Port A Potty $20.00 — CASH ONLY
On wheels – – seat lifts off for port a potty use with detachable pot
Could possibly be wheeled over toilet stool – that depends on room around toilet stool

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 11/22/10 8:57 AM
To: sale———–@craigslist.org

Hi there,

This port a potty looks like it would come in handy.  Is it still available?   Let me know.

Thanks,
RP

From: deedee——-@aol.com
Sent: Mon 11/22/10 9:00 AM
To: Randy Penny

Yes it is still available – cash only and we can deliver within 15 mile radius of 72 & ——-

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 11/22/10 9:47 AM
To: deedee——–@aol.com

Great!  I’ve been looking for a port a potty,  especially one on wheels.  You never know when nature will call!  I’ll probably bring it to concerts, movies, conferences, and maybe the occasional prayer group.  Can you briefly describe how it works?  At first glance, it looks as though it’s just a chair and a bucket.  Have you used it before?  How will I dispose of all the fecal matter?  Will you be available to deliver this week?  If you need it for Thanksgiving,  I understand.   Let me know.

Thanks,
RP

From: deedee———@aol.com
Sent: Mon 11/22/10 9:57 AM
To: Randy Penny

This is from an estate sale so I never used it. I don’t think it would be easy to push like one would push a wheelchair. There are no handles on back of chair like a wheel chair has.  It does have wheels but that is for ease of movement of the chair.  It has a cushion seat on it for use of sitting on – like wheel up to a table. The cushion comes off and there is a seat like one finds on a toilet with the bucket below. The bucket has to be manually removed and residual flushed down toilet and the bucket is rinsed out.

I plan to list another one from same estate which is sturdier.  It is built like a wheel chair with the port a potty built in. There is no solid cushion to cover the top of the port a potty part but it does have wheel chair wheels and handles in back to push while someone is in it. Cleaning would be same as above.

I am waiting to hear from estate executor on pricing it and will list it later this afternoon or this evening. And yes, could deliver this week.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 11/22/10 11:00 AM
To: deedee———@aol.com

Greetings,

Thanks for getting back to me so quickly!  So, in order to clarify, here is a hypothetical scenario:  Tomorrow I’d like to take the office chair out of my cubicle and replace it with the port a potty.  Generally, I eat lunch in my cubicle (most often a ham sandwich and some type of pasta salad).  When, I’m finished eating lunch,  I’ll simply remove the synthetic leather chair top to reveal the toilet seat, and defecate and urinate in the bucket below.   Then, I’ll carry the bucket to the office men’s room, and flush all waste down the toilet.  This is how it works, correct?   Do you think I should opt for the sturdier of the two?  Perhaps, it would be beneficial to have a port a potty that will allow for more mobility.  But, then again, I’d need two helpers: one to push the chair, and one to hold the bucket.  Let me know your thoughts.

Thanks,
RP

The post Potty Mouth appeared first on Randy Penny: Cordially F*#^ing With People.

I am a male nudist seeking work to supplement my income. I prefer to work in the nude and am willing to consider pretty much anything you’re willing to pay me to do. I am pretty handy with household chores and maintenance, fixing things, minor electrical, plumbing, carpentry, painting, odd jobs, etc. Like I said, I’ll consider pretty much anything you’re willing to pay me to do and I prefer to work naked. I’ll even do outdoor work naked if privacy and weather permit. Nothing sexual is implied or intended. I am technically minded, friendly, intelligent, honest, and have a great sense of humor. Rates are negotiable and my schedule is fairly flexible. I’ll work for men, women, or couples.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Tue 10/26/10 1:33 PM
To: serv———-@craigslist.org

Hello,
I see that you’re a nudist looking for work.  I think I might be able to help you out.  Are you still looking?   Let me know.

Thanks,
RP

From: ———–@yahoo.com
Sent: Tue 10/26/10 5:45 PM
To: Randy Penny

Yes, I am.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 10/28/10 8:43 AM
To: ———–craigslist.org

Hello!

