Random Brainwave

Public Service Announcement

2009-07-12T17:10:00.006+10:00

News Flash: A Current Affair Gets it Wrong.

A Current Affair did a story on a Melbourne bloke the other day saying he looked like Tom Cruise. They paraded him around Melbourne (video here) trying to make people guess who he looked like.

They didn't fucken ask me because if they did I would have made the correct observation that he looked like Skolnick from Revenge of the Nerds and not Tom Cruise.

Judge for yourselves:

Tom Cruise or

Skolnick?

Annonce de Service Public

2009-07-12T01:42:00.000+10:00

Ne lisez pas ces ordures françaises. Si vous voulez lire une bonne langue alors ce n'est pas pour vous. Si vous voulez une bonne langue de B-qualité ce n'est pas pour vous. Vous l'utilisation plus riche perdre le changement de votre cendrier et putting de cela dans un distributeur automatique qui ne travaille pas. Le son de vos morceaux de 20 cents entrant d'un saut chez le plateau de changement serait un "enfer de beaucoup" plus agréables que l'attente de ce blog de trouver chacun les postes nouveaux et ou bizarres.

Cette merde est mauvaise; vraiment mal. Non bon mauvais, pas délibérément mal donc c'est bon; c'est un sandwich de merde moins le pain.

Public Service Announcement

2009-07-07T17:58:00.003+10:00

Do not read Random Brainwave. If you want to read a good blog then this is not for you. If you want a good B-grade blog this is not for you. You would better off using lose change from your ashtray and putting it in a vending machine that doesn't work. The sound of your 20 cent pieces dropping into the change tray would be a hell-of-a-lot more enjoyable than waiting for this blog to come up with any new and or funny posts.

This blog is bad; really bad. Not good bad, not deliberately bad so it's good; it's a shit sandwich minus the bread.

Public Service Announcement

2009-06-20T17:32:00.003+10:00

Do not watch 'Hell Ride' directed, produced and also starring Larry Bishop. If you want a good biker movie this is not for you. If you want a good B-grade movie this is not for you. You would better off using the $3 in change you use to hire the movie and put it in a vending machine that doesn't work. The sound of your 20 cent pieces dropping into the change tray would be a hell-of-a-lot more enjoyable than watching trying to watch 'Hell Ride'.

This movie is bad; really bad. Not good bad, not deliberately bad so it's good; it's a shit sandwich minus the bread.

Accidental re-posting

2009-06-19T13:01:00.007+10:00

The boobs above are infinitely better than the boobs I found on my camera after someone had stolen it and put it back in my bag last year in Croatia. The boobs pic below was taken on the island of Hvar.

However none compare to the boobs of Bridgit Gread who kindly sent us in a pic:

(.) (.)

I like all the other LWDB's will be retiring to the toilet for a little while.

Song for a Wednesday

2009-06-17T12:09:00.003+10:00

You probably won't have heard of Rare Bird, which is a shame. You're missing out on a great band. They're best known for a wonderful track known as "Sympathy" which crawled it's way to no. 27 in the UK charts sometime in the early seventies, but today I'm going to give you something from their sadly overlooked album Somebody's Watching.

Rare Bird - More and More.

Just right click and save as.

Awesome.

Australian War Memorial

2009-06-17T08:40:00.006+10:00

There is an excellent post over at Misguided Idealism by heatseeker. His great grand uncle, Sydney Vivian Wade, was one of the few to be buried in a marked grave after dying as a result of a gun shot wound in the horrific battle of Fromelles.

A letter Syd (aged 16) penned to his father 'attesting that he was aged 18 years and five months' is now part of the National Archive.

You can also read about heatseeker's contributions to the Australian War Memorial here.

Doing business on eBay

2009-06-16T14:51:00.005+10:00

I recieved some interest in my item that I am selling on eBay:

Hello Seller, i will like to buy your item on Ebay and i will to buyit to my New
store in Nigeria, so i want you to get back to me and let meknow how many of
this items you have for sell and the amount you arewilling to sell the item so
email me back to ######## i wait for your mail back soon Thanks

I replied:

Greeting buyer,

I have lot of interesting item for sale on the store of eBay. The first
item I would like to sale be my wife. I will only charge postage for her. I would also like to sell my children for the amount of $900.

