Randoom Blog!

Why programming?

2019-04-30T00:41:00.001-07:00

Shows in a lineup are referred to as "programming".

Brainwashing people to behave a certain way is also called "programming"

A 'program' on a popular streaming service has been pointed to as having an effect on teens.

This show, "13 reasons why" has been looked at because teen suicides spiked after the airing of the show.

This concerns hardly anyone but maybe the reporters and this blogger. I don't like to hear of anyone causing harm because I think they're all me. Everyone is me, and everyone is also not me. This is what keeps me holding compassion on this island of selfishness.

What can help?

Maybe some homegrown 'programming' that focuses on compassion and fuzzy human interest stories. Something like Black Mirror, but without the horror angle. Sci-Fi fuzziness might take off.

If it saves one life, it's worth it.

The 420 Effect

2019-04-24T10:53:00.000-07:00

I finally have an indicator of my demographic, and I am so happy to see that everyone had a very good holiday.

The day was filled with adventure for me, as I reside in an area that scoffs at coughs. We looked up the designations of locations that matched the theme of the day and gave them a hazy visit. My company consisted of a couple with their two doggies. The pooches provided great cover and distraction, but were also liabilities in some of the more dangerous areas we had to visit.

All in all, the pleasure is all mine. Sorry to be so stingy.

In the eye of the BEE holder

2019-04-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

Art. It's subjective. But just like popular opinion, those pieces that appeal to more people seem to have more value to society.

Last month some "millenials in hoodies" bought a simpson-themed art piece for an ungodly amount of money.

The art mimics Groenig's style and characters perfectly, deleting the eyes and replacing them with an "X".

I'm not up to date on my current artists, so I couldn't say how many of this artist's contemporaries also use this cheap method of recognition to attach automatic emotional connection to their pieces from the general public using pop culture images.

Some people try to bring up Warhol and that movement, but I am deterred from his work by the system that propelled only him to master status. He was and is nothing special in my view.

As much trash I talk, I will most likely continue working on the pop-culture themed sculpture that I've been designing. It's funny because people already laugh at the character.

Money over morals? Art is everywhere? Meaning can be gleaned from a dust buddy?

Ah, it matters not. We're all dying. Let's do it in style!

Sweet Yin, Spicy Yang

2019-04-18T00:40:00.000-07:00

There's no great art without great suffering, so I gravitate toward as much pain as possible.

Smiling only feels better after a good cry.

This exchange of loneliness and rejection in order to feel future joy seems so very daunting.

I exchange each tear of despair, heartache, and sorrow for those of gratitude.
I want to feel, so the range has to be set.

No more snakes,
No more alligators,
No more tornadoes,
Never fear again.

Spent decades in the yin, now let's get ready for the era of yang.That

Disassociate

2019-04-12T15:18:00.000-07:00

She was fractured. Into two.

One passive, the other aggressive. Each one pulling power moves or sneaky actions to be the one to claim "control".

Both personalities were adversarial, until they got broken up by the third presence. Not an expressed personality, but a super-repressed id.

This id whips both entities into staying separate by making her re-live her horrible past abuses. This created memory mixed with her imagination is what divides her.

She's been victim to it so long that now she has embraced her fractured self.

Who can blame her?

We can only think of others through our own frame of mind. Even if we claim to be able to change our mentality to closely 'resemble' other's, it is just a resemblance based on a perception. We can take their words and experiences and try to get as mirror-like as possible, but we can ultimately have no idea what it's like to be in someone else's head.

The pained sometimes inflict it out of reflex.

This, too, must be forgiven. Victims of terrible abuse can become so entrenched in their own suffering, that it is very easy for them to spread the suffering to their most inner circles.

So to the disassociatives, I sympathize, empathize, and wink with my eyes at you. Your heart and soul are going to be one again.

We are the rock that lands in the middle of the lake.

2019-03-27T06:53:00.000-07:00

Ripples.

Troughs and crests of the liquid press against each other in an exquisitely beautiful chain reaction. .

Life rises and falls with gains and setbacks, harrowing wins and sorrowful losses.

We signed up for it all. Most of us have been doing it over and over again for quite some time. A good number of participants are addicted to the suffering part, the dip in the ripple. It pushes toward the shore, lifting up the crest in proportion to it's energy.

The harsher the suffering, the bigger the joy payout. These are the highs those thrill-seekers work lifetimes to achieve.

One of the alternatives to this is to keep an even keel at all times. Never getting upset, but also not ever being giddy. Stoicism is the epitomy of emotional control. Seems such a waste to me to be inhabiting a human body/soul/spirit and not ever utilize strong emotion. It's like buying a monster truck to drive 5mph to the church down the street every Sunday morning.

I'm going through some metamorphosis again. Sometimes life changes and I have to adapt, other times it seems like the opposite happens. Both are occurring currently, making this an interesting time.

I've suffered, some may say not enough. I have some pretty positive 'highs', so I think I'm doing alright. It's still one of my life goals to cry tears of joy every morning while waking. I've only genuinely done this twice, and it's blissful.

Thanks for sticking here, keeping check on those emotions we try to control enough to have a fun experience here in this wild VR game we call 'life'!

