It sure took VW Group long enough to get this done, but finally there’s a smarter and better Bentley Continental with a new V8.

In terms of how well a Bentley two-door with a humungous and thirsty 567-horsepower twin-turbo 6.0-liter W12 engine can sell while green awareness grows….pretty well actually. Sales in the U.S. were up in 2011 by 31 percent and we were the n.1 Continental market worldwide. We should remain safely thus until maybe tomorrow on your calendar, as China storms past us to buy more of everything

Or it may stay neck and neck, now that the Continental GT and soft-top GTC get a second engine: the same twin-turbo 4.0-liter V8 with cylinder-on-demand as used in the latest Audi S6, S7, and S8, here tuned for 500 horsepower and 487 pound-feet of torque. One clear advantage is that these V8 cars can travel on average 40 percent farther than the same cars with the old W12, so drivers will have far fewer stops at gas stations and they’ll be polluting far less per mile. And maybe now bicycle advocates will stop spitting on Bentleys.

After a long and sporting drive on the well maintained roads of northern Spain’s affluent wine region, then a series of hot laps at the practically new Circuito de Navarra, I can easily say that this V8 Continental is exactly as the car should have come equipped from the start. Bentley still has a ways to go to get the GT and GTC exactly as I (and they) would like them to be, but this significant step over to eight strong cylinders is an inspired beginning.

For one thing, the V8 Contis now get a really satisfying voice throughout the rev range. From the two twin exhausts with a design that looks like two reposing 8s, the thunder and thrum is nearly constant, what with torque staying at the maximum 487 lb-ft from 1,700 to 5,000 rpm. Even prior to 1,700 revs, though, just pressing the throttle pedal starts the rumbling from beneath the chassis. The bi-turbo W12, due to its way of doing things technologically, just doesn’t provide this fantastic orchestra. The Continental is now appropriately more like a grownup Aston Martin V8 Vantage and remains much more capable than that Aston.

And, yes, I said that this Continental is 40 percent more efficient with fuel. Interestingly, the new engine is directly responsible for just 16 percent of this added efficiency with its fewer cylinders and consequently less weight. Then there’s direct injection, smaller higher-pressure turbochargers, and Cylinder on Demand – technologies that will finally be incorporated into the W12 only in 2014. The Continental GT V8 now uses an average of 18 mpg, while the GTC version reads 17 miles per delicious gallon of premium fuel. The CO2 emissions are down pretty convincingly on both cars as well.

Nearly all of this major improvement can happen only when the cars are driven very casually, obeying all traffic laws and speed limits – a major challenge for me when I have this much drama available to my right foot. The ZF eight-speed automatic transmission with torque converter that almost every luxury big car seems to be adopting these days is an excellent and strong gearbox for the normal everyday drive, even good for a slightly more sporting drive. It can hold higher revs on a lower gear for a certain amount of time when in the “S” sport setting or sequential “+/-“ manual position of the center console lever, and here is responsible for 6 percent of the fuel efficiency gains.

Out on the demanding 2.5-mile track of Navarra, however, the gearbox was giving me a few temper tantrums, to be honest. It had the uncanny ability of sucking most of the good fun out of each lap by upshifting automatically once the tachometer needle reached a few rpm short of the indicated 6,250 red zone. With full power arriving at 6,000 rpm, there was almost no time at all to enjoy it before the transmission decided it was time for the next gear up. Frankly, this is pretty shameful. In fact, at the Q&A we all had with Bentley bosses after the drive, even the Bentley Boys agreed with me and said that solutions are in place for a future Super Sports trim package that holds gears, or perhaps even a different gearbox in the future. I certainly hope so, even if just for the chance of taking a Bentley onto a track and being honestly blown away.

The cylinder deactivation technology that adds an additional 5 percent of the fuel efficiency for this 4.0-liter V8 is called Cylinder on Demand, just as on the Audi S cars in which it was launched at the end of 2011. During the many no-throttle moments of any drive while in the normal “D” setting for the transmission, cylinders 2-3-5-8 cease their valve-lift and combustion phases whenever the “no throttle load” time exceeds five seconds. Once there’s any downward throttle pedal angle change for acceleration, the special cam lobes shift back to engaging these four cylinders. I felt nothing at all and there is no special readout anywhere on the dashboard that lets me know how I’m doing in saving the planet. And this is perfect for such car buyers in my opinion, because research shows that they just want it to work and they don’t ever want to have to think about it. How owners will grow to notice it is in the fewer times they’ll need to go to the fuel station to fill the tank; the theoretical range for these V8 Contis is now 525 miles.

