Random Silliness

Intention- raising the mundane

2013-04-15T14:53:00.001-07:00

one of the little goals I set myself a the beginning of the year was to shoot more thoughtfully. When we went to the Flower Fields at Carlsbad.I was amazed by the color and the smells of the flowers. But I was na mission to look for the mundane and ordinary and make as beautiful as I can.
here are some of what I saw.

Nude workshop

2013-03-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

I was lucky to participate in a workshop teaching nude photography given by Doug McNamee and Henry Wang.
While I am still never going to be a "boudoir Photographer" but I snagged a couple keepers. please let me know what you think

Intention - use the V1 for a concert

2013-01-29T19:52:00.000-08:00

I first heard The Who for the first time with my friend Pam back in Dover Delaware.
I was not really supposed to listen to that kind of music. But I was changed forever by it.

Those drums; Keith Moon had only just passed away.
The commanding bass of John Entwhistle.
The antics and sonic joy of Pete Townshend's guitar.
And Roger Daltry... I never liked the pop pretty boys. I gave my heart to Roger. All other male vocalists would be judged by him.

So yesterday I got to take my new, wonderful little V1 to the dhow with little red, the 30-110 mm lens to see The Who. My intention was to test it in concert lighting, at a distance, on moving subjects. Also, I hoped to capture a bit of history, theirs and mine.

the famous Pete Townshend windmill

dude still has guns and he is past 70!

Simon Townshend, he sounds like his big brother did 20 years ago

Roger can still hit those notes.

Laughing at the crowd

"I won't be fooled again!"

another windmill

Pete has a little melt down

The Two... bad joke

That is Pino Palladino, Bass guitar god, filing the shoes of John Entwhistle and Simon Townshend

totally love Roger

Getting us to sing "PinBall Wizard"

Harmonica

Playing "Drowned" love this song.

The V1 struggled. I started in shutter priority and spot metering. I set the ISO to 3200. It was not working everything was soft. So I switched to Manual and set the shutter at 1/160 which was as fast as I could get it with this lens and still have a the correct exposure. Given that the guys were moving and I was far away.. I was glad to get a handful that were okay. I am no Alan Hess. But then he is in the pit with a D4 soo...

more to come
peace, love and intention
deb

Intent- Layers etc.. 1/19/2013

2013-01-20T10:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, in keeping with my resolution to have a more deliberate approach.
Here is this weeks work on intent.
Pointless not to tell you, that I was looking for people on the move.
And people doing ordinary things. We went to the flower mart in downtown LA, and then kept going to the clothing and fabric district.
Then the very lovely subway took us to Hollywood.
Here are some of the photos.
All taken with my new friend the Nikon V1. Love that little camera.

f1.8 at 1/500 ISO 1400 ;converted to b/w in photoshop

my favorite flowers f1.8 at 1/200 ISO 400; SOOC

my love of bicycles still carries me f 1.8 1/200 ISO 100 :SOOC

dirty bird f 5.0 1/500 iso 400 cropped in lightroom

My intention here was to look closer at simple things. Not just the flowers but the people working with them.

tough way to eat f5 1/200 f 200 cropped in lightroom

flower guys f 5 1/60 iso 560 SOOC

traveler f 5 1/60 iso 560 converted to b/w in photoshop

f 1.8 1/400 iso 1600

hoooray for Hollywood f 5.6 1/800 iso 100 converted in lightroom

I love pussywillows

f 4.5 1/250 iso 100 cropped in lightroom bikes, shadows and fabric layering of intention and meaning.

Okay dear ones I am pondering more intention and have a date with Sarah to take more photos.

Lets start again

2013-01-09T09:20:00.001-08:00

Hey there, remember me?

I am sorry to have neglected you. It was not that I was not thinking of you, but I have been much occupied with nonsense that is not silly or random.

I have been having a crisis of faith friendlies. After much contemplation, I think I know how to resolve this calamity.

But what? What is my difficulty?

I have fallen into the poor habit of just clicking the shutter at random things, with no plan. And it shows. I have not taken a photo that makes me happy in months.

My friend Sharon is committing to a 365 project in 2013. I pondered that, and I know that I can not commit to that kind of effort.

So I have come up with my own project. I want to go back to basics. Old lessons learned in Artsy- Fartsy school.

I am dividing the year into trimesters :

January- April, I will work on INTENT

May – August- I will work on STYLE

September - December – I will work on PROCESS

Sounds easy?

Well to further challenge my poor eyes I am going to define those practices:

INTENT = Layers

Beauty

Cliché/ Irony

Lifting the Mundane

STYLE= Range of expression

Balance

Opposition

Minimalism

PROCESS= Interactive Composition

Time and Motion

Enriched/ hyper realism

luminosity

If it sounds like Painting 101 you are pretty close. I amended the syllabus for photography.

I vow to faithfully share my photos and findings with you. I welcome your critique.

So here we go.

Peace and new beginnings.

deb

Yosemite 2012 part the first

2012-11-07T22:12:00.000-08:00

My perspective of the famous "tunnel view"

Back to Yosemite, this time in the fall.
When we went to Yosemite in 2011 there was still a great deal of snow and Tioga rode was closed. So I was hell bent for leather that I would get there this time.

