Random Ponderings Of A Smalltown Girl

Stranded

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 17:45:00 +0000

Have you ever craved SO much for a mere 4 Rs that you wanted it more than you ever wanted a million bucks? Even for a short time?

Today i decided to go watch shopping for the fastrack watch my BFF was buying me. I went with my work BF, KP. The deal was, i didn't had any money with me. [sidenote- i don't usually keep cash with me as i am a big ass spender. I would rather carry a card] So i had exactly Rs 0.00 with me to carry me through the shopping and the travelling. She took the bus ticket to the shopping center and i got the watch, (yay!) which is kinda tame, but stylish. Not the point of the post though.
Later the night, we finished shopping, but kinda late, as i am an indecisive jackass. We paid(via card) and by then KP was late for her home. We ran to the bus stop and i watched on as she got on a very timely bus (not a usual thing!). As the bus started rolling, it dawned in my mind that, Here I am, alone in the middle of a city, with absolutely zero cash with me.
Oh. My. God.

I only needed 4 rs to get me to the hostel and i have never ever wanted 4 shining one rupee coins than then, when i felt alone in the midst of a frikking crowd.
Before the crazies began, i started to look for an ATM and i could find none in sight. And finally i asked one shop guy for directions to an ATM and I had passed right by it! (And who in the would would plant a bunch of trees all around an ATM? For gad's sake, it for people to find. Not to play hide and seek with!) And i got the money, got change from a shop and finally got in a bus.
Phew.

Endless Love

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 16:34:00 +0000

Some love stories begin beautifully. Hearing them makes you want love so badly that it will hurt. But there are some love stories that are different. It will still hurt you badly.

I was talking to a new patient. [Basic case taking. They share their woes. We pretend to listen while looking for valid points to fill the case sheet.] Old lady, arthritic, very pleasant but a sadness hiding somewhere in her face.

"My husband died 6 months ago. He is a very nice man. He took extremely good care of me. He would urge me to go out every day and do something very simple like a walk. He was not so healthy, but he would still come to give me company." She smiled wistfully.
"On that day, like usual, he made me a cup of coffee. He had bought me a walking machine, treadmill. I said i am not walking, and he said he will instead of me. He walked for a few minutes. And usually after walks he would lie down for a few minutes to rest. Before lying down, he asked me to drink the coffee he bought me. He never woke up. They said it was cardiac arrest." By this time, her words were choked up and her tears were streaming down her face. And mine were brimming with tears too.

This is what i said earlier.
Some love stories begin so beautifully, it will hurt you. Some love stories end beautifully and it hurts even more. Or do they really end?

Sacred Science- The Dewarists

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:51:00 +0000

The best song i have heard in a long time. This one is extra special as it is based on my homeland, Kerala. The video captures the essence of the traditional aspects of Kerala and the music by the guitarist adds a modern touch to it, and its just 'WOW'.

Tell me how you like it.

Copyrighted by Dewarists and Star World.

New Year? Really?

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:52:00 +0000

This is the first time I've not felt the celebratory light of New Year in my life. And i live in a city. That is saying a lot. May be finally i am at the level of maturity that makes you take everything in colorless tone. Literally, old. That is bad. But i think mostly its the fear to grow old while i accomplished so little in the life so far. Peter Pan syndrome. With a little insecurity thrown in for company.

January was the most loved month for me. For all the birthday gifts it bring. Now its my most hated month. And don't blame if i switched off the mobile on the freakishly frightening Jan 25.

And to all young folks, Happy New Year. And to all my folks, I know dear, I know.

Recap

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 07:26:00 +0000

I would say the past one was a better year.

I was jobless in the beginning.
Now working, even though its with some real a-holes.

Moved to the City.
Loved it. Then hated it too.

Single status is still a status, though not much needed anymore.
Desp? May be.

Published a short story. Paying one.
But i think they'll publish next year.

The book reading was phenomenal.
Record breaking.

Got an android.
That was like last week.

Lost a few friends. And mostly because of me.
And i warn you, as you age, the worthy ones will get sparser.

Two lady babies to two friends.
They are so beautiful.

The year was faster than i thought.
May be its an age thing and 'age' is the word i hate the most in the world.

Planning something awesome for the future.
I just hope that i can see it fruiting.

