Rantings of The Talakawa (Proles' Pyrotechnics)

LEPRECHAUN'S POT OF BLACK GOLD I : Workers and Soldiers in the Ant Colony

2012-02-03T02:50:00.000-08:00

Labor unions in Nigeria actually precede the 1914 amalgamation of the Northern and Southern Protectorates to form ‘Nigeria’.

As at 1912, government employees had a civil service union which became Nigerian Union of Civil Servants in 1914.

By 1931, two other major unions were founded: the Nigerian Railway Workers Union and the Nigerian Union of Teachers (which included private-school teachers).

The Unions became legal entities in 1938, and was followed by rapid labor organization during World War II as a result of passage by the British government of the Colonial Development and Welfare Act of 1940, which encouraged the establishment of unions in the colonies.

In June and July of 1945, 43,000 workers providing key services went on a strike that lasted more than forty (40) days.

This strike was provoked by the defense regulation of October 1942 (which interestingly made strikes and lockouts illegal for the duration of the World War II) denying African workers the cost-of-living allowances that European civil servants received. Wages were sparsely increased, even in the face of escalating cost of living.

Consequent upon the strike's success, the labor movement grew steadily and by 1950 there were 144 unions with more than 144,000 members.

The Labour Unions became the only organized voice of dissent from the Military intervention of 1966, and defied Military decrees outlawing Strikes all through. However, there were several factions.

In 1974, the four central labour organisations of Nigeria were the Nigerian Trade Union Congress (NTUC) led by Wahab Goodluck, the Labour Unity Front (LUF) led by Michael Imoudu, the Nigerian Workers Council (NWC) led by Ramon and the United Labour Congress of Nigeria led by Kaltungo and Odeyemi (ULCN).

Only the ULCN was officially recognized by the Nigerian government. In that year, the four groups merged to form one central labor organisation, the Nigeria Labour Congress with Wahab Goodluck as the pioneer President.

By 1977, the Obasanjo Military Administration had banned eleven labor leaders (including Michael Imoudu, Wahab Goodluck and Samuel Bassey) from further union activity. Under terms of a 1978 labor decree amendment, the more than 1,000 previously existing unions were reorganized into 70 registered industrial unions under the NLC, now the sole central labor organization. The Government was apparently acting on the petitions written by Pascal Bafyau and Hudson Momodu. A committed and transparent leader, Comrade Hassan Sunmonu, emerged from this crisis as head of the NLC.

Comrade Hassan Sunmonu was underrated because he was the first leader to emerge from the Senior Cadre of the Civil Service. At the time he launched ‘The Workers’ Charter of Demands’ in February 1980, and demanded a Minimum Wage of N300, insisting also that the Minimum Pension must not be lower than the Minimum Wage, not many took him serious.

Until May 11 1981.

As the World awoke to the death of the Legendary Bob Marley, Nigeria woke up to a crippling general strike!

The government resorted to intimidation at first, and the recorded goof of going after Comrade Hassan’s identical twin brother Hussein in hot pursuit in a classic case of mistaken identity ensued. Eventually the Government had to succumb to negotiations and a compromise of N125 was reached.

The return of the Military Junta in 1983 took its toll on Labour, the ‘freezing’ of Workers Wages in spite of soaring inflation, the detention of Alhaji Ali Ciroma, the then NLC President , and some other Labour leaders under the Babangida Regime during the Subsidy Removal Protest. The Babangida administration eventually succeeded in installing a 5^th columnist: Pascal Bafyau (the reader might need to go back three paragraphs if he/she is encountering this name for the first time in this article). He was the Labour leader till the dissolution of NLC in 1994 under the Abacha regime.

It was against this backdrop that PENGASSAN and NUPENG suffered a heavy blow in 1994 in the heat of the June 12 struggle (the movement to actualize the mandate given to the late Businessman/Politician, Bashorun MKO Abiola on the 12^th June 1993). Unknown to most Nigerians, Pascal Bafyau was meant to be MKO Abiola’s running mate as scripted by the ‘Army Caucus’ but Abiola picked Alhaji Babagana Kingibe.

NUPENG was worst hit, with Frank Kokori (General Secretary) being detained Four (4) Years (he was released Nine (9) days after Abacha’s death on June 17^th 1998. The Late Wariebi Agamene, the President of NUPENG, was released much earlier (December 31, 1995). PENGASSAN’s Milton Dabibi (General Secretary) was arrested and detained January 1996 till June 1998.

Under Bafyau, the NLC received N50 million for the construction of NLC National Secretariat in Abuja and N100 million for the Federal Urban Mass Transit program. These monies were not accounted for.

This provides a backdrop for the controversy that greeted the N2.3-out-of-5 billion NLC/TUC China Bus deal that made the news 21-22^nd October 2011, the ghost of which ‘re-emerged’ in the heat of the ‘Palliative’ debate that came up following the fuel-price-hike-fuel-subsidy-removal-whatever drama of January 1^st 2012.

Years of Military incursion and unwholesome meddling morphed the Labour Union into what it is today. The Obasanjo 2005 Labour Reforms made Union Membership non-compulsory. While it empowers Union Members to pull out or threaten to, when they feel their Welfare concerns are not being attended to, it unfortunately became a powerful weapon in the hands of Employers who now compel members NOT to join Unions.

Today, one can say categorically, that the NLC tragically falls short of its Mission Statement:

‘…………….. to organize, unionize and educate all categories of Nigerian workers; defend and advance the political, economic, social and cultural rights of Nigerian workers; emancipate and unite Nigerian workers and people from all forms of exploitation and discrimination; achieve gender justice in the work place and in NLC; strengthen and deepen the ties and connections between Nigerian workers and the mutual/natural allies in and outside Nigeria and; lead the struggle for the transformation of Nigeria into a just, humane and democratic society.’

The NLC that rose on January 29 1999 out of the ashes of the Abacha tyranny has been reduced to ‘Pump Price Negotiating Unit’ without much recourse to other areas of welfare affecting the Nigerian Workers. Occasional Significant pickets of Multinational Companies tend to miraculously ‘miss’ the 9-10 O’ Clock News, even in an era of ‘Private Media’.

Perhaps, the onus lies significantly on Civil Society Groups, as exemplified with the Occupy Nigeria Rallies, and even such Rallies would have to device means of sustenance should NLC pull the plug.

It is this Writer’s opinion that Opposition Parties can build their strength by actively resisting State Policies that tend to be repressive on the people whose votes they seek in forth-coming elections. While the PDP led Government may try to intimidate Opposition by calling them ‘embittered losers’, it is my experience that Nigerians with time, eventually get to judge sincerity when evident.

Afterall, the Tyranny of Mugabe has only been restrained by the Opposition Parties to his ruling ZANU-PF Party.

.....TO BE CONTINUED

NOT JOS A SONG: MEMOIRS OF A CREMATED CITY

2011-10-18T02:34:00.000-07:00

I still recall vividly, my first visit to Jos, missing the Nigeria Airways Flight WT 301 (First Flight) and having to wait for the Second Flight in company of my Mum and my Elder Sister.

While waiting for the second flight, we met a lady who was taking her younger brother to Jos for the same Command Secondary School Entrance Interview I was going for.

We lodged at TATI Hotels, sharing a luxury room with Olumide Adedoyin and his big sister. We were meeting at the Airport for the first time, yet we had no qualms about sharing hotel rooms. That was how it used to be in the ‘80s!

Command was going to lodge the Candidates for the period of the interview, leaving two adults and a Pre-teen behind in the Room. Fast forward to today, would you share Hotel Rooms with someone you’re meeting at the Airport for the first time?

We both gained admission, and at the risk of being vain, I shall disclose that I made it at an overall Seventh (7th) position. With the offer of being a day student at King’s College (which was turned down because my Mum preferred I boarded), an eventual reposting to Federal Government College (FGC), Okigwe (Imo State) with a promise I would be transferred the second year to join my cousins in FGC Port Harcourt, another offer letter for Command Day Secondary School, Ikeja, I did not hesitate to jump at the offer to go to Jos.

Going through a Nigerian Army funded School during the Babangida Administration meant a lot, for one, Unity Schools are equalizers. From the Child/Ward of an Army Private, a Lagos based Civil Servant, or of Generals like the Shagayas and Madakis of that time, we were all clad in Olive Green Shirts/blouses over UAC Green Trousers/Pinafores/Skirts. No one wore Shorts in Jos; it was too freaking cold!

This setting was also the NIFETEP/TELEFEST Television Festival era, the time a prototype Hollywood known as the TV Village in Jos was at the peak of her glory. The Mentas (Papa Bitrus, anyone?), the Amatas, Sadiq Dabas those we would have called TV gods came freely to our schools to visit their Kids, Alas! We never deemed it fit to ask for autographs.

My mid-term breaks were spent in ITF Quarters, Hilltop Estate in Miango. Mrs Okoro, God rest her soul, was my Guardian. Modele, one of her daughters, who is doing well as a Soul Artist used to taunt me because the strict regimen ensured I remained pitifully thin. I went with them to St Piran’s Anglican Church during those breaks. Schooling in a Military setting ensured you are either a Catholic, Protestant, or a Muslim. Having further Denominations was a luxury the Nigerian Army regimen couldn’t afford.

I recall how students after the first week in school were stripped, made to roll on bathroom floors with water poured on them while they were flogged with belts while they chanted ‘I am a toad, I have a long tail, cut it for me’ .

We bore the pain as Junior Students, looking forward to our ascension to ‘Boarding School god’ status the day we become Senior Students. That hope was however dashed when the then Commandant, Lt. Col Azubuike, later replaced by Lt. Col Edward Vincent (that was their rank back then) restructured the boarding system such that students were placed in Hostels based on their Classes. With the exception of the House Prefects, any Senior Student found in Junior Hostels was summoned on Assembly Grounds the next day and portrayed as ‘going to Junior Hostels to beg for food’. There we were, faced with the task of washing our Toilets while preparing for the Certificate Examinations. These things have a way of taking their toll; Command Secondary School Jos recorded an abysmal failure rate that Academic Year. ‘Protest Vandalism’ also peaked at this period.

Just like the youths trapped in the Projects of South Bronx in the ‘70s New York, the harsh conditions of the Boarding Schools in the ‘80s made us find solace in Hiphop. Neighboring schools like Naraguta Grammar School, St John, Joseph, Murumbas had seen better days. The government of the day for whatever reason was in no way friendly towards Mission Schools. They had been largely ‘taken-over’ and severely under funded. The only Mission Schools that remained at an all-time-high were Hillcrest and Kent Academy. They were American Schools that had some room for ‘Nigerian Ajebutters’ whose parents could afford the fees. Although the Nigerian Music Industry of that age was Reggae inundated, Jos remained a Hiphop territory. You did not have to be super-rich to have your Hiphop gear, Katako Market sold high quality, fairly used ones. My only disdain for Katako Market back then is that our clothes that ‘disappeared’ from the lines usually found their way to that same market. I remember a certain classmate, Odunayo Babajide who walked up to one of the School Cooks allegedly sporting his stolen Sweatshirt. All the cook said was ‘see me see trouble o! wetin I go buy for Katako Market!’ (What trouble is this?! I bought it from Katako Market!)

Power outages were few and far between (yet we complained), the school had a Power Plant, anyway. Sometimes, however, the Plant could be down or not powered on time, this was good news to us because it afforded us our Hiphop moments. Students would improvise for Strobe lights by flashing torches, while some scratched the top of wooden hostel lockers with coins in a rhythmic manner that would make a DJ Grand Wizard Theodore green with envy, others would beat lockers like drums while we took the ‘stage’ to break-dance, rap and at times sing. Knowing lyrics to Rap hits earned you respect and I was good at it till my Elder Sister scared me that my academic performance would drop if I kept using the space in my brain meant for my Science subjects for Rap lyrics. I never stopped, but I slowed down a bit.

Black Stereo Decks showed up at the turn of the ‘90s. For a Hundred and Fifty (150) Naira, you could buy a good one; however, for some of us who were on 50-100 Naira allowance, a three worded phrase: PERISH THE THOUGHT!
Although I said the School Uniform was a leveler, having a Stereo Deck (which you had to hide from the authorities) was an exception. Even with the Uniforms, some of us took the liberty of making sure our Uniforms were made of more expensive materials and we had designer sandals to match. Unfortunately, the term I persuaded my Mum to buy ‘Basket’ designer sandals for me, the then Admin officer, Captain Abang apprehended us all and asked us to toss them in a dry Well. Billows of smoke at break time confirmed the Admin Officer meant business. Funny enough, of the next set of sandals he impounded but this time hesitated to dump in the Well, a pair belonged to a friend of mine whose father was a Navy Commander. Based on ‘orders from above, the Commandant not only reprimanded him, he was asked to return the shoes! So much for equality and ‘leveler’!

Nasco biscuits thrived at a time imported biscuits could not be bought ‘off the counter’ these biscuits were made in Jos and there were so many varieties. Our best then was the Lincoln biscuit because it afforded some ‘status symbol’. Sold at One Naira, Twenty Kobo ( N1.20), It was the financial equivalent of a loaf, three packs of groundnut and one sweet. With a school recommended Pocket Money of Twenty Naira only, you do not get to buy that for twenty days in a Term of an average of Ninety (90) days per term!

There was something about the Lincoln biscuit that made it taste heavenly in Jos and very ordinary when you’re eating it in Lagos, at least till the Babangida SAP (Structural Adjustment Programme) took its toll and Maize flour became a substitute for Wheat flour.

We tried hard to save money for the vacations. Those that could afford to, bought Irish Potatoes at the Heipang located Jos Airport to take home to our Parents/Guardians. Some of us were so broke even the Taxi fare from the Airports had to be paid by our folks.

I remember the Eatery revolution, when PeeJays, arguably the first Burger Joint in Jos was opened. In spite of the rumors that it was owned by the then Commandant of our school, a lot of us still scaled the school fence to buy ‘Sierra Burgers and Quarter-Pounders’.

Our most frequented spot when we sneaked out of school however, was the Farin Gada Market where we bought a particular yellow colored loaf we branded ‘FG Loaf’. Some students were die-hard entrepreneurs. They resold the loaf in the hostels at double the price, and four times the price if you are purchasing on credit. Some of these guys have risen to CEO levels both home and abroad today, if only their business rivals knew these guys ‘cut their business teeth’ right from Secondary School!

I remember looking at the Hills, the Younger Granites that form the bulk of the Jos Plateau while longing for home. The gently sloping landscape afforded an opportunity to have an ‘aerial view’ of the city without being air-borne. At that point in my life, I never knew I would end up a Geologist, studying rocks and learning about the same Plateau I only had the opportunity to climb during my admission interview.
Unknown to me, those Six Years would turn out to be enough to bind my heart to the City that schooled me.

Vultures hovered around our School Chimney and perched on our dustbins, they were so common place in my school that they lent some credence to the Urban Legend that the school is located in an ancient burial site. We were also suspicious of Chicken Barbeque out of fear that the ‘chicken’ is actually Angulu (Vulture)…If only we knew there were other ‘Vultures’ we should worry about. The same Jos that became a refuge for those fleeing the Maitatsine riots of the ‘80s would later be engulfed by infernal vultures, leaving us with sorrowful Memoirs of a Cremated City.

