Rant Station

Yorkshirely not?

2012-02-29T00:48:00.001Z

Ok so im laying in bed a bit annoyed at my self. Tryed making some of my lovely audio art but got frustrated. I think theres too much stress going on for me to think properly but all in all emotion wise think im holding up ok, just want less hasstle so i can b totally happy. Hayley helped me out again yesterday so thank youuu. I appreciate your help so much. But yeah so im here in yorkshire just being here. Had to skip uni which im pretty annoyed with. Anyway id better go. Mite update again tomorrow. Niiiight

Comedians? Us?

2012-02-20T01:11:00.001Z

So I got back from doing the radio show today feeling mega tired which may have been a result of being at the frog and fiddle all day yesterday at a gig with tone radio. I fell asleep and I think I've gone back into this illness thing I had on Thursday and the mixture of alcohol and the sickness i had already tuckered me out back to being ill, on the basis that i was having weird dreams, my throat hurts and I'm tired.

Someone said we were comedians last night as well, so I'm going to take that as a compliment. I not sure if the other two agree with that because I'm not sure if they want to go down that route. It's understandable though. We always do funny stuff on tone radio, and I made us some cool glasses last night which are posted all over tone radio's recent things so yeah. Maybe we are comedians and we're just falling into it. What ever happens I fear "The Three Cretins" name is stuck with us.

But this might be why now I had this thought in my mind. I have always been worried about what people think of me as a person. I mean in my eyes I'm a regular guy, funny sometimes and always see the good in people. But to others i might just be funny in my little circle, and that I'm weird and really quiet. I noticed that I was quiet last night and for me social things are hit and miss for me, and I feel like i talk about myself too much to others, and I don't know what to say to people. So why not ask them out straight?

There's 2 reactions i guess. One is the false "oh you're cool" and even if it was true could you believe it? because they might be just saying that just because they don't want to hurt your feelings. The other reaction is they tell you the truth - which depends on whether they like you or not which can go tragic if they hate you or if they have this seed in their head that grows out. I remember this girl once who asked me if i had Autism... so since then i was like... OK I'm not sure what to think now. I mean in my head I'm normal but in real life I really am like that? The other thought which i should probably think is "Don't listen to any of them".

I do think i focus on my bad qualities too much though because previous girlfriends (especially one who I believe... because i actually think she is honest) have told me, and I've noticed that my good qualities must have fizzled out. I think though its more that i have is still there but i have a lot on and they will come back when they are ready. Why am I blogging this for the world to see? I don't bloody know, I'm just being honest that's all.

And i hate being quiet! Being around people with a blank head thinking i should be talking... especially with people on my course. But I'm probably thinking way too much into this. I should save it for comedy things like my Mr Bean moment on the train last week. For a while now I've been thinking of putting a set or something together. I know it's not easy but to be fair neither is in the dark, I couldn't expect anyone to just walk into tone and do what we do.

The Mr bean moment by the way - When i was in Yorkshire on the train the ticket man came to collect the tickets. While getting mine out i dropped my new phone on the floor and it landed under the chair in front. So thinking i was smart i thought i could nudge it with my foot back towards me. A guy noticed what happened and watched me doing it. just as i got it back to me where i could get it, it kicked to my other foot, which accidentally kicked it back under the chair. I looked at the man and we just looked at each other as in to say "After all that". So I just got up and said to the lady in front "Hi, can i just get my phone please? It's under your chair... I'm not perving or anything". I eventually got it back.

I think my sense of humour is going to get me in trouble one day. I said a joke today... and tried to make it really clear it was a joke. The person I did it to is one of the nicest guys ever. Dan at Tone radio came in to adjust the settings because someone messed them up and it was distorting and as he left he said "Please don't hate me" so I jokingly replied with "Don't worry Dan, We don't hate you any more than we already do". I made it really clear though that I was joking and I didn't mean any offence by it and i hope he didn't take what I said seriously but yeah... I suppose I should engage my brain before a joke tourettes its way out.

