So step off male emoter haters or I’ll cry in a way specifically designed to annoy you.

It’s been a bit of a grieving process leaving my wondebah condo so as I stretched out for a final good-bye thought and prayer … I immediately thought …

What the heck am I doing in the middle of the floor? I don’t have time for this … suck it up, get over it… sheesh I am so annoying with the emotions sometimes! I’m tired of me whining about this. It is what it is, be grateful, shut up and get moving.

My friend Kathy might be amused that my high CR (concrete random) joined forces with my low CS (concrete sequential) to take control of the situation. They jumped in, declared supremacy and got my butt moving in spite of the AR (abstract random) weirdness.

And if you don’t know what AR, CR, CS and the unmentioned AS (abstract sequential) means … you poor uninformed person! You need to take Kathy’s seminar right now.

And seriously, I am done grieving the moving on from a “thing.” It was a wondebah thing but I am, and will always be, living in Him and really that’s all that matters.

By the way, my new apartment is a handsome Randy Thomas HQ. It will take some grace to get used to apartment living again but so far it hasn’t been difficult at all. Plus, I love the windows and my “views” are of trees and not the parking lot.

So, can you relate to a point in your life where you had enough of your own emotions and, in a healthy way, intentionally got over it to move on with life? Is there something going on now that you need to intentionally move on from?

So here it is …

The Most Important Things ...

The Boxes

Sitting here with all the windows open is very refreshing. Not quite sure what it is but the air is different this time of year; fresh, inviting and full of reminders that beach days are around the corner.

I love living in Florida. I don’t love it so much from about July through September. Those three months are like living in a full-time steam room, in hell, but even then … you can always go to the pool or beach.

That is why, while I am moving this week, I will only be moving two miles down the road.

Selling my condo was a strictly financially based decision. I praise God that it has sold and things have worked out as they have. This whole experience, in this awful economy, turned into what I consider a serious miracle actually. At the same time, there is a bit of grief along with the relief.

As of today my spacious two bedroom condo has been reduced to the two piles in the pictures in this post as well as the furniture not in the pictures. I only have to get my master bedroom done but that won’t take long.

Tomorrow the Salvation Army is coming out to pick up a really good-sized stack of furniture. I have already taken four carloads of books, trinkets, artwork and miscellaneous stuff I can live without to the Goodwill trailer at the local grocery store. I hope that stuff will bless someone looking for cool stuff at their thrift stores.

Because you know that I only have cool stuff…well … and the Fossil tin. I guess at one time I thought that little wallet tin was really cool but … why did I keep that?

I am glad to support both outreaches. They do really good work.

Can't bring myself to put these in boxes.

I could blog the typical “fresh start” “new beginnings” and “clear out the clutter” analogies. I could take the lessons from the hard work of sifting, packing and donating and applying them to my spiritual walk…

And maybe I will at some point .. but not now.

Right now I am simply just trying to get through it all without throwing out my back or calling my therapist.

I think the biggest thing today was saying good-bye to not only just things but the dreams of living here for the rest of my life. When I bought this I was full of hope that I would be a tottering old man celebrating the pay off of my mortgage shortly after retirement … Four and a half years ago, I could easily see that happening. I felt safe here. I have many good memories of friends visiting, minor drama, but lots more laughter with the neighbors. So seeing almost the whole house completely boxed up (Master bedroom will be done tomorrow) I turned the corner from grieving the idea of moving out of a place I loved to saying good-bye to a finished season in life.

That might sound a little hokey for a guy to say. That may sound sexist to even point out. Maybe it is but I really attached to this place in a significant way and I am not ashamed of the moments of grief that have come or might come.

Sunday Nap View. This is the last time I will wake up from a nap to this view. Yes, those are my toes.

Today was also the first real hint of excitement. Along with the fresh air filling the place, cleaning out all the cupboards and bringing order to what has seemed like a big pile of mess (for a couple of weeks) has been quite fulfilling.

I am also mindful of the great blessing it is to be self-employed and actually getting paid for it and am deeply grateful for this season the Lord has me in. With regards to career, home, finances, and relationships it may seem like there has been a huge upheaval in all the above because I don’t normally blog about the home or finance stuff. But, and this is the truth, it’s never felt out of control or emotionally chaotic. The Lord has brought in very wise counsel and great friends. I have worked through this transition, step by step, really since January 2011. The Lord had me start praying for all of this in 2010.

Of course when I started praying I didn’t have any clue that it would end up here but I was never shocked by God’s “next step.” He never gives us more than we can handle. He deserves praise for that so give me an amen to that. Seriously,  I want you to say Amen Jesus! to your computer. No one is watching but Him so … do it.

