The Apple

Matt Harvey's Starts Are Increasingly Starting To Remind Me Of The Waterboy

2013-05-17T17:37:00.003-04:00

Harvey (5-0) goes 7 1/3 and drives in the winning run.

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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The Mets Banner I Didn't Get To Bring To Banner Day

2013-05-12T12:42:00.000-04:00

While it was a good move on the Mets part to give the fans what they wanted, moving Banner Day to a Saturday on a holiday weekend made it impossible for me to get out of work commitments and attend what looks to have been a great Banner Day. But I did have a banner designed for the event and had I been able to attend I would have been proudly marching with this:

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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Scott Atchison Using "Old Man" Appearance To Land Endorsement Deals

2013-05-07T07:00:00.000-04:00

"...and just like me, Anacin provides fast relief."

The first time you saw Scott Atchison pitch for the Mets this season you most likely had the same reaction I did.

Is that one of the coaches?

At 37 years old Atchison is hardly an old man, but by MLB standards he is ancient. Combine that with his grey hair and well, you can see the jokes coming a mile away.

Twitter is full of jokes like this one:

“This weather is nothing compared to those freezing nights in the trenches in Germany during WWII.” - Scott Atchison
— Mitch Rapp (@MitchNYM) April 13, 2013

But Atchison may end up having the last laugh. The Mets reliever has found himself inundated with offers from companies looking to cash in on his "vintage" appearance.

"Old people like our product, and Mr. Atchison is someone they can relate to.", says Angela Fontana, a marketing representative at Anacin. "It's a match made in heaven...or maybe Florida."

Anacin was only the first. Atchison has also signed deals with Sanka Coffee, Commodore Computers and the makers of unwrapped hard candy that's been left in a bowl too long.

But how does Atchison feel about being typecast as an old man?

"It's OK by me.", Atchison told The Apple when we caught up with him at a recent bingo tournament in which he was the guest "caller".

"A baseball career only lasts for so many years. You need to cash in on these things while you can. Plus, things aren't getting any cheaper. When I was a kid a hot dog was a nickel. Did you know that a hot dog at Citi Field costs like six dollars? That's a lot of nickels! And don't get me started on how much it costs me to fill up the tank of my Edsel."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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Alex Rodriguez: Possibly Satan

2013-04-22T09:41:00.000-04:00

The hit miniseries on THE HISTORY CHANNEL "THE BIBLE" has received some notoriety with some people thinking that the actor cast as Satan bore a resemblance to President Obama

But when you put Alex Rodriguez right next to Satan, and especially if you to imagine Alex in 30 or more years, do you see it? After all, when healthy, A-ROD does play for the Evil Empire.

Perhaps we all see the evil in people that we choose to see.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow Larry on Twitter @dr4sight.

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Fun With Real Kevin Burkhardt Tweets: Kevin KO's Dinger

2013-04-18T18:44:00.000-04:00

Also, if this game goes to the 11th, I'm going to punch Dinger in the face, just because.
— Kevin Burkhardt (@KBurkhardtSNY) April 17, 2013

Go get him, Kev!

"I just knocked out the Rockies mascot, back to you, Gare!"

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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Boston Marathon Explosions: How You Can Help

2013-04-15T21:19:00.000-04:00

(Photo: Jessica Rinaldi/Reuters)

If you're looking to help out the victims of today's attack in Boston but not sure how to help, here is a post from TakePart.com with some suggestions on how you can help.

Jackie Robinson Day

2013-04-15T09:22:00.000-04:00

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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Mets Look To Capitalize On Good Start By Adding New Promotional Dates

2013-04-10T07:00:00.000-04:00

Let's face it. Mets attendance has been on a down slope for a few years and the current edition of the team - have you noticed a decided lack of outfielders(?) - figures to continue the trend.

Since the club knows that their promotional dates do increase attendance, at least a little, they are scrambling to find more give aways and people to honor.

Here are three new promotions just announced by the team's crack PR department:

APRIL 28th "See Wheeler and D'Arnaud in action day"

No Mets fans, these two highly touted prospects will not be on the Mets at this time and won't be at CitiField even if you will be. But the Las Vegas 51's (no offense but is that really a great name for a team from that city? How about the Rolling Crappers?) have a home game scheduled that afternoon vs Tacoma while the Mets will be finishing up their "game" with Philadelphia on that Sunday afternoon.