I noticed that you have a great sense a humor.   That should come in handy when you work for us!   My wife and I are having a birthday party for our daughter.  She’s inviting several of her classmates over to the house.   If weather permits,  we’ll be having it outside on the back patio.   If not, the basement will suffice.   The party won’t be terribly fancy.  Just cake, ice cream, presents, and lots of laughter!  We’ll probably play some fun music for the kids, too.   We’d like you to come over a little early to help us set up.  And, while we’re keeping an eye on the kids, we’d love for you to entertain them, and do some mild clean-up; pick up plastic cups, throw away plates and plastic utensils, make sure the kids’ hands are free of frosting, etc.   We’ll pay you $100, and provide you with cake and ice cream.   Though you will have to wear a party hat!  The party is next Saturday.  Please come around 2:00pm.   Let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks,
RP

From: ———–@yahoo.com
Sent: Thu 10/28/10 11:39 AM
To: Randy Penny

How long would I be there?  Where is it?  Since it’s for kids, I suspect I could not work naked, right?

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 10/28/10 3:26 PM
To: ————@yahoo.com

Greetings,
The party will probably last 2-3 hours.  I was anticipating that you’d be working in the nude.  However,  we would like you to wear a party hat.   And, perhaps a clown nose.  Weather permitting,  the party will be in our backyard.  Otherwise,  we’re going to have it in the basement.  Plus, if it’s a bit chilly outside, I’d imagine that you’d like the party to be inside, in order to save yourself some embarrassment.  I doubt the kids understand the concept of “shrinkage”,  but you never know, right?  Kids these days!  After the party,  you’d be more than welcome to stick around and help us put in some shelf paper,  since you’ll already be in the nude.   We can’t swing too much more than $100,  but we’d be happy to give you some cake and ice cream.  And we’d encourage you to keep the party hat.  Hope to see you on Saturday!

Thanks,
RP

From: ————@yahoo.com
Sent: Thu 10/28/10 3:44 PM
To: Randy Penny

Which Saturday are we talking about?  Do you mean the 30th or the 6th?  What about this back yard of your’s?  Is it private enough for nudity?  You haven’t told me where is is, as in what city.  Quite frankly, I’m a bit suspicous.  When you say kids I assume they are minors.  That being the case, I find it hard to believe you would want, or even permit, me to work naked.  I don’t know for sure but I don’t think it would be legal.  Is there a number where I can call you?

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 10/28/10 4:07 PM
To: ————@yahoo.com

Hi there!
Our backyard is quite private.  It’s enclosed by a 4 foot wooden fence, and my wife’s tomato plants.  Though, because it’s getting cold outside,  the tomato plants are beginning to wilt.  Do you have any tips for gardening in late fall?  I am talking about next Saturday, November 6th.  And, if you aren’t available,  we’d like to book you for next year.  Perhaps that would alleviate some of your suspicion, as my daughter will be a year older.   I’d also like to build her a treehouse.  Is that something you’d be interested in?

Thanks,
RP

The post Birthday Suit appeared first on Randy Penny: Cordially F*#^ing With People.

1981 Blue Fin 16.5′ Aluminum fishing boat. DOES NOT INCLUDE THE MOTOR!! Boat and trailer only. The trailer tows like a champ, really smooth. Very easy to load & unload. Rollers, bearing buddies, great tires, spare. Boat is rated for up to 40 hp, has 2 new batteries, a new stereo (front MP3 input, USB port, SD slot, 3 Pioneer boat speakers plus a spare), new seats, new flooring, new carpet, new transom, large front storage, new wiring (everything works great). Comes with a nice Eagle fish finder and an older Minkota bow mount trolling motor. Also has rod holders, cup holders, rod mounts, bilge pump, 6 gallon tank, new anchor, new fire extinguisher, hand held horn, 2 new life jackets, 1 new throw-able, bow & stern lights, and a new hand-held spotlight. I’ll also throw in the 2 tongue locks for the trailer. The boat is a fantastic little fishing boat, everything is there. It sucks I have to get rid of it but I’ve got a wedding to pay for soon. My stupidity, your gain.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Tue 10/26/10 2:34 PM
To: sale———–@craigslist.org

Aye Aye Sir,

Cool boat!  I’d love to take it off your hands so you can get married.  And, don’t be so hard on yourself.  You’re not stupid for wanting to sell the boat.  Only for getting married!  Let me know if it’s still available.

