I’ve made a Thanksgiving turkey in a tiny Philadelphia galley kitchen, a green bean casserole at a log cabin in the Ozarks and mashed potatoes and gravy at several random Las Vegas timeshares and Airbnbs (we took a cab to the grocery store one year). But no matter how terrible the kitchen utensils are, I always make a pumpkin pie, an apple pie and, lately, a pecan pie too.

This Thanksgiving trifecta of dessert pies covers everyone’s bases—especially mine, since I hate pumpkin pie and practically get the apple pie all to myself. What about you? Do you cook (or buy, no shame) a traditional after-turkey-dinner treat, or does your family like something a little more off the beaten path? DoorDash decided to answer this question for families across the nation, and coming up, we have the surprising answers.

Read on to discover which Thanksgiving desserts are tops nationally, as well as state by state, and get ready to dig in.

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How did this report determine the most popular Thanksgiving desserts?

DoorDash looked at orders between Nov. 19 and Nov. 27, 2025, to see just what sweets Americans were hungry for on Thanksgiving. Compiling data from retail, restaurant and grocery-store DoorDash orders, they compared national trends with state data to determine how traditional Thanksgiving desserts like pumpkin, pecan and apple pies fared next to up-and-comers like cake.

What’s the most popular Thanksgiving dessert in each state?

The results are literally all over the map here, with pumpkin pie rubbing shoulders with other dessert giants more commonly seen at your kid’s birthday party. Here’s how the data shook out.

• Alabama: Chocolate cake
• Alaska: Pumpkin pie
• Arizona: Pumpkin pie
• Arkansas: Chocolate cake
• California: Pumpkin pie
• Colorado: Pumpkin pie
• Connecticut: Apple pie
• Delaware: Pound cake
• Florida: Pound cake
• Georgia: Key lime pie
• Hawaii: Pumpkin pie
• Idaho: Pumpkin pie
• Illinois: Cheesecake
• Indiana: Cheesecake
• Iowa: Cheesecake
• Kansas: Pumpkin pie
• Kentucky: Chocolate pie
• Louisiana: Pecan pie
• Maine: Chocolate pie
• Maryland: Pound cake
• Massachusetts: Apple pie
• Michigan: Cheesecake
• Minnesota: Cheesecake
• Mississippi: Chocolate cake
• Missouri: Chocolate cake
• Montana: Pumpkin pie
• Nebraska: Pumpkin pie
• Nevada: Pumpkin pie
• New Hampshire: Chocolate pie
• New Jersey: Pound cake
• New Mexico: Pumpkin pie
• New York: Apple pie
• North Carolina: Vanilla cake
• North Dakota: Chocolate pie
• Ohio: Cheesecake
• Oklahoma: Pecan pie
• Oregon: Pumpkin pie
• Pennsylvania: Pound cake
• Rhode Island: Pound cake
• South Carolina: Vanilla cake
• South Dakota: Chocolate pie
• Tennessee: Pecan pie
• Texas: Pecan pie
• Utah: Cheesecake
• Vermont: Chocolate pie
• Virginia: Vanilla cake
• Washington: Pumpkin pie
• West Virginia: Cheesecake
• Wisconsin: Pumpkin pie
• Wyoming: Chocolate cake

Which Thanksgiving dessert earned the No. 1 spot in the most states?

Traditional Thanksgiving-dessert lovers can rest easy, because pumpkin pie came out on top in 14 states, or more than a quarter (28%) of the country. Other fall-flavored pies scored as well, with pecan pie winning four states and apple pie three. But as you’ll see below, some interesting nontraditional dessert trends appear to be gaining steam.

What dessert upstarts might overtake pumpkin pie next year?

If you’ve ever woken from your post-turkey nap craving chocolate instead of pumpkin pie, you have plenty of company. In the national rankings, chocolate cake was the most-ordered dessert during DoorDash’s Thanksgiving buying period, knocking pumpkin pie all the way down to fourth. Apple pie ranked second, while cheesecake (?) sat comfortably in third.