Time to fold dimensions to save it all.

2019-03-20T02:39:00.000-07:00

Math is complicated.
It's never come easy to me,
I've failed before I prevailed.

But regardless of my spite of numerals,
an intrinsic logic comes through in the form of intuition.
I can grasp concepts that I cannot explain with data.

Each number has it's own emotional expression.

Numbers that harmonize move a unit towards integration to the point of non-existence.

So, since we all go away in one way or another after all, why don't we just set a few things straight:

Every letter of every language can be expressed numerically in almost infinite ways.
Feelings can be quantified, whims estimated, and cravings assigned numbers
Once everything is based on numbers, the unified system approach brings forth Phi
Phi ratio includes every possible number combination, which is ALL of existence, and alts
Rules can be made up on the fly. Success relies on ability to stick to the chosen rule-set.
From these truths, a person can manifest experiences, materials, food, and mindsets.

This is one of the keys to laws of attraction and manifestation. When someone wishing for something imagines the light that bounces off the goal, they are emanating the frequencies that harmonize with that object, experience, or person.

So, although I'm atrocious at calculations, my brain can give me a break by letting go of the 'how' and focusing on the 'why' and 'what happens' of these theories.

Incel in a cell selling out

2019-03-03T12:18:00.001-08:00

The word itself sounds wrong: "Incel". Involuntary celibacy.

I blink many times a day, this is involuntary.
I also do not have sex many times a day, but this is no reflexive action required by my body.

I'd like to rename it to a longer and more to-the-point moniker. "Forced Celibacy".

That's more like it. When those words hit the ear, an image of someone holding a gun to another person's chastity belt comes to mind. This is an image that closely resembles the actual feeling of being an 'incel' than the original name implies.

How are we forced to not have sex?

Firstly, we have our genitals mutilated at birth by a religious practice. The religion is not even what our mothers and fathers follow. The lack of sensation to the missing area and resulting scar tissue end up lowering the libido by decreasing sensitivity to fractional levels.

Secondly, no allowances for sexual discovery are given while growing up. Each nuclear unit makes up its own methods to pass along information, relay any sexual wisdom, and allow for privacy enough to facilitate experimentation. Most families do not employ any of the above methods and leaves the human lacking in all areas sensual. Confusion and uncertainty about sexual identity turns shyness into complete awkwardness when confronted with the idea of sex.

Thirdly, we are a world that follows religious laws that uphold monogamous relationships. Even though the lowest number of people are attending church, more marriages are happening. The laws of each town, city, state, and nation all legally recognize the bond between only TWO people, and nothing more. This places a single union with fidelity at the highest rung. To attain a healthy relationship, everyone must strive to be monogamous and faithful in order to have sex and keep having sex after marriage.

Fourthly, the importance of material goods and mere survival by expending energy for others profit is seen as 'responsible' and is looked at as one of the best virtues.

"I'll not even look at a man if he doesn't have a job", this one waitress says to me.
She plays the structured game exactly as it's been set up. Those that don't give their time to the good 'ol corporation don't get any pudding pie.

Fifth on the list is assholes. No, not the rectum, but the wreck of human scum that is the bad guy. They say "Good guys always finish last".

The man who first made that quote up got laid on the spot.

but seriously, this mindset delves deep within the psyche of the current generation. Before, men were built to be assholes for good reason, they had to help their family survive in a land of assholes. There were no good men associating with them.
As time went along, they had to mix. This is where the saying came from. The good guys didn't even flinch because they were fine finishing last and knew their scenery was better.

Until women started to become programmed to hate themselves. Self-esteem issues plague more girls than ever before. This is due to saturation of denigrated and degraded women in social media.

Those that rely only on others for their oxytocin-9 shots are sadly mistaken when left alone. They feel as if they deserve harsh treatment and exposure to rude behavior. Good guys can't provide that, but they do make for good heart-break material if someone were to have a darker heart.

The last man I witnessed with his pants below his hips while cradling his manhood outside of his underwear in public stated that he did so to show women how quick he'd be if they were to get 'froggy'. In many areas, this would seem to be a social faux-pa, but in the urban areas, there exist females that absolutely love to see their mate do this. Good guys don't grabba their junk.

I propose booths on every corner. These booths are for consensual free sex between adults. A variety of safety gear and prophylactics can be 3d printed from the interior.

Think port-o-john, except the john part has a jane with it.

The ultimate no-strings-attached biological satisfaction center.
Not robots, but human visitors that are available through a tube-like tunnel system that
hooks people up at no charge. We came with dollar slots or coin changers, so we aren't meant to pay for what nature gave to us freely.

If no partner is available, a variety of self-help tools would be provided to quell the most impatient of incels.

They would have to look at art that adorned the satisfaction center walls.
It might look a little like this.

2019-02-20T16:58:00.000-08:00

Poetry of post-crisis self therapy

There was the one time

Sex, or the lack of

was used as a weapon against me

I buckled initially,

lashing out with violent shouts.

I calmed enough to sit back on the couch in a daze,

while the fabricated lovers went to do the deed

in the other room.

After the initial shock wore down,

I took a look at a lonely notebook

with just one page used.

I ripped that message from the book

and started at the beginning of the issue

of my forlorn love.