Like the big wus that I am, as we get to Tunnel view I started crying AGAIN. ( What the hell??)
In my defense. This place, these trees and rocks and rivers, have pulled me since I was a child.
I have stared at and studied Ansel Adams, and then Galen Rowell's photos of Yosemite so long, That coming here was the realization of a dream, that did not disappoint. In truth, it is more beautiful, more powerful in person than photos can relate. This time I had a mission though. I wanted my view of Yosemite. Through the eyes of someone small, and appreciating the little things.

my view.."up"

storm coming in

The rivers were really low, and most of the water falls were dry. So the overwhelming sound of water was more subdued this time.
I missed the water falls. The naked stones were forbidding.
The pine trees were mostly green but the meadows were golden and there was the occasional dog wood or Oak that had fall color.

More soon
xoxoxo
your debra

wandering path

I love this tree

chain of fools

tweetie bird

another

REMISSION

2012-10-10T10:46:00.000-07:00

Remission- the state of absence of disease activity in patients with a chronic illness, with the possibility of the disease activity recurring.

Let’s just look at that definition a moment.

It is a medical half step : you have been through hell, treatment, and pain, and emotional upheaval and so much. The best the medical profession will give you is “remission” . No, not cured, that is a wordy-dird.

I know a young woman that has been battling leukemia. She has been declared in remission, but she will continue to take terrible poison called medicine,for the rest of her life. This beautiful, smart, vibrant creature that I have had the great fortune to watch grow from a wild teenagerinto a poised and elegant woman; has Cancer.
But she does not have to take it sitting passively. She should not have to say" Hi My name is…. Cancer survivor. "

I want to be clear. I am a survivor, I am proud of and celebrate all those that can overcome the disease. However, it sucks to get that look from people.

Cancer

CANCER!!!!

Okay, I have my own issues with that word, that label, that diagnosis. I will confess. Like touching fire, I avoid using that word because it hurts. The memories of going alone through all the fucking bull shit are still…well raw might be a good word. But I relate to my young friends anger, quite well. Even with the support my friend has (and it is amazing support and love which helps) you do this alone. The needles, medicine and sickness are yours. The fear of being dependent on… anyone is really shitty, I have to tell you. If you are reading this you know my complete terror… at the thought of asking for help. This is born, from needing help when I was sick.

I am sorry I could not be polly anna and positive either. I was God Damn pissed that I had to deal with the crap. And I was totally annoyed at the way people treated me like I was damaged. FUCK YOU!! I can still kick your ass.

Of course as a polite society we want people that are terribly ill to accept, and have gratitude and use the cliche's. So I kept my rage and fear to myself. When I heard that my young friend, who was always the happiest person I knew; is angry, lashing out, being a real bear to be around… my brain says, “ no shit!”

To me, anger is a natural reaction of a person of substance and thought. How can a person of passion not want to fight?

"give it up to God"... ah, no, not me.

" everything will be ok" - really, are you going to hold my hair while I vomit, then tell me it is okay?

Calm acceptance, well that comes later when there is nothing left to fight.
But my motto has always been 100mph, balls to the wall.

So my dear girl. Fight like hell, be pissed, but do something with your anger that is productive.

And in the words of my second favorite Welshman “… rage, rage against the coming of the light…” (Dylan Thomas for those of you that care)

I love you and I am proud of you my girl. If you want to punch something again, try me, I am soft, but tough as nails.

Xoxoxo

Depth of Field

2012-10-02T08:09:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a thing happen that changes your perspective? Your angle of view?
Like totally blind sides the way you think the world works.
As a person that takes photographs, that kind of "ah-ha" moment can be quite desirable.
When something clicks into focus and you truly see clearly, it can be a beautiful thing.

I understand the the famous photographer Robert Doisneau said, " I find my back ground and wait for the players to come."
which means, if you have your shit together, and are patient, the image will present it self. (well that is what it means to me anyway) I have been aware of that quote for a long time. When I scuba dive, I find my spot near the coral and wait for the fish to come, instead of splashing around making noise. When I used to photograph birds, I found a nice spot, and waited, usually for squirrels to show up but, similar concept. My logic was if I knew the rules of the game, and choose my background I had a better chance of getting something that made sense to me.
In life, well all bets are off. Finding that background and waiting patiently, is not always an option.
Enter those events, that knock your tripod over. When those things happen to you in a way that does not involve aperture, distance and focal length, your depth of field does not matter.
When something you know (knew) as an absolute, is disrupted. It is the opposite from an "ah- ha moment" That sick feeling in your stomach, the dizzy, disoriented feeling that feels like fear and pain with a splash of the worst feeling in the world to me... regret.
Yeah, I had one of those recently.
My animal instinct for fight or flight kicked in. No logic, just reaction.
Not the best version of myself.
I still feel terrible, uneven and out of balance.
I am trying though, to reset my shot.

Space Shuttle Endeavour

2012-09-24T07:31:00.001-07:00

Not much happens down here in Orange County. Which is pretty much why people move here.
Safe and bland. It is a nice, quiet place to raise your kids and die a slow, boring death. I have not made many bones about the fact that the thing I like best about Orange County California, is that I can leave rather easily, and get to many places that are far more entertaining.
But, and it is a big but, it gets to be hard to leave. Maintaining your life, becomes your life.
Home upkeep, painful trips to the home improvement store, and warehouse grocery store to buy shit that you really do not need are considered a "busy" weekend.
I miss my crappy beach apartment where I could just GO. Or where I could walk to a place, instead of having to drive everywhere. Good lord the traffic makes me want to... but I digress.

