Random Musings - M.G. Buehrlen

Foto Friday - The Thorne Rooms

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 15:57:00 +0000

The hubs and I gallivanted off to Chicago for a much-needed weekend retreat. It was blisteringly cold, but so worth it.

A highlight of the trip? I finally got to see the Thorne Rooms at the Art Institute. For this week's Foto Friday, here are a few examples of the insane craftsmanship you'll find there. I highly recommend seeing these miniature rooms in person. They are 100% crafted to scale with real building materials - real wood plank floors, tile, copper, silver, velvet, silk, etc. The exhibit was one of the most fascinating I've ever seen.

With a peek inside each room, we were immediately transported to other worlds. When we were done looking in at all the rooms and it was time to venture out into the real world again, it was like coming up for air and shaking off the fog of time travel.

Everything is hand-painted.

Look at the little china tea cups and saucers!

Look at the hand-woven rug, the detail on the table, the silk wall tapestry.

Oh, look, we're in Paris.

Look at the little wooden doll on the chair! Gah!

Real silver or pewter serving dishes and candlesticks. Smaller than my fingernail.

Teensy reading glasses!

Every drawer pulls out, every book has microscopic print on its pages.

What I wouldn't give to sit at a table like this and have coffee and scones.
Look at the oil lamp!

A real spinning wheel. I just can't.

The New York Times in miniature. Gah.

Bottom line, make a point to go see the Thorne Rooms the next time you're in Chicago. The inspiration and ideas will pour and rush like opened floodgates.

Which little details did you notice in these photos? Let me know in the comments. There's so much to see! It's impossible to notice it all.

Foto Friday: Just Another Day in Detroit

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 19:20:00 +0000

Day in Detroit, a set on Flickr.

We took a trip to Detroit for a day to search for vinyl, watch the ice skaters, and sip on espresso.

It was a great day, albeit a little too cold and blustery.

Here are a few of our photos from the day, showing that there is vibrant life in Detroit, even if I've only been showing you the decay recently. (Although I did throw in an old Tiger Stadium sign that's rusted through. They demolished the stadium across the street from the sign, and all that's there now is a huge stretch of prairie land. Surreal, in a way.)

I highly recommend Hello Records for some groovy conversation and great vinyl selection. Astoria Pastry Shop has some great coffee, although the pastries we tried were a little lacking. Yanno, compared to what Grandma makes at home.

Enjoy.

Foto Friday - Exploring Detroit Ruins Part 3

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 16:41:00 +0000

Last set of photos from my first urban exploring tour in Detroit. These were taken by my husband on his cell phone. It always amazes me how well cell phone cameras can still capture the stark beauty.

A wall of windows - all that remains of this section of the Packard Plant.

Another free-standing wall of the Packard Plant. There is a gash torn through the wall to the right of the door, and you can see through to another crumbling section beyond.

A gorgeous blue sky shines above the ruins. Nature continues to do its work.

A tree? A hill? Nope! A house completely covered in vines. Miraculously, someone still lives here. (And she doesn't like people taking photos. RUN AWAY!)

Broken window, broken fountain, abandoned high school.

It's been 9:36 in this classroom for a loooooong time.

The boy's bathroom in this abandoned high school. A carpet of moss. Only lonely urinal.

Guess what we found stamped into the floor of an abandoned Catholic church? Surprise!

There is still life in Detroit. The elixir of life, that is.

Foto Friday: Exploring Detroit Ruins - Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 18:27:00 +0000

Thanks for all the awesome feedback about my first Exploring Detroit Ruins segment on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr. Thought you might like to see a few more images from my trip. Enjoy.

Signs of an ancient civilization!

The motto of Detroit. You see it written on everything.
Maybe this should be a Christmas card.
Merry Christmas from Detroit!

The Packard Plant in various stages of decay. This is natural destruction, not caused by man like so many other Detroit ruins. (Which are often caused by arson and metal scrapping.)

Inside an old apartment building. Now it's just a skeleton. Steel beams are warped by fire. Trees stand tall where the lobby used to be.

The pillars in this church are crumbling due to freeze and thaw. Brick by brick, they peel away.

An old rotary phone in the chemistry lab at an abandoned high school.

The chemistry lab. Blackboards have been removed, but people still draw in it's absence.
Hey look, Detroit's motto!

Looking out of a window of the abandoned high school, there are rows of more abandoned buildings. Deserted streets and buildings for as far as the eye can see. Eerily quiet. Truly felt like we were the last people on earth.

Another sign of an ancient civilization - the Dewey Decimal System.

A corridor in the high school. The hubs is crawling over a half door to explore. Behind me, there's an open doorway he could've just stepped through. Ha.

There are thousands of these gutted homes in Detroit. Gaping eyes, mouths. Empty souls.

This used to be a road in Detroit. Now nature has reclaimed it.

If you go urban exploring anywhere, here's my advice:
DON'T EAT THE PAINT.

Foto Friday: Exploring Detroit Ruins

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 20:26:00 +0000

I love old things. If it's rusty and half-buried in the ground, I want to touch it, photograph it, dust it off and imagine what its life was like when it was new.

Because of this, I have a morbid fascination with exploring dilapidated, abandoned homes hidden down backroads in the Missouri foothills. My favorite find? An old-west style general store, still stocked to the brim with canned goods, with a cash register the size of a Buick covered in layers of dust.

When I moved to Michigan several years ago, I knew I wanted to go urban spelunking in Detroit one day, I just didn't know how. Dangerous neighborhoods + dangerous buildings = Probably ain't gonna happen. But then I came across the tours link on http://www.detroiturbex.com/. Before I knew it, the Hermit Guard and I were traipsing around Detroit, squeezing under fences, climbing crumbling staircases, and snapping photos along the way.

Here are a few of our photos. Our good camera told us it was fully charged when we left the house, but then cackled and said, "SYKE!" once we got to Detroit. We were forced to capture our adventure with our cell phones.

BUT!

I plan to go on many more tours, so I'm not too disappointed in the lack of photographic goodness. At least you get to see the gist. And there are even MO' BETTAH photos on http://www.detroiturbex.com/.

These are from an abandoned church:

Someone thought it would be fun to graffiti-fy the altar.