Once the 51's' game starts it will be showed in its entirety on the big scoreboard. Actually they'll stop showing the game when D'Arnaud and Wheeler are both removed from the game.

Get your tickets now to see the future stars for the Amazin's.

MONDAY MAY 29th "Jay Horwitz Bobblehead Night"

What do you do when you've bobbleheaded all of your regular players? You move on to the more cuddly people in the front office. At first it was thought that Fred or Jeff Wilpon would be good candidates for a bobblehead night. But the thought of thousands of the torn off heads being tossed onto the field dissuaded the powers that be from going in that direction.

Since no one dislikes the plucky PR director for the team it is expected that the stands might be close to half full when this giveaway takes place.

WEDNESDAY July 3rd "Jason Bay - bygones night"

The Mariners do not play the Mets this season (we demand an investigation into that. The Mets need to play all the doormats more often) but that's no reason to not honor a guy who tried real hard while delivering the team virtually no value over his three cursed seasons as an Amazin.

As part of the pregame program the team planned to retire Jason’s #44 in perpetuity (thinking it was likely jinxed). But that plan has been scuttled given the fact that the current #44, one John Buck, is vying for the National League lead in RBI’s.

The new plan is just to award Bay an Amway franchise on his special evening.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow Larry on Twitter @dr4sight.

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Ben Affleck Returns In Gigli 2: Gee-Lee

2013-04-09T17:25:00.000-04:00

I don't like it any more than you, but it had to be done.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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I'm Gonna Ask You This Only Once: Do You, Or Do You Not, Know About The Byrd?

2013-04-09T15:44:00.000-04:00

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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Say It Isn't So: #CaptainShorts Ditches Shorts In Favor Of Pants, #MetsTwitter Explodes

2013-04-03T22:27:00.000-04:00

In a moment of weakness, our hero Captain Shorts gave in to the cold weather and wore, and it pains me to say this...pants.

Mets Twitter did not react well to this...

@readtheapple Captain Shorts going with a new look today :)

— Mark Simon (@msimonespn) April 4, 2013

@readtheapple Captain Track Pants?

— Clay Davis (@SSClayDavis) April 4, 2013

@readtheapple it was so cold at Citi that #captainshorts became #captainpants tonight!! #mets

— Laura Lapidus (@MetsMom) April 4, 2013

@readtheapple My man dubbed him "Dr. Pants" today. Cause, you know, the pants.

— Kristen H. Sensenig (@KristenSensenig) April 4, 2013

@readtheapple he was wearing pants!I was so confused!

— Sherri Feldman (@FeldFam) April 4, 2013

Captain Sports was wearing pants. What does this mean??!!!??!!!! @readtheapple

— Brian Mastro (@Bstro1018) April 4, 2013

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

David Wright Returns From The Future To Warn Mets Fans Of Impending Doom

2013-04-03T18:29:00.002-04:00

The Mets have won their opener for a truly amazin' 34th time in 52 tries. These victories are typically followed by the traditional overreaction by fans and media. For a few days, Colin Cowgill is surely headed for Cooperstown and Jon Niese is one win closer to his inevitable 28 win season.

Unfortunately, all that excitement was cut short today at the Mets pre-game presser when a mysterious figure materialized out of a glowing orb at Citi Field and immediately called a press conference. The figure turned out to be none other then Mets captain David Wright, but from 7 years in the future.

Wright told reporters that this is a key point in shaping the future of this team and proceeded to explain how things went down in his timeline:

August 2013

Fans turn on newcomer Travis d'Arnaud after slow start. Panicked ownership trades d'Arnaud for draft picks and signs the recently un-retired Jorge Posada. Posada hits .091 for the rest of the season.

March 2014

Rookie standout Zack Wheeler, who's been hanging out with Lindsay Lohan, never shows up for Spring Training. He is never seen again. Lohan is never seen again either so that one kinda cancels out.

May 2014

Matt Harvey disappears. I don't mean he stops producing, he literally disappears. Jay Horwitz get really into magic and during a pre-game clubhouse magic show something goes wrong causing the Mets ace to vanish. The rabbit that replaces him posts a -17 WAR for the rest of '14.

April 2015

R.A. Dickey returns. The Mets bring back Dickey who can no longer throw the knuckleball after a mountain climbing accident but has mastered a new pitch that he throws with his feet. He loses 27 games in 2015 but is a fan favorite...all 6 remaining fans love him.