So when something does happen here, behind the orange curtain, I get my knickers in a bunch.
Give me a fire, or a nice riot, HELL YES!
(what is that strange beating in my chest, oh yeah, a pulse! thank heavens for disasters)
Well Friday September 21 2012 something properly exciting, and historic flew by our well groomed heads here in the OC.
The final fly by of the now retired Space Shuttle Endeavour.
Every one in the flight path was watching I think. Endeavour was flown via 747 from Edwards air base out in the desert some where, over San Francisco where it flew past the beautiful Golden Gate bridge. The photo were, beautiful. Then she flew down the coast to Los Angeles, past Griffith Observatory and the Hollywood sign, more beauty...past JPL, I suppose that is appropriate. (JPL stands for Jet Propulsion Laboratory for those of you that do not live out here and know that is where this puppy was designed)
Finally, soaring over the Tragic Kingdom ( that is Orange County residents fond name for Disney land) right toward my office. There are no pretty hills in North Orange County. No dramatic landmarks (unless you count the heinous big A at the Angels stadium) So all I caught was the wispy clouds, and the flat, dull blue of the mid day sky.

No pretty bridges here, that is a sshopping mall below

space Shuttle Endeavour in Orange County

Endeavour took the 22E right past our office

Space Shuttle Endeavour

Space Shuttle endeavour

Apparently it looped past our building on the other side but I missed it.

The Endeavour landed at LAX where they will give it a face lift an park it in a museum...

I am glad I got to see it on its last flight.

peace love and something interesting to see

xxoo

debra

Lost ( in the Supermarket)

2012-09-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

My apologies to the Clash. I am not really lost in the supermarket. But I have been a bit lost lately.
I thought I would find myself in the desert, in the dark. It was my hope that the full moon and the quiet solitude would help me find my way.
But, amazingly,it was one of those times when I could not do anything right. I just got more and more angry and frustrated with my own failure to get a single decent frame. Nothing I did was correct. Once I got the exposure correct, the image was still blurry. I adjusted and I fiddled and I readjusted and I changed and it just pissed me off more.

30 seconds f5.6 and really shitty

45 seconds at f8 and shitty

I finally put my camera away and just enjoyed the moon and stars. I tried to think quiet calming thoughts to soothe my jangling nerves.

I rarely get angry at people, or things. But I get damn good and angry at myself.

I was pissed, because I wanted to go out to the quiet and search for answers within myself, and I let the objective get away from me.

I was pissed that I could not focus, either the camera, or myself, on what I wanted.

I was really really pissed, that given a chance at quiet contemplation, I chose to ignore what my gut was telling me to do.

Ah, but lucky for me. I did not stew in silence. Someone that knows me better than I know myself, saw straight through my bullshit, and called me on it. (thank you my constant, selfless friend. thank you for always listening, even when I do not talk)

after the wild fire

No wind

I am still lost. But here are a few photos that did work out okay.

biggus prickus

My favorite dead tree

So what did I learn? Just one thing.
( and that is a "City Slickers" reference for those of you that are clever and know me)

peace, and love, from where ever the hell I am.

your debra

Home

2012-07-29T19:03:00.000-07:00

Old saying has it, that "Home is where your heart is"

watching the Olympics and seeing these amazing young people who have worked so hard for a chance to compete in the games for their " Home"
I have rarely felt a sense of home. I live in a house with all the stuff that goes with a home, but my attachment to the place is nonexistent. California has been where I live now for 16 years, but I have only a tenuous connection to this place. I am an American, and this country has given me opportunity and haven for my thoughts and growth. I am proud of the brave countrymen that defend freedom with honor. But I passionately disagree with our government, on many issues.

For me, home is people. Sarah, Will, CD, Susan and my constant friend, a tiny hand full that are my shelter from the storm.
I ponder the issue of home, because CD's cousin is visiting. He has moved from New York to California to teach up in Santa Barbara county. He is a traveler, and this is his next adventure.

Adrian and CD in Santa Monica

ask and ye shall receive

I asked him to pose.... silly me

sun set in VeniceBeach

skate-dude

up we go

flying

skater kid

skater girl

vibrant community

night moves

alley bikes

zipping by

apparently every one with a camera takes a shot of this tricycle

We went on a little tour to show him some things . CD and I never go anywhere without camera's. Partly a competitive thing, we can not have one get a photo that the other has not. Here are some of my snaps.
thank you for your patience,
more to come
your debra

Long Exposure

2012-07-16T12:04:00.001-07:00

Sorry I have been away, preoccupied with nonsense that is in no way silly. I have some photos to share. One of which is a long exposure. In my mind there was more traffic, so the headlights of the passing cars would be more dominant. But ya gotta take what you are given with grace.
(God, I hate that)
If you do something enough, even something you really enjoy, and it does not change, or evolve, do you begin to resent it? Or worse, just not care about it any more?
I am restless, I am the first to admit that it is not one of my better character traits. I need to keep changing it up, or see forward progress. Hence my need to drag out the dreaded tripod, and point it at something moving.
For what it is worth.