And for 2012,
Please don't end.
Some of us got plans.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Universal language

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 06:19:00 +0000

I have a French student now. One Mr. Thomas. I like to think of him as thumnus. You know, of Narnia. Usually I don't have language barrier with my students. They all are more well versed in English than I am. Thomas talks well too. But you never know.
So one day we were discussing the things us humans do, that I'd say not fit for delicate ears. Regular work.
Me: so, there's faeces, urine and sweat.
T: what's that?
Me: faeces?
T: yeah.
Me: umm. You know, human waste.
T: what waste? I don't get it.
Me: Stools?
T: what's stool? Like a seat?
Me: how do I say this. Gaad... Like we go to toilet everyday, u know? Well, some every day. : /
T: like poo?
Me: Yes Thomas! POOP it is! You poo poo head!
The last bit was all in my head.

I am afraid to think what I will do if he starts akibg questions about the rest.

Coconut Over My Head

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 17:10:00 +0000

So, when androids started popping all over the place, i stayed out of the race.
I was really happy with the very nice, very functional java mob i had.
I could read on it, get my rss feed, music, some games and loads of battery.
And i could twitter when i wanted to.
Then facebook went on and bought snaptu.
The software which connected me to gossip sites and twitter.

Jeez, running with the masses.
I decided to get one android.

After so much speculation and research, I decided on Live with Walkman.

See, Nice phone.And nice specs.

So i was waiting for TWO weeks for this baby to release in India so that i can make it mine.

Then what?

Sony goes on and names this phone,

SONY ERICSSON ~~COCONUT~~

Yeah. Really.

Why Sony Why? Why you had to ruin my life?

Fancy name?

COCONUT? Fancy? OMG everyone at work is going to make the mickey out of me over this.
I will be the laughing stock of town.
The idiot who spent 15000 to buy a COCONUT.

Oh god. why they couldn't name it like Mango or something? Olive? Mulberry? Plum? Guava? Jack fruit? [Ok, not jack fruit].
Why coconut?

Am going to dig a hole and plan to die with this phone. Who knows? May after sometime, a coconut tree will rise from the burial place. :-/

I am ME.

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 06:06:00 +0000

I believe true love exists

I am cynical

I read wikipedia for fun

I believe in ancient texts of wisdom

I love gadgets

I am clumsy

I don't believe in music genre

I like finer things in life

I also am not crazed about money

I am childish

I like sick adult jokes

I hate latecomers

I am always late

I am stingy

I like surprising my loved ones with gifts

I am orthodox in believes

I read gay romances

I believe in Karma
I find hate tiring

I am spiritual
I gossip

I am cuddly
I forgive easily
I find peace in temples
I seek attention and approval
I am calm
I am materialistic
I look for deeper meanings in mythology
I talk to my gadgets
I don't talk to strangers on transit
I am expressive

I am Complex
I am ME

Kovai Sky.. in the evening.

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 17:43:00 +0000

Took this on my Elmo on a stroll with a friend. It was too beautiful to just watch. I had to share. Click to zOOm.

Bitchology- Lesson 1

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 02:02:00 +0000

Never underestimate the Bitch. The bitch is equipped with devastating weapons of ruthlessness, cold-heart and knowledge of your weakness. The second you underestimate it, it scores and you are history.

[NB- Bitchology obviously is a lecture on the aforementioned character who are recognized not by their look, but solely by the bitchiness. Surrounded by them means death and if you have to survive, you need the tricks.]

Bitchology Lesson No. 17

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 17:48:00 +0000

Know what the Bitch likes. And keep a healthy supply of it with you. Shower it generously, but always make it clear that you worked real hard to get this to the bitch. Bitch is mollified that you are working for it and is happy.

Remember, A happy bitch is a less trouble bitch.

[NB- Bitchology obviously is a lecture on the aforementioned character who are recognized not by their look, but solely by the bitchiness. Surrounded by them means death and if you have to survive, you need the tricks.]

Celeb Encounters

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 15:26:00 +0000

So, i met this guy.

[don't be fooled by the picture. Can be really ugly]

He is under treatment near where i work.

Not a fan. But curious in a way you wonder about the lion-tailed macaque.

So, saw from distance a few times.

Haughty airhead a-hole.

Then this girl got admitted in next room.

Only saw from afar.

For those who don't know, Mallu heroine.

