Rantings of a Mouthy Bitch

I'm Moving Guys!!

2015-03-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

So, I will soon be moving all of my work and quite probably shutting down this website. I have put a lot of thought into this and have decided that I would like to have a more "professional" blog/place for my best (in my opinion) works. Thank you for being patient with me (again, I know) and I look forward to seeing some of you (I really don't expect anyone to follow when I go) after the move.

**I will try to keep this blog updated on the move as much as possible. Once I have the new place set-up I will share the URL here with all of you.**

And......I'm Back With: An Installment of "What The Hell"

2013-05-14T19:36:00.002-07:00

I have been on sort of a hiatus for awhile now but I cannot be away any longer. Late last night (early this morning?? LoL) I wrote this update over in The Personals, about how busy--and exciting!!--my life has been since the new year has begun. Today, while perusing the news sites, I stumbled upon a list of articles that made me stop and say, "What the hell is wrong with people??!!" Interestingly enough, they are all from the eastern side of the United States......Not sure if that is strictly coincidence or if more weirdos live there than here on the western side....

This is why I have come back to you. I just need to share with all of you the things that make me go, "What the hell??!!" and here they are:

5. Whatever happened to just picking them back off???

A sandwich shop employee was punched in the face for "putting too many pickles" on a customer's sandwich.....Let that sink in for just a minute. Yes, this really happened.

I can sympathize....I hate pickles too.

On Saturday, Tina Drouin stopped to get a steak and cheese sandwich from Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs at the Quincy train station in Massachusetts. While there, the forty-nine year old woman apparently became quite aggitated when the sandwich maker began putting "too many pickles" on her sandwich. Drouin is said to have screamed at the worker about the ratio of things on the sandwich, cursing and using derrogatory comments, until she finally demanded a refund.

Upon being told she wasn't going to be given a refund, she promptly punched the sandwich maker in the face, pushed "two large very heavy jars filled with pickles and pickle juice" towards the employee (knocking her to the ground, as well as, shattering all over the floor), and then proceeded to attempt to flee.

WHAT. THE. HELL...Seriously??

I want to know what was going on in this woman's head when she decided that punching the person making her sandwich was the best solution to the fact that she felt there were too many pickles on it AND the fact she wouldn't be getting the refund she was demanding for this supposed violation. She couldn't have possibly thought that was going to get her what she wanted. If she did, she wouldn't have ran away...

The sandwich maker, determined for some justice it would seem, ran after the woman who had assaulted her. Once she caught up to her attacker she managed to subdue her and "held her until police arrived." I'd say that was probably the most eventful day that employee has ever had!!

4. This puts a whole new meaning to the term "bible thumper"...

In Kings Mountain, North Carolina a woman is being held on $105,000 bond after being charged with two counts of assault and one count of burglary. The weapon she is accused of weilding in the attack (on at least one of the two victims)? A bible.

Bible thumpin' taken to a whole new level....

Yep. Evelyn Mills Moore, 57 years old, assaulted a woman with her fists and a bible causing bruising to the victim's head, face and arms.

WHAT. THE. HELL?? Who does things like this? I am a little curious to know what the cause of this fight was to begin with....Seriously though. What prompts a person to start beating someone with a bible? Was it something she was already holding or perhaps the closest thing at hand, making it a weapon of opportunity? Was this a random argument or was it a religious debate turned violent? I, sadly, have no idea but, as someone who is not religious, this whole thing cracks me up! Isn't the irony just hilarious??!!

Wait!! She didn't just stop with attacking this woman with a bible. Mills Moore is also accused of "inflicting serious injury after striking a man with her fist causing numerous abrasions on his head, face and arms and a knot near his right eye," according to arrest warrants. No word on if this man was also struck with said bible...

3. On the flip side of that story, we have this:

A 23 year old Georgia woman was arrested for STEALING a bible from Barnes & Noble. She was charged with a misdemeanor and let go after posting the $1000 bond.

Who steals bibles from bookstores??!! Any church will give you one for FREE, all you have to do is ask. This pastor even confirmed this for the rest of the world when he stated:

"We believe that God’s word should be given freely, and so if someone comes in to our campus and they don’t have God’s word, then we are very happy to give them a copy of God’s word." ~~Mark Scardino, Roswell Street Baptist Church Pastor

Doesn't the bible preach that stealing is a sin? I'm sure I read that somewhere in there (a very long time ago). If Ashley Fleming wasn't aware of this beforehand, she certainly is now. And I can bet that she is feeling pretty dumb right about now...

2. Where are the chicken wings??!!

Last month in Memphis, Tennessee two men were arrested for brandishing an AK-47 style gun at the drive-thru window of a chicken restaurant because the establishment reportedly didn't give them their entire order.

Don't you forget my wings!!

According to authorities, Antonius Hart Sr. and his son, Antonius Hart Jr. went to Pirtle's Chicken and placed an order to go. The pair then proceeded to drive off before realizing that they hadn't gotten the chicken wings they ordered. The duo then drove back to the establishment and brandished a weapon on the cashier who messed up their order.

Hold up!! WHAT. THE. HELL!!

Who brandishes an automatic weapon--bought specifically for this occasion, no less--just because the restaurant forgot part of your order?? This is another case where I'd love to know the thought process behind these actions...especially since the establishment was more than willing to accomodate the customer by providing the forgotten food, since they realized their own mistake. This, however, was just not good enough for the father/son duo and once their demands for more food--as compensation for having to drive back to the restaurant--were 'shot down' (pun intended LoL) they brandished their weapon...Which prompted employees to call the cops instead of complying with demands.

