Reach Me How To Dougie

Black Ops Review, #2

2010-11-17T23:06:00.001-05:00

In case you've wondered where Will was these past few days, it's safe to say that I have had a steady helping of both CoD Black Ops and Halo: Reach. "What!?" you cry in dismay when you see this- "How can Will desert his beloved Halo for that crappy Treyarch game?" Well, I'm here to give you a review of the game in my opinion, because I know, deep down, that you were wondering whether or not to purchase the game or not. Read on to see my take on Treyarch and Activision's newest creation.

It's tough to organize my opinion on this matter, so I'll just throw out all of the things I like and dislike about Black Ops in one great Pros and Cons list. I apologize for the clutter.

Things that I like about the new CoD game:

The campaign. It is honestly, hands down, the best story produced in a Call of Duty game. You are immersed into the mind of a C.I.A. operative and all of his perilous endeavors. At points, the story mode feels like a scene straight out of a popular war/action film, but in a good way. If you have 60$ to burn, the campaign alone is reason to buy this game, or you should at-least borrow it from a friend. Trust me, it will have you sucked in for a long period of time. The structure of the campaign is typical of a CoD game- huge firefights that you always come out on top, with interesting vehicle and running scenes mixed in. However, they fit in perfectly with the cool story. Voice acting is superb (as Foup mentioned), and the actual shots seem amazing. I dont want to spoil anything, but an early mission has you exiting a tent in Vietnam with the army radio playing CCR's "Fortunate Son" in the background as you step into the golden sun with numerous helicopters in the sky. Clearly, much time has been put into detail in this department.
Customization. With each new CoD, player customization becomes more and more huge, and in Black Ops, the developers took it to a whole new level. I particularly like the new "Layered" format of emblem design. I could ramble on about all of the new features, but instead I will just show a video that does the same thing.

The multiplayer. Now, I know what you're thinking, but I appreciated the multiplayer. Point is, if you enjoyed yourself with the last CoD, you will enjoy this one, because in all honesty, it's the same. I hadn't played MW2 in a few months, but within the first 5 minutes of Black Ops it hit me- it's the same multiplayer experience. Quick paced, "arcade" like format, with numerous 13 year old pre-pubescent boys screaming about how you're a try-hard because you got a better KDR. That said, I don't mind it too much. I got to 5th prestige legit in MW2 with something like 11 days played because I ENJOYED the game. With Black Ops, they made some minor improvements, but left some problems unfixed. For instance, kill-streaks are now, in my opinion, "weaker" in a sense- no longer do I enter a game that's half-done and there's already an AC-130 and Pavlow raping my ass. Now it's RC-XD cars, which can be annoying at times, but not nearly as frustrating as getting spawn killed repeatedly. However, the glaring problem that I saw was the spawn system. I played several games on the terrible map that is "Nuketown", and could literally sit in a corner in a backyard and go 31-0. If I chose to run forward, I could wait 3 seconds, and see the enemy team spawning 15 feet from my back. This happened on multiple maps, and it can really get out of hand. Now for S&D and other objective games this is not as big a deal, but nonetheless, this is a serious problem that I feel was unfixed.
Recoil. Finally, guns are harder to shoot. No longer can an inexperienced FPS'er destroy with a full auto gun from a mile away- controlled bursts are necessary if you want to do well. Guns now have a sort of "learning curve" and distinct feel to them, which I thoroughly enjoy.
Zombies. Enough said. They brought back the only good thing in WaW, and it's just as fun. It serves as a fun thing to do when campaign and multiplayer leave you burned out.
Contracts. A new spin on the game, where you wager coin in hopes that you complete a specific challenge in a period of time, earning more money as a payout than you originally spent on the challenge.

The bad:

The whole money system. I don't like it. It's essentially the same thing as before, but more complicated and unnecessary. I was perfectly happy unlocking guns as I moved up the levels. Literally everything costs credits now, from gun camos, to facepaint, to logos for the emblem. Not necessary, and it's too easy to earn money.
Assault rifles. Again, I feel that they are too overpowered. The new fully auto Famas in my opinion rivals the best of the SMG's, but with the ability to go long range as well. I
Hit detection. It may be lag or just bad coding, but on multiple occurrences I get hitmarkers on the heads of enemys while I snipe. If you've played for a while, you know what I am talking about.

Summary with comparison to Halo:

If you liked MW2 multiplayer, definitely buy this game. If you didn't like the multiplayer, then rent it or borrow it, just to complete the campaign. Overall, by no means does it replace Halo: Reach, but it offers a different feel and playing experience. It does not steal my love for Halo, but it is something I will enjoy to mix in from time to time.

Any questions or suggestions, please place a comment below (I will read and reply), or email at reachmhtd@gmail.com

The Foup

2010-11-11T16:30:00.008-05:00

Foup #4: An Indecent Proposal(not like the movie)

Call of Duty Black Ops came out a week ago. According to Team Xbox.com, it sold 5.6 million copies, or $360 million dollars worth of games. I know this is a Halo blog, but a game this big I should bring up in at least one in-depth blog about the game, which I prefer, and whether you should buy it(if you haven't already).

So yes, I bought the game, and guess what, I have both of the Modern Warfares as well. Sometimes you need a little COD on the side, but Halo will always be the true lady of my life(sad as that might be). I've been kind of a COD fan as long as Infinity Ward was making the game, and although I was never good at the game's, they were fun as hell. So this time I took the plunge and bought a Treyarch Call of Duty; lets see if it was worth the $60 and change it cost me.

