in the middle of the road... Most people then remember they have a side view mirror .The top view of the road seems some what like this)

<-----

yea where was I? ..biking makes me wonder if its teaching me a new lesson each day...and sometimes I wish I could records my thoughts as and when I feel like.

If there's one thing I've learnt most from my bike and what I believe separates good riders from the best...it is 'Decision making' .. the Point Of Action.

There are times ,like you see the diagram here where you either need to overtake through the left or through the right because you have a big big truck at the center of the road and you can barely see whats ahead and you go through the 'Moment of Confusion' and in the blink of a second (oh yea do read BLINk! by Malcom Gladwell ...awesome stuff) you make decision ,which decides how far and fast do u get to your destination !

That kinda explains how we make choices in our lives .We don't know what lies ahead but we still need to make one.

The faster you ride the quicker the decisions your need to come.... if if you wanna get ahead really fast..you must learn to make decisions really fast...

Its not always you make the right decision...At times we make wrong choices and end up getting stuck and stagnant and the car in front of you just wont go any faster...That's when you need to know ...that you need correction

once you realize having made a wrong one...

Brake down ! Decelerate ! and change route! else you mite bang in to some car and never get home!

For those who don't ride bikes and the above makes no sense to you:

I read about a curve some years ago called the Inflection curve... and today it makes more sense to me .. The point of inflection is the point at which the decisions are made ..There are many inflection points or Points of Action , as I call them ,in life and they shape our relationships, businesses and our future.

“Life is the sum of all your choices after all"

That's it for now..Make decisions and make them fast because I believe ..

"There are no good and bad decisions...only decisions you learn from and decisions that make you happy. "-Ram Santosh.

Thank yourself for all the choices you made in the past that has got you here today..its a nice feeling to realize you have come a long way.

Special message to all bikers: Ride to Commute not to Compete ..I've seen the best of riders and the best of their flesh....so ride safe ! cheers and keep coming back to Ram's Realizations.

Nothings Here To Stay

2011-11-08T00:22:00.000+05:30

I look at the sky and see a hundred stars smiling at me
telling me it wont really matter so much and to let it be
time shall mend d heart and the broken knee
don't die thinking about tomorrow ,live free

I look at the trees as they flow their leaves on me,

telling me they never knew how big they could be.

people talk about how big or small the shadows are,

leave behind their time changing perceptions n get far.

I look at the stray ,lying down at my feet,

telling me how not every day is one big treat.

stones are pelted n scars remain on the skin

but some one worthwhile heals the worldly sins.

So I look at myself in the mirror and say

what happened isn't forever ,just for today.

tomorrow shall be a brighter new day,

be it happiness or dismay ,it isn't here to stay.

The Best Route to Anywhere!

2011-10-31T17:16:00.000+05:30

My Apologies to all those who visit this blog often, for posting after a very long gap. Please let me know if the new look of the site is better or whether I should Restore Original Settings? ;)

The Puzzle has been solved ( Read the post to know what the Puzzle was ) I got a job.A good one at a Pharmaceutical Water purification Equipment company .I'm having fun with it.Travelling to Bangalore and Dahej in Gujrat has been an amazing experience I should be blogging some of the weird realizations that happened there and I really hope I blog again soon!

I started working from the 1st of August, 2011 .Before I could start going to work to Khopar Khairane ( Navi Mumbai ) which is about 36 Kms from Home (Goregaon).I asked a couple of people as to which could be the best way to reach there.

I got varied answers but interestingly each one of them was the BEST ROUTE :)

Person 1 : " The best way is by Train Goregaon to Dadar ,Dadar to Thane and Thane to Khopar khairane. You will reach in two hours and if you make a monthly pass that will be the cheapest and the best way to reach Kopar Khairane. Evenings could be a bit difficult to change trains but then you can take the First Class Pass and it will still be cheaper". (I nodded and said thanks)

Person 2 : " Man ! Khopar Khairane is far! Bike shall give u back pain and Trains shall fuck u up! you will be squeezed till your last drop..take my advice go to Goregaon East and Take the Air Conditioned Bus 525. It takes one and half hours to reach Kopar Khairane .You can travel from west to east by rick.Its fast ,value for money and the best part is you can sleep in the bus and then come out to meet us" (I nodded and said thanks)

Person 3 : " Bus is super costly and takes long, Trains will tire you .Take my advice and take your bike to work. you shall reach in one hour 15 mins flat.and please go via Jogeshwari Vikhroli Link Road (JVLR) there are no potholes " (I nodded and said thanks)

Person 4 : " Take your bike and go by Aarey Colony..its scenic and gives u fresh air.JVLR is full of traffic and signals. Aarey's the best way I can see" (I nodded and said thanks)

Person 5 :"You must be crazy to travel that far , Find a job close by or you'll lose your health and relationships eventually.
Are u sure u want to do this job?"
( I nodded and said thanks)

The Best Route could be :
1) The Fastest Route
2) The Most Scenic Route
3) The Shortest Route
4) The Least crowded Route
5) The Most Economical Route
6) The _______ Route (fill what you want)

I realized , There is no Best Route to Anywhere and Anything .Every route Gives and Takes away something from you. Its you who decide what you're willing to gain and lose.

People are there to advice you because they Either Love u or because they just Love to advice .

Take the advice that you know you would love to follow .

In fact I did what I love the most after asking all the above people :)
Because only you know what you love the most.

Life does give you a lot of choices but you filter them with your Interests , Likes and Dislikes.
Eventually just make sure the Route you choose is the Route you love and have fun with.

I now got a new Yamaha FZ-S and I ride my way to work everyday and So far I'm loving it.
Once it bores me ...I'll find a new way to love the route.

Take advice but don't take it seriously.Do what u think will make u happy today ,tomorrow and ten years from now.

Have a great day and keep coming back to Ram's Realizations!

The Far Away Illusion

2011-07-24T22:34:00.002+05:30

On a Sunday evening ,me and a couple of other friends had met at Ratish's place a.We were working on some script to be made into a movie.Within in no time all the actors turned up and we had to get multiple copies of the script for all the actors to rehearse a scene.After half n hour of deciding who will go to stationary shop and get the printouts I was chosen .