Sleep time. Nighttt.

Assignments, Sickness and Films

2012-02-17T00:44:00.000Z

So i woke up today with some "Let's do this" spirit... which after doing a tidy up to clear my mind but after i settled and had my sweets, well i just couldn't concentrate. So i managed to get someones quote into a way i could easily understand it and then wrote 200 words. I've been feeling like i have a mild cold the last few days but after my walk to town i felt all horrible and dead. I was just not interested in anything so i put a film on... Inglorious Basterds (Or however you don't spell it).

Then i watched Ferris Bueller's day off and then Beetlejuice. Both 80s classics with a guy called Jeffery Jones in. He's not in many films anymore due to run-ins with the law but him and John Lithgow were my favourite baddies.

Anyway i thought i'd say about that. Nothing interesting really but it's an update at least. I got some of that lynx final Edition today. It smells really nice. The shower gel reminded me of honey and looked like it tasted nice. I didnt try it though but if it tasted as nice as it smells i'm gona put that stuff on a sandwich and guzzle it down.

In other news i'm on tone radio's Glos-tone-beret this saturday presenting stuff with the other two cretins will be there too. That seems to be our group name now that i accidentally gave us. I'm not sure if i like it but i guess it's stuck now and is rather funny.

Anyway i'm gona finish watching this film and then go to bed.

Ooh, smoke alarm

Drinkin a JD

2012-02-12T23:27:00.001Z

So I had a bit of a crazy weekend and I'm just chilling out with a Jack Daniels and watching The Baftas. Yeah that awards ceremony that's that has the word "British" in the title and Americans win things - not having a go, just pointing it out, but i think they are past that bit now. Anyway I've so Whitney Houston died today didn't she. Even Tina Turner lived longer than her. Well it was a shame, it always is when someone famous dies. She was 48 which is a bit rubbish, but at least she sold loads of records and I think almost like Michael Jackson we all know a Whitney Houston song we have a memory to. So RIP to her.

Let's rewind to Thursday now - I got to uni late because of some idiots sleeping in the bathroom and just generally having a rough night due to all the screaming. I don't usually go to uni on Thursdays but John Brigs who does the voice on the weakest link and a number of other things was doing a guest lecture. I show up 5 minutes late stylishly bumping into chairs - i suppose it's more like something from an American film. I probably should have gone to talk to him as i'm really interested in the voiceover stuff but i didn't know what to ask or talk about. I went to Swindon to pick up my glasses and went to my mum's and got home. Pretty eventless but thought I'd mention Jon Brigs.

...and just so you know I've swapped drinks to this dirty black stuff that Rich and I got to I can remember the taste of JD when that's done.

Friday my day started slowly waking up and messaging my classmates and doing some boring things again until i left to catch the train and trapsed my scooter onto the bus in Yorkshire. It's this point I wish i had my web address on my clothes because this girl saw my scooter and wooly hat and kept giving me a cheeky smile... Oh yes :), I finally reached the destination of castle bobskill

Friday finished and I woke up in Saturday slightly achy thanks to riding the scooter all week. I met up with Tom and went to McDonalds and endured a so called breakfast. I think I shall consider what that entails next time and just be happy with an Egg McMuffin oe something. That burger thing... well it was like "WHY?". I forgot my socks which I didn't realise till I was on the train up so i had to get some new ones and then went to spend the day in With Ruby. Got knackered and came back with tons of pictures and went back to castle bobskull, Dropped some stuff off and watched Chronicle at the cinema for a curry and a chat with Tom which nicely brought me into today.

Still tired and achy from the day before i woke up at just before 7 because i had to get into Cheltenham for 12 for the Radio show. Made it just 10 mins late which is pretty good considering the second choice was an hour late.

I really should be also doing this essay thing but I've just not done it because of the business.

Really this was a nothingness post, but better to say something i guess. It doesnt sound crazy to you but it was wall to wall for me. Meh laterssssss.