Thanks,
RP

From: Nick W
Sent: Tue 10/26/10 5:37 PM
To: Randy Penny

I meant foolish for getting married. At least I know there will be other boats in my future, not just the one for the rest of my life. I didn’t think this through. Just kidding.
You were the first to reply by exactly 15 minutes so you get first option to come take a look. If Thursday after 5:00 works for you I’ll be available then. Let me know.
Thanks,

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Wed 10/27/10  9:30 AM
To: Nick W

Ahoy, there!

I’m looking forward to seeing the boat.   I’d like to wear my sailor suit and bring along my first mate, if you don’t mind.   Let me know if this works!

Thanks,
RP

From: Nick W
Sent: Wed 10/27/10 10:21 PM
To: Randy Penny

Ahh, ok. If you’re available to look at it tomorrow after 5:00 give me a number I can contact you at and I’ll call you either tonight or tomorrow.
Thanks,

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 10/28/10 12:44 PM
To: Nick W

Captain Nick,

Sounds great!  Please contact me via Iridium or HAM radio.   My call sign is RP1CFWP.   If I’m not available, you’re more than welcome to contact Slippy,  my first mate.  His call sign is RP2CFWP.   If you have any trouble,  go ahead and visit the International Telecommunications Union.   We are in Region 2.   Can’t wait to check out the boat, and hope to hear from you soon!

P.S. Do you have any extra life jackets?

Thanks,
RP

The post Missed the Boat appeared first on Randy Penny: Cordially F*#^ing With People.

hey there. I am looking for a man who is intelligent, confident, taller than 6 feet, caucasian, laid back, curious, open minded, honest, fun, and independent. Someone who can have fun going out or staying in. Someone who can make me smile..
I am 5′9 with blonde hair and blue eyes. I am a bbw; confident, sexy and intelligent woman. I have photos to trade. I have many interests which include spontaneous road trips, travel, vegas, hanging out with friends, writing, anything ot do with music, movies, my dogs, baseball, checking out restaurants, football, hiking, etc.
I am looking for someone to talk with via email, texting or messenger at first and then hang out. SO, I want to find someone who actually likes bbw’s to possibly hang out with. If interested, send me an email with some info about yourself and a photo. Please be over 6 feet and between the ages of 27 and 40. Also, caucasian and a non smoker..

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Tue 10/26/10 1:30 PM
To: pers—————@craigslist.org

Hi There!

I stumbled across your ad,  and had to respond.  I am a fun-loving guy,  seeking a BBW to spend some quality time with.   I enjoy movies,  crossword puzzles, and listening to music.  I’m quite easy on the eyes,  and almost 6 feet and 6 inches tall!  That’s tall enough to play in the WNBA.  I would love to chat some more.

Hope to hear back from you soon!

Thanks,
RP

From: ————-@yahoo.com
Sent: Tue 10/26/10 1:31 PM
To: Randy Penny

WNBA? wrong sex??? do you have a photo?

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Tue 10/26/10 1:42 PM
To: —————-@yahoo.com

Hello!

Generally,  women are 4 to 6 inches shorter than men.  Most NBA players are around 6′10”.  Considering that I’m almost 6′6”, only mildly athletic, but do have testicles,  I figure I’d be much better suited for the WNBA.   But, you never know!   What kind of dogs to you have?  What is your favorite movie?

Yes,  I do have a photo.  Looking forward to hearing back from you!

Thanks,
RP

From: ————@yahoo.com
Sent: Tue 10/26/10 2:18 PM
To: Randy Penny

Hey. Where is that photo? i have 2 labs, both female. One chocolate and one black. I love too many movies to just choose one. Anything from the bourne series to the hangover to bridget jones diary. I like most movies except westerns and sci fi. And yourself?

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Tue 10/26/10 4:09 PM
To: ————-@yahoo.com

Hey There!

I bet your dogs are obedient and very well-trained.  What are their names?  I have two cats (I think), named Willy and Wonka.  Sometimes Willy hisses mercilessly at Wonka, causing him to cower,  and then defecate on the floor.  Oh, that silly Willy!  I completely understand that it’s hard to choose just one movie.  There are quite a few out there!  I know you don’t like Sci-fi movies or Westerns, but do you like Sci Fi Westerns?  I’m quite aroused by the idea of an intergalactic gunslinger.  Aren’t you?
I always thought “BBW” was an acronym for “Big Black Woman.”   But, you are Caucasian.   Can’t wait to hear from you.