Someone else decided it would be fun to push the pipe organ off the balcony.

Here you can see the pillars almost completely stripped bare from wear.

This happy surprise was in the narthex of the church. Such beauty!

These photos are from an abandoned high school building. We spent over an hour there, and we still didn't get to see everything.

I kept thinking about post-apocalyptic scenarios. After a hundred years, what would future generations think about the text books they might stumble upon? Our history, our geography. School books would be priceless!

Would they know about our ancient technology? Would these rolls of projection film be fascinating to them?

Chemicals and first aid supplies would likely be hoarded like gold.

Would they know what this was used for?

Grainy pic, but this is the old high school swimming pool. Bricks have caved in from the ceiling. Pools of sunlight now spill in here and there like spotlights. There is standing water at the deep end.

After a few years, soggy ceiling tiles become a carpet of moss.

And then, in the center of the cafeteria, a forest grows.

This was my favorite spot. So eerie, yet so full of life and wild beauty.

Trees and vines crowd around old desks and chairs.

These images are from the abandoned Packard Plant.

I half expected to see WALL-E zip by singing show tunes.

You really feel like you're in a post-apocalyptic world. And it's dangerous -- metal scrappers will fight till the death to protect their territory.

Hulking skeleton buildings with mounds of debris at their feet, all colorfully spray painted by the locals.

I can honestly say I'm addicted to urban exploring now. I can't wait for my next trip.

Some Random Birthday Photoshopping

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Wed, 03 Oct 2012 01:33:00 +0000

This blog post goes out to my lovely Friend Ninja, Myra McEntire. Some of you may remember two years ago today, when I photoshopped Myra into a rather snuggly photograph with Robward. And some of you may remember one year ago today, when I hooked Myra up with some epic Twilighter birthday cakes.

But today is not a Twilight-themed day.

Today is a Tardis Blue kind of day.

Today, Myra McEntire becomes.....

Doctor Myra!

That's right! Bask in the glory of my speed-photoshopping skills! Bask in iiiiiit!

No, Doctor Myra #11 doesn't have an ear, but that's totally okay because she's the DOCTOR.

Happy Birthday, Myra.

Till next year!

Nine Years Ago Today...

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 14:34:00 +0000

Nine years ago today, this gal:

married this piece of pecan pie:

NO! She married this guy:

And life became an endless merry-go-round of adventure.

There have been road trips galore, a total of three pet adoptions, countless Simpsons viewings, camping all over the US (our favorite was Beaver Island), Cinematic Titanic shows, lots of napping, and plenty of tom foolery on YouTube.

Who knew these two crazy kids would be married 2 years after meeting in a cornfield at a music festival and bonding over HTML coding?

After dating for two years in Chicago, they officially owned the town. They still visit every now and then to walk the streets of their old stomping grounds and have a candlelit dinner down in Brick's Pizza's katacomb.

Now they're old fuddy-duddies who own their own businesses. They work 24/7, hopped up on coffee and allergy meds, but still find time to look cute in photographs:

There've been good times and bad times, ups as well as downs, but they wouldn't change a thing.

Happy anniversary to the database ninja, the coffee provider, the Lake Michigan beach bum, the sand dune leaper, the one who listens to me ramble for hours, the one who encourages my writing above all else, the campfire starter, the cat wrangler, the carry-out delivery guy, the water-skiing addict, the hot guy I get to wake up to, the love of my life, the best friend a girl could have.

Here's to much more fun in the future.

My DIY Treadmill Desk

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 19:22:00 +0000

Many of you already know I'm always looking for new ways to get off my Writer's Butt. Writing for most of the day takes a huge toll on your body, and it's important to make time in your writing schedule to move. (Like hitting the local Renaissance Festival like we did this month. Huzzah!)

Our bodies are built to walk most of the day, but since the advent of desks and comfy office chairs, our bodies haven't been doing what they're meant to do. In a way, sitting most of the day could be considered a type of neglect. Our muscles, our joints — they all get neglected (and usually sore!) when we don't give them the movement they need.

I tried a standing desk for a while, but I kept finding myself slouching against the desk, thus hurting my back. So I went one step further and built a treadmill desk. I figured if I kept moving, then I couldn't slouch, and I'd keep myself upright. Plus, I'd burn some calories. It seemed a win-win.

Naturally, I had questions about using a treadmill desk:

Will I be able to type while I'm walking? I can barely sip coffee while walking without sloshing it down my shirt and smacking into a tree.

The answer? Yes!

You won't be running or jogging while you type, you'll be walking at the lowest setting. I set mine to 1.5 miles per hour — much slower than a normal walking pace, which is about 2-3 mph — so I barely bob up and down. My upper torso stays almost completely still. Plus, when I rest my arms on the desk, they anchor my wrists so typing is as easy as typing at a regular desk. Even using the mouse is easy and feels natural. I can do detailed Photoshop work, down to the exact pixel, without issue. I can scribble notes on a piece of paper. I can use my iPhone. I can sip my coffee. I can do everything I did while sitting at a desk. Bonus? I can dance while I walk. Oh. and. yeah.

Won't I get seasick staring at the monitor while I'm moving?

Nope! Well, I don't. Maybe someone who's extremely sensitive might, but I doubt it. I can't even look down at my phone in a moving vehicle without getting carsick, but I've never gotten the hint of sickness while on the treaddesk. Why? Because you're eyes are focused on one spot straight ahead of you. You know how a dancing instructor tells you to lock your eyes on one spot on the wall when you spin? Or a yoga instructor tells you to lock your eyes on a spot on the wall to help you maintain your balance? It's the same idea. You lock your eyes on your monitor. If your head is lifted (you shouldn't be looking down at your laptop screen), your body is upright, and you're walking at a very slow pace, you shouldn't get sick. Sometimes when I'm done walking for an hour or so, I feel a bit dizzy when I step down from the treadmill, but I've never been dizzy while walking on it.

Won't a treadmill desk take up a lot of room?

Depending on how you build it, it shouldn't take up any more room than a regular desk and office chair. The sled of the treadmill slides halfway underneath your desk, so it barely takes up any extra room at all.

Won't it be loud and disruptive to the rest of the house?