Now we are waiting for the gossips to start.

10 Day You Challenge- Day 11

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 09:04:00 +0000

One Picture

Yeah, Its me.

To, preserve some mystery, it's not complete. Okay?

10 Day You Challenge- Day 9

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 15:04:00 +0000

Two Songs

Lucky by Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat- Best friends-became-lovers song ever. You feel bouncy and happy listening to it.
Baby Its Cold Outside- Its so comforting listening to this. And it does reminds you of holidays. I like the glee version better because (a) huge Chris Colfer Darren Criss fan and (b) the two male voices removes the male-female crossover irritation i have when i hear others.

These two are in my 'most played songs' list.

10 Day You Challenge- Day 8

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 15:37:00 +0000

Three Films

Here is three movies that i watch over and over again and doesn't get tired of.

You Got Mail- My favorite feel good movie. Cute Meg Ryan and sensible Tom Hanks. And to boot it all, me myself had a huge crush on my penpal.
Kal Ho Na Ho- Say whatever about KJo's drama theatrics. But the movie is doing old bollywood cliches and mocking them at the same time. I have laughed and cried with it. And to boot, SRK. I first started crushing on the guy when i was 8 years old. And first crushes die hard.
Finding Nemo- I think this is like my all time favorite movie. I can't stop watching it once i start. Besides being the best entertainer that was ever made by pixar, it reminds me of my own Nemo aka Rudra. Dory says 'Hi! Do i know you?'

It is with pain that i am not including so so so many of my favorites. Jeez, meme's are gonna get me only grief.

10 Day You Challenge- Day 7

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 14:59:00 +0000

Four Books

[Four books?? Four? This is cruelty towards a bibliophile!]

Harry Potter Series- I am, like everyone else, is a Ka-Ray-Zee fan. I love Ron and my college desk was covered with doodles of Ron's name and hearts. But more than the best book series ever, HP brought me back to serious reading again. And i can't thank JKR enough for that, ever.
Chetan Bhagat's FivePoint Someone-I love all his books. Even with his bollywood masala stories and predictable endings, i still love him. Because he inspired me to write first. And to start a blog.
Julia Quinn's Bridgerton Series- Fun-Fucking-Fantastic read. That's what this was. My favorite is Colin's story. Also Anthony's.
QI Anthology- This book is not out yet. But its still in my Fav-Four. Why? Because, Yours Truly has written a story that's gonna be in it. Say with me, "YAY!!" :D

That is it then.

Adios, amigos.

10 Day You Challenge- Day 6

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 15:04:00 +0000

Five Foods

[Five? That is one extra short list!]

Biriyani- Who does not love a good dum Biriyani? My favorite is one made by aQQui. He is an awesome cook. Sadly all my family's cooking gene went to the boy.
Cake- I make cake and i love my own plum cake. But my favorite has to be black forest. Just thinking of it, all black white and red makes me have a foodgasm.
Different Chaats- Who doesn't?
Chocolate- Any form, any day! Bring it on.
Ice cream!- Me big baby!! :P

Five Foods i want to taste some day

Pancakes and maple syrup.
Belgian Waffles- Real hot ones.
Ribs
Crème brûlée
Anything from Mexican cuisine.

10 Day You Challenge- Day 5

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 15:32:00 +0000

Six Places; I want to visit.

Italy- Rome, Venice, Milan... All the countrysides... Wine... I just wanna go there and relax... Ooh, did i mention the hot Italian guys?
Greece- All the blue seas and white buildings... Picturesque. Did i mention the hot Greek guys? :P [I think i read way too many harlequin and mills and boon in my late teens. I think all the guys in the mediterranean are tall, dark and handsome and rich to boot.
India- I live in India. But the country is so vast and wide and it holds so much culture and beauty. I especially wanna see Eastern India, palaces of Rajasthan, Leh, Temple towns of Tamil Nadu, Puri, Varanasi, Kolkata... With Mom. :-)
Russia- Not so much now, but during my college days, me and Di had this romanticized version of Russia with the white nights and grey surroundings. Now i would really love to visit St. Petersburg and Moscow for all the art and the churches. With Di, of course.
United states- just because of the food, i swear. I think they don't have any cuisine and they make it as they go along and they have come up with some real crazy combos which i watch regularly on TLC. Damn it i wanna go. With my partner in crime, aQQui.
Home- At the end of the day, there is no other place you'd rather be. :-)