Also, I have some used staple I would like to sell for the princely sum
of $10. Thanks for your interest.

Victor never replied.

Read Jeremy With Moderation

2009-06-16T11:07:00.015+10:00

Jeremy Sear recently wrote a post at Pure Poison discussing the meaning of the word 'blogger' and its definition relating to people commenting at News Ltd sites.

As a side note Jeremy remarked:

PS Would whoever’s editing “Punch” mind either indenting the first few words of each paragraph or inserting line breaks between them? The formatting of this piece was abysmal.

I then commented:

This is coming from a PP author who LIKES TO USE CAPS ALL THE TIME!

I was then asked a question by another commenter regarding my problem with using CAPS.

I answered something along the lines of do you use CAPS mid-sentence?

The comment was then moderated and did not appear. I emailed the editors of Pure Poison asking for an explanation. I recieved a short explanation from one author and a second, more thorough explanation detailing the reasons why my comment was not allowed -- basically it amounted to trolling. It should be noted that Jeremy did not moderate the comment.

Now, as an expert troll, this offends me. Because I didn't consider my comment trolling. Deliberatley pushing buttons maybe, but not trolling. "Low-level snark" (within the PP commenting policy) perhaps? And by no means derogatory (within the PP commenting policy).

It was on topic because of the post author's constant use of CAPS mid-sentence which most people consider the equivalent of shouting and/or more annoying than someone not indenting a paragraph.

This highlights a few things:

1. Jeremy's inablility to handle valid criticisim. He highlights the annoying and 'abysmal' formatting of 'Punch', however, when it is pointed out that his contant use of CAPS is also annoying, that point is derailed.

2. Another example of Jeremy not being able to handle valid critisism was when he moderated a comment I made at his personal blog when I agreed with Iain Hall that Jeremy lived on 'planet barrister' after his post on the Matthew Johns scandal. It seems the other authors at Pure Poison have no problem admitting the have made a mistake but can Jeremy? The Lord's Agent at Southbank???

3. It pains me to say this but I agree with most of the RWDBs when they make the observation that Jeremy has thin skin. What upsets people about Jeremy is that when criticisim is made about his syle, argument or when his quite-often-hypocritcal-points are highlighted, his response is usually laced with an arrogant, smart-alec type of resonse. One wonders if this is why Jeremy is probably the most hated and arguably the most embrrassing blogger on the Internet. Yes, he will argue the point with you but when you floor him by pointing out hypocrisy or that he is wrong, he can't handle it.

And like Iain Hall, Jeremy will never concede and will keep arguing until the other party just gives up; giving Hall and Sear a false sense of victory.

4. If Pure Poison wants to be taken seriously and remain transperant it should allow the pointing-out of hypocrisy however mild it may be. RWDBs often and correctly highlight Jeremy's dodgyness when it comes to how he approaches his own blog. If Pure Poison wants to be a bastion that 'exposes intellectual disohonesty' then they need apply that rule to themselves. Moreover, Jeremy needs to apply this rule to his critiques.

While Pure Poison was an evolution of the old Blair Bolt Watch site, it seems that Jeremy is still too focused on the words of Bolt just like a first year uni student protesting against the evils of McDonalds. The other authors (whose posts are worth reading) are broadening their sights. This makes the site a lot more intersting than picking faults with Bolt - who let's be honest, is the voice for a decent slice of suburbia. Writing about Blair is a non-event now since he rarely writes more than a couple of lines and his recent columns are like trying to read a lunch order on a wet paper bag.

That is all.

It's A Seller's Market

2009-06-15T13:34:00.009+10:00

I'm selling some gear on eBay that I never use and I am completely hopeless at. I looked at other listings for a Playstation 3 and found some tough competition:

Can I convince my housemates to don their bikini's for a slice of the $$$?

