RandomMeows

Oh song of my soul!

2011-06-06T13:47:00.000-07:00

Music has always been my escape. I clean to cope with anger so that I don't explode and say something I might regret, I read when I need to shut out reality and live in a fantasy for awhile and I write when I'm emotional and don't have an outlet for my feelings. But always, ALWAYS, there's music. When I'm happy, bored, excited, sad, stressed or just me, there's music to play in the background and make me smile.

I'm one of those annoying people who sing along to EVERY song. I've mentioned this before. I happen to think I have a decent voice...but I'm also aware that not everyone wants to hear me belt out whatever is playing. I'm sure there's days the boyfriend doesn't even want to hear me...Too bad that he lives with me and has to listen, hmm? I should probably be a nice girlfriend and buy him some ear-plugs for his birthday.

Anywho...since life has been such a stress sandwich lately, music has become even more of a release for me. On extremely bad days, I take a drive and scream along with Linkin Park. On days like today, when I can't really take a drive, I tune into Pandora or make a play list on Grooveshark of songs that have caught my attention lately and tune out as much as I'm able.

Because RM has been so neglected lately and I haven't done a Top 9 in so very long, I thought I'd share today's playlist which just happens to be my current Top 9 songs :)

Enjoy!

Top 9 Current Songs I Can't Get Out of My Head
(In the order they happen to appear on my playlist...)

Christina Perri's Jar of Hearts

The Script's Break Even

Adele's Rolling in the Deep

Daughtry's No Surprise

Pink's Fuckin' Perfect

Cee-Lo Green's Fuck You

Linkin Park's Iridescent

Linkin Park's A Place For My Head (Still my all-time favorite song!)

Carrie Underwood's Just a Dream (For Tyler, RIP)

As you might have deduced, more than a few of these songs are stuck in my head because I've recently seen them on The Voice which just happens to be my latest Tuesday night addiction...and one of the few luxuries I'm afforded right now. It makes me smile when not much does lately. Well, besides the boyfriend, he can ALWAYS make me smile. That might be why he's still the boyfriend...that and the fact that I'm head over hills in love with him.

Anywho, before I get too sappy for you, I'll let you all go and enjoy my gifts to you :p

Toodles, my faithful followers!

"Come and knock on our door..."

2011-05-16T14:21:00.000-07:00

In hindsight, I should have known something was coming. Whenever a shitty week starts with you falling out of your shower and bruising an entire side of your ass, you should probably invest in some psychiatric care. Let's just suffice it to say that if it could have gone wrong this last week, it did.

I promised myself I wouldn't blog about all of this nonsense since it's not only about me. I can't be blasting other peoples' business all over the interwebs if I'm wanting them to still like me and stuffs. So instead, I'll tell you all about how the boyfriend hooked up this little antenna doo-dad and now we have an awesome channel that plays oldies sitcoms.

Case in point, I am currently being distracted from my writing by "Three's Company". Needless to say, I'm a happy kat :) Well, as happy as I can be, all things considered.

Anywho, due to recent stuffs, I will be solely working from home for the unforeseeable future. So any tips, ideas, suggestions or job offers should be promptly directed to the comment section below or emailed to me at: randommeows@gmail.com

And now that I've shamelessly pimped myself out, I'm gonna bail and curl up with some more "Three's Company" :) How's that for a Monday afternoon?

Until next time, take care loves! Toodles!

I need a partner in crime...or at the very least, a coffee buddy.

2011-05-04T11:47:00.000-07:00

Agh! Sooooooo much is happening in the world right now. Part of me feels compelled to blog about it all, just because I should, ya know? However, I have prided myself on being the kinda girl who doesn't do something just because it's expected. So I shall NOT blog about all of the ups and downs and craziness that is out there. At least, not today.

Instead I shall tell you how I've recently decided to start accepting applications for the position of girlie.

Now, for those of you who may not know, a girlie is (obviously) a girlfriend. Most females I know have them. For some reason, I fail and do not. Okay, that's kinda a lie. I do have a few girlies and they are wonderful. However, they're all either miles away or I've met them via the boyfriend and/or the band. And while that is not necessarily a bad thing, it can sometimes limit my girl time.

So I'm accepting applications. I've decided on this method because, well quite frankly, I've found that I suck at making new friends. And now you all know my deep dark secret. I am a shy, awkward and uncertain girl who just wants people to like her.

All together now, 3...2...1...GAG!

For those who are maybe interested in becoming friends with a neurotic such as myself, here is a list of position requirements.

+Applicant will be required to be available most evenings and weekends.

+Must like coffee and music. (This is non-negotiable.)

+Liking to read and/or write is a strong point in your favor, but not necessarily required. However, preference will be given to applicants with this quality.

+Must be able to detect sarcasm, use it in appropriate situations and be quick about it.

+Honesty is key.

+Cattiness will NOT be tolerated. And will be terms for IMMEDIATE dismissal.

+Also, it might be good if you were in a stable, secure relationship. That way there will be less temptation for you to try and snag the world's best boyfriend from me. (No, I am NOT the jealous type. Just stating the obvious.) Plus, that leaves the option on the table for double-dates and game nights as couples.

+However, having to ALWAYS have your significant with you will be an automatic disqualification.

Compensation to be determined based on how well you fit the position's requirements and will payed in the form of my attention and companionship. And also, possibly, in baked goodies. Interested applicants should leave their job pitch in the comments section below.

Whatcha think gang?

I'm off to fold laundry while I anxiously (and very impatiently) await my replies. Toodles!

** A disclaimer. I used the pic today because it cracked me up. I am very much straight and still madly in love with the boyfriend and in no way, shape or form am I looking for a lesbian lover. Not that I have anything against lesbians...just not for me, ya know?

Just to recap: I'm back!

2011-04-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

Oh roller coaster of life, I'm all done with this ride, thanks.

The ups and downs in my life this last month or so have made me so worn out that I have done little else than just put one foot in front of the other to make it through to the next day.

A quick recap:

The boyfriend and I are still truly, madly, deeply in love. We recently surpassed a year and half of togetherness...and we haven't tried to kill each other yet so...YAY!

The temp job is done and I am once again on the hunt for the perfect employment. In the meantime, I've been playing with my photography and trying to decide if I'd like to be more serious about it. The answer is mostly yes. Now to just have it start making me money.

We've got a busy summer ahead of us and so I'm attempting to start planning some things out now. Which reminds me, does anyone have a cheap, refurbished laptop they wanna give/sell me? I'm gonna need to be mobile real soon...or RM will be on hiatus again. And I don't really want that.

Stress levels still remain nuclear some days...but the boyfriend and I are a team and that is helping us to tackle some of the worst culprits. Hopefully there will be some big changes soon.

The weather has been teasing me with glimpses of sunshine. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Spring may truly finally be here. If I'm wrong, I don't want to know about it.

As for the previous post, one of my favorite girlies is struggling with her soon-to-be teenage daughter. Our convo last night prompted the train of thought: What will I tell my son when that time comes? So there it is...and maybe it'll work and help her or other parents. It's an abyss of unknowns and I'm soooooooooooo not looking forward to it. Where's the button that keeps our children little, sweet, innocent babies forever?

Anywho...I appear to back in the saddle and hope to have some funny/satirical/sarcastic posts for you shortly. As always, any ideas, thoughts and/or comments should be left below. Criticisms should be sent to the circular file.

Toodles my dears! A great big thanks for your understanding and unwavering support :) Without you, there would be no RM.

A letter to my son.

2011-04-25T13:07:00.000-07:00

I know it's hard to believe, but I was once sitting where you are now. I had parents that thought they could teach me how to make good choices by telling me about the consequences of all of their bad decisions. I didn't listen then and I don't much expect you to listen now.

It's not your fault, it's human nature. Or maybe more importantly, how we've been raised. From the very first time you rolled from your back to your tummy, we've been praising you for making your own decisions, thinking for yourself and learning from your mistakes. Your first tentative steps followed shortly by a hard fall on your (diaper padded) bottom were a mere glance at what life would have in store for you. And oh how we loved watching you learn.

But now you're at the precipice of puberty and we adults are panicking. Big time.

Instead of remembering how we longed to stand on our own feet at your age, we remember what kids your age are like. And we want to save you, shelter you, protect you. It's our nature, as your parents. We want to save you from any pain.

I don't expect you to believe that I was the child that I want you to be. I lied to my parents, I snuck around and skipped school. I tried alcohol and cigarettes way too young and I got myself into and out of some pretty close scrapes.

