reyes-chow :: FAITH

Top 10 etiquette tips for tweeting a meeting, class or worship service

2009-10-28T08:28:34-07:00

More and more we are seeing tweeting become part our everyday life. From sharing information about disasters and revolutions to informing followers of your breakfast menu or latest crush, like it or not, some form of micro-blogging is probably here to stay.

One of the ways that tweeting is seeping into our day-to-day is through the live-tweeting of meetings, classes and church worship services. Now I am not talking about live-tweeting a conference or some other event that WANTS you to help get the word out, but smaller types of gatherings where there is an expectation that you are paying attention to what is going in the room and may be expected to participate in some kind of discussion and/or deliberations.

The obvious and easiest reaction is to simply forbid tweeting, but as we all know this can be a slippery slope and can give other folks certain strategic advantages. Now I might even agree that as long as everyone was off the grid - turn off classroom wireless and instruct folks that we are offline - creating a twiiter-free zone has it's place, but for the most part, I think coming to a consensus about appropriate usage is the better way to go . . . thus this list.

So here is my list of ways that you can use this tool well in the context of a class, meeting or worship service.

BE PRESENT - Your primary job is be present in that space. Twitter should enhance, but not distract, so if you find yourself wandering off from the topic or focus, shut it down.
HONOR CONFIDENTIALITY - Be sure you can read whether there is some explicit or understood sense of confidentiality. Closed business meeting are clear, but when there is no stated understanding, you should be careful when dealing with deep personal stories in any context. I think you can respond to a story you heard if it moved/touched you, but not every story is yours to tell.
USE FAVORITING - This is the single best "tip" for those that tweet during these kinds of events. To remain present, fight the urge to follow and respond to your tweet stream. I know that there is a reason that you follow people, but just click on that little "favorite" star and go back to it later in the day.
BE DISCREET - Don't be tacky. No one likes having "texting guy" sitting next to him with the phone all up at eye-level so everyone can see that he is cool ;-) Again, most of these gatherings are NOT about you, so don't draw attention to yourself. This may mean that as you are tweeting, as if you were taking notes, simply make eye contact from time-to-time and occasionally take in your surroundings.
USE TAGS - One of the most frustrating things is for many folks to be live-tweeting a gathering and folks are not using tags or are using different ones. If a central element of tweeting is to help spread information and engage in some discourse, please be sure folks can find the info. #pleaseuseyourhashtags
QUOTE CORRECTLY - Please be sure that when you are quoting someone, you get it right. If it was a quote worth passing on, others will quote it as well, but just be careful. Also please to include the speakers twitter name if you have it.
REMEMBER IT IS PUBLIC - Now it seems that this should be understood by now, but there is always room for reminders about the public nature of online interaction. Tweeting is transparency at it's core, so be sure that you would be willing to say in public what you tweet online. In the same way, this is the joy of tweeting. You can posit your thoughts, questions and responses in order the engagement can be deeper and more broad in its reach.
BUILD UP - I am a big proponent of using all of these social networking tools to build up community. And while there is a place for challenging and righteous indignation, tweeting hateful or hurtful comments to matter how witty we might think it is, is not helpful in these kinds of situations. For instance, after someone asks a questions in class, tweeting "Man, he is an idiot!" may not add to the building up of community . . . even if it is true ;-)
DON'T OVER DO IT - Again, being at a larger conference or gathering where twittering is expected, tweeting at too high of a rate makes it obvious that you are not fully engaging in the process at hand. If there are deliberations going on, leave other observers to do the play-by-play, but you should remember #1 from above.
REMEMBER ITS JUST A TOOL - The most important thing to remember about any of these new technologies - as totally freaking awesome as they are ;-) - is that they are simply tools, nothing more. These can be used to move communities forward in ways that we could not have imagined only years before, but the technology should never be the focal point. Use it well.

Okay, that's it. Please feel free to add your thought with a comment or twitter them and tag with #twetiquette. If there are some more good ones I'll expand the list.

Friends are Friends Forever . . .

2009-10-24T18:30:23-07:00

You all remember that Micheal W. Smith song, Friends are Friends Forever? Oh sure you do and admit it, you like it. You may mock those who get all teary and sway back-and-forth at conference good-byes, but you and I both know that if not for those BFF's - yeah I just used "BFF" - you would not have survived middle school with as little damage to your psyche as you did.

