Random Brainwave

2009-09-15T13:52:00.002+10:00

If you are still reading this blog you may have noticed the blog war posts by myself have been archived. They have served their purpose and old news now. "Mr Surname. Tear down this blog".

Twitter Is The New Shit

2009-07-31T09:12:00.004+10:00

There comes a time when one can't be bothered posting anymore and that's why Twitter is the way of the future as it minimilises blogging to a line or two and is even more mindless. Eventually updates will become emoticons before the Web re-cycles itself back to a circa Geocities era. At this stage people will realise that maybe writing letters to each other like they did in the 90s is a whole lot cooler and maybe even retro.

This turn of the wheel will carry with it a certain arrogance that would be similar to the Melbourne rock scene. People will start giving their spoken word diatribes out on TDK tapes - wait - they already do because tapes are cool again.

Google will eventually turn itself into an evil company that will make Microsoft look good. Its employees will be turned into flesh eating Zombies after one of their on-site sewerage recycling plants explodes and infects employees with toxic sludge from a bio-weapon made in Google Labs.

Twitter does have its good points. Namely enabling a gent to threaten and stalk Brian McFadden. But now I am getting off topic.

I am known in many circles as 'modern day Elvis of blogging'. And many other important people have said 'if blogging had a rock star Chuck would be that star'. Such descriptions and quotes are often echoed in the tubes of the Internet by hangers on and wannabes, but I don't mind.

So over and out. Right turn. Dismissed.

Some PS Lovin'

2009-07-25T14:00:00.001+10:00

CWC makes love to his PS3 in order to get his accounts back.

Sexy huh?

Rick Wakeman, teen idol

2009-07-21T16:14:00.002+10:00

A little known fact about me - my main hobby is collecting issues of Dolly from the seventies on eBay. I've got most of 1974-1977 but the rest can be a little tricky to find.

Dolly Magazine is, of course, known for its vapid adherence to pop music, so I was a little surprised to find this:

Is that a pull-out poster of Rick Wakeman on the cover?

As in Rick Wakeman, keyboard player from prog-rock band Yes who quit to make a series of increasingly crappy solo instrumental albums? That Rick Wakeman?

On the surface this seems as unlikely as Scott doing a nude photoshoot for Cosmopolitan, but the idea of young girls listening to Yes warms my heart infinitely more than the thought of them listening to Lady Gaga.

Public Service Announcement

2009-07-12T17:10:00.006+10:00

News Flash: A Current Affair Gets it Wrong.

A Current Affair did a story on a Melbourne bloke the other day saying he looked like Tom Cruise. They paraded him around Melbourne (video here) trying to make people guess who he looked like.

They didn't fucken ask me because if they did I would have made the correct observation that he looked like Skolnick from Revenge of the Nerds and not Tom Cruise.

Judge for yourselves:

Tom Cruise or

Skolnick?

Annonce de Service Public

2009-07-12T01:42:00.000+10:00

Ne lisez pas ces ordures françaises. Si vous voulez lire une bonne langue alors ce n'est pas pour vous. Si vous voulez une bonne langue de B-qualité ce n'est pas pour vous. Vous l'utilisation plus riche perdre le changement de votre cendrier et putting de cela dans un distributeur automatique qui ne travaille pas. Le son de vos morceaux de 20 cents entrant d'un saut chez le plateau de changement serait un "enfer de beaucoup" plus agréables que l'attente de ce blog de trouver chacun les postes nouveaux et ou bizarres.

Cette merde est mauvaise; vraiment mal. Non bon mauvais, pas délibérément mal donc c'est bon; c'est un sandwich de merde moins le pain.

Public Service Announcement

2009-06-20T17:32:00.003+10:00

Do not watch 'Hell Ride' directed, produced and also starring Larry Bishop. If you want a good biker movie this is not for you. If you want a good B-grade movie this is not for you. You would better off using the $3 in change you use to hire the movie and put it in a vending machine that doesn't work. The sound of your 20 cent pieces dropping into the change tray would be a hell-of-a-lot more enjoyable than watching trying to watch 'Hell Ride'.