Police responded to the call for help and arrested both men on the scene. The weapon and 24 live rounds of ammunition were also confiscated from their vehicle.

~~~***Violence and threats of violence WILL NOT win you friends or get you what you want out of life without there being serious consequences...Let's think about this people***~~~

1. Prostitution Ring Bust......at a Senior Citizen Home???!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON THESE DAYS??!! This is no joke--though it is a hilarious thing to laugh at I suppose.

Prompted by complaints from residents, an undercover investigation and police surveillance discovered a drug and prostitution ring at a senior citizen housing complex in New Jersey.

Two residents--James Parham, 75, and Cheryl Chaney, 66--have been arrested for allegedly, "running a prostitution ring out of their apartments, using cocaine, and ultimately causing drunks and drug addicts to bother others living in the building, pass out in the halls, and leave used condoms in the rec room." A third, unnamed 54 year old suspect has also been arrested on drug charges.

Parham freely admits that he brandished crack-addicted prositutes to the younger residents of the complex though it is unclear what role Chaney played in this scheme. It is also unclear how long these things had been going on in this complex but police stated that, "many [residents] were scared to leave their apartments."

Of course they were!! I am in my mid-twenties and even I would be afraid to leave my apartment if this were a regular thing in the hallways and apartments surrounding mine.

I am not truly surprised by any of these accounts, however. I have, very sadly, come across even crazier things than these. Today, though, these are the ones that really caught my attention and so I had to share. These things really do make me sit back and wonder aloud what the hell is wrong with people....And then I rememeber....People are dumb.

The Elephant in the Room: Suicide (Part 8 of 8)

2012-09-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

September 9 through September 15, 2012
Suicide Prevention Awareness Week

Every year since 1974 ('75?), the nation has come together in a week-long campaign to help promote Suicide Prevention Awareness. All sorts of events are held all over our country, in the hopes that the information received there will help keep even just one person from committing suicide. The idea is to draw attention to suicide prevention, suicide warning signs, reduce stigma surrounding the topic of suicide (so that more prevention happens), encourage those who need it to seek mental health assistance, and to support those who have attempted suicide, as well as those who have lost someone to suicide.

Walks are organized, screenings are done, information is handed out, and memorials are held for those who have been lost. Fundraisers collect money for research for mental health issues, and for existing suicide prevention outlets. All of this helps coincide with what is known as World Suicide Prevention Day, which is held annually on the 10^th of September. As the name would imply, this is the day that suicide prevention is recognized all over the world.

For my small part in helping promote and spread awareness, I am posting one blog post every day this week—Suicide Prevention Awareness Week—in the hope that even one person may be saved. I have experienced loss to suicide myself (some time ago now) and find this to be a therapeutic way for me to deal with that grief.

I intend to give you as much information as I can on suicide but I also strongly encourage you to take the time to read the personal stories attached within all the facts. These are real people, with real stories that I have collected, just for this occasion. They wanted to let anyone who reads their stories to know that they are not alone in whatever they are going through. There is hope and there is help.

Thank you for stopping by to check this out. Suicide is preventable. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to spread the word, so pass this along as you see fit to. Here’s to hoping we can help save some lives.

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This is going to be the last installment of my suicide awareness series. I hope that everyone has benefited from reading everything so far.

Today, I will share some resources for anyone who is thinking of attempting suicide and for anyone who has lost someone to suicide. This is by no means a complete comprehensive list, but I hope that it is at least a place to start.

In the next few weeks, I will be adding a more complete resources page to my blog. I want a place where the information below is readily available for anyone to find and utilize, so keep a lookout for it.

Remember, suicide is 100% preventable. Sometimes, all it takes is to talk to someone who will listen. You are NOT alone and you ARE loved. If anyone tells you differently, they are WRONG.

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If you are currently experiencing suicidal thoughts and/or behaviors, here are some resources for you to try:

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Press 2 for SPANISH
1-800-799-4TTY (4889) for hearing and speech impaired individuals seeking help

Youth America Hotline

1-877-YOUTHLINE (986-8454)

The Trevor Project

866-4UTREVOR (488-7386)
"The Trevor Project is the leading national
organization providing crisis intervention and
suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay,
bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth."

Veterans Crisis Line

1-800-273-TALK (8255) PRESS 1
TEXT 838255
Confidential Online Veterans Chat

Vet2Vet: Veterans Crisis Hotline

1-877-VET2VET (838-2838)

Boys Town National Hotline

1-800-448-3000

S.A.F.E. Alternatives

800-DONTCUT (366-8288)

National Graduate Student Crisis Line

1-800-GRADHLP (472-3457)

Northwest Human Services: Crisis and Information Hotline

800-560-5535 (toll free)
503-581-5535
503-588-5833 (TTY)

I'm Alive: An Online Crisis Network

Military OneSource
1-800-342-9647

Live Chat with Trained Individuals

Teen 2 Teen Hotline

714-NEW-TEEN (639-8336)
Call between 5pm and 9pm

Crisis Chat: Online Emotional Support
GLBT National Help Center

1-888-THE-GLNH (843-4564)
1-800-246-7743 (Youth Talkline)

Monday thru Friday from 1pm to 9pm, pacific time
(Monday thru Friday from 4pm to midnight, eastern time)
Saturday from 9am to 2pm, pacific time
(Saturday from noon to 5pm, eastern time)

State/Local Call Center numbers can be found here.

Tillamook County Crisis Number:

Tillamook Family Counseling Center: 503-842-8201

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You may need to view this video in fullscreen mode to read all of the cards...

This is Hannah Novak and this is what she has to say to you about suicide. Please watch all the way through to the end. Thank you for sharing this with the world Hannah! Your message is honest and inspiring :) You are a wonderful girl.

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If you have lost someone to suicide, or know someone who has, you can use any or all of the above hotlines and chat lines for immediate information, help, and support. There are trained individuals to help you understand and manage your grief on the other end of these support lines. Please, use them.

Here are some additional resources that you can use to help you deal with your loss:

Simply click on one of the above mentioned organizations and you should be directed straight to each of the resource pages. Many of these resource pages have websites listed to visit, links to online support groups, information about suicide and grief, and even book listings to take a look at. Take a few minutes to look around each of these resources and find the best ones for your needs.

Always remember: If you are in immediate danger, or know someone who is, call 911 (or any other local emergency contact number) and/or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

I hope this has helped in some way.
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A Year Ago...

1/31/04

For: Hanse Joshua Peterson

3/27/87 to 2/4/03

Sick and twisted thoughts stir in my mind

Guilt of the tragedy is all that's left behind

Memories of who he was are fading fast

How long is this pain inside going to last?

Four days from now it will have been a year

The loss of someone close is what I fear

What did he think when he breathed his last breath?

Was he scared when he knowingly embraced his own death?

Suicide Action Montreal
514-723-4000
24 hours; 7 days a week

A year ago we were all doing just fine

Then the world fell apart, including mine

I told myself that it couldn't be true

So lost and confused, I didn't know what to do

Wandering alone in the dark I couldn't see

My pain was so great and I blamed me

A year ago not many people knew who he was

If he walked to school or rode the bus

Did he have many friends or was he a loner?

Was he a goody-goody or was he a stoner?

Did he laugh much or did he ever cry?

No one gave a damn until he died!

A year ago nobody cared to ask questions

To give him advice or make small suggestions

They laughed at him and they called him names

They all fucked him up with their mind games

Now some sit outside and enjoy the rain

Some hide away and swallow their pain

I live my life and hide my pain away

I lost a good friend a year ago today

Rochelle Callahan

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If you live in the Tillamook area, there is an Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) workshop that you can attend. According to the information ad in our local newspaper:

"Asist is a comprehensive suicide intervention training. ASIST is the result of more than 20 years of research and development, and is the most widely used suicide intervention program in the world. ASIST is partially funded through a federal grant targeting suicide prevention alternative.

By the end of the workshop you will know:

The signs of suicidal thinking

How to intervene to prevent immediate risk of suicide

The resources available in your area"

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Acknowledgments/Thanks:

This has been a big personal project for me. While the initial idea for an informational post-a-day for suicide prevention awareness week was indeed mine, I do have to admit that the idea to incorporate personal stories into each post, was not mine alone. I have to give that credit to Lisa Richards.

In my initial research for current information on suicide facts and statistics, I came across her website and read her homepage, which explains what her book is about. Richards lost her eighteen year old daughter to suicide in 2011 and began collecting letters from all of Mallory’s family and friends. Each page in the book is filled with love and loss…laughter and heartbreak. I found this to be incredibly touching and couldn’t shake a serious case of the goosebumps.

Due to the intense reaction I felt to just reading the homepage of her website, the idea that incorporating personal stories into my posts was born. I hoped that someone reading my posts would be as deeply affected by the personal stories shared there as I was by this loving gesture. So, a great big thank you to Lisa Richards. You are an inspiring and strong woman.

On that note, I wish to thank the wonderful guest bloggers that gave me the pleasure of showcasing their spectacular writing skills, as well as, their very real and personal experiences with suicide. I really feel honored to share their stories with all of you in the hopes that it will help spread awareness. They are wonderfully strong women who are, I believe at least, fabulous writers. If you haven’t already checked out their blogs, you should head on over and do so now! Just the Messenger. and Diary of a Madwoman, thank you again so very much!!

And last, but certainly not least, I want to thank all of my terrific family and friends who also helped me with this important project by sharing their own stories and experiences. I feel like a great weight of my posts couldn’t have been possible without your help and input. I can never thank you enough for allowing me this privilege.

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"Ok, so my story... not really sure what to include so I'll do pretty much everything.

I have a family history of mental illness, my mom is majorly depressed, anxiety, PTSD, etc. My father is bipolar, psycho, rage. My father was an abusive asshole to my mom—actually I was a rape baby while she was on birth control. He threatened to kill her if she aborted me. So, after I was born she fled away from him with my aunt to Washington state. Somehow, he always kept finding her and beating the shit out of her. That is until my 5th birthday. She figured out that he was able to pay the post office $1 and if he knew the old address, [he could] get the new address. So, she fixed that and we finally got away from him. Unfortunately, for me, I was out of a physically abusive situation and into a mentally and emotionally abusive one.

I am bipolar, anxiety, mania, psychosis, schizoaffective... and a very high IQ. My mom didn't know how to handle me, so we always fought. She didn't mean to, but she always ended up trying to stifle me. She was a single parent working 2-3 jobs. As I got older, things only got worse. It turned physically abusive as well. I finally crossed the line in middle school, and I threatened the school cop, and was sent to Texas to live with my aunt, again.

This was quite possibly the worst experience of my life. They treated me like the redheaded stepchild. I was never included in anything. They treated me like a prisoner. Worse even. It was during this period that my depression worsened from [just] depression to suicidal ideations and self-mutilation. I had been slightly suicidal already since about 2nd grade. I used to hide in my closet with a butcher knife held to my heart just wishing for the courage to plunge it through my chest. In 3rd grade I was hospitalized after walking to school in the bike lane, since there were no sidewalks. They thought I was trying to kill myself. I wasn't at the time, and it only taught me how to manipulate the system. It didn't do anything to help me.

So in 7th grade when I went to Texas, I started cutting myself on a daily basis almost. I remember the first time I ever did it was on Thanksgiving in 1999. I had been there for about 6 months and I had found quickly that everything they had promised me was a lie. They claimed they treated me like their own child, but if I so much as blinked wrong I was in a living nightmare. Whereas their kids could disappear without any notice until 10ish at night and they [would] just blow it off. Then in 8th grade there was a choir concert and everyone was cheering for their friends. I had bad timing apparently and cheered for a split second after everyone had stopped. I stopped as soon as I realized this mind you, but they didn't believe it. So what was my punishment for such a heinous crime? I got to stay up all night on school nights for some 'quality time' with my drill sergeant uncle. He put me through military boot camp PT all night, let me get 2 hours of sleep, made me go to school like that, and do it all over again. For weeks.

Needless to say, this did nothing for my mental state. They had also withheld my Christmas gifts from me, but had filmed the whole thing for family and my mother to see, so they made me pretend to open my things and be happy. I wasn't. Then you take into account that I was molested by my older cousin a couple times. I had no desire to continue living. I got so deep into cutting myself that I made morbid little designs and decorations on my arms. I thought they were beautiful. I still do.

Cutting/self -mutilation is an addiction. I haven't done it on a regular basis since I was 19, but I still have the urge to do it every year or two. In fact just writing this is making me itch for it. It's such an amazing sense of relief from the stress and anxiety built up inside of you. It's more powerful than any drug in the world. I should know, I'm no stranger to them.

In 11th grade I tried to kill myself by swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills and was hospitalized again. This time I was prepared but they still managed to catch me off guard. They drugged me before I went to see the shrink and was high out of my mind. The first morning I woke up, granted the only morning I was there, the girl in the room with me and her friend asked me if I wanted to burn myself with salt and ice. No, I can't say that I do. There were about 3 people including myself who were there because they were genuinely depressed and suicidal. All the others, well, they were just behavior problems that their parents didn't want to deal with. Take my roommate for example, she was around 9-10 and her grandmother was her guardian. She was supposed to show up that day to visit, but she didn't. So the child started throwing a fit and trashing the place. Thankfully my mom was there to see it. I had told her the place was literally making me crazier but she didn't believe me. For some reason she had stuck around longer than expected and when she saw that girl she immediately checked me out. It was an incredibly unhealthy place.