Should I get them to hold a copy of today's paper so they look more convincing than a cardboard cutout placed on the end of a basement-dwelling- teenager's single bed?

Chuck's Top 5

2009-06-13T11:28:00.004+10:00

These albums have been on high rotation at Villa de Spear his week.

1. Wisenheimer / Custard

Highlight: Sunset Strip

2. Mammoth Mammoth / Self titled EP

Highlight: Weapon of Mass Destruction

3. Second Album Project / Dogs Die In Hot Cars

Highlight: Something For The Good Boys

4. Over The Edge / The Wipers

Highlight: Over The Edge

5. The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust / Saul Williams (Produced by Trent Reznor)

Highlight: Sunday Bloody Sunday

Surname and Spear Caught on Film

2009-06-12T13:29:00.000+10:00

A friend filmed a conversation between myself and John Surname recently. Surname pays me a compliment for once.

Literal eclipse of the heart

2009-06-11T12:37:00.001+10:00

Received this from a mate. Just brilliant.

Spot the sucker

2009-06-08T21:13:00.015+10:00

As predicted the bait has been dished up and has been swallowed. Beck, would you also like a spoon to eat out my arse?

Beck, you sir are a second-rate, fucking moron. You should hook up with a first-rate one we all know. It would be a good example of Blair's Law.

*It's okay 'cause Beck has screenshots.

Update: Face not saved. Put down the shovel Beck. Everyone knows you hunt Wolverines with a shotgun.

This comment pretty much sums up the Biggest Dickest war with Beck. And no Beck, the posts are not going back up. RB has already wasted enough time taking the piss out of you:

He spent part of today's holiday constructing bait to entrap you and you spent part of today's holiday falling for it. The only factual certainty is that you both wasted part of today's holiday.

This is one of those 'Arguing-on-the-Internet-is-like-competing-in-the-Special-Olympics' moments, and both Beck and Chucky get a medal!

Sayonara.

John Surname writes:

Chuck built the coffin, Surname provides the nails:

The taken down posts, saved as drafts:

The hatching of the plan:

Dreck will be unable to admit he fell hook, line and sinker for this most obvious ploy designed to play on his many - many! - personality faults. We are very good at this, we've done it before. It will be fascinating to see what sob story he concocts now, and whether he makes it to China before he admits he was wrong.

HE MUST BE RIGHT!!! HE HAS SCREENSHOTS!!!

Sear Steals Idea

2009-06-06T17:57:00.003+10:00

Over at Anonymous Lefty, Jeremy has stolen (and given no credit) the YouTube video of some private school boys having a lame fight that I originally used here.

I originally used the video in the context describing what it would it would be like watching Jeremy and Tim Blair going at it in court -- not members of the Coalition fighting.

I do comedy Jeremy, you don't.

*Still waiting for you to un-moderate my comments where I agreed with Iain Hall that you lived on 'planet barrister' on your Johns scandal post.

What's Worse

2009-06-05T18:58:00.003+10:00

This paragraph from Tim Blair's latest 'column' which explains more about Blair's writing than the Chaser's pathetic skit:

In the US, a TV show (or anything, really) is said to have "jumped the shark" when it descends from funny to mirthless, or from good to bad. The line comes from a Happy Days episode in which Fonzie, yes, jumps over a shark. On water skis. While wearing his motorcycle jacket. Thanks to The Chaser and that reader, there's now an Australian shark-jump equivalent. When a local show begins to tank, we may now refer to it as having "flown the Vatican".

Or this comment from Andrew Bolt's latest column:

This is arguably the finest piece of journalism published anywhere on the planet today.

Answer: Both demonstrate Blair's self-promoted law.

HYPOCRISY RULES OK

2009-06-05T14:56:00.004+10:00

Is anyone else noting the pattern at Dreck's website?

It's simple, stupid!

Goat fucking funny.

Dog fucking not.

"PP Boyz" funny.

B.O Dreck not.