I know, from my own childhood, that I can't expect you to learn from my mistakes. And I won't tell you that I regret any decision because I don't. Each one of those choices led me to here. They gave me you, love and taught me about the kind of person I want to be. I can only hope that by sharing, maybe you'll have more information when your turn to make these choices arises.

You are going to have crushes. You're going to "date" and you're going to break hearts...and yes, you'll have your heart broken. You're going to care about someone and you're going to get hurt. It may feel like your life is over, but it will really just be beginning. There will be pressure to go faster than you might be comfortable with, to move more quickly than you really want to. And it's going to take immense personal strength to stand up to that pressure.

You will be bullied. When the time comes and you're the one doing the bullying, remember how it felt when you were in their shoes.

You will have many "best" friends. When a friendship goes sour, try to leave it on the best terms possible and with your dignity intact. God knows I know how hard it will be, but always, ALWAYS try to be the better person. You will be glad you did.

Take pride in yourself and the values that you hold dear but be willing to accept that you won't always be right. Open yourself to learning new things and revising what you've been taught. There isn't always a set right answer. Find what you hold true and stand up for what you believe in.

There will be girls that say they love you and you will tell girls that you love them. To poorly quote Michael Jackson, "Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts." Things won't always work out but remember to treat them as ladies and hold yourself to be a gentleman.

There are consequences to each and every action, some good, some bad and some may not surface immediately. I can't tell you what choices to make, but please weigh the outcomes beforehand. Even just taking one minute of thought can save you a lifetime of hurt.

It is true what they say, as much as is possible, treat people how you want to be treated. Put all the good karma you can into the world and you shall be handsomely rewarded.

I know it won't always be popular to make the "right" decision, but please remember that popularity can and will fade and when it does, your virtue will be all that you can hold on to.

I can promise you two things will always be true.

1) I will always love you. I may not always like what you do or say, but at the end of the day, you are still my son and part of my heart. I can not hate you.

2) You can always talk to me about anything. I can't promise I won't freak out, I can't promise that I will always want to hear what you have to tell me. But because I love you, I will listen and I will offer help if you ask for it.

I'm a firm believer that once the lines of communication have been damaged, there is little to be done to repair them. I promise to not shut you out. All I ask is that you don't shut me out.

You will get warnings, people will tell you all of the horrible consequences for many of the decisions you will find yourself faced with...and you will tell yourself that they won't happen to you. Please remember, they can ALWAYS happen to ANYONE. Protect yourself and be smart. Naivety and ignorance will only bring you pain.

I love you son, and how I wish I could live this life for you so that you will never hurt, never fail. I will try my hardest to not shelter you too much and to give you the freedom to learn your own lessons instead of trying to teach you from mine.

Most importantly, don't forget to smile, laugh and LIVE. You are only young with minimal cares for this short period of time. Enjoy every last second, I can promise you, you will be glad you did.

Spring Cleaning for My Soul...And Yours, too!

2011-03-22T12:34:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday was officially the first day of Spring. Since I can look out my window and see a sliver of sunlight, I guess it must be true.

The thing that most people (the civilized ones, anyway) associate with this wonderful season is: cleaning. As in, Spring Cleaning. Yes, that beautiful act of cracking open windows that have been sealed against the winter's brutal cold, relishing in the fresh (if a tad bit too crisp, yet) air while wielding dusting supplies and grand ideas about reorganizing and simplifying their home. I am not immune to this wonder even considering my love-hate relationship with housework. It's just so satisfying knowing that your house is clean. Like, ridiculously clean.

As someone who values the connection between my mind and my physical health, in the last few years I've also made a habit of cleaning out the cobwebs in my emotional and mental homes. Spring cleaning for your soul is just as important as re-alphabetizing your DVD's. (What?! You don't do that?? Craziness, I tell you!)

Clearing out the clutter, throwing away the drama and breathing in that fresh air is vitally important to staying sane. Each day we plug into our friends, co-workers and acquaintances via Facebook, Twitter, Myspace or texting. And each day we take in their drama, stress and garbage.

Take a minute or two and think about it. You log in to check your messages and instantly you're flooded with "trash". Joe Blow has done such-and-such thing to so-and-so and aren't we all just so very pissed at him? Jane Doe is having a crumby day and her world is falling apart and can't we feel sorry for her? Your fourth cousin twice removed is mad at his ex for this and that and wants the world to know it.

Without thinking, we take this all in, digest it and file it into our little Rolodex minds while letting the emotions attached swirl around us. And how many of these people that are affecting us are necessary in our lives? One out of every five, maybe. Unnecessary, and yet, their drama has just become part of our mood.

So how do we fix this, you ask?

Spring Cleaning.

Take five minutes and clear out the "friends" on your social networking sites that aren't necessary for one reason or another. If it's that one girl you worked with three years ago that you don't ever socialize with, you can probably delete her. And if it's someone that you can't delete (maybe it's a relative or someone that would take it personally and cause more drama than it's worth), most sites have a way for you to modify your news feed so that certain people's updates don't flood your screen.

Sometimes it's a little tougher than that, though. Take the "friend" who only calls or texts when they have a crisis. That's when you have to make a decision. Do you keep forsaking your mental well-being just to be a good friend...or do you stand up for yourself and put up some boundaries with this person?

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as preachy today, it's not my intent. I've just got this topic on the brain and felt that it was my duty to share with you all. After a relaxing weekend at the beach with the boyfriend, I've breathed the fresh air and I'm ready to get to cleaning...both physically and mentally. The clutter has got to go or my sanity will instead, I know this about myself. So for those out there that are like me, this has been my advice to you.

And on that lovely note, I'm off to do my cleaning. Toodles!

From beyond the padded cell...

2011-03-16T13:04:00.000-07:00

"Look, here she comes now. Bow down and stare in wonder..."

Okay, just kidding. You don't really have to bow down. Simply kneeling will suffice :)

I know I've been away for a bit, but I did warn you all.

These last few weeks have been great, terrible, overwhelming and all sorts of craziness. I hardly know where to begin. I will say that without the boyfriend and some pretty stellar friends, I would have been carted off to a padded cell in the pretty jacket with no arms.

Instead, I'm home...rocking the baggy sweats and one of the boyfriend's t-shirts. Yeah, I'm one of those girls.

I don't really feel like re-hashing the last few weeks since I'm already emotionally spent...and it's barely noon. Although, I will share that while helping the boyfriend sort through some totes in storage, I had an AMAZING laugh session last night. A simple summary? Capricorns like to keep underwear in hat boxes.

**You're jealous of my life right now, aren't you?

***Also, just a side note, the boyfriend is a Leo and no, it wasn't his underwear. I'd rather he not get a bad rep because of my blogging. I still have to go to sleep with this man. I'd like him to actually WANT to cuddle with me tonight.

So anywho, life has been nuts and blah, blah, blah. Tonight will be my third meeting of the book club I created as part of my New Year's resolution. I'm loving it, even if our numbers could use a few additions. Tonight we'll be having a St. Patty's Day themed get-together. I'm making shamrocks later to take along for a little game and we'll have some green cookies and some yummy coffee and hopefully a great convo. I'll be giving away a book and yeah, it'll be good to decompress a bit.

This weekend the boyfriend and I will finally be getting our little disappearing act accomplished. If I have to hog-tie him and officially kidnap him, it will happen. The poor man is so over-worked and overwhelmed that if he doesn't decompress, he might just shut down. It scares me some days, that look on his face that says, "I just can't take anymore." I guess that's the hard part about loving somebody. Knowing they're hurting and not having any way to take that hurt away.

Case in point, someone I love dearly has suffered and there's not a thing I can do for them. I know they're hurting and all I can do is offer to listen. It seems so insufficient, so lacking. But you can't force yourself into some one's grief and so I'll stand here, waiting. Even though all I want to do is envelope them in a bear hug of love and never let go.

**This person knows who they are, and if they're reading this...CALL ME! I love you.

Ugh..and now that I've purged and whined and feel no better, I'm off to finish the hoards of laundry that continue to congregate no matter how often or how much I accomplish each day.

In closing, yes, I have missed my writing terribly and am glad to once again have time to write, if not always the ideas to write about. I can't promise that I'll be back tomorrow, but I can promise that you'll hear from me again soon.

Toodles, my dears. Tell those you love how much you love them.

Who's a happy kitty? That's right, I am!

