Random Musings - M.G. Buehrlen

Foto Friday: Oscar Shorts, Ethiopian Fare, and a Floppy Kitty

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 21:06:00 +0000

We started off the week taking in the Academy Award Nominated Short Films at a beautiful, old theater in Detroit. Click here if you want info on the contenders.

Afterwards, we enjoyed some traditional Ethiopian fare. Everything was served family style and you scooped up the main dishes with pieces of injera bread. Eating with your hands is fun. And tasty!

For dessert we enjoyed fried plantains and ice cream in a caramel sauce.

Then came the Ethiopian coffee, freshly roasted. It came with an incense burner, complete with our own pot of Frankincense.

Can you see the Frankincense bubbling in the center?

Ethiopian coffee is super strong espresso. I was up alllll night.

Later in the week, I received this cute valentine:

There really is snow-one as cool as me.

The hubs and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day. Mostly because we find ways to show each other we care all throughout the year.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

But we did have dinner at The Blue Tractor in Ann Arbor. My love language is fried pickle chips, bbq chicken, and a good beer.

We finished off the week snuggled on the couch with a floppy kitten. It's like he gets more adorable every day.

Foto Friday: Scribblin' Synopses

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 18:03:00 +0000

I thought I'd share a photo with you each friday and cleverly call these posts Foto Fridays.

My cleverness. It burns.

I do a lot of iphoneography on Instagram, so each week I'm going to post one photo that was a favorite of the week, something that might make you laugh, or something that embodies what my week was like.

This one pretty much embodies my entire month:

As you can see, I've been writing synopses. These in particular are for my current series. I like having fun at this stage and remaining overly unprofessional. Hence the "Stuff that happens" title.

I dig it.

And here's one more photo that I just had to post. Not sure what's going on here, but I snapped this in the cosmetics aisle at Target.

You decide:

Poor girl.

Have a great weekend!

12in12 - AKA The 2012 Resolution Post

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 19:27:00 +0000

I was never one of those people who wrote down New Year's resolutions. As you *might* have gathered from this blog, I'm kind of addicted to finding new ways to motivate or challenge myself, so accomplishing more in my life is something I aspire to do each year. I don't always meet my goals, of course, but trying is sometimes just as fun as succeeding. A list never really crossed my mind.

But then I did my ThirtyBY30 list -- a bucket list of sorts -- of all the things I wanted to accomplish before I turned 30. Much fun was had as a result of this list. I plan to do another when I reach the big 4-0. (Which is in the far, far, far, far, really far distant future.)

(No really, it is.)

Now I've added the addiction of resolution and bucket lists to my never-ending process of soul-searching. Plus I like writing them down in a brand new notebook with a sparkle-lay pen.

You feel me.

So just for the flip of it, here is my 12in12 for 2012.

And I want to see yours! Your 12in12 list doesn't have to be all resolutions, it can just be filled with things you want to accomplish this year, like finishing that photo project you've been working on for years or trying a new haircut. Or they can be soul-food resolutions like learning to eat more veggies or think kindly about yourself and your body. Or a mixture of both! Whatever your list, put your link in the comments so I can see them.

Remember: This is a judge-free zone. Your 12in12 list doesn't have to resemble Mother Teresa's. This is your list -- make it fun and worth the excitement when checking off the last check box. And even if you don't check any of them off, there's still satisfaction in making the list.

~ 12in12 ~

1) Do 12 acts of charitable service -- at least one per month (I'm really excited about this one - there are a lot of great opportunities in and around the Detroit area.)

2) Finish another novel

3) Complete my 30/30 Writer's Workout Challenge

4) Post a photo a day on Instagram, then create a photo book out of the images at the end of the year

5) Go camping in a yurt

6) Find a new Hermit Cave (We've been cooped up in our tiny condo for a long time, and, while we love it, we need some room to stretch out. Finding the perfect house to fit our hermit needs and taste, however, will be tricky. We are picky, picky hermit people, people.)

7) Take violin lessons so I can learn to play my grandfather's fiddle, which was passed down to me by my father

8) Make something creative from Pinterest

9) Finish the database transfers for YABooksCentral.com (My next Project of Doom!!!)

10) Try to have more fun in social settings without letting my social anxiety get the best of me (Harder than it sounds...)

11) Make a habit of going vegan on Wednesdays. Vegan Wednesdays FTW! (This is not a crusade, it's simply for my health. So if you rolled your eyes, roll them back the other way. Ha!)

12) And last but not least? This is the year I hope to sell my first book.

Will I succeed? Or will I collapse face-first in the Mud Puddle of Defeat? Only time will tell.

Now, what is your 12in12?

30/30 Writer's Workout Challenge (In Which I Channel My Inner Richard Simmons)

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 21:40:00 +0000

Sorry. I had to.

When you write for a living (or work a desk job), you know how hard it is to keep your body fit and healthy.

For one, most of us consume wayyyyy too much sugar than we know what's good for us. And for good reason: The brain needs glucose to process the 24-hour craze-fest of drama running amok in our never-stop-plotting writer heads. So don't feel guilty -- rejoice! When you reach for that third bag of Twizzlers, it's probably because you're hot on the trail of the next plot point.

However, the other reason we desk monkeys tend to have more trouble in the "fit and healthy" arena is that we sit still for hours and hours on end. Sometimes days on end. Sometimes weeks! And we start to think that having a personal trainer or personal chef appear on our doorstep each morning isn't such a far-fetched idea.

How else are we to stay healthy AND churn out the next book or two?

Or three?

But not all of us can afford a personal trainer, or a gym membership, or Weight Watchers for that matter. And not all of us are interested in losing weight or sculpting our bods into chiseled David-like masterpieces.

Some of us just want to work out in a FUN way to get our creative juices flowing. To keep our bodies active on a daily basis so we don't do our bodies long-term harm. After all, that's what being healthy is all about: everything in moderation -- even sitting.

If you just want to get yourself moving like me, then I invite you to join me for a 30/30 Writer's Workout Challenge: 30 minutes of exercise each day for 30 straight days.

You can do whatever exercise you like, wherever you like. Just make sure you log your 30 minutes each day for 30 days straight.

I started mine today. After living in the Hermit Cave for 4 months writing a second book (and let's face it, the holidays), I lost all the strength I built up 2 years ago when I worked out on a regular basis. Back then, I was doing all my workouts with 20 pound dumbbells with ease. It felt amazing. I had so much more endurance than I do now. I had much less chronic pain, and I was a happier person all around.

I want to get back there.

So! I started my 30 minute home routine this morning.

(FYI: If you can, do your 30 minutes in the morning. People who get their exercise done in the morning tend to see better results than those who work out at night. It has to do with kick-starting your metabolism so that it revs high all day long while you're eating/working, rather than while you're sleeping.)

Some people expressed interest in seeing what I do for my 30 minute home routine, so I made up some handy-dandy circuit cards. (See below.)

Again, you can fill up your 30 minutes with whatever you want to do, but this is the routine I've tailored for myself over the years. I used to hate the idea of working out, but this routine is way more fun than running on a treadmill or working out at the gym -- at least for me.

It may look like a lot at first, but once you get in the groove, it goes by super fast. These are exercises straight from the routine my personal trainer had me doing every other day 2 years ago. I've been doing it ever since because the results were so great.

Of course, I added in a bit of my own flavor to make it fun.

* You'll need a stability ball and hand weights for this routine. *

First of all, wear comfortable clothing that wicks away moisture. You don't want to get overheated, especially if you have asthma like me.
Have a bottle of water within arm's reach.
Fire up the music! I like using dance music that I don't normally listen to throughout the day so my body learns to start moving whenever I hear those particular tunes. Muscle memory, baby! I have a Kesha station on Pandora that is perfect for this. I thumb up any song that gets me moving, and thumb down everything that slows me down. By now, my Kesha station is tailored perfectly to my 30 minute exercise routine.
Do this routine right before your morning shower so you don't have to shower or fancify your hair twice in the same day. (Sometimes writers don't shower for days. This is one sure-fire way to make sure you're acceptable for those inevitable social encounters. Workout + shower = Always ready for the day.
Last but not least: DANCE! Don't just work out -- get some freestyle dance moves going on in between reps. This is one reason I love doing this routine at home. I can get my freak on and no one is around to witness the visual atrocity. I'm telling you, when I incorporated free dance into my workout routine, I saw results a lot faster than just jogging, walking, weight-lifting, etc. Plus, there's just something about dancing that just seems crucial to the soul.

Start out with some fun. Jog around the house to that awesome dance music you have blasting down the halls. Then bust some moves for the kiddos or pets who have likely become your audience. Get down on the floor (on carpet or a yoga mat) and do your crunches, leg lifts, and bicycles. Don't forget to pet the various pets who have joined you on the floor. They're probably really excited that you've come down to "their level." Then hop back up and shake it for 2 more minutes.

Next, whip out your stability ball and slap that puppy against the wall. Squat time! I'm telling you -- these squats will have your thighs feeling like rocks in no time. Shake it some more, then finish off the aerobics section of the routine with jumping jacks, arm circles, and pushups. Then? Shake that thang! (Don't forget to drink some water.)

Now grab your weights (start with 2 to 5 lbs) and lie back on the stability ball. (Videos below to illustrate.) Work those arms like a champ! Lift the weights in time to the music if you can. Keeping up with the music helps it go by much faster (and makes it much more fun).

Switch your playlist to a few slower songs and do 2 minutes of slower free dance. Finally, do 5 minutes of stretching on the floor to fully cool down.

That's it!

Here are short video demonstrations of the exercises in my routine. I found them all on YouTube. Watch them for entertainment's sake if nothing else.