10 Day You Challenge- Day 4

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 15:16:00 +0000

Seven Wants;

To publish a book. Fiction; and have at least one person i don't know like it.
Fall head over heels in love, and have the favor returned. Well, who doesn't want that?
Go into business with Di, and enjoy every crazy minute it. It will be crazy. She is as neurotic as God makes 'em.
Own Sony Ericsson Neo V. Which i will most likely fulfill before all the rest. And a Galaxy Tab. Greedy much?
Travel around the world. And go to all the amazing food places i watch on TLC.
My parents to be really really proud of me. Not the "aww, my baby" pride, but the "Wow, she's really awesome" version
Have a Genie appear before me and ask for my 3 wishes. Or 10. :P

Would it be too much asking the Genie to look like this?

10 Day You Challenge- Day 3

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 09:56:00 +0000

Eight Fears;

The Apocalypse- i am serious. I really believe that the world would end next year and then i will leave without making a mark on this then-nonexisting-world.
High heels and bike riding- This is fairly recent.I am not the tallest person and i am afraid that when i get off from the back seat, the heels would trip and i would fall with the bike on top.
Commitment- Ehm.

My loved ones departing- I used to have nightmares of it, though its a lot better now.
Thieves, burglars and such- I am always paranoid when i come back to a vacant house.
Horror movies.
Snakes- They are the creepiest creepers of 'em all.
Ending up alone for the rest of my life- That is, if the world by chance did not end.

10 Day You Challenge- Day 2

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 03:49:00 +0000

Nine Loves;

Books

Coffee
Tiger cubs
Music. No specific genre, but anything that sounds nice and don't hurt my eardrums.

Monsoon
Baking
Writing [Blogging]
Home cooked meals, especially festive ones, with my family
Talking with loved ones; Di, aQQui, Mom, Nemo, H, Sony, AD.....

10 Day You Challenge

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 04:22:00 +0000

I admit that is a ruse to get me to blog regularly. Fingers crossed.

10 Secrets

I hate when people show me their family photo albums. Looking at ugly strangers is not my way to spent time.
I am mighty jealous of my work friend who is engaged. Am not jealous of her relationship status. I am J because her fiance is buying her a smartphone. I want a smartphone!!
I think coldplay is mediocre. And i like westlife. I know. :|
I hate almost everyone i work with. And they think i like them
Sometimes on weekends i forgets to brush teeth in the morning and remember it around noon. You think i am gross now, do you?
I eat a tub of ice cream and watch HIMYM when i am sad or depressed.
I cry reading romance novels. Judge me.
I believe that world will end in 2012 and all my future big plans is set for 2013 so that if world ends, i am not in the middle of something.
I have googled "the most painless way to suicide".
My story which got accepted for publishing is queer themed. The publisher is Queer-Ink Press. So Yeah, i write queer stories. I am not queer.

Phew. Too much sharing?

Sickness Blue

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 14:36:00 +0000

Its been four months since i arrived in this City. And its my second fever in as much months. I think Cities make me burning hot. :P

Honestly, the cities have a way of attaching itself on you. Make you so crazy about it, even with all its imperfections. It grows on you slowly, and one day you realize that you don't want to go back, even though you hate the place and the people here.

Its like a sexy mistress, seductive; you know its not good, you know more times than not it is not so fond of you, you know you will have much more peace and understanding from the good old hometown where everyone knows you. But you cant leave. You live for its better moments, even though it is far and fewer in between. Its like a really bad addiction.

I know i am not the first to feel this tug o' war. I like living here, but there are moments when i miss my smalltown life like mad.

Especially when i am sick. And lonely. Fever is not some deathbed scene for me. But it makes me want my home and family with an intensity that is quite fierce.

Things i miss from Home- especially when i am down with fever.