It doesn't have to be. If you get a good treadmill that's quiet, and you keep it lubricated, it shouldn't make that much extra noise. I have a small air conditioner in the window next to mine, and the air conditioner makes more noise than the treadmill. Again, you're using the lowest setting. There shouldn't be much noise coming from the motor at all.

Won't it be expensive?

Again, it doesn't have to be. You can buy a pre-made deal for around 3 grand from www.treaddesk.com, which comes with the treadmill sled, a control pad, and an adjustable height desk. But I built mine for around $375. (Details below.)

Won't I get sweaty and stuff?

Yup! But that's good. It means you're doing something good for your body. And you can have an air conditioner or fan pointed right at you while you walk, like I do.

How long will it take to get used to walking while typing?

Not long. Some say it takes anywhere from a week to two weeks of using it everyday to get used to it. I've been using mine every other day for about 3 weeks now, and I'm very used to it. My back did hurt a bit the first few days, but that goes away once your muscles build up. Now I don't even notice I'm walking. Plus, building up your back muscles helps with your posture.

Aren't treadmills lame?

Um, no. Just take a look at this.

Okay! So, now that I've proved my point quite handedly, and a lot of the most pondered questions have been answered, I'll get to the build process. You definitely don't have to go the same route I did (use your creativity, baby!), but I wanted to show you that you could have a fully functioning treaddesk for under $500 by the end of next weekend. (There are other build options detailed at the end of this post.) Here we go!

Materials we used:

1 used treadmill, found at a local sports consignment store - $165

We bought a TX 4.9 by Sportcraft. It was on sale!

If you don't have a sports consignment store near you, just use Craigslist. You don't need a pretty treadmill, or even a new one. You just need one that works. Remember, you'll only be going around 1.5 - 2 mph on it. And if you don't like how the upper control panel looks, don't worry! You'll be removing that part (and the hand rails) anyway. All you're looking for is the bottom sled. Look for one that is extra wide, if you can. It's easier to walk on a wider sled. With the narrow ones, you'll probably be stepping on the sides more than you'd like.

1 VIKA AMON table top from Ikea - $26

The table top we used is 59" wide (to accomodate the wide treadmill sled underneath) and 29 1/2" deep. It already has holes drilled underneath for Ikea legs, but we built our own legs, since we needed a specific height. You can drill new holes into the bottom of the table top as needed, no problem. Just don't drill too far or you'll break through the top.

1 Monitor Mount Bracket - $28

This is used to lift your monitor to eye level while standing on the treadmill. It's not advised to be looking down at a monitor or laptop. You want your chin lifted and eyes straight at all times. This keeps your back straight and limits slouching. Plus, you can move your monitor around like a BOSS.

1 widescreen monitor - $100

We bought this HP flat panel LCD monitor at Best Buy. It was on sale for $100. Can't beat that! You want a large screen since you'll be standing further back from it than you would with your laptop. This monitor isn't the greatest, but it does the trick. Make sure to get a monitor with the four mounting holes on the back like in the picture above. Some newer monitors don't come with these. You'll need one that does if you're going to mount it to the monitor bracket. The monitor stand should come off very easily.

1 mini DisplayPort to DVI adaptor - $5

You'll need one of these to connect your laptop display to your flatscreen monitor, if you're using that set up. This one is for a macbook. If you buy it at the Apple store, it's over 20 bucks. We got ours on Amazon for $5.

* 1 external keyboard and mouse - $0

This is optional. We already had an extra external keyboard and mouse, but if you don't, I highly recommend it. Using your laptop keyboard won't be as comfortable for your wrists as a keyboard made for a desktop.

Assorted cedar lumber from HomeDepot for the legs and supports - $50

We used two thick 4x4s for the legs (each cut in half to make 4 pieces), then built extra supports to keep the table top from wobbling side to side. Remember, this desk will be a lot taller than a regular desk, table, or standing desk, because you'll add another 4 inches or so to your height once you stand on the treadmill. You'll need thick legs and extra bracing to make sure it's sturdy. You should be able to find a good tutorial online for building table legs and supports, if you're building the legs yourself like we did. Measure carefully and accurately. It's helpful to draw your plans on graph paper before you purchase your materials.

* Slide-out Keyboard Tray - $0

This is optional. We placed the treadmill control panel on the slide-out tray, but you can just put the control panel housing on your desk if you want to forego this step. We already had a keyboard tray from another desk we built a few years ago, so this didn't cost us anything. But you can get one on Amazon for around $15. The advantage is that the unsightly control panel slides out of the way when you're not using it. (Photos below.)

Total = $374

Step 1)

Purchase your treadmill and bring it home. Unhook the control panel cord from the sled, and remove the side bars and large, plastic control panel housing. We took the actual circuit board out of the control panel housing and just used that. Kind of reminds me of Short Circuit. "No disassemble Number Five!"

We used a handy rubberband to keep the safety switch always activated. This isn't advised in the owner's manual, but since you'll be walking slower than a snail, there shouldn't be any risk of falling. Unless your name is CJ Redwine. Then you might want to stay far, far away from treadmills in general.

Since I'm an uber-nerd and I used to solder circuit boards together for fun as a kid, this setup doesn't bother me. Nothing on the board is going to shock you — it's completely safe. You still have your speed buttons, timer, distance ticker, calorie counter, stop button, etc. You just don't have the pretty stickers that say STOP or SPEED. However, the circuit board should have those words printed beneath the buttons. Since you only use two buttons, though, it should be simple to remember which is which.

One should hope...

If you're not comfortable with this set-up, then you can keep the large, plastic control panel housing as is. Ours was really big, like this:

The housing will take up more room and you might need a larger slide-out tray underneath your desktop to accommodate it. I like how small the circuit board is, and I like that it can slide out of the way when not in use. Then when I need to stop, the buttons are right within reach.

Set all these pieces aside.

Step 2)

Stand on the treadmill sled with socks and shoes on. Measure the height your desktop needs to be. Your forearms should be straight out from your elbows, making a perfect 90 degree angle. Measuring to the bottom of your elbows should do the trick. That's the height of your desk. This requires very careful measuring because you are building the desk to your specific height. If anyone else will be using the desk, you might want to get an adjustable height desk. However, these will set you back a pretty penny. For my height, I needed my desk to be 46 1/4 inches tall.