Chest Press on Stability Ball: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1kchJg7nrY

Chest Fly on Stability Ball: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3r9c6DfhrfI&feature=related

Stability Ball Squat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXwWuFI9oMA&feature=related

French Press on Stability Ball: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tohAoKaqmB0

One-handed Tricep Extensions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmLdPVm2nAI

Concentration Bicep Curls: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ywx1PYJGnok

Bicycles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNCWDOZMwEI

Let me know if you're joining in on the 30/30 Writer's Workout so we can keep each other motivated. Follow along with me and others on Twitter by following the #buttoff hashtag.

And please, do this for fun, health, and the challenge of it. Being active is what's important -- not necessarily being a smaller size. I dare you not to look at the scale until the challenge has been met. ; )

Have fun!

What Are Your Favorite Holiday Traditions?

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 23:11:00 +0000

This year, the husband and I are staying home for the holidays. It's quite the change of pace, since every year we make a road trip to Chicago or St. Louis to see family. We don't have any children of our own or have any immediate family living nearby, so we go where the action is.

The problem is, the end of the year is the busiest time for our business, and it's really hard to slip away for a week. This year has been the busiest, which is great! But it also means no traveling until after the holidays. So we've been thinking about implementing a few new holiday traditions to make the season special, since we'll be spending Christmas alone.

So far we've done a few of the usual traditions. We decorated a real tree and Lit. It. Up.

We finished our holiday shopping and wrapped the gifts. Don't they look swell under our blindingly bright Christmas tree? It's on Fiyah.

We listened to Andy Williams and Emmy Lou Harris and The Vince Guaraldi Trio.

We made dozens of cookies. And ate dozens of cookies. (The husband is becoming a master cookie-maker, while I've always been a master cookie-eater.)

We put up our annual Christmas Village display in our storefront window and added a trolley this year. The kids visiting our store have all really enjoyed it.

We adopted a cat from the Humane Society and gave him a forever home for the holidays. Say hi to Fritz!

We've even watched all three The Santa Clause movies and have Elf in the lineup for tonight.

First we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookiedough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle.

But I'm thinking we need a few more ideas to make this holiday really special this year. Maybe we'll go to the Greenfield Village Holiday Nights event. Sing along with carolers, ride a Model T, sip some hot cocoa while we stroll through the village...

Maybe we'll ice skate at Campus Maritus Park in Detroit.

What are some of your cherished holiday traditions? I'd love some more suggestions. I'm up for anything! Favorite must-have recipes for your holiday meal? Favorite music? Films? Activities? Events?

Let me know! I need all the help I can get.

And I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and a great start to the new year!

I Got a New Agent! And Here's How It Happened...

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:15:00 +0000

If you're a regular reader of this blog, you'll know I signed with a literary agent about a year and a half ago. (For those who don't know, a literary agent is like a Hollywood agent, only instead of finding their clients films to audition for, they find publishers who want to publish their clients' books. It's a pretty big deal, and it's the first step to launching a traditional publishing career.)

I had hoped that my agent would help me sell my first novel, but things didn't quite go as planned. There are a hundred reasons why that relationship didn't work out. I don't want to get into the nitty gritty here on the Interwebz, but I do want new writers to know that there are bad agents out there. Some just aren't very good at their job. It could be because they don't have the dedication it takes to be a literary agent, or they just don't click with the industry. Maybe they're going through a rough patch and can't handle the long hours. Maybe they don't get along well with their clients.

Whatever the reason, my previous agent was not the right one for me. So I moved on.

But let's rewind for just a second so you get the full story.

Ever since I met Myra McEntire on Twitter through #kidlitchat all those years ago, I knew I wanted an agent like hers -- Holly Root from Waxman Literary Agency. As Myra and I became close friends, I learned a great deal from her journey as she went from agented author to signing her first book deal to selling movie rights to Fox. Through it all, Holly was there for Myra to smooth each bump in the road, cheer her on, and choose the best moves for furthering her writing career. She was honest, prompt, professional, and got the job done. Thinking about having an agent like Holly made me excited to start the agent search process.

It was through Myra that I met CJ Redwine, who is also one of Holly's clients. (And so started a trio of writers that has trouble written all over it.) Again, as CJ and I grew close, I got to see firsthand what kind of agent Holly was, and I decided over 2 years ago that I wanted to be Holly's client.

I sent Holly my first novel through a referral from both Myra and CJ, but since I already had another offer of representation from another agent, Holly decided to pass. My novel had a lot of similar themes as another novel she had just sold, so she encouraged me to go with another agent who might be able to sell it a lot quicker than she could.

This was a huge disappointment, but I understood her reasoning. Holly has a large client base, so she has to be particular with the projects she takes on. If she didn't feel like she could sell it, then she was right, it would be best for me to find someone who could.

I spoke with several other agents and ultimately made my choice. For the first 4 months, everything was great. When I emailed my agent, she replied right away. She was always helpful, and her revision notes for my first novel were spot on. I was impressed and really glad I signed with her.

I spent one month hunkered down in my Hermit Cave, making the revisions she had suggested. Then when I sent them to her, disaster struck. I didn't hear from her. A month went by and she still hadn't read the revisions. Two months. Three.

Five months went by and I still didn't have her response to my revisions. There was no apology. No excuse. Just crickets. (For those of you who don't know, this is not typical.) My novel was sitting in a drawer somewhere not getting the attention it deserved. I didn't think it was fair that someone other than myself got to decide when to put my career and ambitions on hold. So I decided to start the agent search all over again.

Only this time? I wasn't after just any agent. I was playing to win. I wanted Holly, and I was going to write the best book I could--something to make her sit up at attention. Something she couldn't say no to.

Cue my summer blogging hiatus. I started on the new novel in July and didn't come up for air until I put the finishing touches on it in November.

I have to say, this book scared the junk out of me. The plot was wayyyyy over my head, which meant it would be a beast to write. But the funny thing about those types of books? They're usually the ones we're meant to tackle.

Still, I needed my trusty beta readers to tell me if I was headed in the right direction. Chapter by chapter, my two besties (one since kindergarten, the other since college) cheered me on until that final page was written. I don't think I could have written the book so quickly had it not been for them and their unwavering belief in me.

Halfway through the book, I went on a writing retreat to the Smoky Mountains with CJ and let her read the first few chapters. Her enthusiasm for the project almost knocked me flat on the floor. She said that not only did she believe I'd get an agent with this book, but that I'd have my pick.

"Good," I said, "because I pick Holly."

A couple other author friends gave me agent referrals, which was awesome, just in case my "audition" wasn't good enough to make it on Team Root. You never know with these things. Even though Myra and CJ felt the book was right up Holly's alley, taste is so subjective. I've learned to keep my hopes pretty level in this business.

Once the book was finished, I sent it to CJ and Myra for their thoughts. I don't think a day went by that they didn't email Holly to tell her how much they liked it. In fact, they campaigned for my Team Root status so diligently that when I finally sent the query to Holly, she told me I should have CJ and Myra on my payroll.

Here's a taste of Myra's recommendation: "Holy. BLEEP. Hot. HOLY. BLEEP. That's my official recommendation."

And a taste of CJ's: "Okay, I just finished reading Mandy's book. Holy. Cow. Plot twists. Characters I adore. Romance! Romance Foiled! Villains! WORLD BUILDING!"

Can you see why I adore these two? They've been with me since the beginning of my quest. They were there when I sent my first query. When I got my first rejection. When I had to admit to myself that my first agent hadn't been the right decision. When I had to admit that my first book wasn't the right one to start my career.

They were there the next two weeks while I waited to hear back from Holly. I remember wondering why I hadn't heard from her yet, and I sent this text to Myra: "SHE HATES THE PRECIOUSSSS." To which she promptly replied: "TRUST."

I think at some point I told CJ, "I'm slipping into the I-don't-even-care-anymore mode." (For those of you who have gone through The Query Process, you know this feeling well. It's that point where you try to pre-numb yourself so you don't feel the pain of rejection. It's usually not a good place to be, which is why CJ replied with something loving and eloquent like: *SMACK*

During this time, I also had the support of three other critique partners: Sara, Bria, and Francesca. I don't think I could have gotten through this as emotionally steady as I did without their enthusiasm over the book. They probably would have campaigned for my Team Root status too, if given the chance. Instead, they rooted me on like an All-State cheer squad. (Notice what I did there? ROOTed?)

Almost two weeks after I sent the book to Holly, I got a tiny one-line email from her asking if there was a good time for her to call me the following day. I replied with a time, then promptly began the freak-out process. It was a quiet freak-out though. One of those inner simmerings that might bubble over at any minute if you don't keep an eye on it. I told myself I was cool. It's all cool. Everything's cool. Myra screeched. CJ demanded details. Again, they were there to walk me through it all. They were there with me all day the following day on gmail, waiting for The Call, even though Myra was supposed to be writing and CJ had the flu. I'm pretty sure Bria was there on Twitter all day, waiting to hear the news.

(Writers, if this doesn't convince you to find yourself some killer critique partners, I don't know what will!)

Throughout it all, we knew Holly could still say no. I had given her an exclusive, and with the referrals from her clients, she might have felt like she owed me a personal call to break the bad news. I think, in that case, I would have preferred an email rejection so I could cry alone in my Hermit Corner, but Holly's too classy for that.

So. I was waiting. Trying to be cool. Myra was still screeching. And crying. And bingeing on ice cream in my honor since I can't eat the stuff. CJ's right foot wouldn't stop wiggling. And I think her stomach was doing Kermit arms. She couldn't do Kermit arms herself or she'd wake the baby.

And then?

The Call.

First of all, you need to know that I have a slight telephone phobia. I do not do phone calls. I text. I email. I tweet. I status update. I pin. I comment. I write letters and cards. I am awkwardsauce when it comes to the phone. I start shaking. My palms get sweaty. I feel faint. Most of my friends and family know this, and they're sweet enough not to hold it against me. They know it isn't a snub. It's just a somewhat debilitating, irrational phobia of hearing my own voice and listening to awkward silences. Is there a name for this? *googles* Someone says it's called Telephonolaliophobia, which, good grief, is quite a mouthful. To make it easy, just think of it as a symptom of social anxiety disorder or SAD.