I had always hated being on medication. I had been on 19 different meds between 6 and 11 years old. So, I was on anti-psych medications until I was 19. At which point, I realized I really needed help and decided I wanted to get somewhere in life. I wanted to be a psychiatrist and help other people in my situation. Unfortunately that wouldn't really happen. When I was 20, almost 21, I had surgery to remove my gallbladder and would discover that I'm terminally ill. I decided that I'd be a nurse then since it didn't take as long as psychiatry. That didn't work out either. The pain in my kidneys got to be too much for me to even go to school and lately to even function normally. Nursing was definitely out of the question.

It didn't seem fair that all the time I spent wanting to die on account of my depression, I would overcome it mostly just to find out it wasn't really any better. Nowadays, I'm still suicidal, but in a different way.

I'm terminally ill. I suffer on a daily basis in incredible pain and I'm on high enough doses of narcotics to kill a few people with one dose of my meds. Now I want to die to end my suffering. I believe in assisted suicide for the terminally ill. I feel we're more humane to our animals than we are our sick and dying.

I've recently come up with an idea for a charity/foundation to help people who are suicidal get help. I'm also focusing very heavily on cutting and self-mutilation needing addiction help. I've been lucky enough to be able to collaborate on it with Bert McCracken of The Used, my absolute favorite band.

I don't believe that my desire to die currently is wrong in any way. My pain will never end. Yours can. So please never give up and find help if you need it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm lucky enough to have a husband who takes care of me in light of all my problems. You'll get through it. I promise. It may not be incredibly soon, mine took most of my life, but it will get better." ~~Stephani Trioli~~

Thank you so much Steph :) I love you sweetheart, so much! I'm so excited for you for being able to collaborate with Bert for you project! And, I am proud of you for trying to help spread awareness as well. *Hugs and Kisses*
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If you need someone to talk to, please call the number above.
There is someone one the other end who WANTS to help you.
Suicide is NOT the answer.

The Elephant in the Room: Suicide (Part 7 of 8)

2012-09-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

September 9 through September 15, 2012
Suicide Prevention Awareness Week

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"After years of abuse of all kinds I had a pretty low self-esteem. Feelings of worthlessness and self-hatred led me into deep depression. The only thing I ever wanted was to be loved and not getting any led to thoughts of suicide. The only way I can describe the way it feels is that there is a big black hole inside of me. A void if you will. The longer I go without feeling loved the blacker it gets.

Finding someone to love me for me has been a life-long journey. There were a few times I thought I found it but as time goes on it turns out to be a fruitless effort. And I’m once again in darkness. Any disappointment or being spoken to in a certain way brings on the depression as well as the suicidal thoughts.

I have tried to kill myself too many times to count. It didn’t work cause I’m still here. Someone always intervened and kept me alive. The last time I tried I got locked up in the looney bin. I was thinking of doing it again when I found out that I was pregnant.

That baby saved my life and I’m still here today because of my three girls and now for my grandbaby." ~~Tanya

**I love you mom. I am more than happy to have (unknowingly) saved your life. Thank you for letting me share this with everyone.**

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Many people who commit suicide do so because they believe that no one will care if they are gone and they feel like there is no other way for them to end their pain and suffering. Both presumptions are wrong. If you are having suicidal thoughts or behaviors there are things that you can do--other than attempt/commit suicide.

If you are currently struggling with thoughts of suicide or suicidal behaviors, here is what you can do:

Talk with someone you trust about these things, ask for their help in seeking treatment
Talk with a counselor or therapist about these things
Sometimes, writing in a journal can be a healthy outlet for these thoughts and substitute for the behaviors
Call the local, national, and international (if it applies) hotlines dedicated to suicide prevention
Call 911 or any other emergency services number and inform the operator/dispatcher of your crisis
Stay away from ANYTHING that you can use to harm yourself
Check yourself into a local hospital
Go to the emergency room

If you are someone who thinks they have a loved one considering suicide, here is what you can do:

Assure the person that you are there for them to talk to and that you will help them in any way that you possibly can
Ask questions

"Are you okay?"
"Is there something you would like to, or need to, talk about?"
"Are you thinking of committing suicide?"

NEVER keep someone's plan of suicide a secret

Tell someone who can help the person seek proper treatment

DON'T try to minimize the person's problems
DON'T try to shame the person into changing their mind
Acknowledge their pain is legitimate and offer to work with them to seek help
Call 911 or any other emergency services number and inform the operator/dispatcher of the crisis
Call local, national, and/or international suicide prevention hotlines

Often times, people forget or fail to realize that the pain of losing someone is terribly burdensome. Many suicide survivors feel as if they are alone and have no one they can turn to. This in turn can lead to severe isolation and depression for survivors.

If you know someone who is a survivor, here is what you can do:

NEVER blame the survivor for the death of the victim

90% of suicides have underlying conditions such as clinical depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar illness, and schizophrenia.
Depression in not caused just by life events like losing a job, dissolution of a relationship, or feelings of rejection in general, but a chemical imbalance in the brain as well.

Express sympathy and empathy
Understand that the survivor may be experiencing a multitude of emotions

Shock
Rage/anger
Sadness/depression
Confusion
Relief

Remember that everyone grieves in their own ways and times
Ask questions

"Are you okay?"
"Do you want or need to talk?"

Really listen to the survivor and offer help and advice appropriately
Read books about suicide and grieving after suicide
Find out about suicide survivor grief/support groups in your community

Pass the information onto the survivor
Offer to go to meetings with the survivor
Go on your own

If you happen to be a suicide survivor yourself, here is what you can do:

Know that the emotions you are feeling, even suicidal ones, are normal. If you feel you are in immediate danger of suicidal acts call 911 immediately.
Know that it is okay to grieve.
Know that it is okay to be angry or fearful.
Know that it is okay to feel helpless and alone, these things are common.
Give yourself time to grieve. Healing is a time consuming process. Take as long as you need.
Keep asking yourself "why" until you no longer need to ask at all
Know that it is okay to laugh and cry
Delay making major life decisions immediately following the suicide death of a loved one
Be patient with yourself
Find out about suicide survivor grief/support groups in your community

Attend on your own
Attend with a friend or family member

Avoid people who tell you how to feel or what to do
Don't be afraid to seek professional help
Read books on suicide and grieving after suicide
Don't be afraid to talk to close friends and family

They may not talk about it freely in the mistaken thought that it may be too painful for you. Go ahead and initiate a conversation.

Realize that it is okay to go on with your life.

It doesn't mean you didn't love the person or that you don't miss them. It just means that you are slowly learning to live a little differently without them, one day at a time.

It means that you are living. You are surviving.

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Friend's Suicide

"There [were] two friends of mine [who] grew up together. They did everything together. If one tried out for sports the other one did too. There names were Jack and John. Their nicknames that I gave them were the Twin J's. The reason I called them that is because they liked anime. They collected books, comic books, toys, and shows of there favorite characters.

One day Jack's parents told him some bad news. That his father had colon cancer and that he only has a few months to live. His father and him were best friends so it really hurt him. Jack went in a deep depression. He pushed himself away from his friends including John. Some weeks later he started coming back. Four months later, he was getting back to normal. Then the tragady happened. His father died. Jack went off the deep end. It looked like he went into a coma. He didn't do anything. He just stayed in his room. We all went over to his house day after day to show him that we care about him and his situation.

One day while I was at work. I got a call from Jack's mom. She said that she got a call from the hospital saying Jack had been shot. I left work and met her at the hospital. I asked her what happened and she said no one had told her anything yet. A few minutes later the doctor came out and told her that her son had died. She dropped to the floor and started to cry.

I asked the doctor how he got shot. Just then, two cops walked up to us and explained that they pulled him over for speeding and as the cops were getting out of their car, Jack got out and pointed a gun at the cops. They warned Jack to drop the gun but he didn't and Jack loaded the gun. Jack shot once and the cops shot back. She got upset with the cops but the cops knew she was upset about her son being dead. The doctor handed a piece of paper to one of the cops that they found on Jack and then the cop handed it to Jack's mom. It stated:

I can't stay in this world any longer. I can't live without my father. So I'm going to kill myself. I don't know how or where. (Jack's Suicide Note)

So it seems that he used the cops for his suicide. It's called Suicide by Cop.

Jack's mom went into a deep depression and John was depressed too. I was a little depressed but I was worried about John and Jack's mom. So I pushed it aside. What I did was, I brought John over to Jack's mom's house and I talked to them, showed them that I loved them. I did that everyday. I also took care of them for a month and a half. They were coming around at that time. Jack's mom [then] decided to move in with her brother in Colorado and John moved with his parents because his father got a better job offer. I haven't seen them since.

My depression stayed [with me] but I had my other friends to help me through it." ~~Sam S.

**Sam, I love you buddy. I am glad that you made it through that tough time and that you had wonderful friends who could be there for you. Thank you for letting me share your story with everyone.**
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I want to thank everyone for letting me use their stories to help spread awareness to those in need. I know I have said something similar in every post thus far (and believe me, tomorrow's thanks section is a little long) but I really am appreciative of everyone's help with this project.

I also want to remind everyone that if you live in the Tillamook area, there is an Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) workshop that you can attend. According to the information ad in our local newspaper:

"Asist is a comprehensive suicide intervention training. ASIST is the result of more than 20 years of research and development, and is the most widely used suicide intervention program in the world. ASIST is partially funded through a federal grant targeting suicide prevention alternative.

By the end of the workshop you will know:

The signs of suicidal thinking

How to intervene to prevent immediate risk of suicide

The resources available in your area"

Tomorrow is the last segment in the series I have for Suicide Awareness Prevention Week. In it, you will find resources for those who are considering suicide and resources for those who are considered suicide survivors. I hope that you come back tomorrow and I hope that you will spread the information to someone who could use it.

If you need someone to talk to, please call the number above.
There is someone one the other end who WANTS to help you.
Suicide is NOT the answer.

The Elephant in the Room: Suicide (Part 6 of 8)

2012-09-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

September 9 through September 15, 2012
Suicide Prevention Awareness Week

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As I mentioned in yesterday's awareness post, today we have a guest post from Diary of a Madwoman. She is a mother of three and a widow finding her way through the journey of grief after losing her husband to suicide over a year ago.

She chronicles her journey with surviving after her husband's death and raising her children, who are still grieving and affected deeply by their loss. Her writing is rather inspirational and after you're finished here, I suggest you take a trip on over to her page and read her story from the beginning. She is such a strong and compassionate woman and her story really is remarkable.
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S.U.I.C.I.D.E.

(Originally posted on:) Tuesday, October 25, 2011

"There...I said the word. And I so hate it. I've been thinking today about how many people just don't get it. They think Dave is a coward, a quitter, a man who deserted his wife and 3 kids, babies so young they won't even remember their daddy. I probably thought all that too, before my life was destroyed by it. I've even admitted that if this happened to someone else I knew, I would be saying "How did the wife not know? Why didn't she help him? Why didn't anybody DO anything?" It's such a sneaky killer, really. Those of us close to Dave in the last few weeks were the most shaken, obviously, but also the most stunned. Why didn't he say anything??? Why did he suffer in silence? And for how long?

When this happens to you, you realize that no one in their right mind does this. Looking back, I believe Dave suffered from anxiety and depression since Katrina. But I don't even think he KNEW what IT was. He never said "I'm depressed" or "I feel anxious". It was his way of life obviously. To cope he snuck pills, hid it from everyone. But the wrong kind of pills of course. And when he finally sought medical attention, he was prescribed adderrall. The adderrall put his problems front and center. Made everyday bullshit seem INSURMOUNTABLE. I feel so badly for him. I'm so sad this was his life. His one attempt at help killed him because he didn't understand the disease himself.

My sister in law is walking in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Fundraiser. The website is http://www.outofthedarkness.org. So appropriately named. I was saying this morning if you have cancer or diabetes or MS people do walks and raise money...but there is less understanding about mental illness. You can't see it on an x-ray so it mustn't be real. I wonder what would have happened if Dave would have seen a commerical or heard a radio spot or passed a billboard with a flashing suicide prevention number? Would he have called? Would he be here today?"

Posted by Diaryof a Mad Woman at 12:57 PM

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Many people who commit suicide do so to end their own pain. Some even do it because they believe their loved ones will be better off without them. What many of those people don't realize is that their decision to end their own life will affect so many people around them, and has profound effects on the way their loved ones will live the rest of their lives. Those left to grieve the victim are called suicide survivors. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), this term implies that the grief felt from a suicide is more severe than or otherwise distinct from "normal" mourning. For every victim there are at the very least, six survivors.

Those who lose someone to suicide usually feel many conflicting emotions for the deceased individual. Intense feelings of shock, anger, hate, guilt, remorse, relief, sadness, and even peace may be some of the emotions felt by a survivor. Someone who has lost a loved one to suicide may experience new or worsened sleeping habits, feelings of isolation and emptiness, sudden change in appetite and other behaviors of depression. Sometimes, the suicide of a loved one can lead to dysfunction within the family (including divorce), loss of income and physical properties, or even more suicides.