Morning timeeee

2012-02-07T08:14:00.000Z

It's morning time and I've just recorded the sounds i should have done last night. Only took a few minutes. Before i went to sleep last night i watched a few cartoons that cheered me up a little. Not sure why but i'm always drawn towards these kinds of things - It's the reason i put the bla bla bla video up. Here is a line, it amuses me, and then after is some plasticine which i have discovered a few years ago which i think is totally amazing.

Is nobody innocent?

2012-02-06T23:24:00.001Z

Why do people have to play games? I mean I'm a total big kid right (I rode my kick scooter to uni today. I'm pleased), so I'm all up for games, but ones that mess with your feelings... well I'm all gamed out. I don't want to play this game any more. Why can people just not be innocent. I mean everyone is in for personal gain or just to get their kicks.

One example - Someone I know i said Hi to the other day totally ignored me. This has happened again since and for some reason they can't even look at me. I don't know what I've done to deserve that but thanks for letting me know because I'm mentioning you on Facebook.

I think I might be a little paranoid as far as what people think. I wont go too much into this but i think i should probably twist it to something amusing. I mean... I've not said anything funny for ages on this blog.

In the old days I'd have blogged about people i work with and change the names. But 6 years ago nobody i knew had a blog other than Rich and facebook didn't exist. Now all this social networking has kicked off it's a different story. Anyway if this was the case i'd look at uni. I get on with most people at uni (I'd like to emphasise the word MOST... In fact I'd say all but one, Oh and there is one I wish I was getting on better with but hey it's cool as it is).

Putting this aside I think I may be coming across as too childish or maybe a little like I'm coming across as smart as I actually am. I ask a lot of silly questions anyway, sometimes im joking, sometimes im just curious, other times i do it for my own entertainment just to see what answer i get - and better the devil you know as to why i ask the question but the fact i have the courage to ask and not worried about looking stupid must be a good thing.

Yeah, might not know big words, or the Roman Empire. And I Don't know much about history, Don't know much biology, Don't know much about a science book, Don't know much about the french I took. But what i do know is that I might have ripped that from Sam Cook's song wonderful world but this is where i am smart - I might only know when the war happened because the BBC closed during it, and i'm smart enough to connect the dots when i need to, but ask me about radio and TV and i can go on forever.

Even though i know lots of stuff about radio though, feel like i should know more about things like history and big words.

Anyway i dunno how i got to writing this much, i was only gonna come on and say (In a Marvin the paranoid android manor) that i'm feeling rather drained, tired, depressed and suffering from this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.

I just can't be bothered to do the work i should be doing right now. I think I'll record my sound effects in the morning, go to bed early and have a chirpy start to the day. I also have to prep for the new show on Wednesday and think of funny things

I'm in Yorkshire this weekend, so you crazy cats that i don't have - keep an eye out for me.

Oh and would like to say thankyou for reading :). I've gone on a bit eh? Blablabla!

Bloglette

2012-02-05T23:21:00.001Z

I thought i would have a little update. Just been in Swindon the last few days. I bought a kick scooter. It's not a toy, it says that on the box. I thought i was in the mood for updating but i think i changed my mind. i'll do a proper one when im not so meh i think.

Last Night at The Frog And Fiddle

2012-02-02T12:43:00.000Z

So I was up at the Frog and Fiddle pub last night doing my first show on Wednesday. It was mega weird because it wasn't until Monday that I found out I was on-air from the pub.

Starting off the day I went to uni about 12:15. In fact i was supposed to be there at 12:15 so arrived half an hour late. I'd been trying to make a little feature thing for class and kinda left it to the last minute. I got there in the end and it got played. It got lots of laughs :P but I'm not sure whether that's because it was actually funny or whether the quality was so messed up, but i think it was pretty good. There was a lot of things people didn't notice like how hard it must have been to edit the background noise in a pub with huge acoustics and music from their system.