I haz a SAD.

Hence the Hermit Cave.

I bring this up only because Holly is a natural on the phone. She made me feel at ease right away. Not too many people can do this, especially when there is judgment and rejection at stake. And thankfully? She got right to the point.

She said she really didn't want to want my book. She tried really hard to find a reason not to offer representation. (Meaning she already has a lot of clients and a lot on her plate, and she has to be very selective with the clients she brings onboard. However...

...and here comes the good part...)

She said, "But I just can't get over this book."

I think I probably stopped breathing at that point, although I didn't celebrate yet. I think I said something insightful and intelligent like, "Mmhmm," while furiously typing what she said to Myra and CJ in gmail chat. Then came more screeching and foot wiggling.

I don't remember too much from our phone conversation -- it's sort of a blur now -- but I do remember her suggesting we skip straight to the We're Working Together part of the call, because she wanted to be my agent. Again, I think I said something lofty like, "Okay. Cool."

I had a few questions for her, but probably not nearly as many as she expected. I told her that Myra and CJ should be on her payroll, because they had sold me on Team Root a long time ago. I said, "I already know you're the one that I want." *pause* "Not that I'm going to break into song or anything..."

But I totally could have broken into song. Because not only did I write the book I didn't think I could write, and got the agent I didn't think I could get, but because I didn't give up after that first failed attempt.

So many writers give up too soon. That very next query could be IT. That next book idea could be THE ONE. If you want it bad enough, then you don't give up. You keep working until you meet your goals.

I can't quite say working with my first agent was the wrong choice, because if that relationship hadn't fallen apart I wouldn't be where I am today on my journey. That bad experience didn't turn me off. It didn't make me throw in the towel. It made me want to meet my goals all the more. I used the same advice my mom gave me when I was a teenager: "If you want something bad enough, go and get it." She was talking about a boy I liked at the time, which pretty much makes her the coolest and most understanding mom EVER, but that advice has stuck with me all these years. It has helped me form the person I am today. When I see something I want, I go for it, even if rejection is on the horizon.

Even if there is a telephone involved.

I still can't think about Myra's and CJ's encouragement and support without getting misty-eyed. If they hadn't been there to help keep my passion and determination headed in a straight line (and kept me off the emotional roller coaster), who knows where I'd be.

All I know is that I am now officially TEAM ROOT, and I'm excited to see where this takes me. I'll be sharing my journey on this blog, so if you want to stay connected, click the "Join This Site" button in the right column.

So how did I celebrate?

After The Call, the husband and I went out to dinner. We got all fancy and went to this snobby restaurant people had been recommending to us for a while. When we got there, we found out the wait time was close to an hour, so we ditched the snazzy scene and strolled down a snow covered street (complete with Christmas lights) to our favorite hole-in-the-wall burger joint.

Here's the hubs standing under a frilly tutu. Because...why not? Plus, we were in an exceptionally good mood. Tutus and a new agent do that to us.

I had a BBQ and onion ring burger and chili cheese fries in my fancy schmancy white pea coat. It was kinda poetic. And kind of Gilmore-Girls-esque.

Then we ducked into this hippy, eclectic coffee shop for coffee and a Rice Krispie Square the size of my head.

While we sipped and nibbled, we watched a folk duo performing in the corner. To round out the perfect celebratory night, the last song the duo played was Orphan Girl by Gillian Welch. I almost choked on my Rice Krispie Square. It's one of the theme songs for the main character in my new book, the one that just got me my dream agent. Don't you just love coincidences like that? The main character has been reincarnated over 50 times, so the lyrics of the song really spoke to me the first time I heard it. If she has lived over 50 different lives, then who is her true family? Her true mother? True father? Where is her true home? Which family members will meet her in the Afterlife at "God's Table?" If she ever gets there? I think the song really fits in that aspect.

To find out more about the new book, I guess you'll have to stick around this blog. :) For now, you can watch the video from my celebratory evening and celebrate along with me. This is The Potter's Field performing Orphan Girl.

(I didn't get the beginning of the song because it took me a few moments to scrape my jaw off the floor. But you get the gist. I think I'll keep this recording forever to commemorate this awesome day.)

Team Root FTW!

Holiday Gifts for Writers and Book Lovers

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 14:11:00 +0000

Last year, Bria Quinlan and I made a bunch of t-shirts, mugs, mouse pads, and more with writerly and bookish designs. Apparently a lot of you like our stuff, because we're still in business!

If you're looking for gift ideas for the writer or book lover in your life, check out all the different designs we have at Writer's Yardsale: http://www.cafepress.com/writersyardsale/

Here are a few examples below. Click on the image to see the entire collection for that design. There are many different color and style options for t-shirts, and lots of gift items to choose from.

I like BIG BOOKS and I cannot lie!
Our newest design.

This design comes in t-shirt and poster form too!
**One of our HOTTEST sellers**

Comes in t-shirts, mouse pads, coasters, and more!

**Our BEST SELLER**
Writer's Block: When your imaginary friends
stop talking to you

Another top seller! For when you
~~spy on people~~ people watch.

We got a little bit "cheeky" with this one.
But customers seem to love it! Ha!

Great quote for the schizo in all of us. :)

Reading is sexy!

Those are just a few of the designs we have available. Check out the entire Writer's Yardsale for more!

And don't miss out on these exclusive Hunger Games, Harry Potter, and Twilight designs, available for a limited time at Spreadshirt.com: http://romanceyardsale.spreadshirt.com/

If you have purchased from The Yardsale before, send us a photo of your item! We'd love to feature it on our blogs.

Do All The Things!! (Productivity Overload)

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 16:11:00 +0000

Have you ever read the hilarity that is Hyperbole and a Half? If not, I highly recommend you remedy that. After this post. Don't go now, because you won't come back here. Go later.

I'll even link it at the end of this post so you can seamlessly scoot on over.

(That is not an invitation to skip my post and scroll to the bottom. *eyes you beadily*)

Though I wouldn't blame you if you did. Cuz Hyperbole and a Half is enriched with vitamins of hilarity and truth that feed the soul.

Moving on.

The fine author at Hyperbole and a Half created this chart. I happen to believe she drew it for me. Or, yanno, the other 32 billion people who can relate.

I currently find myself at the middle of the grid: I'M SUCCESSFUL!!!!! Only because I finished the major project I've been working on all summer/fall.

I tend to have one major project going at all times. I wallow in a mire of self-inflicted hermithood, sustaining myself on a diet of junk food and Sudafed. I'm one-track-minded. I can't focus on anything else and tend to not know what day it is or whether or not I've showered that particular week.

But when the major project is done? And it's time to launch said project? And I finally take those few feeble steps out into the great wide world and fill my lungs with fresh air for the first time in months?

I feel like this:

There is this surge of productivity. The thrill of the launch. Time to do the little things I put off for so long like:

- cooking the real food

- cleaning the hermit cave

- laundering the hermit garb

- washing the hermit hair

- appearing presentable to the public

- having real conversations with the hermit guard (the husband)

- feeding the hermit heating pad (the cat)

- taking the hermit cave alarm system (the dog) for a walk

- going shopping

- doing the little, scraggly day job duties I should be doing every day but put off because my brain can't sustain more than one task at a time

So here I am. Seemingly free for the moment. I feel like one of the twins in a DoubleMint commercial. All happy and clean and tan and blond and flirty and unhermity.

I have another Project of Doom starting in about a week, and you all know how that turned out last time.

So I'm taking this free time to DO ALL THE THINGS!!!

I think I'll redesign my blog. Make a few more t-shirt designs for Writers Yardsale. Hold a poll to name The Freakin' Fantastic Garden Gnome. Giveaway some books. Introduce you to The Shin Kicking Elf. Watch some terrible movies. Read some unterrible books. I dunno. Something fun. Something I haven't had ANY time to do.

Because I won't be dancing this lively jig on The Plateau of Success for very long. Soon, the System Failure Monster will come along to chew my legs off and I'll become the same old squidgy pulp of social unacceptableness all over again. I'll crawl slowly and painfully to the precipice, hurl myself over the edge, make a nasty-sounding and cringe-worthy splat, then climb back up again.

Because that's what I do.

Until then, have a fabulous holiday week! For those of you enjoying turkey this year, have a piece for me. (Dark meat, thankyouverymuch.) I'll be having fajitas. At a Mexican restaurant. With Polish friends.

All of which I am extremely thankful for.

I'm even thankful for the Projects of Doom. Because without them, the fleeting Plateaus of Success wouldn't exist.

Now go have a laugh at Hyperbole and a Half!! (That should totally be their slogan. It RHYMES!)

And the link to the DoubleMint commercial. You know you want it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tzkDNIf-sM&feature=related

A Letter to My Fellow Ladies (A Rambling Rant About Self-Image)

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 18:57:00 +0000

There has been something weighing very heavily on my heart for the past two years. (Longer even, but it was only recently that it started keeping me up at night, sick with worry.) Something that I've watched claw at the hearts of some of my closest friends, tearing them down, making them weaker than I believe them to be. Making them doubt themselves, hate themselves, hurt themselves and those they love. Something that makes them put their lives on hold--this one precious life that is over by the time we feel like it's just begun.

I'd like to talk about it today, mainly to get my thoughts and worry off my chest. Get it out there. I know it has nothing to do with writing or books or publishing, so you don't have to read if you don't want, but it does have everything to do with self-worth and drive and passion. I think it's something that affects everyone. And we keep sweeping it under the rug.

I don't want to do that anymore.

The issue is female self-image in the media.