When a person commits suicide they don't realize that the pain they are trying to end is the same (or very similar) pain that will be felt by their family and friends. The people they love the most are the ones who will feel the loss the worst. Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, spouses, children, grandchildren, old friends, and new friends are all going to feel the pain of the loss of a suicide victim.

However, not everyone who suffers from the loss is close friends and family. The loss is usually felt throughout the community and many times, this is used as a time to promote awareness and learning, as well as, grief counseling. Fellow soldiers, teachers, principals, classmates, co-workers, doctors, police officers, paramedics, and even neighbors are all affected by a suicide.
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I’ll Never Forget His Face

"The night before I had a very uneasy feeling, so I had issues sleeping that night. I got up early the nest morning with my infant son. I started to hear people talking outside so I went out to see what had happened. Then I was told, “She won’t come out of the apartment”; without asking why or caring why I ran in and found her standing in her kitchen. I put my arm around her to start to guide her outside. As we spun around, I discovered why no one else would go in to get her. Her husband was in the doorway to the staircase. He was pale. His eyes were so empty; staring straight through your soul. He was motionless. His lips were blue. All I could do was stare as I noticed he was hanging by his neck with a pair of stretch pants. He had sent his daughter to school and then taken his own life while his wife slept in the next room. All I know, is that I still see his face sometimes." ~~Patricia~~

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(UTube Video: Blaine Larson: "How Do You Get That Lonely?")

I'd like to thank the wonderful Diary of a Madwoman for letting me use her personal experience with suicide for this series. It really means a lot to me and if you haven't already read the rest of her talented and inspiring writing then I suggest you go do so now :)

I'd also like to thank Patricia for sharing her story with us as well. You are a terrific friend and a strong woman. I love you, my friend.

I know I have mentioned it in almost all of the previous posts, but I am going to mention it again.
If you live in the Tillamook area, there is an Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) workshop that you can attend. According to the information ad in our local newspaper:

"ASIST is a comprehensive suicide intervention training. ASIST is the result of more than 20 years of research and development, and is the most widely used suicide intervention program in the world. ASIST is partially funded through a federal grant targeting suicide prevention alternative.

By the end of the workshop you will know:

The signs of suicidal thinking

How to intervene to prevent immediate risk of suicide

The resources available in your area"

If you are interested in attending this workshop it will be held on September 20th and September 21st from 9 am until 5 pm at Tillamook Bay Community College (TBCC). Registration for attendance is required. The cost to attend is $30 per person and for Social Workers, Counselors, and First Responders there are Continuing Education Credits available for taking this workshop. If you would like to register, please take a moment to call (503) 842-8201 ext. 271.

In tomorrow's post I hope to be able to give some helpful/useful tips and advice to those who are considering suicide and those who have lost someone to suicide, on what they can do to either get help for themselves or someone else. I hope that you will come back then and see what I have to offer. I hope it can make a difference to someone.

If you need someone to talk to, please call the number above.
There is someone one the other end who WANTS to help you.
Suicide is NOT the answer.

The Elephant in the Room: Suicide (Part 5 of 8)

2012-09-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

September 9 through September 15, 2012
Suicide Prevention Awareness Week

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Bullycide is a relatively "new" term for a lot of people. It simply refers to suicide as a direct result of being bullied. There have been NUMEROUS suicides in which bullying was the major player in why the victim chose to end their life. A study done by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) shows a significant link between peer violence/bullying and suicidal behaviors in children and young adults. In this study, students who had been threatened or physically harmed by another student were almost two and half times more likely to have thoughts of suicide, and they were a little more than three times as likely to report having suicidal behaviors than students who were not bullied in some way.

In a previous post, I mentioned 13 year old Rachel Ehmke who took her own life after extensive bullying. When I dug a little deeper I also found stories about 12 year old Joel Morales, 15 year old Lennon Baldwin, 14 year old Eden Wormer, 15 year old Amanda Cummings, and 14 year old Phillip Parker, all of whom committed suicide as a result of bullying.

I even found this very recent article about Charlotte Dawson, one of the judges from Australia's Next Top Model, and her suicide attempt after being bullied online. No one is immune from the effects of bullying and depression. No one. Though, in my research, this appears to be a phenomenon almost exclusive to children and young adults.

As with all my pictures, I found this on Yahoo. I did not make this and have no rights to it!! Thought you should know :)

Also, in my research, I noticed that bully related suicides seem to be "on the rise" with victims being younger and younger all the time. I believe this is probably due to the incessant advances in technology and how it defines our lives. The accessibility and availability of the online world is abundant today. More so, than when I was 10 or 11 years old.

I think that because these younger (7 to 13 or 14 years old) kids have things like iPads, iPhones, iPods, laptops, and game systems, to name a few, with web access as well as varying, multiple responsibilities that parent have, it is harder--mind you, I said harder NOT impossible--to monitor their activity on the web and keep children from online bullying.

There are safeguards on computers, phones, televisions, game systems, and almost any other electronic device these days that parents can utilize to help keep their children safe online. I just did a search on Yahoo! and instantly came up with these results. You can find parental control software and "How-to" manuals on using what you already have on your devices. That link I gave to the list is just a start. Do your own search, specified to your devices. It could help end bullying and possibly save a life.

In a few earlier posts in this series (Part 2 and Part 4) I gave a general list of suicide facts, definitions, and warning signs. This is all good information to have, however, knowing what may predispose someone for suicidal behavior may help you determine if someone you know IS thinking of committing suicide, or simply having a rough time. Remember, if you aren't sure, DON'T be afraid to ask the person if they are okay.

There are many things that can factor into a person being more or less likely to attempt/commit suicide. Here I have compiled a short list of these factors to share with you:

Family history of suicide
Family history of mental disorders and/or substance abuse
Violence/Abuse within the family (physical and/or sexual
History of depression or other mental illness
History of self-harm and previous suicide attempts
A romantic break up
The death of a loved one
Living in a place that has had a recent outbreak in youth suicides
Legal and/or financial problems
Feelings of being abandoned and/or rejected
The recent diagnosis of a terminal condition
Current self-harm behaviors
Traumatic brain injury
Lack of Familial Acceptance of Sexual Orientation
Cultural and/or Religious beiefs

For example, some cultures believe suicide to be a noble solution to a personal dilemma

Barriers to mental health treatments
Isolation or feeling cut-off from people
Due to the stigma attached to mental health, suicidal thoughts
and substance abuse disorders, many people are unwilling to seek health
Easy access to lethal means
History of being bullied by peers

Learn how to use parental controls to keep
your kids safe from online bullying

This can happen online and/or in-person
This can be mental and/or physical
This can happen to children, young adults, and older adults

As I mentioned in Part 2 of this series, getting older also is a risk factor for suicide

Most significantly in men aged 65 and over.
The risk of suicide for women peaks between 45 and 54 years old and then again after the age of 75.
Men aged 65 and over are seven times more likely to commit suicide than women who are aged 65 and over.

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"I [have] tried to kill myself two times. The first time was because I had people telling me what to do, who I could and couldn't be with, and a family member told me they were going to take my kids away from me and I didn't what to live without my kids.

I tried to take an overdose of the depression meds I was on at the time. My husband found me and got me to come to and no one knows about this. The second time, my heart was breaking because my husband and I [were] apart and a lot of things were going on at the time. I took four ibuprofen, [then] I got scared and called 911 and was taken to the hospital. After that, a cop took me home and I have not tried it again.

There are times I [still] feel like everyone would be better off without me, but I will not try anything again." ~~Anonymous~~

***I want to say thank you, so very much, for letting me share your story. I want to let you know that I did make minor spelling, punctuation and grammar corrections (that is what some of the bracketed stuff is!). I hope that your story will help someone else to seek help.***

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I'll once again give you the information of the ASIST workshop being hosted by our local community college for anyone who is in the area and is interested in attending!!

So, if you live in the Tillamook area:

"Asist is a comprehensive suicide intervention training. ASIST is the result of more than 20 years of research and development, and is the most widely used suicide intervention program in the world. ASIST is partially funded through a federal grant targeting suicide prevention alternative.

By the end of the workshop you will know:

The signs of suicidal thinking

How to intervene to prevent immediate risk of suicide

The resources available in your area"

Tomorrow I have another wonderfully talented guest blogger, Diary of a Madwoman (who lost her husband to suicide over a year ago), who is going to let me showcase some of her previous work in this series. I'll also be hitting on information about who is affected by a suicide attempt/loss. I hope you will check back to read what she has to say, and then I hope you head on over to her page and read the rest of her awesomely written posts (if you haven't done so already that is).

If you need someone to talk to, please call the number above.
There is someone one the other end who WANTS to help you.
Suicide is NOT the answer.

The Elephant in the Room: Suicide (Part 4 of 8)

2012-09-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

September 9 through September 15, 2012
Suicide Prevention Awareness Week

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"I am smart and I am funny. I am pretty and yet I am not vain. I am socially outgoing and have tons of friends. I am opinionated and open-minded. I have been weak and I have been strong. These are things most anyone who knows me can tell you about me. What almost no one knows--not even my family--is this: I used to be a cutter.

Not because I wanted to die or felt I needed to die. I did it because I was horribly anxious, severely depressed, and at my wit’s end. I had tried everything short of medication and regular therapy (both of which I couldn’t afford because of no health insurance) to ease the anxiety and pain I felt. Nothing seemed to work. Nothing, that is, except for cutting.

It was the release I was looking for. The meditative feeling I couldn’t experience any other way. The pain from the knife wasn’t really pain at all but rather an intoxicating high of relaxation. I did this for quite a while before the influence of a few of the best friends I will ever have made me quit. Made me seek healthier (albeit, more expensive) alternatives to deal with the things I was going through.

While getting help was rather difficult for me to do, it was the best decision I could have ever made. It has been seven years since my last cutting session, but sometimes when my anxiety and stress levels are through the roof, I still get the urge to cut. I crave that high.

I can only imagine how much worse it could have gotten…My friends saved my life and I can never thank them enough." ~~Anonymous submission~~

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Yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day. If you missed the post, check it out here, I hosted a wonderfully talented and inspirational guest blogger yesterday. Thanks, again, to Pauline Vetuna over at Just the Messenger. for allowing me the honor.

Did anyone participate in the candlelight vigil at 8pm last night? I did, in honor of a lost friend. Hanse, you are loved and missed everyday you are not with us.

What other things did you do to help spread awareness in your area? Please, feel free to share with us in the comments section. Now, I will get on to the next part of the series...
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Self-Harm:

Self-harm, often referred to as self-mutilation (though not all self-harming behaviors are also mutilating), is a term that means to deliberately hurt oneself without the intent to cause one's own death. This is a MAJOR warning sign of suicidal thoughts and/or tendencies that can be, and often times is, overlooked. Talking with a very, very good friend of mine recently, she made the statement that self-harm (cutting, in this particular conversation) is extremely addicting. This is something else that is often overlooked and under-talked about but very true.

Self-harm can include one or more of the following:

Cutting on any part of the body (though the wrists and forearms, as well as thighs, can be favorable places) ------>form of self-mutilation
Self-tattooing and scarification ------> form of self-mutilation
Self-burning, usually with cigarettes, lighters, candles and matches -----form of self-mutilation
Head-banging (against walls, door frames, concrete, trees, etc.) ------->form of self-harm
Very hard pinching of oneself (hard enough to leave deep bruising and/or break skin) ------> form of self-harm
Scratching (can refer to use of fingernails or use of razor-blades and knives where only the top few layers are scratched. Usually very minimal bleeding)

There are many reasons that lead a person to use self-harm. The most common response that I was able to gather, is this (summarized in my words), "It is a release....Of tension, anger, frustration, fear, and most importantly, pain. It is a way to let some of that negativity flow out of the body. A way to be reminded that you are alive." Stress, depression, anger, emotional pain, disappointments (social or personal), and an inability to express oneself in a positive/healthier manner are all reasons a person may resort to self-harm. Again, the intent behind self-harm is NOT death. However, untreated/stopped, I believe, it can lead to addiction and death.

There are MANY things that a suicidal person MAY do before they take their own lives--some suicidal individuals will show NO SIGNS before they commit suicide. I must mention, many of these can be rather subtle things/actions, ANYTHING out of the ordinary for someone you know well should be taken seriously. Don't be afraid to ask questions and provide support, even if you are unsure.

Some things to watch for include:

Self-harm

As I stated above, this is a MAJORLY overlooked sign. This is also a sign that has probably persisted for awhile before the actual suicide attempt is made.

Appearing depressed/sad most of the time.

Undiagnosed/untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide.

A sudden, unexpected change from being depressed all the time to being happy/cheery.

While this may mean the person has received necessary help, take time to ask, it may mean they are just about to commit suicide.

Talking about wanting to die or kill oneself -----> NO threat should EVER be ignored!!
Talking about being hopeless, helpless, worthless, and/or a burden to others.
Suddenly visiting and/or calling family and friends (especially those they haven't seen/heard from in awhile)
Increasing and/or picking up the habit of abusing drugs and alcohol.
Major change in eating and sleeping habits.
Seeking out ways to commit suicide: research online, purchase of guns/ammunition, knives, pills, rope, etc.
Getting their "affairs in order"

Changing or completing a will
Sudden, last minute funeral arragements
Giving away prized possessions to family and friends