Street lamp Sculpture at LACMA

Street Light Sculpture with an orange filter on my lens

Black and White Light posts

1.4 second shutter F16 ISO 100 (gibberish I know I should say something like "standing still at the speed of light"

did you know there are canals in Venice Beach?

turns out there are pretty bridges over the canals

and cute boats too

( also, I tried out a new font, I think it is too girly what do you think?)
So there it is, more to come,
your debra

Steam Punk Girl

2012-06-05T21:50:00.000-07:00

There was a time in my life when I knew what the fashion pop culture world was spinning nearly instantly, even though I have steadfastly maintained my black black jeans and grey tee- shirt spiced up with a bit of couture here and there. But when some one told me about something called steam punk, I had no clue. A friend that takes fashion photographs for a living invited me to join in on a little photo shoot that involved Steampunk fashion. I went more to visit with my friend than to take photos.
But life has a way of happening when you least exact it.
I met this sweetest young lady, Roanna, who is just starting out in the modeling world.
Although she and I were neither very interested in steam punk. I think my camera was able to capture her gentle personality. I am not good with forced, fake poses, or fake smiles. So I never asked her to smile, I did ask her to move this way and that. I hope she likes her photos.

SteamPunk and Feathers

SteamPunk and the gun

Steampunk Girl

SteamPunk

Steampunk gun

A different sort of Love Letter

2012-05-12T23:00:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful day.

The view from the Look Out

We went on a motorcycle ride. It was a beautiful southern California spring day.

Blue skies, 70 degrees and Ortega Highway is a marvel of asphalt snaking through Cleveland National forest. As you cruise, the big sycamores and California oaks fight for ground with the yucca and cactus. The further up the mountain you go, the trees give way to scrub brush clinging to the sides of the cliff wall on one

side, and the ravine on the other with pines and wild roses. The road has constant hair pin turns and blind corners. It is as dangerous as it is beautiful. And I love it, every frigging inch of it.

The thing about being on a motorcycle that I have come to love, is that all of your senses are involved.

First, I am a visual person.There is so much more to see than you can in a car. The details are sharper, the light is more subtle. The Red Tailed hawks riding the thermals above us, and the mule deer nibbling on the brush in the canyon. We even saw a car that had some how gotten its nose over the guard rail.

lake Elsinore in the distance

Famous Place

Red Tailed Hawk

While the bike itself is loud, and the wind is roaring around you; you can still hear your own heart beating;which at times is racing with excitement when we lean around the sweeping left turns that Chris is so fond of. We communicate telepathically. I can sense his frustration with ding bats riding too close or cutting us off. And when we have a good run, and get up some speed; I know he can feel me grinning ear to ear behind even though I am behind him.

The sense of smell, is incredible. From the eucalyptus trees and wild rosemary on Ortega Highway to the barbecue restaurants in Huntington Beach and the jasmine growing along the road in Newport Beach. And oh, the amazing smell of the ocean as we zipped up Pacific Coast Highway from Dana Point all the way to Seal beach. Every smell is right there, then gone just as fast as you recognize it.

Being out in the open you can feel the changes, from the warmth of the sun on our backs in the canyons to the way the temperature dropped by the beach, the bugs hitting our jackets and legs reminded me how vulnerable we were. It was so nice, and we were having such a good time, we stretched the ride out, and rode in to san Juan Capistrano. That felt so good, we decided that the beach might be a nice cruise. It was busy, stop and go as usual. But the view was worth the aggravation of the old lady cutting into our lane without even looking. The feeling of flying as we broke free from the traffic for a while in Newport and sailed along with the ocean on one side, and the fields on the other. Words fail me.

But the real feeling I got was the sense of camaraderie. From the Look Out Road House at the top of Ortega Highway to the Starbucks in Huntington Beach; wherever there were a handful of people on motorcycles there was community. Standing around admiring each others rides, comparing notes, sharing stories and telling lies, bound by enthusiasm for the sport. There was no difference between the guys on hogs in jeans and half helmets, and the knee draggers on sport bikes. Everyone was cool.

Whether the bike had a japanese, american, german or italian accent, they said the same thing. " lets go!"

I never use this word, but honestly, Today was EPIC!

Be safe my dears,

your debra

Super Moon

2012-05-09T18:15:00.002-07:00

Well in case you missed it, Saturday an astrological anomaly occurred. Simply stated since the moon travels in an elliptical orbit of the earth, on Saturday May 5,2012 it was many thousands of miles closer to the earth than it usually is. And since it was a full moon when this happened, they call it a super moon.

I have always been a big fan of the moon. As a lonely, awkward child I would pretend the moon was following me. A constant friend that would listen to my nonsense. As an awkward adult, I still fancy looking my at old friend. Saturday we were at a wedding that went very very late. By the time we were in a place were we could see the moon, there was no nice vantage point to snap a photo.( although we had brought tripods just for this purpose.
On Sunday, Sarah and I decided we needed an architectural foreground to give the (still) super moon some perspective.
I wanted to go into Los Angeles, maybe put the Disney amphitheater in front of the moon. But the thought of hauling my bum to LA and back was not appealing. So with only 30 minutes before moon rise, Sarah and I drove to a place that has become quite familiar to me. The San Juan Capistrano Mission.
http://www.missionsjc.com/

Yes I have taken 10000 pictures of the flowers and the koi ponds and the humming birds. I don't think I have ever snapped a picture of the still functioning part of the church, this bell tower you see below.
It took a few shots to get one without the clouds, with the right angle, without the camera being shaky.
It is still not perfect. But voila. The super moon.

My Constant (and sometimes Super) friend

If you would like to see some more photos of the moon check out this link.

http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2012/05/supermoon-2012/100291/

shoot straight my dears
debra

Time in a Bottle

2012-04-16T20:49:00.002-07:00

On April 18th, my son William, (Will) turns 18 years old. Holy Hell!!