2011-02-26T11:28:00.000-08:00

Oh for sad! I haven't blogged in over two weeks!!! I feel sooooooo bad :(

I could sit here and give you all a long list of excuses, but that wouldn't be very nice when instead I can give an update of all that's transpired in the last two weeks. They've been busy ones, I assure you.

So Valentine's day was simply sweet. The boyfriend and I actually exchanged gifts early. And by "exchanged gifts" I mean I bought him his gift and then I couldn't wait to give it to him so he got it the same day. And then he surprised me by taking me shoe shopping and getting me some STELLAR cute heels.

** Can I just point out that I have THE WORLD'S BEST BOYFRIEND? He buys me earrings, shoes and brings me flowers. Eat your hearts out, ladies.

The days after Valentine's Day weren't so sweet. The boyfriend came down with a cold...and I promptly caught it from him. Yay for sharing germs... A little shameless plugging here, but Nyquil really is amazing. Also, it REALLY is the "best sleep I ever got with a cold medicine". That stuff knocked the boyfriend and I out like Tyson. (The boxer, not the chicken...) Good news is that the sickness only lasted for about a week so we're mostly all better (minus the occasional cough or sniffle). Monday, while at the daily grind, Miss B sent me a text that changed my whole day around. Seems her office needed a temp to help out with some office type stuffs and she was wondering if I was interested. Uh...let me think about this...I can quit my P.O.S. job, make $10 an hour to sit on my butt and make some valuable contacts for my continuing job search. Yeah, where do I sign?

So the remainder of this last week was spent at my new job, earning some monies and loving life. The only downside is that this is a day job, so my writing will be put on hold slightly as there are only so many hours in the day...and this girl still needs some sleep, folks.

And now that we're all caught up, here's what's on my plate this week:

The boyfriend and band play tonight after having the last few weekends off...which means I get to go out and have a drink or five to celebrate my awesome week. Tomorrow is Sunday, which is Game Night with Miss J and company. Which means there will be more celebrating :) Wine, anyone?

Monday is back to my new job and more than likely, the receipt of my first week's pay. Are you reading my mind? SHOPPING!!! No, really, I must behave myself. Instead, I'm trying to convince the boyfriend to let me kidnap him and whisk us away next weekend for some much needed R and R...and more importantly...alone time :)

** Hint** This is where, if you have any heart at all, you all chime in and say, "Come on, boyfriend, let her kidnap you!!"

And with all of that goodness, it's really hard to be in anything but a fantastic mood. Which is why there's no ranting or complaining or whining today. I know, you're all heartbroken, aren't you?

On that sappy sweet note, I'm out to work on some side projects before I have to start the beautifying process for tonight. I hope you all have a great weekend :)

Toodles, my loves!

Love is in the air!

2011-02-12T13:25:00.000-08:00

"...I need you like a heart needs a beat..."

I have decided that I love, love, LOVE when the boyfriend has his 2-day weekend in the middle of the week. What started as a potentially shitty Thursday with a plumbing snafu (Pun intended!) turned surprisingly sweet with a peaceful drive and dinner at one of my favorite places EVER. Yesterday was more of the same with me baking and decorating cookies for the upcoming holiday and spoiling the boyfriend with one of his favorite meals. (It helped that it's one of my favorites too...)

And with all this love and smooshiness in the air, you all can probably guess what this weekend's list will be. Or maybe not. See, I could get super sickly sweet on you and name the Top 9 reasons I'm truly, madly, deeply in love with the boyfriend. But I'm trying to keep readers, not scare them away. So I'll restrain myself. But only slightly.

Instead I shall share with you my favorite peoples. The wonderful loves that I could not live my life without. Each person has such a vital place in my heart and my life that I would be cold, lonely and lost if even one of them were missing. And because my loves each hold their own place, I cannot list them in any order of importance. All of them together make up the pieces of the puzzle that is my heart.

My 9 Loves

The Boyfriend aka My Lucky Charms

You guys get to read about the boyfriend more often than not. So you already know that he's a kick-butt guitar player and that he spoils me rotten. What you maybe don't know is that the boyfriend and his love gave me the strength to move on with my life and make it into something of which I can be proud. His support and encouragement helped me to realize my dream of writing and gave birth to this blog. His overflowing heart reminds me everyday how very lucky I am...and continue to be. "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." -Emily Brontë

Nubs

If you've been following along, you may have already guessed that the grotesque picture is THE Elephino. Personally, I think I'm better looking... I could go into some spiel about how I've always been able to make better friends with men than women, but really, it's irrelevant. I would be drawn to Nubs even if I didn't believe that men and women can be strictly platonic friends. I could swear that we are twins that were separated at birth except for two glaring facts: 1) He's a few years younger than I am. 2) He's the much better looking one. (Of course, I could be biased...but I'm probably not.) Nubs gets me. Probably more than most people will ever be able to imagine. He is the brother of my heart and I would fight to the death to protect him...if he would only let me. "Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense." -Mark Overby

Lil Sis aka Mick

If I were just a little more tan, people would probably believe that Mick and I are actually sisters. Cursed with the same curly mass of craziness that some call hair and both of us a tad on the fluffy side of things, we could pull it off visually. Listen to us talk or read some of our text convos and there is no doubt. Mick and I both suffered similar personal tragedies mere months apart. At nearly a decade younger than me, her strength fueled mine and her love helped me to survive the loss of my sweet baby girl. Even if I had never met Mick in person, I would know her in any crowded room. "We picture love as heart-shaped because we do not know the shape of the soul." -Robert Brault

Lovely Yellow Sunshine

It's an interesting twist of our equally confusing minds to explain our nicknames for each other. Suffice it to say the picture is an adequate explanation to us. Lovely is exactly that...lovely. She has a heart of gold that always sees the good in people, even when I'm sure there's none to be found. And once she has you confirmed in her heart, her impression of you is nearly set in stone. As I've said before, she's the only person alive who's met me and still considers me a lady. Our friendship is confined to chatting online, texting or crazed phone calls while one or both of us is toiling over a stove because, sadly, she insists on living hours away from me. But I am a stubborn lady, and I will get her to move closer, I will. Until then, we shall share our recipes online and inspire each other to follow our dreams. "Who, being loved, is poor?" -Oscar Wilde

Miss J

Oh lord, where would I be without this woman? Having her in my life is often times crazy, harried and borderline insane. I also know, without a doubt, that not having her in my life, I would be crazy, harried and definitely insane. She and Miss B are probably the only people I know who know exactly how I feel each night the boyfriend heads off to practice or another gig. Although the band is how we met and what forged our first bond, I know that I would still have Miss J if (GOD FORBID!) the band were to disband (so to speak). Our Sunday night Game Nights are something to look forward to all week and I'll never say no to a cup of coffee and a day of yard-saling with her. "Loving is never a waste of time." -Astrid Alauda

Tom-Tom

Ah :) My own personal GPS system. If only, right? But it's true. Tom-Tom has been the little voice guiding me for years...ever since I was a floundering college student fresh from a divorce. He was the one who kept me company watching Food Network in the wee hours of the morning when my anxiety caused horrible bouts of insomnia. And he was there when I was diagnosed with Diabetes and quit soda cold turkey to make me green tea and listen to my rambling. He taught me how to be a true friend, never judging, always supportive...simply by being that way himself. He's the guidance I may not always need, but is only a phone call or text away. He has a way of showing you the decisions that need to be made without making them for you. "Love is not singular except in syllable." -Marvin Taylor

Goober aka Bubba

There was a point in time that I used this friendly nickname for any number of people I cared about. That was until it became Bubba's nickname. When you break it down, it's really pretty accurate. A complete nut wrapped in a sweet outer coating. Goober is as crazy as I am, which is saying quite a lot when you think about it. But without having known him, I would be so much crazier. His sarcastic sense of humor matches mine in a way that I know that there will always be at least one person who gets my jokes. He's also a giant teddy bear, always there for a hug when you've had your heart broken or a hand up when you've fallen on your ass yet one more time. He's my football buddy, his team the arch nemesis of mine, which always keeps things interesting. But most of all, he's my friend. And at the end of the day, that's all that matters. "Love is being stupid together." -Paul Valery

D and Ames

These girls share this spot in my heart for one major reason. There is nary a memory from my pre-teen and teen years that does not include one of them. My girls shared my early heart breaks, crushes and social awkwardness. We grew up together, shaping the women we wanted to be together, planning our lives together. And while things may have not turned out like we planned (When does life ever?) and we might not be the models, actresses or all-star musicians we dreamed about, we will always have those memories. I had my first cigarette with Ames, shared my first true loss with D. We may not be as close today as we were when we were 15, but I would not be who I am today without having known these lovely ladies. And for that, they will always hold a place in my heart. "Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives." -C. S. Lewis

My Lil Man (Last, but most definitely not least!)