Within the next six hours,

I filled that notebook

with my own counseling

for my own problem

solving it before I saw the ‘Lovers’ emerged

from their fateful slumber chambers.

I asked them with a genuinely positive tone

“Well, how was it?”

2018-02-18T17:48:00.000-08:00

D'update

I've been watching TV shows again.

I'm enthralled with comedies. These distractions of laughter are sometimes what I think I need at the time. They feel good.

On the scholastic front, my nose is still inside the book. Not too far in to where I can't focus on the words, though. There's a danger in that.

I'm picking up projects, dropping others, and putting some on hold for now.

The best thing about my newest project is that I can use the experience to help the homeless. Yay! Let's destigmatize this group!

Another project I have utilizes my graphical prowress. I know I don't have many good examples here, but maybe I'll share some soon.

Writing is now back in vogue. I have neglected my own creative spirit by only writing for sholastic reasons, but now other realms are opening to me.

All this time, and I still defy life by being single. Not just a bachelor, but a loner. I have a social life, but not one that involves anything

akin to a relationship. Those don't come my way often, but I'm glad to say that I trust that they will continue.

I'm writing a poem currently, here's the plot:

Hungry Traveler walking down a path
notices a beetle crossing ahead of him
Traveler stops, so does beetle.
Traveler entices the beetle to cross by drawing a line in the path with a stick.
Beetle crosses the path and leads traveller to money.
Traveler heads back the way he came.
Traveler returns to beetle and lays before him a meal that costs all of the funds.
Traveler walks away.

Here's a shiny desktop wallpaper I made recently:

The shape I see when I think of the world/universe

ThoughtGuns

2016-04-20T20:33:00.001-07:00

Wham!

I'm trapped. I have no weapons and no way out. They're right on the other side of this wall, looking for me. They've got guns, and a confidence that smells the opposite of fear.

Slam!

Why couldn't I have just gone to the movies with Brent to see Spy Guy 5? But I just had to
call Jessica to get a piece before high-tailing it to Canada. She required a high I couldn't get her, so she had me escort her to her friend Gino's. Fine, except Gino had me check my weapons at the door, plus he was my nemesis Elias' confidant.

Smash!

Before I knew it, Jessica just left without saying goodbye. Gino's goons were all about getting at me, but I ran and shut myself in Gino's stinky bathroom.

Crunch!

Oh god! Why doesn't this cromagnon flush his leavings? Now that I looked at it, I can smell it. It's the only thing I smell now. I'm going to puke.

Pop!

I have no way of getting out of this if I'm hurling. I'll use the trick Spy Guy uses in the third movie where he used cotton balls in his nostrils to not smell the knockout gas.

Crack!

They're almost through the door, what am I supposed to do? I've played Spy Guy the video game so much that I shouldn't be lacking a weapon. But all I do to react to this life threatening moment is to make my hands into a pretend gun and think positive thoughts like "maybe these guys will drop their guns, slap five, turn around and take Gino to the movies"

Slam!

They're through the door. I pop off two rounds with my hand gun, shooting them both with the power of my positive thoughts

They immediately release their weapons, smile at each other, high five, then turn and go about grabbing Gino up from the couch while talking excitedly about the newest Hello Doggie flick.

I look at my hands in disbelief as I hear distanced cussing as the thugs do my bidding.

Third post this year = Active

2015-12-28T21:55:00.001-08:00

Hi Again!

It's true that I've been absent often lately, but that is in no way due to my lack of love for this medium. I still love writing, and it's with this joy that I jot t his down for you.

In the near future, I will teach a person about blogging and content creation. This will be the first post she sees that I have written, so it should have at least some substance to it. Now to the meat of what I've been up to.

Higher education also means higher methods of deception. I'm pretty bitter for the ropes and hoops I've been led through, but I am grateful to obtain a piece of paper next spring.

Greedy administrators do not outweigh great teachers. This is one of the ways that they are allowed by the student body to continue their traditions of lies, greed, and manipulation. My professors are as powerless as I am in ridding this system of it's evils, so they just do their jobs as well as they can. They are people who truly care about and for students. A great prof is worth over a hundred shitty administrators. They know this and stick to this ratio, more or less.

End of term implosions happen. I tend to be a bad student near the end and a great student at the outset. My motivation for a brighter future isn't waning. I want success and stumble when I contact any resistance with the system that's supposed to be designed to support me.

But I'm graduating, so what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right?

Speaking of strength, I had an opportunity to participate in something that built my muscles up that I also found very fun. Stand-up Paddleboarding. Sup, for short, it is a water activity using a longboard and a paddle. Just balancing on the board works most of the muscles in the body. Stamina and endurance comes to those who really work through the water with the paddle. And rest times are supremely serene with slow floating scenes setting a very relaxed pace.

I'm not sure what kind of milestone this is, but I'm working on my tenth year of not driving. It has been very hard to adjust at times, but I am so glad to not have to own or drive a vehicle.

I'm still unmarried. That does make me happy! I'm in no way a player or typical bachelor, so my reasoning isn't what you hear from those types. It's mostly that I want to make sure that I fully love myself before I open up to "the one". I may never be ready, but that's OK.

