The Ron Burgundy

Benched!

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Wed, 11 May 2011 01:30:00 +0000

It would appear that my computer has been suffering from a case of the pussy-willow. It doesn't hold itself up, can't support anything running on it, and is ultimately lame.

Once it is repaired (or replaced, ugh) I shall return to bless you all with my heresy. Or is it here-say. Who cares?

Did this warrant another blog post? Maybe not. Point is, i'm still here, except i'm not.

Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 10:58:00 +0000

I've been off in the hills of the Himalayas, learning how to ululate with my throat correctly from these wonderful Tibetese people in orange diapers.

Will be back to post soon, stay tuned.

RB

Heartfelt Apologies

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 00:44:00 +0000

This just in, a man cheats on his girlfriend and calls the wrong number to apologize and offer an excuse.

Oh boy, champagne does sound delicious. On "big ass titties"!

Music Find of the Day - 040511

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 21:25:00 +0000

A new EP has been revealed, and more excited I could not be.

F.O.O.L. destroys speakers, my last stereo speaker duo can attest to it, so play with care.

Invasion EP Teaser - OMGITM 010 by FuckOurOrdinaryLives

Note: I won't be posting Music every day, it's generally based on luck and good finds are hard to...well, find.

Kick it up a notch? How about: Kick it in the nuts.

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 20:44:00 +0000

The newest installment of what is one of the greatest cooking shows of the ages, Epic Meal Time, serves you with a hearty punch to the stomach and your ego as the boys challenge the hegemonic relationship that people have with food. Not only are they plugging their arteries with lightning speed, so to are they capturing and captivating an entire generation lacking proper culinary role models.

Thank you, kind teachers. We are learning.

NPD's Top 10 Grossing Games of Our Generation

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 21:59:00 +0000

Check it out here for the list.

It's not adjusted for inflation, and considers the entire package sale for games, which skews the report slightly in favor of games that required (or packaged in) peripherals.

So of course, Guitar Hero 3's popularity multiplying the sales in both game and guitar to each other as a unit or separately have obviously made a difference.

Also, the other games on the list have extra collector's edition packs. If you want to make money in the video game industry, that seems to be the way to do it.

What games would you pick for the Top 10 of our (or your) generation?

Music Find of the Day - 040111

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 21:18:00 +0000

So I realized with this new track on what terms I will be sharing music with you guys.

When I find something new, revisit an oldie&goodie, or can't stop playing a certain track.

This is the first one, and it's straight from the fleshless horse's mouth himself, Rusko.

Short, and sickeningly (literally) sweet.

Let me know in the comments what kinds of artists tickle your fantasy, and what you'd like to see more of.

Furry Tractors

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 19:22:00 +0000

Good morning, i'm Ron Burgundy, and we've really got something special for you today.

Planet Earth is home to many great things. Good poetry, a glass of scotch, and of course, women. Women make the world turn around.

I'm just joshing you, of course they don't.

But for a week out of every month, they can make your world turn upside down in a whirly dervish tornado, like one of those little cyclones in a bottle. Of course we shouldn't make fun of their disease, but there are places to get more information about your special lady's cycles.

To understand how best to tame the ravenous, crazed, bear-ladies during their periods of crisis, this website from the internet has chosen to bear with women long enough to measure just how crazy they can get after one load of laundry, doing the dishes, or making dinner. I've even learned a few tricks for my woman; Veronica sometimes will bite my neck at night, and instead of fighting her off as the shaggy bear I mistake her for, we make whoopie until the sun rises. And then she makes breakfast.

What do women have in common with bears? Well, the grizzlies below- I mean only men shave, maybe some day it'll catch on with women. No point here, women just have things in common with bears. Along with that, Brick tells me that "bears can smell menstruation". Now, I don't know what that means, but it sounds bad.

Well, that's all we have for now. Make sure to check out the website, and let me know what you think in the comments below.

I'm Ron Burgundy, and you stay classy, Planet Internet.

Music Find of the Day

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 19:19:00 +0000

I am insanely passionate about music, specifically Electro House. There are many genres like it, but this one is mine. Without me, my music collection means nothing. Without my music, I mean nothing.