Oh he that is the light of my life! I never dreamed or planned to be a mother at 18 but I wouldn't change my son for all of King Midas's gold. His unconditional love keeps me going when I would otherwise give up. He started life as this little bundle of blue that I was so unsure of. So I held him and rocked him. And now, at 10, he's growing into such an intelligent, handsome young man that I am once again terrified of the future. His smile is infectious, his laughter is music to my ears. And his love is a sign that maybe, just maybe...I've done something right. "Love me and the world is mine." -David Reed

Oh now I feel all verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic: A pineapple is neither a pine nor an apple. Discuss.

Happy early Valentine's Day, loves. I hope you all have a great weekend. I'm going to enjoy a rare Saturday night off with the boyfriend by having dinner and a movie in. Snuggles and cookies for dessert... It's gonna be a good night, tater!

Toodle, my dears! And tell the people in your life how much they mean to you :)

Coming Soon!! 1-800-KALL-DRK

2011-02-08T12:27:00.000-08:00

I've often joked with the boyfriend that I should change my name to some equivalent of Dr. Ruth. Invariably I am the one my friends turn to with relationship issues. And most of the time, I really don't mind. If I can help, I will.

Sadly, sometimes I can't help. It might come as a shock to you, but I don't actually have all the answers. Of course, if you ever repeat that, I will deny it. I do have a rep to protect.

Anywho, with Valentine's Day right around the corner it seems nearly every one's mind is zeroing in on relationships...or lack there of, for some.

Take The Today Show for instance. They had a segment this morning about online dating sites. They were showcasing 'niche' sites and the variety available. The problem with this was that not once did they touch on the cons of Internet dating. Yes, isn't it wonderful that there are now sites that cater to single parents? But doesn't that also make it easier for pedophiles and other dangerous persons to seek out what they prey upon? Also, with each new dating site you join, there's more of your personal information that is being shared. Where do you think spammers and telemarketers get their contact lists?

But, alas, we don't think of these things. Instead we marvel at the convenience of having a dating site tailor made for our needs/wants.

On a slightly different take...does one ever stop to wonder why these guys/girls are resorting to online dating? Sure, sure, you're a busy working girl/guy with a hectic schedule and you're really just not into the bar scene anymore so {insert popular online dating site of your choice} seems like a brilliant compromise for your crazy life. But when the Brad Pitt/Kim Kardashian look-alike that is everything you've ever wanted in a man/woman comes along, do you stop to ask yourself why? I mean, if he/she is as good looking as their photo would have you believe, shouldn't they have more numbers than Barney Stinson? So WHY?

My point is simply this:

We only show people what we WANT them to see. You don't introduce yourself to your new boss by telling them you bite your nails or that you went through a freakish goth phase in the late 90's. No, you play up your assets and pray that those pesky little quirks stay hidden in the back of the closet. So yes, he may look like Colin Farrell and seem to be a viable candidate for sainthood...but maybe, just maybe you should keep in mind the quirks you keep hidden...and wonder what's in his closet.

Of course, you could just go all in and then email me when it all goes south and you can't figure out why. I'll let you know when I've got a fee schedule worked out ;)

Happy Tuesday, y'all. Toodles!

"For most people, Friday's just the day before the weekend."

2011-02-04T15:02:00.000-08:00

Woohoo it's Friday!!

Was that sufficient excitement for you? Because, truth is, the fact that it's Friday really isn't such a big deal for me. Sure, it means I get to go out with the band tonight and that the boyfriend and I get to sleep in tomorrow morning...but other than that, it's nearly the same as any other day where I'm home and the boyfriend is at work and I have writer's block. Yeah, it's like that.

In fun news, I am now sporting rock star quality nails thanks to Miss J AND the ladies and I enjoyed a fabulous Girl's Night last night courtesy of Miss B. I'm thinking I need a nickname for the lead singer's new girlfriend. I can't do the initial thing since we already have a Miss T...so maybe she'll just be christened LSG. (for Lead-Singer's Girlfriend...genius, I know) Also, the boyfriend's daily schedule got a little tweak so now he has every other Saturday off, starting tomorrow. Yes, yes, YES we're pretty excited about having a few weekends off together.

And I suppose, since it is in fact Friday...I could do the responsible thing and get this blog back on some sort of regularity...and post a Top 9 list for you to enjoy this weekend. (While I'm hopefully enjoying the coast...keep your fingers crossed for me, y'all!)

Top 9 Favorite Movie Quotes
(Once again, these are in no specific order...they are all equally awesome!)

"Samsonite! I was way off!" -Dumb & Dumber

"You're killin' me Smalls!" -The Sandlot

EMBEDDING WAS DISABLED (silly, I know)

"Thanks a lot, Bin Laden!" -The Hangover

"Show me the money!" -Jerry Maguire

"Houston, we have a problem." -Apollo 13

"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley." -Airplane

"Who needs a time machine?" -Knocked Up

EMBEDDING WAS DISABLED

"How many Assholes we got on this ship anyhow?" -Spaceballs

"Holy Schnikes!!" -Tommy Boy

The great part about most of these clips is that they usually have more than just the one memorable quote. The other great thing is that most of these lines can be worked into daily conversation. Just go ahead and ask the boyfriend how many times one of us has said, "Thanks a lot, Bin Laden." Also, I say, "You're killin' me Smalls!" a lot. Like, probably daily. It's not all my fault though, people just have that effect on me.

Anywho...there's your list for this weekend. I'm off to finish laundry and make sure that the boyfriend and I have clean clothes for tonight and this weekend. Also...it might be nice to actually make the bed so that I can crawl into it in the wee hours of the morning when we finally make it home. Ugh.

Toodles, y'all!

80's Rock and Disgust...Breakfast of Champions!

2011-01-31T14:50:00.000-08:00

"It's the end of the world as we know it..."

Okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic. Or maybe not. Is it just me, or has everything gone to pot lately? Since when did it become socially acceptable to over-share?

When one logs onto Facebook or Myspace or Twitter or even their friendly, neighborhood chat room, do they really want to read what sexual position you and the boyfriend tried out last night? Or that you wound up in the E.R. because of an untreated hygienic problem?

My resounding answer is not just "No," but "HELL NO!" complete with shuddering.

Unfortunately, this seems to be where I found myself this morning. Rocking out to my "Best of the 80's" playlist and staring in shock at my computer screen.

Have the boundaries of what is and what is not socially acceptable been broken down to near non-existence? Or have I become the crotchety old woman gasping at the slightest faux pas? I so hope it's not the latter, I would like to think that 28 isn't that ancient.

And so I ask all of you...

Where do you draw the line? How much is over-sharing? Can I tell you about what I ate for lunch but NOT about how well it was digested? Or would you not mind hearing about all of that but would prefer I keep stories about bedroom Olympics to myself? (Not that I would share those stories...or even use that term. *shudder* Just trying to make a point here.)

And now that I've shared all that wonderful food for thought, I'm gonna bail on ya. I've got buckets of laundry to get caught up on and whatnot. Toodles, my dears!

Who wants to be in love anyhow?

2011-01-24T13:36:00.000-08:00

Oh, it's a sad day for the single ladies around here. The last available man of the band has been snatched up. And it's about time too.

After nearly a year with these guys in my life, I've started thinking of them like a group of big brothers. I love them all even though there are times that I want to strangle them or shake them until good sense returns. But I am sad when they are stuggling and estatic when they are happy. Today is an estatic day.

When the boyfriend joined the band, he (i.e. a man in a committed relationship) was part of the minority, holding down the fort with the married drummer. Then Miss J snagged the other guitarist. And Miss B grabbed onto the bass player and neither of them are letting go. We were left with a single lead singer. But now, no longer...he has found himself a lovely lady and though we've only hung out a few times, I think she's gonna be around for awhile :)

And in light of all of this happy, lovey-dovey nonsense, I've composed a special Top 9 list for you. Since it's been forever and whatnot. I know, I know, I've really been off my game lately. I'll apologize profusely later. Until then, enjoy!