This experience could be book. And if I don’t wrap up this post it might be a rough draft of one

There was a time in my life, as a young transient (homeless for a few weeks) adult, where I was tossed about and in full-on despair. But today, I have a Shepherd, I am at Home in Him no matter where I lay my head at night.

And as the fresh air flows over my face, as I close my eyes in the middle of my barren second bedroom floor … I am at peace.

As for Houston, I hope and believe she’s absent from the body and present with the Lord. She was raised in church, after all, heiress to a gospel singing legacy and surely familiar with Christ’s promises. I see Him receiving her, judging and rewarding her works, then ushering her in. I also see myself registering, when my gig’s done, for a bass part in the heavenly choir Sister Whitney, eternity’s duly appointed vocal champ, will no doubt be directing by then. And the gift will shine again, uninterrupted and forever.

Amen. I love the visual that created.  Joe also posted an article titled How Then Should We Respond? The Church and Homosexuality. It is one of my favorite teachings by him.

Speaking of controversial issues, Andy posts about his conversation with a young man who identifies as gay and how his reaction to Andy is typical of the motives to redefine marriage. It’s called The New Normal? and I am sure, well I can tell by the comments on his blog … his views on marriage are quite provocative in our current climate.

Kathy post that if interest were the only barometer of a generation’s interest in music, we might be currently living in the most musical generation ever. I think she might have a point.

And my good friend Alan’s article Relinquishing My Role as The Holy Spirit was posted ont he Grace Church Orlando website. I mean, not sure what he is going through but I’ve not ever struggled with confusing Alan with the Spirit but … ok .  Actually that isn’t exactly what the article is about. From the article:

The question I ask myself a lot these days is, “What would Jesus do?”  followed by, “What would He have me do?”  They are not always one in the same.  The fact is we are not Jesus.  We have no power to heal or change anyone.  We can point to His life and ministry through the Bible and our own experiences, but we aren’t Him.  We are His representatives.  Sometimes I think we are actually guilty of trying to be Him, or at least the Holy Spirit.  It isn’t our job to bring conviction or judge.  We fail to trust the Holy Spirit to do His job well when we attempt to usurp that role.

Well, I think he got into some meddlin’ right there. At least I hope he did.

And on a last and completely random note, I finally got my Online Consulting Portfolio page built. This makes me a verra happa randa!

Just like the wide-winged dove sings a song sounds like she’s singin’ oooooo.. baby oooo say ooo….

All the Cult of Stevie Nicks members just cringed at the heresy represented in the lyric line above. However, that is how I sang that song literally for decades. Hint for the non Cult of Stevie Nicks members … it is not “wide” winged dove.

Interestingly, a former co-worker corrected me one afternoon as I was playfully butchering the song. With almost tears of laughter (about the whole conversation) in his eyes he sang (emphasis mine):

Just like the one-winged dove sings a song sounds like she’s singin’ ooooo… baby oooo… say ooo….

First I was embarrassed that I had been singing this song since childhood with the “wide” version of the doves wings. But then I said, “why in the world would Stevie use a ONE winged dove analogy?” I was incredulous over the mutilation of such a lovely symbol.  But this co-worker was adamant that it was about a one-winged dove and the symbolism of what that tragedy was in the context of the song.

Hang in there. There is a point to this post.

For some reason this song just pops into my head every other month. It came out when I was 12 or 13 so I remember relating to the 17 year old  mentioned in the song. His broken-heart, “something within him” part.

That said, I never looked up the lyrics until today. The song is kind of epic lyrically and well… a little creepy. What is it with 70′s, 80′s rockers and their fascination with teenage love? Regardless, I discovered that the dove’s wing situation is neither wide or limited to one. Here is the official lyrics for that part of the chorus (emphasis mine):

Just like the white winged dove sings a song sounds like she’s singing whoo … baby … ooo … say ooo.

Well … Duh? I literally smacked my forehead when I saw that… at the age of 43 … some thirty years later. It was about a WHITE winged dove. ::: roll-eyes :::

I said hang in there… here’s the point.

While I love Stevie Nicks and her artistry is very intriguing to me… I completely understand that getting the symbolic dove’s situation correct is not going to make my life any better.

However, hopefully in a humorous way, this does illustrate how words are important for context. Every one of us seeks truth. And if we land on something that we believe is true, whether it actually is or not, we will contextualize our message through that filter. It is possible that this “default” belief is wrong and completely veer away from the original Author’s message and intent. It is also possible that you could be singing (communicating) error, and thoroughly enjoy it, and not know it for decades.