I left his house and it started raining and I was told that the Photocopy (xerox) shop was just a few blocks away.I had no vehicle and decided to walk.To my dissapointment it was a sunday and the store was closed..so did that mean I should go back ??
NO I had to get the work done...I thought.
I called up ratish again and asked him where else can I get it...and he mentioned a place that was about 15 minutes walk and I yelled back at him...called him nuts to ask me to walk that far for some printouts.and the rains were driving me crazy.I missed my bike which is now home and not keeping well .

Suddenly something struck me and I remembered a time...when we needed alcohol at nite and we walked the 'same distance' to get some beer from a bar that was close to the photocopy shop.Did I complain back then?? No prizes for guessing ...Hell no.

Why did the same distance generate different emotions in me??
Obviously my mind and the way it functions had a lot to do with the distance.

My sister takes one LONG hour to reach Churchgate to her college and at the same time..she takes JUST one hour to reach fashion street. (Same place )

After having traveled by road upto Leh - Ladakh and back (6000 Kms +) every road trip seems reachable in just a matter of days.But for most people Me traveling to my college from Goregaon to Airoli (32 kms) is madness.

There are no real distances...only Perceived ones.
"Perceived distances and efforts are indirectly proportional to Interest" -Ram Santosh
More the interest lesser the distance seems.So stop cursing the distances...it you who make it seem longer or harder to get.

How far you will go depends upon how(badly) much you want IT / HER/ HIM /THEM .
When you love what you do you loose track of time, the efforts put and distances traveled seem minuscule but when the interest fades that same effort ,that same time and that same distance seems like a lot.
A small paradigm shift can help you cut distances and keep interests alive.Its all about how far you want to make things seem.

Look closely ..both are same length...I still
felt the lower one longer!

Have nice day and keep coming back to Ram's Realizations :)

Image sources : Google

Another Wednesday

2011-07-14T10:41:00.002+05:30

Black Friday is now forgotten ..soon the Wednesdays will be forgotten too...

This is what they call the spirit of Mumbai.

This is where we begin...this is where we finish...it has been and will be for god knows how long. ~Ram Santosh

Love De-coded

2011-07-10T07:30:00.002+05:30

[In the following passage, by LOVE I mean the emotion of affection and attachment shared by a couple. i.e. a man and a woman. This has got nothing to do with world love...and kindness and compassion towards an animal, plant or a needy person]

We all have various definitions of what love is and what love means to us. Google love quotes and you shall get all what great people have said about love.For most of us it is a sum of all what you have perceived under the Label /Idea 'Love'...Experiences that are yours(visual or physical) or someone else's (word of mouth, visual or may be heard sounds next door).

Movies,music and novels have a big role to play in how we perceive love.

For some ,"this...yea this...what Gerard Butler does for Hillary Swank is love... (Movie PS I love you) "

Some feel "THIS....what happened between Salman Khan and Bhumika Chawla in Tere Naam is love"... (kya pickhar banaila hai Bantai )

Some feel whatever Shahrukh Khan does for Aishwariya rai in Mohabbatien or for Kajol in DDLJ is love...and we live all our lives hoping for fairy tales to happen to us...to make us believe what’s happening is love. .kya yehi pyaar hai....??

"Most of us get or don’t get love because of how we define love...change your definitions and you might be having it all around you, or may be not "
- Ram Santosh

The way I see it is...the word love is highly over rated...just like the words Commitment, Leadership and Talent What we think is love in the air or love at first sight is actually a very formulated match the column kind of scenario where everything fits in perfectly. I really feel love has got a flowchart to it. A pattern that it usually takes and makes u believe in the end that you are in love. I often hear people telling me (in order to sound good in that moment) that I fell in love looking at his character or her eyes and nothing else. Which I feel is to some extent wrong because the human brain analyzes in more than one attribute.

What you feel like 'Love' is actually the fulfillment of Four Criterion

1. Physical attributes (Physical aspects of the partner. includes eyes,smile,style ...guys here’s the stats part. .Girls I know there are some of you who are like "character is more important" hell yeah it is..how does the idea of marrying an nice ugly guy sound?)

2. Emotional support (yeah guys need it too....)This has to be the biggest criteria that has to fit in for love to work out.If you can't give it...there are others waiting to do show that they can ;)

3. Social support (how your partner presents in public ...specially in front of family and FRIENDS ).How your friends/family perceive your partner is the cause of most hook ups and break ups.

4. Innovation (you can’t buy him a t-shirt on all important days and you can’t get away with the same old chocolate cake and roses on all occasions )This criteria is applicable only when the partners have spend some time enough to call it an affair.

Without even one of the above parameters ,the emotion ' Love 'cannot be sustained for long.Most of break ups or fall outs happen because of lack of either of the above mentioned criteria by one of the partners or both of them.

Love in a way is a very selfish act by the human brain. For we only fall what WE consider is good.

When u like a man/woman what you actually do is connect their attributes to your mental image of your requirements and if the person fits in them...eureka... chemicals are released within the body, you are elated and think that he/she is the one
( e.g.: for boys : has a nice butt, dusky/fair , nice hair,talkative” ...for girls: tall, talented, humorous, wealthy)

It is not because the person is beautiful that you love him/her but it is because they fit in your...Yes YOUR definition of beauty...

How the person objectively is, is never seen.

We crib when they don't love us back(simply put ,when disagreements happen). But aren't you forgetting??...the person was YOUR choice....and slowly with time...YOUR mind starts making newer attributes and criteria for the partner to fit in and when that does not happen....boom bang...fight!

And then you might hear things like "I really miss the person I fell in love with you have changed so much"

Love is a weird thing to fall into ...but I agree its all worth the pain and pleasure.The above are my observations and I need not be right ;)

If there are any new realizations that u found and cannot be classified under any of the above four do let me know

PS: The above ramblings are just my perceptions on love...you can still hold back your fairy tales.

Image Sources: images.google.com,en.wikipedia.org

P-art of the Puzzle!

2011-06-24T00:24:00.001+05:30

I thank Jyot Rekhi ,Sujata Vedula and Saniya Hussain for asking me to write something new and more importantly Imran Mujawar and Akshay Jain for being there when this was discussed.

Part of Puzzle Ram santosh, source: tecdiary.com

Engineering is finally over and now its time for us to get jobs.Imran and I were discussing how to go about this job hunt because both of us are devoid of exceptional academic records.This conversation had been going on ever since the day exams ended.In the mean while I had to clean my table laden with books (I dunno how many I actually read) and my cupboard and clear some old books.I found a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle that I hadn't touched for years now.

