Fantasy Baseball Blog at Razzball.com

Rendon To Give Espinosa Some Nattie Slight

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Fri, 24 May 2013 18:00:11 +0000

This won't only be a Buy on [player]Anthony Rendon[/player] but also a Sell on [player]Danny Espinosa[/player] since he's used up all my hospitality, and I'm the Florence Nightingale of hospitality if she was known for hospitality and not just being in hospitals. I'm the Sean Penn of hospitality, refusing awards for my hospitality. I Desmond effin' Tutu of hospitality! Yeoman Albright, my great⁴ grandfather, invented the word hospitality, and Espinosa is nailing me to the Red Cross of hospitality?! How dare you, sir? How. Dare. You. He's not a .160-ish player, but he is only a .230-ish player and right now he's not even hitting homers. The clock is tick-tick-ticking on Rendon being called up to replace him, and I'm officially done with Espinosa (which, of course, will start him up). Depending on your league size, now is the time to stash Rendon. He's probably 7-10 days away. Here's what I said recently about him, "Rendon is gonna be a great one…some day. Damn, the fantasy baseball fortune cookie ending! Yeah, I’m not sure he’s ready just yet, but he’s worth a flyer in all leagues. I grabbed him in one league where I have Moustakas, because I’m tired of seeing that gyro-eating-motherfu– Let’s just say I’m tired of Moustakas. Best case scenario, Rendon stays up and hits for a solid average and gives high-teen power with some very light speed. Worst case scenario, Rendon shows up at your house at 3 AM and asks to sleep on your couch, which seems fine at first, then he tells you he has no place to live, stays for months, doesn’t ever flush the toilet or fill up the Tang in the fridge, then starts dating your aunt, eventually marries her, making him your uncle, a title he insists you call him." And that's me quoting me! Grab Uncle Rendon now, and move on from Espinosa in most leagues. Anyway, here's some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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Fantasy Razzball Update: May 24

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Fri, 24 May 2013 17:00:52 +0000

Fantasy Razzball is the game where the goal is to manage the worst fantasy baseball team possible. You hope to find terrible players who don't get sent to the minors. As in the RCL, a team's points are multiplied by the League Competitive Index. The LCI is based on the total points of the top 8 teams per league. The overall standings will be up later in the season. Points are credited as follows: Hitters (AB = +2, H = -3, R = -4, HR = -6, RBI = -4, K = +2) Pitchers (IP = -1, HR = +4, L = +8, K = -1, ER = +1.5, H+BB = +1).

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Jesus’s Descension

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Fri, 24 May 2013 07:15:02 +0000

[player]Jesus Montero[/player] was sent down and the Mariners called up Jesus Sucre. Jesus for Jesus was the original name of Jews for Jesus when it only had one member. The only thing that I pray is that my [player]Brayan Pena[/player] don't fail me now...Jesus sucks! And I don't think there is nothing Montero can do now to right my wrongs...Jesus Sucks! I want to talk to [player]Yan Gomes[/player], but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long...Jesus Sucks! To the SAGNOF hustlers, worm burners, lefty murderers, HGH drug dealers especially A-Rod's cousin... Jesus Sucks for them! To victims of Ron Popeil 'Set it and Forget It' catcher management style for we living in hell here hell yeah, Jesus Sucks for them! I.e., good riddance, Montero. With Easter passed, I have no idea when Jesus will be back, but I'd drop him in all leagues. Shoppach will take over full-time now, but this should put Mike Zunino firmly on your radars. On the most recent prospect power rankings, Zunino was honorably mentioned. Last time Scott, our prospect writer, really hooked his chompers into Zunino, he said this, "Zunino will likely surface in Seattle at some point in 2013, but his fantasy value, once up, is tough to gauge. His tools profile suggests he’ll eventually develop into a very nice big league catcher, and one you’ll want in fantasy leagues. But most people around baseball don’t see the Travis D’Arnaud/Jesus Montero/Devin Mesoraco-type ceiling with Zunino. Then again, he’s surpassed expectations at every stop thus far, and it’s within reason to think he could continue to do so at the highest level. A real overachiever, like our very own Grey." Hey, thanks! A word about that quote. (Actually a few words.) Jesus Montero is mentioned in there, and that's not a goof by Scott, this just shows you what catcher prospects look like when they come up. Catchers tend to take a while to develop because they're learning defense as much as offense. They can't just hit, they need to play defense. Well, except for Mike Piazza. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Bullpen Report