I've yet to realise my ulimate perception of success. I will know that I have if I wake up each day crying tears of joy. Here's to those days!

Is that Cupid hooked up to a transfusion machine?

2015-09-12T17:41:00.001-07:00

Hello folks! I'm still here and gone at the same time, just like all of our favorite mythical creatures.

Speaking of mythical creatures, I've placed Cupid's name in the title because he is the closest to a god-baby there is.

Why a god-baby? Youth and vitality. These are two of the things that those that seek the proverbial 'fountain of youth' are looking for.

Who are these proponents of reversing the aging process? Mainly the rich and famous. They've surely had meetings that I've not neen invited to. I don't blame them, I'm poor and nearly anonymous.

Here's an imagines excerpt of one of those meetings;

Celebrity #1: You're telling me that you now have a new illegal procedure that can reverse my age, but you're telling me that I can't take part in it?

Rich Doctor #1: Exactly, although we know you'd benefit most from being transfused with the blood of ten infants, you are way too visible on the TV screen. People would see you literally younger and know that plastic surgery is nowhere near doing that for you. You've got to keep your baldness and wrinkles so the public can't tell this is happening.

Celebrity #1: Well then, I'll just expose you and your evil doings, then nobody gets the treatment.

A gun is then pointed towards Celeb #1

Rich Doctor #1: We're very sorry you feel this way, but if you can be persuaded to reconsider your position and help us screen this from public knowledge, we will do our best at giving you almost anything else that you wish. What do you wish for?

The aged celebrity's facial featurrs change from scared and worried to happy and elated. He motions the Dr.'s aide over and salivates before whispering his evil desires into the aide's ear.

The aide then whispers into the doctor's ear the request.

Rich Doctor#1: It seems we can accommodate you. Victor, see to it that this man's needs are met.

Celebrity #1 is escorted from the boardroom with a smile on his wrinkled face and an extra bit of pep in his step.

Rich Doctor#1: Anyone else have questions?

Celebrity#2 raises his hand, and is called upon to make his query.

Celebrity#2: I'm just as visible and old as Celebrity #1, why aren't you telling me to kick rocks?

Rich Doctor#2: We feel that your people age differently than us. Enough so that we can explain away your sudden glow. Plus, your reach in getting us more clientele is great. You scratch our back, we take away your bursitis with baby's blood.

Celeb#2: Yup, I'm down with that. I'll get you all tons of peeps to hook up to those miracle babies.

Doctor#2: The true miracle is all those mothers and fathers that give us their babies.

Everybody laughs and creates lines that will be erased on their next transfusion.

Phunny Singularites

2015-07-03T18:49:00.001-07:00

So, now anyone can get married to whatever they wish. That does not excite me because I have not planned on taking up that ball and chain.

I've been planning a party for myself using my never-been-married status as the reason for celebration. Many people need excuses to have a great time, but I live everyday with the little things that make a huge impact.

I may fail at a lot if things, but one thing that I don't make any mistakes in my love for myself and the whole of humanity.

I hope this makes sense.

There's always more room for dessert

2015-03-07T12:38:00.001-08:00

Heyas! School is stressful, but rewarding. I said that I'd never do some things, but somehow I've done them. One of those nevers is owning a smartphone. They are supposed to make your life easier somehow, but I just got so tired of seeing downcast eyes instead of being met with genuine human eye contact. .Updated blogs and the ability to continue my long term goals.

So I'm here until I'm gone again. Until next time, keep on living the life you were meant to live.

Here are a couple of curious sculptures for pondering and contemplation.

I love confident women who smile so bright.

Pre-history also had thunder cats.

We jest about the serious

2014-10-29T00:14:00.001-07:00

I came up to a buddy and started going in for the handshake, then collapsed into a fist for a bump, then folded the elbow and stuck it out. It stuck and I'll be ebola free, just my friends and me!

Another Japanese Short Film Review

2014-09-28T14:17:00.000-07:00

Kafkaesque

Runtime: 5:49
Link: Kafkaesque

Labeled Kafka on the Vimeo site, I decided to screen this little gem. Kafka was a German author that wrote about strange things and strange relationships. I'd say that if he were around today, or five years ago when this movie was made, he'd approve.

It's about two men who are in a situation of executioner and prisoner. The final meal the prisoner was given was so sorry that he asks for a little chat.

Begging for a little chat before death

The executioner owes the man that much, since the fare was so unfair.

Not a sneeze about to occur, but a hesitation in pre-death chatting

During the flashbacks, the prisoner is replaced with the executioner, showing that he places himself into all stories told to him.

Seems both men use umbrellas for sunshades

Even the food given to the prisoner by his wife is eaten by the imagined executioner.

One final meal before the death of an unloved one

Explanations of wrongful conviction start bringing the men closer together.

I enjoy close-ups like this one

The use of imagery and solid color evoke feelings for both men.

Even better than close ups that cut portions off is time-lapse clouds

The action described in this portion of flashback aren't portrayed, but overlaid with images.

Nothing beats red grass

Time for chatting is done and both men look at the tool of death in anticipation.

Time for the noose to get a use

Credits roll 3/4 of the way through. After these, another glimpse of the prisoners last day of freedom is seen through the imagination of the executioner.