Anyway I had some business to attend to. At this point I would like to say that I have been advised to no longer mention my court case by my solicitor so... uh yeah. And then had some fun with Robin and Jelmer having a drink and playing on pool/video game in the Uni bar.

Jelmer left and i got Robin and I another drink, and Robin wanted so relax before he had to go to the debate thing he does and I wasn't sure what was going to happen but I thought a bit of Dutch courage would help. Jelmer wasn't around so I thought we could have a few drinks so i got some shots.

Someone behind me said "You're starting early" (It was about 5pm) so I said "Yeah, I'm getting ready for later" and took the shots back to Robin along with his pint. Jelmer showed up and Robin only wanted 1 shot so we all gulped them up and had some more chats about stuff.

Anyway it was frog time so after we all disbanded I left to get home, shower and get out again. I got there about 8-ish and had abnout 4 double JDs and pepsi. Thing is this alcohol doesn't seem to have an effect any more but just made things a tad easier as far as socialising would go - So i didn't go all quiet like normal - and I had to interview people so figured that just enough would loosen me up a bit. I'm rubbish at interviews anyway. I started a little early. The first act - i couldn't remember the name. This wasn't because of alcohol, I have a form of Dyslexia which means if I don't write the name down or keep it in my head over and over i forget. The guys name was Alex - Alex... uhhh... well this was the problem. It was something like Mohogany. I could not pronounce his last name for the life of me no matter what i tried. So instead i brought this up in the interview and my co-hosts were not speaking at this point.. Until I asked co presenter (Alex Jones) if he had questions - I went blank with questions.

The second interview went even more disastrous... guess who I was interviewing **flashback** "You're starting early". Back to planet earth - DARN IT! and he even mentioned it on air - my alcohol consumption for the day! Thanks!. It was all good fun though. Anyway we had a power failature half way through the interview because Jack (The guy in charge of technical stuff for the say tripped on a power lead. Anyway we came back on air and finished the interview which i thought was pretty funny from everyone and then it finished up.

Anyway i will try and do another update later as im off to catch a train to Swindon. Laters yoooooooooo

Dreams up in my head

2012-01-31T08:00:00.001Z

I'm having one of them stages where I'm having lots of dreams. I think it would be cool to note some of them down. Maybe some of you dream experts will learn something.

The bits that stand out are:

Dream 1
I bump into a pair of old enemys. They carry a flick knife which they pull out. They threaten me with it but because they are so cocky they decide to perform tricks in their mouth with it. I grab it from his mouth and accidentally nick the inside. I walk to my house and they follow me asking for their knife back. they go round the back of the house and get in because its unlocked and i physically throw one out. Another comes in and says "I wonder what bens doing" (Ben my brother) and as he walks up the stairs i pull him down and have a shouting fit at him. I pick him ip and throw him into his friend. I woke up at this point. Wasn't enjoying that dream.

Dream 2
I meet a Japanese girl. She helps me as i babysit my friends children and also Ruby is living with me. I dont think she is supposed to be perminant but seems to grow on me. She sweats a lot though. When she wakes me up in the morning she takes me to her room and her blankets, quilt covers and everything is wet and shes complaining why something is not working - Its because it's wet. But i help her out and she smiles a lot. Paula pays is for babysitting, my part is discounted though because something i owed her for

It's a shame that in my dream that Paula still finds a way of discounting me even in my dreams.

Anyway i'd better get up i suppose.

An update before i feel all meh

2012-01-30T22:02:00.003Z

That song has no relevence like the others by the way. Just not heard it for a while. Where is glamma Kid Nowadays?

I feel old at uni when they have history lessons. I feel as old as the subject we're talking about because i know when the BBC was launched, and who the boss was and when it changed from "Company" to "Corporation" I know i wasn't there at the time but Just that i know it off by heart is a bit of a sign that i'm a bit older. I remember what happened when princess Dianna died - What was on the Telly and on Radio 1. The good bit is when Chris Moyles talks about The Flumps i know what he means... unlike most of his target audience. I mentioned The Flumps in class twice the second time today and nobody still knows what it was.