How did that happen?

As I reflect on 18 years of life with Will, there are all the usual stories of sports and school functions. Will is intensely shy and very quiet, unless the subject is Star Wars. He knows all about Star Wars, the movies, the books, all of it. At one point about 10 years ago, his career path seemed certain, he wanted to be a Pokemon trainer.Then there was the karate years, and ice hockey. Now if you ask what Will wants to do as his career, it is game designer. He does not much enjoy being the subject for my camera, but a while ago he allowed me to take some photos of him with my film camera. Here are a few of the photos.

On the 18th anniversary of the birth of my son. I am reminded of an old song, written by Jim Croce for his own son. Here is a link:

Time in A bottle by Jim Croce

A rare smile

the smirk

listening to tunes while I fiddle with camera

pondering life

I must have said something dumb

Being kind to me

his music is so loud I don't know why he bothers with ear buds

"what???"

Strike a pose

My favorite shot, a smile and those blue eyes

Mug shot

his GQ pose, no idea where he got this idea

"I am not a crook" and he ran away...

So (Janice) I tried not to be sentimental. Mothers and sons, it is a precious thing. As my boy crosses the threshold to manhood, I reflect on where we have been, and where he will go. And there just never seems to be enough time.

hold them close. It goes fast.

love to you all.

Debra

Comfort Zone

2012-03-30T10:11:00.001-07:00

If I win the Mega Millions I am following the F1 circuit

I have heard the phrase "comfort zone" 5 times in the last 2 weeks.

Once in a conversation about complacency and perception.

Once it came up while discussing business strategy.

Once with regard to manipulation and security.

Once talking about my kid and his insecurities,

and once Comfort Zone came up about my pool filter.

(dog hair is not in the filter's comfort zone it turns out)

Every one wants to be comfortable. And most people have a zone in which they operate most effectively. But the combination is sticking in my mind. I do not like to stay comfortable. I am easily bored. So I like to mix it up, try new things, revisit old things. Not change for change sake, but to expand, and experience. The idea of same is profoundly sad to me. Limiting myself, no fucking way. Yes, I will wear my uniform of jeans and a tee-shirt with a jacket, pretty much my clothing of choice since I was 17. Yes I have had the same job essentially for 25 years and specifically for 13. But within that fence, I mix it up personally with travel and experiences.

Additionally, I do not want to be thought of as comfortable. It is easy to take something comfortable for granted. My bathrobe is comfortable, but not memorable. I may be steady, and mellow, but I am by no means comfortable. Please never make the mistake of thinking you know all about me. Only Susan knows me that well, and I still surprise her occasionally.
Comfort Zone...
There is something benignly irritating about that phrase to me.
so I looked it up.

Wikipedia says:

The comfort zone is a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk (White 2009).^[1] A person's personality can be described by his or her comfort zones. Highly successful persons may routinely step outside their comfort zones, to accomplish what they wish. A comfort zone is a type of mental conditioning that causes a person to create and operate mental boundaries. Such boundaries create an unfounded sense of security. Like inertia, a person who has established a comfort zone in a particular axis of his or her life, will tend to stay within that zone without stepping outside of it. To step outside a person's comfort zone, they must experiment with new and different behaviours, and then experience the new and different responses that then occur within their environment.

Well there it is, no inertia for me. I would rather fail while trying, than stay comfortably in my zone and not know what might have been. What do you think? Enlighten me, is comfort a good thing or a damning thing. I am a reasonable person and will listen to what you have to say.

Oh yeah, by the way $640,000,000.... Mega Millions Lottery

I would not rest on that pile of cash... I would be blogging about Bali!!! and Paris, and Madrid and and and...

My dream car

If I win the Mega Millions

Optional

2012-03-23T07:56:00.002-07:00

Sorry for the radio silence. I have been quite overwhelmed by things in life and work.
When you have kids, they are the priority, no matter what age they are. Part of taking care of the kids is having a job (or two) which demands certain amounts of time. Then the pull of life maintenance, cleaning, laundry, the minutia that makes up our existence . It seems to me that there is a constant state of urgency any more. Very little grace or balance in an ordinary life.
Relationships are less about interaction with a flesh and blood person. I swear I text my daughter more than I talk to her. And my son has more friends over x box than at his school. I am pretty anti social. But I do need human contact, and would rather bite my tongue off than ask for it. I have been called a cactus and a prickly pear since I was a kid.
These days social integration is done by an "app" on your phone. The illusion of contact and friendship. But that contact can be at your convenience, it is optional.
Even with that, there is the ongoing pull of never shutting down.It is a mind drain for me, along with all the other demands.
I have always quoted Nietzsche " that which does not kill us makes us stronger" but I am now thinking that is some bullshit.
I have never been the sort to pour my heart out. But there is a process to dealing with trauma. Even small hurts need to be healed.
Saying that going through a difficult time or event will make you stronger, may be true, eventually. But there are some steps in between. My usual path of, "rub some dirt on it and get back in the game" has probably caused more harm than it has helped. ( thanks dad)
One of the best people I know was recently hurt very badly by some one they love. As I listen to her pain, I marveled at her strength in just expressing that she was hurt. I personally am NEVER hurt. (fuck you very much for suggesting it)
My knee jerk reaction is to want to protect my friend, to make it right for her. In this case, I can't fix it. She has to hurt, to grieve, and to find her way to peace with what has happened.
My question is this... How do I find the strength to do this for myself?
Where do you learn to say, "I need..." in a way that is not needy?
How can you get what you want, with out being a drama queen. (which is worse than anything to me)
Is being human, and hurting and healing a necessity or is it optional?