First thing to know about this game is that it is a Call of Duty game post the first Modern Warfare. This means that it is very similar to the style of the other's. It's main point will be a very fun multiplayer with extremely customizable weapon's, class, and perk structures, and killstreaks, with a somewhat realistic type game-play. The side-show will be the solo campaign with constant overblown action, and some sort of co-op mission gameplay. This system tends to work fairly well to produce a game that will have kid's beg, plead, commit crimes, sell drugs, solicit sex, guess star on According to Jim, be in a Stephen Sommers or Michael Bay movie, or do whatever dirty work they have to do buy the game(by the way, that list goes in increasing intensity)

I'll start with the campaign. I personally think it is one of the most interesting fictionalized stories in a Call of Duty game. It is really interesting, and to say the least, there is a device that keeps you hooked the entire game. The literal gameplay is traditional COD, as in you follow a route where you kill a bunch of baddies with guns from the time period. One thing I have to ssay about the action in the game is that its very Pierce Brosnan James Bond(or Michael Bay, but I really don't want to use his name twice in the blog). For those of you who don't get the references, there is constant action, which at a certain point, becomes overwhelming. Finally, the best thing about the campaign, and possibly the entire game, is the voice acting straight outta Compton. That's right, Ice Cube voices the token black guy in the campaign, as well as narrating some of the games. I think it is awesome to hear Ice Cube's voice telling me to fight harder, because if I don't, he'll probably fuck me up like he did to those police.(N.W.A. reference for those who don't get it).

Multiplayer. The single most important part of a Call of Duty game. Guess what? Its the same as every other Call of Duty game. Unfortunately, the minor additions to the game are cool, but not revolutionary enough to call the multipayer anything unexpected or out of the ordinary. The main new addition is the money system, which I have pretty much found pointless. It's a system in which you earn money with which you unlock all your new guns, emblems, face paint, etc. The problem is, you still have to level up to buy things(I would rather have them cost differently, since every gun costs $2000) and money is easy as hell to get. If you do well, you can buy a gun after one or two matches. The other addition to multiplayer which I do find fun are wager matches. Wager matches allow you to bet the money you earn on fun-type games like one in the chamber (where all you have is a pistol, knife, and a bullet to play a match with) or gun game(where you get different guns based on your position in the game). These matches are extremely fun, but overall the multiplayer is just more of the same.

Co-op mode=NAZI ZOMBIES
Yes, its back. Arguably the only reason to buy COD: World at War has arrived on black ops, and its awesome. There are three new maps, and two of them are extremely worthwhile, while the other is a fun novelty. The first map is most like Der Rise as much as it has the teleporter and pack a punch that were so vital in reaching level 30 in the first zombies. This map is completely different though. It has an abandoned mansion feel and an overall creepier vibe. Its also 10x harder. First couple times I played, I barely made it past level 5, and Doc could hardly make it past level 3( to give him credit, he was eating a Mcgangbang at the time). The other map allows you to defend the pentagon as Richard Nixon, JFK, Fidel Castro, and some other guy no one cares about(I believe he's Russian ). It has some twists that I won't spoil, but trust me they are awesome. The third is an arcade zombies which is fun for a while but to be honest I couldn't see myself playing that over and over.

Overall, this is another Cod game with a couple of new features. Obviously, Reach is an all-around better game, but I'd pick this one up. It is very entertaining, and nothing is better than hearing Ice Cube tell you your in the lead online.

Additional Thought:
The look of this game is kind of off. For the really dark storyline, this is probably the most bright and colorful Call of Duty I've seen in a while. Kind of throws me off.

Doc's Advice #8: What Did You Say?

2010-11-10T19:00:00.001-05:00

Ellohay, Reachers. In Doc's Advice #3, I discussed the origins of the word "noob". I got some positive feedback from people, so I decided to do another one. Now, this word is more used in computer gaming. However, I have definitely heard this word on multiple occasions and its multiple pronunciations while playing Halo: Reach. I am talking about the word "pwn".

"Pwn," has many alternate pronunciations. Personally, I pronounce it pone, i.e. rhyming with the words bone and cone. Nevertheless, I have heard it pronounced pawned ane pee-owned. The word is fun to say regardless of pronunciation. Pwn is a slang word of the verb owned and means to dominate, humiliate, or to take ownership of.

But where did this word come from. Well, would you believe that this popular word began from a simple typo. Look at your keyboard. The letters "o" and "p" are right next to each other. The belief is that a prominent Warcraft II map designer made a custom map that displayed a special message to losing players. The message was supposed to say with the gamers name in the blank "___ has been owned" but instead displayed "___ has been pwned." The word spread in the gaming community, and pwn became a mainstream word.

There are alternate theories. Some claim that it just was used as a shortened form of phrases such as "publically owned," "player owned," or "pure ownage." Some say it originated from chess and that checkmate was sometimes called getting pawned, and pwned came from pawned. Some agree it was a typo but came from other online games like Quake or Starcraft. Whatever the origins, people can agree that "pwn" is a commonly used gamer word.

So, I say to y'all. Play Reach. Have fun. And try to "pwn" some "noobs."

