Raspberry Stethoscope

I love CrossFit

2012-01-28T14:52:00.002-05:00

I am still loving CrossFit! My favorite part thus far has been doing olympic style lifts! I LOVE IT.
During my last On Ramp class, we worked again on the power clean, but this time added in the jerk!
It was seriously so much fun. I feel so strong when I do these lifts. I am definitely getting the hang of it, too. You really have to put your legs into it with a jump to get it over your head. It is definitely a confidence booster when you throw that weight over your head.

He then took me through a metcon workout that was AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) in 15:00 minutes:
-5 power cleans and jerks (I think my weight was 65lbs...i keep forgetting how much the actual bar weighs!)
-10 pushups
-15 squats
-20 sit ups

Listen, this doesn't seem all that difficult, but I can assure you that it was!
I ended up doing 4 rounds plus 17 (17=5 power cleans/jerks, 10 pushups, and 2 squats before the clock hit 15).
The pushups proved to the most difficult for me, even when I went to my knees. My arms were just so tired from the lifting. I was soaking wet, dripping sweat all over the floor. My face was bright red (so pretty, right?).
Honestly, I could barely lift my arms afterwards because they were so heavy!!!
After resting a bit, we worked more with the kettle bell. He tried to show me a turkish get-up towards the end, but I was so unfocused and tired that he gave up! ha. Next time, though!

I went to the WOD this morning alone because Mirza said he was "too sore." pft. lame.
The warm up was 10 sampsons, 10 pushups, 10 tea kettles?, 20 of __ (<--taking a large bar and stretching it behind your back), running around the building (325 meters), 50 double unders or 150 single jump ropes..I think that was it? I always seriously forget what we do in the warm-up!

I'm in the black

So, here was the WOD, which didn't sound so bad when I initially looked at it, bahaha (1st rule of CrossFit for me: never think, "this will be easy"):

Plate Run and Burpee Box Jumps

5 rounds for Rx. 3 rounds for beginners

10 Burpee box jumps 24/20 inches
325 m. Plate run 35/25 lbs. (one lap around the building) 5 equals 1 mile.

Carrying your plate any way you can, run around the building. There is a 5 burpee penalty for setting your plate down outside of the box to be done before advancing. There is a 15 burpee penalty for throwing your plate down.

Initially, I said I would do 3 rounds because I am a "beginner," but then another girl was doing 5, and I said, "FINE, if she's doing 5, then I am, too." I knew I would be the last to finish, but I was determined to get it done...and with the prescribed workout, meaning I wouldn't use a shorter box or lighter weight.

I'm in the black standing up about to do a box jump!

Essentially, you're doing a burpee and then jumping up onto the 20 inch box. 10 of these. Then you run around the building with the 25 lb plate.

Getting ready to jump...

And jumping! POW!

Box jumps always sound so much easier to me than they are in reality. However, I do love them. I love how you really have to slam your whole body to get up sometimes. POW!!!! It makes a huge noise.

I didn't actually carry my weight like this for long because my arms are so short. I ended up carrying it behind me, kind of on my back/butt. It looked awkward, but honestly, it's what worked best for me. Any other way just made my stomach hurt!!

By the fourth round, I thought about giving up. I honestly thought while running, "okay, four is better than three." But when I got back to the box, I just went for it. I knew I was last, but I didn't care since I was doing the prescribed workout!

Two other people "ran" with me at the end. When I got back, I threw my plate on the floor and demanded a marker to write my time by my name. 29:13 rx!!! Seems like forever, but it was quick in my head.

And then I laid down.

Sporting my CrossFit tank

Grieving process

2012-01-27T09:23:00.001-05:00

Currently battling a cold--stuffy nose, tickle in the throat, etc. Annoying, right?

I wanted to touch on something quickly.

The last year, as you know, has been difficult for me. Okay, let's just say it: the last year SUCKED. Plain and simple.

The main aspect was my mother's death. Towards the end of 2011, I was incredibly depressed and angry. There was an entire weekend when I honestly think that Mirza was afraid for me because I laid in bed all day crying, cursing, and generally being miserable. That was a low point.

I don't know what studies say, but once we reached the one year mark (January 5th), it was almost like I entered into the "acceptance" stage of grieving. It's funny, though, because I was actually afraid of this date. I understand that we will go through the stages of grieving in no particular order, and may go back into the stages as time progresses, but I've definitely felt a shift of some sort.

On the anniversary of my mom's death, I decided to take the rest of her ashes from my closet and bring them to the beach, in front of one of her favorite spots: The Swigwam. This was a bar on the beach that looked more like a hut. People would write all over the wood, leave messages, koozies' hung from the ceiling etc. When we first moved to Florida, it was definitely one of her favorite spots to sit back and relax with her sisters when they visited (and have a few (+) drinks, of course).

My mother (left) and Aunt Deb enjoying the Swigwam

Since we have already scattered her ashes at Margarittaville in Key West (she would have loved this), and throughout her favorite spots back home in Massachusetts, including a lilac bush in my sister's yard, and her father and mother's grave site, the Swigwam was definitely the last spot on the list.

At first, I couldn't find it! The hotel it was associated with had been bought out by another company. I walked and walked down St. Pete Beach and finally stumbled upon the bar, but it was different. It was no longer the Swigwam by name, but it looked pretty much the same. I felt like I harbored a huge secret with my mom's ashes in my purse, but I walked up the stairs to the bartender and asked him, "Did this place used to be the Swigwam?" to which he replied, "Yes." I told him that's all I needed to know and made my way closer to the shore. I sat on a wooden chair and buried the rest of her ashes in the sand. At this spot, 18 years ago, you would have found a younger me building sand castles. I literally said out loud, "Bye Mom," and made the long trek back to my car. It wasn't a huge sentimental moment for me at the time. I was casual in my thought and process. I did what needed to be done!

While it's sad that a piece of my family's "history" in Florida has been changed with the death of the Swigwam, I feel it's only fitting that it died along with my mother...

Since then, I've felt free. I don't know what happened. Maybe I am in the acceptance phase? There will be days that I will be angry, depressed, in denial, etc, but I think for now...I am accepting it. I feel good. And I hope I'm not speaking too soon.
It reminds me of a poem that my uncle Gary wrote (that my Grandpa "read" during her memorial service)

It's hard to be strong when you're fighting back tears

If you think of past memories as just wasted years.

Life can seem cruel and very unfair,

But you can't change the past; it will always be there.

Days may look darker, nights may feel long,
Things may seem different, but you have to be strong

The knots in your stomach may hurt deep inside,

The tension, and the anger, the hurt of your pride.

You try to be strong and keep it together,

But things just don't seem real and time takes forever.

Thousands of thoughts just whirl through your mind;

Your life, your future, you try to unwind.

Answers seem hard to the questions you ask;

You think to yourself, "how long will it last?"

The present begins as the past slips away.

It lasts only a moment, it's not here to stay.

So look to the future and learn from your past.

The future starts now,

But your memories will last.

So try to be strong when you're fighting back tears.

Because memories are memories, and not wasted years.

I did keep a small amount of her ashes for one day when I do own a home, I can plant something pretty for her.

Friday's WOD, grad school, and wedding planning--oh my!