Enough with the fanaticism, but you get the point. Not that the blog will focus solely on music, but do expect some more in the future.

Today's find is by Felix Cartal, and it's absolutely driving.

01. Popular Music Intro by Felix Cartal

Such energy, clarity, and simplicity.

Let me know what you listen to, so I can get a feeling of what you guys and gals like.

Our Brave King

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 22:55:00 +0000

"All this is yours!"

"What, the curtains?"

"No, not the curtains...speaking of which, shave that thing, it's gross."

Look at this man. He stands atop a foundation built upon generations and generations of privileged white male camaraderie. Emblazoned with simple cars, like BMWs, Mustangs, and that occasional douche in the Jaguar. Impeccable lawns maintained by Pedro (your mother said he does great pool jobs).

This is our king.

He reminds me of when I was a but a stallion, with my mutton chops and argyle pants. Oh the memories. Anyway, this man has been identified as a member of the Kappa Sig's at USC, a frat notorious recently for an email "allegedly" sent by one of the members laying the law for the new kids.

The photo above is among many properly cataloguing his courting routine with this fine young woman. He must have travelled the world and become quite a scholar to know so many positions. I don't know everything he was doing, as I am no expert in the Kama Sutra. But I can imagine when he's making sweet, sweet love to her on top of that building with such a view; it doesn't matter any longer which way she gets it.

It's nicknames for body parts, color codes for each race of the rainbow (with bonus hybrid flavors!), and a base ten numerical rating system for women that reminds me of campfire conversations with the boys when we were young. Boys will be boys, right? Don't worry, i'm being dismissive and naïve, and I only know what one of those words mean.

However there is a moral to this story, beloved readers. Don't drink Natty Ice. People go stupid from it, it's science.

3eanuts

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 18:33:00 +0000

Much like Garfield Minus Garfield, 3eanuts is styled by removing a panel from a comic such that the pervasive and generally depressive thoughts of our own are highlighted...and that's it.

3eanuts is the site, and it's got that... I don't even know how best to describe it. Take a few minutes to look at a few and not give a thoughtful "Hm."

Darker comedy, richer quality. Of course it's my opinion that it's better sans-punchline, but honestly, I just read the Sunday paper yesterday and it was horrid.

Things like this remind me why we pay the big bucks to the dudes who make people cry in front of a camera, because ultimately we want to know that someone else in the world can recognize the dark parts we get so possessive over. Being able to make fun of those parts is the tricky part, and with the final joke omitted it's much more difficult to screw up what starts off as damn good commentary on life. Give 3eanuts a follow and two minutes an update. Let it do something more than fill space in shitty newspapers.

Also, again like GmG, it's an idea based off a popular and massive collection of comics. Worry not about it running out any time soon.

Men Being Men

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 02:14:00 +0000

I am not a baby. I am a man. I am an Anchorman. But most importantly, I know what a man is. A man is a man, and men is what I know, because i'm a man. There are many things that make men men, but I don't have the time before my evening scotch to go over everything. So i'll let someone else do it.

Here is what AskMen say about the top ten fake people who do what Ron Burgundy does best.

Smoke fine cigars, drink fine scotch, and bed fine women; all while pitching a no-hitter, driving fancy cars, and saving the world in a suit. Just another day in San Diego.

Obviously if they were talking about Non-Fiction Playboys, yours truly would have been asked for a brief quote to be put next to the Numero One slot. Ron Burgundy does not take well to losing, and if you're not first, you're last. Especially if it's to those Channel 4 dirtbags.

You stay classy.

http://www.askmen.com/top_10/celebrity/top-10-fictional-playboys.html

Greetings

noreply@blogger.com (Ron Burgundy) — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 01:03:00 +0000

Hello readers. Welcome. I am not Ron Burgundy.

However, there will be many leather-bound links, the blog will always smell of rich mahogany, and should you eat an entire wheel of cheese, I won't even be mad. That's amazing.

You stay classy, Planet Internet.