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Thu, 23 May 2013 18:00:40 +0000

So here we sit at the quarter post of the season, closers have had some ups and some flops. Staring at you [player id=9059]Mr. Axford[/player]. Forecasting the next big closer blow-up is no easy business. It's kind of like yelling Bingo and not really having it, facing the scourge of the geriatric posse that is inhabiting such an establishment. Let me just tell you it's an awkward walk to get coffee or to your car afterward. So, I am not going to sit here and bold-fully predict the next closer to go down, because I am not Negrodamus or that fake Jamaican psychic. But, I can tell you things that I notice that I don't like or do like. I like [player]Heath Bell[/player]'s re-established Heath Bell-ness. I am buying Edward Mujica as a one-pitch pitcher. I am worried about [player]Chris Perez[/player]'s career low numbers in categories that aren't really stats but I pay attention to. [player]Mariano Rivera[/player] is the G.O.A.T., period. It somehow took [player]Jason Grilli[/player] 13 years to get where he is and that's arguably the best fantasy reliever in baseball. So hit the red bar and see how far this rabbit hole goes.

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Bear or Bull: Jay Bruce The New Jay Wrong?

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Thu, 23 May 2013 17:00:16 +0000

One of the constant questions I get is 'Where did you get your nick from?' The other ones, if you were wondering, are 'Who is that in your avatar and what is he holding?'. Obviously you've never seen Worf hold a tribble. But if you have, then you would know those things are not what is in my avatar. It is none other than Montgomery Scott, from old school Trek. And what is he holding in his hands? The answer to that, like all things in life, is whiskey. And don't worry, I'm already advocating to Rudy for a Star Trek character page for all of us to link to. Thank me later. Anyhow, where were we? Ah, yes, the origination of my Razzy call-sign. Its really not that hard to decipher. Let's just say that it was given a long time ago, in a state far, far away. And it was given because when I do things, in all aspects, I do them very, very wrong. And the reason all of this got brought up is [player]Jay Bruce[/player] seems to be on pace to strikeout 209 times and only hit 18 homeruns. You certainly wouldn't call that Jayright, so let's find out if we should start calling him Jaywrong after the jump.

The post Bear or Bull: Jay Bruce The New Jay Wrong? appeared first on Fantasy Baseball Blog at Razzball.com.

Josh Jumps Off The Rutledge

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Thu, 23 May 2013 07:15:14 +0000

[player]Josh Rutledge[/player] did not play for the third time since last Friday because Walt Weiss is crummy with crackers, then thinking he was a real Weiss guy, Rutledge was sent down to Triple-A. This is the same Rutledge that went into yesterday's game hitting .259 with a homer, 3 runs and 3 RBIs in the last week. He'd be leading the entire Marlins team with those numbers! On our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater, he was above Starlin Castro, Alcides, Alexei, Rollins, Asdrubal for the year... Seriously. He was doing better than all but 8 shortstops. Yes, I'm on the River Denial and my boat is called, "Dubya Tee Eff?!" and I'm stopping at the Sphinx to riddle him with, "What are the Rockies doing?" Are you seriously going with [player]DJ LeMahieu[/player] because he had hits the last two days?! Why not just go with David Guetta? At least he's had hits I've heard of! The problem seems to be that the Rockies are holding Rutledge's fielding against him. Luckily, Weiss wasn't managing the Yankees in 1996 or Jeter would've been sent down for Luis Sojo. I know, The Art of Fielding, I know Dan Fielding, I do not know of sending Rutledge down for fielding. Stop the madness and bring back Rutledge! I'll admit when I'm wrong with drafting guys, but Rutledge was not a mistake. It's stupid teams, playing for stupid things that don't matter in 5x5 roto. STUPID! Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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The Razzball Podcast — The One Where Rudy Explains All Of Razzball’s New Features