Step 3)

Purchase the table top. We bought ours from IKEA, but you can get a nice, wooden table top from Home Depot too. You might need to sand it or paint/stain it. The table tops from IKEA are inexpensive and already finished.

Step 4)

Design how you want to build your legs and purchase your materials. Here's how we built ours, and it's super sturdy:

Step 5)

Build the desk! Remember to measure carefully so that the top of the desk is the right height for you while standing on the treadmill sled.

Step 6)

Purchase your optional items, like an external monitor, mounting bracket, keyboard, mouse, and slide-out tray. Assemble these and attach them to your desktop. It should look something like this:

I chose to push my desk up against a wall so the cords aren't as visible, and I have easy access to a power outlet.

Step 7)

Slide the treadmill sled halfway underneath your desk. Attach the circuit board power cord to the sled. Plug in your treadmill and your computer, and you're good to go! Your circuit board should light up and you can start controlling the sled.

Sorry for the fuzzy iPhone photos.

Step 8)

Paint your desk legs so the desk looks finished. I haven't gotten to that part yet.

Step 9)

Decorate your new writing room. (Haven't gotten to that part yet, either, but hopefully you get the gist.)

Pros and cons of other build options:

I saw this dude just built a shelf above his treadmill for his treaddesk. This might work for you, however I wanted my desk built to my exact height for ergonomic reasons. Depending on the height of the treadmill control panel, building a shelf above it might raise the keyboard too high for some. Plus, I wanted to be able to move the desk around if I wanted. I also wanted a deeper surface so I could write on it, or spread notes out. And I didn't want to stand that close to my monitor.

The pro of his design, however, is that anyone can do it. You don't have to be a handy person or have power tools at your disposal.

I've also seen this solution, where you simply place a board over the hand rests of the treadmill. This is another super cheap idea because you're only out the money for the treadmill and the board. However, notice how low his laptop is? How his forearms are angled downward? This isn't ergonomically correct for typing. Also, he's looking down instead of keeping his eyes straight ahead. This is going to hurt his back and neck. But, it's super cheap, super easy, and might work for those who aren't going to spend too much time on the treadmill desk. I, however, want to be able to spend upwards of 8 hours on my treadmill desk, if I'm in the CANNOT STOP writing mode.

This dude lifted the board to a better, ergonomic height, but the monitor is still a bit too close for my taste. You'll also have to choose a treadmill with hand rests that are flat and even on both sides to accommodate the board. My treadmill's hand rests were sloping, so there was no way I could have placed a board on top of them.

All in all, I chose to do mine this way. There are tons of articles online about different ways to build your treadmill desk. Find one that's right for you! The bottom line is -- it doesn't have to cost you a fortune, you can have one set up in a matter of days, and no matter what, it'll get you moving.

Let me know if I've missed anything and I'll add more info to this post. If you have questions, please feel free to leave them in the comments. I'd also love to see photos of your treaddesk, so leave me a link. Happy treading!

Monday's Muse: The Human Spirit

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Mon, 20 Aug 2012 20:05:00 +0000

I think this goes for art as well. Sometimes art is best in its rawest form: the scribbles in a sketchbook, the poetic phrases jotted on diner napkins. There's something beautiful about the unpolished, the unkempt.

Monday's Muse: Go Forth. Make Art.

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Mon, 30 Jul 2012 13:30:00 +0000

Foto Friday: A Michigan-Style Staycation

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 23:10:00 +0000

(Yes, I totally just used the word "staycation." Mostly just to annoy you.)

I shall break from my crazy day of leaky windows, flooded basement, 8 surprise hairballs from the kitten, and an emergency evacuation of my house due to a gas leak to bring you Foto Friday!

A few weeks ago, one of my besties and her family came to visit us for a week. We wanted to show them the best southern Michigan has to offer, so here's a glimpse at our chosen activities.

A Day in Detroit

What's a trip to southern Michigan without a day in Detroit?

No, I'm not kidding. Why do you ask?

Detroit's Eastern Market

Piggyback time at the Eastern Market

I absolutely loved this place! It was our first time to the Eastern Market, even though we live just outside the city. All local meat, produce, plants and flowers. Great prices, too! We got all of our food for the week here, and let me tell ya -- we dined like KINGS.

We also shopped a lot of cute, artsy places in Midtown (like City Bird) that support local artists.

The girls, trying on fashion shades.

This t-shirt was my favorite find. :)

You really should.

We had lunch at Good Girls Go to Paris -- crepes all around!

Banana and caramel crepe from Good Girls Go to Paris.
The little roast beef and brie number was the best savory crepe, by far!

Oh, and we also stopped by this snobby coffee shop where I took this pic of Diva Baby. Yanno, the kind of place where they kick you out if you want flavored syrup? The Bestie asked for a hazelnut breve and received ALL THE DEATH DAGGERS.

We were also the only folks in the place with kids. We got more death-dagger-glares from the customers. And not from the noise -- from JUST associating with little ones. GASP! Seriously, young hipsters, stop glaring at people with kids. Kids do NOT equal oozing goiters.

Diva Baby ≠ Oozing Goiter

We also did a mini-tour of the ruined buildings around Midtown. We drove past the ruined homes of Brush Park. And here's the long-abandoned Michigan Central Station:

Some call it "Detroit's Greatest Eyesore," while others fight to restore it to its former glory.

Road Trip Out West
We had to take our friends to Lake Michigan.
No trip is complete without waves, sand dunes, and sunburn.

Bestie and Diva Baby making waves

It was freezing! The water doesn't usually get warm until around August/September.

On our way back east, we stopped in Grand Rapids for tapas and an impromptu jam session on a grassy knoll by the river. Grand Rapids is one awesome town.
You should stop by if you ever get a chance.

Slummin' Around Town
We hung out at home the rest of the time, cooked some good grub, played in the sprinklers, and saw what our tiny hometown had to offer.

Daily rides to the playground in the Radio Flyer were a must.

Annnnnd we broke out the piano, which is always a treat for the youngins.

Future concert pianists

Of course the Bestie and I took a day for ourselves to go shopping at ALL THE PLACES.