PS: Visit the following Sites, download the Not Jos A Song Track and leave your comments on the Blog:

http://www.thenetng.com/2011/10/01/netpod-its-not-jos-a-song-plumbline-feat-ese-peters/

http://tooxclusive.com/2011/10/01/kraftmatiks-presents-plumbtifex-jos-song-ft-ese-peters/

http://www.gidilounge.com/?p=25774

http://popoffcentral.blogspot.com/2011/10/new-music-not-jos-song-krafmatiks.html

http://mthirty3.com/2011/10/01/kraftmatiks-presents-plumbtifex-ft-ese-peters-%E2%80%93-not-jos-a-song/

http://olorisupergal.blogspot.com/2011/10/new-music-not-jos-song-plumbtifex-ft.html

http://www.jellofmusic.com/magazine/read/it-is-not-jos-a-song_16.html

http://www.jaguda.com/2011/10/04/kraftmatiks-presents-plumbtifex-not-jos-a-song-ft-ese-peters/

http://www.jellofmusic.com/magazine/read/it-is-not-jos-a-song_16.html

JOHNNY WAS A GOOD MAN

2011-08-01T07:58:00.000-07:00

I do apologize for the protracted delay in chronicling my Rants in recent times.

If, like me, you have been sucked into the Centrifuge called the Nigerian Debacle, you will more than empathize with my situation.

Foresight is a Gift and a Curse. The same way you are privileged to see what others can’t see, you are condemned to be the only one seeing it.

I personally am amazed at the outcry coming on the heels of the Term Limit/Tenure Elongation bid as proposed by the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Why is anyone surprised?

Goodluck Ebele Jonathan (Ph. D), May 26^th, 2011, Pre-Inauguration Lecture, Quote:

“Four years is too short for a President or a Governor to embark on any meaningful programme because it takes about a year or two before the administration settles down even with the right set of Ministers or Commissioners. Then, if the latter turn out “not to be good”, after one year or two, the President or Governor is compelled to reshuffle his cabinet and by the time the new cabinet settles down, it is time for another election, and everyone is busy trying to win an election”

What amazes me is that this same Administration promised to ‘Hit the ground running’; indeed, the President is hitting the ground running; FROM REAL ISSSUES!

Visualize the President’s desk: Boko-Haram, Electricity, Security, Decaying/Decayed Infrastructure, Rising Ocean Tides and Consequent Flooding, and Corruption, among the several priority clutters and B-A-N-G! The only file that Lights a Mega-Watt Bulb in the head of this Ph. D holder is ‘Tenure Elongation to Discourage Do-Or-Die Politics’! I hear he does not plan to benefit from the Proposed amendment; Bravo! How Altruistic!

Since Mr. President is interested in ‘using Paracetamol for another man’s headache’, I have a whole lot of Altruistic proposals that we’d all thank him for, like splitting his allowance in half and ‘blessing’ me with it.

Poser: What happens to the Governors who are currently on First Term? Are they automatically disqualified? And if they are free to run again, does that automatically make them entitled to the prospect of a cumulative 10 (Ten) Year Term? How about the 10 (ten) other States running different electoral calendars due to the mess created by the 2007 elections a la Maurice Iwu? Governor Obi of Anambra, would have served his two terms by 2014; will the 2015 effective date be retroactive? In the case of the notorious tenure extension obtained by the Governors of Adamawa, Sokoto, Cross River, Kogi and Bayelsa States, if a new Governor comes in, will he be synced-by-force into the 2015 timeline or the Calendars continue to vary like the time zones of the United States?

Let’s look a tad away from that. What bars Goodluck Jonathan Constitutionally from seeking another Term in 2015? His Words??!! Are you freaking kidding me? The same words that ‘Hits the ground running’, right?

Let’s push that to the side, I have this eerie feeling we are being entertained again.

I see, if care is not taken, a long drawn debate over this term-limit. This will amount to waste of time, money and probably bring the dimension of the theatrics we witnessed in 1999-2007 where fisticuffs and furniture throwing became the norm.

Let’s assume the Lawmakers all nod their ‘Ayes’ like zombies. What do we get?

Let’s see all that has been touted as the ‘Pros’ of this Term-Limit.

Seven year tenure will mean that election will be held every six years instead of four years which means less money will be spent on elections.

Politicians spend, and will always spend, regardless. Less money on elections does not guarantee less money on colossal wastage. If the president wants to save money, there are lots of candidates for ‘Expenditure Trimming’

Seven year single term may encourage some presidents or governors to take bold steps with regard to the economic, political or social policies they think will benefit the country in the short and long-run without fear of negative backlash when they seek re-election.

Nigerian Politicians do not think that way, in my own opinion. Besides, it’s a two-edged sword, the same way; presidents/governors could do a lot of things that are detrimental to the Electorate without the fear of any backlash whatsoever.

Zoning will be easier to implement across the six geo-political zones in a seven year single term compared to what we have now.

That is assuming PDP remains the ruling Party forever. Besides, the twists introduced in Nigerian scripts by some force majeure in recent times should make even the staunchest supporter of ‘zoning’ wary of high expectations.

Nigerians have not yet devised means to hold elected officers accountable. As a matter of fact, the closest the Electorate gets to justice is by ‘voting out’ underachievers. Denying them of this last resort is extremely frustrating. Recent turn of events has left some bile on the tongues of those who voted for ‘the man and not his Party’ in the last elections. If a product can be separated outright from its brand, there will be no reason for anyone to prefer Coke to Pepsi or vise versa.

That brings me to the incumbency factor. Would this Term-Limit stop the incumbent from imposing his own Stooge?

With the PDP Board of Trustees (BOT) headship seat being the exclusive privilege of an Elected/Selected President who has served his full term, the Obasanjo (OBJ) Third-Term agenda was only defeated in principle, not in practice. While the myth pervading the South-West currently assumes a decline in OBJ’s influence, his fingerprints are so ‘everywhere’ you don’t need a forensic expert to pick them.

Should Goodluck Jonathan graciously step down in 2015 as promised, he becomes the only contender (against OBJ) for that BOT headship seat. Win or lose, should the PDP win in 2015 again, the incoming President would only be an OBJ-GEJ (and possibly UMY (Umar Musa Yar Adua’s ghost’s) appendage.

How does that put paid, then, to Do-or-Die Politics?

Was the then incumbent Governor of Lagos State, Bola Ahmed Tinubu seeking re-election when Funsho Williams was gruesomely murdered? Was there any known attempt on the same Funsho Williams’ life when he contended against Tinubu in 2003?

The unfortunate Post-Election violence of 2011 appears to be the one with massive carnage in recent times, for Goodluck Jonathan to say the desire of the incumbent to perpetuate himself in power is responsible for do-or-die politics….I will only advise it does not amount to an unwitting self-indictment.

I found something really interesting from the recent remarks of Lt.-General Jeremiah Useni (rtd) at the emergency meeting held with the President on Boko Haram. He claims the sect was originally set up by politicians to rig elections in Borno State but had gone out of hand. Question: Does that put Ustaz Mohammed Yusuf on the same pedestal as Asari Dokubo? The average Nigerian militant groups; are they mere rag-tag teams who seek seasonal recruitments and some largesse from the Federal Government? Does the Term-Limit, consequently, hold the innate ability to put paid every form of Pre-Syn-Post-Electoral Violence?

I personally think Dr Goodluck Jonathan should focus his energy on delivering his campaign promises, including the ‘Domestic Airports in every State in Nigeria with Jigawa as the focal point’ (whatever that means to that man on the Street) instead of providing us with so much Entertainment. His investment in the Entertainment Industry should take good care of that.

*Slots in a Bob Marley CD, singing along…Ahn Ahn..Ahn Ahn Ahn..Johnny was a good man!*

THE ALMAJIRI, THE OSTRICH AND THE GUN-POWDER KEG

2011-05-24T04:00:00.001-07:00

I took a break of some sorts out of a deliberate intent. The Nigerian Pre-Post-Election violence and the attendant loss of lives and property is still fresh in our memories and it will be outrightly insensitive to hold to one side of perceived truth at a time we are inundated with propaganda.

The first Casualty in a war is truth and we don’t need to hear the drones of warships to know we are in one.

In my first post, THE CAP FITS, I casually described the Al Majiri as destitute in defining the Talakawa concept, so I come today to probe a bit further.

What does Al-Majiri mean?

Ask the average Southerner who has been inundated with Newspapers of the South for the South and by the South, all he sees is a set of ‘miscreants’ who kill Southern Christians in the North.

Some questions however continue to linger: If the Al-Majiri are guilty as charged, why do we not have a massive clampdown and outright proscription a la Boko Haram style? as for Boko Haram, why were Ustaz Mohammed Yusuf and Alhaji Buji Foi dispatched in haste before confessional statements could be extracted? Why has the activities of this group peaked since then, unlike that of the Maitatsine sect when Mohammed Marwa Maitatsine was killed? (it is noteworthy that the Boko Haram leaders were killed in cold blood, unlike Maitatsine who was killed in action)

You know, it’s easy to grow up on Ted Turner’s CNN; Rupert Murdoch’s Fox and miss out the fact that there is a huge media gap between the North and the Southern part of Nigeria. Major Newspapers which are printed in down South Lagos State do not get to the North till the next day, the average ‘Northerner’ believes strongly in the Gospel according to BBC because BBC has full Hausa service broadcast!

While the Arab world decided to build up Al Jazeera to tell their own side of the story, we sit down on our lazy butts and prefer the cyber-militant approach.

Who is the Al-Majiri ?

Let me start by stating that a good number of words used in Hausa parlance were derived from Arabic roots. Al-Majiri is derived from Al-Muhajirin/Al-Muhajirun (the emigrants) and the concept began from the early, initial Muslims who followed Prophet Muhammad on his Hijra (withdrawal from Mecca to Medina). If you are a lover of syntax, you would notice the root similarity between Hajirun, Hijra and the word El-Hajj/Alhaji.

The concept later evolved to include anyone who forsakes material comfort in quest for Islamic knowledge. The great reformer, Usman Dan Fodio (whose words ‘Conscience is an open wound, only truth can heal it’ ironically graces the Editorial column of The Guardian) would fit in perfectly into this.

It is however sad that fast-forward to this present day, calling anyone Al-Majiri sounds extremely insultive.

Usman Dan Fodio had no ‘Western Education’ but he wrote about 480 poems in Arabic, Fulfulde and Hausa; what is the modern Al Majiri in the North taught today?

For a man from a family of affluence to leave all the comfort behind for ‘spiritual’ purposes is not unique to Islam. There are Buddhist Monks the same way there are Convents in the Catholic Church. As at 1204, the man later revered as The Poor Man of Assisi (Father Francis) who was the son of a wealthy cloth merchant, left all the affluence for a life of poverty and service.

Unfortunately, itinerancy is no longer necessarily synonymous with the quest for knowledge (if you will ignore the increasing rate Nigerians are sending their wards abroad for Tertiary/Post-Tertiary education), even worse, the circumstances have changed.

The new trend has it that the Quranic instructor migrates to the city, recruits Al Majiris from nearby villages; preferably ages Seven to Fifteen, these recruits are laden with the burden of fending for themselves and bringing ‘returns’ to their instructor. I still recall the drama in 1998 at the Fidau prayers for the late General Sanni Abacha when a ‘Mallam’ set his Al Majiri on the food meant for guests because he was not ‘attended to properly’!

Anyone familiar with Western flicks will have a clear understanding that the easiest way to create a brute is alienation. Separate a child from his parents and make him hunt for the bare necessities of life and you have in your hands a potential ruthless murderer.

We are quick to mock those who kill ‘infidels’ with the hope of having a harem of ‘wide-eyed houris’ in the afterlife but we never bother to wonder what makes this present life so unappealing that the afterlife beckons with so much promises. Why would the average ‘Southerner’ prefer to hang on to the vicissitudes of this life instead of the promise of a better hereafter? To answer that, I’d quote Sam Cooke in his song ‘A change’s gonna come’

It's been too hard living but I'm afraid to die
Cuz I don't know what's up there beyond the sky

How ironic it is then that Sam Cooke tragically was killed at the age of 33 and the same song became the anthem of the courageous American Civil-Rights Movement of the 1960s.

A man who has lost everything is someone no one should trifle with; ditto a man with nothing to lose. The Northern Nigeria has suffered years of neglect which benefited the Masu Sarauta to the detriment of their own people, the high-point of which was the clinical trial of the ‘Trovan trojan’ vaccine which left several children dead or maimed in the wake. Pfizer’s complicity in the issue still remains a big knot in the throat of our collective history as Nigerians.

That is what amuses me about the ‘Zoning’ arrangement. The average man from the South will say ‘The North’ has ruled Nigeria for long, really?!! When we say ‘North’, are we referring to geography or demography?

Chief Obafemi Awolowo was only a Premier/ Opposition leader when he revolutionized the South-West. The Cocoa house (first skyscraper in tropical Africa), the first TV Station in Africa, the Liberty Stadium (first of its kind in Africa) Oduduwa group, Free Education and Healthcare are the legacies he left behind and he was never the President. The whole nation pays lip-service to Awolowo today; ironically, he was rejected at the polls for two clear dispensations!

In contrast, and I do not intend to be insultive, the Northern ‘leadership’ had nothing to do with Northern interest. The closest the North ever had was with Mallam Aminu Kano, and unfortunately, his vision for the emancipation of the Talakawa is far from being nurtured to fruition since his demise.

One huge problem I see militating against the ideologies of Mallam Aminu Kano is the faulty reasoning prevalent in the North and at times propagated in the South that poverty and riches lie solely at the prerogative of destiny. Rabonka in Hausa, Kadara/Ayanmo in Yoruba and Akala-aka in Igbo. That exactly is the bane of the Al Majiri.

With no hope for a better life in the now, a man promised a better after-life if he can kill a perceived enemy that has kept him entrapped in that system would not hesitate to do so.

If the 2006 census puts the Al Majiri population in Kano alone at a whopping 1.2 million, it is only a question of time before we are compelled to stop playing the Ostrich.

I for one do not necessarily hold the view that Western Education is Superior, having been exposed to deeper Poetry than I ever found in English Language in the Yoruba dialect for instance, while witnessing the advancement of the Asian tigers in the field of medicine. Mathematics, I have mentioned in a previous post is far developed in the Arabic world.

My grouse is, the education of the Al Majiri should go beyond ‘Alif-ba-ta-ta-gim-ha’, horsewhips and Street-begging to advanced education where they can aspire to become someone in this life.

Leaving them in this current state is an invitation to imminent anarchy…and Yes, I SAID IT.

LOLs AND HEARTBREAKS

2011-04-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

I have come to the conclusion lately that nothing locks me in the Writers’ Block more than a clueless government.

It unnerves me more than the prospect of having a Botox-made Dictator with a harem of Female virgin bodyguards.

While I would love to ‘thank’ the PDP-led Government for distinguishing itself as the Primus Inter Pares of all my ‘many inspirations’ (would I rant if they were nice?), I dare say that the same Government is the source of my protracted Writers’ Block!