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Wed, 22 May 2013 19:00:43 +0000

I sat out this podcast. Now, now, don't boo like Justin Bieber just won an award. It should be about the craft that we're making, and… this is not a gimmick, this is not a gimmick. This is about our Player Pages. What I like most about the Player Pages is that they give me another reason to not go to ESPN. The second reason is they are designed strictly for fantasy baseball. I love what Fangraphs offers, but it's for a baseball perspective. Sometimes you can't see the fantasy forest because of all of the baseball trees. I want to know how a player did most recently -- their ten game and thirty game log. I want to know their position rank, according to preseason and season to date, and not just for ESPN or Yahoo, but both. Not just for 10 team, 12 team or AL or NL-Only leagues, but all of them. I want to know how well someone is vs. righties and lefties. I want to what their next week looks like and what pitchers they are gonna face. I want to know how well they will do vs. how well they just did. I want to know the future, basically. That is all there. While it has its place, it doesn't matter for fantasy how well, say, [player]Juan Francisco[/player] did in Colorado in April when we get to June. If it's more than 30 days away, who cares for fantasy? I want to know how well he's going to do tomorrow or this weekend, or what he's done for the last week. I want to know if I own [player]Kyle Seager[/player] in my 14-team ESPN league where is he a positive (runs) and where is he a negative (steals). While it's interesting that Seager had 174 ground balls in 2012, this doesn't do anything for me without calculations. Those calculations have been done. If you're curious how many homers Hank Greenberg hit in 1938 (58), cool, but these Player Pages won't help you. If you want to know the exact predicted line of [player]John Gast[/player] for his next start, these Player Pages will help you. Also, on today's podcast, Smokey joins up to discuss bullpens in flux and late night munchies. Nick tries to convince Smokey that Skittles should have their own line of sodas and I think that's the most brilliant thing Nick has ever said. Agreed, Nick, I want to drink the rainbow! JB joins Nick to discuss his posts for the Play with Rudy from Razzball over at DraftKings and how the new tools give you an unfair advantage when playing against the masses. Then Rudy and the Hitter-Tron and Player Pages. Anyway, here's the Razzball Podcast (now with Rudy dropping knowledge on your head):

The post The Razzball Podcast — The One Where Rudy Explains All Of Razzball’s New Features appeared first on Fantasy Baseball Blog at Razzball.com.

Prospect Power Rankings, Week 7

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Wed, 22 May 2013 18:00:33 +0000

Baseball's purest prospect has been called up. Jurickson Profar has surfaced in Texas, and if you're just learning this now, you're far too late. Don't sweat it too much if you didn't get your hands on Profar -- I don't see much room for him in the Rangers lineup once Kinsler returns. If you did happen to scoop him, though, he's a wonderful lotto ticket with an even bigger potential payout given 2B eligibility. In other close-to-the bigs news, Houston prospect, Jonathan Singleton, will debut at Low-A next week after serving a 50-game suspension. He'll join MiLB home run leader, George Springer, at Double-A before long, and proceed to Triple-A where he'll likely stay for most of the year. In a different organization, Singleton and Springer would find themselves on the cusp of breaking through, but I don't see the Astros starting their clocks while the team is in rebuilding mode. Until further notice, those two remain outside the scope of these power rankings.

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DraftKings – Hungry For Some Money

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Wed, 22 May 2013 17:00:46 +0000

So for any of you esteemed loyalists to Razzball Nation who have not yet tried out DraftKings, the real question is why are you such a Schmohawk!? Well don't worry, we can trim that Schmohawk right off with an awesome offer from our friends at DraftKings to get you winning right away. For any first time depositor to the industry leading daily fantasy site, if you deposit at least $25 you'll receive an extra $10. Hurry though - the offer is only good until Friday at 5:00 PM EST - aka when Grey gets up in the "morning." That mustache won't comb itself! You've got to enter through our link here into another CAN YOU TAKE DOWN RUDY GAMBLE (and Nick) CONTEST, which returns to Friday (the 24th) this week. The contest is limited to 30 entries (up to 2 per person), with the winner receiving a ticket into another one of their huge six figures contests - the $100,000 Punch Out on June 14th. But as always, there isn't just 1 winner. This week spots 2-5 will double up to $10 and 6-10 nab $5. And if you're a first time depositor, you can get your two entries this week essentially for free! The last huge DraftKings $100K Spring Fling challenge last Friday had six Razzballers enter and commenter Pacochu got 54th and notched $200 buck-a-roos! Not bad for a $5 entry, huh? Hey Pacochu, next time we get cervesas at the cantina the Dos Equis are on you! I don't always drink beer with Razzballers, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Now I'm starting to get hungry for some tacos.