Doc's Advice #7: Endless Possibilities

2010-11-08T19:00:00.001-05:00

Guten Tag, Reachers. Today's topic is kind of general. However, it is one of the main reasons why I prefer Halo over others multiplayer shooting games like Call of Duty. In both of these games, you can kill people both online and in campaign. In both, you can get all your friends together and play in a custom game, as well as edit emblems and clan tags to personalize your character. But, what Halo has that Call of Duty doesn't is Forge.

The possibilities are plentiful in this game type. Halo: Reach did a great job of improving on something already great by adding Forge World - a blank canvas where you can add structures, weapons, vehicles, and scenery to your liking. It is miles of vast land mass of varying terrain, such as islands, mountains, grassy plains, and seas, just waiting to be tinkered with.

Whatever you can imagine, you can most likely do. You can make an intense race course for all your friends to enjoy with all sorts of twists, turns, obstacles, and traps. You can create a battleground with sniper towers, long tunnels, bunkers, bridges, and corners to play with your friends and fight it out on something different than the normal maps. You can even just mess around in there, like splattering unsuspecting victims with a staircase or bridge while you are in forge bot. You can make a golf course and hit the links using the new golf clubs and Mongooses for golf carts.

So I say to you all, spend some time in Forge. Take a break from Matchmaking or Campaign and make stuff. Let your creativity run wild, imagine great things, and build the map you have always wanted

The Foup

2010-11-07T22:11:00.001-05:00

Foup#3 A Day in the Life: I read foup's blogging today, Oh Boy (Beatles reference, for those of you who don't get it, link)

Also, this blog is best read with good knowledge of armor types and names. If you do not have the knowledge, read along with helmet and chest piece guides. On with the show

I was playing with my fellow bloggers today when I exclaimed "well I think my armor looks the best. It could get more spartinas(shortened name for spartan lady) than a stripper could get dollar bills on a busy night" and Will says"that is an entirely opinionated statement"and you know what he was right. Armor is all about choice and personality, and if you choose an armor that fits you, spartina's will throw themselves upon you, so many in fact that you might break a bone(innuendo, high five!)

I think that the first and most important thing about choosing an armor suit that fits you is color. Color can make or break how people may see you EXAMPLE: your a hardcore player like RKING(personality that may be posting in the future) and you push yourself in many spartinas faces, and like to flaunt your rugged nature. Could you pull that off with an all pink armor suit, I think not. You'd be laughed at faster than people leave TBS when they see Lopez Tonight is on. My advice, just show the colors that show you. There aren't any prejudices on Reach; like Michael Jackson said"It don't matter if your black or white".

The next most noticeable component of your armor is your helmet. There is quite a lot of choice here, 21 sets of helmets, most of which have at least 3 types of customization. Now the question is, do you want a spartina to think "how do I know where you're looking with that black visor on" or "wow, he's got a MJOLNIR Mk. VI, he looks just like Master Chief". Yet again, your choice is all about how you want the ladies to react to how you play. If you are that big man on the field, don;t be afraid to choose a helmet with presence, like the Pilot or E.V.A., but if you're a smaller time guy who is a little shy, remain comfortable in a CQB, Recon, or a Mark V. Personally, I'm all about the Grenadier, it shows ladies that I've got the confidence to have a big helmet, but the intelligence, restraint, and respect to wear a conservative visor.

The last piece of armor I will discuss is the chest piece. It is the second most noticeable thing to helmets, and can make or break your armor suit. There are 15 variants of chest pieces, and there are enough options to show the lady of your choice how tasteful your armor choice is. You can show her how you prepare for things in life by wearing the Tactical/Recon piece, or you can show her you could explode at any minute(innuendo again) by wearing the Assault/ Sapper R. The true question is, do you want a spartina looking at your chest and saying"did he eat a dog, and three mcgangbangs to make his armor look like that"or do you want them saying "that armor has sharper tone than a knife that is made of diamonds and sharpened on Chuck Norris's abs hourly". You make the choice Reacher, but choose, yet again, what reflects your gameplay style. You want the spartina to know whether she's hittin' the lobby with a tiger or a bear, so you better show her which one so she won't bear mace you at inopportune moments.

Armor should be about telling a spartina who you are in a visual sense. Give her a taste of that mcgangbang that is your gaming style by showing the colors and features of your armor. "You can go your own way" as Fleetwood Mac once said, and if you do, spartan ladies will be launched out of t-shirt cannons in your direction, making it appear as if it's raining spartinas. Some might have a chicken little response to this, but if you follow my advice, you should be alright.

Foup

Map Summary - Asylum

2010-11-07T01:05:00.001-04:00

The point of this series is to familiarize everyone with the general layout, weapon placement, and simple strategies for every multiplayer map, so that as you vote for a map in the pre-game lobby you already have a good understanding of what's about to go down. For this first week, we will take a look at the map Asylum.

Asylum will seem very familiar to those of you who played a lot of Halo 2- It is a near-perfect remake of the Halo 2 map Sanctuary. Its popularity in Halo 2 and MLG earned it a spot in Reach. Instead of sticking with the original textures, Bungie designers constructed the remake in Forge, as they did several other maps that came preloaded with the game.

See anything familiar?

  The map used to feature 3 different types of power weapons (sword, sniper, shotgun), but since the latest patch the sword has been removed from the map (Along with the two needlers in the middle- they were replaced with magnums). This leaves 2 snipers and 2 shotguns placed in similar spots on the near-symmetrical map.