The technique of color here denotes suspicion

Seems the innocence of the accused was also very imaginary.

Practicing accidental murder

The movie ends with a surprise ending. I couldn't spoil everything for you! Until next time, stay.

From a Pedestrian's Perspective

2014-08-15T04:16:00.000-07:00

Hello again, internet earthlings. It sure has been a while since I've put anything permanent down here for your loyal eyes to see. That's OK, though, because just as great friends can still get along famously after a long absence, I know that you won't hold my business this summer against me and my un-updated blog.

I was prompted to write this post after two major current events. The first is the awful happenings in Ferguson, MO. The second is the very tragic death of a race car driver. They seem unrelated, save for that both tragedies occurred around the same time. I am here to tell you that they both started with the same decision I make plenty of times each day. The decision to be safe and survive.

I am a pedestrian. I have been for around eight years now since a car wreck left me without transportation. There was a very bad taste in my mouth after that collision with a girl on a cellphone who just didn't pay attention to the red-light that she sped through to cause my journey of walking everywhere. Although I did get a modest amount of money from my vehicle being totaled, I felt that I did not wish to re-enter that risky life lottery of speeding metal and fiberglass. So, I had decided to boycott vehicles and figure out how to get everywhere on foot. This isn't to say that I didn't accept rides from time to time, but I did do a lot more travelling by walking than I ever had before in my life.

So I started getting my 'sidewalk-legs', as I call them, back underneath myself. After driving for most of my life I had forgotten plenty of things about the most simple mode of travel. Things that I should have remembered that were integral to surviving when going from point A to point B without assistance of machinery.

The first point I came across was one that I misunderstood. It was taught to me in my first Driver's Education class and is a myth. A life-threatening fallacy:

Pedestrians ALWAYS have the right of way

The walking only have the right of way if they are in a crosswalk, and only if the walk sign is lit (if the crossing has a light). Plenty of people have been run over while jaywalking, which is a term for crossing where there are no crosswalks or against a light. Those people, or their surviving families do not get to sue for damages due to their own neglect of laws designed for their safety. Streets were built for vehicles, and they are the ones that get the most right of way.

In the case of the two teens that started this whole thing in Missouri, they were spotted by an officer of the law walking in the street. Not crossing the street, but walking parallel to the curb. This is not only very unsafe, but against the law. A law designed to protect people, both in cars and on foot.

I'm not sure why they decided to ignore the officer's command to move over to the sidewalk, but they continued to stay in the street after being told to take the safer route on the sidewalk. I can speculate on why disobedience was at the heart of their decision. This is the internet, so speculation on motive is my prerogative, and one of the reasons I wrote this post in the first place.

A sense of entitlement and flaunting defiance of the law in opposition to personal safety is my opinion of the main reasons why they eschewed the sidewalk for the street. The second is social acceptance. If those boys were to follow what the officer was saying, they would be looked at in a different light by all those around them. That shame and the possibility of being shunned by their peers was greater than the chance of getting clipped by someone's SUV and ending up in a coffin that day. They had probably walked in the street for thousands of times before that day, and they weren't changing that for 'the man'.

If only they would have complied with the safety command, Mike Brown would still be alive today. But instead, the defiance and incomprehension of safety shown had drawn an anger from the officer who gave the order and started the events that snowballed into a the latest riots in the midwest.

I am not giving the officer who shot the young man dead any excuse for doing so. But I'm also not giving those two males an excuse for walking in the street in the first place. One of the first lessons of being a pedestrian was taught to me by my father when I was only five years old. As we stood on the corner of the yard he said, "Son, always look all ways before and during crossing the street". This is a safer deviation from the more common 'Look both ways before crossing the street". Safety was a primary concern for my father. He wanted me to survive long enough to make him proud. He did a pretty good job at getting me to be safe on the street, so I'm still here to try to make him proud.

Those two defiant males may have not had such a caring father. I understand that. Lack of great parenting seems to be the main reason that there is a huge lack of respect for safety on the road. Lots of people have lacked the guidance I was tenderly given as a youngster, and I truly wish everyone was as fortunate as me. But, I've known orphans who figured stuff out on their own. They had a sense survival and common courtesy, even if they weren't instilled into them by a caring parent. I think since they lived in an area that did not see respect for others as a weakness, they had no problem following safety and the law.

Now for the race-car driver situation. It was a total tragedy for Kevin Ward Junior, his family, and anyone who follows racing. The amount of regulations and rules designed to keep the drivers safe are astounding. Way more than my dad's one line of survival to me, these drivers have a veritable laundry list of things to do and follow to keep their lives in tact to race again another day. One of these is staying in the vehicle after a wreck. After the yellow flag is flown, there's a bit of time to wait before the driver is to be extracted. That is to say that the driver should wait for assistance before exiting the vehicle. It is very sad that the sport has been sensationalized to the point where it looks enticing to flaunt safety to exact revenge for a personal grudge against a fellow racer.

If only he would have followed the racing rules, he would most likely still be alive to race again. Tragedy was not averted, so we all have to deal with the outcome of this young man losing his life by being in traffic when he shouldn't have been. Such a sad way to go, for sure.