Thanks,
RP

From: ————-@yahoo.com
Sent: Tue 10/26/10 4:15 PM
To: Randy Penny

bbw means big beautiful woman. my dogs are not very obiedient. they are pretty wild. what nationality are you? why no photo?

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Tue 10/26/10 7:45 PM
To: ————-@yahoo.com

Hi there!

I’m sorry to hear about your dogs.  They must be pretty hard to handle!  I’m an American.  Though, I believe my ancestors came from Ethiopia.   I’ve attached a photo for you to look at.   Hope to talk you soon!

Thanks,
RP

The post Cat’s Meow appeared first on Randy Penny: Cordially F*#^ing With People.

On Sunday the 17th we went to the bigger park at Manchester Elementary! We lost a transformers backpack that was full of toys, and we know it had 4 star wars jedi swords in it. PLEASE let us know if you found it!!!!!!!!

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 10/21/10 3:43 PM
To: comm.————@craigslist.org

Hello,

I’m writing to let you know that I have not found your backpack.   I’ll keep looking!

Thanks,
RP

From: ————–@yahoo.com
Sent: Thu 10/21/10 8:57 PM
To: Randy Penny

well thanks

The post Lost AND Not Found appeared first on Randy Penny: Cordially F*#^ing With People.

WHEN: SATURDAY 10/2 (arrive 10-15 mins early to warmup/practice)
WHERE: HUGH G DANAHY PARK:
Please email me at: flag——@gmail.com, if you’re attending & if you’re bringing people with you please let me know how many. Thanks
WHO: Anyone is invited 18+ years of age, all skill levels, feel free to bring people with you
WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO: Just bring yourself, all equipment is provided, it’s a free pick up game, email: flag—–@gmail.com & let me know how many.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 9/27/10 9:53 AM
To: flag———@gmail.com

Howdy,

I’ve been desperately trying to find a flag football game to join.  Are you still planning to hold a game at the park on Saturday?   Let me know.

Thanks,
RP

From: flag———@gmail.com
Sent: Mon 9/27/10 7:36 PM
To: Randy Penny

yes sir 530, be there at 515 to warmup, I’m assuming you have the info if not go to Craigslist-Community-Activity Partners-Flag Football

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Tue 9/28/10 8:49 AM
To: flag———-@gmail.com

Hello!

Thanks for getting back to me.  I can’t wait for the big game.  Last time I played flag football,  I scored the winning goal.  I can hardly describe how I felt after such a feat.  It was quite a rush!   Anyway, how many people can I bring?  I have my own flags,  hand-woven and passed down to me by my grandfather.  Can I bring them?  Are there team names?  If not, I have some ideas.  Let me know.  Looking forward to hearing from you.

Thanks,
RP

From: flag———-@gmail.com
Sent: Tue 9/28/10 5:56 PM
To: Randy Penny

Randy,
It’s up to you how many ppl you want to bring, we have all the equipment already; triple threat flags, cones, etc so all you have
to do is show up.  There aren’t team names, but we have different color jerseys for each team.  We’ll see you out there.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Tue 9/28/10 6:54 PM
To: flag——-@gmail.com

Hello,

I’m going to bring my mother and father.  They’re both in their 80s,  but love to engage in physical activity.  They’re quite spunky.  My father, especially, can keep up with the best of ‘em.  I’m planning on using him as my running back.  And, of course,  I’ll be the quarterback.  Please tell the others that we are coming. What time is kick off?  And when should we arrive?  Will there be a halftime?  Let me know as soon as you can.

Thanks,
RP

From: flag———gmail.com
Sent: Tue 9/28/10 8:21 PM
To: Randy Penny

around 530, We pick teams and the team decides on the positions played.  There’s not a set halftime.  Thanks

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Wed 9/29/10 9:22 AM
To: flag———-@gmail.com

Great.  5:30 is perfect!  My father is very excited to play running back.  He does have a cane,  but I don’t think it’ll affect the rate of play.   Should I bring any snacks for halftime?  I used to play soccer as a kid, and we’d always get orange slices during halftime.   They provided quite an energy boost, and helped get us through the remainder of the game.   Should we arrive a little before 5:30 to go over our playbook?   Let me know as soon as you can.