Top 9 Signs Your Girlfriend Might Be Getting Sick of You

* She lovingly suggests a "Boys Night Out."

* She's not answering your calls or texts any longer.

* Your dinner has an arsenic aftertaste.

* She repeatedly calls you "Tom" during sex...and your name is Bill.

* She takes notes while watching Snapped.

* Your "new" bed oddly resembles the old couch.

* You have a new roommate...who's name is Tom.

* You come home to find your clothes decorating the front lawn.

* She's suddenly stopped planning your wedding.

And if you can't get the point from all of these helpful tips...then maybe you should run along and help her get that wood chipper unjammed. Just be careful not to fall in, mmmkay?

I hope you enjoyed today's list :) Have a great week, y'all!

Toodles!

Pillow Talk...in an SUV.

2011-01-23T10:38:00.000-08:00

Does it count as pillow talk if it doesn't happen in bed? I think it should, especially since it was nearing 2am and the boyfriend and I were oh-so-tired.

As you may or may not know, the boyfriend wears glasses/contacts. That is to say, he usually wears contacts, but also has glasses for when he's not wearing contacts. If he doesn't have one or the other, apparently things become all sorts of fuzzy. Not so good if you're trying to play guitar or subsequently drive your tipsy girlfriend home in the wee hours of the morning.

So we arrive home, but are both so tired that we are just kind of sitting there in the car. Earlier in the evening, the boyfriend had asked me to keep his glasses in my purse in case he needed them. (He's been having some issues with his contacts the last few days, so he was taking precautions.) Fast forward to us in the car, chatting.

Me: "We should probably head inside and get to bed."

Him: "I need to take my eyes out and put my glasses on."

Me: "Oh, let me give them to you now, that way I don't forget. You know how I am. I'll get inside and forget that I have them in my purse and then I'll set it down somewhere and then we won't be able to find your eyes." (May I remind you that I was a little tipsy?)

Him (mockingly): "Where are my eyes? The one-eyed-man took them. You'd think he could have at least left half of them."

Me: "He's a greedy sonovabitch."

And we explode into giggles. Yeah, I'm just that good.

I should probably explain that the one-eyed-man is a recurring villain at our house. It's my little rejoinder every time the boyfriend says, "Oh no" or "Oh shit" or "Where is such-and-such item?"

Me: "I didn't do it, it was the one-eyed-man!"

I'm real mature like that.

Well, about as mature as you can be while having pillow talk in your car.

"...Look what you made me do..."

2011-01-21T11:00:00.000-08:00

I feel like a failure.

I've been pouring out my heart and soul for so long, trying so very hard to make EVERYTHING work, to balance life and still be sane.

Newsflash:

I am NOT sane. Not in the slightest.

My hair is falling out, I have days where I'm ravenous and stuff myself with everything in sight and others where I can't eat a thing and my body aches with pent up anxiety. I tear up at random moments and find myself bawling at the simplest of things. I can't keep unloading on the boyfriend, he already has so much on his shoulders. I feel like my girls have got to be tired of hearing the same tirades and my bff has his own life to lead without trying to navigate mine as well.

I have tried and tried to keep the negative, whining, less than stellar parts of my life from this blog...but, alas, it can't be done. I am at my wits end, quite literally.

Don't get me wrong, there have been some good points over the recent weeks. Yesterday I got my hair trimmed and now it has a few more layers and I feel like I look a little less like Medusa. I also got a new phone and so I've been busy playing with a new toy. The boyfriend took me on a date to see The Green Hornet in 3D. And it was AWESOME.

But at the end of the day, I still have to turn off the lights, lay in bed and be alone with my own mind. And, quite frankly, my mind is not such a great place to be lately.

My heart is breaking slowly...

Does anyone have some super glue?

What do you dream about?

2011-01-17T12:12:00.001-08:00

"I have a dream today."

Ironic (maybe) that I have memorable dreams the night before MLK day, don't you think? Except my dreams weren't the lofty dreams of equality and peace. I dreamt about all of my teeth falling out. It was more than a little creepy. Like, I think I might call a dentist today...just to be on the safe side.

I heard something on the news last night about MLK day that irked me. I don't remember what station or who said it...but someone was saying that in today's times we need to remember MLK's message of tolerance.

This didn't irk me because I don't believe in tolerance. On the contrary, I think tolerance is a grand idea. However, we are a society who take things literally. And in today's age, complete tolerance is unrealistic. We can tolerate our neighbors without granting them carte blanche to our homes and personal information. There CAN be a balance between tolerance and caution. We need to remember that tolerance and ignorance do not need to go hand in hand.

And so, I was irked that whomever said this little gem didn't elaborate. To them, tolerance was the answer. It is...but is not the only answer.

I will leave you with this bit of food for thought:

I am not racist. I do not discriminate due to race. I am prejudiced against stupid people and trash. Last time I checked, each race (even my own Native Americans) have each. And until we, as a global community, can eradicate the ignorant fools and the trash that clutters our gutters; we will always have racism.

On that note, Toodles!

Pillow Talk, Kat style!

2011-01-15T12:40:00.000-08:00

Have you ever seen MTV's Cribs?

Nearly every shot of the master bedroom includes the line: "This is where the magic happens."

I've always wanted to ask, "Where the hell do you sleep, then?"

Last night I realized that maybe, just maybe, not all of those people were referring to sex.

It's light's out and the boyfriend and I are snuggling, saying good night and I love you and whatnot when this gem comes out: "How many people do you know that would punch you in the nose and then make you breakfast? That's right. Now go to sleep, I love you."

Now before you all get up in arms...I was offering to punch the boyfriend, NOT the other way around. Also, I would never actually hit him..unless, of course, he's kicking my ass in cards. Then, and only then, I have been known to slap his arm.

I get a little worked up sometimes. I can't help it.

So, rewind to the beginning of the convo that prompted previously mentioned gem.

The boyfriend mentioned that he didn't want to go to work in the morning. I offered to punch him in the nose. He said no, because he didn't want to miss tonight's gig. I countered that if I punched him early enough in the morning he could miss work but be fine and dandy by tonight's gig. He wasn't sold on the idea so I offered to make him breakfast in bed after I punched him. I thought it was a great deal.

He didn't.

So alas, he woke up and went to work this morning. I made him breakfast anyway...well, sort of. If nuking a breakfast burrito counts as "making him breakfast".

Anywho...the boyfriend made a very good point before we FINALLY went to sleep last night. I should start a new blog topic and call it Pillow Talk and have it be all the wacky things that get said while we just lay there talking.

In case you're wondering, I already tweeted it this morning. Maybe we can make it a Trending Topic, whatcha think?

So, a la Sassy's Scenes from a Marriage, here's to the birth of Pillow Talk.

And on that note, Toodles!!

Repugnant is a beautiful word. Just sayin'.

2011-01-10T12:14:00.000-08:00

"...Oh hold me now, I feel contagious..."

Just kidding, I'm not really sick. Unless aches and pains are catching...in which case, you might not want to get too close. Is it normal to have arthritis at 28?

On another note, it was a busy weekend. Or maybe it just feels that way. Could I be getting senile? Lord help us, that's all we need now. Demented Kitty. Remember the name, you'll be seeing it in the news...

So as I was saying, it was a busy weekend. The band was hosting a hospitality suite at the fair convention Friday and Saturday. Translation: I saw very little of the boyfriend on Friday...and only slightly more on Saturday. Although, the other girlfriends and I did decide to join the guys Saturday night and partake of some of the free booze and snacks that were flowing. I saw someone literally crack open a wine bottle. (With a knife, y'all!) I also saw someone drink out of a dirty wine glass. As in she grabbed Miss B's used glass off of the counter, saw that there was a little left, took the last swallow and then refilled the glass and preceded to drink. We were all more than a little grossed out. And before you ask, no, none of us knew this lady so it wasn't like she was drinking after a friend. Which still would have been repugnant. Who drinks someone else's backwash?

Ooooh...but I did get a new purse and sweater on Saturday, so I was feeling pretty dolled up :) Every once in a while my inner girly-girl comes out. I can't tell if the boyfriend likes it or not yet...especially since it usually involves me spending money.

Sunday was fabulous. Bottom line folks. I let the boyfriend sleep in and surprised him with one of his favorite breakfasts in bed. Stuffed french toast. It's sinful. Then we watched some football and finally got our lazy booties in gear. We stopped at the store for a few last minute groceries and it was off to Miss J's for dinner and game night. In hindsight, the boyfriend was really spoiled since I made one of his favorites for dinner too...