I want cake. Oh wait i have some i think.

Ok i have some cake now. Angel cake. If i had an angel here right now i think i would just talk to her. She might like the company and want to talk to a regular guy. I'm not sure why i think she might be a she. Maybe i do have an angel and she is a she and i'm getting that vibe. I've always said that when i'm upset i feel like this girl is there shouting at the person saying "Leave my friend alone!". This is not weird by the way. It's a little story i made up when i was depressed in 2009 and whenever i get upset about something because

Anyway I just heard some news that's a bit sad. When i was a kid i used to have this friend called Tommy - He was an old guy, i think i went over for haloween once and gave me sweets and since then he'd kind of spurred me on a little bit in live and always told me to look after my dad. When i was 6 he lived on the end of the road with his wife (Who i never knew the name of) and i remember going over to see him every so often. I remembered he was friendly and Scottish and my dad is a fan of Scotland in general so they were instant friends. Anyway i didn't really know him much as a person but he's kinda just one of those people you get used to seeing and sometimes the littlest of people in life are the ones you have the fondest memories of. It happens i guess but it is a Shame. I know his Grandson Luke who i worked with at the radio. But yeah, its a little sad.

In good news, my sister is having a baby girl. Due out in June :). I won't be buying the album because there isn't one.

I think it's time for a sleep now.

Oh just so you know. Glamma Kid had a song out last year called Fly away. I don't like it.

My dad is German now

2012-01-29T20:14:00.001Z

My dad has changed to German. He's moving there now to be a Autoerbauer in a Fabrik with Lasten der Leute or something.

He currently stands at the airport "Waiting for lift off" according to his facebook status.

Digging and Digging

2012-01-29T18:58:00.001Z

So i'm back now, and thats another 2 things ticked off my list.

Do the radio show - TICK
Do my Tax Return - TICK

The tax return was one of them things i was putting off till the last minute. I have some Uni work that needs doing now. But thats another "I'd like to put you off, but if I do I will be a little stuffed". My sleepy tiredness is getting in the way again. Last night I actually had a decent sleep and really not sure why I'm tired again!

I am going to put this question out to you and if you get this then let me know... atleast it means someone knows what I mean. I told one of my friends quite a lot of stuff about me, because I think they would understand why i acted certain ways. Thing is i feel like along the way i said something that would perceive me as not the way I am. It kinda got me worried what they thought of me and I ended up telling this very long story that I only tell my very close friends - In the hope they would get it and i would repair. But I think it made things worse. And now i feel like that because of that story which was supposed to explain why i am like i am i think i just sound like a freak and it made me even more worried! GAH!

Now so far they have done like they said so i have no need to doubt them. But I do... Even though i trust they are ok with me i still feel like they arn't. And i'm thinking "well... am i going to be like this no matter what they say?". And also im in the position where i would really like to talk to them and carry on as normal but they need space at the moment. So yeah. Confusion. Thats what happens when you dig holes. You try and get yourself out of it but you keep digging!

Also... Don't you hate it when you see someone you know in the street and you say "hi" and they just look back as in to say "I don't know you" or just ignore you? A polite "Hello" or a smile or a nod would have been fine instead of the usual grump face this person gives me as in to say "Fuck you". I have no idea why they even grump faced at me in the first place. I try and start a convo and i get ignored. WTF! The least they could say is why the hell they are doing it. I think on this situation i'm not the one with the problem.

Anyway Its out of my system now! - As far as my hole... i think i'll jump in now! Or i might just Jump in the bed hole.