Are you kidding me

2012-02-17T07:50:00.000-08:00

I heard this morning that 2 radio personalities out here in California were suspended because they said something "insensitive" about Whitney Houston on the air.
UGH!
Okay full disclosure, I was never a fan of Whitney Houston. There were times in the 90's when I wanted to stab myself in the ear. You could not turn on the radio without hearing that damn "bodyguard" song. I was more in the Nirvana camp. That being said, I recognize that she had a beautiful voice. I just did not want to hear it.
Additionally, I do not listen to John & Ken unless I am in the car with CD. I do like my comedy served up dark and cold however.
What I find offensive are these groups (choose one, there are many) that like to tell us all how we like to be amused. These zero's with no discernible wit, exercise their power on the weak corporations that own radio and TV stations. In years past, the station that John & Ken work for would have said," sorry you were offended, you can change the station." In that way, the market would decide if the flavor a station was offering was palatable.
But the vanilla idiots are now banding together and calling upon other like minded imbeciles to boycott the stations, and their sponsors.
Where has our sense of balance gone?
Where has our ability to argue and discuss in a respectful meaningful way gone?
I do not always agree with what I hear, but I am willing to listen, and learn from someone with a differing opinion. And I hope I am never arrogant enough to lose my ability to acknowledge a point well made, even of it is not one that I agree with at the beginning of a conversation.
I think it comes down to laziness. You see the folks who found the comment that these 2 radio guys made offensive, are organized and they went to work on the task of sharing their message. Where as, I just change the channel. If I got out my bull horn and shouted "idiot" every time Sarah Palin was in town, well I might get some media attention too, and maybe a group of like minded people would join me. Maybe there would be an uprising against the tea-baggers. Maybe people who actually know something about history, and world events, and the economy would join us. Perhaps together we would have a voice loud enough to catch the attention of twitter and facebook and become a trending topic. Perhaps with our bull horn and some actual facts, we could get the rest of the people that sit in their cars and on their sofa's and bars stool , shaking their heads at the insanity in our country, to join us. To make a noise so loud that the smart but misguided people in power in our country would listen up and do what WE THE PEOPLE want.
Ah hell, that is to much work. I would rather watch "dexter" and let the shit go south....
My darlings, if we keep letting these people take things away, it will reinforce their belief that they speak for all of us.
I am going to write to, and call the station and explain my point of view. How will you stand up to the stupidity you face today?

Shoot straight my friendlies.
debra

My Valentine(s)

2012-02-12T10:38:00.000-08:00

Holy crap, it is Valentines day... again.
I am privileged to be loved, and to love.
I will spare you my sarcasm and cynicism this year.
Whether you have children, significant others,
siblings, parents nieces and nephews, furry children or friendlies...
pick your head up and look at them closely.
If you have none of those, and you are reading this, then you are my are my valentine.

CD snapped this one last year

Check this out:
Your kids are your sunshine

whatever Tuesday 2/14/2012 holds for you, whether it is a fancy dinner with your beloveds, or sitting on the living room floor eating pizza and watching Dexter,enjoy where you are, and who you are with in that moment.

Happy V-Day
XO
debra

celebrating, part 2

2012-01-09T21:13:00.000-08:00

Photography is an evolving art form. Just as with painting, there are portrait artists, landscape artists, abstract and surrealists. Now, you all know my euphemism; "there is an ass for every seat".
The beauty of artistic expression, is that it is fluid,evolving, and accepting. I may not dig what you have to say, but I will give my life to protect for your ability to say it.

1) Robert Mapplethorpe- his use of stark compositions and dramatic tonal contrasts drew me me in. The dramatic studio light and precise focus were very confrontational. I was very influenced by Mapplethorpe's unflinching style. His choice of subjects, composed with formal beauty created tension. Some people called his work obscene. I invite you to be the judge. I find his photographs beautiful. Gone to soon.

Mapplethorpe

2)Jerry Uelsman- before there was photoshop, there was Uelsman. A photo surrealist. This man is a dark room genius. He combines nudes and landscapes in the dark room, still uses film, he has never gone digital. His work inspired me to try new things in the darkroom.

Uelsman, Tree house

Uelsman, keep an eye on the House

3) Richard Avedon- Icon...famous for minimalist portraits , pitch perfect lighting. His photo of Natasha Kineski with the snake, rocked my little world. How did he get her skin to look like velvet, and keep that snakes skin so perfectly textured. DAMN HIM.

Avedon, Damn him

Avedon. Janis Joplin

4) Jim Marshall- rock and Roll photog. Snapped bad ass photos, and captured our heroes up close.

His photos married my two passions. Music and photography. Art made about the artists that set my cold black heart on fire.

Marshall, June and Johnny

Marshall, Johnny Cash

Marshall, Chuck Berry

5- Steve McCurry- national geographic legend. He focus's his lens on the consequences of war. He is able to capture unguarded moments of human experience. His most recognized work "Afghan Girl" is haunting. But then, most of his photos are...

McCurry, Miner

McCurry, Afghan Girl

Steve McCurry

6-John Paul Caponigro- environmental fine art landscape photographer, and a hell of a nice guy. His photos have a painterly quality. They go beyond reality, into surreal. I think he might be magic. He is also a natural born teacher of incredible generosity.

