Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?

Customer: I can do that. I’m not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?

Customer Service Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma’am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now.Is it okay to install while they are running?

Customer Service Rep: What programs are running ma’am?

Customer: Let me see….I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT,COM running right now.

Customer Service Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT,COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma’am?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Customer Service Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT,COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I’m done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

Customer Service Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

Customer Service Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops…I have an error message already. What should I do?

Customer Service Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says “ERROR 412 – PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS”. What does that mean?

Customer Service Rep: Don’t worry ma’am, that’s a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to “LOVE” your own machine before It can “LOVE”others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Customer Service Rep: Can you find the directory called “SELF-ACCEPTANCE”?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Customer Service Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

Customer Service Rep: You’re welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the “MYHEART” directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, EALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH,COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT,COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!

Customer Service Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go…

Customer: Yes?

Customer Service Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

Facebook privacy issues had been a cry over the net for the past few weeks. Though FB’s privacy settings had been updated extensively, there are some parts that most of you doesn’t know.

It’s extremely beneficial since incase you’re logged-in from an internet cafe or from your friend’s laptop, who knows it has a keylogger on it or you might have accidentally clicked on “remember me” checkbox.

Embedding Youtube video on a page is simple and had always been easy with the aide of Youtube’s embed code. However, embedding it inside a secure page doesn’t work well. It’s trouble and is a lot more painful in IE.

For most browsers, except IE, changing HTTP://youtube.com/ to HTTPS://youtube.com/ should work just fine.

# Embed youtube securely on IE
RewriteEngine on
RewriteBase /
RewriteRule ^youtube/(.*)$ http://www.youtube.com/$1 [L]

<?php
function youtube($URL) {
$youtube_code = $URL; // youtube source;
$u_agent = $_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT'];  // Find what browser
$domain = $_SERVER["SERVER_NAME"]; // Get domain name
if(preg_match('/MSIE/i',$u_agent) && !preg_match('/Opera/i',$u_agent))  { // Check if it's IE
$youtube_code = str_replace('youtube.com',$domain.'/youtube',$youtube_code);
}
$youtube_code = str_replace('http://','https://',$youtube_code); // replace HTTP with HTTPS
$youtube_code = str_replace('www.www','www',$youtube_code); // fix for the www.www BUG
return $youtube_code;
}
?>

<object width="390" height="297">
<param name="movie" value="<?=youtube('http://www.youtube.com/v/Xn_ERdqBIIw?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&autoplay=1');?>"></param>
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param>
<param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param>
<param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param>
<embed src="<?=youtube('http://www.youtube.com/v/Xn_ERdqBIIw?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&autoplay=1');?>" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" width="390" height="297"></embed></object>

[1]   FORTNIGHT comes from ‘Fourteen Nights’ (Two Weeks).

[2]   POP MUSIC is ‘Popular Music’ shortened.

[3]   MOPED is the short term for ‘Motorized Pedaling’.

[4]   BUS is the short term for ‘Omnibus’ that means everybody.

[5]  DRAWING ROOM was actually a ‘withdrawing room’ where people withdrew after Dinner. Later the prefix ‘with’ was dropped..

[1]   FORTNIGHT comes from ‘Fourteen Nights’ (Two Weeks).[2]   POP MUSIC is ‘Popular Music’ shortened.
[3]   MOPED is the short term for ‘Motorized Pedaling’.
[4]   BUS is the short term for ‘Omnibus’ that means everybody.
[5]  DRAWING ROOM was actually a ‘withdrawing room’ where people withdrew after Dinner. Later the prefix ‘with’ was dropped..
[6]   NEWS refers to information from Four directions        N, E, W, and S.
[7]   AG-MARK, which some products bear, stems from ‘Agricultural Marketing’.
[8]   QUEUE comes from ‘Queen’s Quest’. Long back a long row of people as waiting to see the Queen. Someone made the comment Queen’s Quest.. [9]   JOURNAL is a diary that tells about ‘Journey for a day’ during each Day’s business.  [10]   TIPS come from ‘To Insure Prompt Service’. In olden days to get Prompt service from servants in an inn, travelers used to drop coins in a Box on which was written ‘To Insure Prompt Service’. This gave rise to the custom of Tips.
[11]   JEEP is a vehicle with unique Gear system. It was invented during World War II (1939-1945). It was named ‘General Purpose Vehicle (GP)’.GP was changed into JEEP later.
[12]   Coca-Cola was originally green.
[13]   The most common name in the world is Mohammed..
[14]   The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with Asia, America, Australia, Europe
[15]   The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.
[16]   TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
[17]   Women BLINK nearly twice as much as men!!
[18]   You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.
[19]   It is impossible to lick your elbow. [20]   Wearing HEADPHONES for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
[21]   It is physically impossible for PIGS to look up into the sky.
[22]   The “sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
[23]   Each KING in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades – King David Clubs – Alexander the Great, Hearts – Charlemagne Diamonds – Julius Caesar.
[24]   What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?     Ans. – All invented by women.
[25]   A CROCODILE cannot stick its tongue out.
[26]   A SNAIL can sleep for three years.
[27]   All POLAR BEARS are left handed.
[28]   BUTTERFLIES taste with their feet.
[29]   ELEPHANTS are the only animals that can’t jump.
[30]   In the last 4000 years, no new ANIMALS have been domesticated.
[31]   STEWARDESSES is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
[32]   The human HEART creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
[33]   RATS multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.[34]   People say “BLESS YOU” when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
[35]   If you SNEEZE too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. So good to bless the sneezing person

MEN:

• Most men are extremely busy.
• Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
• Although they have time for women, they don’t really care for them.
• Although they don’t really care for them, they always have one around.
• Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

WOMEN:

• The most important thing for most women is financial security.
• Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
• Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
• Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
• Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “an old rag”.
• Although their clothes are always “just an old rag”, they still expect you to compliment them.
• Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don’t believe you.