This movie is bad; really bad. Not good bad, not deliberately bad so it's good; it's a shit sandwich minus the bread.

Song for a Wednesday

2009-06-17T12:09:00.003+10:00

You probably won't have heard of Rare Bird, which is a shame. You're missing out on a great band. They're best known for a wonderful track known as "Sympathy" which crawled it's way to no. 27 in the UK charts sometime in the early seventies, but today I'm going to give you something from their sadly overlooked album Somebody's Watching.

Rare Bird - More and More.

Just right click and save as.

Awesome.

Australian War Memorial

2009-06-17T08:40:00.006+10:00

There is an excellent post over at Misguided Idealism by heatseeker. His great grand uncle, Sydney Vivian Wade, was one of the few to be buried in a marked grave after dying as a result of a gun shot wound in the horrific battle of Fromelles.

A letter Syd (aged 16) penned to his father 'attesting that he was aged 18 years and five months' is now part of the National Archive.

You can also read about heatseeker's contributions to the Australian War Memorial here.

Doing business on eBay

2009-06-16T14:51:00.005+10:00

I recieved some interest in my item that I am selling on eBay:

Hello Seller, i will like to buy your item on Ebay and i will to buyit to my New
store in Nigeria, so i want you to get back to me and let meknow how many of
this items you have for sell and the amount you arewilling to sell the item so
email me back to ######## i wait for your mail back soon Thanks

I replied:

Greeting buyer,

I have lot of interesting item for sale on the store of eBay. The first
item I would like to sale be my wife. I will only charge postage for her. I would also like to sell my children for the amount of $900.

Also, I have some used staple I would like to sell for the princely sum
of $10. Thanks for your interest.

Victor never replied.

It's A Seller's Market

2009-06-15T13:34:00.009+10:00

I'm selling some gear on eBay that I never use and I am completely hopeless at. I looked at other listings for a Playstation 3 and found some tough competition:

Can I convince my housemates to don their bikini's for a slice of the $$$?

Should I get them to hold a copy of today's paper so they look more convincing than a cardboard cutout placed on the end of a basement-dwelling- teenager's single bed?

Chuck's Top 5

2009-06-13T11:28:00.004+10:00

These albums have been on high rotation at Villa de Spear his week.

1. Wisenheimer / Custard

Highlight: Sunset Strip

2. Mammoth Mammoth / Self titled EP

Highlight: Weapon of Mass Destruction

3. Second Album Project / Dogs Die In Hot Cars

Highlight: Something For The Good Boys

4. Over The Edge / The Wipers

Highlight: Over The Edge

5. The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust / Saul Williams (Produced by Trent Reznor)

Highlight: Sunday Bloody Sunday

Literal eclipse of the heart

2009-06-11T12:37:00.001+10:00

Received this from a mate. Just brilliant.

HYPOCRISY RULES OK

2009-06-05T14:56:00.004+10:00

Is anyone else noting the pattern at Dreck's website?

It's simple, stupid!

Goat fucking funny.

Dog fucking not.

"PP Boyz" funny.

B.O Dreck not.

Beck seems incapable of doing posts over 25 words, so perhaps someone could explain what his ~~stunning~~ non-existent take down of my post was all about? Somewhere in there is the inkling he disagrees with it, but fuck knows he couldn't say why! That actually might require deep thought, and not the kind of deep thought that comes up with phrases like "PP Boyz", and then complains about immature humour. Oh, we're simply horrid. We won't play by his rules at all!!11!

Dreck should go back to taking quotes out of context. It's all he can do successfully.

Should I?

2009-06-04T01:43:00.003+10:00

Blogosphere - in these testing times of global financial strife is it really wise to spend $100 on a piece of (slightly worn) black vinyl? What about if that vinyl could sell at a profit?

So many confused feelings. It's like that weekend I pashed a guy all over again.

In the meantime, I have this:

Cool cover, bro.

FREUD FIELD DAY

2009-06-02T17:00:00.001+10:00

Another hour, another glaring piece of right-wing stupidity.