Ever heard of information overload? Ever wondered why, the same water that all Living Beings need to survive (to the best of my knowledge) turns out to be their death once it exceeds the threshold of supply.

Each time I try to start another piece; another incident just succeeds in overtaking it. From the Olebode George (deliberately mis-spelt, go figure) thanksgiving service to the re-arrest of a Gubernatorial candidate who just got granted bail on the grounds that the current Inspector General of Police is either dumb, arrogant, stupid or a combination of all for not understanding the Maxim semper necessitas probandi incumbit ei qui agit (the necessity of proof always lies with the person who lays charges).

For someone being charged for Treason and Murder, as it is in the case of Senator Akpan Udoedehe, the Gubernatorial Candidate in Akwa-Ibom under the platform of ACN (Action Congress of Nigeria), which, if convicted, attracts the maximum penalty of a DEATH SENTENCE, the least you should do, Mr Dumbo, is gather false-witnesses and photoshopped pictures to at least substantiate your claim.

At least Justice Ibrahim Auta, the culprit in Ken Saro Wiwa’s Judicially-obtained-licence-to-murder case, backed up his point by attributing his sentence to a statement allegedly made by Ken (and for those of you who do not know, this Auta dude just got elevated to the post of the Acting Chief Judge of the Federal High Court).

Nigerians love pictures, perhaps more than the Chinese. A cannibal gets arrested and in a minute, emergency almanacs pop-up and sell very fast.

I guess Engineer Rauf Aregbesola was wise in not showing up when a similar incident happened in Osun State in the wake of the 2007 elections. The not-so-long-ago-sacked Governor, Olagunsoye Oyinlola had declared Aregbesola wanted following the outbreak of post-election violence; perhaps Uncle Hafiz is a tad more devoted than his predecessors; how else would you explain arresting someone who just got granted bail with the deployment of 50 Mobile Policemen citing ‘Orders from above’.

Nigeria must be a very Godly Nation…too many ‘Gods’ giving orders from ‘above’ and these ‘Gods’ are inundated with pantheons of personal Al-Nabi.

Now here’s the update: After the Federal High Court granted him bail and he was re-arrested, Udoedehe got paraded before a Magistrate Court in Uyo, where the Chief Magistrate, Edet Obot admitted he lacked jurisdiction in such matters, but would remand the accused in Prison Custody! That is based on a ‘NEW LAW’ (Criminal Procedure Amendment Law passed into law by the Akwa Ibom State House of Assembly on March 31st 2011 - Note that the crime was allegedly committed on March 22^nd ) on the instance of the incumbent Governor Godswill Akpabio which empowers the governor to jail anyone for up to 14 days without trial! Nigeria is indeed inundated with ‘Gods’!

As I write, there is another Federal High Court Ruling ordering the unconditional release of the accused but Brother Hafiz is still dragging his feet; by the way, how come I am sooo uncomfortable with a man whose name is RIGim???

On the day the Parliamentary elections were to hold, a PontiusPilatic (another from the Rantimus Dictionary) situation was brewing in far away Dubai. James Onanefe Ibori, who was held in Dubai over a grievous money laundering charge, and could not be extradited to the United Kingdom because of a convenient Real Estate Fraud charge which keeps him in the United Arab Emirates until it is ‘resolved’, suddenly gets released on ‘humanitarian’ grounds on account of failing health! Talk about the release of Barabbas by Pontius Pilate! I have heard people say ‘At least he’s not permitted to come back to Nigeria’; Big Deal!

Bernie Madoff must be regretting he is not Nigerian! With a projected release date of November 14, 2139 (don’t laugh) which may be commuted on account of ‘good behaviour’ , I wonder how he’d feel reading about how his ‘Nigerian counterparts’ fared.

There is something about election dates that unnerves me. Let’s play with some superstition here. April 19 2003, does it ring a bell? That, as well as April 12^th was the date of the Second Election season in this Fourth Republic. The Presidential/Gubernatorial elections took place on the 19^th. Now, write April 19 2003 in the MM/DD/YY format, what do you get? 041903. Indeed, the election turned out to be a 419 (by now you should be used to what 419 is; it’s a steep learning curve if you don’t!) election. That was when Election Rigging in Nigeria attained a Platinum status! I call it Nigeria’s Rigging Golden Age.

Well, the 2007 was already branded do-or-die; so it was already Done-Dead-on Arrival, there is no need to be Parabolic about that.

Fast-forward to 2011 and someone decides to fix an election on the date of the April Fool’s Aftermath! What do you expect then?

I would not join those calling for Attahiru Jega’s head, but I am of the strong opinion that his head is hanging loosely on his neck. For a University Don who had risen to the post of Vice-Chancellor (I refuse to brood on the outcome of having two University Dons as President and Vice-President from 2007 till the death of one in 2010) I do not know what to make of the ‘logistics’ issue that eventually led to the April 2^nd botched Parliamentary elections. Is there more to it than he is telling? Time will tell what JEGA’s not telling.

The wanton show of shame from the Judiciary calls for despair. If a man can be locked up for ‘insulting a State Governor’ over the Social media and following the outcry that necessitated his release, hounded till he and his father fled the State, if a Governor can order ‘Detention without Trial’ at the time the Specter of Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay still haunts America’s soul, if the Judiciary can be used to elongate the tenures of those who stole mandates..

I wonder if this does not bring back the very words of Major Kaduna Nzeogwu the enigmatic revolutionary a lot of Nigerians love to hate: “IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO VOTE OUT A NIGERIAN MINISTER”

I still have faith in the polls. I salute the efforts of my friends who have made software applications that enable a Corporate-Vigilante approach towards election monitoring.

The question remains, in the likely circumstance that the Will of the people is subverted once more, HOW FAR ARE WE WILLING TO GO?

President Goodluck Jonathan has promised that the Nigerian youth will LOL soon; so I welcome you all to a season of LOLs and Heartbreaks!

THE LOTUS-EATERS (CONCLUDED)

2011-02-11T06:23:00.000-08:00

(Continued from previous post)

I read the papers some days ago. Over a decade after the Zaki-Biam massacre, the then President Olusegun Obasanjo says he only responded to the then governor George Akume’s request to deploy troops.

How about the massacre in Odi, where livestock were not spared like someone was trying to outperform King Saul a la Agag (The Bible, I Samuel 15) ? Okay, the Governor was ‘punished’ for not responding on time! *insert deep sigh here*

This is where I get conveniently infuriated. Recall the 9/11 terrorist attack on the United States even the Pentagon attempt failed, but the flyers of two CIVILIAN planes rammed the planes into the twin-towers of the World Trade Centre and CIVILIANS perished!

The Generals in Rayfield, Jos are living fat and secure while civilians are dying in droves. I wonder if this same lethargy would persist if the home of one of the Generals goes down in flames with attendant causalities!

If the problem is just some ‘political machination’, why are places of worship being targeted? And if it is just religious, why go for those on the lower end of the ‘Religious Food Chain’?

How on earth would herdsmen hold down a village for Four Hours of sustained genocide? Exactly WHY DO WE STILL HAVE A GOVERNMENT? Who gave the guns (oops, my bad, BOMBS!) to the Fulani Herdsmen? Why would a Dan Fulani nomad leave his highly treasured Cattle to unleash terror on Human Beings? Would you call that ‘land-dispute’ or a grouse with Governor Jonah Jang? Since when did a nomad start giving a hoot about who governs the State?

Full blown massacres erupt from something as minuscule and equally ridiculous as ‘A Christian Woman Crossing a Barricaded Street’ and no one bothers to ask if there is more than meets the eye?

The Boko Haram remains a constant threat, from the September 7, 2010 Bauchi Prison Break, where 721 Prisoners were unleashed on the society, including 150 members of the Boko-Haram, pockets of sustained attack from alleged members of this sect has spiked in the North and if care is not taken, it is only a question of time before these ‘pockets of violence’ cross the River Niger to become infernal bags that would engulf the entire nation.

Kidnappers had a field day in Lagos during the 2010 yuletide; you don’t know any of the victims, so you can’t be bothered. A couple of days ago, a man was cut down by suspected kidnappers and after taking the pains of rushing him to the hospital, the hospital refused to treat him because ‘it’s a gunshot wound and they need Police Report’ seriously, WHAT HAVE WE BECOME?

The Boko Haram is offering a truce to the Federal Government under its own terms, how magnanimous!

Even our Government is under hostage and no one wants to admit it. Making deals with ‘Militants’, negotiating with Arsonists and planning to ‘rescue’ the South-West from Rascals.

Honestly, the current Powers do not insult our intelligence in any way, not at all; THEY DO NOT EVEN BELIEVE WE HAVE ANY!

A country that did not hesitate to bring back her citizens caught in the uprising in Egypt but do not even bother that people are dying in droves on the home-front. The man mentioned earlier bled to death because the hospitals needed a ‘Police Report’. Since we pay the Police for vehicle tint permits, won’t Nigerians start seriously considering an ‘Advance Police Permit’ in anticipation of gunshot wounds? Just leave the date column for someone to fill on your behalf!

A pregnant lady was shot dead by the Police in the Mpape suburb of Abuja and all we hear is the cliché ‘accidental discharge’ , same line that has been in use since the mass elimination of Igbo officers far back 1966 in retaliation for the Northern causalities of the January 1966 revo-hijacked-coup-d’etat. Pardon my ignorance, please, HAS THE SAFETY LOCK IN GUNS BEEN REMOVED? Apart from the tantrums of the mob, the razed Bank and cars in the Bank (which most likely would be covered by insurance), is there anything still on-going to stem this tide?!!!

The 2011 elections happen to be just a couple of months away; I do not intend to be a killjoy, but the fact that the younger crop of Nigerian voters had to wait for slogans like ‘Cool to Vote’ and offers like ‘Get-registered-and-have-a-chance-to-walk-with-a –celebrity- to- the- polling- booth’ , ‘show-your-freaking-voters-card-and-get-my-freaking-CD-and-attend-my-freaking-free-show’ makes me feel nothing less than 10 Mega-Barrels of bile out of sheer helplessness and frustration of how lost this generation apparently is.

Hordes of hypocrites who on one hand pay tribute to Chuck D of the Public Enemy fame but remain part of the system that ‘rested’ their careers. To these people, the legendary Fela Anikulapo Kuti is just a franchise. If you are in doubt, tell me why his son, Femi, who continued as a social critic hardly gets airplays on radio!

It’s my blog, innit? So I can say what I want. My video was turned down by ………(fill the blanks) for having a ‘Political Theme’ if you can connect the dots, filling the blank space would not be difficult at all.

I wish a lot of times, that I could crack skulls to get some brains open, (not literally, I dare warn) but then, it’s a numb generation, SPAWNS OF LOTUS EATERS!

THE LOTUS-EATERS

2011-01-20T06:08:00.000-08:00

“…It is, therefore, with a brave heart, with confident hope, and with
faith in my unalterable destiny, that I go from this twilight into
the darkness, unshaken in my trust in the Providence of God that a
glorious dawn will come on the morrow…”

-Chief Obafemi Awolowo before the High Court before

Being sentenced for Treasonable Felony in September

11, 1963

If in the words of the Late Chief Awolowo, 1963 was a shift from twilight to darkness, I really wonder what I would describe some Forty-Seven years after.

The Pogrom in Jos, the graduation from Bows, Arrows and Daggers to guns and bombs that conveniently miss out a particular group, the irrepressible Hydra Headed Boko Haram whose strength, contrary to the norm spiked since their leader Ustaz Mohammed Yusuf was allegedly killed-in-transit, the emergence and spread of ransom demanding kidnappers all over the Country all serve as portent of even darker days to come.

The killings in Jos conveniently took a new dimension few months to the polls, about the time voters’ registration is set to commence, and up till now, there is a criminal silence on the part of the Government. Backtrack to February 1999, where the PDP convention took place in Jos, would such a thing have happened? The thanks that Jos gets for playing a significant role in the formation of Nigerian Democracy (however flawed it is) is the incessant deliberate attempt to wipe out its populace!

Jos is not a stranger to hosting Political Conventions, as a matter of fact. A brief read into Nigerian archives (the few ones you can find) points clearly that conventions have been held in this town since Nigerian Independence; that is actually beside the point.

What hurts is the pervading numbness of Nigerians in the face of an imminent implosion that threatens to consume everything in its way!

The problem with Jos is not the Jasawan (Hausa settlers) nor the native Anaguta, Berom and Afizere, it is not the Dan Fulanis nor of those giving guns to the Dan Fulani; APATHY is the problem!

Apathy on the part of the Islamic Clerics who go on air to condemn the violence, but do NOTHING to identify with the people in distress, apathy on the part of even the Christian Association of Nigeria who are ‘afraid to say anything to heat up the polity’ but leave gory pictures for website circulation, apathy on the people who never follow up the trial of the arrested culprits to ensure a thorough investigation is done. We don’t care, do we?

I had my Secondary education in Jos and I recall one incident out of many. Being a first timer in a Boarding School, an older relative, who was a class ahead of me, was placed in charge of my finances by my Mum. The ‘friend’ squandered my allowance and by the time the Term was over, I had nothing left. Either the School Authorities envisaged it or something; Junior Secondary I students were meant to go with the first Flight from Jos to Lagos.

By the time we got to the airport, both my flight ticket (which we usually submitted to the School Authorities upon resumption) and my boarding pass were ready, and I was good to go, but for one snag: I had to pay a Five (5) Naira airport tax (those were the days a Los-Jos-Los Return Ticket cost only Ninety Six (96) Naira)! I had no money left, but a combination of ego and stupidity made me tender my ticket for screening (not as if I really had a choice), the dude placed the Five Naira stamp on my ticket and I turned mute when I was meant to pay. Eventually someone advised I talk to the authorities and I walked up to the Station Manager of the Jos Airport who in turn referred me to the Commercial Manager.

Over two decades after, I still recall the man’s name and I am quite certain I’d pick him from a crowd till date. Mr. Sidi Abani (that’s his name) just took one look at me and the first word that came out of his mouth is ‘You are hungry’ he took me to the Staff Canteen, made sure I had a plate of pounded yam, left me in his office while he goes out to sort the problem, and ensured I got the free Airforce C-130 Plane which had limited slots for Command Secondary School Students and involved a lot of scramble.

He assigned an office assistant to carry my heavy box and I did not have to scramble. I never got to thank him enough, but I am so sure there are countless others this man went out on a limb for.

What’s the point of the story? I just painted a picture of what Jos used to be. All the man saw was a poor pre-teen in need of help, not some ‘ngbati-ngbati infidel’ (Ngbati-ngbati is a derisive term used to address those of Yoruba extraction; adapted from the penchant of the Yoruba for starting sentences with ‘It was when (Nigbati)….’ ).

Fast forward to today; If Soldiers deployed to protect citizens could look on in the face of carnage, it is about time to realize how low we have stooped as a people.

According to Wikipedia, In Greek mythology, the lotus-eaters were a race of people from an island near North Africa dominated by lotus plants. These plants provided the primary food of the island and were narcotic, causing the people to sleep in peaceful apathy.

It unnerves me that Africa was mentioned in the myth; equally unnerving is the mention of ‘narcotic’ and ‘apathy’ in one sentence.