So many today are lending their voices to messages that are only off, seemingly, by just a little. Even so that “little” bit can blind us from the obvious. When it comes to The Gospel, The Word of God Himself, those misunderstood words (i.e cultural Christianity vs the Living Gospel) aren’t simply symbolism or a small matter. They are eternal in value to each soul. It is important to look up the words of God’s Song(s), in the scriptures for ourselves so we know His intent and message … not our preferred or assumed context.

This applies all the way across the liberal/conservative spectrum. In fact The Gospel transcends both.

And of course, we aren’t God so it is more than probable we will need to be lovingly corrected, from time to time, by His Spirit and Word where we are in error. Sometimes He sends other believers to reason with us. A condemning Christian only breeds condemning Christians … not life-giving relationship. Correction can often come through assuming the best and encouragement. It seems we often forget that in this seemingly irreconcilable age.

It is always good to remember that God’s Grace fills the universe and beyond. There is absolutely NO condemnation for the believer. If He brings correction, receive it gratefully because it is yet another way He is expressing His divine love for us.

All of this to say, think of the various religious mantras that consistently pop up in your life: Have you tested them in the light of scripture? Have you prayed for God to reveal the true nature of Himself through authentic Communion and the scriptures?

If someone brought you correction … did you test it? Because they or you both could be wrong and neither opinion true.

Have you harmonized with others who have remixed His Song for you?

The great thing is that God knows His Word not only from the divine perspective but also from the frail human perspective. He Incarnated His Word through Jesus. And by following Him and checking out the Lyrics (scriptures) we will enter into singing the greatest Song ever written.

Forever.

See, I told you there was a point. Hope it makes sense and is helpful.

Cupid hunting begins …

::: sitting very still in the hunting blind I set up outside the florists ::: red and pink camouflage ::: paintball gun in hand with fluorescent orange paint balls loaded ::: I may not like Stupidious Cupidedum (as defined by Wikipedia) … But I am not a murderer. ::: quietly awaiting the elusive Stupid Cupid :::

The first attempt!

DRAT! I heard a giggle and thought I saw a flash of joy … nailed the Fedex driver with my paintball gun. #StupidCupid hunting fail #1 //thanks for passing the coffee and doughnuts Trent.

What’s that smell in the air? A car air-freshener apparently …

DRAT! There was the chemical scent of roses messing with my olfactory sense, and an old Barry White song filling the air. So naturally I let my paintball gun do its thing thinking the Stupid Cupid was definitely in the area and about to round the corner. Unfortunately I nailed my neighbor Fred’s Monte Carlo. It’s disturbing listening to Fred curse with Barry White crooning in the background #StupidCupid hunting fail #2

And then… the moment came. A silly looking cherub giggled as the sun momentarily blinded him. I took my aim and …

MORE:
Read In Christ, My Heart is At Home – Happy Valentines Day from a Single Guy!

Change is an unavoidable and necessary part of life.  Sometimes it may involve the smallest adjustment in our day and other times it might involve a radical transformation.  Some people like change and others will do everything in their power to avoid it (and often these two types are married to each other).  As it relates to sexual orientation, the term “change” has often been a point of confusion.  But does it have to be?  Is the problem that there are those who insist that change be defined as an absolute and unconditional concept?  I believe so.  The question we must ask is,

“For change to be authentic, must it be absolute?” …

Now please go read the whole thing.

Jeff does a great job at explaining the actual focal points of what the “change” process is for the Christian. He also explains very eloquently the fact that change is inevitable when pursuing Christ regardless of where your temptations come from or the status of your sexual orientation.

Anyway, my brief synopsis isn’t doing his article justice. Go read it for yourself.

Grrr... get back here Stupid Cupid!

Every year, I like to joke around about how February 14th is the official start to Cupid Hunting Season. This year my good friend David Hernandez drew the awesome cartoon featured in this post.

Thank you David!

Truth be told. I really like Valentine’s Day. I have to play the “let’s HUNT Stupid Cupid down!” bit every year to maintain my self-righteous single-man street creds (you can follow the hunt  during the 14th via my Twitter and Facebook feeds)… but all in all… Valentine’s Day is a cool holiday. Love and romance are beautiful aspects of relational intimacy. In their purest and truest forms they are reflections of a deeply loving and dare I say creatively “romantic” God.

He is Magnificent.

Now to switch gears a little bit, I believe the Lord has called me to a lifetime of celibacy. I am content and joyful about that.

Every time I mention this calling, which isn’t often, I get quite a few people questioning my “healing,” sanity, and relational well being. I often get condescending and sometimes even angry emails for a variety of reasons asking a whole litany of basic questions (i.e. have you really prayed about this?) or assumptive directives (i.e. You need a therapist!).

People, who don’t really know me or this belief of mine often assume, some without a hint of reservation, that I am absolutely wrong and need them to strongly exhort me into correction. Then comes the myriad of questions they are convinced I haven’t ever considered before … as if after meditating on the subject for 17 years I hadn’t actually thought through this deeply personal and life defining issue beyond the questions their initial reaction could come up with.