JP Caponigro

7- Vincent Versace- another nice guy, and generous teacher. Mr. Versace has impeccable taste. He paints in light with a deft hand. If I did not love his work so much I would hate him for being so good.

Whatever he turns his lens toward, he owns.

Vincent Versace

8- Jay Maisel- this is the man. He is the teacher of the teachers. A 50 year long career, he is still shooting, and still teaching. Thank all that is divine for Jay Maisel.

Jay Maisel

9- Imogen Cunningham - In her long career with a camera this lady turned her camera on a great many things.

Her photograph's are not flamboyant or controversial. BUt if you study them, there is excellence and precision. Her portraits are captivating and her botanical's, are what inspired me to photograph plants and flowers, She is a true influence on the medium, although a quiet one. She also practiced street photography, while in her 80's. cool broad.

I. Cunningham, Nude

I Cunningham, Cala Lily

10) Annie Liebovitz everyone knows who Annie is. In 1980 when she took this photo, I was a high school freshman. It took me 30 years to understand this photograph. I finally get it. And I thank Annie, for every photo she has created. But this one, so profoundly intimate, still gets to me. And still makes me want to take photos. If I can ever meet Annie, and tell her how much this one photo means.... I am tearing up just thinking about it. (what a sap)

Annie Leibovitz. 1980

These are just the photos that made me stop and take notice. I could have been more scientific, and perhaps in future posts I will explore different genre's more thoroughly.
I hope you will take a look around, see what is going on in your world. Next time you are out, notice who has a camera and what they are shooting. I will too.

shoot straight,
your debra

Celebrating

2012-01-09T15:58:00.000-08:00

Photography is a nuanced and subtle art form.
The news that Kodak is on the brink of insolvency has me feeling nostalgic.
I started to started to think about what makes a great photograph.
It is individual, personal. We all respond to different things.
This year, I want to celebrate, collect, and critique, and hopefully improve.

Lets get to the celebration.
Here are my 20 favorite photos, and why.Beginning with the old guys and gals that started this, at least for me.

1) Ansel Adams: ( it is all his fault, I found his book"the camera" in the library at CR Jr. High)
This is a self portrait. and it moves me in the most basic way. It tells me a story, but makes me ask questions.

Ansel Adams Self Portrait

2) Alfred Stieglitz- brilliant man. The father of American photography and responsible for stimulating the artists of his generation by sharing the artists of Europe with the ignorant Americans. This photo is of his wife Georgia O'Keeffe. It speaks to me of intimacy, but also respect, in humbling magnitude. These two artists inspired each other, supported each other and created together. Is there any greater way to love another? Her gaze is direct, his lens is honest.

Alfred Stieglitz, O'Keeffe

3) Paul Strand- one cannot have a conversation about Stieglitz, without also discussing Paul Strand, his protege. My admiration for Strand grew out of his use of his photography to promote social awareness, and political activism. He was at the forefront of this movement. This photo has texture and tone. It is so rich in spite of its simplicity.

Paul Strand- Swedish immigrant

4) Edward Steichen- again, there is no conversation about the history of photography with out Steichen. He along with Stieglitz founded the "Little Galleries". He led the way with experimentation in color photography. A true generalist, he photographed fashion, war, celebrities, everything.
Steichens' Photo " the pond" sold in 2006 for over $2MM. This photo and the one that I like the most of his work, are unique because he experimented with suspending color pigment in a gum substance that he introduced in the developing process. He did this in 1904. Color developing "sauce" would not be invented until 1907. The technique and inspiration are only a part of why I am moved by the Flat Iron building image. It is evocative for me, the mist, the bare trees, the people out in the night. And of course, its New York.

Steichen, The Flat Iron Bldg.

Steichen, The Pond

5) Edward Weston- technically perfect. His nudes are the standard by which they all should be judged.
But for me, his most erotic photo is this one of a Nautilus shell.

Edward Weston, 1927 Nautilus

6) Margaret Bourke-White, the iconic photographer, didn't just raise the glass ceiling; she shattered it and threw away the pieces.

At a time when women were defined by their husbands and judged by the quality of their housework, she set the standard for photojournalism and expanded the possibilities of being female.

She photographed Gandhi minutes before his assassination, covered the war that followed the partition of India, was with U.S. troops when they liberated Germany's Buchenwald concentration camp. Ansel made me want to learn the camera, Margaret, made me want to be a photojournalist.This photo of the statue of liberty, inspired the way I shoot everything taller than me. :)

Bourke-White, Liberty

7) Diane Arbus- some times pigeon holed by her work, photographing people that were on the fringes, and marginalized by society. Arbus's gift to me, was that she made me look closer, at everyone.
Her photos' are tender. This photo of a teenage couple in New York entranced me when I first saw it.They seem so worldly in spite of their youth.

Diane Arbus, Teenage couple 1963

8) Irving Penn - I cried when I heard Irving Penn had died. He was best known as a fashion photographer, But he did still life as well and had a way of putting unusual objects together in unexpected compositions that made you rethink relationships of things. His work was clean, crisp and tack sharp. This photo of my favorite jazz musician, Miles Davis, is so perfect. Look at the tones, the highlights, the shadows, the detail. UGH!!!!
perfection.

Irving Penn, Miles Davis

9)Dorothea Lange- another photojournalist. Dorothea used her camera to humanize the faces of the depression. Most famously in Migrant mother. But her image of a young father comforting a his child made my heart ache. There is another photo she is famous for as well.