2012-01-20T15:21:00.001-05:00

Are you getting sick of my crossfit posts yet?:)
Currently, I'm only doing crossfit twice per week, but the owner told me I could come in on Saturday! However, I work on Saturday:( I told him that I needed my crossfit fix (I can easily see this becoming an obsession) because Tuesday (our next on-ramp) feels like months away, so he let me come in today. Score.

Again, the terms for what we did still escape my mind at times...

This was only my 2nd WOD since I've been doing on-ramp classes. There were 3 guys, and then me!

He told us that this was an "easier" WOD. bah!

I began with a 500 meter row.

And then we warmed-up
We warmed-up with 2 rounds of:
- 10 sampsons (lunging/walk/stretch)
- bear crawls (crawling across the rubber floor like a...bear?)
- plank crawls (ughhh!!! ouch my wrists)
- 10 ___ : NO idea what these were called, but essentially, in a plank and then bringing legs up to meet hands quickly on each side

We then worked on hanging from the pull-up bar. I hung for one minute.< Insert curse words here.> It wasn't bad when doing it, but letting go: my palms were bright red with white spots. ouch, ouch, ouch. After this, we practiced hanging with swinging through and then stopping. Apparently, this is supposed to get you prepared for real pull-ups!

Onto the WOD:

For Time:

150 ABMAT Sit-ups

5 Push-up EMOM

Rest precisely 3 minutes, then:

150 Air Squats

5 Ring Dip EMOM

For sit-ups and squats, you will do 5 push-ups and 5 Ring Dips respectively, on the minute, every minute. The faster each athlete completes their sit-ups the less push-ups are needed, and the faster the squats the less ring dips are needed. Long rest periods are your enemy on this WOD, so be good to yourself and get it done.

Post total time.

So, essentially, your goal is 150 sit-ups, but every minute, on the minute, you have to roll over and do 5 push-ups. If it takes you awhile to do sit-ups (like me!!), you'll end up doing even more push-ups!! Once you get to 150, you rest for 3 minutes in preparation for the second part of the workout. This is when you begin 150 squats, and on the minute, every minute, you stop and do 5 ring dips! I modified my goal to 100 sit-ups/squats. Actually, he told me I could modify. At first, I was like, "NO, I CAN DO 150" in my head for about a millisecond, but I was on about sit-up number 75, and quickly agreed with him! ha.

The entire thing took me 14:55! Pretty certain that I will be cursing my mid-section by tomorrow morning...

This is the kind of photo you take after doing crossfit: completely blurry.

----

Mirza is going on Monday after work to his first on-ramp/baseline workout!!! I could not be happier. I am constantly trying to get him to exercise or do anything, but he just doesn't. Not that he doesn't want to, but he always has the same excuse as everyone else.

----

After crossfit, I spent 2 hours in one of the study rooms at the library. We have our first 50 question quiz in Advanced Patho on Tuesday. It's weird to be studying again after three and a half years of just working. I used to be a study-aholic!

----

I am currently stressed out about wedding planning, or should I say, lack thereof! I've booked the venue, hired the photographer, and...that's it! I did go wedding dress shopping once, but nothing felt right. On the 1st, I'll be going again. However, I am constantly thinking about all I need to do: call caterers, taste testings, music, flowers, centerpieces, decorations, save-the-dates, invitations etc. It's so overwhelming. I just want to go to the court-house and call it a day at times. Never mind the costs! Our wedding will be small, intimate; only 35 guests! But, it still costs money! Oh, and I have no idea what I'm doing. I've been to one wedding in my entire life...

But I am sure all of the work that goes into the one day will be worth it when we've finally tied the knot.

On-Ramp Class #2 #crossfit

2012-01-18T11:20:00.001-05:00

The purpose of the on-ramp classes is to get me conditioned and ready to start in the group WODs. I'm not going to know everything, but they want me to have the basics down, as far as form and technique.

Again, I may not know the correct terms for everything we did, so I apologize...

This morning was my 2nd on-ramp class; one-on-one with the trainer.

I started with a "warm-up," which is pretty much a joke because the warm-ups leave me breathless, shaking, and wanting to lay down!!

He wants me to get used to coming in and looking at the board, doing the warm-up first.

I did a 500 meter row, and then honestly, I can't remember when the warm-up ended and the class began since this was on-ramp and not your traditional class, so I will just recap what we did. Seriously, the warm-up is rough at times.

He told me the whole point in these exercises was to get me used to everything, but especially to warm-up my hips and back in preparation for the power cleans.

After the row, I did 10 sampsons, which is pretty much a walking, stretch lunge. Afterwards, we worked on the jump rope! I don't remember the last time I jumped rope. I was not one of those girls at recess who did this, I can tell you that. He showed me double unders, which is when you get the rope under your feet twice during one jump, but today I focused on my forms with singles. I did approximately 150. Tiring!

Following this, we worked on the med ball cleans. Power cleans is what we were working towards today since I had a rough time with those and he wants me to get them done the best I can. The real WOD looked INSANE:

50 burpees
10 hang clean and jerks 45/35
40 burpees
20 hang clean and jerks
30 burpees
30 hang clean and jerks
20 burpees
40 hang clean and jerks
10 burpees
50 hang clean and jerks

For time.

No. I did not do that today! I don't even know what a hang clean is yet?

Okay, so med ball cleans: essentially, you're holding the med ball (10lb for me), squatting like in a deadlift and coming up into a clean with the ball, as if it's the bar! We did quite a few of these.

Then we did med ball wall shots. ugh, those kill me. You're squatting with the ball, and then jumping up and throwing it to a 10 foot target.

source

He then took me through the basics of a tabata work out. Usually, you would do 8 rounds of this interval training. For instance, the med ball wall shot: 20 seconds of as many as you can do, but probably at around 85% of what you could do. Rest 10 seconds, repeat. Trying to continue with the same reps you did the first time. Repeat times EIGHT.

Eight! ha!
We did four today, just to get the idea.
4 rounds of the med ball wall shot. I think I did about 8 each round.

We then worked on box jumps!! The idea is to really power through it and get the hips into it. We did 4 rounds of these. I cannot remember the height of the box, but it was rough!! But totally a fun challenge.

Then it was time for the kettlebell! He really wanted to make sure I was putting the action into popping my hips. It's more hips than anything!! We did 4 rounds with 20 kettle ball swings with the 16 lb (?).

source: google images

Now is when the idea of popping your hips from the kettlebell swings really resonated with me: during power cleans!

Last week, he introduced cleans to me, and I totally sucked.

In fact, the other day while sweeping, I even practiced with the broom! Crossfit is infiltrating my mind and everyday activities now! I still need tons more practice, but he say my body knows what to do, it's really just my brain getting in the way by over thinking it all!

I don't remember how many we did because we did it quite a few times, going over form, what I was doing wrong, etc. At the end, I did a 4 round tabata with the power cleans. I only did about 5 reps each time, with 55 lbs.

Here is a basic you-tube video of a power clean.

I started to get the hang of it. I even have the beginning of a blister on one hand!! yikes.

I posted on Facebook this morning about how much I am loving crossfit. This may not sound all that significant, but deadlifting 85lbs and power cleaning 55 lbs is a whole different world for me!! Seeing as I came from my girly Shapes gym where all we ever do in group fitness was lift dinky little 10 pounders, and at most...15 lb bar for deadliest.

I just know that someday, I am going to lift more than my body weight and then some, especially once I get the form and technique down.