I look at the Nigerian situation and many times, I wonder if there isn’t some Voodoo expert who has his pins stuck in Nigerian (i)dol(l)s.

Pray, tell, what is your reaction when you hear reports of the incessant wastage of lives all across the nation? I have a maxim ‘A Corpse is a Corpse till that Corpse was your Pops’ .

At the just concluded PDP Primaries, a moment of silence was held for ‘Members of our great Party’ and there was not a single mention of Jos! Except as a subliminal.............To Be Continued

Plumbline -Dead Presidents

2010-12-08T20:40:00.000-08:00

THE BRAT CALLED DIM BANKS

2010-11-11T03:23:00.000-08:00

I am honestly done with politeness, taking time to be pretentious about being nice while gritting my teeth in silence.

This is Rantimus; if you can’t stand the heat, just stay out of the kitchen.

On the 14th of November, 1969, a brat was unleashed on unsuspecting Nigerians and the entire world.

Let me start with his ‘enviable’ background.

His father, Suarau Olayiwola Alani Bankole is a businessman and chieftain from Ogun State. He is the Chairman of West African Aluminum Products (WAAP) Plc. He holds the Yoruba titles Oluwo of Iporo Ake and Seriki Jagunmolu of Egbaland.

This Oluwo of Iporo Ake was a staunch member of the defunct National Party of Nigeria (NPN) and contested for the gubernatorial seat, both in 1979 and 1983. He was also in the defunct NRC from 1989 and moved on to the ANPP before settling down with PDP in 2000. Anyone with a keen sense of election trends in the South-West of Nigeria would know that until the 2003 intrigue masterminded by the Ebora Owu (Daemon of Owu, a ‘city’ in Ogun State) himself, Olusegun Obasanjo (the former Head of State who, unlike George W. Bush that got Al Zaidi’s shoes coming for his face, was attacked instead by a mad man), The South-West usually voted along Progressive lines.

Matter of fact, claiming to be an ‘Awoist’ automatically earned you a seat. Even the intrigue that brought in Chief Omololu Olunloyo in Oyo State in 1983 and almost brought in Akin Omoboriowo in Ondo State was so short-lived that the attendant violence ushered in the Military and took us back for almost a Century.

Against this backdrop, if you read the Party and Bullsmilk series, it does not take a lot of convincing to know the basic ideology guiding such a Politician.

But my grouse is with his son.

A certain Hairdresser and beauty therapist, who became a Member of the House of Representatives under the platform of the Alliance for Democracy (AD) in 1999, was ‘reelected’ in 2003 shortly after switching camps to the PDP. She became the first Female Speaker of the Nigerian House of Representatives in 2007. Then came the 628 Million Naira (about US$5 million) House-Renovation/ Official Car purchase Scam and she had to resign her position. But not until in an ironical twist, Hon. Aminu Shuaibu Safana, the chairman of the house's Committee on Health and a staunch supporter of Etteh slumped and died in the heat of the Comedy of errors.

By October 30, 2007, Etteh resigned and a certain Dimeji Bankole was elected on the First of November, 2007 as Speaker, beating his contender, George Jolaoye, by 304 votes to 20 (4 abstentions). In his address, he said:

"I am taking over the mantle of leadership at a very difficult time. But these are hard times, we need to build confidence again and assure the populace that we are still their representatives. I want an independent house that Nigerians will be proud of, this is my first task."

It is extremely sad and appalling that people are not held responsible for their utterances on this side of the divide. Exactly how has Dim Banks assured us that ‘they are our representatives’? By suspending 11 members who accused him of fraud and even came up to show items allegedly purchased fraudulently under his watch before the media? Etteh went down for 628 million; Dim Banks had 52 Billion hanging on his head in the name of ‘Travel Expenses’. Messrs Onigbogi and Idahosa have been recalled, one on the alibi that he was ‘remotely’ suspended (he was in India when the incident occurred) and Idahosa on the grounds that he has now realized “every house has rules”.

Both members apologized before the committee; they have withdrawn their court actions, standing down their allegations against Dim Banks. They have been cleared, and asked to resume sitting and tender a public apology.

What apology? That they lied against Dim Banks? That is Libel! It also qualifies for Sedition, worse still, Treasonable Felony! Does that imply that the items allegedly purchased fraudulently and displayed before the Camera for us all to watch was all ‘cooked up’? Then they must be brilliant illusionists who have mastered the art of whipping up our emotions wrongly!

Alternatively, are the allegations real and they are only announcing that ‘hey, we have been starving since we got locked out’? CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME??? AM I TALKING TO MYSELF?

Anybody that believed Dim Banks on November 1, 2007 must have been under intense delusion.

Check out his educational background: From Lara Day Nursery and Primary School in Lagos, through Baptist Boys High School (1985) to ‘A’ levels in Albany college (1988), and BSc Economics, University of Reading (1991); Military Technique Strategic Studies, University of Oxford (1992), Public Finance Management, John F Kennedy School of Government, Harvard University (2005).

The simple implication of this record is that a good part of his higher cognitive life was not spent in the Country, period! The last time he really was here, before he showed up in the House of Representatives (I still stand in doubt of the NYSC discharge certificate he presented but then, who can argue against Certificate A417575, registration number FCT/FRN/97/99823 and the Orientation camp in Kubwa, Abuja? ) was in 1987/1988.

Those of you that want to vote along the lines of petty things like Age, Tribe, Religion, here is something to ponder. Dim Banks is only a Post-Independence kid. Matter of fact, he was born towards the end of the Nigerian Civil War. If he had waited a couple of months, he would have been classed as one of the ‘Kids’ of the ‘70s.

He only became the Speaker because of the PDP zoning formula which limited the Speaker to the South-West Geo-Political zone. He became the Speaker exactly two weeks to his 38^th birthday. This dude speaks the English language like he is in competition with the Queen of England! Other than that, he is as hot-headed as his command of the language.

I still recall his July scuffle with the lame-duck Governor of Ogun State, Gbenga Daniel. While I don’t really give a hoot about either of them, the fact that a seemingly innocuous commissioning took the dimensions of a Tokyo-Eleweomo-esque (go figure that) fight speaks for itself.

However, the last straw that dragged me out of the Writers’ Block is his latest remark during the House of Representatives meeting with the Presidential Task Force on Power. He was reported to have spent a record five minutes after which he ‘declared’ the work of the task force, and by extension, the Federal Government ‘null and void’

His reasons being that the road map did not have the input of the House of Representatives, nor did the government deem it necessary to consult ‘stakeholders’ before formulating the roadmap.

Who are the stakeholders? Wait for it…

Bankole stated that no consideration was being given to importers and suppliers of generators, which by his estimate is A BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY THAT NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED!

Could someone please shut this BRAT up before further damage is done?

PS: The Brat has a blog: http://dimejisbankole.com/

Check out music from Plumbline (Street Cleric)

2010-11-04T08:14:00.001-07:00

PARTY AND BULL***** (CONCLUSION)

2010-09-06T04:56:00.000-07:00

…..No one was going to stop Abacha. With possible opponents either dead, clamped in jail or on exile, the stage was set.

Until June 8.

I recall seeing the shroud wrapped around the mound that once was the most-dreaded ruler in Nigeria. The corpse was tossed in the cargo section of the plane for onward dispatch to Kano.

His successor, General Abdusalami Abubakar was all too eager to quit the scene. There was, however, one obstacle: MKO Abiola. Should his 5 year old mandate be given? Would he forgive those that ensured his incarceration and killed his wife? A dramatic twist came in when the then U.N. Secretary-General, Kofi Annan and the then Commonwealth Secretary General, Chief Emeka Anyaoku visited him in detention, and the latter addressed a press conference in Abuja saying that Abiola had given up his mandate. A quick rebuttal came through Chief Gani Fawehinmi after which another meeting came up with envoys from the United States, Mr. Thomas Pickering, Ms. Susan Rice and William Twaddel.

Abiola suddenly took ill after he was served tea by Ms Susan Rice, and after a 90 minute battle to save his life at the Presidential hospital, he was pronounced dead.

Abiola’s death would dramatically alter the course of politics of the Fourth Republic.

The ensuing transition programme was ‘designed’ to placate the South West over his death. Hence, the only presidential aspirants of South West descent contested the 1999 presidential election where Chief Obasanjo (PDP) recently released from prison won over Chief Olu Falae of the Alliance for Democracy/ All People’s Party alliance (refer to my April 1 post, Sticky Bums and Hardened Hearts).

It is my opinion that Obasanjo won because he looked more like the survival specimen of the keepers of the status quo. The dark secrets of the military looked secure with him having hung in the dark basement of the sordid past of a country desperately in need of amnesia.

The Fulani oligarchy felt safe with him, the South-East, having been played out of the APP ticket (up till this time, because the bulk of supporters of Abacha’s self-succession bid were in this party, the APP was derisively called Abacha People’s Party) when the relatively unknown Ogbonnaya Onu was picked and dumped to pick up Olu Falae, tilted towards Obasanjo’s PDP; and the South-South, probably with the hope of eventually benefiting from the PDP ‘zoning’ formula, followed suit.

The gullible religious folks swayed his way as well, since they heard he had become ‘born-again’ during his incarceration.

At the time of the election, Obasanjo was the ‘only Southerner accepted by the Northerners, the only Civilian accepted by the Military, and the only Christian accepted by Muslims’ he donated 130 million Naira, as well as several cars to his political party. For a man recently released from incarceration/death-row, that was a very questionable feat, but no one could be bothered. By May 29, 1999, most of the Retired Generals were card-carrying members of the PDP, with few ones in APP.

Perhaps this militarization of politics is the root of the sudden escalation of politically motivated killings in the Fourth Republic.

As a matter of fact, 1999 till date has the highest record of political assassinations in the history of Nigeria. September 1, 2002 would show how low we had sunk when the local branch chairman of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA) and his wife were shot and the killers used a truck to run repeatedly over their dead bodies.

The Nigerian Police Force not only attained an apogee of incompetence, it became the order of the day that Politicians and Journalists were either killed by robbers, drug barons, or clowns.

It is interesting to note that Capital Punishment, till date, is yet to be a deterrent to crime. The establishment of Independent Corrupt Practices Commission (2000) and Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (2003) has only served to heighten despair for those interested in the fight against corruption. Billions of looted funds got resolved as ‘family matter’ in particular, when the culprit is a member of the ruling PDP. Part of what was stolen is returned in exchange for ‘soft-landing’ where the corrupt politicians upon conviction spend short terms in ‘EFCC guest-houses’ and they are released to go-and-sin-more-but-be-more-careful.

Why would a grown man, a then serving Governor, knowing the implications of libel, insist that Chief Tony Anenih wanted to kill him ‘the way they killed Chief Bola Ige’ and all of a sudden we hear nothing more?

These are the issues gnawing deep at my heart, draining my pen of every substance. By the time you are reading this, the tally of over 352 Nigerians that have died of Cholera in just 3 months would have increased. I would not even bother about the statistics of those that have been killed navigating through our ‘road-infested-potholes’ (that sounds, wrong, does it? That is the only way I can explain when you have more pot-holes than roads), nor those that have been killed since Medical Doctors embarked on Strike Action because of poor remunerations.

No, they do not matter, they are not Politicians…All we want to talk about is Zoning, Election, The-Biggest-National-Cake-Ever-Baked, Party and Bullsmilk! (Yeah, I got you on that!)

Before the Bronx (MP4)

2010-07-16T01:36:00.000-07:00

PARTY AND BULL***** 2

2010-06-17T02:19:00.000-07:00

The NPP submitted some candidates for ministerial appointments as part of the ‘gentleman agreement’. Ishaya Audu, a vice presidential candidate of the party, among others, was selected as a minister. However, the accord hit the rocks in 1981, and Adeniran Ogunsanya, the chairman of the party, asked all ministers to resign; many did not heed his call and some transferred to the NPN (cross-carpeting is not new, is it?).

By 1983, the stage was set for the downfall of civil governance. All the political parties re-nominated their presidential candidates during the 1983 elections. Rigging was well pronounced and open; ALL the political parties rigged the election in their various spheres of influence. The electoral body, FEDECO proved to be highly incompetent.

Before the elections, Umaru Dikko and Chief Adisa Akinloye, openly declared that as far as they know, there were only two political parties in Nigeria: The National Party of Nigeria (NPN) and the Army (Titanic, anybody?).

A number of fraudulent elections were upheld by the Courts purely on technical grounds, however in a few cases, the courts reversed the election results, notably in the case of the Ondo State gubernatorial, hotly contested by Alani Omoboriowo and Chief Michael Ajasin. Omoboriowo (NPN)’s votes were inflated from 703, 792 to 1,228,981 while that of Chief Michael Ajasin (UPN) was deflated from 1,563,377 to 1,015,385. Expectedly, the illegality resulted in serious violence; houses were burnt and properties destroyed, supporters of the two political parties continued to clash until victory was returned to Ajasin (the writer was still quite young then, but recalls the pun on Omoboriowo (the child overcame wealth) to Owoboriomo (the child was overcome by wealth).

Another nail in the coffin of the Second Republic was the seemingly insignificant but highly consequential remark of Umaru Dikko that the Presidential seat was not for the highest bidder. It would have just passed for an ordinary remark, but for the person it was made to; A Yoruba millionaire, by the name Moshood Kashimawo Olawale Abiola (MKO), known to be a good friend of the Military. He had joined the NPN and was the State Chairman of the party in his home state of Ogun (although, with only one or two members in the State House of Assembly at Abeokuta, the NPN was virtually non-existent in Ogun State, the birth place of the revered Chief Obafemi Awolowo). He was expecting the NPN zoning to work in his favor in 1983 but it was decided that Shagari would run for a second term. He angrily quit Politics (or should we say he joined the ‘Second Party’)

By December 31, 1983 a voice hit the Nigerian airwaves:

Fellow countrymen and women.
I, Brigadier Sani Abacha, of the Nigerian Army address you this morning on behalf of the Nigerian Armed Forces…..

Nigerians all too gladly welcomed the military at this time. Having been told as a kid that as soon as Shagari was announced the winner of the elections, he said ‘Now that I have been re-elected, Austerity continues…’ my young mind was all too glad! To us, Austerity as dished by the NPN meant the disappearance of my favorite meals from the table.

Again, the government of Muhammadu Buhari offended MKO, and an ambitious Ibrahim Babangida (IBB) who allegedly also had his tracks to cover a la Gloria Okon saga got funded for the August 27 1985 take-over.

The Armed Forces Ruling Council (AFRC) under the leadership of General Babangida prevented most ex-politicians from participating in politics. Only two political parties would be approved.

On October 7, 1989, the AFRC rejected all the six political associations presented by the National Electoral Commission, and accused them, inter alia of being led by leaders who were surrogates of banned politicians. In their place, Babangida decreed into existence two government funded parties, the Social Democratic Party (SDP) which he directed to be “a little to the left” in ideology and the ‘a little to the right’ National Republican Convention (NRC). Any Nigerian could join either as equals since they had no ‘founders’. This looked like a solution to money bags hijacking political parties, but some saw it as having the outlook of ‘government parastatals’.