Each team has 1 heathpack located in their respective initial spawn structures.

Sniper: As soon as you spawn, look left, and run on the diagonal bridge past the turret gun, and you should see the sniper lying against a column. But watch out- there is a perfect, straight line of sight right down the walkway where the other teams sniper spawns. Often times a new game starts with someone sprinting to the sniper who picks it up, and then gets immediately killed by the sniper across the way. Be careful.
   PRO TIP:  In arena doubles, this opening sniper battle often locks down at least 1 team member and keeps their focus on the other teams sniper. Take advantage of this! If your spawn is the one further away from your sniper, sprint to the other teams sniper base, crouch-jump up the ramp, and get an assassination on the enemy sniper. If you're quick, you can kill him within the first 10-15 seconds of the game while they look for your teammate- they wont know what hit them. Grab their sniper and high-tail it back to your side. Now your dubs team can start the game off 1-0 with 2 snipers. I will upload a video of me doing this in the coming week for you visual learners.

Shotgun:  The 2 shotguns spawn beneath the sniper buildings, in a tunnel. However, on this map, they are pretty underpowered due to the lack of close spaces. Most fighting will occur around the perimeter, and most damage will be DMR based.

Thus, the most powerful weapons you will have here will be your DMR, the sniper, and grenades. Good grenade tosses will get you very far on this map- An expert throw can flush a team out of their base and get them easily picked off my DMR headshots.

What not to do:

Avoid running on the ground over to the enemy base, especially if you know they have a sniper. With the huge sight lines on this map, it is very easy to get picked off.
Do not let the other team pick up your sniper! If a lot of fighting is taking place around your base, make sure the other team does not grab the respawn of your sniper, and it can easily swing the balance of things.
Don't try to hop on top of your sniper base- Bungie has patched this and installed a soft-kill zone if you try to jetpack/hop up there. We all know it was cheap anyway.
I would not recommend using the turret gun. If can be effective at some times, but usually, so long as you are playing against decent players, you will get destroyed. They only have a small range where they are effective, and with the open spaces on this map you will be screwed.

What to do:

Use the multiple walkways to your advantage. Sprinting across them can get you to the other side quicker and put pressure on your enemies. Plus, higher ground is much easier to fire from if your enemies are below.
Get good at using the rocks to jump quickly into the center structure. They can be a good escape if you are on the run, or quick access to a flank if your teammate needs help.
Keep watch on the sniper spawns. I can't stress it enough- A good sniper will absolutely destroy on this map if he/she can hold onto their rifle. Watch your spawn as well as the enemies, because you might be able to grab theirs.
If you're locked down, use the various rocks poking out of the ground to your advantage. It can force the enemy team to come in if they are out of grenades, allowing you to turn the tide of battle.

So there you go! If you have any good Asylum gameplay, or any other tips and tricks that apply to this map, send an email to reachmhtd@gmail.com. Odds are, if it's good enough, it can get featured on the blog!

Will

Doc's Advice #6: The M392 Designated Marksman Rifle

2010-11-06T19:00:00.001-04:00

Greetings, Reachers. Today's topic has been utilized by most likely all Reachers. I am talking about the DMR. The DMR is Halo: Reach's Battle Rifle. It, the Magnum, and the Assault Rifle, are probably the most commonly used weapons in the game. So, I want to familiarize y'all with this weapon.

Its official name is the M392 Designated Marksman Rifle. It is semi-automatic with a magazine size of 15 rounds and a max ammo size of 60 rounds. The accuracy for it is relatively high and the damage per bullet is decent. Basically, it's the in between gun of the Assault Rifle and the Sniper.

So, how do you use it. Here are some basic tips. The DMR is set up so you can kill a Spartan with full shields in MJOLNIR armor with 5 shots, provided the last shot is to the head. Thus, theoretically, you can get 3 kills in a Matchmaking game per magazine. Also, if you are in a one v one battle, strafing is key. You don't want to be standing still allowing an enemy to just keep firing rounds in your head. Also, it has been proven that if you crouch while shooting, the shots are more accurate when shot in rapid fire. What I mean is that when you shoot a DMR, the reticule - the circle that shows where you are aiming - blooms out when a shot is fired then slowly returns to the original size, meaning that the farther the reticule has bloomed out the less accurate the shots. If you crouch while shooting, the reticule does not bloom out as much, meaning more accuracy. So, I believe you should crouch for your first two shots, get a couple of nice, well placed shots in, then proceed to strafe, avoid enemy bullets, and get the kill.

So I say to you all. Have fun using your Designated Marksman Rifle. Use these techniques to improve your gameplay experience and make you better.

Doc's Advice #5: Armor Lock

2010-11-04T19:00:00.000-04:00

Aloha, Reachers. Today's topic is the much debated armor ability - armor lock.

Here's a scenario. You got a guy beat in Team Arena. You got the first DMR shot on him and are going to be able to rack up another kill. All the sudden, enemy uses armor lock. You wait and wait for what seems like forever. In this waiting time, an opposing teammate as noticed this battle and starts shooting you. Just like that, you are dead and the guy in armor lock runs away and gains back his shields.