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Gaus Célèbre

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Wed, 22 May 2013 07:15:21 +0000

Yesterday, I was thinking how [player]Miguel Gonzalez[/player], who went 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, is a'ight. Has nominal value in mixed leagues against weaker teams and a solid back-end guy for AL-Only leagues, which could describe the entire O's staff. With the O's, you gotta mind your P's and Q's. Excuse me, I had Alphabet Soup for lunch and just burped. Those O's starters are okay, but I crave excitement. I'm an adrenaline junkie. Sometimes I'll blog with no pants on just for the RUSH I get. While in Starbucks. While holding my dog over my junk so I don't catch charges. I'm a responsible adrenaline junkie. So, when I heard Kevin Gausman will make his major league debut on Thursday, you can imagine how awkward it was carrying my dog over my junk without any hands, while working my cellular mobile device trying to pick up Gausman. I've gone over Gausman as recently as two weeks ago. He was my Wheeler before Wheeler. I lurve Gausman. The O's staff is iffy at best, so Gausman could definitely stick around. His numbers in the minors this year are insane. In 46 1/3 IP, he has 49 Ks and 5 walks. He could be the best called up pitcher this year. More likely, he'll have some extreme ups and downs in the AL East. I'd still grab him in all leagues just in case his ups far outnumber his downs. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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The Book Of Moreland

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Tue, 21 May 2013 19:00:05 +0000

[player]Mitch Moreland[/player], a notable imperialist, has been capturing the hearts and minds of fantasy owners while their villages are unsuspectingly pillaged. On the baseball field, he’s been hitting better than he has since 2009… when he was in high A ball. The boy’s a time bomb! So, will he be able to maintain anywhere near this level of production? Or will he turn it off like a light switch (just go click)? My fortune cookie says, “Signs point to yes.” Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with Exhibit A for why you shouldn’t ask your fortune cookie conflicting questions. For those of you who are familiar with Mitch, you’re probably pulling a Large Marge like me when you realized that he’s hitting over a 1.100 OPS in May. He’s doing everything a little bit better: lower strikeout rate, higher walk rate, and a higher home run to fly ball rate, which could be sustainable. Although the caveat is that he’s absolutely crushing the ball at home and against righties, so it’s hard to tell if he’s right side up or upside down. I’m thinking that he’ll likely produce closer to his numbers from last year, with slight improvement going forward. Mitch, I’ve got Moreland a feeling that you’ll still be solid the rest of the way. Anyway, here are some other players who have my attention in OPS leagues:

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Pitcher Profile: Jake Odorizzi’s 2013 & Rays Debut

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Tue, 21 May 2013 18:00:15 +0000

When [player]David Price[/player] went down with a triceps injury, mercifully so with the struggles he was enduring, the Rays finally announced over the weekend that prospect [player]Jake Odorizzi[/player] would be called up from Triple-A Durham to take his spot in the rotation . As Bill Murray would say, "Go Bulls!" I was fortunate enough to see Odorizzi pitch in Durham earlier this season, throwing 6.2 innings of shutout ball with 8 Ks against AAA Gwinnett. From what I remember in that outing, he features a mid-to-low 90s fastball and a wipe out breaking ball. Other than that, I couldn't tell much more from our seats, which were surprisingly tough to get in the Bulls home debut that night. There were free fireworks! Also, the city of Durham loves their Bulls, it is a very nice AAA experience. Anywho, I was stoked that Odorizzi would be pitching right around when my next Pitcher Profile was due out, so I decided to break down his Rays debut (and 3rd career start) at Toronto and see what kind of impact he could have for fantasy owners:

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Red Light, Green Light: Steals and Such at the Quarter Pole

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Tue, 21 May 2013 17:00:49 +0000

I went ahead and picked up [player]Jarrod Dyson[/player] this past week only to watch him sprain his ankle before even entering my lineup. ESPN has him listed as 0.0% ownership, so apparently my team doesn't even count in their world. I was about to get all depressed about it and throw on my Skinny Puppy t-shirt and black eyeliner when I realized that this is a SAGNOF world, and that means when one speedster goes down, we just go to the heap for another. We're about 1/4 of the way through the season already, and that means it's time to take a look at some stats for pitchers, catchers, and teams to try to exploit when chasing steals. I'll also take a look at what [player]Will Venable[/player] is up to and how [player]Pedro Florimon[/player] may be a possible source of cheap speed in very deep leagues. At the beginning of the season, I posted the 2012 numbers for pitchers and catchers who should be exploited or avoided when it comes to steals, as well as team SB allowed for matchup purposes. Here are those same stats through the first 40 games of the 2013 season.

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RCL Update: May 21

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Tue, 21 May 2013 16:30:20 +0000

Mauledbypandas held on to first for another week, but Jack Full of Hate closed the gap to just three tenths of a point as he moved up from 11th place to second. Impressively, the Hateful Jack also has the 18th ranked team. Check out the Master Standings (you can also access them via the Leagues menu up top) to see where your team ranks in comparison to the other 767 teams through Sunday. Tell me your team and league in the comments and I'll add your Razzball handle to the standings.

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Corbin Ain’t No Pat C

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Tue, 21 May 2013 07:15:55 +0000

On a scale of one to ten for most surprising starters, [player]Patrick Corbin[/player] is a one. One being the best. When you beat your high score in Mario Kart you never scream out, "I'm number ten," do you? Okay, so don't question my numbering. On a scale of one to ten for how likely it is Corbin keeps this up, it's around a 5, the number made famous by Short Circuit. Didja know before Short Circuit people would count 1, 2, 3, 4, 6? It's also why Marilyn Monroe left Joe DiMaggio. Corbin's not a 1.44 ERA pitcher, but he's not what he seemed like coming into the year either. His fastball has jumped in velocity, which has helped all of his pitches. I don't own him, which butters my grr's. I know most of you must've benched him in Coors yesterday for his 10 K, 9-inning, three-hitter gizzem, so I'll say it for you, sonavabench! Luckily, you own him for the whole season and he looks like he can be a mid-3 ERA, 1.20 WHIP, 7 K-rate guy, i.e., a fantasy two to three. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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A Razz New World

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Mon, 20 May 2013 17:00:20 +0000

We like baseball. We might even love baseball. But we love fantasy baseball more. If you read this site at all, this should not be news to you. We do not pretend to be a general baseball site. We do not pretend to write like general baseball writers or general baseball fans. Our focus and point of view has been irrevocably bastardized through the tainted prism of fantasy baseball fanaticism (and the fact that we are smart asses). Much like you, the vast majority of our baseball-related surfing is focused on day-to-day management of our fantasy baseball teams. Over the years, I shutter to think how much time that Grey and I pored through player news, game logs, player stats, etc. trying to find information that could help our teams.

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Baseballstar Profarlactica

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Mon, 20 May 2013 07:15:25 +0000

[player]Jurickson Profar[/player] called up to replace The Ian Kinsler DL Experiment. I'll wait here while you go add Profar in your league. Okay, back? Good! If you're not back yet, then you're not reading this, so let me clear the air, I slept with your sister. Baseballstar Profarlactica is the safest bet from catching the prospect hype virus in the known universe. First (after all those other firsts), let's see what Scott, our prospect writer, wrote, "Profar brings legit 20-20 potential, along with .300+ AVG, and an OBP north of .350. From shortstop, that sort of production would be enormous. Here’s Grey’s Jurickson Profar fantasy. Also check out my Top 25 Prospects for 2013, where Profar came in at #15. I also slept with your sister." Damn, hope those other people still aren't back. I'd grab Profar in every league. Yes, even yours. My guess is he will hit. My 2nd guess is C. Always guess C. That advice can get you into an Ivy League school. I didn't go to one, ergo, henceforth, vis-à-vis, I had to Google whether or not Ivy League was capitalized. If he hits, Profar could be here to stay with the Rangers saying, "Yo, Profar is hitting so let's keep him and move Kinsler to the outfield. Or just put a "Hockey sucks" t-shirt on Andrus and drop him off in Winnipeg." If Profar doesn't hit, he'll be sent back down and no one will need to go to Winnipeg. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Jam it or Cram it: The Bizarro World Edition