An open ballot system, and Option A4, which required a candidate to seek nomination from the ward level to the local to the state and national level, and to win majority votes at all levels or an average of 50 per cent, paved way for what is adjudged the freest and fairest election in Nigeria’s history.

The earlier disqualification and ban of the likes of Shehu Musa Yar Adua and Olu Falae probably gave everyone the impression that IBB was setting the stage for MKO. The massive support he (MKO) had made almost every Nigerian consider his Presidency a fait accompli, until the June 24 annulment.

Mass protests, civil disobedience and pressure compelled IBB to ‘step-aside’ and hand over to a shaky Interim National Government (ING), the most unpopular government ever hoisted on Nigerians.

Barely three (3) months old, was the ING declared illegal by Justice Dolapo Akinsanya of the Lagos High Court, an outcome of a suit filed by MKO challenging its legality.

On November 17, 1993, the same voice that announced the demise of the Second Republic declared the Obituary of the aborted Third Republic, the only dispensation that never had a proper head was dead.

By selective amnesia, no one seemed to remember what Abacha did during the June 12 protests in Lagos. A man who deployed troops to silence protesters was suddenly the Messiah everyone was looking for.

I honestly feel repulsed that I would have to chronicle Abacha’s ‘transition program’ which ended in his own transition.

Key Pro-June 12 activists were appointed members of Abacha’s cabinet, initially with MKO’s blessings and ignored calls to resign even when it became obvious Abacha had plans of his own. While the internal wrangling continued, Abacha seized the opportunity to consolidate his power base.

Former allies turned to sworn enemies till date. Lateef Jakande, the charismatic Governor of Lagos State in the Second Republic who served as Minister of Works and Housing under the Abacha regime was kicked out, never to be welcome in the ‘circle-of-progressives’ again. Prior to that time, he was fondly called Baba Kekere (Small Daddy) because he was seen as the potential successor to the venerated Awolowo. Although Awo had died since 1987, the Yoruba would never forget the Free Education program that gave a literary edge to the South-Western part of Nigeria.

Ebenezer Babatope and Ebun Olu Onagoruwa were among the reputation causalities.

Abacha simply woke up one day and sacked his cabinet.

By 1997, with all ‘enemies’ dead, in prison, exiled or severely humiliated, the stage was set for Abacha to succeed himself as President (s)elect.

Then, ALL ‘five fingers of a leprous hand’ (to quote the late Chief Bola Ige), the United Nigeria Congress Party (UNCP), the Committee for National Consensus (CNC), the National Centre Party of Nigeria (NCPN), the Democratic Party of Nigeria (DPN), and the Grassroots Democratic Movement (GDM), ‘adopted’ Abacha as consensus candidate………..

TO BE CONTINUED

PARTY AND BULL*****

2010-05-24T02:21:00.001-07:00

Right from the Clifford Constitution and the subsequent formation of Nigerian National Democratic Party (NNDP), (Nigeria's first political party) in 1923 by Herbert Macaulay, and clinching three (3) seats in the 1922 elections for the Lagos Legislative Council, all through the cacophony of I-am-about-45 Political Parties in Nigeria, the electoral system in Nigeria could best be summed up in one word: RUDDERLESS.

I look at the Nigerian debacle and I wonder if the Southern Cameroons ever had a picosecond’s worth of regret for opting in the 1961 Plebiscite to go with French Cameroon. Not as if I am of the opinion that they are better off or otherwise, but I can’t help wondering what their plight would have been in the complex contraption called the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

From the 1914 incongruous amalgamation through the Brito-Colonio-Clifford-Richard-Macpherson-Lyttleton's Constitutions, we wandered aimlessly through the 1960 and 1963 scripted Constitutions into the Militaro-Colonio-actually-Obasanjo-Babangida-Abdulsalami Abubakar Constitutions of 1979, 1989 and 1999 (maybe we will have another joke in 2019!).

Governor Lugard came with a script. The ‘Indirect Rule’ was simple. A bigger bully comes and promises the lesser bully the full permission to bully all others, as long as he submits to his own bullying, period!

In the North, the emirs retained their caliphate titles but were responsible to British district officers, who had final authority. The British high commissioners could depose emirs and other officials if necessary. Borno went down without a fight, Kano and Sokoto resisted and were ruthlessly dealt with to discourage further opposition. With the co-operation of the Hausa-Fulani (a great part of the Hausas had been absorbed by the Fulani Oligarchy), the ‘bigger-bully’ imposed the ‘lesser-bully’ on the entire North and allowed for the running of the dual system of law (Federal and Sharia). The Sharia (Islamic law) court continued to deal with matters affecting the personal status of Muslims, including land disputes, divorce, debt, and slave emancipation (think about this next time you read about the ‘Paedophile Senator’.. that’s all I’d say on that), this is what paved the way for the complexity of tribal and religious sentiments, and makes it almost altogether impossible to state the true source of conflicts in the North.

Missionary activities, and consequently Western Education were also heavily restricted (I know a lot of people get irked at the mention of Western Education, but we need to face realities here. At the time of the Graeco-Roman Empire, everyone had to learn Greek. The New Testament Bible was written entirely in Greek; even though the writers were mostly Hebrews. Western Education is rich because the Anglo-Saxon culture itself borrows copiously from the rest of the World. If four out of five people have a loaf of bread each and they all agree that each will give the fifth person half of theirs, the fifth man ends up with the equivalent of two loaves while the others are stuck with half).

In the South, the Indirect Rule had a relative measure of success among the Yorubas. The older empires had already been heavily weakened with the abolition of Slave Trade, and consequently the huge amount of wealth that was generated had plummeted. Lagos was formally annexed as a British colony in 1861. This was after Oba Akitoye, who had earlier been deposed and replaced by Kosoko for attempting to put an end to slave trade, secured the assistance of Britain to regain his throne. He died three years later and his successor, Oba Dosunmu concluded the treaty. The egalitarian minded Ibos and the other ethnic groups, right of the Lower Niger were the ‘defiant guinea pigs’ of this experiment. The Aro hegemony had been crushed since 1902. Not finding any ‘lesser bully’, the ‘bigger bully’ imposed their own bullies. One would need to read the award winning author, Chinua Achebe’s THINGS FALL APART to appreciate this better.

It is against this backdrop that Political parties, tended to reflect the make up of the three main ethnic groups: Hausa, Yoruba, and Ibo. By the October 1960 independence, The NPC (Nigerian people's Congress) represented conservative, Muslim, largely Hausa interests, and dominated the Northern Region. The party was allegedly formed with the blessing of the Emirs, to be capable of ‘counterbalancing the activities of the southern-based parties’.

The AG (Action Group), developed from the Yoruba group headed by the late Chief Obafemi Awolowo, the Egbé Ọmọ Odùduwà, was a left-leaning party that controlled the Yoruba west. The NCNC (National Convention of Nigerian Citizens) was Igbo and Christian dominated, ruling in the Eastern Region. The NCNC would however, be the first to have a national outlook, mainly because of Late Nnamdi Azikiwe’s Pan African vision.

The first post-independence National Government was formed by a conservative alliance of the NCNC and the NPC, with Sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa, a Hausa, becoming Nigeria's first Prime Minister. The Yoruba-dominated AG became the opposition under the leadership of Chief Obafemi Awolowo.

Disagreement within the AG led to the first major ‘cross-carpeting’ that laid the foundation for ‘decamping’ today. The late Samuel Ladoke Akintola broke away and became the Western Premier under the Nigerian National Democratic Party (NNDP) which was in an alliance with the Northern People's Congress (NPC), the party that then controlled the federal government. The politics of Human-Torch (burning opponents alive) began in the ensuing violence; perhaps, this will be the foundation for the spates of political assassinations we have today.

Things got very awry when Chief Obafemi Awolowo was arrested on trumped up charges of treasonable felony and clamped in jail in 1963. By this time, deep resentment was building in the Army. The Kaduna Nzeogwu/ Emmanuel Ifeajuna revolution of 1966 ended up with an ethnic taint. Most of the key rulers were Hausa; consequently, the Hausa recorded the heaviest causality. Unfortunately too, the killings showed a pattern: The Prime Minister, a northerner; the Premier of the Northern Region, and the highest ranking northern army officers. Only one Igbo officer (Lieutenant-Colonel Arthur Unegbe) lost his life. Also killed was the Premier of the Western Region who was closely allied with the NPC. The fact that soldiers of Northern extraction were in the coup did nothing to erase the ‘Coup with tribal marks’ brand; nor the fact that there were Yorubas on both sides of aggressors and victims.

The July counter-coup, the massacre of Igbos before and during the Civil War, the ascendancy of the Counter-Coup soldiers (four of them became President) in Nigerian politics after the consequent decimation of Igbo officers, all served to shape Nigerian politics till date (quick PDP checklist, anyone?).

By the Second Republic, members of the proscribed parties (Military Regimes commence with the proscription of Political parties) based in the Northern section of Nigeria began to organize to form a northern party to prepare for a return to democracy. This time, they got collaborators from the South, and with the ‘Zoning Formula’, came up with a Yoruba chairman, a Hausa-Fulani President, with an Igbo running mate. The Yoruba chairman was none other than Augustus Meredith Adisa Akinloye, who had left with S.L. Akintola in the First Republic to form the Nigerian National Democratic Party. That was the origin of the National Party of Nigeria (NPN).

The Action Group under Chief Obafemi Awolowo had morphed into the Unity Party of Nigeria (UPN). The other four parties, Greater Nigerian People's Party (GNPP), Nigeria Advance Party (NAP), Nigerian People's Party (NPP), People's Redemption Party (PRP) were not as strong. The PRP, in my opinion, is just the Northern version of the UPN in terms of ideology (the Talakawa concept was actually made popular by the late Mallam Aminu Kano, the founder of the PRP). Chinua Achebe did a brief stint in the PRP as the deputy national vice-president and would be remembered for the near fist cuff with the late Alhaji Barkin Zuwo (notoriously popular for stashing State funds in his bedroom and the Coke, Fanta Mineral Resources interview).

At this time, the Civil War had taken a heavy toll on the Ibos; the Nigerian power tussle had become more of between the Hausa-Fulani oligarchy and the relatively weaker Yoruba. It was against this backdrop that the 1979 Constitution attempted to ensure a National Outlook but eventually led to various pseudo-alliances, one of such is the NPP with NPN.

(To Be Continued)

Before the Bronx Trailer

2010-04-16T02:20:00.000-07:00

STICKY BUMS AND HARDENED HEARTS

2010-04-01T00:55:00.000-07:00

El Hadj Omar Bongo Ondimba of Gabon would go down in history as the world’s longest serving, sorry, ruling President.

Quite amusing is the fact that on the 7th May 2009, when he had to go seek medical attention for Cancer in Spain, the Gabonese Government only announced that Papa Bongo had temporarily suspended his official duties and taken time off to mourn his recently demised wife and rest in Spain!

His eventual death on June 8^th 2009 (or earlier, God knows) was vehemently denied to the extent that the foreign ministry summoned the French ambassador to protest about French media reports of Papa Bongo death, which according to his Prime Minister, were intended "to sow doubt in the spirit of the Gabonese for undesirable ends".

Internet services were cut; access to international media was restricted, till the game ended. And so, “El Hadj Omar Bongo Ondimba of Gabon slept with his fathers, and his son, Ali-Ben Bongo Ondimba reigned in his stead” (this reads so much like the chronicles of the ancient kings of Israel to me!)

In Niger, Retired Lieutenant Colonel Mamadou Tandja ran for Presidency in 1993 and lost to Mahamane Ousmane. He lost also in 1996 to the I-switched-from-bullet-to-ballot candidacy of Ibrahim Baré Maïnassara, before winning at last in 1999.

One would think this man would approach the Presidency with a deep sense of sobriety; DEAD WRONG! In no time, his First and Second Terms expired and he wanted to self-propagate to a Third term. By 27th June, 2009, Tandja announced he was suspending the government and would rule by decree. By February 18^th, the Military had intervened.

Let me take you on a mental journey to France, the French Revolution (1789–1799). Before that time, society into Three Estates: First Estate (clergy); the Second Estate (nobility); and the Third Estate (commoners). The king was considered part of no estate.

The Clergy not only unabashedly adopted this system (animal farm, anyone?) but further classed themselves into Higher (Bishops) and Lower (parish priests, monks and nuns) Clergy. They paid no taxes; they also owned 10 percent of all the land in France, which was exempt from property tax. They however, paid a "free gift" to the state.

The second estate is what I called Pseudotalakawa in previous blogs. They were content with owning lands and some tax exemptions, so they could not be bothered about reform.

The third estate comprised all those who do not belong above and can be divided into two groups: urban and rural. The urban included the bourgeoisie, as well as wage-labor (such as craftsmen). The rural includes the peasantry, or the farming class. The Third Estate includes some of what would now be considered middle class. What united the third estate is that most had little or no wealth and yet were forced to pay disproportionately high taxes to the other estates.

If you are a late entrant, please read my early blogs to find a parallel with what we have today. Knowing however, that there are lots of people who dread clicking an extra button, I would place an excerpt here:

….Need I add that the word has Arabic roots, and that the Yoruba (Western Nigeria Language) word Talaka, meaning The Poor was derived from this root? The Hausas in Nigeria would define the Talakawa, in contrast with the Al-majiri( Destitute) and the Masu Sarauta (Aristocrats) simply as the Common Man, and it is the fundamental philosophy that change in the society rests on both the neck and shoulders of this people (Talakawa)...who else should we expect it from?

This is disputable, but it is said that the Revolution was provoked when the peasants complained they could not afford bread and the Queen replied: "Let them eat brioche." (brioche is a luxury bread enriched with eggs and butter).

In any case, the revolution began, and cannon bearing women of the Third Estate marched and precipitated the sack of the Monarchy. The King and the Queen were among those whose necks gave way to the guillotine.

I have observed the gross impunity on the part of brats who obtained political position under the aegis of their fathers and I shake my head with both pity and disdain. Apparently, it is not only our offshore-turned-hologram President that has Pedicarditis; there are so many with a worse kind, because, while his own case is a medical condition, these people actually have a mental condition!

When the military felt they could disregard the people, General Ibrahim Babangida (deliberately not adding the RTD thingie) had his own first dose. Massive demonstrations took place and he was compelled to ‘step-aside’; however, not without including a Trojan in the system. The Trojan would activate General Sanni Abacha (deceased) who unleashed a reign of terror. He crushed revolts by all means, yet with each one, another rose. He was going to have his way, anyway, as the Five-fingers-of-a-leprous hand (Late Bola Ige copyright) political parties endorsed him as a consensus candidate. But the the words of Abraham Lincoln rang through: ‘No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent’. Abacha died in office and that was all.

Honestly, I sincerely wish I don’t have to retract the ‘that was all’ because that was not all at all! The Trojan was still active; the death of Abacha was just the removal of a spawn virus.

Three new parties were formed. Actually two.

Late Bola Ige, who had played a prominent role in G34 (the group that sent a letter to Abacha to vacate office through Chief Solomon Lar), together with the others, gave birth to PDP. The Trojan was activated soon as retired Generals with junta-powered-megaloot invaded the Party like locusts.