There are definitely those who hate armor lock. It slows the game - kills take much longer to get if one has to wait for the guy to come out of armor lock to kill him. It is difficult to beat - you can't get to close the armor locker or the EMP blast it gives off will eliminate your shields. It forces attackers to retreat - people can't risk just waiting for the armor lock to wear off because of the dangers of enemy teammates lurking around. Thus, some people say armor lock is a bad addition to the game, even some claiming it is ruining Halo.

However, here's why I like it. It forces more strategy if you are facing an armor locker. It is beatable. No more will a "going in guns blazing" approach be successful. Instead, you have to stay back, throw a couple of well timed grenades. Distance is the key to defeating an armor locker. To be honest, if a guy you have almost killed goes into armor lock, just back away. It's not necessarily retreating, more like restarting strategy. Also, defeating armor lock requires teamwork. Don't be afraid to call for back up or help. If both you and your armor locking opponent have downed shields, get your teammate to come over, help you out, and get the kill to get another team kill. Furthermore, why using armor lock is a good thing, it lessens the power of power weapons. Finally, their is a way to stop an energy sword guy from getting you every time in close combat. Finally, you can turn the tables on a incoming Ghost or survive a rocket launcher. Halo is not all about who controls power weapons as much anymore.

So I say to y'all - armor lock is not the worst thing ever; it has not ruined Reach. Use these strategies to beat it and take advantage of it at other times.

Doc's Advice #4: Day at the Races

2010-11-02T19:00:00.001-04:00

Salvete, Reachers. Today's topic is my personal favorite game type. Yes, I do like battling it out in Team Arena Doubles, capturing the flag in Team Objective, and going solo in Rumble Pit. However, my favorite thing to do is go out with me and a friend into the Multi Team lobby and play me some Rocket Race.

The basic concept of Rocket Race - race in Mongooses with a partner to different areas. Be the first to get to the designated area and score a point for your team. First to 15 wins. Ah, but here's the catch. While one person drives, another is riding. With a Rocket Launcher. With unlimited ammo. And you can't die unless you are off of the Mongoose. Oh boy, it's on!

The chaos that ensues in these games is fantastic. New to Rocket Race in Halo: Reach is a "Rotations Completed" that pops up every time the Mongoose you are riding in does a sideways flip and then says the number of times you "do a barrel roll" (little Star Fox allusion there). I do enjoy it when another team shoots me and I go flying in the air. Who wouldn't love that kind of surreal feeling you get when a vehicle you are driving is catapulted in the air and twists violently. Personal record is 24... would like to hear if anyone has done better.

Even the races to the objective are crazy. You can be driving along. You can see the objective ring straight ahead. You can't be stopped... or can you? Just then - EXPLOSION! There you going spinning away, while another driver claims victory. Rocket Race, while more relaxed than a normal game of Slayer in Reach, has strategy. Whether trying to guess where the ring will pop up next, deciding whether to go for a ring or just wait back, or attempting that perfectly timed, well-placed rocket on an unsuspecting target, games can get intense. My favorite memory was when my team was about to win and was going straight for the ring, but was then hit hard by a rocket. Quick thinking, I jump out of the Mongoose, run into the ring just in time for the win, then immediately splattered, barely eeking out a victory.

So I say to you gamers - take a break from just killing and slaying. Kick back, relax, get a friend, and create mayhem in the explosive frenzy known as Rocket Race.

The "Whenever I Feel Like It" Foup

2010-11-01T19:48:00.000-04:00

Entry #2:Diatribe of a T-bag.
The original topic of this post was going to be how to treat women in a game of Reach i.e. do you let them win? and such, but before I got to writing it, a young man approached me and asked:"Foup, Im interested in how to treat ladies in the game, but what I'm really interested in is T-bagging". I replied in a sarcastic manner:"well thats all anyones interested in right", and then it hit me. T-bagging is all that anyone is interested in in Halo Reach and Reachationships. Sure, many women will try and sugarcoat it, saying that its about the art of conversation, or armor chemistry, but let me tell you something ladies, the only chemistry thats important is the chemistry of:
left stick down+crouch in a face=T-BAG.

Part 2: the art of the T-bag
The equation I have posted above will bring you a successful T-Bag, but do you want to be some run of the mill bagger, or do you want to be the type of bagger spartan ladies remember, the one they ask to kill them in the game just so they can be T-Bagged one more time. If I'm correct, everyone wants to be the bagger I just stated, and therefore, everyone wants to be the type of bagger I already am. So I will share my wisdom in the format of all the different ways you can bring about a successful T-Bagging experience.

#1: The Taunt
This specific T-Bagging move doesn't even have to be about getting the spartan of your dreams, but it could be about impressing her. This move is typically used to degrade an opponent of yours. I don't recommend overusing it, as it becomes useless, but I do recommend using it when someone has really made you mad. Say I'm playing with doc, and doc starts using an aimbot and is yelling into his microphone"ha ha, foup doesn't cheat in halo he' stinks worse than a chicken taco from churches". I build up my anger and kill him valiantly, but there is something missing, there is nothing to top off my glorious drink of success. The taunting t-bag is the perfect solution. It will bring me glory, as I rub my spartan unmentionables in docs helmet and tell him that he stinks worse than a Dobs Toilet Bombing Heart Molester. (look at bottom of the page). To do it, simply go above the opponents face and and press and release your left analog stick, only holding down for 1 to 2 seconds at the most. Remember, it's not about technique, it's about emotion.This move, if done correctly, will not only bring you glory, but lady spartans as well.