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Sun, 19 May 2013 18:00:06 +0000

Almost two months into the 2013 Major League Baseball season and things have suddenly turned into Bizarro World from the Superman comics. Those not familiar with the term please note what the scholarly website Uncyclopedia says, ”Bizarro World is a situation or setting which is weirdly inverted or opposite of expectations.” In Bizarro World, Bizarro Coke tastes like Pepsi, Bizzaro USA is Canada and Bizarro Tom Cruise is a heterosexual, black orthodox Jew. The Bizarro Code states, “Us do opposite of all Earthly things!

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Creeper Of The Week: Eric Chavez Is Kicking It Old School

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Sun, 19 May 2013 17:00:32 +0000

Age ain't nothin but a number, baby. And speaking of numbers, what's yours? Oh you're here with friends and you're just at the bar getting their drinks? But you only have one...hello, where are you going? I knew I should've shaved my ear hair before going out tonight...and scene. I give you this painful glimpse into an aging man's world so that you might better understand this week's Creeper Of The Week. Getting old sucks. Getting wasted and passing out is no longer considered cool, it usually gets you fired. Your smoking hot girlfriend who used to go out and party with you is now your wife and wishes you'd grow up. Muscles you didn't even know you used or had begin to ache even with the slightest change to your exercise routine. You stretch and you warm up, ready to take these fools on the court out. You think you look like Black Mamba out there but in reality, you just look like Will Ferrell from Semi-Pro minus that sweet frickin' afro. Like I said, reality hits you hard bro and that definitely happened to Eric Chavez and his HOF career gone wrong. This man has pretty much lived on the DL since about 2006 and at age 35 there's no reason to think that'll stop. So with all that, why should you be interested in Eric for week 8 of the 2013 fantasy baseball season? Follow me to the second paragraph to find out and make sure to bring a walking cane...

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When Is A Streak Not A Streak Anymore? Updated

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Sun, 19 May 2013 16:00:13 +0000

There was quite an interest with my recent foray into the statistical side of Major League Baseball and how we can apply it to our fantasy baseball teams. That intersect exists solely because we, as managers of our teams, are always looking for an edge.

The post When Is A Streak Not A Streak Anymore? *Updated* appeared first on Fantasy Baseball Blog at Razzball.com.

Minor Accomplishments: Week 7

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Sun, 19 May 2013 07:15:24 +0000

Bear with me for a moment while I venture outside stateside baseball for a look at a marvelous moment in Korean pro ball. The always great Ben Badler of Baseball America brought this clip to my attention this past Wednesday, and you really gotta give this one a look. Outfielder Jun-Woo Jeon is the batter. His team is down two runs with a runner on first and one out in the bottom of the ninth. He recognizes the fat breaker, turns on it, and lifts it to left field. He thinks it's gone and the game tied, so he flips his bat triumphantly and does one of those cool jogging finger points toward his dugout. It's not gone. No, the ball dies at the track, and not long after, the opposition dies of laughter. This is why you never bat flip. #Scouting.

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Deep Impact: Preparing For Your Own FYPD

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Sat, 18 May 2013 18:00:10 +0000

Our Razzball prospect protagonist Scott Evans is currently going over the upcoming MLB Draft and players who might have an immediate impact on your fantasy roster. Following in his footsteps, we'll be going over some lesser known names in this year’s draft that have the potential to be a winning lottery ticket further down the road.