Thanks,
RP

From: flag—–@gmail.com
Sent: Wed 9/29/10 8:50 PM
To: Randy Penny

um sure however you like there buddy.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 9/30/10 8:32 AM
To: flag———–@gmail.com

Hello!

Awesome!  I’m very much looking forward to the big game,  and being the team captain.  Now that you and I are friends,  I’m assuming we’ll be on the same team.  Why don’t we get together this evening, or tomorrow afternoon, and go over our strategy.   What time works best for you?   Let me know ASAP,  so I can put it on my calendar and prepare some materials.  See you soon!

Thanks,
RP

The post Flag Day appeared first on Randy Penny: Cordially F*#^ing With People.

I am a fit, very attractive, blonde haired, green eyed woman with an all natural body. I am looking to clean your home in the nude. Introductory rate is $150 for two hours of cleaning. NO SEX. No tips or gifts. I will use your supplies… where would I have a place to carry my own?? I’m available during the day and on some weekends.

Thanks!

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Fri 9/17/10 11:57 AM
To: serv————@craigslist.org

Hi There!
I’m looking for a nude house cleaner.   Are you still offering this service?   Please let me know.

Thanks,
RP

From: Max
Sent: Sat 9/18/10 9:42 AM
To: Randy Penny

Hello,

First, thank you for your interest in this service!

Second, don’t be alarmed at this email address…  I am the Master of a beautiful woman that will be performing this service.  I’ve attached a couple photos of her body for you to see.  This is not an offer for sex, simply 2 hours of nude house cleaning.  She is good at cleaning and has a compulsive cleanliness side to her that will not only leave you with a clean house, but a nice view as well.

She is typically available on Mon, Weds and Fridays, but her schedule can be a little flexible.  What part of town are you in?  How large is your home?  You supply cleaning supplies.  Again, the price is $150 for 2 hours of nude cleaning.  Let me know when you would like to schedule an appt.

Max

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 9/23/10 9:31 AM
To: Max

Hi Max!

I apologize for the delayed response.  I have to admit, I was a bit frightened by your email address.  However, knowing that you are simply this woman’s master is very comforting.  As her master,  will you be fielding all of my questions?  I have a fairly large home, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and a sun room.  I’m mainly concerned about the hard to reach places,  areas that I find difficult to clean myself.   Will she be able to dust the tops of my ceiling fans and the insides of my light fixtures?  Is she able to bend down and scrub the nooks and crannies in my kitchen tile?  Will she be bringing any of her own cleaning supplies?  I have the basics, a broom, a vacuum, some rags, and some 409.   Does she clean totally nude,  or will she be wearing shoes?   Let me know.  My house is getting dirtier every second!

Thanks,
RP

From: Max
Sent: Thu 9/23/10 10:57 AM
To: Randy Penny

Hi Randy

Thanks for getting back. Yes I will be fielding all questions. She will be totally nude when she cleans. She will certainly be able to get nooks and crannies but unless you have a ladder she won’t be able to reach fan blades. She does not bring her own supplies.

I have to reiterate that this is a nude cleaning service only. $75 / hour with a two hour minimum.

What days work for you? She is nursing a bruised rib right now so perhaps next week?

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 9/23/10 1:13 PM
To: Max

Hey Max,
Thank you for letting me know that I will need a ladder.  I guess I just assumed that she is 9 feet tall.   I appreciate you reiterating that this is strictly a nude cleaning service.  Just to clarify, this means NO sexual intercourse, oral sex, tongue kissing, S&M, fetishes, or otherwise lewd behavior, correct?
I am really sorry to hear that she has a bruised rib.  Did this happen as a result of an unfortunate cleaning mishap?  I hope she recovers soon.  Almost everyday is good, except Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
Looking forward to hearing back from you.