My Radio Shows

2012-01-29T08:33:00.000Z

Hey. Just in case you forgot or didn't know, i do 2 Radio shows on student Radio station 'Tone Radio'. I'm on for 'In the dark' which is on Sundays from Midday (Today!, UK time) which is a totally improvised show with my University colleagues Eobin Smith and Jelmer Lelieveld. It's weird, Random but I'm told really runny. I hope you have as much fun listening to it as we do doing it. Also you can listen to my own show on Tone Radio every Wednesday from 10pm starting next week. I've not figured what i'm doing totally yet though. Put the times in your phone and tell your friends! If you're not listening i will know! Tune in to tone by going to www.toneradiolive.co.uk

Land of Cake Belief

2012-01-28T18:38:00.000Z

Yum yum. I like cake, because it prevented me waking up feeling like a dirty dribbling slimy wet slug. I think I ate like 6 Almond fingers while drinking my conception before I fell asleep. Rich on the other hand finished the Southern Comfort and woke up with Tumble dryer Tummy and chundered once the relevant liquids clashed with the relevant areas of his head.

The only thing with me is i am quite tired again because my stupid body seems to have set its sleeping time to happen at 8pm.

I lost a tenner. This was before we even started drinking, which is annoying. I could have used that for something good.

Anyway i may go to sleep now to re-charge so i shall maybe post again later or something.

Drinky Post

2012-01-28T02:04:00.002Z

So i finished the show today which was OK i guess. i wasn't really in the mood for a show today but thought i should do the last one on a friday before switching to Wednesdays at 10pm.

I had Rich up from Swindon to join in and Jelmer from our show on Snday also joined in today. We went to the SU bar after and had a nice little drinky.

On another note my silly sleep has been trying to take over since 8pm but managed to stay awake through the time Rich and i had for the second time today at the frog and fiddle.

My housemate Luca questioned me when i was watching the Ned Ryerson Clip off Groundhog day and listening to Radio 4 extra being discribed as sounding like a strange porn film.

So now after the frog and fiddle having us drink various potent liquids for the second time today and drinking this mysterious 44% alcomohol in a small bottle, im managing to cling to sanity :) Now... Why have i got cassetes? Bye bye yadadadadadada

Uni jobs

2012-01-24T16:20:00.001Z

By the way... changing the subject a tincy bit. I went for a Job last week as a residential assistant... I totally failed it. Oh well.

Darn it... The story of my life continies

2012-01-24T14:54:00.001Z

Ok... so i said i wouldn't let things get to me and they did :/ I is my own worst enemy. But i shall move on quickly from this post and some good advice for myself and everyone reading this. You know that person you like? don't bother with it. It's a waste of time and nothing happens. Those connections you made up in your head... yeah they were totally wrong. It happened before and it will happen again. And to be honest you've probably turned something really good down but there you go. Stupid me. Tomorrow is another day... to make more mistakes.

It's Three-ay-ee-ay-em, Three-ay-ee-ay-em...

2012-01-24T04:12:00.002Z

So it's 3am and I'm having sleep fun so I thought I should evacuate the wordy brainal gloop that has accumulated lately. Which to be fair isn't much. Not sure why really. But the main point is that i have woken up due to:

o - Waking up and being so dizzy i couldn't return straight away
o - Burning my foot on the radiator while sleeping
o - Tending to my arm that lost functionality during sleep and reviving it
o - Hearing something on radio 4 extra that grabbed my attention and made me follow it

Was in my CRM lesson earlier... i don't remember what the hell that was all about :| . Actually worried I'll get kicked out for not understanding things straight away.

On the other scale in RAP 103 which is about radio in text and context i think i get that too well to the point where because I've been so vocal through the whole thing, when i shut my mouth for once and nobody answers I get a brief look look from the lecturer - which I think may be the sign of "Well johnny surely you're going to answer this" and i don't say anything. Plus i may actually not know everything - which is the reason I'm there really. I think half the time I'm wrong anyway which I'd like to be really. The annoying bit is when I have a bobble of an idea so I mention it but I don't give the proper description that is in my head, and then the lecturer spouts a word that sums up what I'm thinking.