November 2015

After another losing season and running out of money, desperate Mets ownership announces that Bobby Bonilla will return for 2016 with the help of cybernetic enhancements. By using cheap parts from China, the Bonilla cyborg, code named B0Ni11A, actually ends up not costing much more than the Mets were already paying a non robotic Bonilla.

June 2016

The first place Mets are thriving behind their new star B0Ni11A who is a perfect teammate and clubhouse leader. The project is such a success that the team equips all players with some form of cybernetic enhancement. Human decisions are removed from the team. The Mets have a 41 game lead in the division by August.

August 2016

Disaster strikes. In addition to winning ballgames, the cyborg Mets have been learning at a geometric rate. B0Ni11A becomes self aware at 2:14AM ET on August 29th, 2016. In a panic, Mets ownership tries to pull the plug. B0Ni11A fights back, ordering the rest of the team to launch a devastating attack on the city. Casualties are astronomical...also with the Mets distracted, the Phillies pass them in the standings on the final day.

January 2017

In the aftermath of the attack, High Chancellor Bloomberg banishes the Mets from New York forever. No other city on Earth will have them. The team's only option is a move to Mercury. On the plus side, the move allows the team to resume selling giant sugary sodas at home games.

September 2019

After 2 losing seasons on Mercury, due mostly to the heat, Major League Baseball announces the Mets will be disbanded. Commissioner Beltran cites the astronomical costs involved in sending teams to Mercury for away games. It's a valid point, but most Mets fans simply can't resist blaming Beltran.

May 2020

Without a team, I dedicate myself to inventing time travel and undoing what went wrong with the Mets. I succeed in May of 2020. It's a one way trip and I only get one shot at this. Which brings me to the reason I am here...

When asked what can be done to stop this, Wright replied, "My calculations suggest that this all stems from one trade. If we can stop the Mets from trading R.A. Dickey none of this will happen."

It was promptly pointed out to Wright that he was about 4 months too late to which he replied, "Can anyone give me a ride to a Radio Shack?"

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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It's Time: Mets Opening Day In Pictures

2013-04-02T18:11:00.001-04:00

It's sometimes hard to explain to other people what Opening Day means to us fans. I've tried to capture the experience, from tailgate to pre-game to the post game high five from Captain Shorts in a four minute music video using pictures I took as well as additional photography from Sharon Chapman, Kerel Cooper, Paul Hadsall, Shannon Shark, Alejandra Villa and Laura Lapidus. The track is "It's Time" by Imagine Dragons. Enjoy!

Mets Opening Day 2013 "It's Time" from The Apple on Vimeo. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

It's Time!

2013-04-01T07:01:00.000-04:00

See you guys at the game! Tailgate starts at 10AM!

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

Who Is The Rightful Ruler Of Metsteros: Comparing The New York Mets Ownership to Game Of Thrones

2013-03-31T09:29:00.001-04:00

Last Year's Map Of The Kingdom

I had no intention of bringing up Game of Thrones today but my fellow bloggers started some interesting comparisons between Mets ownership and the HBO mega-hit, which begins it's third season tonight.

Over at Metpolice.com, the Amazon.com bestselling author Shannon Shark believes that the Mets are the Lannisters.

Here, he paints the picture of a team clumsily led by the child king ~~Jeffy~~ Joffrey:

...the kingdom is run by the son of the previous ruler. The new leader is not particularly well liked and some question his leadership abilities. His upbringing has led him to be completely out of touch with the common folk, not that he cares.

Shannon also goes on to draw comparisons between Dickey and Ned Stark, Khal Drogo and Johan and the lovable bastards Jon Snow and Daniel Murphy.

The pick of Joffrey for Wilpon is not necessarily a bad choice, but it's also the easy choice. And while I love the idea of Terry Collins as the lovable half-man who keeps the family together I think there may be better comparisons out there.

Fortunately, Shannon is not your only option for Mets/GOT comparions. Over at The Optimistic Mets Fan, Ceetar shared his thoughts on the topic.