Thanks,
RP

From: Max
Sent: Tue 9/7/10 2:53 PM
To: Randy Penny

LOL…. Of course. Best days are MWF but I’ll see what I can do. Where are you located? How many sq ft is your house? Is it generally clean now or is it a complete mess? If you like the service would you like regular cleaning?

Her bruised rib came from disobeying me… It shouldn’t effect too much work.

You’re correct that there is no contact with her.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 9/23/10 5:50 PM
To: Max

Max,

My house is quite spacious, and some might call it a bit messy.   However,  I’m sure that your servant will be able to tidy it up in no time.  I’ve attached a picture of my desk, upon which sits the computer I am currently using.   This should give you a general idea of what the job will entail.   Certainly, nothing my dustbuster won’t take care of.   I’ve attached a picture of my dustbuster as well.  Check it out.  It’s a Black and Decker!
I’m a little hesitant about hiring somebody with a bruised rib, however.  How bad is it?  How soon will she recover?  Will having sexual intercourse cause further injury?
Looking forward to hearing back from you.

Thanks,
RP

From: Max
Sent: Thu 9/7/10 6:40 PM
To: Randy Penny

Randy,

If your house looks like your desk it would certainly be a job that would keep her busy for months on end!  Looks like she would spend 2 hours just clearing the shit off that desk!

Don’t worry about her rib.  Sexual intercourse is not going to be a concern for her job, so it should be an issue for you.  She should be recovered fully in a few weeks.

I dig that black and decker, looks like it really sucks!

Max

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Fri 9/24/10 8:27 AM
To: Max

Hi Max,
I appreciate the kind words, though there isn’t much funny about a dirty house or a broken rib.   Is she your only servant,  or do you have others?   Does she arrive in the nude,  or does she undress once inside my house?  Will she mind if I, too, am in the nude?
Hope to hear from you.

Thanks,
RP

The post NOOKS AND CRANNIES appeared first on Randy Penny: Cordially F*#^ing With People.

Here’s the deal, I hate my current job. I am a full time college student working on my second bachelors. I am very smart and very very smart and very hard working. I need a very flexible schedule to work with my schooling and I make a fair amount of money currently so would need to make close to the same amount. I also need benefits. Im very smart and dont like working with stupid people so I would need to be kept away from customers or other employees who are either stupid or lazy. I have a lot of work experience, and a lot of varied skills.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Tue 9/7/10 2:57 PM
To: res———-@craigslist.org

Hello,
I noticed your ad,  and was wondering if you were still looking for a job.   I might be able to help.   Let me know.

Thanks,
RP

From: Jeff
Sent: Tue 9/7/10 3:26 PM
To: Randy Penny

Yes, I am still looking. Please let me know the details of the position and what information you would need on me.
Thank you

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 9/9/10 9:58 AM
To: Jeff

Hi Jeff!

I apologize for the delayed response.  I’ve been swamped,  which is why I replied to your ad.  I think this could be a very fulfilling job for you, should you choose to move forward.  Foremost,  I do have a few questions for you.

1)You said that you hate your current job.  What type of work does your current job entail?  I’d like to make sure you enjoy working for me, so knowing what types of duties you like and dislike will be especially helpful.

2)I do offer benefits.  But, what kind of compensation are you looking for?

3)You said that you are “very smart and very very smart…”  Does this mean you are very very very smart?  I definitely need somebody that is at least very smart,  if not very very smart.

4)Would you briefly describe some of your most valuable skills?

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Thanks,
RP

From: Jeff
Sent: Thu 9/9/10 10:31 AM
To: Randy Penny

Hello,
No problem on the delay. I have attached a copy of my resume. My current job is taking phone calls in a call center. I have been with the company for 8 years and was the Manager of Operations, but dropped down to an entry level position when I returned to school. I have a Bachelor of Arts in Journalism with an emphasis on PR/Advertising. I also have a minor in Spanish. I am currently finishing a Bachelor of Science in Biology. I am very familiar with many forms of technology, including databases, hardware, various forms of software, and speech and telephony technology. My strongest skills are public speaking, training, writing, project management, and data analytics, but I am really up to most challenges. I also have very strong selling skills and I am one of the top sellers at my call center. I basically do not like repetition. As far as compensation/benefits I need health coverage and would like a set salary, but the amount can be discussed. Please let me know if you have any other questions.
Thank you,

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 9/9/10 11:26 AM
To: Jeff

Hey Jeff,
I’m thrilled to hear that you’ve obtained a minor in Spanish.  It’s vital to your success.  As a test,  would you be willing to re-write your last email in Spanish and send it to me?  Is that something you think you are capable of?  If you could have any job,  what would it be?  What are your salary requirements?   When are you available to start?