Over the past few months, I have had some meaningful interactions with some close friends where I have needed to do some leaning and others where I have had to do the propping up. As I reflect on these things I am reminded of those grace-filled friendships that allow all involved to truly discover and grow into who God intends for us to be.

Inspired by the response to a call anti-conference thread on twitter by Carol, I was reminded of two important groups in my ministry that I was not able to be part of this year due to my moderatorial travels. As I connect with those folks in other venues, I am again reminded of how much I miss having met with them this year.

First thank you to the Racial Ethnic Advanced Pastoral Study Seminary, a group of clergy from my area that has been meeting for over 20 years - I started meeting with them in 1995 - and who's past saints have paved the way for so many. 15-20 of us meet over a week at a retreat center to study, pray and lift one another up in the midst of our ministry. This past year we lost one of the great servants of our day, Rev. Dr. Frank Jackson who's ministry touched so many, but who's very life taught us all the nature of being pastor, prophet and priest in the world today.

The other group that I lift up is one that I have been part of for nearly 10 years, the used-to-be-titled "Young Urban Pastor's Gathering" is a group of folks who self-identify as serving in an urban context. Now named the "Urban Pastor's Covenant Group", we gather in a different city each year to simply find ways to grow together in our understanding of God's call on our lives. For the laughter, tears, challenge and comfort that we have offered one another over the years, I am grateful.

These two groups I consider a gift from God. You all know who you are and as we each go through changes in our lives, calls and dreams please know that, while I was not able to be with you this year, you are in my prayers.

See you next year.

And if you want a great song about the nature of friends, here is David LaMotte performing, We're all each Other's Angels. Feel free to sway and cry a little if you like, I won't tell anyone ;-)

www.reyes-chow.com is on hiatus

2009-10-24T18:14:02-07:00

In an attempt to focus, focus, focus, unless really moved to post something non-book-writing related, this blog will go on hiatus until sometime in 2010. Would love to have you join me in the adventure of writing, Embracing the Gray: Musings on Family, Faith and the Pursuit of an American Dream.

E. the G. blog | @embracingtheG on Twitter | E. the G. FB Fan Page

The book writing begins in earnest, come along?

2009-10-20T19:21:06-07:00

It has been a while since I have blogged anything of substance lately - no offense to those who think facebook quizzes are of substance - but life has been pretty wild as of late. Travel during the summer/fall have taken a toll on all involved, we just added two new staff at the church I serve and, slowly but surely, I can feel the denomination beginning to shift in their relationship to me as moderator.

So . . . that does begin to beg the question, "what then after I am done being moderator." With just over eight months left to go in my term, questions have begun to get more reflective in nature both about the church as well as my own ministry and call. It's a good time: a little calm, a great deal of reflection and some great opportunities for discernment. And while I am not "checking out" early, remember that this is a finite term of office and one does not simple flip a switch and return to pre-moderatorial times. Over the term moderators change, the communities from which they came change and there needs to be some thoughtful processes to go through in order to re-engage and continue to respond to God's calling.

One of the things that is most exciting for me is that Mission Bay Community Church is starting a process to explore "tentmaking" as a staffing model for the future. There is a great deal to be thought through and worked out, but I am excited about the conversations that have already begun. Barring some discovery that would say this is a horrible idea, we will have the equivalent of one full time pastor made up of two folks: myself as the pastor and an associate that would also be a tentmaker. This shift would not be done for fiscal reasons, but at my request and more importantly for the good of the church in the long run. For more info feel free to read the tentmaking Pastoral Letter.

So you may be wondering, "So Bruce, what WILL you do then with the other part of your time?"

That's a good question. Hoping that God's plans and my plans will line up, here is what I am exploring:

BLOGGING . . . Hoping to pick up some freelance blogging gigs along the way. Not my primary interest at this point and may simply pick up my blogging discipline here in order to drive more traffic and ad revenue.

GOD COMPLEX RADIO . . . I am having a blast being part of the God Complex Radio crew. We have been in some conversations about the future of the show and will make some kind of announcement about our next stages of life very soon. Be excited, be very excited . . . well, maybe not VERY excited, but at least moderately excited ;-) Good stuff is a coming!