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Pauly G. is a Jersey Sure Thing

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Sat, 18 May 2013 17:00:13 +0000

Paul Goldschmidt went off again last night, collecting four hits with two 2-run home runs and scored four times. Awww Schmiiiidt! Goldy has been locked in at the plate lately. Over the past two weeks, he's batting .400 with 5 home runs, 12 RBI and 2 stolen bases. As a result the D-Backs sit at the top of their division, winning three straight games and seven of their last 10. Paul is currently on pace for over 40 home runs, 15 steals and 120+ RBI. Although he will likely come back down to earth some, he remains the number one first baseman on the player rater and is looking like a lock to finish in the top three. He also is the number two player overall behind only mean Jean Segura. To quote Mike Myers second worst film, "I love...Goooold." We all do, Johan van der Smut, you horribly offensive Dutch stereotype. We all do. If you read Razzball faithfully, there's a good chance you own Pauly G. on a team or two. If so, you are lovin' life right now, so enjoy this. Bask in it. Take. It. In. You earned it. I had a goldfish named Goldy but I never loved that dumb fish as much I love owning Paul Goldschmidt. So thanks Grey. Thanks Rudy. If you ever need a kidney, I'm your guy. Here's what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:

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Two-Startapalooza — Week 8

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Sat, 18 May 2013 07:15:54 +0000

The week 8 two-start landscape is particularly cruddy. Sure, if you've got a Kershaw- or Miller-type two-starter you're set; you're awesome. Good for you. Those of us perusing the wire for our two-starters, though, are left with mostly turds. It's really bad. We have ten dudes in the "DON'T START" tier. Our previous high in that department was six, and that week is the only other with more than three in the bottom tier. Maybe I'm just in a pessimistic mood, but I truly don't trust the bulk of the week 8 crop. Take it easy on the two-start streaming this week. As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

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Buy Max Before His Climax

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Fri, 17 May 2013 18:00:14 +0000

Max Scherzer has heterochromia, which is a condition where one eye is a different color than the other. Here's a picture of him. Christopher Walken, Kiefer Sutherland, Mila Kunis, Kate Bosworth, to name a few, also have this condition. Doesn't this seem like something that at some point will be the "it thing?" I could totally see teenagers in the future riding their hoverboards and wearing only one colored contact. Then further down the line the government will require everyone to have different colored eyes and teenagers with the same colored eyes will rise up to overthrow the government, only to be thwarted because some counter-terrorism organization supplied the teens with marijuana and a new "awesome" video game. Actually, I'm kinda surprised this hasn't happened yet. With my deep, dark, mysterious, cock-eyed peepers, I looked into Scherzer and decided he's been the 3rd best pitcher in baseball so far, if you throw out his ERA (the 2nd best is Anibal and 4th best is Burnett). Sure, when one looks cock-eyed at things, they cherry-pick stats and throw out common sense. Still, Scherzer has been fantastic. His K-rate of 11.26 is fifth in the league. His walk rate is 24th. Besides Peavy, Scherzer is the only one in the top 24 with a 9+ K-rate and a walk rate that low. Basic math: if you strikeout people and don't walk them, great things will happen. Scherzer has been better than F-Her, only F-Her has an ERA of 1.53 and Scherzer's is at 3.98. Fantasy baseballers (<--Grand Dame Albright's term!) tend to overrate recent past results and ratios they can understand like ERA. If someone in your league thinks Scherzer is nothing but a #2 or 3 with good Ks, they're wrong as no rain. I'd pursue Scherzer quickly before his ERA turns around like a dramatic prairie dog. Anyway, here's some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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Hughes Serves Poo Poo Platter to His Owners

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Fri, 17 May 2013 17:00:03 +0000