Amma- Whenever i am sick, she gets on like an overprotective orangutan mom. She checks on often, and sometimes scolds me for being a careless baby to get the disease, which makes me crazy. I miss the scolding. Even though in the past few days she has called like fifty times, i miss her random checks and poor-baby pats and hugs.
Mom's chukku kaapi- Chukku is ginger and kaapi is, of course, coffee. Its a dreadful spicy drink, after drinking which you will run and mouth some sugar to cool your tongue. Mom feeds us that hourly while ill. We think she is being rather sadistic. But it makes the fever go away in like, a day. Here also i make something that tastes like that. How ever i try, its not as awful and it not as effective either. Sigh.
My Bed- Which rather hard, with a me-shaped dent right in the middle, but its the place where i get maximum rest and sleep.
My room- The one thing i hate and love in my city room is the pouring sunlight. Some days it makes my days brighter. But the fever photo-phobia makes my eyes crave my room with a huge mango tree right near the windows which makes it virtually dark at noon.
My dog, who knows when i am sick and in companionship comes and lies down on my feel. Which is rather painful, but i like it anyway.
Dad who runs after me with a paracetamol, which is something i abhor. His belief in modern medicines in something i didn't inherit from him.

Taking care of yourself is something you need to learn sooner or later. But it doesn't mean that you stop wishing someone would do it for you at your most vulnerable.

PS: The one thing i love most about the city is also the family. Them and their over-intrusive, overprotective, overbearing ways are a few hundred kilometers away. Aw, shucks.

Sometimes it lasts in love, Sometimes it hurts instead.

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 13:59:00 +0000

I forgot YOUR birthday this year.

This is the first time i passed a September 3 without wishing you since I turned 16 and came to know you.

It's moving forward, or on, right?

Then I hear this amazingly sung Adele song and I remember you.

Vividly and Painfully.

Never mind. I'll find someone like you.

[PS: I am gay for Adele. ]

Friend-cheating And Other Vices

noreply@blogger.com (smalltown_girl) — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 14:39:00 +0000

Can you cheat on a friend? If not, what is this guilt i am feeling that i shouldn't at any case feel?

So, i went out today. It was a beautiful Sunday, clear sky and and rather cold weather. I had made plans with Barbara (you remember Barbara, right? The dog lady), accompanying her on her shopping trip, which was incidentally to Bhima Gold and Precious stones. [I admit it. I love gold. I love the shine, the intrinsic artwork and the beauty of it. I love how it makes one pretty. And i love how confident the yellow metal makes you. Fuck it, i love how it is actually a status symbol some despises, but secretly craves. There, one of my vices.]

So, we went to Bhima, then to another handicraft store, which had good but seriously overpriced products. Lets face it. Barbara is a foreigner. But she is from Brazil, which is not much richer than India. And she came to study here, not shop and enjoy the sights. And Indians are waiting with sharpened scalpels to cut off from any non-Indian that actually wants to shop here. It made me little angry and a lot ashamed. And then i had a fight with the shop guy. [That is another vice. I hate when people push on low quality things and demand four times the original price and act like i am too stupid to understand the goodness of it. Fuck you. And i hate more when someone try to cheat my friends.] Barbara had to interfere. Hmmph. I am still pissed.

Then we went to Hot Chocolate. The hot chocolate was delicious, but it was like dropping 1kg wet cement in my stomach. That heavy. And then she bought me a chocolate brownie. [This is the third vice. I can never, to save my life, say NO to chocolate. Even if i am full of stuff, i will still have space for a little more chocolate.]

The thing was, we both enjoyed the trip immensely. It was nice, walking around, commenting on guys and assorted things you see on the street (seriously our taste in men makes us opposites. I like foreign boys and we came across two, who, in my opinion were too pretty and most probably gay and i literally blushed, whereas she pointed a very ordinary next-door-joe at the coffee shop and said he was so hot and i was like, what is wrong with your eyes, woman?], and bad mouthing this mutual friend, and this was the most fun i had in a long long long time out with anyone. The last time i had this much fun was may be when i went out with Di on one of our Calicut movie trips.

So after it was all over, i kinda felt sad that i enjoyed these thing which I and Di shared, with someone else. Di goes out a lot now, with her hubby, in TVM and in Mumbai, but its not the same because he is not her best friend, i am and it is not the same. I missed the old carefree me who would wander around with her. Yeah. This makes no sense. I know.

Di is Di no one is ever going to replace her in my life. Though i honestly wish that Barbara would stay here, (bring her cat, whose name is Tofu and her boyfriend, who is this tattooed up Biker looking nice guy), and i am absolutely sure that if they ever meet, Di and Barbara would love each other at first chat, as their common things begin at their imperfect but cute English.

Ah, may be in a parallel universe.