There was a conflict of ideology. So, Ige left. The next point of call, All Peoples Party(APP) was not better (a good part of the members were those who supported Abacha’s self-succession bid). So, Ige and his colleagues left to form AD.

The decision to pull out of APP affected the choice of party system. Abdulsalami Administration had proposed a two party system. Party registration had closed by the time the South West leaders and their friends from other zones approached the electoral commission for registration. But the Chief of general Staff, Admiral Mike Akhigbe who had served as governor of old Ondo and Lagos States cautioned against denying AD registration. His contention was that the denial could result into a credibility crisis for the transition programme (Considering the June 12 debacle). By the ‘Doctrine of necessity’, the Electoral Commission invoked a clause whereby if only two parties qualified, the party which finished third would also be allowed through.

The bug produced Obasanjo, who was vehemently opposed by the Nigerian Students and a good part of the South-West, but the Yorubas, out of the desire not to rock the boat, resigned to the omo-wa-ni-e-je-o-se (He’s our son, let him do it) syndrome.

Obasanjo (PDP) won Olu Falae, the AD-APP candidate, by 62.78% to 37.22%. By 2007, the Trojan had morphed PDP into a win-by-all-means behemoth. In grossly flawed elections which spawned several overturns and re-overturns, Buhari, a retired General and former head of state, and the ‘worthiest opponent’ only garnered a fourth (6,605,299) of Umar YarAdua’s total recorded votes (24,638,063) in spite of concerns over the latter’s health. It became obvious that the PDP Presidential Primaries is the actual (s)election, even if a rabbit becomes the candidate.

So honestly, I would not blame Madam (Prof. Dora Akunyili’s copyright) for holding the entire nation to ransom and running a parallel government. I would not blame those soldiers that stood like zombies ‘awaiting orders’ while the genocide in Jos went on before their very eyes but did not hesitate to cut-off power supply at the airport to bring in whatever-was-in-the-ambulance-they-called-the-president. I would not blame that legislative brat that ignored the Youths’ voice of reason in spite of the fact that he belongs to their generation. I won’t even blame the soldier who reached for his gun while harassing Audu Maikori, the learned poet and young CEO of the Chocolate City record label on March 16^th, 2010, the day the Nigerian Youths found their voice and organized a peaceful rally in Abuja.

I will blame you if by 2011; you do not step out to vote against tyranny, I will blame you if you do not strive to ensure you are neither physically nor mentally disenfranchised.

The 300 Spartan warriors were no match for King Xerxes, as a matter of fact; they were crushed by his Persian army. But then, it was a pyrrhic victory.

BURIED CIVILIZATION

2010-02-10T07:10:00.001-08:00

It baffles me a great deal how artifacts abandoned by Africans based on ‘fetish’ connections found their ways to British and French museums.

Egypt had to cut ties with the Louvre Museum late last year for France to agree to return theirs.

The Nigerian case is pathetic. In 1973, General Gowon was invited to Britain and was anxious to bring a gift to say thank you for British support during the Biafran civil war. He commissioned a replica Benin bronze but was disappointed with the result. Just before his departure, he telephoned Ekpo Eyo, director of the museum, to say he was coming to choose a gift. General Gowon soon arrived; and took one of the bronzes from the display. Dr Eyo was horrified, because it was quite ‘improper for the state to be raiding the museum’. The rest is History.

For General Gowon, I would only quote Mel Gibson in the 2002 American War Film, We were Soldiers: ‘we were soldiers once…and young’ because he is one former Head of State that still gives his all to the nation, most times, I feel the Gentleman is burdened by a lot of what went wrong that he is convinced he owes the Country a lot. He was only 32!

Unfortunately, that would not be the only time the artifacts were taken away with gross impunity. As a matter of fact, the most devastating raid was the Benin ‘Punitive’ Expedition of 1897 where the Palace was looted as punishment for Benin’s preemptive strike on Lieutenant James Robert Phillips who was on his way to raid the Palace anyway. Only two British officers had survived that strike.

An estimated 2500 artifacts were ‘stolen’ and redistributed till today to British, German and French museums and private owners.

France has magnanimously returned two Monoliths. The Queen Idia Mask, used as the mascot for the Second Black Festival of Arts and Culture still sits in the basement of the British Museum.

I know we have a dark history linked with our Arts, I know that but for Mary Slessor, the people of Calabar would probably still be casting their twins into the evil forest to perish, but I KNOW that it is hypocritical to keep these artifacts that you condemned as heathen!

Okay, the Benin people are around to demand for what was taken from them, what of The Nok Terracotta? We do not even know who those people really were because they ‘mysteriously vanished’ about 200 AD. As a matter of fact, the only reason we call their arts Nok is because they were dug up in the village of Nok near the Jos Plateau region of Nigeria while some Englishman was mining for tin.

Pits dug in the search for Tin abound in Jos till date. The search for tin and artifact thus attracted settlers to the city of Jos. With an altitude of 4,062 feet (1,217 m) above sea level, it enjoys a more temperate climate than much of the rest of Nigeria (average monthly temperatures range from 70° to 77°F or 21° to 25°C). These cooler temperatures have meant that from colonial times until present day, Jos is a favourite holiday location for both tourists and expatriates based in Nigeria.

That also meant that Jos attracted a lot of immigrants.

Then arose a man called Mohammed Marwa Maitatsine; a violence disposed Cleric who was born in Cameroon. His was a quasi-Muslim fringe group that eventually sparked religious riots in Kano in 1980, and Kaduna, and Maiduguri in 1982 after police tried to control their activities. The disturbance in Kano alone resulted in the deaths of 4,177 people between December 18 and 29, 1980. He was killed by Nigerian security forces in 1980 during the Kano insurrection. His followers were able to lead several insurrections after that spanned into the late ‘80s and a good number of those fleeing for refuge found a haven in Jos, this act of hospitality looks like what turned out to be Jos’ undoing.

In 1987, religious conflict took dark dimensions when unprecedented violence between ‘Muslims’ and ‘Christians’ erupted at secondary schools and universities. Clashes at the College of Education in Kafanchan, Kaduna State, left at least twelve dead and several churches burned or damaged. The rioting spread to Zaria, Katsina, and Kano in few days. Bayero University in Kano was closed after about twenty students were injured in clashes. In Zaria, Muslim students burned the chapel at the College of Advanced Studies and attacked Christian students; the riots spilled over into the town, where more than fifty churches were burned. A curfew was imposed in Kaduna State, and outdoor processions and religious preaching were banned in Bauchi, Bendel, Benue, Borno, and Plateau states. All schools in Kaduna and five in Bauchi State closed. The then President Babangida denounced these outbreaks as "masterminded by evil men . . . to subvert the Federal Military Government." He also issued a Civil Disturbances (Special Tribunal) Decree establishing a special judicial tribunal (which would sadly be used as the instrument to hang Ken Saro Wiwa and the remaining 8 Ogoni much later under a different administration) to identify, arrest, and try those responsible, and banned preaching by religious organizations at all institutions of higher learning. In June and July 1987, Kaduna State authorities twice closed the exclusive Queen Amina College girls' high school in Zaria after clashes between Muslim and Christian students. At a particular point in time, Kaduna became irrevocably separated into a predominantly Muslim North and Christian South.

All of a sudden, Kaduna ceased to be the hotbed and the ‘axis-of-evil’ tilted to Jos. President Babangida created Jos North in 1991 and with the modified vehicle plate number scheme; the Jos North came to be represented by JJN. JJN stands for Jasawan Jos North; Jasawa is the identity of the Hausas in Jos.

The Berom, Anaguta and Afizere were the indigenous people of Jos. But with the mining industry, Hausa settlers had multiplied. With an organized system of government, The Hausa settler population in Jos had a Hausa Chief in the Tin Mine settlements (There has been a Sarkin Jos since 1902!), which they answered to. The indigenous tribe primarily the Berom felt the need to also organize themselves politically, especially after converting to Christianity. With the British system of indirect rule, a Native Chief was preferred to a Hausa Chief because of their religious and ethnic peculiarities. In 1947 the title of any Chief of Jos became Gbong Gwom Jos. Unlike the conventional thrones, it is a political throne, with no initial basis in Berom traditions as the Berom people were an ethnic group with clan-centred leadership.

The complex power-play became the keg of gunpowder that would implode later. The Jasawan had grown and were economically relevant in Jos. A generation of youth who were born in Jos and had nowhere else to call home had been born (Palestine-Israel, anyone?) and the battle for the soul of Jos-North intensified.

Islam had always been valid for Hausa mobilization. This dates back to Usman dan Fodio (1754-1817) who emerged an Amir al-Mu'minin, a political as well as religious office, consequently with authority to declare and pursue a Jihad, raise an army and become its commander. A widespread uprising consequently began in Hausaland. This uprising was largely composed of the Fulani, who held a powerful military advantage with their cavalry. It was also widely supported by the Hausa peasantry who felt over-taxed and oppressed by their rulers.

Usman dan Fodio was a great ruler and brilliant scholar whose reforms and ideals birthed the Sokoto Caliphate in 1809. As it turned out, subsequent Sultans of Sokoto automatically became Heads of the Islamic community. Unfortunately, this heritage became a tool for manipulations too. The way an American is proud of Uncle Sam is about the same way the predominantly Muslim Hausa community is proud of the Caliphate.

Alas! Clashes began to originate out of flimsy reasons like a lady walking seductively or an alleged burning of Mosques by Christians during Church Service.

Is the Jos crisis Religious? Is it Political? I will not tell beyond this backdrop. Is it utterly senseless and inhumane? To that I say an emphatic YES!

CHRONICLES OF HIBERNIA-DARK REFLECTIONS

2010-01-15T06:38:00.000-08:00

Can I disappoint you that I will not start my first post in 2010 with the health-or-death status of President Yaradua?

Nor will I start with the soft looking brat who wanted to blow the world through his balls and the fact that secure pornography a la body scans will now be available at Nigerian Airports, simply because Nigeria is desperate to prove her innocence before ‘Almighty America’.

For all I know, the Nation has been sick longer than the President and no one has ever really bothered.

My mind is more pre-occupied with that beautiful 11-year old whose foot was trapped under the rubble in Haiti. I am thinking more of Pat Robertson of Christian Broadcasting Network who said:

"And you know, Kristi, something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French, you know, Napoleon the Third and whatever, and they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, 'We will serve you if you'll get us free from the French.' True story. And so the devil said, 'O.K., it's a deal. And they kicked the French out, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free, and ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other, desperately poor. That Island of Hispaniola is one island cut down the middle. On the one side is Haiti, on the other side is the Dominican Republic. Dominican Republic is prosperous, healthy, full of resorts, etc. Haiti is in desperate poverty, same islands…. "

In other words, according to him, Haiti is paying for a pact made with the devil! I would only want to know if the earthquake was selective, if churches or mosques or even the voodoo shrines were spared.

Haiti is actually paying for a pact, not made with the devil, but devils like the King of France who recognized the independence of the country in exchange for a payment of 150 million francs (an indemnity for profits lost from slave trade!). Devils that sponsored the 32 coups in Haiti’s 200 year history, devils that claimed large sums of money from the vaults of the National Bank of Haiti.

Let’s have some Chronicles:

In 1888 U.S. Marines supported a military revolt against the government.

In 1892 the German government supported suppression of the movement of Anténor Firmin (I need to read On the Equality of Human Races).

In 1912 Syrians residing in Haiti participated in a plot in which the presidential palace was destroyed.

In January 1914, British, German and United States forces entered Haiti to ‘protect’ their citizens.

The United States occupied the island from 1915 to 1934.

When the Duvaliers, Dr. François Duvalier, known as "Papa Doc" President of Haiti , 1957 –1971; Jean-Claude Duvalier ("Baby Doc"), 1971-1986 were robbing the Country silly, they were largely supported by those ‘devils’ and the high interest loans that left the Country in the state it is in today were ‘generously’ provided!

When Jean Bertrand Aristide began asking France for reparation, that was when ‘corruption’ accusations came in, a rebellion ensued, and the US Marines, yes US Marines helped him on exile (Aristide himself said he was kidnapped).

So, really, I agree with Pat Robertson to an extent.

This Reparation thingie reminds me so much of the late Chief MKO Abiola; Nigerians! You are not likely to know the true story behind the annulment of the June 12 1993 Presidential Elections in this life, probably in the life to come, you stand a chance.

That was a digression.

Haitians were the first ‘Free’ Blacks, then Ethiopia, then Liberia. What do they have to show for it?

Ethiopia had Emperor Haile Selassie I, the man who played a vital role in the formation of the disbanded Organization of African Unity (OAU), which was replaced in 2002 by the African Union (AU). I don’t want to bring the Rastafarian part to this, but this man was kicked out and replaced by a wonderful tyrant: Mengistu Haile Mariam.

Liberia had William Tolbert Jr., I won’t call him a saint, and neither will I call him a sinner, but a US Army Special Force trained Samuel Kanyon Doe, had Tolbert murdered in his sleep and became the President of Liberia, which began the dark journey of Liberia through a brutal civil war, and the unleashing of Charles Taylor upon the people of Liberia. Charles Taylor would later allege he was raised by the CIA.

Thomas Sankara! The man who sold most of the government fleet of Mercedes cars and made the Renault 5 (the cheapest car sold in Burkina Faso at that time) the official service car of the ministers, converted the army's provisioning store in Ouagadougou into a state-owned supermarket open to everyone (the first supermarket in the country), was killed by Blaise Compaoré . This man still rules Burkina Faso till today! It is interesting that it was Thomas Sankara that changed the name of the Country from Upper Volta to Burkina Faso (the land of upright people).

Today, Burkina Faso occupies the sixth to last place on the Human Development Index.

If Patrice Lumumba had not been taken down by the CIA, would Mobutu have risen to rob that Zaire (name given by Mobutu)/ Democratic Republic of Congo silly?

For Nigeria, I will only say that someday, the ‘Classified Information’ will become declassified.

My heart goes out to Haiti; my heartfelt appreciation goes out to those who have raised funds, regardless of Race or Religion, for that Country, whose heroic efforts began the process for the end of Slavery and Paleo-Colonization.

Embattled Tiger Woods still got a $ 3 million donation out, Hollywood actors/actresses, Artists like Wyclef are reaching out, while Messrs ‘I-just-emerged-from-closed-door-meetings-with-God’ tell them that it is God’s punishment for them; Job sure has Miserable Comforters!

LETTERS FROM JERUSALEM

2009-11-17T04:03:00.000-08:00

Honestly, I am fed up of getting angry at those stereotyping Nigerians as scammers.

Now, let’s talk, Talakawa, let’s talk, and when we’re done talking, should your ‘up-before-the-cock-crows-hop-into-my-work clothes-hard-earned’ cash go into the hands of scammers, ‘imma whup your butt real bad!!!’

Three hundred grand got moved from a friend’s account, and it hurts so bad.

The Robin Hood theory is beginning to nauseate real bad. I could understand Charles Davis Jr. (Abiodun Oyewole of The Last Poets)’s passion when he robbed the KKK to assist fellow revolutionaries (even though I have serious issues with two wrongs making a right), what I will never understand is the silly ‘reparation-by-fraud’ doctrine.