#2 Slow and Sweet
Use this for a spartan lady you truly care about. If you are her Romeo, and she is your Juliet...then you will T-Bag her in the face slowly and sweetly. The key to this is to press down on the left analog stick and hold for a full 5 seconds before releasing, then go back down after seconds. If done correctly, you'll have her thinking"he's so sensitive and attentive to my spartan lady needs."

#3Ruthless
If your choosing this one, you care about one thing; getting your T-Bag done speedily and ruthlessly, while leaving the lady completely satisfied. The easiest way to do so is to continuously press and release the left analog stick, never decreasing speed and never letting up. Done succesfully, this will leave you a spartan lady dynamo, and that's quite a reputation. You'll be a Barrack Obama to women, and they'll never get enough of your "politics".

Thats what I have to say about T-bagging, and I believe that the best way to end this blog is with a movie quote:

       
that about does her, wraps her all
up. it was a purt good story, dontcha
think?   Made me laugh to beat the
band.  Parts, anyway....I guess
that's the way the whole durned human
comedy keeps perpetuatin' it-self,
down through the generations, westward
the wagons, across the sands a time
until-- aw, look at me, I'm ramblin'
again.  Wal, uh hope you folks enjoyed
yourselves. Catch ya further on down the trail.

Note: I edited this quote for the betterment of the blog, but comment what movie
this is from, and you get extra credit.

Doc's Advice #3: What Did You Call Me?

2010-10-31T19:00:00.007-04:00

Ciao, Reachers. Today, I want to talk to you about an important and familiar topic. Let's be real here, we have all said it. You get to some point where you are so fed up with someone, so irritated with them, so enraged by their actions that you call them a certain word. Obviously, the word I am referring to is "noob".

We've all done it. Whether it's because the person you are dealing with is annoying, a beginner, or just an all around sucky player (cough cough Foup...), at some point during a Halo game, you have probably called someone a noob. This got me thinking - How did this word come about?

Well, where does one look for information about a topic? Answer - Wikipedia (because Wikipedia is always right). A noob is defined as "a slang term for a novice or newcomer, or somebody inexperienced in any profession or activity". It also has "derogatory connotations," meaning that the word "noob" has evolved into an insult. Often spelled many different ways, like noob, newb, nub, newbie, newbee, or n00b, the origins are disputed.

One thing is for sure, the word has infiltrated popular culture today, especially in the gaming industry. For example, yesterday I was playing some Big Team Slayer with an idea. I counted how many times someone said "noob" and I would not influence them to say it in any way. After an hour, I had counted 11 separate times when the word was used. Obviously, its a common term in Halo.

But why? It could be popular for many reasons. One, it's pretty fun to say. It just rolls of the tongue. That -oob sound is kind of cool sounding. Another, it has got kind of a gamer connotation to it. I have noticed that true gamers like their own lingo. Whether it's "leet," "pwn," or "noob," most gamers like using these words to make them feel unique and special in a class apart from other people. Maybe, it's just not as offensive as some words you could use and thus preferred by some players. Instead of going on a profanity-laced rant about how bad your teammate, opponent, or friend is, you can just sum all of your anger up in one word - "noob."

Nevertheless, I end it like this. Don't fret if you are called a noob. Everybody has at some point. Noob is just a cool word. I like it. My friends like it. You should to. So I say to you Reachers, be a noob.

Movin' On Up

2010-10-31T17:24:00.002-04:00

If you were to reach the max rank right now in game (Lieutenant Colonel Grade 3), you would find that after you fill up your bar, you cannot gain any more credits. Your rank would not go up, and nothing would change, even after completing games/challenges. Well, this is only a temporary thing Bungie is doing with the level "cap", and soon the whole gaming community will have this ceiling taken away.
Lets cover some basics first:

The reason Bungie has this in place is to essentially prevent any secret items/armor/"stuff" from being exposed soon than it should. People illegally boosting through the ranks would have been able to see all of these things way before Bungie expects the population to unlock them. With the cap in place, even if someone boosted, they would only get to Lt. Colonel Grade 3. Also, this gives everyone else in the world the chance to catch up to those super-hardcore players that reached Lt. Colonel in a week.
Bungie released information saying that the vast majority of online players are only in the Warrant Officer stages. This will not effect most of the population.

Buts here's what happening:

Once 117 MILLION Weekly and Daily challenges are completed, the level cap will be bumped up. Instantly, new ranks and armor will be available. And all those people who are at level cap and not getting any cR- your efforts are not in vain. Bungie has tracked all of the credits you have earned and will bump you up to the according level. You may even skip a few levels once this happens depending on how much you have played.

The population almost has completed this feat too! View the graph showing how many more we need on the front page at Bungie's Website

Thanks for reading and remember to "follow" this blog!

Will

No Ceilings.

Doc's Advice #2: The Name Game

2010-10-29T19:00:00.004-04:00

Bonjour, Reachers. Doc here. Today's advice deals with an important part of Halo: the gamertag.

There's an old segment from Family Guy called "What Really Grinds My Gears". In this scene, Peter basically vents about something kind of odd that really gets under his skin, what truly bothers him.