Dynamically, especially as shown on the demanding track, these Continentals are still heavy things. The 385 added pounds of the GTC V8 in particular were quite noticeable out on the Spanish country roads. I personally would not purchase the GTC over the hardtop GT simply because of the noticeable dynamic compromises. (If I had a nice house and garage in southern France or in Santa Barbara, well…) Either car is an improvement over their W12 originals this way, but more needs to be done somehow. Again, the Bentley Boys all nod in agreement to this point.

Nonetheless, the 55 lbs less weight at the nose of the car and freshened 40:60 torque split of the all-wheel drive are welcome touches that render the V8 Continentals more dynamically adept than the W12s. In fact, Bentley has decided to use the red Flying B logo for all of these V8 engine models, a sign that there are much better things to come that will make things less fat feeling. All together, I really enjoyed these twin-turbo V8 Bentleys and cannot wait for the next iteration of both. For now, acceleration to 60 mph for the GT V8 is 4.6 seconds, that for the GTC a respectable 4.7 seconds. Happily, top speed stays just over 185 mph for both, though the wind noise in the GTC should limit the soft-top car to 155 mph. But I am not the boss, of course.

What Bentley needs to do next with these cars is give them a more sophisticated dynamics package, such as used at distant VW Group relative Porsche with the Sport Chrono Plus technologies that really combine all the dynamic features into one interface instead of leaving everything separate all over the dashboard and console. That Porsche relation is also becoming less distant now that legendary former Porsche R&D boss Wolfgang Dürheimer now runs Bentley and new hire Rolf Frech now leads Bentley R&D, having been at Porsche prior to this where he originated…you guessed it…Sport Chrono Plus. Frech just looked at me after I shared my thoughts and said, “Don’t worry, Billy; you can be sure this is the way we are going in future.”

Bentley seems to think that the Continental GT and GTC engine split will be 50/50 between W12 and V8 twin turbo purchases. I say that’s wrong and that the split will quickly be seen as around 25:75 in clear favor of the better V8 powertrain and packaging.

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{Bentley Continental GT + GTC V8}

Price: $180,000; GTC – $200,000

Deliveries start: mid-April 2012 in U.S.

Motor: 4,000 cc, 4-valve

Power: 500 bhp @ 6,000 rpm

Torque: 487 lb-ft @ 1,700 – 5,000 rpm

Transmission: eight-speed ZF automatic w/shift levers on steering column

Fuel capacity: 23.8 gallons

MPG avg. city/hwy: 18 mpg; GTC – 17 mpg

Performance: 0-60 mph 4.6 seconds, v-max 188 mph; GTC – 4.7 sec., 187 mph

Length x width x height: 15’9” x 7’3” x 4’7”; GTC height – 1 mm less than GT

Wheelbase: 9’0”

Curb weight: 5,060 lbs; GTC – 5,445 lbs

Cargo space: 12.6 cu ft; GTC – 9.1 cu ft

[ Billy "Snap" MacGillicuty – Bentley Continental V8 words; David Shepherd – Bentley Continental V8 photos]

Prepare to have your feelings hurt about your favorite ‘Ring battles, kids, because most of them don’t mean a damn thing. The Cadillac CTS-V laps the Nordschleife in just 7 minutes and 59 seconds. Impressive, no doubt. However, the BMW M3 laps the same track in 8:05. I know, you’re going to all whine and moan all at once that I’m hating on the Caddy, but shut it, because it’s just not true. I’m not trying to dog anyone here, just give you a little insight and truth into the matter. My brother and I had this discussion/argument a few months ago, and once he researched what I’m about to share with you (his personal research only took about 10 minutes), he understood and agreed 100% with everything I said. This is typically not the case, so that’s why I know I’m right.