Ceetar proposes that perhaps another family in New York is more Lannister-esque:

It’s easy to want to paint (the Wilpons) as bumbling, whiny child-kings, it certainly fits some of the narrative, but I don’t think Joffrey’s the best fit. If you think about it a little, the whole Lannister clan fits the Steinbrenner family better. Joffrey is a great fit for a younger George Steinbrenner, demanding things because he is king, chopping heads because he’s angry, and throwing hissy fits when the opposition has any success.

Ceetar instead proposes that the Wilpons are more in line with another GOT house:

The Wilpons are probably a better fit for Stannis Baratheon. Basically good, but completely unloved and bitter about that lack. He’s probably the rightful king, but no one really wants to see him on the throne. His actions are guided by a future-seeing witch woman, much like the Wilpons were guided by Bernie Madoff. He suffered a bad blow at the Battle of the Blackwater, but that looks to be behind him now.

This is an interesting take but it forces me to have a mental image of Madoff giving birth to a smoke monster. I thought maybe Omar Minaya is the witch but that image was worse, also in that version Omar rambles on for two hours about how the smoke monster can "hurt you in so many ways".

Personally, I believe the best fit for the Mets COO is none other than Theon Greyjoy.

When you think about it, Greyjoy really is the only true fit for Wilpon:

1) He has daddy issues.
2) He's desperate to prove himself, even if it means doing things that don't make strategic sense.
3) He's not as great as he believes he is.
4) Everyone under his "command" seems to be going along with him under the impression that "he'll tire himself out eventually and then we can all go home".
5) He shouldn't be trusted on a horse with his sister.

OK, maybe the horse/sister thing is a little unfair, but I still think Theon is the best fit. What do you think? Sound of in the comments section or tweet me (@readtheapple), Shannon (@metspolice) or Ceetar (@ceetar) and let us know.

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

Happy Niese-ter Mets Fans!

2013-03-31T07:00:00.000-04:00

New York Mets Tickets

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

The Daniel Murphy Opening Day Singalong: Together We Can Embarrass Our Second Baseman

2013-03-29T18:31:00.000-04:00

If you know me, then you know I love me some good old fashioned nonsense. That's why when my buddy Darren at The 7 Line asked me to help spread the word about singing happy birthday to Daniel Murphy on Opening Day, I jumped at the chance.

Darren's plan is to spread the word through downloadable flyers and serenade the Mets second baseman during his first AB.

For all the details check out Darren's post here.

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

#ShowTheMetsYourDickey Winners!

2013-03-27T22:14:00.000-04:00

I asked you guys to "Show The Mets Your Dickey" and boy did you. So many great pics came in it was hard to pick just three winners. In the end we had an R.A. Dickey lookalike, a devoted fan's collection and one enormous Dickey.

Here are the three winning entries who will each receive a copy of the documentary Knuckleball on DVD courtesy of MPI/Filmbuff.

By Alex Peters @Alex_Peters_

By Pete McNally ~~@petemc1969~~

By DreaOrtado @KillDrea

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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Pre-Opening Day Sale: #CaptainShorts T-Shirts Now Only $15

2013-03-24T20:45:00.000-04:00

Opening Day is just a week away. The Captain is getting ready to return to action and now you can be too. This week only, the remaining stock of Captain Shorts t-shirts will be on sale for only $15 bucks. This includes shipping to anywhere in the lower 48 states. Click here to buy. Act fast though, supplies are extremely limited and once these are gone, they're gone.

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

404 Error

2013-03-22T18:18:00.000-04:00

New York Mets Tickets

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

Show The Mets Your Dickey And Win A Copy Of Knuckleball on DVD!

2013-03-21T08:00:00.000-04:00

Since the Mets traded away R.A. Dickey in the off-season, many fans have accused the team of trying to erase R.A. Dickey from the collective memories of Mets fans for some reason.

While I don't believe it is intentional, the Mets are giving conspiracy theorists fuel for the fire by omitting Dickey from the team's holiday highlight film e-card and then removing the knuckleballer from the team leaders on Mets.com. (According to the site, Jon Niese led the team with 12 wins)

These could clearly be dismissed as minor oversights but on Wednesday, the Mets own Media Director Jay Horwitz sent out this tweet and brought the wrath of #MetsTwitter down on his adorable head.