BOOK . . . yeah, I am going to venture into this whole book writing thing if for no other reason to get it out of my system. If you remember, a few months back I let you know about my decision to self-publish, well I have been slowly working on it and now that this tentmaking process has begun, there has been some time freed up for me to finish the darn thing.

But what will it be about, you ask?

What it will not be is a book on church leadership, social media or denominational reflections.

The Working title is, Embracing the Gray: Musings on Faith, Family and the Pursuit of an American Dream - to be released on May 2, 2010 - and simply tells one person's story of finding calm in the midst of the chaos of life. I love story-telling and this will be my story . . . with all the giggles, struggles and joys that God has brought into my crazy life through family, church and community. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll be surprised at what you find out about me.

So how exactly does one begin a memoir-esque book at ripe old age of 40? I suppose it could begin with a ranting diatribe for all the young whipper-snappers out there with the first lines being something along the lines of, "Back in my day . . ." Or better yet, I could set context and intrigue and go with the opening line from one of the classic Steve Martin movies, "The Jerk," "I was born a poor [insert dissonance causing self-identified ethnic group here] child . . ."

Nope, my story begins and really ends with the words that would greet me more times than I can count from my mother as any of her children would go off to discover and challenge the world, "Make good choices . . ."

I hope this is a good one.

What this means is that my attention over the next 4-5 months will be focused on only four things: family, church, moderating and the book and I won't be as scattered as I have been recently trying to also keep up with all of the Facebook and Twitter activity that I have been part of. And while I will miss this, I am looking forward to the book process and sharing that with you all of you are interested in joining on the adventure.

The ask . . . since I am going for the this whole self-publishing thing, I am going to need to rely on you, to help me learn about the process, share my adventure with others and eventually sell the dang thing, so if you want to be art of the adventure, please consider following along . . .

Subscribe to the Embracing the Gray blog where most of my blogging energy will be as I wind my way through the entire self-publishing process.
Follow Embracing the Gray on Twitter where I'll tweet my way through the adventure. I'll still tweet at @breyeschow, but not focused on @embracingtheg details.
Favorite the Embracing the Gray FB Fan Page Where there will be pictures, reviews and all other kinds of goodies as the process progresses.

I think that's it for now. Thanks for taking the time to read and I'll see you at the bookstore where I'll be making tents . . . or at the tentstore where I'll be writing books. You know what I mean.

Peace.

Bruce Reyes-Chow according to Facebook

2009-09-13T20:48:40-07:00

A ways back on The God Complex radio show, Carol Howard Merritt and I interviewed Eric Elnes of the Phoenix Affirmations. Never one to miss and chance to "liberate" a good idea, Eric introduced himself using only Facebook Quizzes. So, with a few moments free this weekend, I went ahead and took 10 quizzes to help me get to know . . . well . . . me ;-)

Below are the 10 quizzes that I too along with the link to the original FB postings with my comments and others' witty repartee ;-) Feel free to leave some more if you so choose.

Which mighty woman of the Bible are you most like?
Ruth [FB Commentary]
Which Monty Python and the Holy Grail character are you?
King Aurthur [FB Commentary]
Which Beatles song are You?
I Wanna Hold Your Hand [FB Commentary]
Which US state do you belong in?
South Dakota [FB Commentary]
What cereal are you?
Lucky Charms [FB Commentary]
What Lord of the Rings character are you?
Aragorn [FB Commentary]
What 80's song describes you?
Things Can Only get Better [FB Commentary]
What color Crayon are you?
Purple [FB Commentary]
Which Muppet are you?
Janice [FB Commentary]
Which Glee Character are you?
Will [FB Commentary]

That's it for now. You can of course get the TRUE story on my reg Bio Page. And if you have some more quizzes that you think I might want to try, feel free to let me know. We all need some brain candy time, right?

Watch "The Nines" Here

2009-09-08T16:55:47-07:00

Thanks for tuning into The nines here at the blog of Bruce Reyes-Chow*. To participate in the livetweeting, be sure to follow and hashtag #thenines to join in. I plan on live tweeting most of the day so feel free to follow me, @breyeschow. Also, if you are watching here, please feel free to leave your twitter handle as a comment so we can keep the conversations going post The nines.