Beck seems incapable of doing posts over 25 words, so perhaps someone could explain what his ~~stunning~~ non-existent take down of my post was all about? Somewhere in there is the inkling he disagrees with it, but fuck knows he couldn't say why! That actually might require deep thought, and not the kind of deep thought that comes up with phrases like "PP Boyz", and then complains about immature humour. Oh, we're simply horrid. We won't play by his rules at all!!11!

Dreck should go back to taking quotes out of context. It's all he can do successfully.

Soap on Rope

2009-06-05T08:55:00.007+10:00

Standard J.F. Beck Operating Procedure 1

1. Post pic of handsome fit-looking dog

2. Have a sook when it suggested that dog likes a diet of bananas dipped in peanut butter

3. Be so upset that he can't muster up the courage to link to it

4. In a brilliant joke reversal, suggest that Toaf likes sex with dogs

Standard Operating Procedure 2

1. Creepily obsess about a blogger's "apparent obsession with penises"

2. Write a post about Random Brainwave being "Penis Sized, Dog Fucked" or something or whatever

3. Ignore the irony of sock-puppet comments allegedly coming from Tim Blair's IP

4. Accuse Random Brainwave (a fine, well-read, distinguished and reputable blog) of deleting posts instead of commenting on the (very interesting) content of the post.

5. In one of Beck's lamest posts ever demand we explain ourselves!

Okay, explanation time. The post was reposted higher in the order of posts so I could beat Surname in the RB challenge to do more posts about Beck than Beck does about Sear & Loewenstein (or is that Lowenstein).

We contacted the Statutory Blogging Rulez Board asking permission to repost a post of ours at our own blog in a manner that we wanted it published.

They gave us carte blanch to do what we want.

The end.

Should I?

2009-06-04T01:43:00.003+10:00

Blogosphere - in these testing times of global financial strife is it really wise to spend $100 on a piece of (slightly worn) black vinyl? What about if that vinyl could sell at a profit?

So many confused feelings. It's like that weekend I pashed a guy all over again.

In the meantime, I have this:

Cool cover, bro.

Tim's Sad State of Affairs

2009-06-02T17:56:00.009+10:00

John Surname writes: Hello idiots!

If you're visiting from Dreck's you're about to discover that, OMG, he's wrong and and as usual has no idea what he is talking about.

He claims:

The original post was posted online in the evening of 1 June and was silently
pulled before midnight (AEST). A rewrite of the post eventually reappeared at 5:56 PM (AEST) on 2 June.

The original post can be found here where Dreck might have found it if he'd actually bothered to do any research. Super slueths might also note that by looking at the Blogotariat feed, you can see it lists two posts, published two days apart that are exactly the same (save for one tasty lawerly difference that Beck and Blair may wish had remained private).

Rewrite my arse.

That's right, it's the same post, just resaved as a draft and reposted later as not to clog the page too quickly, just like Chuck said.

Beck PWNED. Do your fucking research next time. What is it with the right and just making up what ever they want to believe?

Oh, and stop using Hide My Ass to try and block your IP. It doesn't work.

------------------------------------------

It's been a tough few months for Tim Blair. Coming off the 'WB' scandal Tim is trying his best to look cool by hanging out with the Crusty Demon kids in a desperate attempt to stave-off a mid-life crisis. Tim tries stay relevant with a nauseatingly bad take-off of someone else's hilarious take-off of Claire whatever-her-name-is. Not even what's left of the monkeys find it funny.

Hi my name's Tim and I have become Fonzie in the famed 'Jumped the Shark' episode I always link to. Dude, have you seen my car? Dudes, have you seen my niece? Anyone, have you seen my winged-monkeys? What?? They have their own blogs now!? But 'Beck' would meet me if he could! Guys?!...Well fuck you then. I has lawyers and youse are going to pay big time!

Poor Tim couldn't handle the fact that he or 'WB' were busted allegedly posting sock-puppet comments from Tim's IP. As pointed out in a comment in a thread below, Tim showed up to the Sydney Writers' Festival saying (or was it debating) that the blogosphere would be a better place if everyone was required to comment using their real names.