Now, racing drivers, weekend track guys, they’ll all tell you a lap time around the famous Nürburgring doesn’t count nor matter. Yet, I tend to disagree completely. Sure, there are other race tracks that matter more and can prove what a car and its driver can do: namely Road Atlanta, Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca, Paul Ricard High Tech Test Track circuit, as well as a few others around the world. While these tracks are special and great, it’s hard to compare anything to 12.9 miles of pure insanity. Make one mistake and your ass is in a small patch of grass before you slam into a wall at as much as 130+ mph. Just see if you can keep off the grass in Forza or Gran Turismo. Most won’t be able to… So to say that the ‘Ring has no relevancy to the performance, tuning, or understanding of a car’s abilities is just incorrect. Where a car with 1,000 hp may be amazing at one track, on the Nordschleife it could spell disaster for the brakes, suspension, tires, interior, whatever.

Let me just get right down to the point of why the actual lap times are skewed. As I said in the first paragraph, the Cadillac CTS-V went out on the Nürburgring and did a 7:59; quite a good time for a car weighing more than 4000 lbs and being a sedan. Now, Caddy lovers enjoy touting this as the end-all-be-all of ‘Ring lap times. Why? Because it’s faster than the E60 BMW M5 at 8:13 and the E92 M3 at 8:05. Here’s where they’re wrong to cry “win”. John Heinricy, a professional racing driver, as well as the father of the Cadillac V cars, went out and set that lap in a non-showroom stock car with a roll cage and the supercharger tuned specifically for the higher elevation of the Nürburgring, and the suspension was tuned especially for the hard corners. Is this wrong to do? Absolutely not. The roll cage will save a driver’s life on the ‘Ring, no doubt. The supercharger and suspension being tuned properly is perfectly fine, as far as I’m concerned, too. I’ve never been able to find out exactly which tires were used for the run, though I’d hope and suspect the factory offered Michelin PS2s were used.

But here’s where it gets rather muddled. The BMWs that have lap times posted at the Nürburgring aren’t from a factory driver, nor are they from any set of engineers. No, BMW don’t actually post any lap time whatsoever that they achieve around the track. Why? Because they typically prefer not get into a penis measuring contest on their home soil where they’ve engineered the chassis, suspension, engine, gearbox, steering, etc. on every BMW I can name off the top of my head; it’s a lot.

Then how is there a 8 minute and 5 second lap time listed for the current M3? Or an 8 minute and 13 second go-round for the last-gen M5? Horst von Saurma. Don’t know the name, do you? That’s because you’re most likely not well versed on these things. You see a lap time and say, “Ooooh! My car’s faster than yours… nanny-nanny-boo-boo!” like a small child. Mr. Saurma is the editor-in-chief of Sport Auto magazine, a German automotive publication, as well as a former professional racing driver. He is also a key Nürburgring driving expert, and has put pretty much any modern car you can think of around the famous track. But, noticeably, his times are always much slower than those by a factory team and driver. Why, you ask? Because Sport Auto and von Saurma use cars that are registered for the road. They don’t use any roll cages, special tires. They don’t tune the motor or the suspension. A showroom stock car, so to speak.

So there you have it, the truth that will set you free. A 7:59 from Cadillac would have been more like an 8:02 or 8:03 from Sport Auto. Making it just slightly faster than the M3. Even though it also has 142 more horsepower and 255 more lb-ft of torque.

My point here isn’t to hate on Cadillac, GM as a whole, Porsche, Nissan, Sport Auto, or any fanboy. It’s to learn y’all somethin’. Wanna know a great money making scheme? Have either Horst von Saurma, Sabine Schmitz (another pro-racing driver, and BMW ‘Ring Taxi driver), or Walter Röhrl (Porsche’s chief test driver, and greatest ranked Rallye driver of all-time) test every car on sale today. We can either set it up as a factory test with their support teams and car, or we can just do a showroom stock car like Sport Auto already do. Either way, it would end a lot of confusion on who are the best and worst on the Nürburgring. How would this be a money maker? Well, you get car companies -most higher end sport car companies have their own ‘Ring testing facility- to pitch in with the cars they’re already testing, along with the crews, shut the track down for a little while, and allow journalists to come and cover the event(s), and then allow the general public to pay to watch like they would a race. Simple as that. You have a set of Lap Time dates set up each year for car companies, and people would come from miles around to watch it. Think I’m wrong? Then you come up with a better idea, Sherlock.