#thenines

*I do not receive any monetary compensation for hosting this webcast, just a little visibility, a few more twitter followers and a chance to be a place for some conversation. Of course, a VOTE for THE GOD COMPLEX wouldn't be turned down!

Pastor, when you leave will we still be "friends?"

2009-08-29T07:30:13-07:00

[image: theamarand]

Thinking back to when I left the first church that I served, one of the most difficult aspects of that transition was helping folks come to an understanding of our past and future relationships. Those sad and complex "But I thought you were my 'friend' and not just my pastor." conversations that were so difficult, were made easier by the reality that my physical absence would ease the transitions. And even though I stayed in the same city, it was fairly easy to distance myself, because for all intents and purposes, I was out of sight and thus out of mind.

Oh the days when cutting off relationships was so simple ;-)

This new fangled Social Networking craziness has changed the very meaning and experience of what it means to be "friends" forever. This insane Myfacing, Spacebooking and the Twidiot invasion have messed up what used to be such a clear part of pastoral transitions handled with a simple "Good-bye."

So now what do we do?

Do we do a blanket purging or "defriending" on Facebook after the final "Go in Peace" is said and last sip of of red dye #5 punch is downed during coffee hour?
Do we just move forward like nothing about the pastoral relationship has changed, commenting, taking quizzes and inviting each other to this and that?
Do we find creative solutions to this complex problems?
Do we run away, waving our hands in the air to find the first twittering pastor and scream at the top of our lungs while pointing, "See I told you this would destroy all that was good and right about the ministry. Be gone with you evil tweeter, be gone!"

And while #4 would certainly be entertaining to watch and twitter about, I am going to have to go with answer #3. Shocking, I know ;-)

As we know, just as there are many ways that we each individually participate in the pastoral aspects of Social Networking, there will, I am guessing be just as many ideas about how to navigate post-pastoral relationships. Below is a question that I have received more than once in various venues. Let's give it a try.

I would be interested in getting your thoughts on how social networking media presents an issue for the separation ethics that most presbyteries have put in place to help pastors and churches navigate the cleave. I sit on my presbytery's Committee on Ministry* and while it isn't a problem that we've run into yet, it is one that I can see coming down the pipe as more and more pastors are using Facebook to coordinate ministry, share sermons, check up on members, etc. When technology makes it even easier for members to hold on to the pastor who moved away, what advise and expectations do we give to make sure that the next pastor has a chance to thrive? As a pastor who uses this kind of media in your ministry and as our blogger-in-chief, I thought you might have some thoughts on how to navigate the minefield that we're walking into.
* For you non-Presbyterians, the Committee on Ministry is a committee of elders and pastors that oversees Pastoral positions in a particular geographic area.

So what do you think? What can we offer in the form of more questions, examples, etc. to help us collectively come up with some approaches to this situation that is sure to become only more prevalent in the future?

Bring it.

Simulcasting "The Nines" FREE online church leadership conference on 09.09.09

2009-08-27T20:26:21-07:00

Block out the day
turn up your speakers and
sharpen those twittering skilz because:

In less than two weeks, THE NINES free online leadership event will be simulcasted and live-twittered via the magic of the interwebs right here at www.reyes-chow.com*.

THE NINES
DATE:09/09/09
TIME: 9:09 CDT
LOCATION: Right here!
[Event and Registration 411]

A few weeks ago, one of my first online originated friends I can remember making, DJ Chuang, in his role with the Leadership Network invited yours truly to be one of the "chosen" web simulcast sites for The Nines. Duly making be feel special - sly dog - I have agreed to be a simulcast site for this webcasted event that should easily reach over 5,000 registrants across a variety of theological and denominational realities.

"The Nines" is basically a day of nine-minute video presentation from a variety church leaders. As I scanned the list, many are folks we all have are least heard of and many that are brand new to me. I am sure some will critique the list, but this format will allow folks to listen and interact in response to what folks are saying.

And did you miss that this is FREE?!?!?

I am particularity looking forward to this event because of the live twittering that will be taking place and the nature of a "gathering" that has the potential to cross some lines of interaction that might be more difficult in other venues.

My hope is that we will all find ideas that inspire, compel and challenge us to think about our own leadership postures. I am also pretty sure we will each hear something that we just don't agree with or want to more fully flesh. The live twittering will give people of faith across theological and denomination bounds a place to interact that I hope will expand and refine our broader understanding of church leadership.