I don't go back until Tuesday and this makes me sad. He said after two more on-ramp classes, I will be good to go. And starting next month, I am pretty sure I'll be upping my frequency to 3 times per week because 2 is just not cutting it!

First On-Ramp Class #crossfit

2012-01-16T11:07:00.003-05:00

(I am mostly doing these posts to document my own experiences with crossfit, so I can go back and see how I've progressed.)

Saturday was an open-class, but today was my scheduled On-Ramp class. These classes are designed to help newbies become accustomed to the different moves in crossfit classes. They are small, or one-on-one, like mine was today.

This is what we did:
You'll have to excuse me because I do not know the names of all these exercises.

For a warm-up, I started with a 400 meter row, keeping the numbers on the screen at or below 2:20 (not sure what this is called).

Afterwards, I did two rounds of 10 walking lunges with my arms stretched high above my head, followed by 10 jumping squats.

Next, we worked with the rope. I believe it was called tsunami-something.
Essentially, they have this long, heavy rope that is folded in half. I am at the open side with the two pieces of rope in each hand, while the trainer is position on the other side with the curved piece of the rope.

This is just a random photo on google images, but it looks similar to this

I would then take each rope in my hands and while squatting down, slam the rope into the ground, really lifting it up and down and then slamming. We did this for 30 seconds, then rest 30 seconds. Following this, same idea, but one arm at a time as fast as possible. 30 seconds on, rest 30 seconds. Then it was jumping jacks with the rope in each arm. So difficult for me! And finally, I don't remember the name at all, but essentially, grabbing the rope close together and then moving from side to side, kind of like a boxer would to duck. I know these explanations are terrible, but all I can say is that they were rough!

I swear that sometimes just the warm-up in crossfit is enough exercise for my entire day!

After warming up (I was still out of breath), he took me through the proper way to do a deadlift, which is different than how we learned in the gym group-exercise classes because of the smaller weights used there. We really focused on getting our butt down and chest up, facing the wall. I used 85 lbs and we did quite a few, maybe a couple rounds of 10 once I got the form correct. I know it sounds dumb since obviously I lift heavy objects all the time (hello, pulling people up in bed, 300+ pounds, rolling, etc<--life of an ICU nurse), but to lift 85 lbs seemed like a huge accomplishment for me since at the gym, we only ever used under 20 lb hand weights! Oh, and I now understand the reason why I always see pictures of crossfitters wearing super long, high socks..

photo source

Because when you're really starting to lift the heavier weights, you're going to be as close to your shins as possible to really get it up there!

Next were "cleans," which I really sucked at. I need lots of practice. He said he would be beating me into submission on Wednesday by adding more and more weights to really get me to understand the proper way! ha!

At this point, the 9am class was coming in the door, so he made me do a quick, modified version of their WOD.
The WOD was this:

400 meter run
10 burpee pull-ups
12 thrusters 95/65lbs.
15 overhead plate lunges 45/35 lbs. plates
rest one minute between rounds.

Instructions for the WOD.

If you do not possess an unassisted pull up it will be hard to complete a burpee pull up. The substitution for this will be 5 burpees and 5 pull ups. For those of you that are able to do this exercise Rx, you must pick a bar height that you must have to jump at least 8 to 12 inches to reach the bar. For the lunges you must tap the trailing knee to the ground for the lunge step to count unless this is part of the scale down. At the end of each round it is up to each athlete to monitor the timer to take exactly one minute rest period, no more and definately no less. At the end of the WOD you will subtract the two minutes of rest from total time.

---

Being short on time, he had me do 400 meter run, 10 burpees, and 15 overhead plate lunges with a 25lb plate x 2. It took me 11:11!

I am seriously loving crossfit.
My favorite part of crossfit thus far is the functionality of all movements. The trainer says you will never see us doing bicep curls or triceps because they are simply non-functional in terms of everyday life. When will you need to do those in everyday life? You won't. You'll be doing movements that are basic motor patterns; they aren't single joint, but multi-joint because that is how the human body moves in real life. For instance, we will carry awkwardly shaped, and heavy objects...it just makes more sense. You carry it however you can because your body was made to do all of these awesome, crazy movements. We aren't made to just stand in one spot and move our arm up and down consecutively...what function does that serve?

My first real WOD

2012-01-15T20:02:00.001-05:00

You can read about my baseline workout here.

This Saturday, I was super excited to go to crossfit since they told me to bring along Mirza.
After practically dragging him out of the bed in the early morning, we made it.

Here was my first official WOD (workout of the day):

One Round for time of:

20 burpees
325 m. med ball carry (once around the building)
30 wall ball shots (10 ft. target)
325m. med ball carry
40 supine med ball get ups.
325 m. med ball carry
50 med ball sit ups.
325m med ball carry

Special rules: You cannot set your med ball down while in the med ball carry. To do so will cost you 5 BURPEES on the spot. If you throw your med ball down while in the carry, that will cost you 20 burpees on the spot. So unless you just love doing burpees, keep the med balls off the concrete.

Loved, loved, loved it.

It was in the 50's, perfect weather. The class was small, and even though it was difficult, I had a smile on my face probably the whole time. Mirza was kind of cursing me a bit, but only because it's been awhile since he's worked out and this was way out of his activity level.

They took some pictures of us, as well!

Here I am running around the building with my med ball (in the green).

Getting up from the "get-ups," which is basically holding the med ball and laying down on the ground, and getting up...

On the ground! I liked these because they allowed me to lay down, haha!

Burpees at the beginning!

More get-ups!

On my way out for another run around the building!

Sit-ups!!

Abs are dead.

Can't wait until tomorrow.

My first Crossfit experience

2012-01-11T19:56:00.000-05:00

I'm going to preface this post with a brief history of my fitness regime.

Lately, I've been so bored, tired, and sick of my workouts. Nothing is satisfying. I lose interest so quickly. I don't like being the type of person that doesn't stick to one thing, who gives up, etc., but then again, maybe that's good because I'm experiencing a variety of workouts? But I don't want to be a flake! It seems like everyone in the blog world has their "thing." The runners, the yogi's, the triathletes, the body builders, fitness competitors. I can't seem to find my niche. Not that one needs to have one necessarily.
I know one thing: I like a hard work out, and I prefer strength training over cardio.

I began working out in the summer of 2007 when Mirza went away to Bosnia for a month and I was stuck alone, in nursing school. I joined my local Shapes gym (all-woman gym) and quickly fell in love with group exercises classes. My favorite were weight training and kickboxing. I saw a lot of results with kickboxing. I went every Friday evening. It was a nice routine. After I graduated, I continued with my Shapes membership in St. Pete, but I didn't go to the group classes as often. I got bored with them. I knew the routines too much, or the instructors weren't as good, the time frame sucked, etc. At one point, on a Sunday afternoon, my car window was smashed and items stolen. I pretty much wanted nothing to do with the gym after that.

I decided to maybe try triathlons! It was also a goal I had in the back of my mind. I mean, doing a triathlon just sounds cool, you know? I think it should be on everyone's life goal to do a mini or sprint triathlon. I hated to run, but I did it, anyway. I did couch to 5k! I took swimming lessons! I did/do love my bike, but sometimes the process of getting my bike in the car makes me not even want to go out at all. I did my two sprint triathlons in Summer of 2010, and then stopped. During all of this, I always did yoga, which I loved. My passion grew and I decided to join Yoga Teacher Training at my local studio. I began paying the hefty price in August 2010 for a January 15, 2011 start.