A few years ago I might have rolled my eyes at this topic because it didn't hit as close to home as it does now. But now that I've become fully aware of the warped body images the media is selling to us, it is an issue that's become impossible for me to ignore. I see it everywhere now--on television, in magazines. I hear it in every conversation I have with another woman. I hear it out of my own mouth.

Her body. Her weight. Her eating habits.

My body. My weight. My eating habits.

My fellow ladies, if we spent half the time we do talking about our bodies and our looks and actually used it to talk about philosophical and social issues, we'd have the world's problems figured out by now.

I truly believe that.

If we took all that time we spend pining over a better bod and exercising until we hurt ourselves and actually attributed that to spending time with our children, our family, our friends, helping our community, helping the poor and the hungry and the needy...who knows what we could accomplish.

I know it isn't as simple as that. But I believe a world of good could come from us simply changing our viewing habits.

Did you know that it's possible to change our opinions on beauty? It's as simple as controlling the images we allow to flash before us--cutting out the lies and replacing them with truth.

I started doing this a long time ago by cutting out magazines and TV commercials. Once I stopped buying magazines (3/4 of them are advertisements anyway) and got a TIVO so I could skip past TV commercials, I actually became a happier person. I wasn't looking at myself in the mirror as much. I wasn't spending as much money on stuff I didn't need. I didn't have as many bouts of depression and self-loathing.

I was beginning to find freedom from the invisible--but all-too constricting--bonds of consumerism, and I realized how the media affected my self-confidence day in and day out. Most of us have no clue that it contributes so much to our unhappiness until we cut it out of our lives.

But even then, I still believed that in order for me to be considered a beautiful woman, I had to be size 8 or below. I still believed I needed to look like a Hollywood celebrity in order to reach my peak beauty.

It wasn't until I became a member on Pinterest that I started noticing a pattern in the images I was seeing on a daily basis. I was browsing fashion blogs and clothing styles so much that I started spending more money on clothes. (Which of course is what the clothing industry wants from fashion blogs. That's why they send fashion bloggers items to try on and photograph and blog about...) Anyway, I noticed that all those women wearing those stylish clothes were tall and slender. White and tan. Young and beautiful.

None of the clothes would fit me, or look good on my body type.

Then I noticed friends on Pinterest posting images of women in swimsuits like this one below to "keep them motivated" at the gym. This one is labeled "healthy weight loss" where the girl goes from a perfectly lovely 134 pounds to 110.

Why is it that in our society, 134 pounds is considered unhealthy? Why is the image on the right considered more beautiful? What is WRONG with the image on the left exactly??

Here's another:

The thing about goal weights are that they're usually 100% ridiculous and unnecessary. They become unhealthy obsessions rather than true desires to become healthy individuals.

Why? So I can look like her? What will that achieve? Will her body bring me happiness? Prosperity? Will it make me a kinder person? Will it help me serve others with a selfless heart? Will it help me stop overeating? Will I love myself more?

Will it bring me love?

According to a fascinating article the other day, probably not. Especially if you're looking for a man who only bases his dating pursuits on body type. The article started off with the photo below:

An online survey was conducted where 60,000 men were shown images of women sized 8, 12, and 14 in bikinis. Overwhelmingly the men were more attracted to the size 12 and 14 than the size 8. It tells us what we've always known: men will almost always prefer curves to a bony hip and shoulder.

What else does the survey tell us?

That finding love and gaining the attraction of a man is NOT why women diet or exercise. It also usually has nothing to do with "getting healthy."

For a lot of women, it has a lot to do with competition.

We see a woman's body with rock hard abs and we say, "Hey! How come my abs don't look like that?" We see how our friend has thinner thighs and we say, "Wow! I'd kill to have legs like that!"

It has nothing to do with being attractive so we find love. It has nothing to do with health. Most of us just want to look as good--or better--than the fellow ladies around us or the ones we see on TV. Period.

When I realized this, it truly disgusted me. Mostly because it's so true. My husband loves my curves. So much so that I often frown at him and find myself saying stupid things like, "I'm huge! How can you love this?"

My self-image isn't warped because my man thinks I should be thinner, it's warped because the women in my life think I should be thinner. The women on TV think I should. The women in magazines think I should. The media thinks I should. And therefore I think I should.

So I put my foot down. I started following a woman on Pinterest who has a board called "Curvy Cuties and Wonderful Women."She often posts images of real-sized women, and when I see them in my Pinterest feed, I know I'm actively changing what I perceive as a beautiful female body.

These for example, are images we wouldn't see in too much magazines:

Why do we view these women as less beautiful than the stick figures I posted up above? Because they have fuller thighs? Softer stomaches? Thicker arms?

We've gotten so used to seeing women with teenage boy bodies and labeling them as having "ideal beauty." No hips. No chest. Skin and bones. We warp ourselves into believing that is the ideal body shape, not even fully realizing where that ideal comes from.

I promise you, it doesn't come from us alone. It comes from the media, the television, the magazines, the commercials. And who wants their thoughts dictated by them? I'd rather have my own mind and be happy about it, thankyouverymuch.

(If you've stuck with my rant until this point, can I offer you a virtual hug?)

All that said, here are ten challenges I'm going to be tackling in the next few months. I'd really love it if you took them on with me, or just picked one to try.

From now on I'm going to:

1) Cut out the vast majority of false, photoshopped images that I put in front of myself. I will flip past the "beautiful women" in magazines, because they're all airbrushed and touched up. None of them actually look like that in real life. Instead, I will put images of REAL bodies in front of me. Real women. If I'm going to look at another woman's body, I'm going to make sure it represents the vast majority of women--the average size.

2) Reach that point where I really do believe what I said in #1 whole-heartedly. What we see on television and in magazines is NOT real. No woman has pore-less skin. No woman has crease-less necks when they turn to the side. No woman holds herself in those ridiculous poses in real life. And no normal person can work out for a living like celebrities do. It's just. not. real.

3) Stop pouring over images of false beauty for "inspiration" and "motivation." If I work out, it's going to be because I LIKE DOING IT. If I'm only doing it to go from one size to another, or look just as good as that other chick at the gym, I'm going to stop and rethink it. Then, because I'm already in my healthy zone for weight for my height and age, I'm going to choose to do something more productive. And fun.

4) Eat something I enjoy and don't feel guilty about it.

5) Stop talking about my eating habits/goals/calorie count. This will be a tough one for me, but I'm truly going to put forth my best effort. Can you do it with me? I fully plan to talk about food in general, because I adore food, but I'm not going to talk about calories or how "bad" I was because I had a slice of pie.

I like pie.

I'm going to friggin' eat pie.

6) Stop talking about my weight and my body around my friends. Chances are, some of them are larger than I am. And we can tell our friends over and over that they're beautiful and they don't need to lose weight, but when we beat ourselves up about our own weight, which may be less than theirs, we're telling the whole world that we're not skinny enough. Not desirable enough. And that speaks volumes. Everyone hears us, even when we think they don't. It makes our larger friends think, "If they don't think they're beautiful at 130 pounds, what must they think of me at 170? They tell me I'm beautiful, but they must be lying to my face." Even though we may not be lying, they'll think we are. And that puts their trust in us on the rocks.

7) Stop talking about my weight and body and eating habits around the little women in my family. Kids hear everything we say. They watch us like hawks. They imitate us. Do we really want them growing up to be as consumed by their body image as we are? Do we want our little men to believe that real beauty is based on looks? On a size 2 or 4 for that matter?

8) Stop telling only my thin friends that they're hot, or they have a great bod.

I was walking next to a friend of mine not too long ago and my other friends shouted out to her how hot her body was. Not one word of praise was mentioned about me or my body. And of course I know why. Because I'm larger. I'm wider. I have a fuller face. I have rounder hips. I don't have a "hot bod." Obviously, I'm not the ideal image of beauty my friends believe in. They don't aspire to have a body like mine, so they're not going to praise me and my looks. And that got me thinking. Are these women truly my friends? Do I really want them to be? Women who praise the very thing that destroys so many women's spirits? Kills so much self-esteem? Leads us down a path of self-loathing?

This is just warped and wrong. When we give praise to those with thin and rock-hard features and withhold praise from those without them, we're perpetuating the thin ideal. The long-and-lean ideal.

We're not okay with ourselves or our friends when we look like Miss Teen UK, Chloe Marshall, who is a size 16:

We don't praise women like her. We praise women like this:

There's even an entire group of women posting images like the one above on Pinterest and captioning it: Dang girl!

What about women as hot as Chloe Marshall? Why don't they get a dang girl too?

By only praising the thin, we end up hurting and excluding a vast majority of average-sized women in our lives. I know I've done it myself. I know I've been insensitive. I've spoken about my weight and how I'm unhappy with my body in front of someone larger.

I refuse to do it any longer. I'm stopping now.

9) Stop watching television shows or films that star a full pin-up cast. I swear, it's getting worse and worse in America. I saw a few episodes of Rookie Blue when it first came out. My first reaction?

How many rookie police forces actually look like this?

Everyone on the show is perfect and beautiful, not just those pictured above. The entire police station appears to be cast from a modeling agency. Perfect skin, perfect teeth, perfect bodies. That's because we don't demand authenticity in American television. We just want to look at hot people.

This is why I've started watching shows primarily on BBC. The people on their shows are more true to life. I've seen women with crooked teeth, fat rolls, wide hips, wrinkles. And do you know what? It's refreshing. It lifts a heavy burden off my shoulders.

Here are the stars of Law & Order UK (for example), who, yanno, actually look like real people. And are, yanno, actually cast for their acting talent rather than their yummy looks:

Crazily enough, the not-so-scrumptious actors usually become our most beloved characters, because we fall in love with their personalities rather than their looks.

It's a novel concept indeed, one that requires control of thought. Challenge #9 is to put my foot down and watch shows with REAL looking people in the cast. Women who look like my real friends. Not women who look like the kind of people I want to be my friends.