My reasons are clear, and I will illustrate with this: when the former-CBN-Governor-turned-Guber-Aspirant’s father was kidnapped, I felt sorry for the people of Anambra State, in particular if the ransom got paid. I hereby submit that the ransom is Anambra’s coffers ‘Cash-Advance’ in the event of the subject’s emergence as the Governor of the State.

The dilemma of the 21st Century Robin Hood is that when he robs the rich, the rich go out to re-rob the poor!

With sufficient whistle blowing, Letters from Jerusalem (the ancestor of the Nigerian Letter) and all cognate forms are beginning to lose popularity, people hardly reply those fraudulent mails, and so, the Con Man went back to the drawing board.

Electronic mails and Short Message Service (SMS) messages notifying prospective dumbos about lotteries-they-never-played-but-won and somehow, people parted with call-credit recharge vouchers among many other things; even in the dictionary, greed precedes gullibility!

Alas! Like the late Christopher Wallace (BIG) would have said, “Things done changed”. The game has moved up another notch and you don’t need to be a simpleton to qualify.

The Automated Teller Machine (ATM) cards got compromised sometime last year and people started receiving alerts of ‘unsolicited withdrawals’ on their behalf. Some lodged complaints at the banks; I even have a friend who, while lodging the complaint, his ATM card in hand, the withdrawals continued right before the Customer Care staff! I personally do not think the friend in question has the gift of telekinesis; and if he did, his ATM card, to the best of my knowledge is not operated remotely, so, what really went down?

The ATM card has a magnetic stripe which contains routing data only. All personal information is encrypted through Triple DES (Data Encryption Standard) which is near impossible to crack; BUT that magnetic stripe data can be copied and used to print out duplicate cards and with the availability of cheap spy cameras, your PIN can be read!

I have seen people leave their ATM receipts behind, thinking it is of no use; just how dumb do we want to be? The debit card details are obviously on the slips for goodness sake!

I am trying hard to keep my manners here; ATTENTION SHOPPING FREAKS! You sure feel good swiping your cards over those P.O.S (Point of Sale) terminals, and you quickly punch your PIN and then, your account seems inaccessible, then you use another P.O.S. terminal and then it works, and you heave a sigh of relief. Can I scare you for a minute? What if you just punched over a card-reader? You think it is impossible? Go on and search!

What beats me is the seeming failure of the Economic Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) to put a check on these activities. I know you’d say they are not magicians, I am not asking them to flip any wand either. What baffles me is why, in spite of the fact that these machines have cameras that take pictures (which has come in handy in resolving some cases), pictures of these ‘unsolicited withdrawers’ have not made centre-spread of Newspapers, IDEAS, ANYONE???!!!

Now you can all breathe easy. No one needs to come after your cards anymore. Thanks to Phishing (pronounced fishing) and e-mail spoofing, a mail can come straight into your inbox allegedly from your bank, using your bank’s actual e-mail ID!

Here is an example (I have edited the link so you would not end up clicking the URL and ruin things for me):

Dear customer,

During our regularly scheduled account maintenance and verification procedures, we have detected a slight error in your account information.

This might be due to either of the following reasons:

1. A recent change in your personal information (i.e. change of address).
2. Submitting invalid information during the initial sign up process.
3. An inability to accurately verify your selected option of payment due to an internal error within our automated teller machine (ATM) processors.

Please update and verify your information by clicking the link below:

https://ebank.iremovedthenameofthebankforobviousreasons.com/netbanking/

If your account information is not updated within 48 hours then your ability to access your account will become restricted.

Note: Username (Account Number) and Password are numeric. Refer to your e-banking signup form.

Thank you

· Please do not respond to this email as your reply will not be received.

The irony of it all is that the URL is https, which is supposed to be secure! My friend followed a link like this and he was led to a well designed web-portal that even looks more authentic than the cheap versions the banks have themselves. He entered his details, and Bingo! He had sold his account’s soul to hell-hole! In less than 24hrs, he was 300 grand (in Naira) poorer than the previous day!

Verve cards which are meant to be more secure are taking over from the magnetic-strip based ATM cards, people are getting more careful about giving information online, and if you are still careless enough to use cyber-cafes and you don’t clear your browsing history and delete all cookies, the cookies will morph into dookie on your plate!

Backtrack to Sweden, January 2008.

A bank employee noticed that the mouse pointer on his system was moving by it self. He then quickly looked behind the computer and finally found under his desk a hidden device that was connected to the computer to remotely control his computer. Pulling the cables stopped a transfer of several million Swedish Kronor!

Nigerians did not notice, sorry, the average Nigerian did not notice. November 2009, Ekerette Esennubong Obot, Kayode Ogunmolade, Dele Ige, and Olanrewaju Ipaye were arrested following a tip-off from a bank official. The official was approached to help connect a particular hardware: Key Loggers

You heard that before? This is what it does:

It tracks the keys struck on a keyboard, typically in a covert manner so that the person using the keyboard is unaware that their actions are being monitored! Those boys came with hardware, but there are software versions of it that can be installed on your computer, even without your direct permission.

The scammers may use spam emails with attachment, pop-up ads, applications with malicious codes, free gaming and porn sites. The scammer may lure you to click the acceptance button of any so-called free software in order to let his logger creep into your system and start spying. The user will never know that something is settling on his system as the loggers are generally hidden and are usually considered safe by antivirus software applications and firewalls.

Key loggers have certain options like the hide-mode, where no icon is visible in the applications list. They can rename any executable file and change registry entries.

Do I need to say more? All you Bluetooth activators in ‘free-trade zones’…. DO I REALLY NEED TO TELL YOU ANYTHING ELSE?

The Slave Ships

2009-10-26T06:38:00.000-07:00

Mr. Rainhargt Fleischer, an expatriate German technician of Julius Berger Plc, in the course of supervising the maintenance of a part of the Nigerian Senate building, kicked a Nigerian in the crotch so hard that the guy slipped into coma; and so freaking what???

We’ve all been and we still are kicked daily in the groin and that explains why we have been so unproductive.

The Berlin 1884-1885 Scramble for Africa will definitely not be the last time Africa will be up for sales in absentia; Slavery will never be confined the annals of history. The same way old fashion trends get recycled, the same way the Master-Slave relationship reincarnates with different names. Racism is alive, and to think otherwise is to believe the KKK is now admitting Blacks!

When Ahmadinejad allegedly denied the Holocaust ever took place, the whole world felt he was insensitive to the annihilation of 6 million Jews, but I would like to find out if any figure has been given till date on the number of African children killed in the name of vaccination! Pfizer’s Trovan experiment in Northern Nigeria would make Hitler’s SS Doctors green with envy because it will never be recorded as a war crime, nor as genocide, but what is it, really?

I am one of those with the conviction that the Union Jack would not have been lowered had the Oil discovery in Oloibiri been much earlier than 1958. Alas! Several other flags, each with trademark Skull and Crossbones have taken random turns to signal the handing over of the rudder to Pirates of various races and cultures.

With the bulk of Nigerian engineering graduates ending up as bankers and the ones in cognate fields working in multinational companies not having actual exposure to jealously guarded ‘trade secrets’ of such companies, is it not obvious we are programmed to self-destruct?

I weep each day I see the Julius Berger Blue Maria (for want of better connotation for that truck with makeshift cabin) conveying construction workers to site. I see these hapless people even exhibiting territorial behavior, their gular folds rising when fellow-slaves-who-do-not-belong-to-our-camp try to hop in for a free-ride.

It beats me for a Company committed to “the observance of all Health, Safety and Environment requirements in accordance with international practice”! This is why I personally do not believe the so called Neo-Nazi; there is nothing new about it at all, as a matter of fact, most of these taskmasters will out-perform Hitler, Period!

"We feel that serious consideration should be given to workers' welfare. To convey workers in the kind of containers that we have seen Julius Berger do over the years is deplorable and condemnable. In this 21st century, we feel that workers should be better treated.

This issue of using containers has been discussed over time. It is disappointing that up till now, the practice has not stopped. The Senate Committee on Labour will take serious action on this matter when we reconvene.” - Senator Wilson Ake

That was August 2, 2008.

Who remembers the 2006 indictment and shutdown of Julius Berger Pharmacies in connection with the sale of fake drugs which were imported from Sinochem Ningbo, a Chinese company blacklisted by NAFDAC, and the discriminatory and unethical practice of dispensing fake/substandard drugs to Nigerians and reserving quality ones for expatriates? I have always believed this Nation suffers from mass amnesia!

This is a Company, allegedly said to be indigenous since the purchase of 51% of its stake leaving only 49% stake with Bilfinger Berger Germany, with a Nigerian Chairman, that still segregates Nigerian staff! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!

Why would a drug banned in the United States become the right drug to treat children with meningitis? And how on earth were these drugs tested without verification? With all the ‘indigenization’ of pharmaceutical companies in Nigeria, how come no company has set up a basic active raw material manufacturing plant in Nigeria, not even for Paracetamol or Aspirin? Does it come as a surprise anymore, then, that any online search you do on the origin of HIV/AIDS now points to ‘Sub-Saharan Africa’?

Let me move on. I remember a seminar a presented as an undergraduate on Oil-Shale as an alternative energy source. When it was time for questions, I recall a lecturer asking me why we should bother about an ‘Alternative Energy Source’ when we still have the Oil. If only they knew how close we are to exhausting our reserves!

What are we going to do when that day dawns? Who are those that will spearhead the drive to enhance our own technology? Those engineers that have been condemned to the claustrophobia-inducing four walls of the banking sector? The ones in the Oil companies who know next to diddly when it comes to the actual operations?

I find what we call ‘indigenous companies’ extremely laughable. One crony of the same set of soldiers that took Nigeria down this lane with the 1966 (add another 6 to get the mark of the beast that they are) ‘counter-coup’ gets the Oil Block which he knows nothing about, he brings in another stooge who pretends to know anything about it, the stooge brings in a ‘foreign partner’ who pretends to know nothing till he’s done milking everybody dry! Phew!

Do you see what I see? The Western Pirates have been identified, so we looked out to welcome the Asian sailors. What we fail to do is look closely at all the flags….because if we did; the only thing we were meant to see in the first place is Skulls and Crossbones! Ubangiji Kiyaye!!!

MY RESIGNATION

2009-09-29T07:52:00.000-07:00

Dear All,

They said counting imaginary sheep jumping over a pen is a cure for insomnia.

But tonight, I won’t be counting sheep; I would be counting the number of Nigerian journalists murdered on a Sunday.

Should that be insufficient, I would count all murdered Nigerian journalists and add the geometrically progressive list of unresolved murders since the blasting away of Dele Giwa of Newswatch on the 19^th of October 1986. It was on a Sunday.

I closed my eyes, instead of seeing sheep jumping over a pen, I saw Abayomi Ogundeji, Godwin Agbroko, Omololu Falobi, Bagauda Kaltho, Tunde Oladepo, Krees Imodibie , Tayo Awotusin….why should those who live by the Pen die by the Gun?

Is it hate, or the desire to instill terror that motivated those who killed an Assistant Editor of The Guardian newspapers, Mr. Bayo Ohu on September 20, 2009? Why did they use the caliber of bullets that will make an elephant beg to die voluntarily?

Freedom of Speech is not a myth in Nigeria; however, this ‘freedom’ has a conjoined twin: Freedom to be suicidal!

On this note, I tender my resignation, details of which I shall give later. I want to make every moment count because things will never be the same again.

The Pen is a Penitentiary. You are sentenced without the right to any hearing at all; you just get up one day and discover you are in it. The Pen has made many rich; at the expense of the prisoner everybody calls the ‘Gifted Writer’ because he is more than often the poor victim trapped within this Pen to the extent he lives in Penury!

The pen is that Pendant that hung on Frodo the Hobbit’s neck (Lord of the Rings, anyone?), the ring of Sauron that weighs heavily on the bearer and often brings him to an unwilling fate…is this a rant, or some feeble attempt at Poetry? Could this really be coming from Plumbtifex Rantimus, the Prolific Priest of the Proles?

Is there anybody that really wants to die?

My submission is that even the suicide bomber has to be ‘rightly motivated’ to make the prospect more appealing; from the promise to have wide-eyed houris at your beck-and-call in the hereafter to the promise to take care of the martyr’s family in the all too certain event of his/her demise.

So what is the motivation for the man of the pen?

Is it the take-home peanuts from the boss that knows next to diddly about journalism? Or the ‘job satisfaction’ of putting up a ‘masterpiece’ that went over the heads of the numb audience like one of those KKK hoods? Could it be the knowledge that promises that more than often go unfulfilled will be made to your widow and fatherless kids (if you had them before you got dispatched) and you will be mourned on the pages of the same papers that drank your ink while you were at it and eventually made the sand-macadam-rug-anyothersurface drink your blood? Or, the fact that even those that hired the assassins will mourn you publicly and the Police will blame it on armed robbers (an indirect way of telling the ‘numb audience’ that your case is closed long before your casket was)?

Even the Average Nigerian Coward (ANC) knows he’s going to die someday; his only problem is that he desires to hang on a little bit, sing some more Te Deum Laudamus, gripe in silence a little more about how bad things are, hoping things will change by some stroke of design. Need I also add that he doesn’t want to go violently?

For those that are wont to profile people based on their nationality (a safer way to be racist and get away with it) and tribal affiliations, Bayo Ohu throws a poser to you all.

If you followed my previous post, you will realize I admitted that more often than not, the Yoruba tribe in Nigeria fits more into the ‘ANC’ mould. Now, among the Yoruba, a man from Oyo is seen as the one who prefers to say ‘the absence of pigmentation’ instead of ‘White’. An Oyo man is perceived the king of cowards (and consequently treachery) among those that are generally perceived as cowards.

Bayo Owu was an Oyo man, and he DID NOT fit that bill. That is an aside anyway.

I recall the irony of a late Nigerian Army General who, when asked if he actually begged a subordinate (lying prostrate on the floor) for his dear life, responded “I will not deny that I begged, at least I am still useful to somebody today” he eventually died shortly afterwards as a result of a ghastly motor accident. I couldn’t help wondering if getting two to four more years is a good bargain for a perpetual reputation as a coward (oh, I forgot the man once governed Oyo State!).

In any case, plotting a coup (phantom or not) tells me that the culprit is fully aware of the risks, and the pecuniary gains of a success scenario is what we can all attest to (if in doubt, ask Babangida or Obasanjo). So, what is the pecuniary gain inherent in being a writer? You would be quick to mention J. K. Rowling (the Harry Potter dude), James Patterson or Stephen King, and I will be quick to tell you that even a vendor can be a millionaire.

That explains why pen men are taking government appointments with all their soul.

What are the viable options in a Country where a business man whose sole contribution to the Country is installing and uninstalling Governors like they are some driver software, has twenty five (25) Police Aides (and I could swear those 25 would have lobbied for the ‘lucrative’ job)! To think the Federal Executive Government had the nerve to announce the withdrawal of security detail to Nigerian judges (I don’t give a hoot if there was a change in position on that)!

In a Country of jumbled priorities, I hereby announce MY RESIGNATION.