Trying on hats at Anthro

Trying on aprons at Anthro...

Checking out a Chewbacca chair at Leon & Lulu's

Lunch at Toast (we had the eggs benedict - delish!)

It took about 3 weeks to recover from all that fun.

Hope you've had fun this summer!

Some Thoughts on Suffering

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 22:15:00 +0000

I've been thinking a lot about suffering lately. I've watched close friends and family go through struggle after struggle in recent months, and it doesn't seem to be letting up. I've had my share of battles as well, more than usual it seems, and honestly, I'm ready for this year to be over.

It's in our nature to want to live a pain-free life. We may tiptoe around certain areas, or become hermits in others, just to avoid the slightest chance of pain. Or rejection. Or humiliation.

This is totally normal.

But suffering is going to come. There's no avoiding it. And I'm here to say that there are wonderful, amazing, life-altering things that come as a result of suffering. It's why "bad things happen to good people." It's why "God allows suffering in this world."

Look at all the hell we writers put our characters through in our novels. Why do we put them through so much suffering? Because when we suffer, we grow stronger. We persevere. We triumph. Without suffering (or obstacles), we would have nothing to overcome. Without suffering in literature, we wouldn't have those great stories that keep us up until 3am by lamplight.

We wouldn't have Katniss and Peeta.

We wouldn't have Frodo Baggins.

We wouldn't have Harry.

We wouldn't have Jane Eyre or Scarlet O'Hara or any other great hero or heroine.

Or any other novel for that matter.

As writers, we wouldn't dream of telling a story without obstacles. It wouldn't be a very interesting story! We make our characters suffer because wading through all that misery changes nobodies into somebodies. And we love reading about the somebodies.

Here are a few reasons why suffering is a good, necessary part of our lives. It may hurt like hell, but when we come out the other side, we're better people.

#1) It makes us grateful human beings.

When we suffer, we tend to be more thankful for the little things we usually take for granted. We stop and appreciate the good days and the good people who love us. This is important, and we tend to forget to do this when everything's going our way. Suffering helps us keep our egos in check.

#2) It helps us focus.

When everything falls apart, it's a lot easier to re-establish our end goals. They become clearer, and we reform that fierce vigor we had when we first set our mind to them (whatever "they" may be). It's that charged moment in every book where the protagonist truly thinks about giving up. Only then can he or she find the strength within to plow forward and come out a champion.

#3) It brings us closer together.

You will never share true closeness with another person unless you share in their suffering. When two people come together and grieve for each other, it creates a bond unlike anything else. It fosters trust in relationships. It makes us feel like we matter, which makes us feel more alive.

So, I know it's hard to live through in the moment, but I urge you to take suffering as a good sign.

It means better things are coming your way.

Freaking Fantastic Monkey Racing

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 01:58:00 +0000

My husband, The Hermit Guard, failed to inform me that there were MONKEY JOCKEYS racing DOGS at the local fair last week.

I kid you not.

Just look at that determination.

And. I. missed. it.

Because of The Hermit Guard's unforgivable blunder, I'm forced to sit here in my jammies, staring at these photos, completely aghast at the lack of monkey racing in my life.

People. If you see a chance to make monkey racing a part of your day, SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITY. And share it with those you love.

Don't make the same mistake as The Hermit Guard.

Full story here: Primates, Start Your Canines

~~~~

Currently listening to City and Colour

~~~

Foto Friday: The New Hermit Cave

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 17:21:00 +0000

For this photo friday, I thought I'd take you on a tour around the new Hermit Cave. Isn't it cute?

After not having a yard for 8 years, I'm really happy to finally have some space to stretch out.

I think the Hermit Cave Alarm System approves.

It's got creaky floors, tall ceilings, and little treasures tucked here and there to find.

Heck, I've even got my own writing room now.

I swear I've lost 800 pounds of stress, just being able to have peace and quiet.

It's a beautiful feeling.

I've Been Irked - A Look at The Hunger Games Film

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 11 May 2012 17:28:00 +0000

I don't generally like to rant on my blog, but when I do, it's usually about an issue that I just can't let go. In order for my words to make some sort of sense to you, I try to piece together my thoughts after my anger and frustration have settled from a roiling boil to a slow and steady simmer.

But that time hasn't come. I'm still boiling. And it's been over a month.

So what caused such ruffling of my feathers? This Fox News article about the dangers of The Hunger Games.

It irked me good. And that kind of irking deserves a blog rant. So here we go.

The article, written by psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow, starts out with this extremely loaded accusation (emphasis my own):

The Hunger Games, which now ranks as the most successful movie released during March—ever—adds to the toxic psychological forces it identifies, rather than reducing them.

From the very first sentence, I was already scoffing in my head, as well as any other person who has actually read the novels. Not only is this an accusation that is impossible to prove, Dr. Ablow comes right out of the gate proclaiming his professional opinion as fact.

(That little trick tends to ruffle my plumage no matter who tries it or what topic we're discussing.)

We all know that Suzanne Collins, the author of The Hunger Games, wrote the books to show us the ugliness of war and how warped our society has become since the advent of reality TV.

When we read the books or see the film, we inevitably ask ourselves questions like: What would happen if we became so callous that we merged war and reality TV together? What would happen if we took the entertainment factor of death (seen time and time again in shoot-em-up action flicks) and applied it to real life?

The Hunger Games serves as a reminder that our society is dangerously close to these ideas. We already regularly exploit human pain and suffering on reality TV shows, and and we've been using stories about war and extreme violence as a means to skyrocket news ratings for decades.

Anyone with half a brain can see that The Hunger Games warns against such things.

Well, anyone except teens, of course. Those simpletons!

Dr. Ablow believes that Collins's message will have the opposite effect on teens -- that the film, which shows teens brutally murdering each other, will awaken a teen viewer's inner impulses, which he believes are both primitive and violent.

Here are the three results he claims will come of The Hunger Games film:

1) Females will be further distanced from their traditional feminine characteristics that (sadly, some wrongly insist) suggested they were not being real “girls” if they were extremely physically violent.