10) Number ten might be the most important of all. If you only try one of the challenges with me, try this one. Watch this short film about image in the media and learn how what we purposefully place before our eyes can negatively affect all areas of our lives.

Part one is the first video and part two is below it.

I definitely did not write this post to put anyone down, and I hope I didn't make anyone feel bad about themselves. I don't mean to judge or point fingers. I have been guilty of everything I mention here, and I still will be, I'm sure, until these challenges cease being challenges and start becoming habit.

I don't know how many times a woman has talked to me about these issues and I just nodded my head and smiled until they were finished, and I never thought twice about the truth of the matter. Maybe I didn't want to hear the truth at the time. Maybe I wasn't at a point in my life where I cared enough about it.

But there are women I love in my daily life who are giving up precious chunks of their one-and-only life worrying about their bodies. I refuse to be an accessory to that. I refuse to give them a reason to look at themselves and believe they aren't already WORTH SO MUCH.

I refuse to let one moment pass without telling them how beautiful they are, exactly HOW THEY ARE. And in order for them to believe me, I must treat myself with the same love and respect. They won't believe that I think they're beautiful unless I believe I'm beautiful--just the way I am.

So in order to help others, I'm going to work to change myself and what I perceive as true beauty. It's going to be hard, and I'm going to lose sight of my goal and mess up now and again, but I'd rather spend my time learning how to lift others up than learning how to lift weights. I'd rather spend my time learning the habit of self-love and selflessness than the habit of running everyday or getting to the gym after work.

I just happen to believe that's a better use of my time.

And that doesn't mean I'm not going to work out or watch what I eat. It just means people and relationships and love and self-worth come first. They're so much more important. We can't take our bodies with us.

And now I must end this enormous post because my goal for the day was a clean kitchen. I've gone and spent all day worrying about this post, biting my nails to nubs, organizing what I wanted to say (I really did, even though it may not seem like it!), and then typing it up.

If all you take away from this post is a viewing of the short film above, then I'll be proud I posted this. And if this post gives me more accountability for meeting my ten challenges head on, then that'll be worth it too.

I truly believe if we can change how the media represents women here in the States, we can change the world.

It's Not You, It's Your First Novel (When to Set It Aside and Start Something New)

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 18:13:00 +0000

Some of you may have noticed my blogging hiatus this summer. The reason? I set a personal goal to write 50,000 words in one month.

Honestly, I didn't think I was capable. I'd given NaNoWriMo a try twice and failed both times. But I'm proud to say that I nailed it this time around. I went out to dinner to celebrate, then came home and pushed myself to write another 25k the next month.

Nailed it again.

This week? I'm putting the finishing touches on my second novel. It's around 82k right now, before revisions. (That's close to 300 full printed pages in Word, for those who don't go by word count.)

This, for me, is a major accomplishment. Not only because finishing a book is a major accomplishment in itself, but because my first novel took me six years to complete. Two years to write it all out, then four more years of revisions.

Heavy, weed-wacker-type revisions. Basically rewriting the entire thing over again. And then over again.

And that book still hasn't sold.

After six years of clinging to that baby, it was ridiculously hard for me to set it aside and start something new. I had been dabbling around with writing short stories and scribbling down bits and pieces of new ideas during those 6 years, but I never came across a project I wanted to pour my entire soul into.

When I commit to writing a book, it has to feel too big for me. The world-building needs to be an all-consuming process. Deep and intensely layered. Otherwise I get bored and toss it aside.

I went through each of my reserved story ideas over and over (I keep them all in a folder), and I kept coming back to this time-travel idea I had when I was 16. I started working on the world-building just for fun, and the more I played with it, the more it became clear that this was the next project I needed to work on. I ran it past several of my critique partners and they all agreed.

After six months of plotting and world-building, I sat down to write. Those first 50k words came so fast it was ridiculous and euphoric. The next 25k went a bit slower, but after three months, I'm down to the home stretch. And I couldn't be happier with my work and my progress.

The thing is, I didn't want to let go of my first novel. I still don't. I want it to be published. I believe in it. I have this indescribable love for those characters and their plight that I thought, until now, couldn't be matched.

But that book was never going to be my debut novel. I realize that now. It's an epic fantasy, and those aren't selling too well in this present market. Besides, I didn't know a thing about writing for young adults when I started it, which is a big no-no when your ultimate goal is, yanno, to get published.

Now that I've spent several years in the YA trenches, I know where I went wrong. And I'm okay with the mistakes I made. I really am. Because I know I can always go back and fix them later.

And because my new characters are becoming just as beloved as the old. I'm excited to wake up and work with them each day. I'm excited to see the path they might take to bookstore shelves. And it's not a dig against my first novel. It doesn't mean my first novel was the headliner at Suckfest. It just means this new novel fits the current market and has enough oomph to get my work noticed. The other? Strikes on both counts.

So if you've been struggling with the agent search for a few years; if you've been trapped in submission hell; if you've written several books but haven't sold yet; my best advice is this:

Write the next book.

Find a new idea that floors you and fits into the current market. That doesn't mean writing solely to fit into a trend, but it means digging through your idea folder and looking at old ideas with new eyes. Maybe it means weaving two old ideas into one new one, or brainstorming with a group of writers to take one of your ideas to a whole new level.

Because chances are, one of your ideas will be both: a delicious, fresh take we're all dying to read and just what the market is looking for.

Then, once you have your new idea, set your other awesome novel aside and write the book that's going to make you a published author.

Write the freak out of it.

Because I'd really like to read it.

Twilighter Birthday Ideas (You Can Thank Me Later)

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 22:10:00 +0000

It had to happen one of these days.

I knew I'd crack and eventually post Twilight geekery. Because that's how I roll.

Today is Myra McEntire's birthday. I sat down at the computer to make her a gift befitting someone as special and loved as she. I thought I'd make something akin to this photo I took of her and Edward a year ago...

...but this time I needed to make something birthday-ish. So I looked up "Twilight Birthday" on google.

The treasure trove of birthday ideas!

Which warranted immediate blog attention, naturally.

Twilighter Birthday Ideas

(You can thank me later.)

If you don't live in the vicinity of your dear Twilighter friend, consider sending a Twilight-inspired birthday e-card. There are hundreds to choose from on the 'Net. These are two of my favorites.

Even in e-card format, Edward manages to ensure us of his undying
perfection. Jake would totally forget your birthday, dontchaknow.

This one...speaks for itself.

Now, if you live near your Twilighter friend, a Twilight-inspired cake or confection is the best way to show your affection.

Vampire cupcakes.
Who wouldn't love these? They totally scream "Happy Birthday!"

This one is confection perfection. I totally LOL'ed when I read it.
LOL'ed with GLEE.

This one looks more like something I'd actually create, if given the
unfortunate chance. Hey, I'm no Mr. Redwine.

And if you find yourself in the awkward position of forgetting your Twilighter friend's birthday (like Jacob would), you can always send a Twilight Easter e-card.

Because that isn't creepy at all.

Happy birthday, Myra!!

Do Your Characters Have Depth? Or Are They All Manic Pixie Dream Girls?

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 22:21:00 +0000

A friend of mine sent me this video because she knows I'm firmly against the Manic Pixie Dream Girl stereotype in literature and film. You know the girl I'm talking about. The one who sweeps a depressed man off his feet, dusts him off, and teaches him to live and love again with her bubbly, bouncy, sugar-high personality.

This, my friends, is her only purpose in the story. Her fundamental role in life is to get her main man back on track again, while teaching him to see the beauty in the world (which he never noticed before).

This video pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject. Even if you're not a hardcore feminist, the main takeaway from learning about the Manic Pixie Dream Girl stereotype is this:

Don't include ANY main character in your story that doesn't have depth. Give each one a life, ambitions, likes, dislikes, a purpose, a family, drive, goals, faults, quirks, shortcomings, dreams. If your character is only there to make your main character "change" or "find himself/herself," then there's more work to be done. Don't stop there.

Delve deeper.

Also, have any of you ever seen this stereotype in reverse? Such as a Manic Macho Dream Boat perhaps? If so, leave a comment in the doobly doo below. I know I've read quite a few male characters who fit the bill--swooping in to teach a buddy how to loosen up and enjoy life, or swooping in to show a free-spirited girl the joys of settling down--but I can't remember the titles off the top of my head. I'll have to do a bit of research on that one because it's worth noting.

Review: Want to Go Private? by Sarah Darer Littman

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 18:31:00 +0000

When I heard Sarah Darer Littman speak to her readers via video chat last winter, I wanted to get my hands on WANT TO GO PRIVATE? immediately. She spoke about a recent news story where the police rescued a teen girl from an Internet predator before they crossed the Canadian border. Only, the thing is, the teen girl didn't see it as a rescue. She had *wanted* to go with the guy, claiming she was in love with him. Sarah said she wondered what would have to happen for a teenager to get to that point -- the point of climbing into a car with a complete stranger and running away with him.

Willingly.

I tried to answer that question myself. I racked my brain and played out dozens of different scenarios in my mind, but I still couldn't understand why a teen girl would agree to meet a stranger she met online. All I could come up with was that she must have been stupid. A smart girl would never do something like that.

That news story compelled Sarah to find out as well. Through conversations with the police and FBI, she found out it wasn't stupidity at all.

Her extensive research led to WANT TO GO PRIVATE?, an in-depth and horrifyingly realistic look into the life of a 14-year-old girl named Abby. By the end of the book, I understood why Abby made the decisions she did. I didn't agree with them, but I understood them. And I no longer think a girl who gets tangled with an Internet predator is stupid. I know now that she's a victim of one of the worst cons on earth.

Sarah weaves a striking and believable teenage world. Abby's just starting her freshman year of high school. Everything is new. Her BFF Faith is making new friends and is involved in new things, like the school play. Abby isn't big on acting--she faints whenever she's in front of a crowd--and she doesn't really like Faith's new buddy, Grace. And the boy situation? Let's just say, it's every bit as confusing as REAL life.