I resign to my destiny and purpose in life and I embrace it with all of my heart. I resign to the Penitentiary that the Pen (and lately the keyboard of this HP that is fast wearing out my finger-print) has locked me in, the solitary confines of my Brain Cells with myriads of ticks in my head. I resign to the burden that this Pendant is. Should I come out of the Pen to live in a resplendent mansion, complete with a Penthouse, should my Pen become so powerful that even the entire defense resource of the Pentagon can’t withstand, I am bound to it, bound to the inspiration that moves my ink.

Why then should I continue to fight it? I RESIGN!

IS THERE ANY VOICE LEFT?

2009-09-11T00:18:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, the 5^thof September, 2009, a man died of Stage 3B Lung Cancer. It is considered inoperable, but treatable.

He never smoked, never was a factory worker, nor lived in an aerially polluted environment.

He had the chance to go abroad when Nigerian Doctors, within the limits of available facilities and an unreadable chest x-ray, diagnosed ‘Heart-Failure’ (same way they traced my friend’s partial paralysis to tuberculosis, whereas all he did when he had to travel abroad was undergo some therapy that had the use of his limbs restored); rather he stayed back, till it was ‘too late’.

This is a man whose death and mourning made week-long headlines, who was mourned in every part of the nation, a man that commercial motorcyclists (they played an active role in his unsuccessful Presidential bid) and beggars mourned openly.

He was not a President, no, Nigeria has a remarkable ability to fail when it comes with crowning their best in their life-time, he held no political office, he never enrolled in the Army; yet, we may never find someone else who fought to improve the plight of the citizenry, and whose passing away at the age of 71 evoked tears and inspired so many articles like he did.

I am talking of AbdulGaniyu Oyesola Fawehinmi (Gani).

Had I the opportunity to be the one to write the epitaph of this author, publisher, philanthropist, social critic, human and civil rights lawyer, politician, Senior Advocate of the Masses and a Senior Advocate of Nigeria (SAN, the equivalent of the rank of Queen's Counsel in the United Kingdom), I would write:

‘Here lies the man to whom the health of Nigeria meant more to him than his own’

Someone once remarked: ‘If you want a letter to get to Gani, send it to the Nigerian Prisons, he is either in, recently out, or on his way to one’

If you believed nothing changed in Nigeria since the end of Military rule in 1999, one thing at least changed: Nigeria’s MOST JAILED lodged more at home (instead of prison) from then.

With a jail record of 32 times (including the dreaded Gashua Prison) that would have made him a certified multi-platinum hip hop album seller if he had been a Queens Bridge, New-York native, one would be tempted to say Nigeria deserves every ridicule that has come her way till date.

Treasury looters get federal honors and receive court injunctions that keep them from arrest and prosecution, but someone got locked up 32 times for standing for what he believed in.

Going by what he said himself, the 1989 Gashua one year incarceration would be what took him down the path to the only battle he would lose: The battle against Cancer. With several tear-gas inhalations in several rallies, and the spraying of his cell in Gashua with undisclosed substances, it is actually a miracle that he made it to 71.

Prison wardens were warned to make sure he had nothing to read, by the time he was out, he could recite what was written on the label of a particular beverage because that was the only ‘readable’ material a sympathetic prison warden could sneak in for him. I shudder to think of what will happen if I were in his shoes.

A lot has been said of this man this week alone, and I sincerely do not want this to be just one of them, but for a man I got to know of and admired all through the Dele Giwa murder saga, the Ken Saro Wiwa mockery of a trial which he had to pull out of because staying on the case is to lend credibility to a trial whose results had been pre-determined, up to his rejection of the OFR national award in his dying days.

I have heard lawyers who would never have been one had it not been for Gani, I have heard scholars who would have been something else if they had not benefited from his Scholarship awards. If there ever would be a man close to the ‘Died Empty’ honor, it is this man. He virtually poured himself out till he was empty for this Country.

At this point, I proceed to slap myself and hope my tear stung eyes resonate in your minds; WAKE UP NIGERIA!!!

If health-care remains as it is and we lose our gems to poor diagnosis, Gani died in vain. If the next elections get rigged and everyone goes on as if nothing happened, if you keep paying water and light bills for non-existent services, if Banks keep giving you silly excuses for not giving you your hard earned money upon demand, if you ever tolerate any form of injustice, if you still urge a bus driver to allow the Policeman extort him so that you all can ‘go’, Gani must be the most stupid person that ever lived and his words ‘stand for the truth, even if you are standing alone’ would be mere ranting of the deranged.

At this time that politicians and political-jobbers are seeking to out-perform each other in eulogizing this man, even though a good number of them contributed to his eventual death and some are inwardly heaving a sigh of relief that their ‘accuser’ is gone, there is no amount of ‘verbal contortion’ that would suffice to honor what he lived and died for.

I am yet to hear someone speak so passionately about Nigeria like he did. His was the plight of a committed husband to an unfaithful bride.

A man with a widowed mother (by the time his mother passed on, his worst ordeals were over) and children eventually numbering up to fourteen (14) does not fit the bill for a risk taker. A man who has made substantial income from Law Report Publications would not strike you as a man willing to go everywhere with his toothpaste and brush in anticipation of arrest and detention. His profile represented that of the Average Nigerian Coward (ANC): Yoruba (I am from that tribe myself), financially ‘comfortable’, mother (optional), wife and kids (or hopes to have some soon), yet, one word you can never use to describe the late icon is COWARD.

He was a Mai Surutu (trouble maker), who took his fight to the Temple of Justice armed with one weapon that the worst dictators feared: HIS VOICE; and it hurts that one thing the Cancer took away before he eventually bowed out was that same voice.

I really don’t give a hoot if you have the most mellifluous baritone in the world or you sound like a nightingale, if your voice has done nothing to improve the plight of those who cannot speak for themselves, I really wonder what you are doing on this planet.

Is it not a shame that Forbes billio-debtor-naires did (and still (will) do) nothing for their community and some still had the nerve to dissuade people from accepting the scholarships this man single-handedly awarded? He benefited from no government-induced-lucre, yet he GAVE.

At this point, I am seriously considering the existence of an incurable African malaise: OPTHALOCASHAEMIA. Now, don’t Google yet, I invented this term to describe the desire to have cash just for the purpose of feasting your eyes on it. How else would one explain why looted funds by individuals are to the tune of billions? One would think they hope to be buried in some Gothic mausoleum or mummified a la Pharaoh Tutankhamen (King Tut), please don’t give me that crap that they are stashing it for their descendants, because it is extremely dumb to stash for a generation yet unborn when by their actions, a generation immediately before them might just as well be annihilated.

I say this because I have been on the same project with the son of one who earned notoriety for a mortgaged conscience. I noted the appearance of armed security detail that disappeared soon as the boy had to change hotels. Before my very eyes, the boy denied his father, even though the surname is a very uncommon surname in Nigeria (in spite of the fact that his father came around physically to make plans for his son). God forbid my name becomes a liability to my descendants! (Have you noticed that most of them do not have a John Doe type of surname? You don’t just pick an Abacha surname on the streets, for instance).

One other rare trait I found in this man was the fact that when it came to issues dear to his heart, he had neither permanent friends nor enemies.

From taking sides with the Military Regime of Buhari when tribunals were set up to try civilians and a decree which attracted death penalty for narcotics peddlers was backdated to execute Benard Ogedegbe, Bathlomew Owoh and Akanni Ojuolape (this caused a rift between Gani and the Nigerian Bar Association), to being the thorn in the flesh of the same tribunal (compare this to his pulling out of Ken Saro Wiwa’s trial and you will understand the difference between Buhari and Abacha).

Even his long time ally, late Dr. Beko Ransome Kuti came under his vocal hammer when he received foreign funding. Olu Onagoruwa was not spared either when he chose to serve under Abacha’s despotic regime.

I cannot forget how he took up Bola Tinubu on the ‘University-of-Chicago-Chicago-State-University-are-you-kidding-me-which-is-which?’ drama (Salisu-Buhari-Toronto-Certificate, anyone?).

I read a well-meaning (I presume) remark by Retired General Muhammadu Buhari that Gani should be given a post-humous award, now that he is in no position to reject it. My only reservation about that is what Gani himself said when he turned down the OFR (Officer of the Federal Republic):

“…..In the light of the above, I cannot accept the ‘honour’ of OFR. WHETHER NOW OR IN THE LIFE BEYOND. How can I wake up in the morning and look at the insignia of honour bestowed on me under a government that persecutes anti-corruption effort, particularly those of Nuhu Ribadu? (Emphasis mine)”

THE NIGERIAN THEATRE

2009-09-03T05:47:00.000-07:00

I have always maintained that the pseudotalakawa are the most pathetic breed to ever evolve in Nigeria and anywhere else in the world as a matter of fact.

Is it not awful ridiculous that Forbes billionaires owe banks to the point of insolvency? In the Middle East, you should fear a ‘terrorist’ who intends to blow you into oblivion, but in Nigeria, ‘Fear not he that can blow you into oblivion, rather, fear he that can owe you into oblivion and blow you if you don’t permit them to owe you!’ (That is the Talakawa gospel, ‘happy are ye if ye abide’).

At the time District 9 got added to the growing list of Hollywood movies ridiculing Nigeria, it hurts to see the level of greed and avarice that blossomed between 1999 and 2007 alone. It is therefore, only natural to ‘rejoice’ that Five Nigerian Bank MD/CEOs (Mr. Sebasti(an)(ne) Adigwe (Afribank), Mr. Okey Nwosu (Finbank), Dr. Erastus Akingbola (Intercontinental Bank), Dr. (Mrs.) Cecilia Ibru (Oceanic Bank), and Dr. Bath Ebongwere (Union Bank) were fired in a fresh attempt by the new CBN Governor to restore sanity to the Banking Sector.

What actually hurts is the fact that it is still hard for the Talakawa to see that they are being entertained again.

I had earlier remarked in my June 3 post (TRANCE COP) that “True to type, the Talakawa must be entertained; therefore a Gladiator must kiss the sands of the Coliseum”.

That is the first amendment to the Maxims of the Talakawa.

I know that in every crime, an accessory is equally guilty as hell, what leaves me confused is why the accused struts the town, shakes-hands-and-let’s be friends-again with friends-turned-foes-turned-friends-again and to pacify the blood-thirsty audience, returns part of the money he borrowstoled (you won’t find this in any dictionary) while the once hailed First and Second Ladies/Men of Banking get some VIP (Very Important Pseudotalakawa) treatment in EFCC Hotels and Accommodation.

I have never doubted the showbiz capacity of the Farida led EFCC, what I never expected was the Red Costume they wore as they led the Gladiators to the Court Coliseum; Are you not Entertained??? Is that some gang sign flashing or what?

In the midst of all the thumbs down and the baying for blood, can we just have a moment of silence?

Close your eyes, open your mind, else you will be left on the same spot the day the entire game gets played out.

How did an individual get to owe N88.3 billion? Was he trying to outperform good ole’ Bernie Madoff? Why would an I-used-to-be-obscure-MD/CEO be the guilty one when he is actually eight steps down on the economic food-chain of the Board of Directors? I will not tell you the answer, I would only ask you to Google Falcon Securities Board of Directors….after all, we are in the season everyone is economical with truth!

In an economy that trades money with money a la Stock Market and Share Certificates are used as collateral, what do you expect? Honestly, I need answers. Nigeria, We Have A Problem!!!!

Where did the funds used in the last Campaign that brought in the present administration come from? This is where we all are culpable. If you bought shares with the intention to trade, fall in line. If you deposited your money in the bank (where else would you, anyway?) the joke is on you too. By your failure either in voting for the stooges or by not voting at all, you are equally culpable. Mrs. Cecilia Ibru and co. are not the only ones being docked; WE ALL ARE!!!

If you still spent your money buying newspapers at the time the media became a profit racketeering venture, if you cheered as your bank, aren’t we all dumb? We call it our bank simply because we surrendered the rights to our money to them…does your daddy own a fraction of the bank? Excuse my manners please. If you cheered as your bank got those Awards, you are culpable too.

Intercontinental Bank Plc emerged overall best winners at the Maiduguri Bankers Clearing House Dinner organized by the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) this same year and carted away four awards: Best Clearing Bank of the Year, Best Promoter of e-payment, Most Punctual Bank and the Best Error-Free Bank Awards for 2008 at the same event; so what went down in-between May and now? I’d tell you: NOTHING!!!

How come the banks that had the blessings of the ‘gods’ that even had ‘Divine Accounts’ tailor-made for churches to get loans for state-of-the-art equipment are the culpable ones? So, church, fall in line!!! These same people that had their hands soiled one way or the other are the ‘cheerful givers’ that had a good place in the heart of clerics! And I will eat my head (apologies to Mr Grimwig of Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist) if we didn’t have among them, those that helped build mosques too.

What happened to the 716 cases comprising 672 civil and 44 criminal cases that were disposed off along with Abacha’s Failed Banks Tribunal? Where on earth is that Forum Bank dude that fooled us all by getting revered Nigerian actors on the advert and pioneered building architectural masterpieces as banks? He vanished into thin air and left holes in so many hearts, literally.

It is awful sad that the gloomy days of dictatorship did not succeed in dragging Nigerians down this deep; there wasn’t a District 9 Movie, Sony did not have a nerve to ridicule us in a PlayStation advert…but to borrow from the late Christopher Wallace (BIG), ‘Things Done Changed’.

And so I add, if you ever bought a Nigerian CD glamorizing crime, you contributed to all this mess! And if you never bought a CD, you also did! How??!! You still don’t see? At a time good music that is value driven is not ‘selling’ in the market and a good number of Nigerians prefer to buy pirated versions or burn from another CD, these artistes had to look for ‘Corporate Endorsement’ and where did they get it from? Those election jingles; where did the finances come from? You must be living in the ‘Boko Haram’ age if you think it came from someone’s hard earned cash!!! I need to correct myself here; yes it is someone’s hard earned cash, the money we all dumped in those places dreaming of fat returns…that is the Plight of the Proletariat!

However, I must thank Madame Hilary Clinton for rubbing in what we all knew: Our Institutions are not corrupt, CORRUPTION is OUR INSTITUTION! If nothing, Ms. Waziri found a job to do at last asides warming an Abuja seat, the House of Representatives had a chance to amuse us by displaying their wanton ignorance about the same Law they are said to be makers of and had to be tutored by the Bow-Tie-wearing-CBN-Governor, I solemnly declare that if Lamido Sanusi decides to vie for a Legislative Seat with Lagos as his constituency, despite the fact that he is Fulani, I WILL VOTE HIM IN!

This Nation is in a Theatre of sick absurdities. At the time all those clowns could say about the Benin-Ore Road that has claimed lives in unprecedented numbers is:

“…using the Benin-Ore road is ACTUALLY ENCASING or ENGAGING IN A MACABRE DANCE!....And this is really a sardonic situation!
This ANOMY has to be looked into with grave URGENCY!
The whole state is LUGUBRIOUS!..”

and up till now nothing has been done about it, we know we have a problem. The Bank’s Gladiators are the ones in the Coliseum today, the dust will settle soon and it will be another Gladiator’s turn…I dare to submit, at the risk of being contradicted is that the best we would get of all this is one word: ENTERTAINMENT!