tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49775072736559734672024-11-01T03:35:45.151-07:00AN ASPIRING SCREENWRITER HEADS WESTBRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-4856374788280323722008-09-30T15:28:00.000-07:002008-09-30T15:29:58.532-07:00

I was born and raised in New Jersey and before moving to LA last week had spent the last few years in Virginia. For me, decisions such as how to dress have always been based on one very simple question, “What do the ladies like?” In the straight laced Commonwealth of Virginia, this usually meant khaki pants, a button down shirt, and combed hair. I wore this type of ensemble my very first night

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-16165001521127794612008-04-22T14:32:00.000-07:002008-05-22T13:23:57.097-07:00

In case you missed it last night, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John McCain all appeared on World Wrestling Entertainment's Monday Night Raw program. As a man of the people and staunch populist, I concede that there is definitely something engaging about multi-millionaire presidential wannabes taking time out of their quest for the most powerful office in the world to pander directly to

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-23795825043923146422008-04-14T13:30:00.000-07:002008-04-23T06:26:00.498-07:00

If you notice three or more of the following, it is time for you to start looking for a new place of employment. If you regularly experience all nine, like me, then I would skip any spontaneous meetings called by Human Resources. 1). He compares you to Jim Halpert from The Office. A brief description of Jim: "A seven-year veteran of Dunder Mifflin, Jim insists the job is just an extended

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-42155863781052230002008-04-01T09:07:00.000-07:002008-04-15T06:20:47.430-07:00

Between 2003 and 2005, I posted profiles on numerous internet dating sites. From the mainstream cattle call that is Match.com, to the oddball appeal of the Onion personals, to the Hassidic loving goodness surrounding J-Dates, if there was a web site out there where one could insert a picture and a 300 word description, then I was probably on it. The allure of these sites did not stem from

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-49875025504435282142008-03-26T12:52:00.000-07:002008-04-01T09:07:16.892-07:00

I live in a supposedly safe neighborhood in the suburbs of Virginia, but on a chilly Saturday afternoon this illusion was shattered. It was 4pm and I was taking a nap, exhausted after having been awake for two hours that day, when I was roused from my slumber by the apartment door being opened. The footsteps grew louder as they moved from the hallway to the living room, the kitchen, and,

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-49333384996645202062008-03-21T06:51:00.001-07:002008-03-28T07:03:36.493-07:00

I know I'm a little slow when it comes to keeping pace with the latest TV juggernauts, or the "water cooler" shows that people are always discussing, dissecting, and downright obsessing over. For example, I've never seen more than a few minutes of 24, The Wire, House, Entourage, Sex and the City, The Office, Friends, American Idol, and, to my great embarrassment due to my Italian American

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-75973633215805711742008-03-16T14:50:00.001-07:002008-03-21T11:01:37.195-07:00

I was in Los Angeles over the weekend for work. It's a hazy twilight, and before the sun can disappear beneath the downtown smog one of my co-workers suggests grabbing a drink. Being tourists, we decide to go to the only place we've heard of from TV and Motley Crue videos; the Sunset Strip.Although Google Maps says the trip will take 15 minutes, we get there in an hour, which we would later

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-85194276234144570252008-03-10T10:36:00.001-07:002008-03-17T07:56:53.753-07:00

I love the ladies, but my relationship with the opposite sex has been notoriously rocky. From my long period of forced celibacy-some people refer to this period as the 90s-to the good times that stretched from October to November of 2006, I have always tried to maintain a positive attitude during both moments of bounty and need. This attitude includes being open to different types of women,

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-79841711655954811402008-03-06T10:54:00.000-08:002008-03-12T06:14:27.058-07:00

The period when you first start sleeping with someone is a fascinating time in any blossoming relationship, and I'm not talking about just the sex. I'm talking about the actual sleep. The reason being that when you’re sleeping, you have no idea what's going on, and no control over what you’re doing. In some ways, falling asleep beside a person can be an act of greater intimacy and trust than

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-55417510392275593412008-03-04T11:42:00.000-08:002008-04-11T11:48:55.529-07:00

I called my Mom yesterday for one of our bi-weekly chats. The conversation normally follows a pretty standard format, where Mom checks to make sure that I am fulfilling the basics laid out in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, from eating to sleeping to avoiding laying on the couch while wallowing in my own filth. I then dutifully respond to her queries with a quick, monosyllabic answer along the

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-52222801522381099872008-02-29T08:24:00.000-08:002008-03-04T16:03:49.267-08:00

Today I was sitting in the cube thinking about two of my favorite people, Roger Clemens and David Hasselhoff. In particular, I spent an hour going back and forth over which one of them is the bigger star. For newcomers to my blog, you should be aware that, yes, I hate my job, yes I have too much free time, and yes, these are exactly the types of pointless issues I struggle with on a fairly

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-30517389898813176262008-02-25T08:44:00.000-08:002008-02-29T14:40:56.189-08:00

I was born and raised in New Jersey. To me, the Garden State is more than just big hair, Italian gangsters, and funny accents. It’s more than an area of 8,729 square miles that has produced luminaries such as John Bon Jovi, Jack Nicholson, and Shaquille O’Neal. It’s more than the bastion of wealth that boasts an overly educated and high earning population, yet also has within it’s borders two

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-63660560310248740572008-02-21T14:27:00.000-08:002008-03-07T06:17:31.482-08:00

One of my best friends in recent years is a guy we’ll call Dan. Dan is an alcoholic. We met, of course, at a bar, where we were both trying to gain the attention of the same girl. I tried to engage her by asking if she had any interest in books, while Dan, staying true to his indomitable style, asked if she had any interest in sex. Shockingly, neither of us got the girl, but Dan and I hit it