Lange, father and son

Lange, Migrant Mother

Dorothea Lange, Einstein

10)Henri Cartier- Bresson the only non- american in my list... hmm I wonder what that is about. Henri is the father of street photography. While I love this form of photography, it is difficult to define why some photos resonate. This photo may not surprise any one as to why I like it.

Cartier-Bresson- Paris

This is a good start, next up are my 10 favorite contemporary photos.

shoot straight my dears,
debra

Auld Lang Syne

2011-12-30T10:03:00.000-08:00

Hipster on the Train

The man, the myth, SBG

I was talking to my wonderful friend Janice, and she asked me to write something funny. I came up with 2 jokes, and my mind went blank. I thought about funny photos, those I have plenty of and I will share the ones from this year.
Some I took with my phone, some with my camera, and some that others took and shared with me.

My faithful, funny Elvis.

CD snapped this one of me being.. silly

A flower girl gives me the business

2011 was a strange year, with a mixed bag of good and bad news for most of us. I have never been the sort to look over my shoulder. But I am thankful for a few things.

Banksy, who makes me think and laugh

New York City for being a beacon for me

For drinks with Steve

For finally getting to Yosemite

CD and KG who make me think and Laugh

There is a line in the Nirvana song " All apologies"

where Kurt sings"... I wish I was like you, easily amused..."

I have never been so smart, or cool that I was above being silly.

The truth is; I am easily amused.

I can find humor in most things.

Love in the street

Snow in April

Silly Grooms

Soda in May

Sun light though trees

Looking up tree trunks

Rays Pizza... Fuckin' A

tiny snowmen

Sarah and Jack

Handsome surfers

My soul sister Susan

Making CD laugh

California Sunsets

Sarah's sunglasses

Emily's rock

Love on the jumbo tron

smiling kids

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I have hopes for 2012 But I do not resolve to be more serious. I will continue to be Silly, and with all due respect to the words of Kurt Cobain... I make no apologies what so ever.

Happy New Year my dears

your debra

Getting in the Mood Part 5 ( the home stretch)

2011-12-22T21:39:00.000-08:00

We are down to the wire here my friendlies. There are just a few hours left really and it will be nothing but a bag of torn up wrapping paper and the deep desire for a nap. Oops cynical me creeping in the picture.
I forgot to show you one of my favorite christmas baubles.

my Leica ornament

Okay here is my number one way to get in the holiday mood.

I hang out with the kids.

Doing anything with the babies even if they are no longer small, makes me feel the love of the holiday.

Sarah, Megan and Will

Megan is really short

Sarah's best friend Megan has been around alot. She is a good egg we will keep her.

Sarah's hat is a panda

The kids agreed to let me take a picture in front of the "fun tree"

the girls

Stop laughing Will

The kids laughing, and being together is what Christmas is about. I do not need any of the rest of it. Except that it makes them happy. They like my little traditions. The dishes, the toys, the trees. Sarah said that she wished people were as nice all year, as they act at Christmas time.

Me too.

And so my dear ones. As the guy said in that movie. "without hope, or agenda..." I wish you Merry Christmas whatever that means to you. Find something that makes you happy.

Love, Peace and holiday cheer.

your Grinch ( who in the end, finds his own true meaning of Christmas too)

Don't they look cute

Sarah and I, yes, I am tired, but happy

Getting In the Mood Part 4 (nearly there?)

2011-12-22T18:32:00.000-08:00

I love movies, old movies, new movies, BAD movies. It is escapist.

Yes I still love to read. But there is something to be said for

an artistic interpretation of a story.

I am cool with a stinker of a movie.

We all have our favorite holiday fare, of course the classics,

" Its a Wonderful Life and " Charlie Brown Christmas" are on my list.

I look forward to the TBS marathon showing of "A Christmas Story" every year on Christmas eve- 24 hours of Ralphie and his red Rider bb gun quest.

I never get tired of Darren McGavin yelling "Son's of B*tches, Bumpus's"
(my boss has a similar name)
But here, In no particular order, are some of my other favorite movies for the holidays that you may or may not associate with Christmas.

1) Trading Places - Who does not want to beat Wall Street moguls at their own game? Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy are great alone or separately. Add in the eternally beautiful Jaime Lee Curtis. I love this movie. Go ahead and judge me.

2)Love Actually- this film delves into different aspects of love. There is a great ensemble cast and it is set around Christmas time. There is a bit of risque stuff involved in the movie and it is for mature audiences. It does not have a completely happy ending, which is just like real life.

3) Nightmare Before Christmas- Tim Burton is brilliant. The main character,Jack Skelenton, bored, looking for something new and more exciting. He tries something new, CHRISTMAS, and fails. The grass is not always greener. But he tried. I love that song too, "Kidnap the Sandy Claws" so cute.

4) Die Hard- Come on now! Bruce Willis as the unbeatable hero. It has the redemptive struggle, personal evolution and EXPLOSIONS!!! what else is Christmas about? " Yippee Kai Aye!

5) Brazil- Terry Gilliam is a genius. This un-Christmas;Christmas movie explores themes that I revel in. The core is the power of imagination as it battles the powers of oppression and hopelessness. Bizarre and dreamlike... if you have not seen it, give it a try.

Okay we are getting close now my friendlies.
I am still not there. I will watch one of these and see if I have more steam on Christmas Eve, Eve.
Peace, love, and popcorn
your debra