I have one of those pet peeves. You know what really grinds my gears - gamertags with numbers for letters and x's in on places. How many times have y'all seen this scenario? In your game lobby, you see names like "Pr0xSn1p3r" or xXx A5sa5s1n xXx". Oh my gosh, you have no idea how much this bugs me. First off, it does not come off as cool or awesome as some believe. "Oh man, look, my name has Pr0 and five x's in it. That means I'm amazing at this game." Uh, no it doesn't. It means you think you are all that and a bag of chips, but really you just have struggled with thinking of an original name. Honestly, come up with actual words in the dictionary or something. If someone has already taken your favorite name, don't try to compensate by replacing an e with a 3 or adding x's everywhere. It look ridiculous. At least for me, it's kind of fun pronouncing each name as literal as possible over the mic then hearing the responses to poke fun at these p30p13 (see how weird that is). Example - "Uh oh, it's 3 lit 3 x ki 11 er, everyone watch out". They respond "Excuse me, it's Elite Killer, and you better bring it!". I end it with the smart-allicky retort of "Yeah, and you better get a dictionary" then mute 'em. Thus I ensure that I get the last word because, it's simple, the one with the last word wins.

So, I say to y'all. Please no x's or numbers for letters in your gamertag. I realize that I am being kind of mean. I know that their are people who like the numbers and x's. If you like it, you are more than welcome to have your gamertag be that way. It's just not for me, not my fancy. My favorites are the random adjective-noun combos like "Rabid Walrus" or something similar like that. Even names that include your own name or initials are fine with me. For example, my gamertag is "drew is my name". It's simple, semi-unoriginal, but I like it. It gets the point across, it's clever and unique, and I feel like everyone who plays with me has learned something about me. So go on, Reachers. Play the game with a decent name.

How Your Rating is Determined

2010-10-28T18:19:00.005-04:00

Will and Foup team up in for some Arena Team Doubles action. Following the game, Will cheer's"Haha! I went +10 on that one! Suck on that Foup!" as Foup meekly stares at his 891 rating. But how did Foup achieve this 891? Did the Halo Reach gods peer down upon him as he slayed his way through the game? The answer is no. And actually, the system Bungie uses is a lot simpler, and based on easy math.
Hit "read more" below to find out...

Here's how it goes:

Your "raw rating" is the first number generated at the end of the game. The formula Reach uses to create your raw rating is:

raw_rating = (x kills + x assists) - (x deaths/2) -(x betrayals)

Here we see some important things. For one, in terms of gameplay related to score, kills AND assists have the same weight. If Foup and Will played equally in the game, except for Foup getting all kills and Will getting all assists, their ratings would be equal. Secondly, deaths do not have a huge impact on the raw score as they are divided by two. By no means should you choose to die because of the light repercussions, but don't kill yourself if you die a lot (?). And, as they should, betrayals carry a decent amount of weight. In actuality there are other variables attached to (Kills+assists) and (deaths/2), but right now they are simply = to 1. This is so that down the road, if Bungie feels like, say, the death penalty on the raw score is to harsh, they could modify the variable down to .8 or so. But as for now, this is not important.

Here's a slightly meatier formula that is the true determiner of score:

rating = loss_penalty * (1000 + (2000/pi * atan( raw_rating * game_normalization )))

Lets take this step by step:

Loss Penalty: It is "1" if you win. Nothing happens to your score if your team wins the game, it is just multiplied by 1. If your team loses, it is ".96". So yes, your score is technically dropped if your team loses, (4% drop), but in the grand scheme of things this will not hurt your score too much.
Game Normalization: The game normalization value is determined by taking the total number of players on your team, and dividing that by the score your team needs to win the game. For instance, a 2v2 game to 25 would give a value of 2/25. What this does is it encourages you to get the most kills/assists on your team. This value helps out people who are paired up with a partner(s) with a much lesser skill. By having the majority of the kills, your score will not be effected that much. This factor was not in Halo 3, and is gladly accepted in Reach.
That 1000+2000/pi * atan nonsense: That says a few things. For one, the 1000 represents your starting score at the beginning of the match. Secondly, the 2000 represents the maximum possible achievable score in a game (though in reality this is impossible). The pi * atan refers to the ArcTan Curve, or the Inverse of Tan, seen in the picture below.

Precalculus!

What this graph shows is that it is much harder to go from a 1750 to a 1760 than from 1100 to 1110. As your rating gets higher and higher, it take much more effort and skill to get the next point. The same goes for the negative end- the poles, 2000 and 0, would require so many kills/betrayals that it is impossible to achieve it in a matchmaking game. So when your little brother boasts, "Hey bro, I just got a 2390 in a team arena game!", you can call him out with complete certainty.

Thats all for today folks,

Will

Doc's Advice #1: Is Grunt Birthday Party Worth It?

2010-10-27T19:00:00.002-04:00

Hola, boys and girls. Doc here. Today's teaching is on the armor effect "Grunt Birthday Party". Basically, for 200,000 cR's, you can buy an effect that, whenever you die, confetti flies in the air and the shouts of joy of schoolyard children ring throughout the area. A common question comes from this: is it worth it?

Some say it is a pointless addition to the game. What benefit is there from something that only happens if you die? I know some good players who believe why waste 200,000 cR's on something that happens only a few times a game. Plus, they reason that they have to die for it to work, so there's no benefit. Also, some find it annoying. There are those who can't stand the anywhere from 5 to 15 times a game where the sounds of kids yelling "YAY!" is heard in the game. Yes, maybe a bit absurd, but I know a guy who thinks that Grunt Birthday Party was created to annoy good people.