Of course, my mother died January 5th, so I honestly did not give my all during YTT. It's a shame because I do love yoga, and I spent a lot of money on the training, but my head was not in it. How could it be, though, really? It's been one year, and I still have 10 classes to finish to earn my teacher training certification. Luckily, the studio is awesome and gives you one year from the last day of classes to finish! I don't know if I will ever teach yoga. I did not set out to teach, but to just gain further understanding of yoga and for the experience. It was a great experience and I don't regret it for one minute.

After the past month's failed attempt at half marathon training...ok, so "failed attempt" is kind of the wrong term. I did not fail. I flat-out quit. I know that I have it in me to run 13.1 miles, but I just completely don't love running. I cannot make myself do something that I don't love! After my mom died, this premise stuck with me so much: life is too short to do anything you don't want to. And I don't want to run (right now, anyway), so I'm not. Of course, I'm an idiot and will lose out on my $60 paid for the half marathon, but that's okay.

So, that brings me to today. I've been looking for something to do. Something to get me into shape and have a good time. Something to make me stronger! I miss feeling strong. When I did kickboxing, I felt super strong, and I looked strong, too. Not anymore.

I started to look into krav maga, martial arts classes, kickboxing. Anything! Lately, all I hear about is CROSSFIT.

Today, I gave it a try.

And I loved it!

I like that you're in a place that has no mirrors, nothing pretty, no fancy machines, no televisions: just down and dirty exercise! I love the premise of exercising like you did as a child: jumping on boxes, climbing ropes, good ol' fashion push-ups, pull-ups, etc.

But you're really kicking your own ass.

Crossfit can be expensive; as much as $150/month for unlimited access. However, the "box" near me has a good deal. $85 for 2 days per week. No up front fees, no contracts. I like it!

I began with a "baseline workout."
This included:
500m row (pretty much the only machine you'll find)
40 squats
30 sit-ups
20 push-ups
10 pull-ups

All for time: do these in the shortest time possible.

I was nervous and scared. I don't even remember the last time I did a sit-up; only crunches. And pull-ups? HA, that's a joke.

The two trainers that I met were great. They gave me a tour of the facility, which is basically a storage unit converted into the crossfit gym. They went through the exercises with me for proper form. And then we were off...or I was!

Took this from their website

Man, oh, man. I am out of shape. The sit-ups about killed me. The pull-ups, even with a green assist band were terrible. I was pooped. It took me 11 minutes 43 seconds.

I was soaked, red-faced, out of breath.
I may be thin, but I want to be STRONG.
A workout that is under 15 minutes and takes this much out of you? WORTH IT.

I am definitely going back.

One year ago today...

2012-01-05T12:15:00.000-05:00

My mother lost her life.
Please read this page in honor of my mother.

Appreciation.

2012-01-02T20:39:00.001-05:00

The other day at work, I took care of a patient who had suffered a stroke a few weeks ago and was aphasic, and hadn't yet uttered a word since the incident.

His background was from an Eastern European country; his family were very cute and appreciative.

When I began my assessment that morning, I noticed the patient say a few incomprehensible words, which I just attributed to a language barrier, and went on my merry way.

A little while later, I walked into the room, and his wife was at the bedside. Suddenly, he started to say the same unintelligible words. I thought nothing of it until his wife's face completely beamed with pure joy and through broken English and tears, "aaaaahhhhoooh myyyyy...this is the first time he spoke!!!!!! aaaah." She held his hand crying happy tears.

I hadn't realized this was new all this morning!!

The funniest part is that when the rest of the family arrived, the wife told them the reason he spoke was because of me!! She said I was so beautiful and sweet that he had to speak! That his face would light up when I entered (hardly, trust me). She acted like I did something special to get him to speak. It was hilarious.

A few hours later, she even gave me a gift!! The cutest "Thank you card" and a magnet cross.

So funny and cute.

I don't write much about work anymore, so I hope someone enjoyed this!

ps: I don't remember if I posted this, but I need to brag...

Four. Point.OH.

With a grading scale of 93-100%. Gotta love the College of Nursing.
Not sure I'll be seeing many more of these as I get into the heavier science-based classes, so I am soaking it in!
Semester 2 begins in one week!

My hope for 2012.

2012-01-01T10:11:00.000-05:00

This isn't going to be a post about resolutions or a recap of 2011.

My only hope for 2012 is that it's an uneventful year.

I will work, go to school, plan my wedding, get married to my fiancé, and go on a nice honeymoon.

Nothing more, nothing less.

I'd like to do less complaining, cursing, and see the world happier and peaceful.

I want to be more loving, understanding, and less judgmental and nagging.

I'll eat healthier, move my body more, but take time to indulge with mindless moments of pure laziness.

I'll be stronger as a result of 2011...in all aspects.

This is exactly how I feel about 2011...

2011-12-31T09:29:00.002-05:00

So long 2011...hello, 2012!

Why I want to quit running...

2011-12-29T10:26:00.002-05:00

Ok, I don't even have a real reason. I just don't want to do it anymore.

I'm a quitter.

Not really, though. I rarely quit things in life because I have a huge conscience and I just feel terribly guilty.

But my motivation for running has completely gone out the door.

I feel like such a loser, but I am going to focus on the positive.

I ran 5 miles! I never thought I that I could do it, but I did. That's a huge accomplishment for me. The thing is, I am not in love with running and I never have been, however, I do love the feeling of setting out with a goal in mind and then accomplishing it. That is what running has been for me.

But lately, I feel like the idea of training for anything is just too much for me to handle. I am way too overwhelmed. Perhaps it's the pressure of a training plan, which usually keeps me in check. Or the thought of a half marathon at the end. I don't want to say it feels daunting because I do know that I CAN DO IT. That isn't the point.

It's a matter of wanting to do it, and only doing things in life that you want to be doing.

I don't know. I just don't know. I think I need to focus on just overall health and wellness. In addition, semester 2 starts soon and I am going to be swamped with work full time, and school part-time.

I feel almost sorry if I am letting people down, but I don't even feel like I am letting myself down because I feel like I know what's right for me at this time.

I feel like I have missed too many runs at this point to adequately be ready to run 13.1 miles. And if I am going to run 13.1 miles, I want to be trained the right way.

Perhaps I will keep running, but just for myself, not for a training plan. I feel like I cannot compete with all of these running blogs, and they put too much pressure on me. I know that running is just supposed to be about yourself and your own accomplishments, but the pressure for me is just overwhelming.

ugh.

Quitter.

I survived Christmas 2011

2011-12-26T11:52:00.000-05:00

Christmas is over and I survived!

I was incredibly stressed about it. I threatened to take down the Christmas tree and to cancel Christmas altogether, but Mirza wouldn't let me. hmph.

I worked on Christmas Eve Day and then my brother came over afterwards. We ate pulled pork sandwiches, watched a movie, and generally just hung out on the couch. Mirza also entertained us with his guitar playing.

We had planned to wait until the morning to open our gifts, but Mirza was too eager for me to see what he got me!!

A new set of pots and pans!!

These are so needed. I've been using a crappy $50 set that I bought from Walmart since graduating college.

He also bought me beautiful cookbooks that I've been eyeing.

We stayed up until 2 am. I don't know how since I worked 12 hours that day!