Firstly, what the huh? I don't even understand the statement as he has it phrased. Does he mean that girls who see the film will start believing violence makes them less feminine? Or is he suggesting that girls will get the idea that being violent is "okay" now, therefore it will become more of a feminine trait for the new generation? More "the norm?"

Either way, I can't see how being manly or feminine has any bearing on his overall point: that the film induces violent behavior. If a person chooses to be a blood-thirsty fiend, like the "Career Tributes" depicted in the film (who are the "bad guys," raised from a young age to kill for sport), it doesn't matter if they're female or male. Both sexes have an equal ability to act viciously if they choose. One sex is not more prone to villainy than the other. They're both human, both equally capable of choosing a life of blood and violence. To think otherwise, you'd have to be living in a very small cultural bubble.

(A woman being extremely violent, to the point of murder, is something that has affected my family personally. It's definitely not something I characterize as "a man thing.")

Furthermore, if a person chooses to be violent in self-defense, as Katniss and Peeta do, the heroes of the story, how does sex, again, have any bearing? Both sexes are equally capable of violence when push comes to shove. If you think getting violent in self-defense isn't a feminine trait, then you've never witnessed a mother protecting her child. I'm pretty sure my own mother would inflict worse damage than anything seen in The Hunger Games if someone threatened her child's life. It would be bloody, gory, and definitely not PG-13 rated.

Am I right?

Here's #2:

Young teens and many pre-teens will be awakened to the fact that they are capable of extreme violence, given the right set of circumstances.

Um. Did this guy attend public middle school or high school? Is he in touch with real-life human children at all? He makes it sound like violence is an adult-only activity, and that The Hunger Games will serve as an all-mighty light switch, making kids suddenly think, "Whoa! I can do that? I never knew!"

I don't know one person who grew up thinking violence was for adults only, like sex or smoking or drinking or voting. I've never heard a kid say, "Man, I can't wait until I'm 18! Then I can finally punch someone!"

That's because kids discover they're capable of injuring someone as early as toddlerhood -- a little boy hitting or biting his little sister because she took his cookie. That's the point most kids learn that inflicting pain is wrong (yay for good parenting!), but there are those who continue being violent on into adulthood.

When I was in elementary school, there were countless bullies roaming the halls and kids getting beat up on the playground. Even in kindergarten, you knew which kids to stay away from -- which kids could snap at any moment. The teachers knew, too.

In middle school, there were kids already having sex -- gasp! -- as well as engaging in some pretty violent fights in the locker room and cafeteria.

In my high school, as I'm sure in your own, there were quite a few 15-year-old parents, kids actually carrying guns and shooting each other, honest-to-goodness bomb threats, kids getting raped, kids committing suicide, and others getting killed in drunk driving accidents. All very "adult" stuff.

Violence was always there in my life, and it will continue to be. It's not just for adults. That's the world we live in.

I say this because I think adults tend to forget what it was like to be a kid all those years ago. The bitter truth is that everyone of sound mind learns early on that humans -- ALL HUMANS -- are capable of extreme violence. Little ones may not be able to grasp the full effects of violence, but I have no doubt they know they can hurt each other. I don't believe kids put an age limit on that ability, even though maybe the world would be a better place if they did.

3) A few psychologically vulnerable teens—who would have come to no good anyhow—may be inspired to replicate the film’s violence.

First of all, if you can find a "psychologically vulnerable" teen or pre-teen who hasn't witnessed a single violent act in his/her lifetime (whether in person or on screen) and The Hunger Games is their very first example, maybe this would have a thread of truth to it.

Maybe.

When we see something we've never seen before, we tend to want to try it out. It's human nature. It's why I tried Zumba for goodness sake. But applying that logic to beating someone bloody and senseless? Driving a knife into someone's heart? Twisting someone's neck until it breaks?

Are you freaking kidding me?

If we follow Dr. Ablow's logic, then in the next twenty years, those teens who "would have come to no good anyhow" will inevitably cite The Hunger Games film as their epic turning point -- the moment they realized they were born to be killers.

And it's all the fault of Suzanne Collins and young adult literature.

Thankfully Dr. Ablow warned us all with this profound and prophetic article. You know, the same guy who so creatively dubbed The Hunger Games "an entertainment product of complete fiction" (um, show me a novel that isn't) and claims the Harry Potter novels distract kids by plunging them into "a realm of wizards and demons, spells and incantations, when we’ve got real life lessons to teach them." (Yup, there's not ONE real life lesson in Harry Potter. Not one. You're so astute and well-read, Keith!)

Okay, setting all veiled insults aside. Here's the bottom line:

I disagree with Dr. Ablow's article.

It makes me angry when people comment (as though their opinions are fact) about a culture or industry they know nothing about. (i.e. YA literature)

I believe that the majority of teens are actually REALLY SMART HUMAN BEINGS. (Let's give them some credit here, eh?)

I do not believe that The Hunger Games film will fill teens with the burning need to crack some skulls.

I firmly believe that kids need books and films like The Hunger Games. If we keep them cooped up in a tiny bubble filled with sunshine and kittens and lollipops, then the moment that bubble is popped (oh, and it will be popped), they won't stand a chance.

If we don't engage kids in meaningful, real-world conversation and experiences, equip them in the art of free-thinking, show them all the ways that light can triumph over dark, then how will they ever survive? How will they ever have the strength and faith they need to persevere in spite of pain and fear?

And lastly, I obviously believe that teaching kids these kinds of lessons should come at age-appropriate times. I just think if we wait until college, it'll be far too late.

Foto Friday: Defiance, Acknowledgements, and The Hermit Hoard

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 19:19:00 +0000

Sometimes I go through phases of Extreme Pet Photography. I imagine it's similar to a parent taking copious amounts of photos of their newborn, trying to capture every nuanced expression. I usually try to vary my subject matter, but as I scan through my recent photos, they're almost all of the Hermit Hoard.

So, please enjoy a little foray into the lives of the Hermit Cave inhabitants. They're just too cute *not* to photograph.

"Scritching Time with the Friendly Neighborhood Spider Cat"

The Hermit Heating Pad likes to hit the snooze button.

The Hermit Cave Alarm System - I can't believe he's already going gray!