So, if you ever find yourself without wheels, please follow the advice of my father as well as the rule of the law. It is designed to keep everyone out of danger.

Thank you so much for taking the time to take in my viewpoint on these awful situations. Have a great day and remember to look all ways before and during a street crossing at the walk with the light.

Shockgrubz

So, you want to teleport, do you?

2014-06-08T00:23:00.000-07:00

I also would enjoy the instantaneous travel amenities that teleportation would have. Imagine paying a little more for your belly to be full with yummy veggie candy before you port to your destination?

Or how about having everyone on a contest set the hair growing function to max, and you all show up very covered in hair to guess who each other are. Winner get's to have a shear and shave first.

Just some of the randoom thoughts going through my head about now. They always happen, never really stopping. I'm certainly not down about that, even if it does cause quite a few difficulties in the 'normal' world. Not here, no. This is a place that I can just let my randoomness exploid into wonderfully insane happiness for everyone on the internet to either find and smile or pass by unaware.

I made a logo for myself today. It really didn't take much time, so I'm thinking that means I might need to spend a little more on it to give it some extras. Here's the first version.

The first thoughts I have are Seventies(as in that time period that was groovy enough to produce Feline Stevens) and Gumby, also from that era.

Might be considered a bit funkadelic, but I'm ready to roll with it, anyway.

On the real life front, I am gaining ground as a mentor while slipping as a breadwinner. My sage-like advice has been taken by a light-seeing friend and his payoffs are astounding.

Been working a few odd jobs. One for this homo(now just wait aminute, I'm all for the gay peeps, homo is just short for Home Owner), who won big on a betting tip from me. Being the millionaire and rich person that he is, he shared none of his winnings. Fair enough, I say, because I chose not to spend my last fifty bucks on a longshot.

Girlfriends are nice, but they are even nicer if you don't see them very often. That's how I feel right now, or at least what I tell myself when I'm alone and wish for her company. We have a nice, neat arrangement that doesn't let feelings ruin the fun. It's a strange day, indeed, when I start chucking feelings for a relationship. But it happened. Hopefully it continues for quite some time. My favorite part about it is the double dating. I am mad about double dates! So much so that I kinda want everyone to agree to have them filmed. I don't have the car salesman chops to pull that off, though. I hang out with too many private people for them to agree to something like that. Oh well, I can always have my way in my fantasies.

So thanks for stopping by, having a little look at my new logo and learning just a bit more about me. I'm happy to have you here. Keep kicking gluteus shaped things!

Life and Photography: Death of a Devoted Dame and a Dual Critique

2014-05-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

Hookay, I'm back and just in time for the end of spring( which feels more like late fall or early winter to me), and I've some news from life and such with some learning thrown in the bag.

School is hool. I'm not what kind of word hool is, but if it's created sometime in the near or distant future, it will be exactly what school is to me right now.

I received my first bad grades this semester. When I had come to terms with the subjective failures( two weeks before grades were posted), I thought of how I could improve. Going from Dean's list to D-list was something I can't afford to focus on. "Just pinpoint the mistakes and think of how to overcome them next time.", I told myself.

This year has already been very rough. The woman that raised me passed away after v-day. It was all too quick. One day she's fine, the next in the hospital. After a week, she gives up the angel. I did not get to be at her bedside to see her last physical moments, but I was able to speak to her on the phone when she was refusing everybody's call but mine. That in itself was her way of saying that she felt I was special to her. I was still in denial of her mortality before, during, and after the short two-minute conversation. We spoke about the last game involving our favorite college team and how proud of them we were. Through her speech, there was a indication of finality. I didn't hear it then, but going back to the last words she ever said to me, I know that she believed in me and cared for me with all of her heart.

"I love you". They sounded like a language that was more than English. It surpassed being an amalgamation of all languages interpreted into one and became the simplest human feeling. I was very blessed to not only know one of the most caring individuals on earth, but have her in my life for guidance, advice, and unconditional love. Hardly anybody gets to be lucky enough to have that kind of love.

Since her passing I have had two would-be fatal experiences. Saved by either inexplicable or too explicable ways, I quickly attribute my physical safety to that angel that helped shape who I am. She always said I had a big heart, and it's time to show her that I can use it.

I spoke with a new friend the other day and an idea came to me. He told me of his friend who had a few serious health issues. The lady has leukemia, and sometimes has to wear a mask in public to keep from inhaling dust or particles that would attack her already weakened immune system. I knew that those patients had to seriously be aware of cuts and scrapes, but I had not factored in the air we breathe.

There is a stigma to wearing any sort of medical device in public. Deep down people perceive weakness, sickness, and their own mortality when they see others around them wearing an apparatus in public. Due to this aversion of thinking about such things, those who are being helped to normalize their life through these devices are shunned and stigmatized by the society they wish to assimilate to.

This is where my idea comes in. A designer respiration mask, worn by the afflicted in public would help shape a change in the perception of the wearers of the mask by the public. Instead of being stark-white with clinical styling, these filtering units would sport different art and graphics on them.

Several different styles and categories come to my mind, animal faces, prints, and textures, are at the forefront. Next would be the famous robot mouths series featuring all the great binary pie-holes from television and movie history. The options go on and on.