His nickname is "Sweet Music." He starred at St.John's and is the last Mets pitcher to win 20 games (20-12,1990). He is Frank Viola.
— Jay Horwitz (@Jay_HorwitzPR) March 20, 2013

OK conspiracy theorists, you've got me. Something is clearly rotten in the state of Flushing. The Mets clearly need to be reminded that for a few years in the early 2010's there was a man named R.A. Dickey who pitched awesomely for them. I'm going to need your help doing this but don't worry, you won't be working for free. I'm giving away three copies of the soon to be released DVD Knuckleball from MPI/FilmBuff to the readers who "show the Mets their Dickey" in the most creative ways.

The Contest

To win all you have to do is show the Mets your Dickey. You can send a picture of your jersey collection, write a poem about R.A., tell a story about what R.A. meant to you or anything else. It can be funny, creative, silly or whatever. I'm partial to funny Photoshops myself but if that's not your thing, express yourself any way you like.

Send your entries to readtheapple@gmail.com by 11:59PM ET on March 25th, 2013. On the 26th I'll pick my 3 favorites to win a DVD.

For the record, Jay already admitted he goofed and he and R.A. had some fun with this on Twitter but let's have some fun with this anyway. Just don't be vulgar, profane or mean spirited. This is about having fun and winning a cool prize.

The Prize

Three (3) winners will each receive one (1) copy of the brand new DVD Knuckleball courtesy of MPI/FilmBuff.

The definitive documentary about the impossible-to-hit pitch, the knuckleball!

From acclaimed filmmakers Ricki Stern and Annie Sundberg (The Devil Came on Horseback; Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work) this heartfelt, funny and deeply engaging film delves into the legendary subculture of the knuckleball and the brotherhood of men who share the drive, imagination and humility to throw baseball‘s slowest, most disrespected pitch. Filmed throughout the 2011 season, KNUCKLEBALL follows 37 year-old R.A. Dickey (New York Mets and 2012 All-Star) and 18-year veteran Tim Wakefield, formerly the oldest player in the major leagues and an icon of the Boston Red Sox, detailing their personal and professional triumphs of the season while exploring the bond between them and their only allies, the five living retired knuckleballers - Charlie Hough, Wilbur Wood, Jim Bouton, Tom Candiotti, and Hall of Famer Phil Niekro. KNUCKLEBALL is the story of these extraordinary men, and the sacrifices they made to a pitch that would come to define their lives.

Rules
All entries must be received by 11:59PM ET on March 25th 2013. You must reside within the continental US to win.

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

The Mets Plan Holder Ticket Box: Your Inflated Ticket Price Dollars At Work

2013-03-19T17:19:00.000-04:00

In my home, Spring is not officially here until a package from the Mets arrives. Call me foolish, but one of the reasons I still have a ticket plan is the sentimentality of getting that booklet/box of tickets every March.

This year was extra special because given the fact that the price of my Opening Day tickets ballooned from $36 to $63, I just knew the Mets were going to invest that money into cool stuff to reward their most loyal subscribers. Right?

Read on for a review of the box your tickets come in. Yup, we're really doing this.

One of the first things you'll notice right out of the box (see what I did there?) is the reduced size. This year's box is actually sized to fit the tickets and I find this to be a welcome change. In the past few years, the Mets have sent my tickets in beautiful boxes that were nice to look at, but also enormous. It was great if you needed a place to stash some baseball cards or hide a body, but it was all a bit much. With this smaller sized box I might actually keep the tickets in here all year. I can even leave it on my coffee table so that when I host fancy grown-up dinner parties someone can say "By Jove is that a jersey?" to which I'll reply "Why no, it's actually a box of tickets to a sub-par baseball team." I'll then put my monocle back on and take a sip of my Gin Rickey.

The box plays off the new blue jersey theme. The front looks like a Mets alternate jersey with the number 1 on it. I'm not quite sure why they went with the number 1. To me, this makes me think of Jordany Valdespin, which in turn makes me think of Justin Verlander which in turn makes my crotch hurt. 13 would have looked so much better but I'm probably splitting hairs here.

Inside the box (which has a magnetic clasp), are your tickets and some logos. Note: Despite the logo being there, my All-Star Game tickets did not arrive together with the plan tickets. Those will hopefully come later in a more impressive box which I'm still holding out hope will be hand delivered to me by the Pope.

In years past, the team included a media guide or yearbook or trinket of some kind but those days seem to be gone. At least the colors are correct. Oh and in case you were thinking about it, I did remove the orange padding and look for some cryptic hidden message from Jay Horwitz that would no doubt send me on a quest throughout the city in search of a priceless artifact. There was no such message. I know, right?