Why are some so reluctant to be happy for those called to celibacy? I understand the concern and need for transparency. It is as much a high calling and investment (even esteemed as a high calling in scripture) as marriage and should not be entered into flippantly or lightly. Yet, if a man or woman presents their spouse or declare they are married, no one questions the “rightness” of their commitment. But many people are biased against those who have committed to lifelong celibacy and view us with suspicion and dismissive judgment.

I hope you, my dear blog friend, will rejoice with me because as of right now I am very content with abiding in and worshipping Him this way.

So, for Valentines day I don’t have plans for woo’ing a lovely lady. I am going to hunt Stupid Cupid all day! Again, check out the feeds linked above to check my progress.

Actually, instead of a romantic dinner I will probably be packing. I am moving next week. This has caused some stress and brings to mind how God is my fulfillment in the everyday things in life.

I *expect* God to be a God of His Word. I approach His throne of Grace with humility AND confidence just like the Scriptures tell us to. I *expect* Him to talk to me not only about vastly important things and be my crisis manager … I want to, and expect to, hear from Him in the everyday moments. I mean if He asks me to pray unceasingly … in all things … that leads me to believe He must be quite talkative.

And He is.

Of course I don’t think  I would call Him chatty. He could say one sentence that blows my mind for the rest of eternity. Chatty or not, He is never at a loss for words.

Here is an example of His honoring my humbly bold expectation; as I sat in the floor rifling through all my crap to extract and pack the precious, decide the good that should be donated and discard the rest … I began to weep. I love this condo and moving is breaking my heart.

The Lord has been with me every step of the way. He pulled off some huge miracles in arranging the sale of the condo rather quickly. There is much more to it that I won’t get into but … it’s a miracle and a huge relief that it is sold. The closing date is March 1st. That said, while there is huge relief, there is a large amount of grief as well. So when I sat there and wept in my living room floor it wasn’t the first time in this process that I had done so.

Now, I wasn’t even thinking about Him really. Even so, He asserted Himself and  I heard Him. He reminded me of something He told me when I first moved to Florida in 2002. I believe He said, “When you love,  abide and Commune with Me, when you love and serve My people … no matter where you are or what your circumstance, you are Home.”

My tears dried up. My countenance cleared up and I thank Him for loving and blessing me. I think of my church family and thank Him again for them.

I might be moving my crap but I am always at Home in Him and among His people.

This Valentine’s day, I am physically alone but not lonely. My yearnings are satiated in knowing that my Lord Jesus identifies with me and has led/is leading the way; that my needs are taking care of and even ordained by my incredibly generous Heavenly Father. I love that when I am swept up in His Spirit the word “bliss” is an understatement. I feel a deep abiding love that transcends comprehension and earthly confines.

It is a Happy Valentine’s Day indeed.

Song Of Solomon 6:10, 3a

“Who is this who looks down like the dawn,
beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun,
awesome as an army with banners?”
…

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine;

When the friend asked I honestly had not read a single interview or article on the subject. Apparently it had been a controversy for about a week by the time I responded to her. Here is the video clip I watched as a result:

I watched the video on Crystal’s wall. I might blog about it but my first response is I am NOT a huge fan of boycotts because they do seem so very much like bullying. It is an old school culture vulture tactic that really has no place in the way “Christians” should respond. That’s just my humble opinion. Of course I disagree with Ellen on social issues but I do like *her* as a person, and entertainer, a whole lot. I don’t know if One Million Mom’s is a Christian outfit or not but I would encourage my sisters in Christ to not hitch their wagons to the One Million Mom’s cause. Decide for yourself if you are going to shop at JC Penney’s or not because of this. I can understand if some don’t but I think that is a personal conviction of theirs … not a public act of mob bullying. I am personally not shopping at JC Penney’s because of the awful screaming commercials they put out. Once those commercials are gone maybe I will reconsider. That said, I wouldn’t boycott JC Penney’s or any secular retail store who hired Ellen as a spokesperson.

I eventually did visit the One Million Moms Facebook page and discovered a handful of trusted Christian women are “fans” of that page. That doesn’t necessarily mean they support the group but it does convey to me that they aren’t afraid of being associated with it. Also, some of these women are women I personally respect, so that tells me there must be more to One Million Moms than this one controversy. Which is usually the case. And it is definitely a non-profit Christian group.

That said, I still think it is time for Christians to continue to take personal responsibility to steward their money as they deem appropriate but negative attention seeking through high stakes public pressure, on an a mass organizational level, needs to be replaced with intentional civility, personal responsibility and grace.