The American Association of Suicidology (AAS) has an easy to remember Mnemonic to help you spot signs of suicide. IS PATH WARM.

Ideation
Substance Abuse

                Purposelessness
                Anxiety
               Trapped
              Hopelessness

                                 Withdrawal
                                    Anger
                                    Recklessness
                                 Mood Changes

Remember, not all suicidal persons will show signs that they are thinking about suicide. If you see uncharacteristic behavior in someone you know well, take a minute to ask them what is up. It just might make the all the difference.

The personal story I am about to share with you is a poem that was written to the previous anonymous guest in this post, as the two happen to be good friends. The author of this poem has asked me to stay anonymous and I am respecting their wishes. However, I personally know this individual. If you STEAL this poem just because it says anonymous and I find YOUR name attached to it, there will be hell to pay!!!
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Paper Mache

They come in nice little patterns

Lines spaced about ¼ inch apart

1 nice big X

And in one lovely nice red

You say it externalizes the pain

Well it sure as hell does

Because everyone around you aches

But how is it my place to say?

So cut yourself to paper mache

I’ll advert my eyes and turn away

And curl up in so much pain

To see my friend go to waste

But it ain't my fucking place

How ever could it be?

Because your perfect body

Is for you to ruin

And not for me.

Anonymous

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I want to thank both of my anonymous guests today for allowing me to share their stories with the world. It really means a lot to me that you would allow me to do so!! *Hugs and Love*:)

Yes, I am going to mention this again:

If you live in the Tillamook area, there is an Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) workshop that you can attend. According to the information ad in our local newspaper:

"Asist is a comprehensive suicide intervention training. ASIST is the result of more than 20 years of research and development, and is the most widely used suicide intervention program in the world. ASIST is partially funded through a federal grant targeting suicide prevention alternative.

By the end of the workshop you will know:

The signs of suicidal thinking

How to intervene to prevent immediate risk of suicide

The resources available in your area"

Tomorrow I have another addition to add to my week-long project. I will be touching on the subjects of Bullycide and Who is at Risk for suicide. I hope that you will keep reading and pass along any or all of the info to anyone who you think may benefit from it.

If you need someone to talk to, please call the number above.
There is someone one the other end who WANTS to help you.
Suicide is NOT the answer.

The Elephant in the Room: Suicide (Part 3 of 8)

2012-09-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

September 9th through 15th, 2012
Suicide Prevention Awareness Week

Every year since 1974, the nation has come together in a week-long campaign to help promote Suicide Prevention Awareness. All sorts of events are held all over our country, in the hopes that the information received there will help keep even just one person from committing suicide. The idea is to draw attention to suicide prevention, suicide warning signs, reduce stigma surrounding the topic of suicide (so that more prevention happens), encourage those who need it to seek mental health assistance, and to support those who have attempted suicide, as well as those who have lost someone to suicide.

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As I mentioned in yesterday's Awareness Post, Pauline Vetuna over at Just the Messenger. has graciously allowed me to feature a post she wrote at the beginning of August this year about World Suicide Prevention Day (with great links/info about what is happening in Australia for the day), as part of my Suicide Prevention Awareness posts. I can not express enough how appreciative I am for the honor to host such wonderful writing on my blog, thank you again Pauline for letting me showcase some of your wonderful work.

Before I let you get to her post, however, I very strongly encourage you to take a few minutes to read up on who Miss Pauline Vetuna is. Her story is a humbling and inspirational one. Take a break and head on over to her page by clicking here and here to meet her and see who she is BEFORE you continue on and read her marvelous post. It is worth it, I promise.
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Out of the Shadows, into the Light: Suicide Prevention Day, 10 September 2012

Originally posted on August 8, 2012 by pjvetuna

In early August 2004, barely into his twenties, a friend of mine – and mad Elliott Smith fan – took his own life. He had struggled with mental health issues, rooted in a childhood marked by poverty, deprivation of love, and instability. As devastating as his suicide was, his untimely death came as a shock to no one – he was born into a house and body of pain, which he tried to numb with alcohol and drug use. Unable to connect in a healthy way with the world, the inner isolation drove him over the brink. Towards the end of the following year, another good man, who had made my high school experience much less repugnant over coffee, outsider wit and Daria, died in similar circumstances, at the age of 21. As he and I had lost contact over the years, I did not find out about his passing until about five months after the fact.

At the time I found out, I was an in-patient at a spinal rehabilitation hospital, waiting for modifications on my parents’ newly mortgaged house to be completed, so I could bust out. Whilst out for the day, I ran into a high school friend at Flinders Street Station and, still in a world of grief herself, she abruptly broke the news to me. A week or so later, through several hours of debriefing with her, I found out more about his life. A sensitive and intelligent young man, he had become involved in community activism to support LGB youth, but privately struggled with his own turmoil. I realized that we had faced similar trials during that previous year, 2005: relationship break-downs. Extreme anxiety. Depression. Fear. Loneliness. Untenable bottling of emotions. Self-medicating. At the very time he passed away, I was contemplating doing the same.

I am thankful that I didn’t take that final action, as I have witnessed the pain and suffering of those who are left behind. The emotions they are burdened with run the gamut from grief to anger, confusion, guilt, and even shame. Coming to terms with the hole that is left, and the unanswered questions, is part of the unending process of dealing with such an enormous loss. Those left behind can resent the person who committed suicide for the “selfishness” of the act; view them as inconsiderate of those that cared about them. However, whilst the circumstance surrounding every death is different, suicide usually occurs when a person’s pain exceeds their resources and ability to cope. The friend who left in August was not selfish – at the same time, in his own mind, he was completely alone. His life was undeniably harder than his peers. From the writing he left behind, it was clear he could not feel anything but pain by the end – not even the love of those around him.

This is ILLNESS, after all. It is a particular kind of pain that is impossible to understand if you have never been inside of it, inside that mental state. I hope you never are. Nonetheless, thousands of Australians will experience it. Suicide is the leading cause of death for men under the age of 44 and women under 34. The ABS, Causes of Death 2009 report showed deaths due to suicide numbering at 2,132 – which equates to 6 deaths by suicide a day, or one every four hours (and these are just the suicides that are reported). It showed that more people die from suicide in Australia than from skin cancer, and that Indigenous people are FOUR TIMES more likely to die by suicide than non-indigenous people. And for every completed suicide, it is estimated that as many as 30 people attempt to do so.

BUT THERE IS HOPE. There is hope in taking positive action, in arming yourself with knowledge on how to support both others and yourself in times of dire need. Knowledge on what to do and where to turn to, to find appropriate assistance, and to nourish your own mental well being.

THE 10^th OF SEPTEMBER IS WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY (WSPD). On this day, numerous events, conferences, campaigns and local activities call to public attention what is one of the world’s largest causes of premature and unnecessary death. Essentially, it’s about getting information out, and connecting people to the support, services and resources that could prevent them, or someone they know, from taking such a drastic action. Everyone is invited to get involved by participating in or hosting an event as part of WSPD. To do so, check out the official WSPD Australia website HERE. The website also contains a ‘Help‘ page HERE with links to hotlines and organizations that assist people in need, and a great ‘Resources‘ page with links to information on suicide and mental illnesses. Check it out HERE.

As part of World Suicide Prevention Day, an organization that has been of personal assistance to me, LIFELINE AUSTRALIA, is organizing ‘Out of the Shadows and into the Light’ Walks, to mark the occasion and raise awareness about suicide prevention. To join an Out of the Shadows walk (or register your own), go to the website HERE. Lifeline provides various services for people in crisis and those that care for them, and has published Suicide Prevention Resources and Information – you can download and read through them HERE.

And if you or someone you know is suicidal (and you live in Australia) you can call Lifeline 24/7 on 13 11 14 (call 000 if in immediate danger).

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Hanse Joshua Peterson
3/27/87 to 2/4/03

In honor of World Suicide Prevention Day, the International Association for Suicide Prevention is offering EVERYONE an opportunity to participate in a candle light vigil. No, you don't have to go anywhere. It is easy. At 8 pm, wherever in the world you may be, simply light a candle close to a window to show your support of: World Suicide Prevention Day, suicide prevention awareness, survivors of suicide and the memories of lost loved ones.

As I mentioned in Part 2 of this series, I will be participating tonight. I will be doing so to honor the memory of a great friend who, tragically, took his own life at the age of 15 years old. It is for his memory and for my grief that I chose to participate originally. Now, I also participate to help spread awareness. I encourage EVERYONE to participate in this simple event.

Suicide is preventable. All it takes, is for someone to listen. All it takes, is for someone to reach out.

If you live in the Tillamook area, there is an Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) workshop that you can attend. According to the information ad in our local newspaper:

"Asist is a comprehensive suicide intervention training. ASIST is the result of more than 20 years of research and development, and is the most widely used suicide intervention program in the world. ASIST is partially funded through a federal grant targeting suicide prevention alternative.

By the end of the workshop you will know:

The signs of suicidal thinking

How to intervene to prevent immediate risk of suicide

The resources available in your area"

If you are interested in attending this workshop it will be held on September 20th and September 21st from 9 am until 5 pm at Tillamook Bay Community College (TBCC). Registration for attendance is required. The cost to attend is $30 per person and for Social Workers, Counselors, and First Responders there are Continuing Education Credits available for taking this workshop. If you would like to register, please take a moment to call (503) 842-8201 ext. 271.

I really want to thank Miss Pauline Vetuna, again, for allowing me to host her over here on my blog for today! I really, truly do appreciate the honor :)

There is another post for the series headed your way tomorrow. The main focus will be self-harm and other warning signs of suicide. Keep your eyes open for it and thank you again for reading.

If you need someone to talk to, please call the number above.
There is someone one the other end who WANTS to help you.
Suicide is NOT the answer.

The Elephant in the Room: Suicide (Part 2 of 8)

2012-09-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

September 9 through September 15, 2012
Suicide Prevention Awareness Week

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Before I begin this post, I encourage you to read Part 1 in this series if you have not done so already. This will give you the back story as to why I chose to do a post-a-day for this particular week. What are you waiting for?? Go, now!

A thought (later explained more) a friend of mine gave to me the other day...
A slightly unconventional definition/reason for the term, if you will.

Su-i-cide (s'-sd'):

The act or instance of intentionally killing oneself.
The destruction or ruin of one's own interests.
For example: It is professional suicide to involve oneself in illegal practices.
One who commits suicide.

That is the official definition, for any and all who aren't quite sure what the term really means. I only included the second part of the definition...well, because it was there LoL I, however, digress.

(According to good old Wikipedia) Over one million people in the world die this way annually. To add to that, there is an estimated 10 to 20 million unsuccessful attempts at suicide annually. That is a lot of death. A lot of grief. A lot of healing to be done....

Here are some more statistics on the matter:

Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for young adults (aged 15 to 24 years old).
Suicide is ranked as the 10th leading cause of death in the United States (coming in at least 4 slots AHEAD of homicide).

For every one completed suicide, there is an estimated 8 to 25 unsuccessful attempts.
There are approximately 4.5 million suicide survivors in the U.S. alone.
Every year, 1 out of every 65,000 children ages 10 to 14 years old will commit suicide.
On average, one person dies every 14.2 to 16.2 minutes from suicide.
Women attempt suicide 3 times as often as men; though men are 4 times as likely to die from suicide than women.
The risk of suicide rises with age. Most significantly in men aged 65 and over.
The risk of suicide for women peaks between 45 and 54 years old and then again after the age of 75.
Men aged 65 and over are seven times more likely to commit suicide than women who are aged 65 and over.

In a given year, approximately 10% of Americans are affected by depression. That is more than 24 million people.
At some point in their lives, at least 15% of the population will suffer from major depression.

Approximately 30% of all clinically depressed people attempt suicide with nearly half of them dying from their attempts.

Over 60% of ALL people who die from suicide suffer from major depression (major depressive disorder).
Depression is the most treatable of ALL the mental illnesses.

Between 80 and 90% of people with depression respond positively to treatment.

The majority of suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress that need to be addressed, and not just a harmless bid for attention. A suicidal person should not be left alone and needs immediate mental health treatment.

If your school DOESN'T have one, you should ask them to get one!!

Despite these pretty damning statistics, most people don't talk about suicide at all. It is frowned upon and looked down on as a cowardly, selfish act. I can admit that I thought those exact same things before (and even after) my own loss to suicide. However, a close friend of mine said something to me the other day that made me stop and think. She said that "maybe suicide isn't selfish or cowardly, but instead the only way that person could find peace for themselves. The only way to make the hurt stop." Which is why I chose the above picture to start out this post.

I also feel the need to point out to you that not everyone who attempts suicide does so out of depression (though there is usually an underlying battle with depression going on as well). Some do so out of anger. Anger for which they see no other outlet for...
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"I dunno if you knew or not, but I [have] been suicidal since I was 9. I still think about it, but really haven't acted on it, until last year. I only cut my wrists though. I was going to kill my mother-in-law, but I took it [out] on myself before I put hands on her. It was like "beat the shit out of his mom and get a divorce and go to jail or stay in this marriage because I loved the guy." And I picked that and cut up my whole arm. She doesn't live with me anymore. I'm glad [that] she doesn't." ~~Anonymous submission from a very dear friend of mine

For the record, I'm glad the necessary steps to help you were taken and she doesn't live with you anymore honey. You don't need that kind of stress. I love you <3 Thank you for courageously sharing your story with me and with others.