I remembered how easy it was to first pick up the pieces with least number of interlocking sides.. and place them at the top and sides.Then you pick up the pieces which are the largest or most clearly visible or with similar colour patterns ,those that make sense to the eye and place them in the puzzle..Eventually I'd be left with some really complex pieces of the puzzle which are a bit difficult to understand .You don't know which is side up or side down u keep postponing them to place them in the end..they are generally the smallest but the toughest to place..They get ignored by us at the beginning because they aren't easily understood. But eventually you have to put them into the puzzle to complete the jigsaw and it is complete only after that tiny /complex/ignored piece has been placed and till then the puzzle is incomplete.

Ram Santosh-Part of puzzle,
source:ants-and-grasshoppers.blogspot.com

I met Imran in the afternoon and as we discussed about our attempts to get jobs again ,I thought may be we are ignored now, may be our credentials aren't understood,may be our academics are complex but they need us We complete the puzzle .Each one has a role to play and this thought assured us we will be working sometime ahead if not soon.We decided what to do with our resumes and where to post them and suddenly felt much better.

Part of the puzzle -Ram
Source:Vishalbharadwaj.com

Its been more than two months I wrote last and some very nice people have been asking me "What happened? no more writing?" and when I say "you follow my blog?" and they say " ever since u started".I was left behind with a smile..a smile that ran deeper than just my face.I sure smile always, but this one ,I felt as if i cant pull back my cheek muscles.Appreciation does make you feel alive and worthy.

No matter how you write ..how good/bad you are, how charming/boring you are..you are needed by lot of people, you are needed by the world .You form a part of their puzzle..and you complete them.However small and complex you may be,you sure have a place in the puzzle.

The world is a big puzzle and without you It ain't complete. You fit in somewhere.
Smile and have fun with life.
Wish me luck to find my puzzle soon ;)

Heartfelt thank you to all image sources...this post would have been dry if not for the perfect images

Screaming beyond Silence!

2011-04-07T20:44:00.002+05:30

Every movie or book we come across and is liked is because it has some deep correlation to the events of your life,some characters that resemble you or some characters that resemble the people you know closely. I watched the movie The King's Speech (true story of King George VI ) and this movie brought back memories of my childhood and my days as a teenager.If you have seen the movie you must have guessed already but for those who haven't ...yes I'm talking about the chronic stammering /stuttering that the king has to deal with.

No one learns to stutter when they learn to talk .It all starts due to some trigger event.I believe that stammering is more of a psychological problem that a medical one.My oldest memories of the problem that i recollect is when i was 5-6 years old and the elder boys that i played with made fun of it not knowing how much damage it is causing me.Its unfair to blame them as Hritik Roshan (a stammerer himself) says "it is one of those disabilities that is laughed at" and I believe it requires maturity and a proper understanding to realize that it is a problem ,which most young kids lack.

I dreaded going to the local store to buy bread or milk because the shopkeeper used to mock and repeat my words which sounded some what like Ba- Ba- Ba bread and Wa W w wafers. On couple of occasions the other customers just burst out laughing and i cried tears and went back running home.On one occasion a man tried to steal the 50 rupee note that i was holding in my hand for buying medicines and I couldn't even shout for help..words just wont come out..I came back home with the torn note which the fist of an 8 year old can hold.

Meeting people at public gatherings was always a pain as it required me to talk.to relatives.I avoided telephonic conversations because it made the listener impatient. School rapid reading sections were always pathetic and i wished the bell rang before my turn came in...when it didn't..I used to shift places with some other friends I had .
Omkar Shibad,Dhruv Mucchal,Aziz Bootwala,Vivek Changoiwala ,Umang Shukla ,Bhaswati Unni, Shruti Menon and Priyanka Pitti are some of the people who realized this discomfort and dared others not to laugh at me.I Thank them today.

Theres a difference between knowing the answers and answering them and I always chose not answering.Eating Samosa was much easier coz I couldnt ask for Wa wa wa wadapav unless the guy is looking at where I'm pointing.

The only times I did not stammer is when prayed or when I spoke to myself.

Time moved on I went to national college(considered to be one of the cool colleges as far as crowd is concerned) and while other boys were busy talking to girls I watched.Slowly and steadily by the beginning of engineering I spoke a bit and realized my views were appreciated and even needed by some.My mother has been my best friend and my coach..and I still remember the times I just couldn't stop stammering and her eyes would fill.

Today I want to thank all those people who suppressed their smiles while I spoke ..gave me time to complete my sentences and waited for my opinions on things.The only way to cure this is making their views felt needed and it requires more than just hearing ...do listen to them.

For any stammerer reading this remember a doctor or a coach can only teach you how to play the game ..but in the end its you who is on the playground . You alone can cure this .If you look inside and find reasons you'll get one strong reason which can bring out the never before side of yours waiting to be heard and cheered and scream beyond the silence and make it audible to everyone.

I know times have changed now..at times people wish I shut up and stop talking...but its been in there for all these years and now it feels good to hear myself out .Thank you for reading ..keep coming back to Ram's Realizations.

Click here for a list of stammerers....may be you'll find someone who you admired !

What Seems May Not Be What You Saw

2011-04-01T16:07:00.002+05:30

My sister Sanjana and me were travelling in a rickshaw one evening and we tried to be not fed up with the traffic around. We started a game .All we had to was choose a color and identify the number of objects you can see in that color. She first chose yellow and we looked around on either sides of the rickshaw and found many things like the other rickshaws,clothes, boards, helmets, bikes, etc...after a while I said red...and we started to identify red things around us. It included the signals , the cars, clothes ,the interiors of our rickshaw and so on...we then took the game forward beyond colors to find men with a beard...and women in burkhas ..

After a while a weird thing struck me and I asked her when u were identifying red things did u even look at the yellow objects? and she said "haila no" , "When you were spotting men with a beard did u care what the other men looked like? " and she said " not at all". I was in as much amazement as she was .We both tried to look at both yellow and red together and we could ,but this time we missed all the other colors..

There are so many important people and things we have in life that we ignore just because WE don't think they are important to us.May be we are missing out on wonderful opportunities of receiving something very colorful.We stay so much in our own definitions of the world that we choose to look at everything that is happening through our custom made Mental Spectacles...Whom you consider a good person may not be and whom you think is bad may be otherwise.