Tim became a laughing stock when he allegedly sent letters threatening legal action to certain bloggers (one of which is teasing about posting the letter on his blog). Tim was serial. Caught red-handed, he acted like a sook and was immeasurably hurt. Mind you, seeing Jeremy and Tim go at each other in court would have been hilarial and not dissimilar to this:

Tim levered an apology from here using a fulcrum: lawyers. However, like I have previously said, it is only speculation that Tim and or his girlfriend were posting as 'WB'. Googling that 'internet dump' yields some interesting results, however:

Tim must be rattled feeling the need to delurk (or at least shed his anonymous tag for a while) over at Beck's. He seems the only friend Tim has at the moment as the winged-monkeys have deserted the sinking ship. Some have ended up on Beck's comment threads as 'Anonymous' but as we know, most of those are from the guy who calls himself 'J.F. Beck.'

So it's a sorry state of affairs for Tim. I certainly hope that he pulls himself out of his mid-life crises and returns to blogging about Phatty Phillip Adams and Traceeeeeee Hutchinson.

FREUD FIELD DAY

2009-06-02T17:00:00.001+10:00

Another hour, another glaring piece of right-wing stupidity.

"What Jeremy's really after is recognition..."

I actually think it's the dream of another undistinguished octogenaria n nearing death to be recognised by Bolt.

Trust me, I don't think being "recognised" by someone like Bolt is really high on anyone's agenda.

SHOE, MEET OTHER FOOT

2009-06-02T12:00:00.001+10:00

B.O Dreck complains that Pure Poison don't blog about Bolt enough for his liking:

Over the past three days Andrew Bolt has 35 posts, 15 today alone. On past form that should provide the PP boyz plenty to rave about but they managed only one Bolt post during that period, way below their 1.8 Bolt posts a day average. Have they mellowed, or did someone with authority perhaps tell them to broaden their horizons? Regardless, they're groping for material at the moment.

In the 96 days that Pure Poison has been online, Beck has mentioned...

Pure Poison 143 times (coming to 1.48 times a day)
PP 83 times (0.8 times a day)
Jeremy Sear 128 times (1.3 times a day)*

Considering that Pure Poison is an offshoot of BoltWatch, an actual blog about Bolt, it should come as no surprise that he is so well-represented. In his case, blogging so excessively about people for no other reason than they criticise the writing (and hurt the tender feelings) of your best mate is quite an achievement indeed.

Hilariously, he can't see the irony (it's an American thing I'm told) of calling people "obsessive" for blogging about the writing of Australia's most popular conservative "social commentator" when defending his obsessive, and in no way barrel scraping, criticism of Pure Poison.

If you can't get your head around that, remember these are the people who believe global warming is a scam designed to bring down capitalism. Facts don't bother them.

*Some of the Jeremy Sear hits took place before February, but I'm generous so I'll include them.

SLOW DAY OR WHAT

2009-06-02T08:00:00.000+10:00

Is this the most pissweak takedown on the internet thus far?

Is a guy who dyes his hair particular about his eating? You betcha:

"[Jeremy's] fairly fussy when it comes to desserts..."

You assumed it, now didn't you?

Next on Dreck: "Hypocrite Jeremy breathing oxygen created by planet he hates."

WORDSMITH DOES ITALICS... OR NOT!

2009-06-01T20:15:00.005+10:00

Self-loathing Jew and blogger with a blog Antony Loewenstein (or is that Lowenstein) has made another error in his attempt to bring down Zionism.

Loewenstein (or is that Lowenstein) has not italicised the letter 'T'.

I expect some quick changes at the head-tilter's site after he reads my post.

*I post this in the attempt Tim may read it...

RB Issues Challenge

2009-06-01T19:52:00.003+10:00

Here at RB, I Charles Angus Spear (of racist origin), issued a challenge to John Surname that we couldn't do as many posts about 'J.F. Beck' as 'J.F Beck' does about Jezza Sear and or Antony Loewenstein.

Surnname responded with:

Do you mean this Loewenstein or this Lowenstein?

I must admit that I was slightly confused.

I have thrown my OCD pills in the bin, suffocated Surname with a pillow, thrown the hydrotherapy bath out the window and are now on the loose.