Also, it would appear that since our schedules have all realigned, game night is back on for Sunday evenings :) YAY!!! I heart game night. It's a way to relax with some of my favorite people, there's always good food involved and who doesn't love a little friendly competition? Exactly. It's a blast and it's a great way to unwind after a busy weekend. And since the band successfully schmoozed people this last weekend, I foresee many more busy weekends in our future.

Note to self: Stock up on the wine.

And even though today is Monday, my good mood is not dampened. (Unless you count the aches and pains...which I don't.) Tonight the Oregon Ducks will be playing in the BCS National Title game. And I will be watching. With the boyfriend. And possibly a few close friends. It promises to be a fantastic time! Especially since it's kinda like a date night for the boyfriend and I. We all know how much I love date nights :)

I have to say folks, even though we didn't win the lottery (and yes, we did buy tickets...), 2011 is starting off to be a pretty decent year.

Until next time, Toodles!

Buh-buh-buh Happy Birthday!!

2011-01-06T12:13:00.000-08:00

Today Random Meows is a whole year old :)

On one hand it doesn't feel like an entire year has passed since I sat down and started exploring the blogging community. On the other, it feels like I've been writing my tales for you all forever. (Not in that "this has totally gotten old and stale" way either...)

Not so long ago when the boyfriend and I were celebrating our one year anniversary, we did something that I loved. Laying in bed one night we looked back over our year together and pointed out memories that we made each month. Since January is generally about saying goodbye to the past and moving forward, that's what I would like to do here.

Random Meows: A Year in Memories

January 2010

Random Meows was born with a tale of procrastination and turtle/ducks. We travelled back in time and learned about personal bubbles. I wrote about passion and shared my bucket list. Not too shabby for a start, eh?

February 2010

I gave up soda for Lent and took on the First Lady. We mused about what it would be like to be a guy for a day and the power of thought. From Pepsi to prayer, all in one month.

March 2010

I got up close and personal, we talked about tomatoes and how gross feet are. I gave Michael Strahan some dental advice and argued with the television during one of many bouts with the cold from hell. I also talked about getting older and my obsession with dirty songs. It was an informative month.

April 2010

I jumped on my soapbox and got REALLY personal. I became a groupie. I had an unorthodox Easter and shared my boyfriend application. We talked about Dr. Love, Top 9 Lists were born and I bashed on superheroes. The inner bitch was starting to emerge.

May 2010

We drooled over dream men and I had an allergic reaction. I hinted that I might want to be someone just a little more funky and told you about things that creep me out. I had some pillow talk and jumped back on the soapbox in the name of FREEDOM. Disney made an appearance and I argued with the T.V. some more. Chester Bennington and ferrets...it just doesn't get more diverse than that.

June 2010

We truffle-shuffled our way through the 90's and discovered Ja-Mexicans. I shared my favorite authors with you and missed out on Father's Day. We talked about people I love to hate and I shared my redneck tales. I also learned that I don't like grape vodka. Who knew?

July 2010

The boyfriend and I ran away for the 4th and I entered my candidacy for sainthood. My favorite funny guys made an appearance as well as a guy in a dress. I talked about aromatherapy and shared the fact that I'm a lush. Here's to the High Life, indeed.

August 2010

I gave you 28 years of knowledge while the boyfriend and I had a "Weird" birthday. I got my first gig as a freelance writer and shared my favorite desserts with you. I braved the triple digit temps and introduced Tips for 'Tards. We discovered that I am not, in fact, down with the sickness...nor do I like IT being what IT is.

September 2010

I took a trip to the E.R. and was exposed to more than just germs. The computer took a nose dive and I was MIA for a bit. Kotter brought me back just in time to take on the entire male species.

October 2010

The boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary with the pornographic dancers. We planted flowers for my baby. Mike and Molly made their debut into our lives while I pondered illiteracy and gave you my favorite songs of all time. Aren't I the generous one?

November 2010

Medusa told us all about Halloween and I called the entertainment industry out on some of its 'Tards. The cold from hell came back and we saw T.V. favorites from my childhood. I sent kudos to my fellow bloggers and New Kids made a comeback. I gave thanks and cooked my first holiday meal for the boyfriend.

December 2010

I shared the greatest story ever told, parts one and two and made a holiday bazaar wish list. I contemplated running away and gave you a list of places I would go. We had loss and heartbreak. I gave relationship advice as only I can and shared some holiday nostalgia. Together we raced towards the end of 2010.

And now, on this alternately dreary and slightly sunny January day, I look back on 2010 with a smile of accomplishment. This blog and the writing that it has inspired and produced were the makings of the first New Year's resolution I've ever been able to keep for the entire year. Sure there were times I faltered or struggled, but week after week there was another post to prove to myself that I could, in fact, do this.

A huge thank you to all my readers. Without you, there would be no me. Well, there would, but I probably wouldn't still be online. Except maybe on Facebook...that thing is like crack.

I hope 2011 is as fruitful and rewarding as 2010 was...for all its ups and downs, I still came out on top last year. And in the end, that's all that really matters folks.

Until next time, Toodles!

Happy 2011!!

2011-01-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

It's the first Monday morning of the new decade.

For the record, I am so not impressed.

However, I've promised myself that I will not start this new year of blogging with whining...so, moving on.

Friday night's bash was...well, it had its ups and downs. One of my good friends came to visit and got to see the band play for the first time. We had a drink and chatted and laughed while we people watched. She left early to head to another party and I proceeded to capture the last night of 2010 on digital film (or lack there of, as the case may be).

Miss J came by for a few minutes right as the ball was getting ready to drop. We both got our midnight kisses from the boyfriends and then exchanged well wishes for the new year. She headed home to continue the kid-friendly party there and I settled in for the last set.

Insert a question for you all:

Is it considered good luck when one starts the new year off with a hit to the head?

Not ten minutes after the guys headed back on-stage, I get a nice whack to the head. Now the only thing that might be construed good about this scenario is that I was hit by one of those plastic containers that sit on the tables and hold lotto slips. So maybe I'm supposed to get knocked over by a large sum of money? I dunno...but maybe the boyfriend and I should go buy a few lotto tickets tonight.

We finished the evening and headed over to Miss J's for the after party. I played DD so the boyfriend could have a few drinks. I also played the new Pictionary with the little man that you draw on...I wasn't great. But I wasn't terrible either :)

A synopsis of our New Year's Day? The boyfriend got to experience his first ever hangover (Miss J makes her drinks strong and sweet...they'd kill a candy cane, folks.), we both slept way in and had a nice lazy day which lovingly stretched into Sunday as well.

Anywho...as many of you may know, this Thursday marks a very special day. It is the official one year anniversary of Random Meows. What you may not know is that the birth of RM was the result of one of 2010's resolutions. For as long as I can remember, I've had either a book or a pen in my hand. If I wasn't reading something, I was trying to write something worth reading. Last year, while discussing in what direction I wanted my life to move, I told the boyfriend that I was going to start writing again...and seriously this time. A few short days later I had my answer. I would start a blog. And good, bad or otherwise, I would work at it all year long and see where it took me.

Well folks, this is where it has taken me:

I am now a freelance writer with three different companies that host my work. I have this blog and one other that will be returning from hiatus this year. I have a Facebook fan page and I have people in multiple cities and at least two different countries who read Random Meows.

Not too shabby for a girl who spends the better part of her days in her jammies.

And so I say to you:

A resolution can be made and kept if your heart is in it. I am already working on my resolutions for 2011 and will be sharing them with you shortly.

A great big thank you to all who read my ramblings each week. I know for a fact I wouldn't have been able to make it a whole year without your support, ideas and feedback. And to everyone out there who's struggling and wanting to make some changes, remember this:

Our desires are held back only by our fears. Change is the necessary spice to life. The path to each of our dreams begins with a single step. How many steps will you make this year?

Until next time, Toodles my dears!

From Cloud 9 to the Daily Grind

2010-12-29T20:15:00.000-08:00

Is it 2011 yet? No? Well, damn.

Obviously Christmas came and went for us. The boyfriend was kind to my impatience and we exchanged our gifts Christmas Eve night. He swears he loves everything I got for him...and I'm mostly inclined to believe him :) He spoiled me (as he usually does) and so I was floating on cloud nine for most of the weekend.