"What Jeremy's really after is recognition..."

I actually think it's the dream of another undistinguished octogenaria n nearing death to be recognised by Bolt.

Trust me, I don't think being "recognised" by someone like Bolt is really high on anyone's agenda.

SHOE, MEET OTHER FOOT

2009-06-02T12:00:00.001+10:00

B.O Dreck complains that Pure Poison don't blog about Bolt enough for his liking:

Over the past three days Andrew Bolt has 35 posts, 15 today alone. On past form that should provide the PP boyz plenty to rave about but they managed only one Bolt post during that period, way below their 1.8 Bolt posts a day average. Have they mellowed, or did someone with authority perhaps tell them to broaden their horizons? Regardless, they're groping for material at the moment.

In the 96 days that Pure Poison has been online, Beck has mentioned...

Pure Poison 143 times (coming to 1.48 times a day)
PP 83 times (0.8 times a day)
Jeremy Sear 128 times (1.3 times a day)*

Considering that Pure Poison is an offshoot of BoltWatch, an actual blog about Bolt, it should come as no surprise that he is so well-represented. In his case, blogging so excessively about people for no other reason than they criticise the writing (and hurt the tender feelings) of your best mate is quite an achievement indeed.

Hilariously, he can't see the irony (it's an American thing I'm told) of calling people "obsessive" for blogging about the writing of Australia's most popular conservative "social commentator" when defending his obsessive, and in no way barrel scraping, criticism of Pure Poison.

If you can't get your head around that, remember these are the people who believe global warming is a scam designed to bring down capitalism. Facts don't bother them.

*Some of the Jeremy Sear hits took place before February, but I'm generous so I'll include them.

SLOW DAY OR WHAT

2009-06-02T08:00:00.000+10:00

Is this the most pissweak takedown on the internet thus far?

Is a guy who dyes his hair particular about his eating? You betcha:

"[Jeremy's] fairly fussy when it comes to desserts..."

You assumed it, now didn't you?

Next on Dreck: "Hypocrite Jeremy breathing oxygen created by planet he hates."

RB Issues Challenge

2009-06-01T19:52:00.003+10:00

Here at RB, I Charles Angus Spear (of racist origin), issued a challenge to John Surname that we couldn't do as many posts about 'J.F. Beck' as 'J.F Beck' does about Jezza Sear and or Antony Loewenstein.

Surnname responded with:

Do you mean this Loewenstein or this Lowenstein?

I must admit that I was slightly confused.

I have thrown my OCD pills in the bin, suffocated Surname with a pillow, thrown the hydrotherapy bath out the window and are now on the loose.

CHK-CHK-CHANGE

2009-06-01T16:16:00.002+10:00

Guy Rundle webeloffs.

Rightard verdict: Racist! Hate-filled!

Tim Blair webelons a week later in a suspicously similar article.

Rightard verdict: Comedy gold!

John Surname's point proven.

More here.

ADOLESCENT WHERE?

2009-06-01T11:04:00.002+10:00

Another intellectually stimulating post from Dreck:

Random Brainwave today honours me with two posts -- I'm also the subject of the five latest. It's more of the same try-hard adolescent stuff -- penis size and dog fucking -- from Chuck A. Spear and John "Pimples" Surname.

So I suppose that by insulting my appearance Dreck is the mature one in this?

Leigh Paatsch

2009-05-30T09:05:00.003+10:00

This is what happens when you write a review about a film you haven't seen. Instead you write a review based on press release that you have:

GO on. Admit it. Deep down, you're worried Terminator Salvation is going to suck because Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn't shown up.

Don't be afraid. The first Arnie-free Terminator is not that bad at all.

Oh really Leigh?

As always, Arnold Schwarzenegger is a man of his word. The bodybuilder-turned-actor-turned-governor will be back as the T-800 killer cyborg in this month's Terminator Salvation.

The actor's appearance was confirmed at a Thursday press screening of the movie.

Here is a clip to prove it.

Leigh Paatsch = hack.

*Thanks to blogger for stuffing up the font.