Now to the photographs. Since I got what I deem a bad grade in my photo class, I'm doing some off-season learning of my own. This is a comparison of two digital photographs that I took last fall. Both are from the same building and shoot. Both feature peeling paint as the main subject.

No.1

This photograph was taken at a shutter speed of 1/6th of a second with an f-stop of 5.5 and ISO set to 1600. Although the fore and background are blurry, the only in-focus area is shrouded by shadows as well as obfuscated by the sharp lines of the folded paint's edges. This could be due to my precarious position atop a chair to take the photo. If a tripod were used, there'd most likely be more mid-ground in focus. The overall composition seems better than average, however with the orientation as it is we are able to tell this was above a door frame, making it predictable. Usually peeling paint makes for great textures, but with the sections of paint here being so large, these pieces would not lend themselves to repetition easily. The lighting in this one creates good shadow play in the foreground and center, but the background is devoid of any the interesting organic curves. I describe the colors as mismatching. The pale blue and off-white seem to work well together, but mixed with the green and yellow makes the whole piece seem like an undone patchwork. This photo gets a C-.

No. 2

This photograph was taken at a shutter speed of 1/80th of a second with an f-stop of 5.6 and ISO set at 400. The first thing we notice in difference to the first photograph is the orientation. I did rotate this in my program before putting it here, but I took this with portrait orientation instead of landscape. This creates the illusion of a floor or base, instead of showcasing a wall. Floors>walls every time, plus how many times are you going to find peeling paint on floors? Not too many. The second thing we find here in contrast to the first image is that the area of focus is larger than the previous. This is probably due to my holding the camera flush against the wall before pressing the shutter. A steady shot equals less blur and more interest for sure. Even the peeling paint is curling into cones and cylinders which creates a great variety with that ever-needed element of repetition. The specular highlights from the unpeeled paint give this piece a feel of liquidity and newness. For the old to co-exist with the new is to capture a social reality in aging materials. Those peels that sport the highlights in the foreground assist the eye in moving around the photograph. This photo gets a B.

Thanks for sticking around and reading, looking, and commenting. I'll be working on a collaboration this summer, so look forward to seeing some design work.

Have fun and stay on earth,

Shockgrubz

Deadlines and Life!

2014-05-04T18:09:00.003-07:00

Seems I am doing everything I can do not to get my final projects finished. That includes the rare treat of writing you, so it's not as bad as it seems.

I wrote a little bit on Newstuff before this one. I'm taking time out while letting glue and stuff dry to update this space.

I found me a woman. She is very accomplished and loves her some me, so I feel a bit of stress over making sure that I don't end up seeming needy through my starving artistry phase. Although, she and I both came to an immediate agreement that this may be just for now or something else and that no one has possession of anyone else.

The sense of freedom from jealousy has been delightful. I have yet to find someone on the same page with me in that department and with her, she's peachy keen.

School has been going. That is one of the major reasons I don't update this blog much. It feels that much of my time has been ripped away from the computer, but now I'm able to come back and write/create it up for the summer.

There are so many projects due and so many ways I can distract myself from doing them. Let's hope that this editing and such goes very well.

Thanks for allowing my language to massage your retinas for a minute. Much obliged.

SS from a recent project in Blender. Fun Stuff!!

The Femininity of the Interrobang

2014-02-06T10:09:00.001-08:00

When posing a question in an excited way, I like to utilize the interrobang. ‽

It's an amalgamation of male and female shapes. The curves of the question mark tend to remind me of a

subtle curiosity that exists within the female form. The straightness and bold image of the exclamation point

get me to thinking along the male way of thinking, straight and to the point.

When I ask "What is that!?", I'd better allow the femininity of the question mark to overrule the excited state

of the exclamation point if I expect any sort of plausible answer.

To acknowledge that there are two opposed gender views inside of a symbol allows me to view other things

in life with the same gender-sharing qualities. There are so many things that can take on both masculine and

feminine characteristics at the same time. And like the interrobang, it doesn't become clear until the symbol,

or subject is viewed in a zoomed in or blown up fashion. So let's look a little closer and find the femininity in

everything!

Just another thought in an hour I had to spare. Thank you and have a wonderful day!

‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽

sf city hall logged into my facebook? Wild. Please leave an invite to the next Comic-con next time, plx.

Randoom Cryptogram

2014-01-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

Have I ever told you that I adore cryptography? Oh, well I'm telling you now of my love for coded words and the process it takes to decrypt them. I am now going to give you my latest cryptogram.

SCPCI -UIKNA-DTKBB-CLIEM-YKDXK-BBKPC-SKDOX-DUNAB-BMOZC

PUQABB-BEMBH-XUEMS-ADKDM-QJSMK-IAGMS-MDKAU-UKDJM

LCSYK-DNADO

so, I could give you some hints, but I'll wait until someone asks in the comments. I'll edit this to include the hint.

Themes, experience, and hope for the creative future

2014-01-19T12:59:00.000-08:00

This year I've decided to eschew resolutions and embrace a singular theme. This change is due to the many years of not getting much of anything on my list done. A great thing about a theme is that there is no list, just one broad subject.