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Tomorrow, September 10, 2012, is International Suicide Prevention Awareness Day/World Suicide Prevention Day. This is the one day that is set aside ALL OVER THE WORLD so that we can all come together to help spread the word to those in need of it: "You are NOT alone. You ARE loved. You WILL be missed. There IS help out there." From those who are considering this as an optional end to their situation to those who are looking to live each day without someone who did go that route. You ARE NOT alone in this journey.

The International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) has a list of events that are going on all over the world in participation of World Suicide Prevention Day. Since most of us are very busy with our day to day lives, and many of you will be hearing about this rather late this year (next year, I promise to do better!!), I have chosen the simplest way to participate for the day.


3/27/87-2/4/03 Gone, but never forgotten...

A world-coordinated candlelight vigil.

September 10th, 2012 is World Suicide Prevention Day. If you are looking for a simple and yet meaningful way to participate this year, then you can easily take part in the candlelight vigil that has been coordinated by IASP.

Light a candle near a window at 8 PM to show your support for suicide prevention, to remember a lost loved one, and for the survivors of suicide.

The International Association for Suicide Prevention
invites you to light a candle at 8 PM

I am lighting a candle for Hanse tomorrow night. Who are you lighting a candle for? What other events are you getting involved in? I hope next year I can do more. This year, this is all I have to offer.

If you live in the Tillamook area, there is an Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) workshop that you can attend. According to the information ad in our local newspaper:

"Asist is a comprehensive suicide intervention training. ASIST is the result of more than 20 years of research and development, and is the most widely used suicide intervention program in the world. ASIST is partially funded through a federal grant targeting suicide prevention alternative.

By the end of the workshop you will know:

The signs of suicidal thinking

How to intervene to prevent immediate risk of suicide

The resources available in your area"

If you are interested in attending this workshop it will be held on September 20th and September 21st from 9 am until 5 pm at Tillamook Bay Community College (TBCC). Registration for attendance is required. The cost to attend is $30 per person and for Social Workers, Counselors, and First Responders there are Continuing Education Credits available for taking this workshop. If you would like to register, please take a moment to call (503) 842-8201 ext. 271

Stay tuned in for tomorrow's post! I have a lovely piece written by the truly inspiring Pauline Vetuna over at Just the Messenger! that I will be sharing with you tomorrow in honor of World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day. She hails from Australia and will be sharing some of the events that are going to be happening over there for tomorrow.

If you need someone to talk to, please call the number above.
There is someone one the other end who WANTS to help you.
Suicide is NOT the answer.

Public Potty Training.....At The Table???

2012-09-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

I happened to come home from work a little early today (I volunteered to go back and finish the night shift though) and came across this wonderfully written post by The Bitchy Waiter. If you haven't read this guy's blog, do so ASAP!! It is hilarious! But, I digress.

After only reading the first few sentences of this post, I was appalled enough to check out the news article he referenced. Sure as shit, almost literally LoL, what he was saying is true (not like I doubted him for an instant, seeing it with my own eyes just makes it more real to me)!!

So, here's the deal. At the Thanksgiving Point Deli restaurant in Lehi, Utah, the mother of twin girls decided it was an awesome idea to sit BOTH her girls on portable potty chairs AT THE TABLE. While they ate their lunch. Practically naked (they had been in jumpsuits until that point) in a LARGE crowd of people. All of whom were also eating their lunches.

According to the witness, Kimberly Decker, who happened to snap a picture of what was going on:

"The more you thought about it, the more unappetizing everything looked around me. I was like this is not ok, we're eating, there was a business meeting with about five or six businessmen going on right next to me. The place was packed."

This is the picture she snapped and then posted on Facebook:

Courtesy of The Bitchy Waiter!

Ok. There are a few things wrong with this in my opinion and I want to share them with this particular mom (and you of course!!). So, here is my list:

1. Poop and Food DO NOT mix!!

This should go without saying, really. Have you NOT heard of E. Coli bacteria?? That is why they have separate, ENCLOSED facilities for doing your business in...

2. Potty-training and jumpsuits/overalls

I understand that they are cute on your kids. If you are potty training them, they don't need to be wearing them!! They are hard to get in and out of and you practically have to strip naked to do your business (see above picture...) which is annoying and very frustrating. Also a big reason lots of kids have potty accidents (as someone who worked in a day care center, I can say this with confidence)!!

3. Possible Predators

Do you know all those people in that crowded restaurant personally? Are any of them registered sex offenders? Are any of them unregistered sex offenders? Did you even stop to think of any of that? Did you realize you would WILLINGLY be putting your children at risk for a potential predator? How do you know that one of those people around you is NOT a predator and WON'T follow you home to further fulfill his plans?

**As a note, a predator would see this as one sign of bad parenting and WILL look for more signs of your bad parenting, which will lead to an opportune moment to strike!!**

4. Disregard for privacy, health codes, and the general public.

Going to the bathroom is suppose to be a private matter (unless you're in prison or some such facility) and not something shared with the world--let alone a whole restaurant--which is something you obviously don't know or don't care about.

There is a reason health code laws are in place (see point #1 above as an example of just ONE of many reasons) and you are blatantly teaching your children it is okay to break rules/laws.

Your general disregard for how uncomfortable watching your toddlers take a crap made the other customers is also something you are teaching your children. The fact that you put OTHER people at risk for getting sick, due to fecal matter in the air settling on their food, is another obvious disregard for the general public (also going back to point #1 and the health code violation point right above).

5. Plain old bad parenting.

This makes you look like a lazy, bad parent. You are the example given to new parents when told what NOT to do with their children. Well, you and millions of other bad parents, but that is beside the point. We are talking about you here!

When you act like this, let alone in public, you are teaching your very mold-able young children that things like laws and the safety of themselves and others don't matter. When you do things like this you are saying to them, "Do what you want even if it is against the law, puts yourself and others at risk, or bothers other people!!"

THIS IS NOT OKAY!!

While I understand that potty training can be, and often is, a big pain in the ass for a lot of parents and children to master (my honey and I are having issues of our own with his little man), I hope I am not the only one who finds this disgusting and an example of bad parenting...

You've Got to Be Kidding Me, Right?

2012-09-01T01:11:00.001-07:00

Tonight when I got home from work I came across this statement in my FB newsfeed:

"So 20 yrs after the fact a woman is suing Disney and Touchstone bc she says the Sister Act movies are based on her life and they were not authorized to tell her story." (Thanks Cierra for enlightening me!!)

Wait, what??!! I had to check this out!!

Sure as shit, it is true!!

A Harlem nun named Delois Blakely is ACTUALLY suing Walt Disney and Sony Pictures for $1 billion dollars. Her allegations are that the movie (and sequel...and stage musical adaptation) "Sister Act" is based off HER real-life experiences. She is doing this (over) TWENTY YEARS after the fact....Yes, you did just read that correctly.

Blakely says that in 1987 she published an autobiography named, The Harlem Street Nun, and that later that year Cynthia Bowles, Tri Star Pictures producer, expressed her interest in movie rights. According to her claim, some time later producer Scott Rudin left Tri Star (which is now Sony Pictures in case you were wondering), taking with him the "Sister Act" project, for Disney, who subsequently made the film---and tons of cash.

The reason she is suing?

According to the suit, "the defendants used the plaintiff's actual life experiences without her permission or authorization, thereby irreparably damaging her by depriving her of the windfall of financial gain reaped by defendants." Sister Act brought in $231 million worldwide and the sequel earned $57 million.

She has decided to represent herself in this case. She is claiming a breach of contract, breach of confidentiality, misappropriation of her own likeness, unjust enrichment and other such asinine claims. You can view the whole things right below, I have included it for your personal viewing.

Gov.uscourts.nysd.387315.2.0

WHAT. THE. HELL. I really can't believe the actions of some people.......I am slightly flabbergasted at the moment. And a bit disgusted, because yet again I am reminded just how money hungry people really are now.

Brief Update......About Practically Nothing

2012-08-24T01:46:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted anything new lately. Sorry about that! I've been busy working on the posts I have coming out for Suicide Prevention Awareness Week which I mentioned in my last post.

Also, I have been dying of utter boredom. I whined about it over in The Personals if you care to take a look. With all the down time I've been having from work, I am disappointed in myself for not getting more out there for you guys to read. I WILL be working on remedying this ASAP (which is mentioned over on my latest post--come on, go read it already! You know you want to...) and so I hope you will be patient and stay tuned in!

The Elephant in the Room: Suicide (Part 1 of 8)

2012-08-14T19:13:00.001-07:00

When I began to take a serious interest in my writing, approximately 12 years ago, I started out with poetry. Now, this began as a classroom assignment in my Language Arts classroom, but due to a wonderful teacher I was instantly hooked on poetry--and more importantly, writing about things that mattered.

When I started out, I knew that I wanted to someday change people's lives (I mean, who doesn't right?). What better way to do that than with written word--something that will be there until the end of time? So, to catch the interest of those that I knew best (my peers) I chose topics that most kids my age either knew nothing about or found to be "taboo". For this reason, and this reason alone, most of my earlier poetry and some short stories all revolve around death, self-harm, and suicide. Pretty morbid "topics of interest" for an eighth grader, huh? Most of my peers thought so too.

However, this morbid "topic of interest" that I had in suicide took a sudden, violent swing into becoming a passionate mission of awareness during my sophomore year in high school. A few months shy of having lived in Oregon for a year, one of my best friends from my hometown committed suicide.


Hanse Joshua Peterson March 27, 1987 to February 4, 2003

I was shaken to the core by the devastating news from some of our other friends. I was overwhelmed with grief, confusion, and guilt.

I felt the obvious pangs of grief that most people feel when they lose someone close to them. Disbelief, anger, sadness...All of it. I got stuck in my confusion for awhile, though. By all outward appearances, he was a happy and healthy teenage boy. He didn't broadcast his troubles or make extremely blatant cries for help (with one exception--he once ran away to another state during junior high school) so no one knew the pain he was feeling. No one. We all offered our advices and shoulders to cry on when necessary but without intimate knowledge of his situation, there was nothing we could do. This ran me head first into one of the longest guilt trips I have ever given myself.

I felt, as someone who considered themselves rather close with him, that I should have known his suffering and I should have been there for him. I also felt guilty because in the transition to Oregon I lost contact with so many childhood friends and he was one of them--which made it harder to know if he needed me to be there for him (and he obviously needed someone). I felt that I should have tried harder to keep in contact with him and that I should have tried harder to know what was going on in his life inside and outside of school. I felt that there was so much left unsaid to him...I felt sadness for all the things he would not experience...I felt anger towards his tormentors, those who drove him to thinking that suicide was his only way to peace. I felt so many things, all at once, that I could not even begin to put into words.

All of these emotions led me to a school project the following year that I used to try to help me deal with some of the grief and guilt I was feeling. I put together a suicide awareness power-point presentation for a computer class I was taking. I also put together and handed out awareness brochures and business cards with the prevention hotline listed on it. I realized it was a step in the right direction to helping heal the wounds I still felt from the loss of such a great person. Over the years, I occasionally have come back to knowing that there needs to be more awareness and have given a few speeches on the topic for many classes I have taken. Somehow, this doesn't seem like enough.


Jacob Wesley Saunders April 11, 2012

I was reminded several months ago just how important suicide awareness prevention is when I learned of a suicide in my community--the third one in two years! I did not know the young man, but his death reopened old wounds for me. Many of my friends knew who this young man was and all of them were DEEPLY affected by his decision to end his life. Their grief secretly became my grief. Wounds I thought had finally healed after nine years were opened again--even if only briefly--and, now at the end of summer, I have been reeling from the emotional chaos ever since.

This emotional roller-coaster I have been riding had me in a very bad funk the other day (and almost derailed completely, if I may say so myself) when I received news from a family friend that her son--someone I consider the little brother I never had--was currently receiving mental health treatment due to a very recent threat to commit suicide. While I know that he is okay and getting the help that he needs to be getting, my heart is breaking for him. All of those ugly emotions of confusion and guilt are starting to rear their ugly little heads again. I feel like somehow, I have to do something to help get the word out there to others that they are not alone and that they can find the help and peace they are looking for without ending it all.

Despite the frequent occurrence of suicide in everyday life, it is STILL considered a "taboo" topic of discussion for MANY people, for MANY reasons. This perception of suicide NEEDS to stop. We have to get the word out and hope that it will help others choose to seek help instead of ending their lives.

September 9th through September 15th is National Suicide Prevention Week this year.

September 10, 2012 is International Suicide Prevention Day.

What will you be doing to promote awareness??

In honor of spreading the word on suicide and suicide prevention I will be posting something about suicide every day that week. This is only a small part I can play in helping to spread the awareness. Hopefully, you will do your small part to help spread the awareness as well.

If you need someone to talk to, please call the number above.
There is someone one the other end who WANTS to help you.
Suicide is NOT the answer.

You, Sir, Are A Douchebag...

2012-07-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

I came across something today that really got my blood boiling...I came across this particular article in my Facebook newsfeed which was shared by a wonderful page I am subscribed to called The Autism Grant. I was thoroughly disgusted by what I read there. Before I continue, let me clear something up for those of you who don't know me in real life...

This is MY passion...