Christmas Day we hung out with his mom for a bit, and then at 4pm, we saw, "We Bought a Zoo."
LOVED it. So much. I would even see it again. I think it's going to become one of those movies that eventually comes on TV and you end up watching over and over.
It was just nice.

That's all for now.

Recreating Christmas Magic

2011-12-17T22:37:00.000-05:00

Christmas traditions.

Growing up, Christmas eve involved family get-togethers with lots of food, laughter, and love. My mom would do my hair in pretty curls; sometimes with hot curlers, or sometimes with pink overnight curlers. I remember one time getting all prettied up with my curls, red velvet dress with white stockings and black shiny shoes, and my mom let me put on red lip stick. I said, "Everyone is going to want to kiss me under the mistletoe tonight!" I wondered why my mother laughed herself silly and repeated this to family members throughout the night. I was serious! I looked damn good!

When we lived up north, we usually went over my Aunt Bevie's home, and as the night progressed, we'd all have to rush home quick to get into our pj's and tucked into bed before Santa arrived. Inevitably, we'd see Rudolph's red nose in the night sky. I would have so much anxiety that Santa would be at our home when we got there!

I still remember to this day, and I would swear to it at the age of 26: Coming out of my uncle's house in the cold, dark Christmas Eve as everyone pointed up to the sky, and seeing clear-as-day, the bottom and side of Santa's sleigh. It was outlined in gold, and the sleigh was green with large, gold circles. It happened.

And each Christmas eve, we were allowed to open ONE present. We all knew what it would be. Did you have this tradition, too? Nice pj's, of course! So you'd go to bed in brand new ones and then wake up in nice pj's for the morning photos! Sometimes, if we were good, we were allowed to open a second present, but this was rare.

This picture sucks, but isn't my mom pretty?

We also had the tradition of listening to a cassette tape of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas that accompanied a beautiful pop-up book.

I always remember that magical feeling in the air on Christmas Eve. This feeling is what I miss most about Christmas and cannot wait to share with my own children one day.

Just knowing that Santa was working his way through the night sky on his sleigh, and while I slept, he would be eating our church windows and leaving us wonderful gifts (In hindsight, this was also kind of terrifying, ha!). Sometimes Santa would leave us handwritten notes to read in the morning. He'd remark how the cats reacted to his arrival and thank us for the delicious treats. Santa was a gentleman. A few years, we would see Santa's sleigh marks in the snow out back! My mother and father always heard the reindeer on the roof. If it happened to be snowy night where the reindeer couldn't see, Santa would arrive via helicopter! Of course, my mom and dad told me all about it.

Each year, I inevitably would ask, "But mom, we don't have a chimney, how will Santa get in?" Magic, she would say. Oh, right. No question. Duh, magic!

On Christmas morning, the three of us would be up before dawn much to the chagrin of our parents. To hold us over, Santa was nice enough to leave our stockings outside our bedroom doors. I told you, Santa is a thoughtful guy.

We knew there were strict rules about entering the living room until everyone was awake and the adults had their coffee in hand.

Once the doors opened to the living room, it was beautiful. Tons of shiny presents in different wrapped paper that were not there before. All signed, "From: Santa."

I struggle now with the notion of creating new Christmas traditions with my mom gone. Granted, the last few years were not the greatest holidays, but they existed as traditions, nonetheless.

Mirza did not celebrate Christmas growing up in Bosnia. He never knew the magic of believing in Santa. He just doesn't get it. I know when we have children in the very near future, we can bring this magic back into our lives, but for now? I'm lost.

I'm eternally grateful to my mother for creating wonderful traditions, and allowing me to genuinely believe in Santa Claus and the magic that Christmas would bring into my life.

I know that my Christmas as a child-less adult will never be as magical as they once were, but I do wish we could create some new traditions until that time comes.

Share with me your traditions and offer some tips on creating new ones!

Cleanin' up!

2011-12-16T15:22:00.002-05:00

Do you ever see pictures in magazines or on blogs with beautiful homes and apartments that just seem so perfectly clean and organized all the time? And you feel like a slob or failure for not being able to keep your place as impeccably clean?
Well, sometimes, I do!
I'm not perfect. I LIVE in my apartment. WE live in our apartment. We work, cook, make a mess, etc. We also clean, but it doesn't stay clean for long or forever because of the reasons I just listed.

Today, I will take you on a tour of our incredibly messy apartment as I go through and clean it. Why? To show the world how normal, every-day-people live.

We'll start with the bedroom...

Before:
You may notice we have pretty much nothing on the walls. I'm working on it!!

After:

I admit. Our bedroom is incredibly boring. We keep our bureau's in the closets, so it looks bare. That corner with the table? I've had plans for almost a year to turn it into a comfy chair with a light for reading. Still hasn't happened...

I definitely think we need a few things to spruce up the bedroom. For one, art on the walls. I am thinking of getting a couple of framed prints of our engagement session, but would that be cheesy to hang in the bedroom?
In addition to the chair with light and bookcase for me, I would love a bed frame and headboard. I think it would just make it feel much more like a bedroom. Also, does anyone else agree that Mirza needs a nightstand and light? He said he doesn't, but for the symmetry alone...

Bathroom #1

Before:

After:

Dining area.

Before:

After:

Kitchen.

Before:

This actually wasn't as bad as it could have been. Our kitchen never stays clean. We use it too much! That's a good thing, right?

After:

Living Room:

Before:

After:

A few things: When the tree is gone, that's all blank, white space. I'd like to get a a book shelf or cupboard with glass doors for my mom's tea cups...something! I also hate that coffee table. It was hand-me down I've had since my first apartment. I'd like a more grown-up piece; something wood. Any suggestions?

Note: We do not own the TV. It comes with our apartment mounted to the wall. Pretty sweet, right?

Music room:

Before:

Also known as: WTF happened in here??

Oh.my...

After:

Ah, much better.

This room took me the longest. I didn't photograph the closet, but it's much more organized now. In addition, Mirza's desk? That man doesn't throw away anything. We're the complete opposite. I throw out everything. Nothing is safe.

Bathroom #2

Before:

Yikes!!

After:

I didn't make it to the laundry room or porch. They will have to wait until next time.

So, there you have it. Embarrassing photos of my messy apartment.

I dream of one day owning a beautiful home with a big kitchen full of windows, nice lighting, a great island, and tons of counter space where my vitamix can sit out at all times.

For now, I am stuck in my 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment.

I'd love ideas on making a smaller space more functional without adding tons of furniture. I hate when every wall has a piece of furniture up against it!

Week 3 Half Marathon Training Recap

2011-12-10T20:38:00.000-05:00

Week 1 recap
Week 2 recap

Also known as: the week where I stopped believing in myself.

My runs through the week were absolutely terrible.

It was a combination of starting too late in the morning with warm (December in Florida) temperatures, stress, dehydration, and pain. I also think I screwed myself by switching Monday's run to Tuesday, making me run two days in a row.
STICK.TO.THE.PLAN.

The plan was 3.5 miles, 3.5 miles, and then my longest run ever of 5 miles.

I think the 1/2 mile thing is throwing me off.

I wouldn't even call what I did during the week, "running."

Check it.

Tuesday:
3.5 miles, average pace 13:07. WTF? It was more like walking.

Wednesday:
My right ankle was hurting, there was NO WIND, the heat was stifling; so humid.
I physically and mentally gave up from the beginning.
I only made it 2.5 miles. I seriously was so disappointed in myself.