The 991 911 from Porsche is a major evolution of the sportscar and now the soft-top version gets ready for a new summer.

What a difference three months make. After the September 2011 introduction in Frankfurt of the new Porsche 911 – called the “991” – I drove the Carrera S version of that new masterpiece coupe with both the new seven-speed manual transmission as well as the PDK seven-speed dual-clutch version with fresher better software in California during a very warm and sunny November. Today, I am on the Canary Islands just west of Africa in February to drive the new 911 cabriolet. I even looked at the weather forecasts to make sure there would be lots of pleasant weather; it’s an iconic cabriolet and I did not want to close the roof at all.

The big difference for that first drive in November really was that I and other journalists were concerned and a little scared to think about a 911 that is so different from the traditional 911 recipe. Before the drives in California, there was some tension in the air, to be quite honest. But after the drives, I realized that the wonderful 911 history would continue on to new great achievements with this 21^st-century car that is a big improvement both visually and dynamically over the 997 generation.

It’s very appropriate that I get excited over finally driving the cabriolet, too, because Dr. Porsche’s original 356 in 1948 was, in fact, an open car and not the more famous coupe. That being a fact, however, it’s also true that the modern 911 Carrera did not have a drop-top version until 1982 with the G-model 911 SC.

It would be pretty easy to say that this 991 cabriolet is just the coupe without a solid roof, but one can never just say that and not expect to cause a donnybrook. For one thing, the cabriolet is the utmost statement of French Riviera or Santa Barbara wealth and leisure. It is much more a four-season lifestyle statement than is the coupe body, the latter being mostly for those who stress the sporting side of the 911 legend. The same personality shift holds true here.

As with the 991 coupe, the 991 cabriolet is anywhere from 100 to 130 pounds lighter versus the previous 997 911 cabrio. This is primarily due to the wider use of aluminum in the body and chassis – a full 50 percent is in aluminum. It’s remarkable what Porsche has done as part of its “Porsche Intelligent Performance” effort here, since the 991 has a wheelbase that is 4 inches longer than that on the previous model car and it is 1.2 inches longer overall. The difference in the handling between the most recent 997 II and 991 models equates to a major improvement for the 991, what with that greater wheelbase, wider front track, lower ride height, and less weight while having more power and torque.

At 3,274 lbs of curb weight (or roughly 121 lbs less than on the preceding 997 Carrera S cabriolet) with the optional PDK gearbox and 394 horsepower at 7,400 rpm from the 3.8-liter flat-six direct-injected engine, that’s just 8.2 lbs per horsepower in the Carrera S trim. (And 8.1 lbs per horse when you stay with the standard seven-speed manual shifter.) Then, of course, torque is a healthy 325 pound-feet peaking at 5,600 rpm. When I take the top trim Carrera S cabriolet with Sport Chrono Plus and the weight savings and stopping power of the optional PCCB brake discs, I can reach acceleration to 60 mph in just 4.1 seconds as estimated by Porsche. That’s versus 3.9 seconds in the coupe body of the same setup. A day driving both this Carrera S 911 cabrio and the Audi R8 4.2 V8 Spyder with R-tronic would be a sweet day indeed, although the better side-by-side would be to wait for the 911 Carrera 4S cabriolet instead for it to be a true and fair comparison. The R8 Spyder may have 424 hp, but at 3,869 lbs it also weighs considerably more than any 911.

The biggest debate on the new 911 family has been the revolutionary change of electro-mechanical power steering for the very first time. Whereas on the new coupe I drove three months ago I felt very positive about the overall feel of this new steering strategy, especially the complete lack of resistance at the full left and right lock when driving quickly through tight curves, here in the cabriolet this new solution is almost perfectly matched. The balance between assistance and no assistance is ideally suited to the no-roof lifestyle, but it doesn’t ever go too soft. The directness of the action at the wheel in my hands while driving quickly in Sport Plus mode of the Sport Chrono Plus is really a pleasure here – even nicer than on the coupe.