Autism Spectrum Disorder is a topic that I am VERY passionate about. I should start by saying that this is not a "biased" passion, since I don't have any family or friends who are on the spectrum, but I have worked one on one with children who are. For some reason unknown to me, I just "click" with these youngsters and I love every minute of working with them. Due to this discovery (I had never had the pleasure of knowing anyone on the spectrum before working at this particular daycare center) I changed my major in college. I plan to work with children on the Autism spectrum (once I can get my loans paid off so I can finish my degree but I digress...again) and I tend to keep up with the news related to this "topic of passionate interest". Everything about the topic intrigues me from possible causes to new treatments to just plain old awareness techniques to try.

Now that that is out of the way, I should begin. This is my letter to Mr. Joe Scarborough, a.k.a Douchebag, in response to his unfounded conclusions between Autism and being a murderer. Yes, you did read that correctly. So, here goes:

Dear Mr. Scarborough,

You sir, are an idiot. Not just any kind of idiot either. You are the kind of close-minded, open-mouthed, idiot that really should never be in the public eye. I am thoroughly disgusted to see that despite having a son on the spectrum, you believe that many "shooters" commit these crimes because they are on the spectrum.

Just because some of the anti-social behaviors of those on the spectrum (though, keep in mind that many are friendly and fully functional in social settings) mimic those of a person who is rather mentally unstable (psychopath, sociopath, etc) DOES NOT mean that there is a link between the two. While I do have to commend you for acknowledging that you know NOTHING about the Colorado shooter, I just can't fathom how you drew that conclusion.

And while we're already here, what's to stop you from saying that rapists, pedophiles, thieves, and serial killers are also this way because of some "undiagnosed spectrum disorder"? I am being serious. Is this where your comments are hinting to? Is this what you really think of people on the Autism Spectrum as a whole?

SHAME. ON. YOU.

For someone who has a child on the spectrum, you should be advocating awareness of the disorder and not drawing false conclusions about the "link" between Autism and murder. That makes you look like a horrible (not to mention ignorant) person and a terrible father. How do you think it makes your son feel to know that his daddy thinks that Autism disorders lead to murderers? Do you treat him differently, perhaps less kind or empathetical, because you think this way (I'm sure your kid is wondering this too now)? How are you going to justify these conclusions and remarks?

These kinds of comments are what breeds discrimination, hate, and lies. These kinds of comments only make the world a harder place for those on the spectrum to navigate through and succeed in. Already you are setting your own child up for failure with these kinds of comments and conclusions.

I believe that you owe the Autism Spectrum community (which is a VERY large one by the way Mr. Scarborough) one hell of a big public apology. Go ahead and do it the same way you told the world you believed this conclusion, on your talk show. I also believe that you should freshen up on your knowledge of mental disorders, because drawing conclusions without facts just makes you look like a douchebag.

Sincerely,
The Mouthy Bitch

I also have to share this wonderful video that was posted after Joe stated his conclusions on public television. This young man, Kerry Magro, is also on the Autism spectrum and calls Scarborough out on his conclusions.

I also encourage everyone to sign this petition demanding Scarborough to retract his unfounded statements and apologize to those on the spectrum and those who love someone on the spectrum. I sure did and I hope you do too!!

I Have a Rockin' Blog :D

2012-07-21T03:42:00.002-07:00

What a lovely surprise to find another award given to me when I got home from work this evening. I have to give a very big and gracious thank you to the wonderful Lily over at The Incoherent Ramblings Of A Moose! for this terrific award!!

Doesn't it look just wonderful??!! Oh come on, you know it does!! :D Thanks again Lily!!

I think it is a lovely addition to my awards page!! I hope to keep on rockin' and hope y'all keep on enjoyin'!! I don't have much else for tonight, but keep your eyes out in the next few days...I plan to have at least one or two rants coming your way!! Hope everyone has a bitchin' day!!

Over-The-Counter HIV Rapid Testing Kit: Is It Worth It, Yet?

2012-07-16T20:55:00.005-07:00

July is National HIV Awareness month. Until recently I had no idea when it was. This is probably information I need to know. The only reason I became aware of this fact is because of a blog post I happened to come across on the Women's Health magazine website. While this post isn't exactly spreading HIV awareness in the sense of tons of stats, it is introducing us to a new testing product.

I am one of the 80+ million Americans who has never been tested for HIV. This is not due to some fear of the results or from being lazy (at least not outright LoL), I just simply never think about it when I am at the doctor. With so much going on in our day-to-day lives, this (I imagine) is the case for most of that estimated number of people not being tested. Life today is just so....hectic. Who has time for this kind of thing??

There are already over-the-counter (OTC) home test kits for HIV out there on the market. Many of them require taking a blood sample and then having that sample shipped to a laboratory for the actual testing to be done. A few take a quick finger-prick amount of blood onto the testing device, a short wait (about 15 minutes) and then, viola, your results. If you are anything like me, however, the idea of having to "draw" your own blood in any fashion may just make your skin crawl.

The makers of OraQuick, OraSure, have made this a little bit easier for you. Just follow these 3 easy steps as outlined from the product's instructions:

Gently swab your top and bottom gums (front sides).
Place swab in vial of solution on stand.
Wait 20 minutes and read results.

While previously this product has only been available to health care providers, OraSure has won the battle to get their product on the shelves of drugstores all across America. Come this October you will be able to find this nifty little product on the shelves of your local Wal-Mart, Walgreens, RiteAid, or CVS/pharmacy--or you can simply order this product off the internet here and have it delivered to your door!!

Sounds great right?? I thought so too until I came across this bit of information over on the blog post I read:

"How effective is it [OraQuick]? 
The test is pretty reliable at detecting the virus, with a 99.98 percent rate of accuracy, a false positive in just one in 5,000 tests. However, its false negative rate is one in 12, meaning many people infected with HIV could remain undiagnosed if they don’t follow up with further testing."

Seriously?! While I commend the fact that it accurately detects the HIV1&2 viruses with a 99.98% rate, I happen to find the fact that there is a 1 in 12 chance of the viruses NOT being detected very alarming!! Isn't that part of the point to being able to do this kind of thing at home?? I mean, I would be ecstatic to get a negative result (who wouldn't?!) but then the anxiety of whether or not it was a false-negative would set right in. Then I would be compelled to make an official appointment (which my busy life doesn't have time for) to get a "more professional" test done to ease my mind. If I wanted to go that route, I would have just made the appointment to begin with instead of buying the at-home kit.

Now, don't get me wrong. This IS a big step forward in HIV/AIDS prevention and I can acknowledge that completely. I just hope that OraSure can work out some of the kinks with the high number of false-negatives. I think I would be more inclined to use the product if I knew that it could more accurately give me a negative result and I'm sure most people can agree with me on that, at least to some degree.

The idea is a novel one. Taking the "creepy" out of HIV testing by simply swabbing your gums would be great.....if it were as accurate as a blood sample. So, at least for now, I think that the "creepy" and slightly more traditional blood testing kits (send away or rapid-result) is the way to go for a more definitive, as well as more private and less stress-inducing, testing results.

Two Awards in Two Days :D

2012-07-14T02:03:00.000-07:00

I was thrilled (and super surprised!!) to find out yesterday that I had received an award from Cheryl over at Crap That Bugs Me!, I couldn't believe it!! My very first award!! And from a blogger I LOVE to read!! Part of my daily, morning routine :) I'm kind of an addict LoL

Thanks again, so very much, Cheryl!! I do appreciate it!! :)

This blog is awarded to up-and-coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. I only have 4, so I suppose this made me a terrific candidate!! I am glad that she happens to like my writing enough to bestow such an honor unto my little piece of sanity :D

So, you can imagine my surprise when I logged on today to see that I had received ANOTHER award!!! :D I did my very own happy dance!! (Too bad the honey wasn't here to see it!! LoL He loves it when I do it!!) This second honor was bestowed upon me by Becky over at Just Passing Through. This is another one of my favorite blogs to read!! Every. Single. Morning. I can't get enough :) So I was more than flattered to have received yet another award from a favorite fellow blogger!!

I appreciate this little beauty from Becky more than I can explain :) Thanks again!!

Aren't they beautiful?? I think they look just lovely here on my blog :) I set them up their own page *Hint, Hint ;)* I was thrilled to follow the rules that come with each award (even though some of the rules are still works in progress for me) and you can see all the details over on the page--see, now you have to check it out!! This is where you can see whom I've passed these beauties along to, and I suggest you check out these awesome fellow bloggers!! **These lists will be updated as soon as possible. I have 3 left to award for the Liebster award and 2 left to award for the Sunshine award. I will let you know when those lists are updated/complete**

I'm going to take my excited self off to bed now. It's going to be a long morning tomorrow....I feel a rant is probably in the works....Thanks for reading!

Interview Anxiety

2012-07-03T13:57:00.000-07:00

Well, I have an interview on Monday morning at 10 am. While this isn't a glamorous job, it is a job nonetheless (and these days we all know how hard they are to come by). I am rather excited about this prospective new job for a few reasons:

It is guaranteed the shift I want (swing shift like my honey).
Guaranteed, every other weekend off. This is great because we only get to see little man on the weekends. Also, this is when my honey has his days off from work. That never changes (almost LoL).
I get to see my honey more often during the day this way than I do now. Right now it feels like we hardly see each other at all--though a few friends/coworkers have pointed out to me that my honey and I spend more time together than most.
It gets me out of my overly-stressful current job situation and into a slightly more relaxed environment. Couldn't we all use that every now and again??

This isn't my first interview at all. However, I am always rather nervous about having to sit in front of a complete stranger and talk about myself to them. More times than not, I am so confused on what it is that they are asking me exactly. And I am always afraid of saying something incredibly silly like Jen did over at PIWTPITT (No offense Jen!! I love your blog and this post was hilariously good!!)

Almost......

While I don't recall ever being asked what animal I would most be like and why, the one question that always trips me up is, "What is one example of how you have handled a tough situation/customer/coworker in the past and how effective was this?"

I'm sorry. Am I suppose to pick ONE of THOUSANDS of examples of dealing with the idiots that walk this planet on a day to day basis?? This is always a tricky question for me because I tend to mouth off sometimes without really thinking about what I am saying. I always want to answer with something along the lines of, "I let them continue to breathe oxygen. They were satisfied customers and returned." Seriously. I have such a low tolerance for ignorance and it surrounds me daily in many, many forms. I pat myself on the back at night for not ripping people's heads off all day.

I know that is not an appropriate response, however, so I almost always come up with one mostly crappy example. If I can't think of an example quick enough without looking like I'm grasping for anything, I usually just say something about doing the best I can to rectify the problem and take the matter up with my manager if I cannot. I am never satisfied with my own answer to the question and yet I can't bring myself to lie a little and jazz it up a bit.

The other question that bugs me the most is, "Why do you want to work for us?" Hmm....I need a job to pay my bills and feed myself? This, apparently, is not the right answer to this question. So, if being honest is not the right answer to the question at hand, then what is? I think this picture says it all:

I think that about sums it up......

For the next week, my stomach will probably be in knots with anxiety over this interview. The funny thing is that I usually rock my interviews and get the job. I usually stress myself out for nothing. So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this new job. New opportunities await me :)

I Proudly Support Oreo Because They Proudly Support Equality

2012-06-26T15:51:00.001-07:00

Right before I went to bed last night I came across this picture in my Facebook feed. It brought a very big smile to my face since I am an avid gay rights supporter. I "liked" it and went on my way with my last minute, late-night Facebook fix.

I thought nothing of this picture again until just a few minutes ago when I came across an article a friend had shared. I clicked this link and was appalled by what I read there!

Seriously people??!! You are going to boycott all Oreo and/or Kraft products because of this----> picture?? How about General Mills or Starbucks. I bet you didn't realize you would have to also boycott Microsoft, Apple, and Google. Oh, and not to mention that most car companies are also in on this, such as Chevy, Ford, Honda, Nissan, Mitsubishi and even Toyota, you would also have to boycott them. One more thing, that also would mean that you could no longer support your beloved Facebook!!

I understand that everyone is entitled their own opinions but really, I don't understand how you think that boycotting these companies is going to do anything except make you look like a giant asshole. Regardless of whether or not you buy their products, they will continue to thrive. For every single hateful comment I saw, there were at least twice as many supporters. I'd like to showcase some of those wonderful comments now:

I could really rant on and on about how ignorant I believe all the haters to be. How ignorant I believe it is to hide behind the bible to justify the hate that I saw on this picture thread. The mass support I saw, however, keeps me from really ranting.

It is ridiculous that people think going this route will change the outcome. Oreo is still going to support gay rights even if you boycott their products. Why? Because, if they pulled the ad and went back on that support it would blow up in their face. That would be what really kills their company. So, be ignorant. Keep boycotting. Just means more delicious cookies (as well as other things too!!) for all of us who actually care about equality--and just plain good food!!

**All photos were taken from Facebook here**

The "Secret" Epidemic of Slavery in Our Country: Sex Trafficking

2012-06-01T02:29:00.003-07:00

What is the first image that comes to your mind when you hear the words sex trafficking? Does your mind automatically conjure up an image of a woman from some other country on the other side of the world from you? Do you think of the young girls "patrolling" the streets attracting unknowing customers? Instead, does your mind create the image of the young woman down the street? How about that of your own daughter, or even yourself?

"It couldn't happen to me. I'm not that kind of girl."

"I don't put myself in a position to be one of those girls--for that kind of thing to happen to me."

"My daughter knows better than to talk to people like that. She knows better than to get mixed up with that kind of a crowd."

Many people think and say those very things when they hear the words sex trafficking, especially when it is brought to their attention that it is happening in America right now, as I write this. I will admit that I thought some of the same things myself when I first stumbled upon the topic. That was until I read about Shauna's story. At sixteen/seventeen years old, and just two days shy of getting her G.E.D., Shauna would become an unknowing victim of the sex industry.


Shauna Newell Source: Yahoo Image Search