Thursday and Friday were work days.
Thursday, I was at work for about an hour and a half, and seriously had a mental breakdown from stress and I left. I can't even get into how incredibly guilty I felt for leaving, but I could not function at work. ugh. I came home and made hot cocoa with tiny marshmallows and drank it in a santa cup. It was the coldest day yet of the season and the cats were snuggled with me on the couch while I finished the entire Season 1 of Parenthood and began season 2. Pretty much a ball of nerves and tears the entire day.

That's Abbey asleep on my lap.

I had incredibly low expectations for this morning's 5 miler. After the last runs, I felt so defeated, like I physically would not even be able to finish 5 miles. I thought that maybe I should just quit now because obviously I am not meant to do this. But I laced up my sneakers anyway for good measure in hopes that I would feel differently once I got out there.

Immediately, I knew that 5 miles would be quite the distance of me, so I decided to not have too high of expectations with my time. I wasn't sure I would even be able to make it; I thought I might quit halfway through!!

I decided to run .25 miles, and walk .10 the entire time.

I have to say, this method worked so well. When I was running, I was going WAAYY faster than I normally do--9:50-10:00m/m. It was glorious!!

Here's the Garmin breakdown:

Mile 1: 11:27

Mile 2: 12:21

Mile 3: 12:22

Mile 4: 12:10

Mile 5: 11:57

I finished in 1 hour, and 20 seconds...an average pace of 12:04. That is with walking breaks!

This was my favorite run to date. The weather was p.e.r.f.e.c.t.; overcast, NO SUN, and cool in the low 60's. I believe this helped me tremendously.

In addition, I ran my regular trail route, but took detours through a park around a lake, and then through the KAO campgrounds. The change in scenery definitely boosted my enthusiasm.

I felt so proud of myself. I almost gave up on running, but now I am back. From now on, I will be incorporating this run-walk interval because I am way more efficient and faster.

uuummmm, ignore my dirty nail.

Church Windows

2011-12-08T14:50:00.000-05:00

(Thank you for the kind words on my last entry. I almost feel guilty and embarrassed laying it all out like that. I don't want pity or for people to feel sorry for me. I just wanted to get the story out! Written down, yes, it looks terrible, but I honestly felt like I lived a relatively nice childhood...I guess that might sound weird from story? I already have part II typed out, but not sure how or when I will post it. Oh well...let's talk Christmas dessert, shall we?).

Remember when you were little and they allowed you to bring treats into school for the holidays?

Christmas, circa 1986.

And then they changed all the rules and we were forced to eat packaged crap because the world is no longer safe....

Well, before they did change the rules and the world became corrupt, the one Christmas treat that my Mom would make for us to bring in were Church Windows.

These are chocolate marshmallow treats...kind of a cookie-candy combination. They are called Church windows because once finished, they look like the stained glass of a church.

Here's the recipe:

*Ingredients*

-One 12 oz package semisweet chocolate chips

-1/2 cup or 1 stick of butter

-5 cups of mini colored marshmallows

-shredded coconut

Begin with a double boiler or a metal bowl over a simmering pot of water.

Pour in your chocolate and stir occasionally until melted.

Once melted, go ahead and add in an entire stick of butter. Hey, I didn't say this was a healthy dessert. It should probably be unsalted, but I only had salted, and they turned out delicious, so I'm going to say it doesn't matter.

Stir it up!
Remove from heat.
Let it sit for a couple of minutes to cool off...

Go ahead and rip off about an 18 inch long piece of tin foil...

Spread coconut shreds in the middle of the foil, kind of in the shape of a log. Approximately 1/2 cup or more.

Next: add your marshmallows to the chocolate and mix thoroughly until they're all covered in chocolately-goodness.

Now you're going to place half of the marshmallow-chocolate mixture onto the coconut and shape it into a log...about a foot long and 2 inches wide.

Now add more coconut shreds on top...

Wrap the log and fold in the ends tightly.

Store it in the refrigerator. It's best if it sits overnight, but 2-3 hours will do.

Repeat all of the steps for the second half of the mixture...

So, you'll have two logs!

If you can resist licking the bowl before washing, then you're a better woman than I am, for sure...

After it's chilled in the fridge, carefully unwrap the tin foil...

And cut the log into approximately 1 inch thick slices...

They store well in an air-tight container in the refrigerator.

Enjoy!

And for those curious, my "church windows" would be from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Pastafarian:)

What's your favorite childhood holiday treat?

True Story

2011-12-06T13:34:00.001-05:00

I need to get this story off my chest.

Trust me, the story is fragmented and won't be the full story, and I am positive that I have the timeline completely screwed up, and even some of the facts wrong, but it's what I have for now.

This post will be full of grammatical errors, so be prepared. I am trying to get it out quickly...

And I am sure that my mother would kill me if she knew I were writing out this story from my own perspective. She would have seen things a lot differently than what I lived. But I have to do it!

This year has been so full of turmoil.

In a month from now, it will be ONE YEAR since my mother died.

I can't believe it.

No one has asked, but here's the story...

My mother was a great woman. She was full of laughter, wit, and love. She made us dinner every night and always made sure we were safe in one way or another.

However, she lost her mother when she was young, and I think it totally screwed her up.

She loved to have a good time. When she was younger, I'd say she was probably a partier. She had my sister when she was 18 with a man who she never married--I think he robbed a bank once? She then somehow ended up with a different man for a few years that she did marry. But it did not last long. He was in a wheelchair--wait, maybe he was the one who was shot from robbing a bank? See? The stories are foggy for me.

At some point, she met my father: Brian K. Matchett
A vietnam veteran.
Long story short, he was screwed up from the war. At one point, he was involved in a murder trial. He was later acquitted to a lesser crime of manslaughter. You can read his story here.
That was in 1981. My mother had to sit through a murder trial, pregnant with my brother in 1979.
My father served some time, and was released. My mother has told me the true story of what she was told happen that night, but I won't be sharing that here.
I was born in 1985.

Life apparently was good for a few years. My father was working for the VA. My mother worked various jobs at the hospital: secretary, phlebotomist, etc. It was me, my sister, and brother living in a nice, beautiful house in the suburbs of Massachusetts.
Life seemed great to me! We were doing well financially.

And then my father began stealing money from the VA. Don't ask me in what ways or how because I don't know. My father was a smart man--educated! However, he had no common sense. And he believed his own lies. Like, for real.
He went to prison for this. I do not remember for how long. I was too young to recall, but I do remember one time when my brother packed up all of our stuff, threw them out the window, and we escaped. So, that cannot be good?

My Father was in and out of my life at various times. We moved to Florida in 1993. I just turned 9. My sister was in college. My brother was a freshman in high school.

It was around this age when I found out once that my mom smoked pot! I was so upset when my brother told me.
I knew she loved to drink, but not smoke! I didn't even know it was marijuana--I thought it was cigarettes. Anyway, this doesn't even matter now, but I remember looking through the window and seeing my mother, aunt, and friends smoking...and being very sad.

My mother met my future step father, Jerry, in 1994. You see, my mom's sister had been in a relationship with his brother for years and years, so they brought them together.

Jerry...oh, Jerry. He was a bit younger than my mother--7 years? He was a roofer. He smoked a lot of pot. But he worked and made a living.