Thanks,
RP

From: Jeff
Sent: Thu 9/9/10 11:37 AM
To: Randy Penny

Please tell me the name of your company, and the position I am being considered for. I don’t typically go through interview steps without knowing what position/company I am applying for. Once I receive this information I can easily translate my previous email. As you can see on my resume I studied in an International university.
Thank you

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 9/9/10 11:58 AM
To: Jeff

Jeff,
Congratulations on having studied at an International University!  That must have been an exhilarating and fulfilling experience.   Certainly, your education is what has allowed you to become “very smart” and “very very smart”.  Most people don’t get the opportunity to travel, let alone study abroad,  so I hope that you consider yourself fortunate.

The name of my company is RP-CFWP.  I specialize in strategic email communication, generating unique sales leads, and intensive market analysis.  Your position would allow you to utilize all of your valuable skills in each of these fields.  I provide a casual atmosphere, room for growth, and free coffee.

Thanks,
RP

From: Jeff
Sent: Thu 9/9/10 12:07 PM
To: Randy Penny

Well, since your company does not return on a Google search, I will assume it is a BS company, and that you are just an internet looser who spends his days online trying to distract yourself from the sad reality that is your life. You’ve probably envied people like me your entire life and look for any opportunity you can to try to mess with us, of course from a safe distance behind your computer screen, so that you can feel some sort of personal power in a world which seems to have left you so far behind.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 9/9/10 12:12 PM
To: Jeff —–

Jeff,

Thank you so much for the quick response!  I truly appreciate your no-nonsense attitude.  When can you start?

Thanks,
RP

The post Very Smart! appeared first on Randy Penny: Cordially F*#^ing With People.

Hello, I am a male who is currently looking to try some nude modeling for artists and or photographers. I have no previous modeling experience, just something that I would like to try.
If you are an artist, or photographer and would like a model let me know. Amatuer or professionals accepted.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 8/12/10 1:57 PM
To: serv———@craigslist.org

Hello,

I am a photographer looking for a nude model,  and I stumbled across your ad.  Are you still interested?   Please let me know,  as I’ll be shooting in the near future.   Hope to hear from you soon.

Thanks,
RP

From: Andy
Sent: Thu 8/12/10 2:48PM
To: Randy Penny

Randy, yes I would be interested.  Just a little about myself.  I am 28 white male.  I am 6′4″ 210 slender build.  Working out trying to cut dow a little weight.  I have never done any modeling before.  I am kid of doing this as a little fantasy that I have had of being photographed nude.  The only thing I ask is that this stay as discreet as possible.  I would rather not have my head in any of the shots, not sure if thats something we can work around or not.  I just want to be discreet.

Would this be a paying gig?  Do you have any sample photos that I could look at?

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 8/12/10 3:07 PM
To: Andy

Andy,

As a matter of fact, your head will not be in any of the shots.  Typically,  I photograph wild animals.  However, for my newest project,  I am trying something a little different.  I’m going to experiment with superimposition, whereby I will place the heads of real wildlife onto the body of a naked male.  So, in other words, one photo might feature your naked body with the head of a rhinoceros.   I should probably mention that I will need you to pose appropriately.  For example,  if I’m using your body with the head of a tiger on the prowl,  I’ll need you to be on all fours,  with your back arched.   Because you are tall, slender, and likely well-endowed,  you’ll be perfect for the project.   Most wild animals are at least 6 feet in length, and possess hefty genitalia.   I won’t be able to pay you much, initially.  However, if I like the photos,  I’m going to turn them into a binded, glossy portfolio entitled “Manimals” and distribute copies to several publishing houses.  Assuming “Manimals” will be a top-seller,  I’d be happy to give you a percentage of the profits?