We scream and fight with our parents and our loved ones just because they don't fit in the definition that you coined for them...just because at times your love doesn't seem red to you , we argue and fight to make the picture seem red..not realizing what color love actually is..
Like they say changing the mirror wont make you look good , for once put you definitions down of good and bad and talk to someone without prior notions...the feeling is beautiful.Some one whom I considered dumb and stupid was just an introvert.Most Beautiful people are unhappy because their definition of beauty is something else..the mental spectacles they wear about beautiful is some other colour.

Colourblind vision

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight... the truly wise person is colorblind.
Albert Schweitzer

Try to look at your friends and neighbors as if you saw them for the first time...try to look at your loved one as if you just met them ...try to look at your parents as if they are your friends' parents ..and you'd realize so many new things about them. For once try to look at your own house as it was some one else's ...try to wear your clothes as if you don't own them .Believe me its a wonderful experience.
"This world is a rosy garden , only if you are wearing red spectacles "
-Ram Santosh

Keep smiling and keep following and coming back to Ram's Realizations .Have a colour blind day! Bless all .

Conphused Man!

2011-03-22T12:03:00.004+05:30

The Air conditioned bus 525 started from its starting point at Goregaon(Where I stay) .I boarded the bus for my one and half hour long journey to New Bombay (Navi Mumbai -where my college is) .There weren’t too many passengers but I still opted to sit at the last seat. It is raised above al the other seats and you get the whole view of the bus. There was this 40 year old man who occupied a window seat on the left front side of the bus. As the bus set into motion, he suddenly got up and shifted to the parallel seat on the right side of the bus (coz the morning sunlight flashed on his face .I wished I could tell him he was getting free vitamin D) .Now he was on the front right window seat of the bus. After a while the bus took a curved left turn and suddenly this man gets up( now the sun was on his right ) and tries to move to his original seat. Within which humor happened and he lost his old seat and he turned to his new seat again..and guess what.That was taken too! . He then settled for a seat next to me which was neither window seat nor the front seat nor next to the ladies seat: :P

The next one hour I pondered upon this incident.(something I do best)

Why is it that we all want a problem free life? the sunlight was the problem for this man...where actually the sunlight isn’t a problem at all. It is going to be there no matter how much u avoid it. As the bus keeps taking turns you cannot keep changing sides..

are we considering many things in life 'problems' where in reality they may have something beneficial for us like vitamin D ;)

Man is one greedy animal and his wish list changes from minute to minute

1. He leaves from home thinking he should get a bus soon... no matter how crowded it is.

2. He stands at the bus stop and wishes he should at least get to get in a bus...

3. He sees a not so crowded bus coming his way...now he thinks at least I should get to sit inside..

4. It should be a window seat at least so that he has some breeze on his face

5. It should be a window seat on next to the door so that he can get down easily ...

6. The conductor should speak to him properly...he’s a government servant :P

7. He wishes he could have a female who could sit next to him!

8. He wishes the female would talk to him.

9. If she did talk he wishes she would ask him out

10. He now wishes he had no office today and could help the woman carry vegetables until home

And they said dream big....

Not dream fast u idiot....

Bollywood movies nai dekha kya? Dreams are always in slow motion …(remember the hero and the heroine running towards each other on a beach?) So dream slow dream definite…and god will be less confused on what to give u…(if ur an atheist and don’t believe in god..then dream definite for your good so that u know what u really want )

And yea morning sunlight is good for health it is not a problem...

Don’t create problems out of things like sunlight

How many ‘sunlights’ do u have?

Biking Diaries - Pee You Shee Aahe ka?

2011-02-07T16:50:00.001+05:30

Latesht AAni Phitest -Latest and fittest -image by NDTV

The tittle actually is the accent of a typical mumbai traffic police.

Its been 5 years since Ive been dealing with them...I keep paying them my tax time and again for being on the roads .At times for my mistakes at times for avoiding wastage of time.I'm sure they are so able that they can find fault even in a new car with every certificate required .

These traffic hawaldars love talking so much..(during negotiation).they can talk to you for an hour and take just fifty rupees for the conversation you had with them ..cheap eh?? try to talk dirty and they even spank you for free!

At times i think if corruption didn't exist i would have ended up paying heavily for my mistakes...but at the same time .But at times i have payed even when i made no mistake...We all wish there was no corruption this no corruption that...but the reality is when we do a mistake we love to be given a concession and get freed for cheap...like all humans (specially girls) we love cheap deals don't we..

On one side we have WE HATE MUMBAI TRAFFIC COPS PAGE on facebook with 1200 plus likes and simultaneously you have yourself abusing these traffic cops in front of your friends saying 'Mama banaya usko' (fooled 'em) and you tel your parents ...

"I wasn't wrong at all papa but this corrupt hawaldar na is ...so bad he took 500 rupees just for one can of beer I had"

and papa like all other oldies says

"corruption is spoiling the country ,these hawaladars must be taught a lesson" .Next day papa pays the hawaldar a cool 100 bucks for jumping the signal ,says "jau dya na saheb late hoth ahe" (please leme go sir,I'm getting late) and after he goes a few meters ahead he thinks he got a cheap deal...

The bottom line is 'We are jealous of them making quick money'.

No one likes a person who makes good money in a quick span ...the instinctive response says "kuch toh jhol hoga" .(Something must be wrong)

Amcha changla Pandu -

Ive had the privilege to drop police men on multiple occasions from SRPF goregaon to navi mumbai..and listening to their insecurities is again a sad story...Low pays , Sudden transfers, no time to spend with kids, extended work hours...bribes to be paid to get that post. how do they stop not accepting money."Vhery vhary diphicult" says constable Shinde..something has to be done to eliminate corruption in the system..but by people not agreeing to pay bribes???? naah this is never gonna work... coz humans love to peep and anything that's cheap..

Curing an infected mango tree cant be done by spraying flit on the plucked mango

.-© Ram Santosh

Now how do we do it?? I'll come to that in some other blog post! :)

Mala zao dya na ghari aata wajale ki bara -Popular marathi song..

I've stopped blaming these pandu's ( mama's or whatever).Though they scare me even if I have every certificate and my license .I'm so good at spotting them that I spot them even when I'm in a public transport..."woh lo wahan chupa hai"...(there he is!!!)