Both the seven-speed PDK automated dual-clutch and seven-speed manual are based on the same set of gear ratios as set up by German supplier ZF. I enjoy both, this dual-clutch PDK in its third generation of development being every bit as good as the best Audi S-tronic seven-speed. The manual seven is as good as it needs to be, but the shift lever does go very far to the right away from me when the top gear is engaged. What Porsche has done to help minimize this feeling of reaching too far is to give the new 911 a center console similar to that in the famous Carrera GT. (Some might even say similar to the Panamera center console, too.) By doing this, the shift lever is closer to the steering wheel than before. The lock-out solution to avoid shifting into sixth or seventh gears until you’ve engaged fifth gear is another smart development, since those top two overdrive gears are a little long at 0.88:1 and 0.71:1 respectively in the manual treatment. In fact, top speed of 187 mph in the 911 Carrera S cabriolet with manual is reached soon after fifth gear with its 1.08:1 ratio. That ratio is the same for fifth gear in the PDK, but top speed in that case is 186 mph due only to the additional 44 lbs aboard..

The fundamental differentiator between this new model I’m driving here and the original coupe, of course, is the folding fabric roof. The exact weight to the car as a result of the roof, its actuators, and the structural changes to maintain chassis rigidity, is around 80 lbs, which is remarkably little. How do they do this? Porsche has engineered a magnesium “panel bow” structure for the tightly stretched roof fabric that significantly lessens the mass, while also maintaining perfectly the roof line as established by the hardtop 991 911. The main aesthetic result being that this cabriolet looks just as good as the coupe when it’s closed. Under the stretched fabric are four solid magnesium panels – the front section that attaches to the windscreen frame, two center segments, and the rear window whose framing is likewise in magnesium. While opening, the four segments lay one on top of the other neatly while the fabric part folds as before in a Z configuration. This all disappears into a rear bin over the engine compartment that is 9.0 inches deep and 21.7 inches across.

The action of the opening or closing of the new high-tech roof takes just 13 seconds, the rear steel tonneau cover being the only body part that needs to move while this occurs. The front section of the roof itself actually acts as the rest of the tonneau, if you will, once the roof is fully folded behind the rear seats. As for the wind deflector piece behind the front seats to lessen the buffeting within the cabin when the roof is open, this is now automated as well for the first time and can move into or out of position in just two seconds at the press of a new button on the console. Have to say: the organization of all this roof mechanism is terrifically easy and the most sophisticated feeling I’ve yet seen and experienced.

The other part about a loose roof is that the whole sound experience changes. Whereas the coupe body introduced the Porsche “sound symposer” – basically a mysterious membrane that transmits more intake sound from the engine through to the passenger cabin when the Sport Chrono Plus is set in Sport or Sport Plus – the effect of this here is understandably lessened by the increased wind noise while the roof is open. Trust me, though, the sound is still mighty nice and I’m getting a sun tan while driving this model in the Canary Islands. Not bad, I’d say, as trade-offs go.

The roads out here in the eastern Atlantic are a healthy mix of perfect surfaces but an occasional noisy and lumpy one. Given this, I generally preferred the 19-inch standard wheels on the Carrera base model instead of the 20-inch standard set now found on the Carrera S, particularly given the 991 model’s 2.1-in wider front axle when compared to the 997 generation (1.8-in on Carrera). On the other hand, whereas I feel the coupe does not much benefit from the optional Porsche Dynamic Chassis Control with its dynamic sway bars, I do feel that I’d want to have this on my cabriolet when I buy one. With the added 44 lbs of weight and the less rigid chassis/body communicating to me (though there is an 18 percent improvement in chassis vibration frequency versus the 997 II equivalent), PDCC together with the standard (on Carrera S) Porsche Torque Vectoring Plus at the rear axle helps matters when I’m in a situation where I can drive the car hard.

I deliberately chose to test a Carrera S with PDK and the standard multi-function steering wheel instead of the new sport steering wheel with shift paddles. Even today, customers want the standard steering wheel more than the paddles because only the standard wheel can come with multi-function features. The drive on the 20-inch Pirellis on the public roads, and at a small pro circuit where we could go a little crazy, is exactly as you might imagine: very tight and very responsive to every move of the steering wheel. The 0.4-in lower ride height of the Carrera S with sport adaptive suspension really does provide a sports car with two distinct personalities over the road.