Abby's parents are supposed to be a safe haven for her: the people who love her and listen to her. But they're too busy to notice how alone and scared she feels, just starting high school. She'd love to talk to them about what's bothering her, but they always find a way to brush her off. And Faith hanging out with her new friend Grace all the time isn't helping matters either.

So Abby logs on to ChezTeen.com to interact with other kids her age online. She meets Luke, a cute older guy who likes all the same music she does, and takes the time to listen to her problems. After a couple of weeks, she feels like she and Luke are soul mates. Then after a couple of months, she feels like she's in love.

And she's ready to meet him.

WANT TO GO PRIVATE? shows us exactly how Internet predators "groom" their victims without being preachy. This is a book you'll invest in--not only because the message is so important, but because you'll find yourself truly caring about the characters.

Most of the book is told from Abby's point of view, but after Part 1, we get to hear from her friends and her sister, Lily. This was my favorite aspect of the book. I liked seeing how Abby's decisions affected her friends and family, and how they had to cope with it. We often forget how much our choices affect those we love. I also liked seeing what teens like Abby must go through to heal after mistakes like hers are made. Healing takes time, but the pain from being an Internet predator victim never goes away. This is something every teen should have in the forefront of their mind whenever they log online: The memories and the affects are life-long. They can never be erased.

Will you want to shout at Abby and tell her not to make all the horrible decisions she makes? Yes. Dozens of times. But that won't stop you from reading and discovering how incredibly *simple* it is for Internet predators to con you, your best friend, or your child.

This is one of the most important books I've ever read. It left me shattered, humbled, and horrified. I still can't stop thinking about it. A must-have for every library. Highest of recommendations. 5 stars all the way.

Good Points:
This is one of those books every teen should read.
Darer Littman paints a horrifying and realistic portrait of teen life.

Bad Points:
Not a bad point, just a warning: There are a handful of sexually graphic scenes in this book due to the Internet predator subject matter. Recommended for 14+

Use Pinterest for Handy WIP Research

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 15:25:00 +0000

Are you on Pinterest? If not, you should be.

I've been using it for a few months now, but I'm just now getting the hang of it. Or maybe I'm just now getting addicted. Whichever.

I pin recipes I want to try to virtual bulletin boards, home decorating ideas to save for later, even parenting craft ideas for one of the websites I manage, PluggedInParents.com.

But I found an even more addicting way to use it: WIP Research!

I use Scrivener to piece together my novels and like that I can save inspirational photos on the bulletin board in the program. But Pinterest is much more fun and browsing-friendly. I set up a "board" for my new WIP and started adding photos of things that inspires me. Photos of people/celebrities who remind me of my characters, clothing styles, places/landmarks, anything. Everything.

Here are a few of the photos I pinned to my WIP Research Board this morning. I'll keep adding as I work my way through finishing this draft, then probably start a different board for the next book.

I highly recommend it! If you join, come find me. (http://pinterest.com/mgbuehrlen/) Let's "repin" together.

:)

August Giveaways From YABC!

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 18:46:00 +0000

Don't miss these awesome book giveaways from my book review site, YABooksCentral.com! Here's what we have up for grabs this month:

Enter to win one of 3 The Day Before prize packs from Lisa Schroeder!

Amber’s life is spinning out of control. All she wants is to turn up the volume on her iPod until all of the demands of family and friends fade away. So she sneaks off to the beach to spend a day by herself.

Then Amber meets Cade. Their attraction is instant, and Amber can tell he’s also looking for an escape. Together they decide to share a perfect day: no pasts, no fears, no regrets.

The more time that Amber spends with Cade, the more she’s drawn to him. And the more she’s troubled by his darkness. Because Cade’s not just living in the now—he’s living each moment like it’s his last.

Three lucky winners will receive a copy of The Day Before, along with some awesome SWAG! (Bookmarks, buttons, and a special bag of jelly beans.)

Click here to go to the contest entry form.

Enter to win one of 3 copies of Bargains and Betrayals by Shannon Delany!

Locked away at Pecan Place, Jessie finds her situation to be even more dangerous than she feared. While she struggles to maintain her sanity and discover answers about the group that seems less and less like any legitimate government agency, Pietr fights to keep their relationship alive. But very aware that his mother’s time is running out, Pietr makes a deal he doesn’t dare tell Jessie about. Because the deal Pietr’s made could mean the death of far more than his tenuous relationship with the girl he loves.

Click here to go to the contest entry form.

Enter to win one of 5 copies of Every Minute on Earth by Steve Murrie and Matthew Murrie!

Discover all of the amazing things that can happen around the world in just one day!

You already know all of the amazing things that can happen in just one minute on Earth, so think of what could happen in a whole day! Your taste bud cells are replaced at a rate of 50,000 a day. Almost 40,000 trees are cut down every day just to make paper bags. And a mayfly lives its entire life in a single day. This book is full of fun facts about space, technology, pop culture, food, animals, sports, the human body, and more!

Click here to go to the contest entry form.

Enter to win one of 5 copies of Diary of a Part-Time Ghost by Vered Ehsani!
(Winners will be able to choose between a print copy or an ebook.)

In the first book of the 'Ghosts & Shadows' series, fifteen-year old Ash wants nothing more than to be a normal kid and avoid trouble. And then his birthday gift transforms him into a ghost and zaps him back in time to the beginning of the American Revolution.

If he thought that was bad, it's about to get a whole lot worse. Armed only with an ancient history book and the quirky advice of an annoying mentor, Ash must rescue his ancestor from one danger after another, including an implacable enemy who controls the very shadows. What starts out as a brief experiment in time travel rapidly changes into a race for his very survival, and Ash is running out of time. Despite his efforts to stay out of trouble, Ash finds plenty of it as he must decide what his role will be in the shifting balance of forces.

As he moves through one shadow- plagued adventure after another, Ash gradually discovers that true power lives in the most unexpected place: himself. Humorous and action-packed, Diary of a Part-Time Ghost will hold readers in its grip from the first sentence to the last.

Click here to go to the contest entry form.

Oh, the Places You Will Go! (Otherwise known as: Why Writers Spend So Much Time Online)

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 16:52:00 +0000

Most fiction writer's have blush-worthy and/or FBI-investigation-worthy online search histories.

Last year my palms got sweaty--and I glanced over my shoulder so many times I pulled a muscle--when I scoured Google for "the best locations for growing marijuana in Michigan." I was on my iPhone at a shoe store, giggling to myself.

Not that giggling to myself in public is a strange occurrence...

So yesterday I rattled off all the things I've researched while writing my current novel to my husband. It was quite the eclectic list, so I thought I'd share.

A few recent research topics:

The Chicago Outfit

newspaper prices in 1927

the price of a Model T

1920s fashion

how to jailbreak an iPhone

how to bypass a door locked with an electronic strike

the symptoms and treatment of schizophrenia

when was the Buckingham fountain built?

The Jazz Singer

T. S. Eliot

Jesse James

the first Ferris wheel

the colony of Roanoke

the colony of Jamestown

modern high schools and curriculum in and around Annapolis, MD

farmland in Virginia

The Spanish Armada

custom electronic mods

Bessie Smith

Gershwin

speakeasies and Prohibition

commuting times between D.C., Baltimore, and Annapolis

The Wild West

stagecoach robberies

women's suffrage

The Great Depression

glass insulators

"upsycling"

The Roaring Twenties

recipe for applesauce cake (I was hungry)

Dante's Inferno

Robert Burns

Martin Luther King Jr.

robotics competitions

lost paintings during WWII

1963 Corvette Sting Ray

bobtail cats

Hollywood starlets

Polish neighborhoods in Chicago

how to buy an island

Johns Hopkins

childhood cancers

paradoxes

the theory of relativity

the history of the 'L'

water temperatures of Chesapeake Bay

brick Colonial architecture

sycamore trees

Baltimore Ravens and Orioles

attention seeking behavior disorders

do kids still take auto shop?

So there you have it, a peek into a writer's search engine history. Just in case you wondered why we spend so much time online...

If you're a writer, what's the strangest thing you've ever researched? Leave a comment in the doobly-doo below.

7 Harry Potter Movies in 7 Minutes (for those who need to catch up)

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 16:34:00 +0000

So, a good friend of mine (who will be seeing HP7P2 with us this Friday) said this today: "I've only seen the first Harry Potter film, but I'm sure you can fill me in over dinner."

For all you fellow HP fans, I'm sure you can join me in my muffled guffaws at said friend.

Hi, Cara! :)

It's not that we're making fun. It's just that Harry Potter becomes such a different beast after book 1. The story transforms from fun-children's-magical-mystery to the EPIC of EPICDOM that is the entire series. To summarize it all over dinner would be fun, but sadly lacking. A summary could never do it justice. There are too many details and characters, too many underlying threads that run much deeper than the general storyline.

But knowing my friends and I, we'll tackle the task willingly and stoutheartedly.

Over dinner.

Meanwhile, here's a video I found summing up all 7 films in less than 7 minutes, ending with the trailer for Deathly Hallows Part 2. I thought it was *really* well done. For those of you needing to catch up before Friday, this is for you.

And for all those seasoned HP veterans wanting to revel in the series again, feel goosebumps on your arms, and squeal in delicious anticipation, this is for you, too.

Enjoy.

Food For Thought: The Stigma of Self-Publishing

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 03:02:00 +0000

Self-publishing has been on my mind a lot lately. I've worked with many self-published authors over the past year on yabookscentral.com. I've come across dozens of articles like this one: eBook Sales Growth Over Time, and this one: 2010: The Year Self-Publishing Lost Its Stigma, and this one: How Self-Publishing Came of Age. Even several of my friends have decided to go the self-pub route.