These guys can give u some very humorous incidents..I thank one of them for the joke below which inspired this blog post

license ahe? ( do u have the license? )

ho (yes)

Pee u shee? (PUC certificate?)

ho aahe (yes i have it)

" Tumcha right cha mirror nahi ahe...dand bharava lagel "

( you dont have a right mirror ..will have to pay fine)

to which I reply

' pan saheb me lefty ahe '(but im a lefty')

'chal bara za... aj chi bhovni zhali nhauti manun tula thambhavla'( fine then go...i caught you coz i hadn't earned anything today as of now ).

Well the joke is over...if you understood Marathi you can write LOLZ in the comment box below....LOL ( do we actually LOL?? check this space again you might know) till then have fun with the Pandus

-Ram Santosh

( I dont remember where I got the images from but please spare me if I forgot to add your names)

Remember Thy Dream

2011-01-25T15:52:00.002+05:30

I cleaned my cupboard some days ago and happened to see a notebook I had filled up almost 6 years ago.It was from a workshop I had attended after my tenth boards. What I saw in it moved me more than words could describe.

There was this page on which I had written some of the things I thought could be defined as my dreams. A dream list sort of

There were more than thirty dreams on the list. Some of them were silly (silly for now, but for a 15 year old it

was a dead serious list)

As I read the whole list I had this dumbfounded open mouthed look on my face which defined my

bewilderment. I could not just believe that some of them had already come true and i never realized that they did

Here are some of the things that did come true in the years ahead...And at some point had been a distant dream. I’ve explained why.

My first bike and Me

1. Owning a bike, and riding it like crazy .at that point biking was a strict no no..and I was to inherit my father’s kinetic scooter..Till it got stolen and my dad wanted a replacement.. my LIC agent knew I wanted a bike and he sold off his Yamaha 125 to me for a mere 12k!

2. Becoming a chemical engineer. (should have put 'becoming a good chemical engineer' – be careful for what u wish for) back then in the tenth I dint know what it was to be a chemical engineer, I dint realize it even when I took admission that I was opting for chemical. when I saw this page…I was flabbergasted

3. Staging a concert. (And what a grand way that happened, in front of more than 500 plus Datta Meghe College people, and I was scared they would boo me to death !) now Ive done more than one concert .

My first Stage performance

Second performance

4. Growing my hair long. ( I cursed my engineering drop , I thought my life was over .Now when I look back I realize the last 2 dreams wouldn’t have come true had I not got the drop. and I love my hair now! views and comments invited on fb :) )

5. Beating up someone in college like in Hindi movies (I got beaten up too but it was fun) Kids please keep such dreams away from your diaries.

6. Play the guitar (gifted by mom 3 years ago! I still don’t know how to play it well . but im glad I could compose a few songs of my own)

7. Be on Television for a good reason (and how grand it was. I had come on TV to play the song I myself had written and composed, prime time 7 pm on Bindass channel..This dream came true because of the above dream)

8. Go on a Road trip (Leh Ladakh -21st June '10 to 5th July 10-check out the pictures in my face book album)

Standing half naked at -5 degrees witnessing my first snowfall at khardungla (Leh)

And there were some more small ones which I would like to keep to myself.

However small and trivial they were some had actually come true without my conscious realization. I felt like the rest of them were also gonna come to life and it filled me with a degree of happiness that I had never experienced before.

While we were kids we dreamt of having that geared cycle,video game,those GI-joes, Hotwheels and when we got it we forgot it was our dream, we dream of sitting/driving in some car and some day u actually are , the deal is dreams do come true..but we seldom remember them.

I was so glad I wrote them down … knowing that your dreams have come true is the best thing that can amplify your pursuit of happiness ;)

Imagine you running as fast as u could and no one ever told u where the finish line was…no matter how many times u crossed the finish line…you just don’t know that u have won!

Most people keep running such races for life…and always wear a disgusted tired look on their face that says ‘life sucks’ ..in reality they don’t know how much it has given them

Most of us change dreams so fast we don't realize which ones have come true! Take time to acknowledge what you have to day..may be ur having that perfect relationship with ur parents, with your love, may be u have what you wanted the most at some point ...weve been running so fast that we dont take time to look into the past and acknowledge ourselves .after all life is all about having what you dont have rather than having what others dont have. The trouble is we want to own what others dont have.

Take time to kiss your mom and tel her how sweet shes been to you, Kiss your automobile and tel her she was ur dream once..(driving becomes so much fun) and thank god for the life you've had so far .

Its important to acknowledge simple victories in life…every dream come true gives hope for another one…

I’m listening to Dream on by Aerosmith…awesome song!0

Listen to it and remember to dream and more importantly write them down…you’ll have reasons to have lived your life well and so that u could realize as they come true.

People and even your close friends or family members would at times try to discourage you from realizing your dream. Remember 'The world wants you to remain average! '

But then dream on...

and write them down !

show it to them years later

and smile as u watch them frown!

So Write to remember and remember to write - take care and keep coming back to Ram's Realizations

PS: Writing what 10 people would read was again a dream!

Thanks to you to have made this possible :)

The Other side of the Road

2010-12-19T00:13:00.004+05:30

I was walking my way back home from college after another exam from Hub mall to Goregaon station (east).

Major part of the road to the station is a single lane road and very village like.The roads are broad enough to let just one big truck and a bike pass together.In case of two trucks coming in opposite directions one has to wait till the other driver shows off his driving skills.Most of the road is dug up at the sides in the pretext of putting some cables into the road.Now I don't want to stress on this point and curse the BMC for it..there are plenty of other bloggers doing this job.

The road is a bit difficult to walk on as you have vehicles honking behind your ass often.Most of the times you keep looking back to see whether the horn was of a car,bike or a truck.and since the road is so narrow you would have to be really careful not be kissed by some truck .I realised every 10 seconds i had to look back once to make sure no vehicle would run me over.

After a while I realized how stupid i was being.I just crossed to the other side of the road...and started walking..

Now I had traffic flowing towards me ..and this was much easier..I dint have to worry about some thing unexpected from behind I could see whats coming to me

All I had to do was walk on the other side of the road and face the traffic head on.. since it is easier to face incoming traffic than walk with traffic in your direction.

This led to some realizations ,

1.We are, most of the times on the wrong side of the right path ..and we complain of the path being wrong.