Shauna was your average, white, middle-class, American teenage girl. She got good grades in school, hardly every got into trouble, dressed appropriately, and stayed away from the "bad crowd" in and out of school. She never thought she was the "kind of girl" that something like that would ever happen to.

"I always figured something like that could never happen to me because I was safe. I was always careful," Shauna Newell said in an interview. "I always thought that stuff like that only happen to people who were, like, putting themselves in that position, in that predicament. You know, like, girls who were floozies and girls who just took life for granted and I wasn't that kind of person, you know. I dressed respectably, I never showed my body off ever."

Then, Shauna met Jana, another seventeen year old girl, at school and the two became friends quickly. After being invited to her new friend's place for a sleep-over, Shauna tried very hard to get her mother to let her go. Her bargaining chip? Jana's "father" offered to meet Shauna's mother as reassurance. Despite her reservations about the man and Jana, Shauna's mother agreed to the sleep-over.

Just a few hours after leaving her mother's care for the weekend fun ahead, Shauna's world would be tipped upside-down. The man claiming to be Jana's father, probably her pimp in reality, was actually a convicted felon and Jana had a record of her own for prostitution. Her new friend had betrayed her and for the next three days Shauna would endure multiple rapes and beatings.

At one point, Shauna even overheard her captors talking about a deal that had been made with a man in Texas. She had been sold to him for $300,000 cash over the internet. The exchange never happened and after three days of torture, Shauna was rescued by her family. Shauna's captors have not been caught.

Source: Strollerderby

This story is not unique, however. Stories like Shauna's happen everyday. For example, several years ago in San Antonio, Texas a fourteen-year-old girl was kidnapped and taken several hours south to Corpus Christi. There, she was forced by her captor to work at a strip club--Club Cheetah--until she found an opportunity to escape. In a bizarre twist, the strip club actually tried to sue the young girl when they were fined for allowing her to work there. Seriously?! That just blows my mind to think about!

While drug dealing is still ranked the number one crime industry in the world, human trafficking--forced commercial sex and labor--is tied with arms dealing for second place. While most victims of human trafficking are forced into being strippers or prostitutes, it can also include victims who have been forced or tricked into domestic servitude, restaurant work, sweatshop factory work, migrant agricultural work, janitorial work and even construction work.

Source: womensstudiesjmu

There are approximately 2 million sex-trafficking victims just in the United States, with Florida, Texas, New York and California have the highest rates of sex-trafficking. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services estimates that approximately 14,000 to 20,000 victims of all nationalities are trafficked across United States borders annually. Many of the victims trafficked across the U.S. border are illegal immigrant minorities. They are, however, just a small part of the equation.

If you go to major cities you can see the signs of the sex industry. Strip clubs, massage parlors and working girls line certain parts of these cities. Most people pass these with little thought to what is going on. Customers of the industry give little thought to the girls involved.

What many people don't realize is that a good portion of those girls involved are not really willing participants. Many of those girls are underage, with some as young as 12--due to customer demands for younger and younger girls, which stem from their fears of contracting STDs--and have been kidnapped from their homes or schools, while many more are simply runaways who have been forced into the business.

Most Americans have the same beliefs about sex trafficking that Shauna had before it happened to her; that it simply doesn't happen here--not to innocent, teenaged American girls. These beliefs tend to get in the way of saving these young girls from the horrors they face in the sex trafficking trade.

Most missing teenaged girls are assumed to simply be runaways looking for attention. Once enough time has passed for the police to feel that the girl is not simply a runaway, it is usually too late to track down and save them. Some of these girls are lucky and escape or are rescued and reunited with their loved ones. Many of them, however, wind up slaves to the trafficking industry for the rest of their lives or worse, they end up dead.

This is a serious problem in our country--and all over the world--and yet almost no one ever hears about it. There is little awareness about the issue and because of this millions of young women in our country are suffering as slaves. In your very own communities in some cases, just right down the street from your home or place of work.

Source: Marc Herron

According to this National Human Trafficking Resource Center (NHTRC) map, there are between 500 and 700 calls placed to their hotline from Oregon every day. This seems like a lot, but despite the high number of calls from Oregon, many more cases of sex trafficking are still not reported every day and many young girls continue to suffer in slavery.

Oregonians Against Trafficking Humans (OATH), a human trafficking community awareness organization, has a list of human trafficking indicators, questions to ask (if you are able to speak with the suspected victim), and numbers to call to ask for help or to leave tips on their website. Help spread awareness and save these young girls from tortures of slavery.

The Three Biggest Problems in America's Schools Today

2012-05-14T00:46:00.003-07:00

Almost everyone can agree on this one simple thing: Education is important. When we think about sending our children to school, public or private, we hope that they will have the best experiences they can have there. We hope they will thrive in a loving and nurturing environment provided by licensed, experienced professionals.

While I don't have any children of my own that are of school age, I do have a few friends that do. So, in order to keep up in the conversation with my mommy friends, I've been reading about our school systems all over the country. I have to say that I am appalled by some of the stories I have encountered as of late. With each story came a little bit more disgust. Recurring themes popped out at me as I read and I realized what our biggest problems in schools today are (with the exception of teacher lay-offs and severe budget cuts--which are both separate topics of their own for another time). I narrowed them down to the three that happened to rub me the wrong way, this time.


Selecia Johnson (6 years old)

#3 Over-use (Misuse) of Police Force in Schools

Lately I've come across several articles which deal with this topic. I was rather surprised by what I've been reading. In my home town, the high school that I went to my freshman year had several police officers on campus; so the presence of police in schools is no surprise to me. I understand the need to keep drugs, gangs, and violence out of schools and in bigger cities, where these things are of more concern, I also understand the need to enforce the use of cops in those schools.

However, I was surprised to hear about a Georgia kindergartner who was handcuffed by police and escorted downtown in the back of a cruiser to the station, simply because of a tantrum she had while at school. This little girl is 6 years old. I will agree that her tantrum was out of hand. I will agree that she was endangering herself and others around her. I agree that this kind of violent outburst by anyone is unacceptable. I do not agree with handcuffing a 6 year old child and driving said child downtown to the police station. To me this just seems extreme. There are other ways in which this situation could have been handled by the adults at the school without needing to bring in the authorities.

A very similar case from last spring caught my eye as well. That of first grader, Joseph Anderson, who was arrested after having a tantrum during class because he was unhappy with how his eggs were decorated. Did I mention he is a special needs child? In my opinion, if law enforcement wants to respond to these kinds of calls, they should take the time to learn better ways of handling these situations with small children.

In another article I came across, a preschooler's drawing actually got her father arrested. In the picture, the little girl drew her father holding a gun. The child's teacher decided she didn't like what she saw in the child's drawing and called Family and Social Services. Incredibly enough, when Jessie Sansone went to pick his children up from school at the end of the day he was hand-cuffed, arrested, and strip searched in an attempt to locate the weapon!! Even more mind blowing than that is the fact that upon searching the family's home, the authorities did find a gun in the house. A toy gun, and the only one in the entire home.

Seriously?! I was pretty sure that the Bill of Rights stated that we have the right to own guns. Last time I checked that hadn't changed. Even if they had found a gun in the home, what if it had been a licensed, registered gun that is properly locked away for protection? Maybe he is a hunter and only uses it seasonally. Perhaps he is simply a gun collector. And why did no one ask the child about the drawing in question and what was being depicted in it? Whatever the case, the drawing did not depict him wielding the gun in a threatening manner or hurting anyone, therefore there was no reason whatsoever to involve the police.

#2 Bullying Amongst Students

Bullying is defined as a person enforcing their power over someone else. In movies, on TV shows and the news, and from day-to-day conversations bullying is often depicted as simple name-calling, pushing and/or hitting the victim, and stealing items such as lunch money or food. More recently, cyber bullying--using the internet and/or social media to harass, threaten, and intimidate other students--has been added to this list. While I know this is nothing new, it is still a major problem in our schools today.

Lately, I've seen more and more article in which students are being seriously injured due to bullying at school. For example, in Enid, Oklahoma a 14 year old student ended up needing to have surgery due to injuries sustained from an incident of bullying that happened at Longfellow Middle School in late April of this year. This is just horrible to think about! I couldn't imagine what either this kid or the parents are going through.

Cory Pingeton, an 18 year old high school student in Massachusetts, sustained broken bones around his eye, a swollen retina and other injuries from being sucker punched at school. A group of kids apparently thought he was talking about them behind their back. Even so, this kind of violent retaliation is uncalled for.

In another case of bullying, the end result wasn't simply broken bones and hurt emotions. A few weeks ago on April 29th in Minnesota, a 13 year old girl hung herself due to unbearable bullying. Rachel Ehmke is not the first student to commit suicide because of bullying (often referred to as bullycide)--and lately it seems to be a rising "trend" among kids who are being bullied--but she is the most recent to make headlines. Regardless, it is sad and shouldn't need to come to this kind of an act for the bullying to end.

#1 Teacher's Bullying Students!!??

Even worse than the athletic and arts program closures, school closures, and teacher lay-offs due to the extreme budget cuts our nation's education system has been faced with, is the problem of teachers who bully their students. Yes, you read that correctly. Teachers are bullying students in their own classrooms.

This is probably something that happens more often than I care to admit to myself; and until recently, it was something that had managed to stay out of the news, for the most part. Lately, however, I have read about more and more incidents of students being bullied by their teachers.

For example, there is the story of Christian Washington, a visually-impaired fourth grader, who was taped to his chair by his teacher during class! She seriously wrapped tape around this child's body and chair he was seated in simply because he was having troubles sitting still that day. I was disgusted by this article. Then I came across this one: Kelly Altenburg, New Jersey Teacher Accused Of Verbal Abuse, Put On Leave After Stuart Chaifetz Outrage. I was appalled by what I not only read but also by the video that accompanied this article. The short video clip led me to seek out Mr. Chaifetz's original video, which can be viewed below.

I can see how easy it is for teachers to bully special needs children who can't defend themselves or even tell on the teachers involved. Thinking back now, however, I can even recall a rather recent conversation with a friend of mine, in which he recalled being bullied by several teachers in the elementary school we attended together as children. I was shocked when he told me his experiences! Then there is the story of a New York math teacher, David Pecoraro, who was video-taped by a student while he swatted at and spit on a student!

It is absolutely unprofessional and unacceptable for teachers to be bullying their students, not to mention it is bad behavior modeling. No wonder student to student bullying has gotten so bad in recent years (not only because of the ease of access to the internet these days either)! When teachers bully their students they are creating terribly learning environments for their students. It is also extremely detrimental to the students' emotional development, self-esteem building, and hinders crucial child/adult trust building. This is terrible for any child to go through!

Just knowing that these things--excessive police force and bullying from all around--are happening in our school systems today, I am terrified to think of what my friend's children and my future children will have to endure just to get an education--provided that they are not all home-schooled.

For more information on bullying you can visit Stomp Our Bullying here.

A petition asking for "the swift implementation of federal anti-bullying laws" can be found here--I signed it immediately and I encourage you to do the same.

"Silverstoning": A New Feeding Craze or Just Plain Disgusting?

2012-04-12T12:52:00.001-07:00

Okay, so my first rant is going to have to be about this buzz I've been hearing about "Silverstoning". I had been hearing the term and curiosity did get the better of me so I, of course, did a little research of my own to figure out what this was. I have to say, I am thoroughly disgusted.

For those of you who are unaware of what the term means, "Silverstoning" (which is technically referred to as premastication) is when you pre-chew your child's food and then spit it in their mouth as if they were a bird, just like Alicia Silverstone does for her 11-month-old son, Bear. EW! Seriously?

Seriously....How disgusting is that?? But, to each their own, right?

I thought to myself, "She has got to be nuts! That's disgusting!" But Silverstone adamantly defends her position to feed her son this way saying, "People have been feeding their kids that way for thousands of years. It's a weaning process."

Okay, I get that some mothers have a difficult time weaning their children onto solid foods and there may even be a few "up-sides" to premastication--such as, research claims that it could aid in a baby's digestion and even increase immunity in areas where there are health risks like lack of clean water (I would assume mainly third world countries?)--but aren't there better ways to wean a child? I would think that all the "down-sides" to premastication would make people--especially celebrities who can afford to not do stupid shit like this--think twice about it.

Aside from the obvious "down-side" of potentially giving your child a nasty cold or virus that you may not even be aware that you have yet, it can also severely damage your child's teeth. With all the research and studies that have been done pointing out that the human mouth is one of the "dirtiest" things on the planet--even dog's mouths and toilet seats in some research cases--why would parents think that swapping mouth bacteria with their child on a regular basis is NOT bad for their health??

I also have to wonder at what age does the child feed himself? 10 and 11 months old is well old enough in my book (I worked at a daycare center for almost three years with children ranging in ages of 4 weeks to 12 years old) to be feeding themselves. Sure they are going to make a mess and drop food but that is all part of learning to be an independent person, correct? Why do parents feel the need to continue to do every tiny thing for their children these days? Don't they realize they are just setting their children up for failure in the future by not letting them learn anything or do anything on their own (this question could, by itself, bring on a whole other rant but I'll leave it be for now)?