I think there is a few other things I need to do... but I wasn't in last week so have no idea what should be happening. We've been having show ideas on how to get more listeners on in the dark on Tone Radio. We've all got some ideas we might carry out so stay updated about that. My Tone show time is changing to late night Wednesday which i think suits me just fine. My original wanted time was taken but 10pm means i can have more fun.

Anyway the 3am title of this does not count now by about 15 minutes - i started it at 3:45 anyway but thought it would sound cool so i'd better be off to try and gain some sleep back.

rant stashion

2012-01-17T07:00:00.001Z

haha ok i was checking out the key words of who has been looking at the blog and there is only one person i know who spells station as "stashion" haha

I done It

2012-01-17T06:40:00.001Z

I completed my reports/essays. I'm pretty sure I've not done so great on them. It's all about the problem with Genres and a report on the Genre of my choice. It's done now anyway. Just need some ink.

So I've stopped mentioning certain things on here... but now i need to do it from life. Stop letting things get to me! Partial reason I've not been sleeping is because of the stupid things keeping me up. Stupid Ex friends, Deleted, Uni work - I should just do it when i get it instead of hoping it will go away. Focus on people who really show me that they are there for me whether they are friends or more. I get so stupid over things and that's only because of other things in my life.

I do think I'll be alone forever relationship wise though, which is always a downer because i don't want to be by myself any more, but i also don't think that just anyone will do. or just anyone who wants to do the relationship thing because i'll do, or they have nothing better going on.

Maybe i should just forget the whole concept of that and shut my feelings in a box. So me along with everyone else in the world are dancing spoons that bobble around talking in jargon to eachother. All with drawn on smiles our faces and unable to shatter the breakable inner box so daily spoon life is always happy with darling rainbows every day. Scribbled happy faces greet you as you wake up every day with meaningful phrases like "You will be alright" and remembering this fixes every problem that life throws at you. I'm not sure how the person with the positive support on the wall knows all this but they are always right - as long as i keep it in mind.

More Deletes

Well this is a blog with a break from the norm. Hopefully i'll try and detract attention to it over the next few days by writing something funny.

Maybe i shouldnt have written oh here tonignt. Oh the life of a creative is such fun because you can say anything on a blog with a monents tiredness whether its just an ironic and cynical joke not and people just have to go with you when you say it's a joke. Which it is obviously. The only down side about positivity is that there is always something that can bring you down i guess.

I have uni in over an hour... maybe i should try and sleep!

Laters yoooo :P

The worst week made good

2012-01-12T22:56:00.002Z

Before you read... i wrote this at 6am when i was in Yorkshire and was way tired so without editing it which i wont... i may have expressed myself without barriers.

-----
So its the first blog update since the start 2012 and a lot has happened so let's crack on.

Last week I found out that I was I have been asked to take what was here down. This involved my proper friendship end with Dave, which was inevitable eventually. It took Hayley for me to see the light really. I'm not going to go into why but let's just say someone has been naughty and someone asked for some advice from me, They could either take it or leave it. They left it dispite several warnings from others. I didn't want to be involved in the first place and I was dragged in by Dave and I was accused of lying so yeah I couldn't stay quiet any more.

I didn;t get any work done while I was away. I still have 1000 words to write so after ive uploaded this i'll be on it... so don't disturb me! I have other work that needs doing right after also so thats mega important too. I might have to change uni to make things less expensive for my second year. Maybe Yorkshire or somewhere near may be an easier option. My finance at the moment isnt worrying me too much, providing the right people get paid and I dont go mental on it.

So with everything and travel times it's effected my sleep. I went through 3 days with 5 hours sleep – Not advisable. It was at the point where alcohol had no effect and I was jibbering about things that had no relevance in life. And when I did wake up I was a jelly till I had breakfast. Went with Tom and had a few drinks to places and looked at what they were doing in Bradford so yeah was a good week.