When can you start?  I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Thanks,
RP

From: Andy
Sent: Thu 8/12/10 3:19PM
To: Randy Penny

Right now I dont have any other pictures of my genitals besides some close ups on my cell phone, which I could send to you.  Would you like any other pictures to look at to make sure I would fit the description?

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 8/12/10 3:36 PM
To: Andy

Andy,

I’d rather you didn’t send me any photos of your genitalia.  That area will not be focal point of the photos.  If necessary,  I can always have you wear a clay fitting or some sort of rubber tubing to make yourself appear larger.   However, this situation would only arise if I decide to include photos of your body featuring the head of a horse or an elephant.  Incidentally,  the Blue Whale has the largest penis in the animal kingdom,  but I won’t be including any marine life in “Manimals”.   Do you have any photos in which you are posing as an animal?  Perhaps a Grizzly Bear or a Tibetan Red Deer?  That might help.

Thanks,
RP

From: Andy
Sent: Thu 8/12/10 4:11PM
To: Randy Penny

I do not have any pictures of me posing as an animal.  I really dont know how to get any of those pics.  I need to talk to my wife about this whole thing before I fully commit to it.

I have a few questions. How much would you be willing to pay upfront?
Do you have a studio? Will anyone else be in the studio?

If you would decide to use my pictures, and publish them and the book does well.  What percentage would you be willing to pay me?

I just want to know more details before I present this whole thing to my wife.  Might be a tough sell, it might also be something I would have to do without her knowing.

Thanks

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 8/12/10 4:46 PM
To: Andy

Andy,

Well, first, it shouldn’t be too difficult to get a picture of you posing as an animal.   Just strip off your clothes, get down on your hands and knees, and ask your wife or somebody passing by to snap a photo.

Like, I said, I can’t pay you much up front.  Maybe 3-5 dollars per usable photo.   I use my apartment as a studio.  Its a studio apartment,  so it seemed appropriate.  And, for this particular project, I’ve invested in quite a bit of decoration to make the studio look like the natural habitat of several different animals.  Nobody else will be in the studio.  I’ve had one woman agree to the project,  but initially I’ll keep you two separate.   At some point, I would be interested in taking some mating photos.

It’s hard to estimate how well “Manimals” will do,  but 10 percent is pretty typical.   I’m sure your wife will like the idea. It’s going to be a great coffee table book.

Thanks,
RP

The post MANIMALS appeared first on Randy Penny: Cordially F*#^ing With People.

little older and not to big what you got worth 100

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 7/12/10 1:35 PM
To: sale——–@craigslist.org

Hello!

Are you still looking to get rid of your snow blower?  I’d be interested in making a trade.  Let me know.

Thanks,
RP

From: Rob
Sent: Mon 7/12/10 1:50 PM
To: Randy Penny

what do you have?

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 7/12/10 1:52 PM
To: Rob

Hi Rob,

I have a snow blower that I don’t particularly like anymore.  Since you’re getting rid of yours,  I figured you’d need a new one.  When should we make the trade?

Thanks,
RP

From: Rob
Sent: Mon 7/12/10 2:10 PM
To: Randy Penny

No thank you

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 7/12/10 2:54 PM
To: Rob

Rob,

I do have some other items I’d be interested in trading.  What kinds of things are you looking for?  Please let me know.

Thanks,
RP

From: Rob
Sent: Mon 7/12/10 3:03 PM
To: Randy Penny

Do you want my snow blower

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 7/12/10 8:55 PM
To: Rob

Rob,

Here is a list of things I’d like to trade for your snow blower,  in alphabetical order:

a snow blower
another snow blower
snow blower

Let me know which one interests you, and when you’d like to make the trade.

Thanks,
RP

From: Rob
Sent: Mon 7/12/10 10:03 PM
To: Randy Penny

Hmmmm snow blower does sound tempting

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Tue 7/13/10 8:25 AM
To: Rob

Rob,

I thought it might.  Snow blowers are terrific in the winter, as they efficiently clear sidewalks and driveways of snow.  When would you like to make the trade?  I’m available any day after 5.  Let me know.

Thanks,
RP

The post Snow Deal appeared first on Randy Penny: Cordially F*#^ing With People.