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-8165344899012784972008-02-15T06:26:00.000-08:002008-02-29T14:41:25.500-08:00

It used to be that worrying about one's appearance was a strictly female enterprise. These days, the paradigm has shifted, and this has placed men in an interesting position. We are post Queer Eye and the metrosexual revolution, where gay dudes taught us that we could manscape and spend $80 for shirts, yet a little of the sagging and plumping that accompanies normal male aging is still

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-40315155699176531482008-02-13T09:58:00.001-08:002008-02-29T14:41:42.247-08:00

Living in the Washington, DC area for the better part of five years, I have witnessed my share of rabid political supporters, from the conservative Christian base of George W. Bush, to the liberal feminists lined up behind Hillary Clinton, to the roving bands of Oompa Loompas that follow around Dennis Kucinich and his hot young trophy wife. However, I have never seen anything comparable to the

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-90455120629597048832008-02-11T11:56:00.001-08:002008-02-29T14:45:08.535-08:00

Thursday will be the first time this decade that I'm going to be spending Valentine's Day on a date. In previous years, I had been able to insure that I was either not in a relationship, or we happened to be on a "break" when February 14 rolled around. Things are different this year because Mandi, the girl I’m sort of seeing, proved to be a diabolically clever opponent. Mandi laid the

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-73407431380812493322008-02-08T09:00:00.001-08:002008-02-29T14:45:20.071-08:00

So I'm going to confess once and for all that I do not own an IPOD. That's right, no Shuffles, Touches, Nanos, MP3 players, or Minis, in any of the various colors, shapes, and sizes available. If you don't believe me, you can search my apartment, and even go into my closet, where you'll find no IPOD related undergarments, such as the IPOD boxer shorts or the new IPOP bra (link below). http://

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-33635036451883140542008-02-05T08:16:00.000-08:002008-02-29T14:45:30.581-08:00

Like a lot of you, I have been a staunch Will Ferrell supporter for many years, from his days as prodigious cowbell maven Gene Frenkle on Saturday Night Live, to his legendary performance as the excitable Frank "the Tank" in Old School, to the seminal moment in AnchorMan when his character Ron Burgundy reveals to the world that San Diego actually means whale vagina. However, I think that Will is

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-61040503588860220822008-02-04T10:18:00.000-08:002008-02-29T14:46:02.011-08:00

I watched the Super Bowl yesterday at a friend’s house in Arlington. All of the attendees were Giants fans, with the exception of a lone, brooding Patriots fan who displayed the same arrogance and lack of sportsmanship we’ve come to expect from Belichick and company. Overall, it was a fun time, as there were plenty of people, beer, and cupcakes. I was, and still am, shocked that the Giants won

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-59612709004457014962008-01-31T09:43:00.000-08:002008-02-29T14:46:25.512-08:00

It started for me with a post on an early Tuesday morning. It was 2am, and I was exhausted, physically and mentally, as my head occasionally fell to the carpet, and my eyes strained to read an entire sentence. I knew I should be sleeping, not sprawled out in front of a computer screen in the middle of the living room, but I didn't give a shit. I had to finish. Finally close to satisfied, I

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-2619635969192263952008-01-29T10:35:00.000-08:002008-02-29T14:46:34.957-08:00

According to the investigative journalists over at Yahoo Headlines, the groundbreaking boy band New Kids on the Block will be re-uniting for a world tour. This means that somewhere out there, five special guys are getting shot up with Botox and fitted for new sequin vests, while hundreds of thousands of women in their 30s and 40s will soon be Hanging Tough and abandoning their children for the

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-63513520669954525442008-01-25T11:47:00.000-08:002008-02-26T09:50:04.682-08:00

This a transcript from a brief online chat I had on Friday afternoon with a 34 year old Malaysian blogger inviting me to be his "friend" on Technorati. STARTHim: HelloMe: HeyHim: Do you have big peni?Me: What?Him: Do you hae big peni?Me: Are you asking me if I have a big penis?Him: Yeah.Me: Dude, that is sick.Him: No?Me: Well, yes. Him: So you have big peni. Me: Listen, I'm not into

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-51067174553378831252008-01-25T08:49:00.001-08:002008-02-29T14:46:49.838-08:00

I'm sick. I probably have a cold, a flu, or pneumonia, but I'm not sure how to tell the difference. All I know is that I've got a wicked cough that makes my throat seize up, my whole body aches, and I can feel the fluid building in my nose. Not helping matters is that my project at work involves cutting and pasting thousands of zip codes into a spreadsheet, a task my boss has told me may or may

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-38216879998552241742008-01-22T12:25:00.000-08:002008-02-29T14:47:08.408-08:00

Ratings (2 1/2 out of 4 ):The other night I caught the flick Juno at the Georgetown AMC 14. I had heard positive reviews, so the bar was set pretty high. Expectations only grew when I learned the film's scribe was a former stripper and blogger by the name of Diablo Cody. I've already got the blog going, so maybe I need to dust off my thong and get a respectable Brazilian wax if I'm ever going to

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4977507273655973467.post-17256985035164016642008-01-18T06:33:00.000-08:002008-03-05T11:39:07.571-08:00

There's an article in today's USA Today which says that the Christmas day victims of the tiger attack at the San Francisco Zoo had been drinking and smoking pot prior to the incident. The article also cites evidence that the three victims had been taunting the tiger, although there is disagreement as to the extent of the harassment. The Zoo spokesman, upon learning about these new facts,

BRADLEY MAZEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715367770629554127noreply@blogger.com0