^_^

Our Birth is our Opening Balance

Our Death is our Closing Balance ?

Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities

Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Heart is our Current Asset

Soul is our Fixed Asset

Brain is our Fixed Deposit

Thoughts are our Current Account

Achievements are our Capital

Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade

Friends are our General Reserves

Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill

Patience is our Interest Earned

Love is our Dividend

Children are our Bonus Issues

Education is Brands / Patents

Knowledge is our Investment

Experience is our Premium Account

Our aim is, to tally the Balance Sheet accurately.. ….. and the goal is, to get the ‘Best Presented Accounts’ Award. How’s your Life’s balance sheet is doing? ^_^

Today we will discuss about the some secret codes of Samsung mobiles. These codes may be not applied to all old models of Samsung mobile, but you can try to all latest Samsung mobiles. You can display the hidden information of mobile sets and troubleshoot the routine problems using these codes.
Follow the list of latest Samsung codes list:

Code Function

• *#9999# - Use to display the mobile software version
• #*3849# - Use to reboot the Samsung handsets
• *#06# – To display the IMEI Number of the mobile
• #*2558# – To on/off the mobile time
• #*7337# - Use to unlock the latest Samsung set
• #*4760# – Use to activate and deactivate the GSM features
• *#9998*246# – To verify the memory and battery information
• *#7465625# – To verify the Lock status of mobile
• *#0001# – To display the Serial Number of the mobile
• *2767*637# – Use to unlock the mobile code
• *#8999*636# – To display the storage capacity of the mobile
• #*2562# – Use to reboot the Samsung handsets
• *#8999*667# – Use to run the mobile in Debug mode
• *2767*226372# – To fine-tune the camera settings
• *#8999*778# – Use to display the information about mobile SIM card
• *2767*637# – Use to unlock the mobile code
• *7465625*28638# – Use to make active the Network Lock
• #*#8377466# -To display the hardware version
• *7465625*746*Code# – Use to make active the SIM card lock
• *#pw+15853649247w# – Use to unlock the mobile code without SIM card
• #*3888# – To verify the Bluetooth information
• *#9998*627837793# – Uses to get extra parameter for unlock mobile settings\
• #7465625*28638# – Use to unlock the Network Lock
• #*7983# – Voltage Use to regulate Frequency or Voltage
• #7465625*746*Code# – Use to unlock the SIM card lock
• #*2834# – Use to reset the handsfree options
• #*5376# – To delete all SMS in one command
• *#4777*8665# – Use to explore the GPSR tool list
• #*2474# – To verify the charging duration
• *2767*688# – Use to readjust the mobile TV options

Hope that helps! ^_^

When they first started, the online schools were largely regarded as a novelty, something amusing but not long lasting or permanent and certainly nothing to get very excited about. Then, people started graduating from very good schools without ever walking into an actual building or classroom and the laughing and the scoffing stopped. Suddenly, the whole concept of online school was more accepted, more highly regarded and most of all, more widely researched as a viable solution for the time constraint so many people are under. Can you earn a college degree from home? The answer is a loud, resounding yes!

Researching the Online Degree Programs

There is no limit to what you can accomplish once you set your mind to it. There is no limit to the type of degree you can receive from home either, especially if you know what you want to do, what level you will be striving for and, of course, the time frame in which you want to finish.  You can actually earn any level of degree with the online degree programs, including Bachelors, Masters and even Doctorate level programs in a number of different disciplines.

Figure out what it is that you want to do and what it would take to do it, and then find the right program.

Making Sure It Is the Right Online Degree Program

The right Accredited Online College Course is one that will allow you to get your education without having to struggle to fit the classes into your already busy schedule. It is one that is offered by an accredited school. It is one that has been recognized by the governing board of the field or the discipline as acceptable for this type of degree. Obviously, there are going to be some types of degrees that cannot be obtained via the online degree programs because there is a requirement of hands-on learning that must be included.

In addition to making sure that you have found the right online degree program for your needs, you need to make sure that you have found the right school. Each has different levels of support that they offer for their students, including some schools that have separate advisors who can help walk you through all of the processes, including enrollment, scheduling and financial aid.

Online Degree Programs Do Qualify for Financial Aid

You can earn a bachelors degree at home and can get financial aid to help you pay for it. That is something that most people do not really know or realize. They may think that only traditional schools get financial aid, but that is untrue. As long as the school and the program meets certain criteria, for instance by requiring a set level of attendance and being fully accredited, there will be some level of financial aid, including the usual grants and student loans that any other student would be able to get. That is why it is important to check out several schools before making your decision.