2.Problems cannot be avoided ..the more you avoid and run away from them the more they are gonna honk into your ears and kick your ass..face them head on and they shall soon pass away.

3.Focus more on problems of the future (ahead) than problems of the past (behind) ,you'll move a lot faster

Taking the road less traveled (as said by Robert Frost) ..is good but if u have no other route..remember every road has two sides just walk on the other side.

You might be on the wrong side of the right road

If its a bull grab it by its horn

not to run,but to fight you are born

-Ram Santosh

What we Had is What we Want

2010-12-13T11:54:00.002+05:30

When we were kids :

1..We could communicate even without proper words... we had real emotions
2.We had more of hugs..(even from strangers)
3.We shed tears not for what we lost...but for what we wanted
4.We dint have complex emotions like fear,guilt.cheated,complexes...we were either happy or hungry
5.We didn't care what the world thought about us (dunia kya sochegi)
6.We spoke to ourselves and could do that all day .(When was the last time you did that? )
7.We dreamed and day dreamed...till we were told its a bad habit and we should get serious and real.
8.We had stronger bones( and loads of them)
9.We demanded things and got them ...without negotiating or worrying about putting across the right words.
10.When we laughed everyone laughed with us .
11.When we cried the world responded
12.Silly things weren't stupid...we were allowed to be stupid at times.
13.Didn't have to worry bout dressing sense..everything we wore looked good on us
14.We were encouraged to stare and play with the kid of the opposite sex ,wherever and whenever and our parents enjoyed it.And later.......(I don't need to talk about this)
15.We had loads of adjectives to our name
16.We had fun filled birthdays even without alcohol
17.We never got drunk but were still on a high
18.We hardly thought about what we didn't have,we loved our toys like hell
19.We concentrated so much on the games we played
20.We were appreciated for every little thing, scolded but loved as soon as we curled our lips
21.We weren't naturally scared of bhoot...until our parents made us scared for their benefit (udar mat ja bhoot hai. And loads of other fears)
22.We weren't scared of the dogs (bhow bhow) till someone told us ..they bite real hard..and have to be kept away ...by shooing them away
23.Preschool scores never mattered ...but then our world revolved around marks and grades [ I don't even remember them now...(after my 12th I forgot my tenth scores),no one asks my twelfth scores now...slowly..I 'll forget one day about my engineering aggregate ..]
24.We didn't care if we were rich or poor
25.We were given gifts ..people came to meet us..all we had to say was thank you ..and not worry about what to give in return
(there can be more ,but that's all I remember ..do contribute in the comments)

.All people remembered you is for how much you could love, how many smiles you could give, how well you could keep your toys, how well you could remember them (not formulas), how well you could sing and how bad you could dance.

We had the perfect lives as kids..then somehow we lost (we were made to lose) it all..and as we grew older..we are in pursuit of finding those same things again..
Life's weird but this is how it is
reading backwards these are what we die for when we become older..

Our greatest problems and fears are cultivated by ourselves or by our up bringing...if only there was a school to Unlearn (fears,beliefs ,myths ) I would love to be its student.
-Ram Santosh

Sound Vs Light - Words vs Behavior

2010-12-06T13:46:00.003+05:30

I had a walk in the morning at about 4 am and the street lights were off.After a while they suddenly switched on and illuminated the whole of Link Road.What happened after its illumination and further rumination of thoughts is what I shall describe ahead.

We all know that for our eyes to be able to see any object, light has to fall on it and has to reflect from the object to our eyes. After the road got illuminated I could see a tall man at a distance. I knew that if he tried to speak to me from there I would not be able to hear him. But trusting my visuals my mind had already made perceptions about him.He was slouched , in tattered clothes and walked in a zig zag manner. So before I could even properly see his face..his body language communicated to me that he was drunk and was poor.

That's all that happened at the road.What happened later really put my mind to work.

I could see the person coz light reflected from him to my eyes. Light travels at 3 X 10^8 m/s .

At the same time sound ,I have read in the 8th standard textbooks ,travels at 340 m/s.

So technically light is 8 x 10^5 times faster than sound..(^ means raised to the power of )

which brought to me to developing this new Philosophy

" What you speak, travels at the speed of sound,

What you seem ,travels at the speed of light"

Body language suddenly made a lot of sense..

Albert Mehrabian (currently Professor Emeritus of Psychology, UCLA), has become known best by his publications on the relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages. His findings on inconsistent messages of feelings and attitudes say that

1.Our words comprise of only 7 % of the communication involved

2.Voice tone makes up for 38% of communication

2.More than 55% communication comprises of gestures,emotions,feelings and attitude.

The simple logic that visuals are much faster than sound is enough to prove to us that people analyze our behavior first and our words later.

So no matter how good and qualified we are with our words if our actions aren't quality ..bad impressions are made..

Ralph Waldo Emerson's line:

"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say" has had a huge impact on me and really made me think if the way I communicate is correct..

No one really cares how much u know until they know how much you care. So treat people well because that is what is seen .It is not only about how you look but about how you maintain a good attitude,a pleasant expression, wear that lovely smile, be warm towards people and be subtle with your gestures. because these travel faster and convey faster to the people than what you speak can convey

Of course good speech is important..but how you communicate non verbally has a larger impact..

So remember that you are seen , observed even before you speak .A good conversationalist or a charmer is one who uses all the forms of communication I.e Verbal, Vocal & Visual. aspects properly

Be good.Look Good.Be heard.

Evolve Please - Be human

2010-12-04T00:38:00.005+05:30

I hope Salman Khan doesnt Sue me for using that Title

The following post is a follow up of my previous post Stop Being So Scared. One of my readers took some time for some appreciation and gave me this valuable story, which I thought should be shared with all.
Thank you Janaki.

Image courtesy:http://blogs.sun.com/krabhishek/resource/images/monkey2.png

In Janaki's words :
"I'm glad I do not listen to my Mom all the time, or without even trying, her fears would become mine. It reminds me of that story of keeping monkey's in a cage and keep bananas on top of a ladder...do you know that story?

It was an experiment!A few monkey's were put in a cage and Every time a monkey would try to climb up the ladder to eat a banana, water would be sprayed on other monkeys.Each one of them tried once and they all got irritated of the water.After a while,a new monkey was introduced in the cage and every time the new monkey tried to climb, the others pulled him down because they thought the water would be sprayed, even when it wasn't.