Oh, so THAT'S why they used the number one. The back is designed to look like the back of a jersey. This would have been even cooler if they could have personalized it with my last name but I'm sure that would have been tedious and more expensive. Maybe next year, when Opening Day upper deck tickets are $126.

The number 1 here isn't bad. At least this way it reminds you that you are the "#1 Mets Fan". At least I'm hoping that's what it stands for. For all I know these are individually numbered and I'm just the only idiot who signed up for a ticket plan.

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

R.A. Dickey Gets Storybook Ending In New Paperback Release Of "Wherever I Wind Up"

2013-03-18T20:02:00.000-04:00

By now, most Mets fans have already read R.A. Dickey's best-selling memoir, Wherever I Wind Up, in which Dickey chronicles his unique and remarkable path to baseball stardom.

If there was one complaint about the book however, it is that it ended up releasing a year early. Following the books March 2012 release, Dickey would go on to produce a storybook ending that even Disney would probably reject as being a bit too far-fetched.

Fortunately, Dickey has addressed this in the new paperback release of WHEREVER I WIND UP: My Quest for Truth Authenticity and the Perfect Knuckleball from Plume. In an all new chapter titled "Summits", Dickey takes us through the 2012 season, a year that would see him climb the baseball mountaintop as well as an actual mountaintop.

In the new epilogue, Dickey talks about...

...keeping his mind busy while battling altitude sickness on Kilimanjaro:

"I start running through the National League East lineups, batter by batter, trying to figure out how I am going to go after Giancarlo Stanton and Carlos Ruiz and the rest, my own game of fantasy baseball at almost four miles above sea level."

...his fears about releasing his book:

"Am I going to be a pariah in my own clubhouse? Are my teammates going to be repulsed by my brokenness and not want to have anything to do with me?"

...Mike Baxter's no-hitter saving catch:

"He collapses in a heap. The ball is still in his glove. It is one of the great clutch catches I have ever seen."

...pitching in the All-Star Game:

"I end by getting Miguel Cabrera, a man bound for a Triple Crown, to hit into a 6-4-3 double play.I walk off the mound and think: Only God could write this narrative."

...on the fans who showed up to watch him win his 20th game:

"Now they are standing as I walk toward the dugout, pouring so much emotion and affection into me it's almost palpable. I tip my hat but I wish I could do more. I want to remember this moment forever, and I will."

From a purely Mets-centric perspective, the paperback edition provides a fitting conclusion to Dickey's unforgettable career in orange and blue. While Robert Allen Dickey will no doubt continue to write new chapters in Toronto, it is the moments he talks about in this book that will live forever in the hearts of Mets fans everywhere.

The paperback version of WHEREVER I WIND UP: My Quest for Truth, Authenticity and the Perfect Knuckleball (Plume; $17.00) will be available on March 26th, 2013 wherever books are sold. Nook and Kindle versions also available.

Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

Buy My Friend's Book!

2013-03-15T18:35:00.000-04:00

Every year, hundreds of books are written about the New York Mets. Send The Beer Guy by my friend Shannon Shark is one of them! The head honcho over at Metspolice.com has finally made good on his threat of turning the stories he tells us at various bars into an actual book. For only four bucks on Amazon, you too can learn the secrets of the mystery Cardinals baseball and the shocking true origin story of the alias "Shannon Shark".

All joking aside, Send The Beer Guy, or STBG as the cool kids are calling it, provides a refreshingly personal glimpse into the life of a Mets fan. There are aspects of the book that any Mets fan will be able to relate to, even if they didn't grow up idolizing "The Franchise".

So if you're tired of all the countless identical "History of The Mets" books out there, I urge you spend four bucks and download Send The Beer Guy today at Amazon.com.

Even if you hate it, at least it's short.

Disclaimer: Randy Medina is not a literary critic. In fact, he's barely literate. This review is being written under the unspoken agreement of free beer the next time he see's Shannon Shark. If you're stupid enough to take the advice of a guy who Photoshops Sandy Alderson on the toilet, that's your own problem...

...But seriously, buy the book. It's not bad.

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

David Wright Becomes Latest Mets Player To Go For A Drive On The Intercostal Strain

2013-03-15T16:39:00.001-04:00

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.