Unfortunately Monday morning came and off to work for the both of us. And for some silly reason, it feels like I haven't stopped running since then. Finally tonight I'm able to sit down with my second love (the computer and its interwebs) and attempt to get some other work done. All though, writing has never really felt like "work" to me. I guess that's just how it is when you're doing something you're truly passionate about.

So now that you're all up to speed on the chaos that is my life, let's see what else I can tell you...

The band plays Friday night for a huge New Year's Eve bash. I shall be there, front and center....hopefully with a great friend or two. I will also probably be partaking of the drink specials. I've only recently come to realize that this year is one of the first New Year's that I've had "adult" plans and so I plan to do it up right...however that may be. (I may need a few pointers...)

Saturday marks the beginning of a new year, a new decade and, for some, a new era. I don't know if any of my readers make resolutions but I do. I haven't always, in fact, there was a period in my life that I was sure resolutions were the dreams of fools. I don't really remember when or why I changed my mind but change I did and I'm proud to say that this last year I was successful in keeping not one, but TWO resolutions. But more about that later...

Since the boyfriend and I both have Saturday and Sunday completely and totally OFF from everything...we have plans to do nothing. And it will rock. I have plenty of little projects around the house that I would like to spend some time on. I think I might even make a stew and bake some fresh bread or something equally cozy. And yes, all of that DOES constitute as doing nothing.

And with all of that goodness awaiting me I suppose I should call it a night. Seeing as how I have to work for the next two days before I get any of that goodness. Damn daily grind and needing the monies for bills and stuffs. {GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE}

Until next time, Toodles my dears!!

"Ohh, there must be some easier way for me to get my wings."

2010-12-24T13:04:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!!

Or Merry Christmas Eve!! (If you wanna get technical all about it...)

No daily grind for me until Monday, the boyfriend has a short day and then is also off until Monday, all of the presents are wrapped and the stockings are ready to go and we're stocked up with apple cider and hot cocoa. Christmas dinner is thawing in the fridge and almost all of the baking is done. Oh yeah folks, it's gonna be a damn good weekend :)

In spite of it all, I am actually feeling a bit of the holiday spirit. I've got breakfast planned in the morning (french toast, sausage, eggs and fruit) and dinner planned for late tomorrow afternoon (rosemary pork roast, potatoes, fresh rolls, baked pasta and veggies) and plenty of games and Christmas movies. I'm a little nervous though...I just hope everyone likes their gifts. The boyfriend assures me he will...but he might just be saying that because he loves me.

I struggled with what your holiday list should be. It was the only thing holiday related that I couldn't absolutely decide on one way or the other. I had many ideas, and I had many ideas offered up from friends but none of them lasted very long in the chaos that is my mind. And so, more nostalgia it is...

My Top 9 Favorite Christmas Memories and/or Traditions

Watching It's a Wonderful Life every year.

This is my mother's favorite holiday movie. Every single year for as far back as I can remember, Mom has required that we all sit down and watch the movie together as a family, either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. As kids we'd all grumble and whine and, truth be told, even a few times as adults there was some whining involved. But since Mom's golden rule is no fighting on Christmas, watch the movie we did. Secretly, I've always loved the movie and if I could pick one thing I'll miss this year, it's watching it with Mom.

The year I discovered the TRUTH about Santa.

I was SIX. Sad, I know. Short story is that I found a bike in it's hiding spot (By complete accident, I swear!!) a few weeks before Christmas. I didn't think much about it at the time, but come Christmas morning and there's the same bike with a gift tag that reads "From Santa" and my little six-year-old eyes got all kinds of opened. To my credit, I managed to keep the story alive for my little sisters. I don't even think I told my parents about that story until just a few years ago. See y'all, I CAN keep a secret after all!!

Baby oranges and coconut for breakfast.

I'm not sure how exactly this little tradition got started, I only know that it came from J's side of the family. Every year for Christmas breakfast (and usually other big holidays too...) we would have mandarin oranges sprinkled with coconut for breakfast. I know it sounds kind of funny but it's part of my youth. And a testament to it's staying power as a tradition? My mother continued it even after her divorce from J. I have now served it to my own lil man...and just this Thanksgiving I shared it with the boyfriend. And before you ask, yes, we'll be having it tomorrow morning. It's one of those things that I think will never change.

Please Mom!! Can we open just one present early?

Anyone who knows me knows how very impatient I am. I blame my family. Every year the week before Christmas is spent with my sisters and I bargaining with Mom. Her resolve never lasts long because it never fails, every night for about a week before Christmas we beg and she finally gives in letting everyone open JUST ONE present early. (It was always JUST ONE but you knew you were going to get to open another the next night so it never really mattered.) I've often wondered how we even have anything left under the tree by the time the big morning comes. When we were really little Mom would let us open a gift on Christmas Eve that always held our new jammies, robe and/or slippers. Then we would have nice new comfies to wear the next morning while unwrapping gifts and eating our baby oranges. I tried sharing this little tradition with the boyfriend but he's stayed steadfast and won't even let me have a peek :( He says if I'm good, we can open gifts tonight. I don't think he fully realizes that he's depriving me of a family tradition.

"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth."

Good lord, I can't tell you how many times I've heard this song. As a wee one, I'm sure it was played every year, multiple times. When my sisters were very smallish (4 and 6 or so) they played it over and over again so that they could both sing along until they were hoarse. It was our version of America's Got Talent. Sometimes I think it's not officially Christmas until I hear this song...which reminds me, I should probably take a little listen :)

NURTS!!

I'm sure this game has many other names...but my family adopted NURTS since we don't swear. (That is, we don't swear around certain family members...) It's like a group version of solitaire. You can have as little as two or three people but the more the merrier (and crazier). When my step-dad's family comes for the holidays we've had as many as ten of us crowded around the table. A word to the wise? More than five or six people and chaos will ensue. My calm, passive pastor of an uncle actually knocked a chair to the ground one year. It was beautiful! What better way to burn off some of that tension from playing nice all week?

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

It is not, I repeat...IT IS NOT Christmas until I have seen this classic. Fortunately for the boyfriend (or maybe unfortunately since I made him watch with me...) both the original and the Jim Carrey versions were on last night so I got my fix. And now you can all listen to me croak out "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch" over and over again. (Before you ask, no, I have NOT gotten back full capacity of my voice. Damnit!) Maybe one of these years I'll even do my hair like one of the Whos from Whoville...

Sinterklaas

I believe I've mentioned before that I was a military brat growing up. And so, as a result of a stint overseas in Europe, my family picked up this wonderful tradition. Every December 5th we set out a shoe and fell asleep with dreams of sugar plums and whatnot. On the morning of December 6th we would race out to see what Saint Nicholas had left us. Candy if we had been good, a switch if we had not. As was the case most years, a switch with candy if we had been both good and bad. It's a bit impractical for me to continue this as an adult. (I now know how gross feet are and will not permit ANY form of edibles being placed in mine or the boyfriend's shoes.) However, I still shared some of my favorite European food with the boyfriend on December 6th to mark this little memory this year.

Crazy Relatives

No holiday is complete without the obligatory relative that refuses (for whatever reason) to conform to what is acceptable. Whether it's your aunt who likes to pinch every one's cheeks (big or small) or the distant relative giving a sermon on the evils of youth today each time they catch you on your cell phone; EVERY family has someone. In my hugely extended family...we have many. Which is why you can usually catch Mom secretly spiking her cranberry juice in between rounds of cards. And why the kids are playing Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who has the pleasure to sit next to Aunt Pinchy at the dinner table. Or why absolutely ANY excuse to run to the store for some last minute forgotten item is pounced on by nearly every person in a two foot radius. Back when I smoked (secretly) I ran to the store for that forgotten but completely vital item nearly every twenty minutes just to sneak in a quick cigarette for my sanity. But Christmas just wouldn't be the same otherwise.

No matter what your holiday traditions are or what your plans for this weekend may be I hope that you are all safe in your celebrations. And maybe today's list will inspire you to take a look at what traditions you'd like to pass on. Sharing our memories and teaching new friends and loved ones about our past is the way traditions move on and stay alive. And it's through this that we remember where we came from. So to those I love most, bust out the Martinelli's and Scrabble, it's Christmas!!

Merry Christmas readers! And until next time, Toodles!

Thanks for the memories Bubba and Columbo.

2010-12-22T14:23:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here staring at my computer screen and all it's blankness wondering what, if anything, of substance I have to write about. Apparently sinus troubles = writer's block. Who knew?