But come on guys, this thing is great. It can brighten anyone's day. Think about it. You are playing Reach. You die. Immediately, negative thoughts enter your mind - this game sucks, it's stupid, that guy's a hacker, I hate this! All the sudden, BAM! Cheers of joy come through your speakers. Confetti comes on the screen and reminds you of that time in your younger years when you were a small child, happy and innocent. Suddenly, your anger goes away.You realize "Wow, dying isn't that bad" and you continue on your way shooting and killing. The point is that Grunt Birthday Party is awesome. It's Bungie's gift to you for spending those numerous hours destroying other people. So go on people, be a kid again. Party on.

The Daily Foup

2010-10-27T17:42:00.003-04:00

Entry#1:
According to incorrect eHarmony commercials, 1 in 5 relationships begin online. While this is some great useless information, you have to wonder how many of those relationships start on Xbox live/ Halo Reach. Regardless on how many have started there so far, I'm here to increase the number of these Halo Relationships, or as I call them Reachationships.

So if you're hunting for some Reach tail, I suggest you start in Rumble Pit because this gives the opposite sex the knowledge that you are ready to rumble. Once a lobby is set up, talk to the crowd, prospect to see if there are any special lady Spartans that seem to be to your taste. If you have found this special woman, check out her armor, and complement her because this can always increase your chances in seeing whats under that helmet. By now the voting process has definitely begun and there are two options in Foup's playbook of love that work quite nicely.

#1 Assert your dominance. Vote what you want and let her know that nothing in this Reachationship is her choice. Your the spartan in this reachationship, and your going to wear the chest piece. If you do take this stance, know that it could backfire, and she could just take you as another gamer who be trash talking her maps. Also, if you do decide to be dominant Spartan, never back down, because you never know when a woman could come and steal the chest piece and wear it for the rest of the game.

#2Vote with her. Sure it could seem like a pussy move, but hey, who said that being nice to a lady spartan couldn't get her helmet off. Being a gentlemen is always a fine choice, but make sure not to be to much of one, cause then your just gay.
The main problem with this choice is that the women may put you in the friend zone forever. You may never get to see whats under her armor, cause' she thinks you respect her.

My advice, go between the two. Be gentlemanly, but don't be afraid to tell that lady spartan whats what. And if you don't follow my advice, who the foup cares.

Good Luck to all the Players,
Foup

Achievement Guide #1

2010-10-26T22:59:00.002-04:00

Though Xbox 360 Achievement points may serve no actual in-game purpose, you know you can't help but grab as many as possible. Whether it's boasting to friends about your gamerscore, or feeling a sense of completion, I'm here to help you "reach" every achievement Reach has to offer. (PUN!)

In the first post of this series, I'll show you a quick and dirty guide to grabbing a possible 190 Achievement Points in just 20 minutes via a little firefight action. Odds are, if you have already spent some time in Reach you already have some of these already, but for the rest of you, you're in for a treat.

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A List of the Achievements you will get: (courtesy of xbox360achievements.org)

1.

	That's A Knife	10
	Performed an Assassination on an enemy.

	Crowd Control	10
	Earned a Killionaire medal in Firefight.

	Score Attack	10
	Scored 15,000 points in Score Attack Firefight Matchmaking.

	Firestarter	10
	Scored 50,000 points in a Firefight game.

	Blaze Of Glory	25
	Scored 200,000 points in a Firefight game.

	Heat In The Pipe	75
	Scored 1,000,000 points in a Firefight game.

	Game, Set, Match	25
	Completed a Firefight set on Legendary without dying.

	Lucky Me	25
	Earned a Triple Kill while Jetpacking in Campaign, Firefight or Matchmaking.

(190 Total Gamerscore possible)

So...Heres how you do it

1. Download the Custom Gametype (1 000 000 Points in 10 Minutes!!!!!!)[ found here ]

2. Start up a firefight game, on legendary, on the map corvette. No need to tinker with the settings, the custom gametype will do that work for you.

3. Once you start, choose the custom loadout with the jetpack.

4. Kill stuff

No, really. You are placed on the map Corvette. You are completely invincible, starting with a fuel rod gun with infinite ammo. You don't need to reload, you have invisibility as well as increased speed and decreased gravity. It will be hard not to kill anything. Work your way through the waves, should take max about 25 minutes. Be sure to get your assassination as well as get a triple kill while jetpacking (should not be hard as your weapons do 300% increased damage). The only tricky part might be the Killionaire, but it can be easily done during the "Bonus Round" part of the Firefight, where an endless stream of elites will spawn in. Just let them clump up, and then go hard in the paint.

Get Murked.

Hola, Reachers.

2010-10-26T21:28:00.000-04:00

Congratulations. You found our blog! This is "Reach Me How to Dougie," your online source for all things Halo: Reach. You need help with how to spend credits and what is worth buying and what is not? I got ya. You need to know different strategies to tackling on challenges or enemies in campaign and matchmaking? Will has got ya. You need romantic advice to help you maintain your relationship with your girl (or guy)? Foup has got ya. So thanks for visiting. Support us in our quest in making sure that everyone "reaches" (it's a pun) their full Halo potential. Thank you.

Site Currently Under Construction

2010-10-26T21:03:00.001-04:00