Even when the old monkey's were removed and the only new monkey remained with a newer companion, the new monkey stopped the newer monkey from climbing even without knowing the real reason.

Well! That's our society too!
Those who get scared and ask others to be scared are the monkeys in our lives! So don't be a monkey,be a human! :-) "

Janaki is an avid blogger.visit SyncroStation for talks about Matters that Matter to her.

Stop Being So Scared

2010-12-02T18:16:00.005+05:30

"Have u signed your Journals ? " Screamed Sam (Name changed ..LOL !)
Me: in bewilderment .."why so soon?"
Sam :"dude ! submissions are coming up , they'll screw you if you don't get things signed"
Me : "well my attendance is low they have every right to screw me, but why are you scared ? you've got good attendance"
Sam : (now perplexed).."yea! but I dont know, I'm just scared ,how can you not be its the 'Submissions' "
Me: okay I know its a big thing in an engineers life but what are u scared about? I stil dont get it.
Sam: You need to be serious in life Ram, You should be scared about certain things.
Me: Being Scared makes u Impaired ! ( I had one of my eureka moments after I made up this statement,
for that moment you feel super good about yourself for coming up with something like that and secretly pat yourself)
Sam left, still thinking I was a nut and I'm sure he never understood my statement .

There are these Scared Sams everywhere..loitering in college corridors worrying about assignments, midterm exams,Prelim exams, Library cards, Project work, Home work ,Drawing sheets, Classes, Signatures, Grades, phew endless list!
There are similar Scared Sams in workplaces who find something to be scared about at all times.

I just re winded my life and thought about the things that I was scared of , I wondered whether they really matter today..and to my surprise none of the things I was scared about really helped me .Being scared is such a waste of time

Pre-school : I was scared of Mrs.D'souza (she was a sweet female is what I realized after primary school) coz she used to make huge eye balls at kids who pee in their pants and most of the times her fear is what made them pee. Was the fear worth it?? I could have spent time much better but not worry about how not to pee in class.

Primary school: Scared of Vira teacher ,Scared of the Pranks I couldnt stop playing ,Scared of remarks in the school calender..which would cost us our dear marks . (Today I realize its all my pranks and my remarks that has made my primary schooling life worth re-collecting)

Secondary school : Scared of Desai sir( a wonderful person)..for he used to beat us up for mischief ! Today its fun talking about it. Back then guys where scared when Desai started removing his rings from his right hand fingers and put them into his left hand fingers..(LOL that was his signal ...I'm Angry)!

Then I was scared in the ninth ,coz people told me ninth is tougher than tenth .The Maths chapter SURDS still sends a chill down my spine!

Then came the tenth boards . I was scared for my scores .I thought they really mattered in life!
Whether I'l get a good college or not,whether I'll be able to take up science or not.Family prestige issue..blah blah bullshit

Some teacher had told me I He'll change his name if i got more than 60% and I was shit scared...how would I get admission .what would I tel my friends .??(I ended up geting 80%)

Scared No More!

Junior college- Scared of doing practicals correctly, attending classes for boards in 12th ,scared of what girls would think of me ( no one even looked at me , but I was stil scared) ..Scared of screwing up in my Boards...I was so scared ...I did screw up..then I thought it was the end of the world..I could never be an Engineer.. but then Common Entrance Test happened and I scored decent enough to get an Engineering seat

In Engineering people are scared about their scores, grades, impressions, scared of their girlfriends/boyfriends ,scared whether they'll get a high paying job, Scared whether they'll get settled before they marry...damn the list is endless...

Half of our lives are spent in being scared about something...if we are so scared where are we gonna get the time to enjoy simple moments.
We are more afraid of that unseen monster than we are some of the people we let into our lives.The truth is the monster doesn't exist..parents and teachers have always used fear to motivate us to do better which is so wrong, and now being scared is just another habit.

Its okay to get low scores, its okay to get punished at times..its okay to be surprised but don't be scared
Being scared makes you Impaired- ©Ram Santosh
When was the last time you did something without being scared ?
Have fun every moment ,be whacky ,sneak out, do something you've never done before
Life's too short to be scared and live with it.

Dare to be not scared and life will be much better!

I remember one of my status updates on Facebook:

Life is race ,true,but you run your own
you decide the Start line n you decide the Finish
you don't Win or Lose till you think you have
For you can lose only when you run somebody else's race!
Competition may be necessary...but Commuting is far more important Run your own race

So dont be scared, be who you are
smile at yourself you're a superstar! -R.A.M

There's Lots In A Name

2010-11-27T21:46:00.003+05:30

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.
~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Really ???

Well how do you feel when you bump into your school teacher in a bus and she remembers your name ?

How do u feel when your long lost school crush ,who now looks hot ,sees you at a mall and yells out your name.

Or when the DJ announces your name over the Mic..

Everyone's name is extra special to them and its one of those things though belonging to them ,you use it more!

About a couple of months ago I was working on an education project with a finance company and I decided to visit my school for some primary research on regulatory policies of schools.I went after the secondary school timings since I knew the principal would be free then.I reached the gate of the school and suddenly felt as if i was in my half pants again...the school flag fluttering next to the Christmas tree and the peculiar buzzing sound that a school gives you even when you stand outside it brought back fond memories of people and my life with them.

Amidst my thoughts someone called out " arrey shreeram ,tu yahan kya kar raha hai?" ( meaning,hey shreeram what are u doing here) and i was surprised to hear my school name again coz after school I have always been addressed as Ram . I turned around to see my school peon Narayan .. the fact that he remembered me and my name..almost got me to tears...I still remember holding his fingers with my tiny hands as he led me to my classroom after I had wet my pants in Sr.Kg.. I shook hands with him and I was glad he remembered my name.

I moved to the second floor ,had a fantastic meeting with my principal Mr.Anthony Fernandes as I took leave I bumped into my primary teacher whom we called 'Jane Teacher' the next instant she had her hands on my ears,twisting them and said "My god U've changed so much ,how are you?" to which I said" I cant belive you remember me " ."of course I do Mr.Shreeram Santosh"

It is truly said by Dale Carnegie (One of the worlds best writers on human interactions) "Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language"

Ever since then I made it a point to remember people's names coz I learned remembering someone's name is like honoring them and respecting them for what they are.and it doesn't take a lot of effort

There have been times when I have got the beer after the bar closure , just because I knew the bartender's name.