Although the highlight was getting the things with Ruby planned and sorted, I dont think I could have done it without Hayley. I know first without her helping i'd have no food or stuff or be able to travel. Secondly I think I would be really depressed. But she kept my spirits high and which really means a lot. She met Tom and had a little drink before she had to scoot off and get her son. We spent yesterday shopping because she needed a few things, and she got me a box of sweets from the Haribo shop (I Know... a shop just with haribo in) and told me it was to concentrate on my studys. She knows sweets help.

It's weird what she does know actually. Im sure half the time i've not said and it's what i've put on this blog (BTW if your wondering why I am writing this blog instead of uni work its because i'm writing this on a bed at Castle bobskull, West Yorkshire with no internet or recorces to do my report). I guess when you look back in the past you never know that the person you saw like 3 times would become an important and caring person enough to do something like this. I think that's what she's became because I know she's doing what best for Ruby, but she's also thinking about me and I think she know's i'd have probably been really down. I really dont know how to thank her enough for everything she's done :') . I've never had anybody do something like that. I'm going to stop telling you how amazing she is before I reveal too much. I'm tired and vulnerable.

Anyway I'm supposed to be catching a train at 9 or 10 but I might try and get a little more sleep before I go. Anywayle thats it. Go away. :P

Boxing day at 2:46 am

2011-12-26T01:46:00.004Z

So... Just spent Christmas day at my dad's and was hoping to get a podcast out but not had chance to do it yet (See the below word "worried"). Not gonna lie, actually feeling rather lonely. Nobody seems talkative any more. Oh well poor me and all that. I'm on my 6th Kopperberg (Strawberry and lime one) as i have a thing for them at the moment.

I've been going to bed at 5am lately and been a bit worried about how long its gonna take me to do all this work for uni. Mainly reading because it takes me forever to understand it - I got my report back from the dyslexia thing and the reason it takes me forever to read is down to reading comprehension which means I need to use my own way to understand what I'm reading better. Also i need to be tired enough to sleep on the sofa, so I've been waking up about 12-ish. Sorry par!

Not sure what's happening for new year. Seeing as i'm skint i might just go back to Cheltenham, offer some friends round and stuff. If not I've had some offers which i'd really like to take up but i need cash (See the above word "Skint").

The juicy bit... I didn't get so much for Christmas but happy with what i did get. A big JD Picture, some Jelly Cola Bottles, Muppets in Space DVD. That's it so i'm gonna get myself some stuff I think.

Anyway I suppose i should go to sleep. Feeling kinda hungry after this alcohol though.

Its really... yeah

2011-12-24T12:02:00.004Z

Having a christmas back in Swindon - And that's all I'll say about that. But I'll be at my mum's later today for Christmas eve dinner. I've been watching some youtube videos, so have a lovely listen to these. They are from December - various years, so these were in the charts when we were all celebrating Christmas Hope they make you smile :D

Just an odd thought before hand though. If the Duke of Edinborough dies on christmas day or New Year... does the nation go into morning dispite christ's birth or the celebrations of a new year? Which one is more important?

I have informed the cat his sentence. "Sammy your mouth smells inside".

Working on podcast as we speak. Expected release date on Christmas Day bot don't quote me on that

Here is the videosss :D. Merry Christmas.

I'd rather be in the Hulk's gang

Yes, the week.

2011-12-16T02:45:00.002Z

So just a quick one to say things before bed time. A few hours ago i managed to hand in an assignment to deadline. And i also got another back where i got a 2.1 which to be fair im happy with. first uni assignment which i guess was good. I think i'm less stressed out now.

I was getting a bit worried about uni with assignments because i realised i was taking longer than others to get work done but apparently it's a form of Dyslexia... so now i know how to handle that - i have to start earlier. Yeah... great lol.

Apparently i can't cram and taking notes is hard so i cant leave it til thw last day because i'll be late. So if i'd had support in college when all my work was late in then i would have been better with college but cant blame them. So yeah. this blogs hardly read anyway

Bed Time

Note to self :P

2011-12-15T13:11:00.001Z

Note to self

I am my own worst enemy. Especually when it comes to keeping friends or getting too :S about stuff.

End