Now on to the part where I get my hands on CJ Redwine's DEFIANCE. It just showed up in the mail one day, causing me to FLAIL with EMOTION. You see, I had the honor of being there from the first tiny seedling idea of Defiance, and I got to see CJ hand craft it into what it is today. Every step of the way, I got to be there, cheering her on. From idea to draft to submission to SOLD.

Now it's ready to hit store shelves and I am beyond ecstatic. Isn't it beautiful?

And now on to the part where CJ Redwine makes me ugly cry.

Yup. That makes TWO books now with my name in the acknowledgements. I'm thinking about starting up a collection. :)

I dearly loved being a part of Defiance, and I'm dearly loving being a part of the sequel. I can't wait for you guys to meet Rachel and Logan and see where their journeys take them. It's one incredible ride, one I'm insanely lucky to be on.

Click here to read more about Defiance and pre-order your copy!

And click here to check out CJ's blog. It is snortlicious.

Thanks for stopping by!

Monday's Muse: DeviantART

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 12:30:00 +0000

I know I wrote about DeviantART many moons ago here, but I'd like to express my gratitude for the site once again.

For writers, DeviantART.com is like a grab bag of fiction inspiration -- especially of the fantasy kind. Every time I start a browsing session, I feel like I'm walking through the aisles of Imagination R Us, saying, "I'll take one of these, one of these, some of this, a bit of that... Hmmm... Should I grab some of this? Oh, why not."

Take it all home and blend all your inspirational tidbits together and you've got the makings of ANY fantasy novel ever written. (Or soon to be written.)

I don't know about you, but I have to see something in order for my imagination to spark. Whether I see something in a dream, on the street, in a public restroom, it doesn't matter. I just need to keep my eyes open and take in everything I can or else my imagination cup goes dry.

Sometimes mundane things I see during everyday life can spark my imagination and give me an idea to throw in my next story, but other times I need a dose of the fantastical too. That's where movies and TV shows come in handy.

As well as DeviantART.com.

You just can't see stuff like this on your way to the grocery store:

And if you do see this kind of thing on your way to the grocery store? You've got problems. (Email me. I'll get you some help.)

You'll see amazing digital brush work:

Brilliant uses of everyday objects:

Incredible photography:

Fan-made art:

Character inspiration:

Hilarity:

That's for you, Nic!

Crazy-good drawings:

Pretty much anything you can dream of? It's on DeviantART.com. Add it to your Muse Bag and use it, don't lose it!

Also, you can create a WIP board on Pinterest and pin away. (Including links back to the artists' pages.) Pinterest is a great way to keep all your WIP inspiration organized and easy to access.

Have fun!

Author Appreciation Blog Tour: Myra McEntire

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 16:16:00 +0000

Today, all across the Interwebs, we show our appreciation for one of our favorite authors, Myra McEntire.

You can check out my post as well as others over on the YABC blog. Some are hilarious, some are gushy-mushy (like mine), and some have VISUAL AIDS, which made me cough and snort and sputter all whilst drinking my morning coffee.

You don't want to miss this blog tour!

Lucky Seven

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 00:28:00 +0000

So, the beautiful Trisha Leigh tagged me in this writer game that has been going around the bloggosphere. I totally meant to post my response last week and tag Myra McEntire and CJ Redwine.

But then.

THEN.

Myra went and tagged me before I could get to her. AND she snatched CJ as well! Now I'm down two very talented, capable writers to tag. (Not to mention Trisha!)

Well played, McEntire. Well played.

So here are the rules if you're tagged:

Go to page 7 or 77 in your current manuscript
Go to line 7
Copy down the next seven lines/sentences as they are – no cheating
Tag 7 other authors

So here we go! Here are 7 lines from the 7th page of my current manuscript, The Descenders.

All I know is when I was fifteen, I had a vision that made me feel like I was there, like I was one of the starving colonists living in Jamestown. I wandered through the settlement, my stomach yawning with such hunger that even the leather on my shoes looked appetizing. I saw a mother rocking a dead child in her arms. I watched a man climb into a grave he had dug himself, resigning himself to death. I looked on as another man was hung by his thumbs for carving up his dead wife like a Thanksgiving turkey.

I still feel the prick of that vision. I live with the terrifying bite of it every day.

There you have it. Mission accomplished. So... what do you think it's about? ;-)

Now on to seven authors to tag. And the lucky winners are:

Bria Quinlan
Francesca Amendolia
Shannon Messenger
Sara McClung
Kimberly Pauley
Nicole Bossard
Lauren Billings

Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Foto Friday: Cover Crush Edition

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 13:00:00 +0000

We interrupt our regularly scheduled Foto Friday for this very important announcement:

I HAZ A COVER CRUSH.

And it's name is Keeper of the Lost Cities

by Shannon Shanaynay-Shananigans Messenger

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Don't say anything. Just look at it.

Now look at it a little bit longer.

Looooonger.

*zooms in further*

*le sigh*

Isn't it so pretty? The cover designers at Simon & Schuster (Aladdin) did an amazing job. In fact, I'd love to shake them by the hand enthusiastically and say something like, "Jolly good show!"

Congrats, Shannon!

Make sure to add this book to your YABooksCentral.com favorites list! http://www.yabookscentral.com/kidsfiction/11766-keeper-of-the-lost-cities

My Adventures in Zumba

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 14:51:00 +0000

When you're a writer (or web developer or any other professional who must sit on your duff all day), you have to find creative ways to stay active.

Otherwise you'll need these. Am I right?

Writer's Butt.

I haz it.

Not that that's a bad thing. I'd rather have a writer's butt and be a published author (or whatever equivalent to that metaphor you like) than have a rocking bod be the ONLY thing going for me.

However, I know keeping my body active is important if I want it to last. So, I took my friend up on her invitation to join her Zumba class.

I'd heard a lot about Zumba but never really knew what it was. Actually, every time I heard the word I automatically pictured "spinning" and therefore had no interest. (Don't ask how I made that connection. My brain works in strange ways.) Spinning = asthma attack. No, thank you.

Meanwhile, I'd been working out at home to get my body active everyday. In between my reps, I'd do something I called "free dance" where I basically just closed my eyes and let it all go, baby. This dancing, of course, was done in the privacy of my own home. No potential witnesses to scar for life or harm with my flailing limbs.