Their relationship was intense. They argued all of the time. Deep down, Jerry was a nice guy--he loved us like his own. He took care of my mom--paid the bills, cooked meals, etc. But he was also a grouch!! He always came home from work pissed off, and my mother would antagonize him constantly. He always threw things (like the phone and remote), broke shit in the house. It was annoying, but commonplace.
There was always drama! Numerous DUIs, stints in jail, etc.

My mother had a hard time keeping a job. She always worked different secretarial jobs, but she would quit. She HATED TO WORK.
Her alcoholism got much worse over the years.

In 1999, mom and Jerry got married. I was 14.

During this time, I saw my father a few times. He was now living in New Hampshire and remarried. He called himself "Doctor," and told people he had a PhD. I honestly think this is a lie, but that's okay.

I got along well with my mother. She trusted me. We rarely fought or had those strange teenage angts years. She was reasonable, but still strict. I respected it, and she respected me.

You have to understand, at this point...I was the only one left in the house. My brother had a failed stint with the army, and was now working, while my sister lived her life in Massachusetts as a successful teacher.

But behind closed doors, life was not that good. My mother's drinking was out of control. I felt so alone. She thought that she was so slick by putting her beer in a tea cup every morning. I told her I knew what she was doing, and she was not smart. Eventually, she gave up pretending and began drinking immediately upon waking. She didnt even try to hide it. She would drink from sun up to sun down.
At one point, my mom and Jerry began a friendship with this younger couple who got them into pills.
I remember one day when she came into my room and asked if I had a tylenol for a headache. I completely lost it. I was probably 15 or 16. I screamed and cried and told her that she cannot take all these pills and drink at the same time. "Don't you want to be around when I get married and have kids?!!?" I was furious. She cried.
That was it.

They took pills on and off for years, and stopped for a short period of time.

During my first semester of nursing school (2006), everything got so out of control. It was October, and my mom said she had enough of Jerry. She sold her car, and managed to get my uncle to buy her a plane ticket to move to Massachusetts to live! She was incredibly selfish. She left the house in shambles. I scrambled to find homes for our cats. I hated her.

During her time up north, we tried to get her help. We were so close to getting all of her (6) brother's and sister's to agree she needed serious help. Rehab. I distinctively remember telling my Aunt, "If we don't do something, she is GOING TO DIE." My Aunt said, "NICOLE. You don't know that. Your mom is NOT going to die!!"
Really? She's not????

My mom was back to Florida by Christmas and living with Jerry in a trailer!
A trailer. Listen, I have nothing against trailer homes, but if you knew anything about my mother, she was full of pride, and would never imagine herself living in a trailer. But now? it was ok to her. This was a huge clue that she had gone off her rocker.

Life was complete SHIT. Everything was a facade. She was drinking so much. She never had a job or looked for one. Jerry gave up on that cause.

I graduated 2008.

January 5, 2009 my real father died. Apparently, he had pneumonia, a fib, etc. He died at home. I did not attend his funeral.

And then, Jerry fell about 4 stories off a roof and broke his back and shattered his foot! We weren't even sure if he'd ever walk again. After a long time in the trauma unit and then rehab, he eventually came home.

This is where the pills got out of control. They were taking very large amounts of pain pills: oxycodone. And my mother had her own prescription for xanax. MY BROTHER, TOO. Yep, my brother was doing all of this, as well.

Life was so sad. Eventually, Jerry won a $350,000 settlement from his injury and they bought a small home outright. My sister and I took bets on how quickly the money would go. She said 2 years, I believe. I said...1 year.

And I was right.

During this time, my brother moved in with them. They were taking pills, selling pills, and doing who knows what else!! I was sick. I hated visiting.
At one point, my mother was baker acted for taking too much xanax and threatening to kill herself.
Another time, after working 12 hours, I sat in the ER with her for a CT of the head after Jerry threw the granite coffee table at her head.
Another time, I received a phone call at 7 in the morning. It was my mother on two phones: one to me, and one to 911. She was talking gibberish. When I got there, they were driving her away in an ambulance. Jerry, too. they mentioned something about carbon monoxide poisoning, which immediately made me laugh. No, they are on drugs. they ran out of their pills and were completely insane. Jerry was talking gibberish for days in the hospital. Purple people eats and Harry Potter shit. He made no sense. He thought Mirza's name was Kurt...

These are just snippets of the drama that I dealt with on a day to day basis. Jail, hospital, unknown calls and feelings. Numerous times I swore I would cut off contact, but it was too hard. She was my mother. He was my step father. I LOVED MY MOM.

I KNEW THEY WOULD DIE.
I knew it.

And on January 5th (yes, two years to the date that my father died) around 9pm, after Mirza and I had just finished eating tacos, I saw the missed text messages from my brother:
"911, call me.." I immediately said to Mirza, "someone is dead..It's either my mom or Jerry. And I really hope it's Jerry."

It wasn't.
It was my mom.
Dead. At 54. OD on xanax and oxy.
In my brother's room. He tried CPR when he found her, but it was too late.

To be continued...

congrats if you made it this far.

Week 2 Half Marathon Training Recap

2011-12-03T11:53:00.000-05:00

Whoa, week 2 went so quickly!!!

I guess it's because I had to do my long run on Saturday since I work tomorrow.

I am pretty proud of this week.

You can check out my Week 1 recap here.

Week 2 is pretty much a repeat of week 1! 3 miles, 3 miles, 4 miles.

Tuesday, November 29th.
Plan: 3 miles.

Mile 1: 11:54
Mile 2: 12:04
Mile 3: 12:05

Total time: 36:04. My best time so far for the 3 miles during my training.

Wednesday and Thurs=12 hour shifts working.

Friday, December 2nd
Plan: 3 miles

At first, I told myself, "This can be an easy run since tomorrow you have to do your long run of 4 miles," but then I got out there and did:
Mile 1: 11:45
So, then I said to myself, "Hey, it'd be cool if you could run these 3 miles sub 12:00.
And then I got to lap 2...
Mile 2: 12:34
At this point, my goal was shot to hell, so I went back to my original plan of making it an easy run. I figured I would save my legs for the next day.
Mile 3: 13:07 (boo!)

Total time: 37:27

Saturday, December 3rd
Plan: 4 miles

Last week, this was my Personal Distance Record (PDR). I did it in 49:35. My goal was 50 minutes or under, and I was proud.

For today, I told myself 50 or under again!

Here are my stats:
Mile 1: 11:55
Mile 2: 12:13
Mile 3: 12:16
Mile 4:...wait for it...11:55!! BAM!

I am so incredibly proud of that last mile. Last week, I did it in 13:11.
Total time: 48:21 !

10 more weeks to go!

Week 1 Half Marathon Training Recap

2011-11-27T19:25:00.000-05:00

Before I recap, thank you everyone for the nice comments on the engagement photos! We are officially in love...with our photos! ha. I told the photographer that it's bordering on narcissism at this point because I am so obsessed with looking at them. It's just wonderful to finally have decent photos of ourselves as a couple, after nearly 9 years! Totally overdue.

And getting your hair and makeup professionally done is so worth it. Such a confidence boost. At least in my case, since I have no idea what I am doing in that department.

My hair held a curl for all about 1 hour. The hairdresser blew it out, then put it up bobby bins in loose curls for me to release before the shoot. We both knew it would be flat in no time, so we did our best!! And by "we," I of course mean..."she" because she really worked her magic.

Taken with Mirza's iPhone...