With Miranda Lambert's hit "The House That Built Me" swimming around in my clogged mind, I'm tempted to write some poignant stories about my childhood. It must be all that holiday nostalgia creeping in on me. Well...it's as good an idea as any.

One of my absolute favorite people when I was younger was my maternal grandmother. Grandma W and I shared a special bond that I'm not sure I understand even now. I believe I've mentioned before that my mother had me at a fairly young age (16) and so, understandably, her mother was probably less than thrilled. I've been told by my uncles and occasionally by my mother that Grandma was adamant about not liking this baby that was about to disrupt her household. That is, until I was born.

To hear one of my uncles tell it, my grandmother's previously frozen heart just melted at the sight of her newborn (and first) grandchild. Since I was clearly not in any position to take notice, I'll have to trust him on this one.

I don't have any memories of my very early childhood but I do have stories that my mother, uncles and even my grandmother have told me for years. One involves one or both of my uncles strapping my car seat to a skateboard and watching me roll down the large hill upon which our house was sitting with my mother chasing after me. Another involves me dressed in a little baby t-shirt and sweat bands, riding on my uncle's shoulders while he danced around to Olivia Newton-John's "Let's Get Physical". Clearly my uncles had fun whilst babysitting. Sometimes I wonder how I made it to see double digits.

I have two very special treasures from this time in my life, both from my grandmother. One is a red quilt that was made by the sisters at her church and given to me when my mom brought me home from the hospital. The other is my teddy. He's battered and torn now, his once shiny yellow satin ribbon is now a dingy scrap of cloth still clinging to his neck and his music box has been run through the washing machine one time too many, he now croaks and whines instead of singing the sweet melody of my favorite lullaby. As sad as he may look or sound, that bear will be a part of my life until the end of days.

My grandmother was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes when my mother was still a young girl. I don't know why she was never able to get her lifestyle or health under control, but by the time my family had moved back to Oregon, Grandma had already had surgery to remove part of one of her legs and was confined to a wheelchair.

My mother and grandmother had a very tumultuous relationship, much like my own with my mother. (Any one noticing a pattern here?) Because of the nature of their relationship, it was often that I would visit my grandmother alone. Which was fine with me. My weekends with Grandma are some of my most favorite memories. She taught me how to bake, how to do jigsaw puzzles and fostered my love of the Portland Trailblazers. Together we watched Columbo and In the Heat of the Night. (Grandma had a crush on Bubba.) We would watch game shows and play along, challenging each other.

My grandma taught me that you didn't need to have money to have fun. Her monthly disability payments didn't allow for much 'play' money but what little she did have, she always used to spoil her favorite grand baby. My mother had other daughters and Grandma didn't love them any less...but as she once told me, there's something special about being the first.

Grandma passed away due to complications from her diabetes when I was just a sophomore in high school. Of all the people who've come and gone in my life, I miss her most. To use her words, it's not that I love the others any less...it's just something special about the first. Grandma was my first family member that was more than just family. We had a friendship, a bond that extended past the fact that we shared blood. Her loss cut me deeply and to this day I think of her with tears in my eyes.

The lessons I learned on those weekends at Grandma's will stay with me forever. And hopefully, when I'm older (MUCH older) and I have grandchildren I can show them how to bake pink cupcakes and how to put a jigsaw puzzle together. We can watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune and I can smile through the tears knowing Grandma's legacy is living on.

I'm sorry folks, I really had hopes that today would be a little more light-hearted. I guess my fingers and my brain had a different idea. I'm off to continue with preparations for the holiday. Anybody want to help me finish this blanket?

Until next time, Toodles! And don't forget to tell your loved ones how dear they are to you.

This one goes out to Mr. Brightside

2010-12-20T13:13:00.000-08:00

I really need to stop taking these little unscheduled hiatuses- especially if I mean to make 100 posts by my first birthday. If the boyfriend and I could just FINALLY kick these colds that keep lingering around then maybe I wouldn't have spent the majority of the last four days in bed. Since this round of the cold from hell involved me not having a voice much over a whisper, there weren't many arguments with the T.V. I know, I know, you're all so very disappointed, aren't you?

Instead I had plenty of time to think. (When my brain wasn't trying to squeeze its way out through my ears...) Did I learn my lesson and take notes this time? Nope, most definitely not. I'm stubborn that way. Which you should all probably know by now.

In some weird form of restitution for my absence, I've taken advantage of the fact that I have so many friends lately with relationship struggles and comprised the following segment. Enjoy!

Tips for 'Tards: The Relationship Edition

First and foremost, you must stop wishing that a) your last relationship had never happened, b) your last relationship had never ended or c) your ex would die in some horribly fantastic way. I don't say this to burst your bubble (okay, maybe I do get some sick pleasure from bubble bursting...but still...) but because it is vital to your ability to move forward in the relationship world.

Second, embrace being single. I know it sucks to be alone, especially when you're not used to it. However, not wanting to be alone anymore is not a good start for any new relationship. You need to find yourself again and be happy with who you are as a person before you try sharing that person with someone else. Otherwise you're setting yourself (and your partner) up to fail.

Third, it is not always a bad idea to make a list of qualities you appreciate. Writing information down has a way of solidifying it in our conscious minds. I'm not saying to make a "shopping list" for the perfect mate...because, as we all know, no one is perfect. But it is a good idea to know what qualities you can't live without...and what qualities you can't live with. For example, if you're a clean, neat person...you probably shouldn't date someone who is a slob. Just a tip.

Fourth, and I can't stress this enough: COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION. And for all the "special" folk out there- Communication is not simply one person talking and the other listening, swap and repeat. You need to learn to express yourself, to talk about how you're feeling and what you're needing/wanting or you will never be able to have a truly successful relationship. Even if you can't talk about something right at that particular moment, just saying something like, "I can't talk about this right now, but we're okay," can go a long way to preventing hurt feelings or even an argument. Also, as you may have guessed, this one is important for both parties. So if you're dating a non-talker...might want to do some evaluation.

Fifth and final, nine times out of ten, your friends will be right. If you have one friend telling you it's a bad idea you can probably take it with a grain of salt. If you have five friends telling you that your new crush isn't a good fit, maybe you should start paying attention. And if you have ten or more friends telling you that your new Mr./Ms. Right is all sorts of crazy chaos, buddy, grab your things and run for the hills. That many people who know you closely can't all be dead wrong.

I know a mere five tips can't possibly encompass everything I've learned about relationships. However, there is laundry and baking that needs to be done before this weekend. Just a few more days left until Christmas, y'all!

I hope you had a great weekend and you're all happily in the holiday spirit. Much thanks and love to my friends who let me pick their brains for information for today's blog. And double that to my friends whose relationship struggles inspired today's list. Don't fret, it's bound to get better loves!

Until next time, Toodles!

"...The more I see, the less I know, the more I'd like to let it go..."

2010-12-15T14:28:00.000-08:00

Oh, hello again. Miss me much?

I kind of sort of played hooky on Monday, I hope none of you mind. I needed it though.

Friday's post included a shout out for prayers for my family. Unfortunately, our hurt little girl didn't make it through her surgery and passed away shortly after the blog was posted. Although I didn't know her personally, (I have a HUGE extended family...) I am still overcome with sadness. My heart aches for her family, for her parents. It is unnatural for a parent to have to bury a child. And yet, it seems more and more I hear stories of children whose lives were cut short.

Why?

Oh, I'm sure I could go off on some rant right now about the dangerous world we live in but, honestly? I just don't have it in me. Instead, I'm floundering, searching vainly for answers, for something to take away the pain I feel for people I love who are hurting beyond belief.

Before you suggest it, I tried alcohol. I drank both Friday and Saturday nights while out with the band. It didn't help. I've had alone time, boyfriend time, time with the girls, hell, even time at the daily grind. Nothing works for long. It's like I only get a brief reprieve. For a short moment I forget all that's wrong and I laugh a little, maybe crack a smile. And then the silence creeps in and my heart cries loudly reminding me of all of the hurt.

My family is overwhelmed with guilt and grief. How do you show someone the life lessons you've already had to learn the hard way? Is there anyway? Or must we simply stand by and hold the hands of our loved ones while they cross these bridges?

For once, I'm afraid I don't have any answers, just questions. If any of my faithful readers have some answers for me, I'm all ears...or eyes as the case may be.

I'm sorry I don't have something more uplifting for you today...maybe next time.

Toodles.