Phil Hughes - Oh Phillip, you sure had me fooled bud. You were having a nice season and had a very nice matchup with Seattle this week. You've always dominated Seattle, Phil. Your career numbers against them were staggering, and here Seattle was, coming into your house. I fully expected the taste of victory, but you pulled an R. Kelly, urinating all over my face, down my throat and even in my eyes, causing temporary blindness as well as hours upon hours of regurgitation. The fact that I would surely be delighted if someone "Nancy Kerrigan'ed" Hughes this weekend almost makes me feel demonic. Howard Hughes could have put up a superior performance on the mound Wednesday night. And that's after locking himself in his theater room for months on end, filling up countless milk bottles with calcium enhanced piss. I truly believe in my heart that Howard could have come out of exclusion, walked into Yankee stadium, and shown at least 3 times the testicular fortitude than the constant let down we know as Phil. Hold on. What?? Howard Hughes is dead? Who cares? Dig up his rotting carcass, sprinkle some voodoo on him to get him "movin like Bernie,"and throw him out there. On a side note that down south dance and rap song inspired by the Weekend at Bernies saga is one of the more underrated trends to ever hit the United States and died out much too quickly in my opinion. Peep game If we all do our part, we may be able to make this song relevant again. He might even be interested in the Razzball podcast but I'd have to host as Capozzi doesn't speak fluent ebonics. He speaks Canadian though, so that's cool. Or not. Anyway let's get to to what else I saw in fantasy this week. Do it like Bernie!

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Nolan Ryan Kavorkas Visiting Fireballer

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Fri, 17 May 2013 07:15:03 +0000

First clue I’m human, when I overheard an old woman tell someone she showers while sitting on a stool, I shivered. Second clue, I used to wear Z. Cavariccis. First clue Justin Verlander is human was last night. He had the worst outing of his career with 2 2/3 IP and 8 ER. Verlander looked like Kate Upton, if Kate had Rosie O'Donnell's head. Sorry, that's a visual you won't get out of your head for a long time. It's like two girls, one shower stool. Can't you just take a bath? Please tell me this isn't old age.... Speaking of which (watch how I tie this loosely into fantasy baseball), Verlander is thirty years old and... Still lights out. This was one bad start, don't panic. C'mere, let me massage your shoulders and... I just pick-pocketed you! You gotta be careful with that. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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A New Razzball Exclusive Stat: Gamescore+

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Thu, 16 May 2013 19:00:53 +0000

Disclaimer: This is as technical and as nerdy as it gets. Wait I thought this was Razzball not Fangraphs! Well there’s my only joke, so only read on if you’re into the hardcore sabermetrics or sabretooth tigers. Dammit, OK, that’s the last one… The stat developed by Bill James, the “Gamescore”, was a way to evaluate a pitcher’s performance on any given game and is used more and more frequently to determine who pitched the best game (ala Shelby Miller’s 1-hitter vs. Matt Harvey’s).

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Closer Look

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Thu, 16 May 2013 18:00:52 +0000

I wish I knew what Donnie Baseball was doing, he says what he doesn't mean but means what he doesn't say. I personally think we need to get Rand Paul involved in this and get some filibustering going. Maybe Magic can open a movie theater or something to show us a preview of what is actually going to happen. Well my theory is this, Donnie is a player's manager and doesn't wanna step on anyone's feelings, so instead he will have no common decency and piss all over everyone's fantasy teams. He kinda makes me feel the same way I felt when I watched Iron Eagle for the first time and I really thought Chappy died. Cheated is the reference, if that movie escapes you. So for my own personal rankings below I have inserted Kenley into the chart, while I am not completely sold that we know which way is loose. So screw it, it's my list so I am placing him there just like the Gideons place bibles.

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Bear or Bull: Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go!

grey@razzball.com (Grey Albright) — Thu, 16 May 2013 17:00:24 +0000

Admit it, you sang the title when you read it. There is no denying this. While I'm not sure that qualifies as a good thing, I don't necessarily consider it a bad thing. As a child of the 80's, I am neutral in this regard. You might not be, however. You might think Admiral Ackbar should have been there to warn you of an impending trap. Or you might think that I'm a kindhearted person that would never launch a guerrilla campaign of thought-wars with old 80's songs. Or even that I might secretly be seeking affection and approval from the Guru. You would be wrong on all three counts, because, you know, ef his turban thingamajig. Amiright? Or excuse me, jam or cram his very big head accessory. Anyhow, like five sentences later, you still have that song stuck in your head, don't you? Hey buddy, don't hate the player, hate the game. You think I'm going to talk about Carlos Gomez, who's nicknamed Go-Go, and not go with a Wham title tie-in? You not knowin' son. You not knowin'.

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