And after the shoot:

Straight again!
------

Anyway, this is supposed to be a recap of Week 1 of my Half marathon training!!!

On Wednesday and Friday, I ran 3 miles. I was proud because my finish time for Friday was 20 seconds faster than on Wednesday. Baby steps, people! Baby steps.

And today was my first official "long" run. 4 miles. This truly was a long run for me...the longest of my entire life. Each weekend will be a personal distance record for me.

I took it easy. I allowed myself walking breaks (small, short bursts), and kept my pace at 12:30. I finished in under 50 minutes, which was my goal. I know that it's slow, but I AM TRYING.
Trust me, I am definitely pushing myself mentally and physically. At times, my pace is anywhere from 8:50 (hauling ass for me) to 13:00 (at the end when the wind was coming straight at me on the bridge!).
I am absolutely covered in sweat when finished. I feel like death, but then immediately feel alive!!
I'm starting to love running. It just feel so great when you set out to accomplish a goal and then DO IT!

At first, I did not intend on posting my pace or breakdown of workouts because I am "slow," but then it occurred to me: someone needs to represent the slow runners!!! And be proud.

So, here we go:

Wednesday: 3 miles. Total time: 37:45
Mile 1: 11:21
Mile 2: 13:43
Mile 3: 12:39

Friday: 3 miles. Total time: 37:22
Mile 1: 12:14
Mile 2: 13:28 (ok, so I am sucking on mile 2's apparently!)
Mile 3: 11:39 (I saved it for the end, I guess!)

Sunday: 4 miles. Total time: 49:35 (This was tough. PDR for me).
Mile 1: 11:21 (same as Wednesday)
Mile 2: 12:06
Mile 3: 12:56
Mile 4: 13:11 (the wind was literally making it hard for me to breathe. So happy to see 4 miles on my Garmin!)

That's that!!
Slow runners, represent!

I know I have faster speeds in me. I just need to gain some stamina!

Before when I ran, I used to curse the entire way, and be extremely jealous of anyone who passed me on a bike. I still kind of am, but then I remember that I am working towards something greater, so I just keep my feet moving, and look forward...sweating, huffing, and puffing.

This is too good not to share...

2011-11-26T19:42:00.002-05:00

Click here:
A sneak peek of our ENGAGEMENT PHOTOS...

LOVE THEM!!!

Day one of 1/2 training

2011-11-23T19:52:00.002-05:00

Today began Day 1, Week 1 of 1/2 Marathon Training! ta-daa!
I ran 3 miles:)
Felt good!

And as promised, here is my training schedule, adapted to my own work schedule. I do long runs on either Saturday or Sunday, based on when I work that weekend.

It may not be how a "professional" or seasoned runner would make a schedule, but my goal is really to just finish the half marathon by actually running. Obviously, I know I could walk it, but that's not what this is about.

^{W=work. Will gauge how you feel on work days to do other exercises , running, or resting}

^#/^{c =}^run^{and cross train, as in weights or yoga.}

Rock-n-Roll Half Marathon Training Plan.

Week	Mon	Tues	Wed	Thurs	Fri	Sat	Sun
1 (21)	w	w	3	thanks	3	w	4
2 (28)	w	3	w	w	3/c	4	w
3 (5)	3.5	cross	3.5/c	w	w	5	w
4 (12)	3.5	w	w	3.5/c	cross	rest	5
5 (19)	rest/c	4	w	w	4/c	w	6
6 (26)	rest/c	4	w	4/c	w	5k? o 6	w
7 (2)	cross	4.5	w	4.5/c	w	rest	7
8 (9)	w	4.5	4.5/c	w	w	8 or 10k	w
9 (16)	5/c	rest	5/c	w	cross	w	8 or 10k
10 (23)	w	5/c	5/c	w	w	rest	9
11 (30)	w	5/c	rest	w	5	w	10
12 (6)	w	4	w	w+2	rest	rest	½ M :)

November 21 through February 12^th

Still undecided if I will be doing the Turkey Trot in the am.

Hmm, decisions.

Either way, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Where Do You Run?

2011-11-14T22:12:00.042-05:00

I've been getting in a lot of short runs to get my legs and lungs prepared for 1/2 marathon training.
But let's face it: all my runs are short, anyway!
That's okay now..I just remind myself of this during my 1-2 mile runs:

It's all about the experience

On Sunday, I'll be running a 5k, and the 21st begins my official 1/2 marathon training!

I devised my scheduled based off Hal Higdon's 12 week plan for the novice around my own work schedule. I will be posting it sometime this week for those interested!

Currently, I've been doing all of my runs on the Pinellas Trail, but I am getting itchy already to find a new running route.

For one, the trail isn't exactly the safest place for a woman to be alone, if you get my drift. And secondly, I know I will get extremely burnt out on running the same route over and over.

My main issue is that I can't just lace up my shoes and run out the front door for a run. I live in a gated apartment community, and while it's not a bad neighborhood, I live off extremely busy roads. Even with side walks, I do not feel safe running down the road. It is loud, dangerous, and people yell things out the car window while I run! I've walked to the store and flea market from my apartment before and it was hell. People stare at you, honk, etc. It does not make for a stress-free run. And seeing as how running does not come easy to me as it is, I definitely do not need the extra stress of getting run over or kidnapped!

With that, I am currently stuck with getting in my car and driving to a location for my runs.

Today, I went to a local park that has a 6 mile paved trail.
And I ran the entire thing!!!

ha!. Not. My furthest run is still a 5k. When I run 6 miles (not too far off from now!), you will know...because I will be screaming from joy!

This past week has still been pretty humid. I thought we were cooling off here in Florida, but the weather cannot make up her mind! I think the humidity was 93-100% during my run.
I know you can't tell, but the sweat is dripping here....

Gotta love sweat, but would love it a lot more if it weren't still in the 80's during November.

Tell me---where do you run?

217

2011-11-13T16:04:00.001-05:00

I officially begin my 1/2 marathon training on November 21st; the day after a 5k.

Since I've been running in my current shoes for quite awhile now, we took a ride over to Fit-2-Run to try on some new pairs.

I had my arch tested, ran on the treadmill, and tried on a few of the popular brands, but in the end, Asics still won my heart for comfort...

I've been running and exercising in Asics, and I also wear the same brand for my 12 hour shifts as a nurse, so I figured--why fix something that isn't broken?

I ended up with the new Asics GT-2170.

I went with a darker shoe than I normally go for; that also has bright wild colors. I figure 1/2 marathon training is out of my comfort zone, so I went with something different!

It was until I got home and took a better look at the shoes that I realized the numbers...2170...217...MY BIRTHDAY NUMBERS! That's a good sign in my book!

Abbey agrees.

Announcement!

2011-11-11T14:30:00.001-05:00

It's official!

I just signed up for my first ever HALF MARATHON!!

I will be running the St. Petersburg Rock-n-Roll Half Marathon on February 12th!

And I got $20 off to register today on 11/11/11!

Running absolutely does NOT come easy for me at all. I am slow and have little stamina. But I've always wanted "to be a runner," and it's one of those things in life I feel like I haven't concurred! Not that I ever will, but I need to give a fighting chance because I honestly feel great after I run!

I also feel like now is the perfect time to train since the weather is cooling off. The only other times I have run were during the hot, Florida summers. What was I thinking?
And what better place to run than in my own city?

Not to mention that I will be turning 27 years old five days after the race!!

Let's do this!