Why? Because it's harder than ever to get a book traditionally published right now, and with a click of a button, you could start selling your ebook on Amazon today.

But as much as I want to believe the self-pub stigma is fading, I'm not yet convinced.

In fact, I'm so unconvinced that the other night I actually dreamed a horde of traditionally published authors locked me inside a huge warehouse...where they banished the self-pubbed writers of the world to keep their work from the reading masses.

Obviously, in my subconscious, the stigma is still there, alive and well. (Even if J.K. Rowling did jump on the bandwagon.) But maybe that's just me.

What do you think? Is the stigma still there? Is it fading? Is it already gone?

Would you ever consider self-publishing? Have you self-published?

If you're not an author, would you ever consider buying a self-published ebook? Have you already?

I'm curious to know your thoughts.

Who Wants to Meet Me at The Max? Go, Bayside!

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 22:54:00 +0000

For the past 6 months, I've been working day and night on the new YABooksCentral.com redesign. I'm not even going to hint at how much work that entailed. It had a lot to do with database tables and redirect scripts and phpAdmin and mySQL and Joomla and a whole lot of other nonsensical words I pray none of you ever need to know.

The closer we got to posting the new site live (which was today -- eep! Go check it out!), the more my stress level inched ever higher. Last night it careened out of control and broke through the thin veil ceiling that was my sanity, thanks to exploding web host servers. (And sub-par Jimmy John's. But that's another topic for another time.)

Finally, this morning, I realized I'd reached my limit. I was officially stressed to the max.

Of course I realized this only after I'd unfurled myself from the fetal position and crawled out from under the piano about 8 times.

That's when it struck me. Not only do I need a safe place to hunker in these times of extreme stress (under the piano is not ideal, just take my word for it), but I need a place that befits the diagnosis: "stressed to the max."

Then something beautiful happened. My hair suddenly crimped itself. I looked down and my jeans were puff-painted and bedazzled. A crazy saxophone solo ripped through the air, my bedroom swirled and tilted, and then I saw it.

The Max.

This is where I need to be today, folks. This is where I will restore my sanity. I think The Max needs to be a real place, don't you? A place where all those weary travelers in the maximum-stress-boat can come to let it all hang out.

Where we can all sip on grape soda from plastic cups with bendy straws.

Where we can eat pizza served by Kelly Kapowski.

Where we can cheer on the Bayside Tigers. B-buh-B-buh-buh-buh-B-Go-Bayside!

And the best part? My booth is big enough for all of you.

Want to join me? I've got room.

So bring your baggage and stress and deadlines and rejections and sad-faces and whatsits and whosits and leave them at the door. (I know you won't recognize The Max from the outside since none of us have ever seen it, but that's okay. I'll tie balloons to the mailbox.)

Come on inside, feel the soothing rhythm of generic 90's background music, and let yourself unwind. We'll have a dance contest (hosted by Casey Kasem, of course), and Slater just might ask you to slow dance to your favorite song on the jukebox.

So who's with me? Who wants to sit in my booth? Tell me in the comments -- and tell me what you want to do at The Max!

It's, like, totally Maxtastic.

Yo. I Made a Book Trailer.

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 17:32:00 +0000

After several years of making web videos for social media purposes, I finally decided to try my hand at a book trailer. I auctioned one off for a good cause a few months ago, and YA author Tammara Webber won the auction.

I've always done live-action film, so utilizing stock video/audio/images was a different experience for me, but I'm happy with the finished product.

Here's what I came up with for her YA contemporary romance, Between the Lines.

GetchaSum: HOURGLASS by Myra McEntire

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 17:03:00 +0000

Not only is Myra McEntire one of the best people I know, her debut novel HOURGLASS is one of my all-time favorite YA books. Hands, elbows, shoulders and knees down.

And it's in stores TODAY.

Go forth and GetchaSum, my friends. You won't be disappointed.

And if you want to know a few of the many reasons why I wouldn't mind snuggling up to Hourglass again and again, click here.

BEA 2011 Roundup (Finally!)

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 00:57:00 +0000

I'm just now able to post about BookExpo America because it's taken me a week to recuperate.

Yes, folks, BEA is that exhausting. My feet were one collective blister by the end of the week. But I'm so glad I got to meet so many of the publishers I work with over at YABooksCentral.com in person. And so many new publishers I look forward to working with in the near future!

I had an amazing time! Here are some of the highlights:

CA Moulton and I at the Kick-Ass Heroine Panel

At the Kick-Ass Heroine Panel at Teen Author Carnival

Sat real close to Michael Moore. Didn't get his autograph though. ;-)

Attended the Children's Book & Author Breakfast with
guest speakers Katherine Paterson, Brian Selznick,
Sarah Dessen, Kevin Henkes, and emcee Julianne Moore.
I got a copy of each of their books and a signed poster
from Julianne.

Totally geeked out to hear Colin Meloy (The Decemberists) talk
about his new MG novel, WILDFIRE.

Got to hang out at Strand Bookstore for a while. Cool old place!
But I learned a valuable lesson: NYC bookstores don't often have
comfy couches on which blistered-feet tourists can drop.
I'm so spoiled by my suburban Borders.

No, New Yorkers don't mind the gap, they watch it.
I did a LOT of commuting by subway and rail with the
lovely Francesca, who was kind enough to let me stay with
her family in Queens. I got to visit 4 out of 5
NYC boroughs. Not too many first-time tourists can say
that, I'm told!

PIZZZZZAAAAAA!!!!!

LOOOOOOOT!!!!!

My lovely tour guide! She taught me how to be a New Yawkah.
(She doesn't know I'm posting this photo. Let's see how
long it takes for her to tell me to take it down.) Teehee!

The luggage I had to BUY to be able to bring all my book loot home
on the plane. Notice how Cat commandeered it as soon as
I unloaded it.

I also got to see Mindy Kaling and Francesca got to meet Temple Grandin. I got to meet the awesome @thebookcellarx, our teen reviewer at YABC, and had coffee with the amazing Sarah Darer Littman.

And I wasn't kidding that I'm just now recuperating. After so many hours of non-stop walking, I parked my butt on the couch and haven't moved in 7 days.

Seh-ven-daze.

Good thing I have so many books to keep me occupied.

: )

Just kidding. They're all going to my faithful YABC reviewers! Huzzah!

Do These Glasses Make My Eyes Look Fat?

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Tue, 10 May 2011 19:06:00 +0000

Last week I had to go to the eye doctor because I'm on my last pair of contacts. This is the 6th eye doctor I've been to in my life, the 4th since moving to Michigan. That's quite a lot, since I've only been in Michigan for 6.5 years, but we'll get to that later.

After my eye exam, a woman behind the reception desk entered my prescription in her computer to see if they had any contacts in stock. Then she frowned and said, "I'm sorry, we'll have to order these. We don't have contacts that go up that high."

I had to stifle a laugh. It reminded me of trying on designer jeans at Anthropologie. The largest size I could find barely fit over my knees. When I asked the sales clerk to get me a larger size, she looked me up and down and said, "We don't sell jeans that big."

Oh, the joys of having hips and bad vision.

I wasn't as offended by the "you have gimpy vision" comment as I was the "you have a fat ass" comment, but it got me thinking: Am I too sensitive? Or are people too insensitive?

Here's the deal: All the eye doctors I've seen here in Michigan have been total jerks.

I know that sounds a bit too coincidental, especially since I'm the common denominator during each eye exam. I know I'm sensitive (I'm a writer, for goodness sake), so the things they've said to me may not bother most people.

But they bothered me.

Here are a few examples:

One day when my husband finished with his eye exam, he came out into the waiting room and asked me to help him pick out some new frames. As I followed him over to the wall of glasses, the male sales clerk (I don't know what they're called -- the people who help adjust your glasses?) in the front laughed and said something like, "Have to get a pair the wife approves of, right?"

I know most people would have just laughed that off, and I'm not usually one to get offended over a somewhat harmless sexist comment like that, but I did. Not only did he lump me into a category of control-freak wives, but his words meant he assumed all wives were controlling about appearance -- no woman would ever let their husband pick out the glasses he preferred. Oh no, she had to make the final decision.

At the same visit, my husband had decided to try contacts for the first time. I was excited for him, and I knew he was somewhat nervous about putting them in for the first time (he didn't believe me that you couldn't feel them), so when they called him back, I went with him to lend some support. The doctor actually barred the doorway with his arm and told me, "We don't need an audience."

That, to me, was so rude that I refused to give him any more of my business.

At the next eye doctor, the moment I walked in the front door, the owner charged up to me and asked if I'd gotten his voicemail message. I said no. He said that they'd called and left a message, asking me to come in a half hour earlier. Because I hadn't, now all of his appointments for the day were going to be late.

I don't think I have to explain why I got offended at that one.

On to the third eye doctor!

Okay, this lady was just incompetent. During my eye exam, the frame on the wall (where they project the letters) had a jagged crease in it, so half the letters had a shadow on them. Plus she hadn't closed the door to the exam room, so the light from the hallway made reading the letters even harder. I told her about this, so she closed the door slightly further, but not all the way. I told her there was a wrinkle in the frame, but she ignored me. In hindsight, I don't think she knew what I meant.

When I got my new glasses, the prescription was wrong. Go figure! Then she proceeded to tell me that the prescription was correct, and that my eyes would get used to them -- that sometimes going from contacts to glasses can feel and look funny.

Um, no.

She had to examine me again, and then I had to wait another 3 weeks for my new lenses to come in.

Fourth doctor! This one was last week. I was recovering from food poisoning, so I was a bit weak when I went in for my exam. I filled out the new patient questionnaire form while I waited, then the doctor went over it with me in the exam room.

"No medications?" he asked.

That's when I remembered, no, wait, I do take medication. I'd started taking medication for my allergies. I laughed and told him I must have forgotten to mark it down.