Apart from these practical details of the drive test, I have to admit that the longer wheelbase and lighter weight with more direct steering for the 991 911 Carrera or Carrera S cabriolet help a lot in making this 911 finally get on a level playing field with the Ferrari 458 Spider or hottest trims of the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder. Never has an open 911 felt so strong, well built, and quick to respond.

This might easily be the best summer of your life. You can buy the cabriolet 911s starting in mid-April.

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2012 Porsche 991 911 cabriolet

Carrera:

Length: 176.8 in; width: 71.2 in; height: 50.9 in

Wheelbase: 96.5 in

Track f/r: 60.6 in/59.7 in

Curb Weight: 3,197 lbs (3,241 lbs PDK)

Engine: 3,436cc “9A1” flat-six, 24-valve; direct injection

Transmission: seven-speed manual (seven-speed PDK option)

Wheels/tyres: front – 8,5 x 19,0-inch front, 11,0 x 19,0-inch rear; 235/40 ZR19 92Y front, 285/35 ZR19 103Y rear; Goodyear Eagle F1

Top Speed: 178 mph (177 mph PDK)

0-60 mph acceleration: 4.8 seconds (4.6 sec. PDK; 4.4 sec. PDK w/Sport Plus)

Carrera S:

Length: 176.8 in; width: 71.2 in; height: 50.9 in

Wheelbase: 96.5 in

Track f/r: 60.6 in/59.7 in

Curb Weight: 3,230 lbs (3,274 lbs PDK)

Engine: 3,800cc “9A1” flat-six, 24-valve; direct injection

Transmission: seven-speed manual (seven-speed PDK option)

Wheels/tyres: front – 8,5 x 20,0-inch front, 11,0 x 20,0-inch rear; 245/35 ZR20 91Y front, 295/30 ZR20 101Y rear; Pirelli P Zero

Top Speed: 187 mph (186 mph PDK)

0-60 mph acceleration: 4.5 seconds (4.3 sec. PDK; 4.1 sec. PDK w/Sport Plus)

[ Billy “Snap” MacGillicuty – 991 911 text & photo; Christoph Bauer – 991 911 photo help]

Every automaker wants a colorful and clever tagline to sell their products, but also to build an enthusiast’s brand. BMW have been brilliant about this with their Ultimate Driving Machine slogan. The American equivalent of this slogan has been seen by us since around 1977 or so. A few years ago BMW got the idea to add “Joy of Driving” to their list of slogans.

You see, in Germany they’ve had a similar ad slogan built around Joy of Driving for decades, but no Ultimate Driving Machine.

Unfortunately, when Jack Pitney, head of Marketing for BMW NA, died in August of 2010, Joy went with him. And that, for me, was dumb. Maybe I’m the only one.

Here’s why you should start thinking like me, though:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Is the new 3-Series The Ultimate Driving Machine because the doors open easily when you have two babies or ladies in your hands? NO, damn it! It’s the ultimate when it drives, dumby! The doors, and all of the other recent adverts BMW are displaying for the new 3 are about Joy. Oh joy, this BMW makes me life easier. Not, “Oh this thing is so ultimate, it has features almost every car has!”

Catch my drift, BMW? If not, go jump into a river. Or maybe just crash a new 3-Series in the river while trying to use the ultimate features while driving.

Mazda are another car company that’s just gotten it horribly wrong for too long. “Zoom-Zoom”. When someone says this to me, I want to hit them with a Mazda. Luckily, they’ve recently started using it less and less, and now leaving it until the actual end of each advert. Soon, hopefully, it’ll be out totally, in favor of something that means something to one of the greatest automotive brands the world have ever seen. Hopefully all future ads will be more like the one below.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Brilliant, isn’t it? They have a 30-second spot, too.