2009-05-30T08:05:00.003+10:00

Fans of Cormac McCarthy's novel The Road may have been disappointed when viewing the preview for the film as it attempts to explain the events that lead to America being devastated by an "unnamed cataclysm" The novel never explains what lead to the end of civilization and post-apocalyptic wasteland, however, the event is open to the reader's interpretation.

If you’ve never read a page of The Road, you probably see the beginning of that trailer and think “End of the world action thriller. Cool.” If you indeed had that reaction, consider yourself officially misled.

Here’s a dose of the truth: The film version of The Road adheres pretty closely to the novel (with a few choice liberties taken here and there). In the novel, there is never any explanation of what event(s) turned America into a desolate wasteland. When the story begins, The Man (Viggo Mortensen) and The Boy (Kodi Smit-McPhee) are simply walking on the road across the annihilated landscape and that’s as much background as we get. There is no preachy message about the environment or nuclear war or human relations - no subversive political or religious metaphor. The story is set in a post-apocalyptic hell mainly because that setting is the most extreme contrast to the guarded and filtered reality in which most parents try and raise their kids.

Basically, "the studio producing the film...pulled out some dirty PR tricks to sell The Road to a wide audience".

Phew.

A review of the book can be found at Brown Noise Unit. Hans Fruck interprets it as a possible "post-nuclear-war America":

The sun's blotted out, the trees are bare and burnt, and everything’s swathed in ashes. This is the setting of Cormac McCarthy's The Road – post-nuclear-war America, or at least what used to be America. What's left is a charnel house. Barren earth, ash-choked rivers, corpse-littered landscape.
The story starts several years after the apocalypse. Already everything’s slumped into horrific, gut-churning violence. Those unlucky enough to survive creep, starving, through a hellish landscape, hiding from the cannibals that stalk the countryside, and battling just to see the next day, and the next. Amid this panoply of horrors, the smallest act of endurance is the rawest act of bravery....

I'm with Hans and not with the "Climate Change" marketing schtick.

TRY AGAIN

2009-05-29T10:24:00.004+10:00

It would appear that B.O Dreck is very touchy on the subject of his lack of readership, and, in fact, has even gone to the lengths of publishing screenshots of his hit count to prove to us how relevant he is. He wants to know what I'm doing, but whatever it is, he's dancing along, perfectly in time.

Another day, another three hits from his site. And totally he devoted a whole post to me and everything.

Dreck devotes a wacky 376 words (one of his more in-depth adventures) in which he:

a) tenuously links me to PP, which I suppose in his mind is a win.
b) finally links to Chuck's hilarious post about Dreck's dog fucking with all the moral indignation he could muster (as we know, bestiality is only funny when it involves Palestinians!)
c) claims that "Grods isn't political blog! LOLOLOLOLOL!", which left me literally breathless with rage and indignation. Oh, the nerve!
d) still sees Chad Sexington's comment as "nastiness", while Clare W's racism is handily overlooked, and his own nastiness is apparently non-existent.
e) proved the entire thesis of this post.

Fluid indeed. Only The Right can be politically incorrect. Otherwise it's nastiness!

Then he does what he does best - he takes a passage out of context!!11! which I'm sure he sees as a witty, crushing victory, but which the rest of us see as taking a passage out of context.

Always the last resort of the desperate.

Query: Why can I do this without taking things out of conext and he can't? The intellectual death of the right continues.

NEWSFLASH: BECK FAILS IN PWN BID

2009-05-28T11:02:00.005+10:00

Another day, another 11 hits from B.O Dreck's. Apparently he is very sensitive on the topic of how many hits his blog gets. Practically none, but for the few who want to see nude pictures of Carla Bruni. But the big question is - how many subscribers does he have?

And Random Brainwave?

That's what the kids call an "epic fail".

Update I: In other news he has taken umbrage at the name B.O Dreck.

Update II: If only I had the creativity to invent something as astoundingly hilarious as "PP Boyz".

Update III: Dreck is the King Of Comedy after all.

Update IV: And to that the kids would say "LOLZ".