The theme I've decided to go with for 2014 is "consideration of others". It's pretty broad, so I will have plenty of ways to apply it this year.

One of the first ways is to tell you, my dear readers, that I am reading your comments and looking at your blogs. I cannot, however, comment on my own or your blogs due to some sort of technical snafu with my $20 laptop. I will be upgrading soon, so you will see my words upon your pages sometime before the second quarter.

Consideration of others will also spill into my academic life as well. Being a Graphic Design major, I will have a chance to touch people with the messages and concepts I create through visual advertisements. The amount of creative freedom I've been given will only be as powerful as my keen sense of consideration of others, my audience.

Also, I've started a photo group. I enjoy being unique, and there are about a gazillion photog groups around the world and they are all a bit different, but a lot of them use the same formula. I have found that formula to not work well for me, so I've changed it to account for others that may have the same feelings.

First off, I didn't want to name it with 'walk' in the name. We are all walking when we take photos in a group(unless there is an assignment to sit in one place and just take pics of passers by), so I named it an "experience".

Secondly, I had seen that previous groups had weekly assignments. I'm already chock-full of assignments from my classes and don't want to add to the load. Plus, I know when those not in school hear the word "assignment", it starts to feel like work and procrastination starts to rear it's ugly head. So instead of going the common route of getting people to take pics outside of the "experience", I've consolidated the whole thing into a three hour collaboration effort on the weekend.

I had four signups this first week, but only one showed up. This may be due to my inability to use social media. I want this group to be word of mouth only, as to add to it's exclusivity. So, when my pal and I set out to work on this weeks theme, "uncommon perspective", we got out of our comfort zones and worked on getting shots that we may not have if we were working as normal.

Out of fifty-five shots(I should have taken hundreds), I got about five I liked. Unfortunately, I have to wait for my pc upgrade to show them to you. By that time I hope to have a good amount of prime photographs to show you from a few more "experiences".

There is a revolution in the making. It will cause much hardship to many people who are not in tune with their creative side. Their daily lives and manual labor jobs will be upended by a contingency of automated machines. The growing amount of robots will cause rise to more and more humans embracing the arts. Creativity and imagination are going to be our bread and butter in the coming days. As an artist, this excites me. I hope to help those who may find difficulties in finding the artisan within themselves. I hope to work with great artists to create assessment apps to ferret out their hidden skills.

So, I'm still here and working to create a better tomorrow. I hope to see and hear from you soon.

P.S. Thank you Pat Hatt and Bersercules for commenting on my last post. Your consideration does make a difference.

Randoom Year End Babbling

2013-12-24T11:13:00.003-08:00

So 2013 went by in half of a blink of an eye. Each year seems to go faster and faster. I'm not sure if it's my advancing age or the breakneck speed of technology that has hit the fast-forward button on time, but I'd like it to slow down long enough to accurately get a picture of what's happenned.

The first half must have happenned while I was asleep, because before I knew it August was upon us and I had yet to enroll in school. I had kept telling myself that it was my self-imposed limitations blocking my path to a degree. Like the procrastinator I am, I waited until the last minute to enroll.

School seemed the best thing for me, because soon after I got started, everything seemed to work itself out. I got a place of my own and started excersizing my artistic muscles in ways I had not previously thought possible.

There were some struggles through that first freshman semester, but it was all worth the wear and tear on the 'ol soul. Here are some lessons that I might have learned this time around that may help other freshmen.

1. As much as school needs to be focused upon, there also has to be balance with the social life and home life as well. Take stock every few days to see if there's an area of neglect.

2. Let the heart feel what it wants to feel, but stay in control. Many whims, wishes, and fantasies can envigorate the spirit, but chasing after fleeting feelings can set one up for dissapointment at worst, and devastating distractions at most.

3. Comparing work with peers is alright to do in classes like Composition and Math, but when doing it in the arts, take the expertise of more experienced students as a goal rather than judging their work as superior to your own.

4. Make time. Too many times have I said to myself "I'll procrastinate tomorrow", then did it anyway. Leave procrastination alone and plan, write, and schedule your way to success.

5. Turn down the hormones. A body cannot excersize well on an empty stomach. This is similar to the mind, but the food is love. If you can manage to get some sort of love away from academia, then when you are in front of whiteboards and textbooks, you won't be too distracted when that curvy female gets up to throw her gum wrappers in the trashcan.

6. Have fun. Part of learning is figuring out what you can do to entertain yourself with progression. In this age of too many attention grabbers, the main source of enjoyment for people needs to come from within. That's where real passion lies.

7. Show appreciation. Gratefulness is rarely looked down upon, and if given sincerely to those helping you on your journey, it will be reciprocated in kindness, respect, and sometimes that furry sensation that happens in the cockles of the heart.

8. Imagine. There's no textbook for you. You have to imagine everything. The light we tell ourselves that we see is filtered through our brain before we let ourselves believe we see it. Use goals and success the same way. See it before you believe it.

I'm getting a litte too esoteric, so I'll stop there. I am not the best student, but I did get a decent gpa my first semester and am looking forward to earning my degree.

I hope this season is great for you all. Enjoy every lengthened day.