Audi are probably the absolute worst at this. When the new Audi R8 came out in 2008 , they had this weird thing that it was some new kind of luxury, as were all other Audis, and they came up with this thing about other luxury makes checking their luxury status/badge, because it may have expired. Wait, what? They particularly lost this battle to BMW in billboard form. As you’ll see above, Audi started off with a picture of the new A4 for 2009 with the text, “Your move, BMW.” A local BMW dealer responded cleverly with, “Checkmate.” This all happened in Los Angeles. It would have been so much better in Times Square, wouldn’t it have been?

Audi then followed with their amazing new R8 with the line, “Time to check your luxury badge. It may have expired.” Congratulations, Audi. Way to kill a good time. Everyone also lost interest in this fight after this happened, because it became worthless.

I could literally go on for hours, days, weeks, a really long time discussing this topic. Yet I’ll spare you your eyeballs and let you mull over what I’ve said here. What have I said? Well nothing really.

To get to the meat of things, I’ll leave you with this. Car companies are desperately trying to get your attention. However, your attention span is about 3 seconds long. They spend millions creating Super Bowl advertisements that are meant to catch you at just the right time -see what I did there? So I implore you to take a gander and pay attention to what they’re doing.

With that said, it’s now your turn, car makers. You need to be more responsible. Fiat spent millions of dollars creating an advertisement with Jennifer Lopez that no one cares about. And then they had to settle lawsuits for drive-by images used of someone’s graffiti art. So to put it lightly, most of you are doing it wrong! BMW, there was nothing wrong with Joy. The only thing wrong with it was that you never accurately defined its role as an underling to The Ultimate Driving Machine, and the fact that Germany have had the same damn thing for so long. Also, I should blame automotive writers and journalists, too. They hated Joy and wanted it dead, to the point that they wrongfully badmouthed Jack Pitney and the rest of BMW. Mazda, get with the times here, huh? Your cars perform amazingly well, and they’re some of the best things to drive on the road. I know, I used to sell them to people. Come up with something smart that accurately defines who you are, and drop Zoom-Zoom. It’s time to go bye-bye. Audi, luxury badge… get over it. You’ve been a luxury automaker for years, people know this. Start becoming a company that makes less understeer, and offer us Americans what you do the Europeans, and we just may surprise you. Chevy, you “Run Deep”. Deep in what? See the ambiguity there? You went bankrupt not too long ago, you can’t say you run deep when the American tax payers are still making sure you’re around to do battle. Our pockets don’t run that deep, unfortunately.

So take this Uncooked Truth and bestow upon yourselves some raw knowledge, just like we have.

Anyway, the advertisement isn’t witty, it’s not funny, cute or purposeful. Instead, it’s done for America. It’s about us working as Americans to be the best again, to fix our own economy and take care of ourselves and our country. It’s not even about Chrysler, it’s about America, and how we can learn from the hardships that Detroit keeps pushing through to succeed. In a nutshell, it’s damn brilliant, and selfless. It gives me goosebumps, honestly.

Chrylser: Halftime in America

Acura, like most Japanese car companies, offer typically bland yet informative advertisements for their cars. This time, finally, they make one with no real purpose whatsoever. The real brilliance of this ad is Jerry Seinfeld doing everything he can for the first new NSX, running in to a potential issue with another car nut, Jay Leno.

The whole thing is absolutely perfect. It’s funny, witty, creative and just promotes the NSX the way it deserves.

Acura: Transactions

This year they’re back with an even hotter advertisement for the Super Bowl, literally. It stars the touched up 2012 Kia Optima, as well as Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima and ’80s rock band Mötley Crüe. My 79 year old grandfather, who purchased a Kia Optima SX Turbo last year, quipped, “Why didn’t she come with my car?”

Kia: Optima – A Dream Car. For Real Life.

Cadillac have been working out there since the C6 Corvette was first being developed, having later benchmarked the CTS-V’s performance there, as well. Now they’re at it again with the new ATS, or as they say, “Built from the ground up, to take on the BMW 3-Series.” This also happens to be GM’s overall downfall with Cadillac’s advertisements these days. Cadillac is the American BMW. What’s wrong with being the American Cadillac again? It’s still a pretty good advert, though.

Cadillac: Green Hell

Suzuki: Sled

Volkswagen: The Bark Side Teaser

Volkswagen: The Dog Strikes Back