The sandwich guy ,Chotu lets me Eat Now-Pay Later ..The watchman greets me every morning with a salam sahab ,just coz i give him a smile and say " good morning shankar " and I tel him hes the only one who calls me sahab before I even have become one .

To end this up I'll end up with one last story

Six months ago there was a fire in my building and our corporator/MLA Mr.Subhash Desai paid a visit to our society. amidst all the chaos ,the fire fighters the screaming a young lad from my society saw the corporator and said "haila Subhash Desai " to which the smile on his face was endless...he couldn't believe his branding skills were so good that a 6 yr old knew his name.

People love their names,

Waiters would prefer being called by either their own name rather than thapa or raju or ramlal or whistles..start remembering their names and see the kind of service that you get.

Remember that lift man's name and he would run to stop the lift for you to get in

Remember that Peon's name and he would let you know which salt it is in the chemistry practicals even before you start the practicals

Next time instead of just thanx ..say thank you _____(persons name) and see the difference it makes!!

Remembering a name cant get you good grades ,or promotions or fat salary packages but it brings you simple moments of happiness , which integrates to upgrade the lives of others as well as yours.

Your name defines who you are, your attributes, qualities, your preferences ...simply put your name is the super set with which all other memories ,quotes and incidents that are attached to you.

Every Name is special just as life every life is significant..

Take time to celebrate the uniqueness that your name brings you. Call out your name aloud! and see how great you feel about it ...coz Ram Santosh feels awesome when his name is screamed out loud!

And Remember To Remember people's names.It pays. Not in Cash But in Kind -ness.

The Rose Plant - Freedom and Balance

2010-11-19T18:34:00.004+05:30

This one is for anybody who is in a relationship with any person on this planet.

We all love stories don't we? The 'Rose Plant' is a story with many deep insights and morals and paradigms.
I've tried to my brains best capacity to coin this story and also some valuable co-relations and morals it has come by.

PART ONE:

A man once got home a Rose Plant.He was very very happy and enthusiastic. He had in his hands one of the most beautiful flower plants in this world. as soon as he held the plant in his hands he was wondering how many roses it can give him and how he can obtain the best of roses.He purchased a very expensive pot for the plant.He sent his servant to get the best possible soil and some fertilizers which would make sure the rose plant gives him healthy roses.he watered the plant every day without fail.he would take care to keep weeds from growing in the pot and even got insecticides to keep insects at bay.

In spite of all this the plant started getting weak and eventually died. He did not know what went wrong.He blamed the soil ,the fertilizers, the water and anything he could.He knew without water the plant would die,without fertilizers he wouldn't get the best yield and without pesticides some organism might damage the plant. He had missed out on one of the most important ingredients for growth of the plant 'Sunlight'.

STORY ENDS....

We are all like the man and the Rose Plant can be your son, daughter, friend, student ,girlfriend,boyfriend, husband or wife. We all have expectations right from the time the relationship takes birth..right from the time the child is born the parents have already thought of how they are to bring up the child, the teacher expects great scores from the student,the lover expects never ending understanding from the partner.

PART TWO:
Every aspect of the story has a relation to human needs.Getting good soil for the plant is like getting a good atmosphere for the person to grow.if the soil ain't right or filled with nutrients the growth of the plant is gona be very poor.Unless the atmosphere (home,office,school) aint positive and filled with good values the relationship is going to have a tough time.
The fertilizers to the Rose Plant are like luxuries offered to humans.
They say "Living in the lap of luxury isn't bad, except that you never know when luxury is going to stand up"
Comprises of all material things that we buy or do for the relationship.Like getting the Kid into a good school, buying him all the toys he needs,the PSP's and the Cellphones and sneakers and all that Bling! lovers buy each other stuff hoping that these luxuries are what they ought to do and that's all they have to do to have a great relationship.

The insecticies/pesticides to the Rose Plant ,another important ingredient ,is to provide safety from foreign attacks.For humans its Security and Protection that the relationship can provide. More the pesticides more the security??? not actually, it doesnt work that way .It just spoils the yeild of the plant making it poisonous...so offer too much security and it shall be poisonous.
Most 'Run Aways' and 'Suicides' happen in highly secured homes. where the security is so tight not allowing space to breathe.

Water to the rose plant is like affection and attention without which no relationship can survive.It is a daily need and the foundation for each cell of the plant to thrive.at times you can do without luxury(fertilizers), without too much security (pesticides) ,but with proper values (soil ) and attention(water) the relationship (plant) can grow beautifully.Most Parents,teachers and lovers often neglect this major daily need and they make up for it with sudden bursts of luxury and security(fertilizers and pesticides -by now ur getting the hook of it arent you) but it doesnt work that way ,nor can u put all the water on just one day wen the kids got good grades (on other days wen hes back from his game u dont even know which game hes soiled his clothes on) On birthdays,children's day and anniversaries the parents,teachers,lovers show sudden affection (too much water) which doesn't help the plant to grow! all it causes is a temporary emotional flood!

After providing all the above one doesn't realize it the most important need of the plant -sunlight-it stands for freedom, space and society.its like you have all the luxuries, al the protection but no where to go?no people to meet?no views exchanged? no new ideas? i call this slow death..man is a social animal and without society it doesnt matter if hes dead or alive ..let them facebook a bit ,call their friends,meet up old school buddies and share how they are alive

Give your child ,student,lover the much needed freedom,let them bask in the sunshine, water them everyday, provide them with what they need, make them feel secured and I'm sure the flowers are gonna be beautiful and will come forever

Each of the above discussed components is a must for the plants growth..
Make sure all of them are in balanced quantities.The concept of balance is another interesting one.

Too much of freedom can lead to havoc...the plant with only the sunlight can burn to death because of the environment.
Too much of water shall drain the soil of the essential nutrients and make the plant unhealthy
Too much of pesticides makes the yield poisonous ( hi security breakage running away etc)
Too much of fertilizers make the plant incapable to sustain its growth once the fertilizers are not given, it does not make use of its internal capabilities to absorb nutrients.

Too much of anything is bad for you
be it love ,hate and vitamins too.
Every boon in history has proved to be a bane
Midas' touch or Bruce Almighty's pain.
Too much sunshine or too much rain
If it ain't constructive its all in vain
Don't give too much nor receive
Balance is what you need to achieve
----© Ram Santosh

Happy gardening!