He handed the form back to me, and in his most condescending voice said, "Why don't you scratch out here -- where you marked no medications -- and write down the medications you actually do take."

Seriously? I must have a face that begs people to treat me like a moron.

Although he was condescending, and he didn't give me much advice about the other concerns I brought up, I figure I'll give him another chance. I was pretty loopy that day. But still, why? Why the rudeness? Why the incompetence?

While I waited to pay for my visit, I heard him usher another woman into his exam room. He recited the same opening sequence he'd said to me verbatim, even using the same exact tonal inflections, like he was parroting himself. Maybe he's just exhausted from repeating the same stuff over and over, day in and day out. I don't know.

But it makes me want to vigilant about being kind, no matter who I'm talking to. I never want to get so bogged down by the monotony of my job that I make someone feel stupid and I don't even notice it.

I never want to make someone feel inferior because of their intelligence, their body, their color, their beliefs, or whatever else, because I'll never know the issues they're working through at that moment. I need to assume everyone is going through something big, because they are.

Even when they say they're fine.

Our words cause a ripple effect each time we utter them -- no matter how harmless they may seem -- and we aren't often confronted with the damage they cause. So if the goal is kindness, always kindness, how can we fail?

I know I'm going to miss the mark, possibly every day for the rest of my life. But I'm choosing right now to aim for the bullseye.

The Hidden Places (or Who Blogs in April, Anyway?)

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Wed, 04 May 2011 16:11:00 +0000

Apparently I have a thing against April. No blogging allowed, it would seem.

Either that or I found myself swamped with projects...

Yes! That was it!

Never fear, April-lovers, I have nothing against your fair month. In fact, my husband's birthday is in April, and since he's such a great husband (no really, he is) we usually celebrate all month long. It was a good one this year, and I'm pretty sure he's bummed now that we have to go back to celebrating the gift of my birth for the rest of the year.

He gets one month, I get eleven. Seems fair, don't you think?

I kid.

I really only get one day. Well, not even a whole day. More like a birthhour.

Here are a few things that rocked my April:

- Grand Rapids, Michigan
Okay so maybe that doesn't sound so great right off the bat, but I'd never been there before and honestly, it's a pretty cool city. It's super clean (I guess Dutch Christian reformists like a clean city?), laid out fairly well (especially when you're from the Detroit area like I am), and I had some of the best food EVER. I stayed in a posh hotel, saw one of the most intense hail storms of my life, and got to practice more with my new camera. It was all good.

- Tapas
Never had tapas before, but I knew I'd love it. Tiny plates of delicious Spanish food meant for sharing? That's like my personal mission statement. Give me food! Give me lots of different kinds! Let me steal some from your plate! Etc. It was a match rivaling the likes of eHarmony. We dined at San Chez Bistro (came highly recommended, and now I'm passing the recommendation on to you for, yanno, when you find yourself in Grand Rapids, MI). The black bean and quinoa cakes were HAmazing. I'm pretty sure I had dreams about them for several days afterward.

*takes a moment to dream again*

- Brioche French Toast

OMC. Why hasn't anyone told me about this decadent breakfast treat before?! In all honestly, probably because I can't have dairy, so people who love me were trying to spare me a week of unbearable agony. But gah! It's worth the pain, folks! Especially the French toast I had at Red Jet Cafe, also in Grand Rapids. (Another recommendation heading your way. I think you should start planning your trip to GR for the near future.) This French toast was more like a bread pudding compared the regular blah kind I make at home. Even the hubs said he didn't want French toast at home anymore. We're now ruined by it. I guess I'll have to learn how to make it. I didn't even bat an eye at the through-the-roof calories.

*takes a moment to dream about Brioche French toast*

*wonders if I can make it lactose-free*

- Take this job and shove it!
For the past 7 years, I've worked for my husband's business, sometimes full-time, sometimes part-time. Lately I've been only filling in one day a week, but my own projects have taken off so much in the past year that I finally had to walk away from the job. I wrestled with the idea for a long time, but having done it, I feel like a huge burden has been lifted. I'm now free to focus entirely on my own businesses and my writing. We've spent many years building his business to what it is today and I'm proud of all we've accomplished with it. But running three separate companies is rough. Now I'm down to two, and they're much more easily manageable. I mention it here because I'm so excited about having an extra day a week to do my own thing! Like practice making Brioche French toast.

- Five Guys Burgers & Fries

Never been to Five Guys either. I guess y'all have been keeping it from me too. But now that I know about it, you can't keep me out of the secretive Five Guys Club. I'm in for the long haul.

Best fast food burgers, period.

- The Decemberists
For the hubs' birthday, I planned to take advantage of a great airfare deal and fly us to Ireland for a weekend to see Mumford and Sons. Sadly, all the shows on their Ireland tour were already sold out by the time I gave birth to this genius idea. So instead, we opted for Grand Rapids to see The Decemberists. Same diff, yeah?

The concert was great! I'm getting a bit too old to stand up the entire time, but if the senior citizens next to me could do it, then dernit, so could I. (I'm not kidding - the age range at this show was amazing. Little kids dancing in the aisles and sleeping on chairs all the way up to gray-haired couples sporting walkers. I loved it!) Oh, and Colin Meloy is hilarious. I also got to see Sara Watkins, one of my all-time favorite musicians/singers. Excellent evening all around.

Here's a bit of my girl, Sara, singing with The Decemberists. A highlight of the evening, indeed. (Not my own video. I would never tape during a show. *smiles innocently*)

- Hidden places
I've been walking around my town a lot more lately, just to get in the exercise I need. I don't use the car unless it's raining, bitterly cold, or if I need it to haul a trunk full of groceries. But if I'm just going to the bookstore to browse, the movie theater, a restaurant, or even to pick up a package from the post office, I'll walk it. It's only about 3-4 miles round trip, but it gets my heart rate up, I have a couple hours of computer-screen-free time, I get to be outdoors, and I discover things. Hidden things that the folks in my town have long forgotten, due to all the development.

This past weekend I discovered an abandoned junk yard right in the heart of town. Bordered on all sides by subdivisions, railroad tracks, and industrial buildings, it seems no one remembers it's there. It reminded me of the junk yard in The Sandlot, sans fence. As the hubs and I walked through, we couldn't help but worry that a huge junk yard dog would jump out, foaming at the mouth.

But the place was deserted. Rusted out classic cars sat unmoved for ages, their tires buried in the earth. Two railroad cars lay on their side, half consumed by tall grasses. There were several shacks with dirt-smeared windows, but I was too timid to peek inside on this trip. Maybe next time.

Past the junk yard was a swath of forest where we found remains of a campfire, a hunting blind, and a deer carcass that had been torn apart and "enjoyed" in several different places. Even in the center of all the hustle and bustle, a pack of coyotes (I would imagine) thrive and eat their fill.

On the way home, back through the hidden places, we stumbled across the fire department doing training drills in one part of the forest. I guess they know it's a good spot to go undetected. Two of them were high up in the ladder thing-a-ma-jig, spraying a white mass of water into the trees. The hubs and I got a bit wet. And we loved every minute of it.

You just don't see that kind of stuff everyday when you live downtown like we do.

But maybe I will more often, now that I'm no longer afraid to trek through the hidden places.

The Ranting Fog (When Not to Blog)

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 16:42:00 +0000

When I see/hear of/read about an injustice -- any injustice, large or small -- my first reaction is to overreact. I get angry and frustrated. I want to fix things. Smash things. Stab things.

And I often want to release all that pent-up frustration in a 20,000-word blog post.

But something special happens when we stop and let that frustration steep inside us a little longer. The intense urge to stab at the keyboard subsides, and logic and kindness come into the mix. When we allow that to happen, and we still feel the urge to blog about the topic, more people are inclined to listen.

I've thought about this a lot lately, having seen a few authors lash out online at reviewers recently. It's so obvious to everyone else that they've lashed out in anger and frustration. They jumped head first into an argument before opening themselves up to logic and kindness. They never gave the fog time to settle so they could see and speak clearly.

When we toss our ideas up online while we're amid that great hazy fog, people are less likely to listen, even if what we have to say is important and right.

When we speak kindly, we aren't giving up our passion about the subject (which is how I often feel in the heat of the moment), we're simply presenting our ideas in a more appealing way. Others are much more likely to get on board, to take our hand and join in our cause, when we're kind, compassionate, sure-footed, and able to see and acknowledge other sides of an argument.

Luckily for me, I have special friend ninjas who are willing to listen to me rant as I find my way through the fog. I know the world-wide-web isn't the place for that. Ranting is something I'll probably never be able to give up, but I know it's meant to be a private thing, shared with those who can understand my heat-of-the-moment gibberish.

And even if I could express my frustration in a clear and concise manner (like many others can), people aren't going to want to jump on board while I have my claws out.

Period.

It just makes us look bad. And scary. Like this:

I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be approachable online. I don't want to be known as that chick who gets up on a soapbox about everything, gets ticked off when someone doesn't read my FAQ, drags others through the mud because of some perceived slight, and so on.

Above all, be kind.

That goes for the Web too. Let that initial fog settle, wait for the sun, then step forth. Clarity is a powerful thing.

I don't know about you, but I'd rather join hands and fight injustice with this guy, because I know he's not going to rip me to shreds if we don't see eye-to-eye on every subject or detail.

I like to surround myself with happy cats. Cool cats. Deep, passionate thinkers who know how to control their claws. They wait for that fog to settle before making their statement, and they speak from the heart with logic and kindness.

That's who I want to be.

I want you to know I care about you, your thoughts, your opinions, your lifestyle. I care about it all. And if I make someone feel like they're stupid simply to satiate my own frustration, I hope I have a friend ninja nearby to bring it to my attention.

So I can make things right.

Because that's one of the foundational pillars, friends. Kindness, love, logic -- it leads to a better world.

"In 900 years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important."

~ The Eleventh Doctor