Believe me, everyone is thankful for this. It isn't pretty.

I kept thinking, why isn't there an exercise class where all you do is dance? It's a much better workout than, say, step aerobics. (Which I've done before.) And it's actually fun.

Dancing is fun!

That's when I saw a Zumba infomercial as I was flipping channels one day. (Yes, there is a Zumba infomercial.) (Yes, I was sitting on my duff.)

The people in the infomercial were dancing. Dancing! Fun, hip hop, get-your-groove-on dancing!

I sat up, jabbed my finger in the air and said "That's it!" all Sherlock-like. Like I'd discovered Zumba.

I was so excited to get to the class and dance. I heard you could burn up to 900 calories in one class, which is just crazy. That would be like...forever on the elliptical or rowing machine.

Forrrrrreeeeeevvvvvvvverrrrrrrrr.

So I did it. I Zumba'ed.

Let me tell you -- I did NOT feel like the picture on the left. I felt like Ace Ventura descended into my body and took over, tutu and all.

No, let's be honest. No Ace needed. It was ALL. ME.

Letting me Zumba was like letting a ballerina hippo loose in a paint-your-own ceramics studio.

When the whole class went down to the floor, I went up to the sky!

When they hopped to the left, I flitted to the right.

When they galloped like gazelles, I crashed about like The Incredible Hulk. "Mandy dance! Mandy spin! Mandy twirl! Mandy GRACEFUL!"

Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad, but I was lost the entire time. It's not pretty when you're learning new moves. Especially when you're not a dancer, like me.

I've never taken a dance class. I don't go to clubs. The best dance moves I've got?

- Open the Fridge

- The Lawnmower

- The Sprinkler

- Headbanging

- That One Where You Grab Your Ankle and Touch Your Knee to Your Elbow

My fellow Fiesta Movement Agent, Judson (Evolution of Dance), would be appalled at my general lack of skill.

It's a good thing no one recorded me. That would be a video I'd pay millions for. Millions! (Free blackmail idea.)

No, instead of cameras, there were mirrors.

Everywhere.

I made sure to stand behind several other ladies so I wouldn't catch a glimpse of myself.

But.

BUT!

I felt amazing when the class was over. Yeah, sure, I almost had an asthma attack and had to sit one song out or else my friend Monika would've had to do an emergency tracheotomy on me.

But.

BUT!

The endorphins were flying high afterwards. And I probably burned around 600 calories just having fun.

Moral of the story: Even if you look like a tornado on a tea table, at least you're giving your body the ACTIVE fuel it needs. And at least you're having fun!

Final diagnosis? Zumba = highly recommended.

Bonus feature! My YABC Reviewer friends and I lip-syncing to N*Sync.

I dance a little in the video.

A LITTLE.

Shut up. ;-)

Join YABC today and start earning points for your awesomeness! Don't worry, we won't make you dance. Just sharing your love of YA books is all that's required. :)

Write reviews - Win books! Only at YABooksCentral.com

Monday's Muse: Light

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 13:00:00 +0000

This week's Monday's Muse explores light.

Light is such an overlooked muse. It affects mood, emotion, passion. It can send the tiniest shiver through our souls, or awaken a frenzied fire in our hearts. Sometimes, I'm simply overcome by some of the expressions of light I find on tumblr. Here are a few of my favorites.

Each photograph has a story to tell. Maybe these will inspire a story for you.

~ Light ~

For more muse-worthy images, visit my tummmmmmblr.

Which one do you like best?

Foto Friday: Reflections

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 21:20:00 +0000

I've been reflecting a lot lately. Just so happened to capture that here. ;-)

An angel in the palm of my hand.

Yes, I tried the Doritos Taco at Taco Bell. Yes, it was nommy. No, it doesn't feel good the next day.

Foto Friday: Beach Combing

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 22:31:00 +0000

On our way back home from our trip to Missouri a few weeks back, Joel surprised me with a detour to our favorite Lake Michigan beach. (Hint: We went there a lot when we were dating.)

We hopped out, stretched our legs, and let the dog run—paw in sand. Here are a couple great photos to mark the occasion.

We found an old, weathered pair of sunglasses in the sand, so of course we took some Hipster Pics.

My handsome man and his lake.

We spent so many sun-filled days on this beach, reading great books, nibbling picnic lunches, playing frisbee, and wading in waves. For us, Lake Michigan is that one place where we feel utterly at home, at peace, and alive.

Do you have a special place like that? Share in the comments.

Foto Friday: Sickness, Death, and Synopses

noreply@blogger.com (MG Buehrlen) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 22:13:00 +0000

I missed a few Foto Friday segments because The Plague of Near Death struck me two weeks ago. Condolences to anyone else who was struck down as well. It's nasty, this one. But at least it kept me indoors long enough to finish my synopses.

My synopsis-writing tools of choice:

Yes, siree, the synopses are finished. And they got the stamp of approval from Awesome Agent. So I'm feeling doubly good today because not only are the synopses and revisions all done (for now) but The Plague of Near Death seems to have packed up and left the building.

Here's hoping I don't see his face for another 10 years.

Before I got sick, the hubs and I made an unexpected trip back to my hometown to say goodbye to my beloved grandmother.

Grandma taught me the love and joy of cooking and working with my hands. She taught me to appreciate the dirt under my fingernails, the beauty of the land, and the smell of sun-warmed clothes on the line. She made the best homemade bread ever and took the time to teach me how to make it. To this day, a slice of that warm bread with butter and homemade rhubarb jam transforms me every time into a 6-year-old sitting at her kitchen table.

Many of the stories I write come from the seeds of imagination planted as I walked the enchanted acres of her farm, befriended bob-tailed cats, hid from trolls in the woods, stole jewels from my brother, the pirate, and played hide-and-seek in the old smokehouse.

To this day, the view from her front porch is still the best in all of Missouri.

I got to hold her hand, tell her I loved her, and hear her talk about how much she still loved my grandpa, who died 18 years ago.

She was in so much pain when I left her side. I'm thankful that's no longer the case.

You were loved, Grandma B, and you leave behind a great legacy. I owe much of who I am to you and Grandpa, and I'm proud to have been your granddaughter.

xoxo