The event should last about 9 hours, but of course you can come in and out of the discussions. I plan to be live twittering [@breyeschow] using #thenines for most of the time, so I am looking forward to seeing some of you there!

Technical details are still being worked out, but go ahead and register now and I'll see you here on nine-nine-oh-nine for The Nines!

* In the spirit of collaboration, here are other known simulcast sites with a few more to be added by the date of the event.

Finding my inner Balikbayan

2009-08-26T02:54:47-07:00

balikbayan: to return home to one's town or nation; to go home.

I write this post from while sitting in my temporary "office" with the view to the left. No, I didn't up and leave San Francisco for the islands. I am in Dumaguete, Philippines to preach at the National Church Worker's Convocation that is help in conjunction with Founders' Weekend at Silliman University.

Tough life ;-)

This is my second time to the Philippines, both of which happened this year, this past February [pics] and now this summer [pics]. Both came about because of my role as Moderator of the Presbyterian Church (USA) and were centered on deepening relationships between the PC(USA) and the United Church of Christ in the Philippines. But both trips have also been so much more for me personally. At the risk of sounding trite, both times I have come here, there has been a deep and inexplicable feeling that this is home. Both visits there have been moments where the holy have spoken and reminded me of who I am and who has come before. Yeah, yeah, yeah another American-born trying to find his roots romanticizes the experience of returning to the homeland of his foreparents. In the words of JT, "Cry me a river."

But alas, I am guilty as charged because it's simply true. I have felt my inner balikbayan and I shall never be the same ;-)

If you have had the same experience you know what I mean. While there are plenty of reminders of one's United States of AmericaNESS, there are also plenty of reminders that there is a connection that runs deeply through one's cultural and familial DNA. Be it just FEELING right or be it tangible like food, speech cadence, family structures, etc., I have found myself laughing on multiple occasion because it is so clear that I was raised with/by some seriously Filipino folks*. Now, of course, I knew this already, but coming here to feel the land, see the landscape and sit in the culture makes it all that much more real.

I suppose the dig of those of us who feel this way is that we don't really do anything meaningful with it. We travel back to the "homeland," get all culturally excited and then return to our home context failing to live out of that gratitude and awareness. I remember in college thinking the same thing about those who were in my Asian American studies classes. I would judge those who were taking Asian American studies classes, would get all hyped up about Asian American issues but would then go right back to living life as if our actions didn't matter. Folks treated the experience like nothing more than an "intellectual vacation" through Asian American culture that sure was fun while it lasted, but there was not way it would create long-term commitment.

I certainly hope that this will not be the case with me. It is my hope and intent that these visits, have begun a long-term relationship between my family and the Philippines. While I have a textbook knowledge and a subtle understanding of this place, it's my deepest yearning to find meaningful ways to wrestle with the complexities that are Filipino politics, culture and history. It's also my hope to leverage any energies and influence I have in the United States to build movements of positive change. Be it helping with groups to visit, raising public visibility and/or slowly learning the language, I am hoping to pass up short term personal burnout instead claiming a passionate deliberation that plays a part in long-term positive change.

One can and should dream.

I suppose if I look back five years from now and these visits turn out to be nothing more than drive-by interactions driven a part of me that doesn't want to be a "coconut," naysayers should feel free to point here and say, "I told you so."

And while there have been and certainly will be "I told you so" moments in my life, this shall not be one of them. But only time will tell.

So I guess I would also love to hear about your "going home" yearning and experiences. I know I am not the only one.

Do tell.

* This note is not about denying my Chinese (Chow) side, but the reality is that I was raised more by my mom and Filipino family. I still bring some Chinese with me too, don't worry ;-)

The Balikbayan in us all

2009-08-25T17:00:00-07:00

Tough life ;-)

But alas, I am guilty as charged because it's simply true. I have felt my inner "balaibayan" that part of my soul that has returned home.

One can and should dream.

And while there have been and certainly will be "I told you so" moments,this shall not be one of them. But only time will tell.

So I guess i would also love to hear about your "going home" yearning and experiences. i know i am not the only one.

Do tell.

* This note is not about denying my Chinese (Chow) side, but the reality is that I was raised more by my mom and Filipino family. I still bring some Chinese with me too, don't worry ;-)