Could Thanksgiving become a major chocolate-themed holiday? All signs point to yes. In addition to the overwhelming national win, chocolate cake won five individual states. Meanwhile, chocolate pie was tops in six states and made the national list at No. 6 overall.

What regional trends emerged?

Move over, Rust Belt, because you will henceforth be called the Cheesecake Belt. Eight states, from West Virginia and Ohio all the way over to the Midwestern states of Minnesota and Iowa, sat down to cheesecake for Thanksgiving last year. Wisconsin was the lone pumpkin-pie holdout in the entire region, which is a little surprising given its fame as America’s Dairyland.

The West also showed up big for pumpkin pie. Aside from Wisconsin, every state that went for pumpkin pie—13 out of 14—is west of the Mississippi River. Pecan pie stuck to its Southern roots, winning in Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana and Tennessee, while apple pie’s three wins came (appropriately) in New York as well as Massachusetts and Connecticut.

Were there any other big surprises?

Let’s talk about pound cake. This old-fashioned, dense buttery cake turned up as the top dessert choice for Thanksgiving in an astounding six states, more popular than both apple and pecan pie. It also made the top five nationally. If it seems like a strange choice for not only Thanksgiving but just in general, half a dozen states and your grandmother would like a word.

We already talked about chocolate cake, but its birthday-and-wedding partner in crime, vanilla cake, also did surprisingly well in DoorDash’s annual Thanksgiving report. It won three states in the coastal Atlantic region: Virginia, North Carolina and South Carolina.

Finally, Georgia went way out on a limb this year, and that limb belongs to a Key lime tree. The tart, custardy Key lime pie was the No. 1 most popular Thanksgiving dessert in the Peach State—a place where Key limes only grow with some help because they do not fare well in Georgia winters.

Source:

• DoorDash: “Thanksgiving Trends: What America Cooked, Forgot, and Ordered on DoorDash”

TSA: Can You Bring Pumpkin Pie on a Plane?

Thanksgiving Facts to Wow Your Dinner Guests

The Real History of Thanksgiving in America

The post This Is the Most Popular Thanksgiving Dessert in Each State—Did Your Favorite Nab the Top Spot? appeared first on Reader's Digest.

For this episode of The Reader’s Digest Escalator Interview, we caught up with Shalhoub to talk about his new book, We Thought They’d Never Leave: Musings on Food and Family, co-written with his daughter, Josie Adams. Part love letter to family culinary traditions (with 20 original recipes included for good measure) and part personal narrative, the book takes readers inside the Shalhoub family’s famously large gatherings in Wisconsin. “A lot of it is about the family reunion that we have every year, that we’ve had for the last 50-odd years,” Shalhoub tells us. “The numbers have grown to ridiculous size.”

But family stories are just the appetizer. Shalhoub also reveals what he’s currently reading, some of his favorite authors and one hilariously specific thing he’s particular about in real life. And that’s not all he had to share.

Scroll on to watch our exclusive interview with Tony Shalhoub, and shop his recommended reads below!

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Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’ve been sharing our favorite books for over 100 years. We’ve worked with bestselling authors including Susan Orlean, Janet Evanovich and Alex Haley, whose Pulitzer Prize–winning Roots grew out of a project funded by and originally published in the magazine. Through Fiction Favorites (formerly Select Editions and Condensed Books), Reader’s Digest has been publishing anthologies of abridged novels for decades. We’ve worked with some of the biggest names in fiction, including James Patterson, Ruth Ware, Kristin Hannah and more. The Reader’s Digest Book Club, helmed by Books Editor Tracey Neithercott, introduces readers to even more of today’s best fiction by upcoming, bestselling and award-winning authors. For this piece, Leigh Belz Ray interviewed actor and author Tony Shalhoub. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

The RD Escalator Interview with Joe Manganiello

The RD Escalator Interview with Lynn Painter

The RD Escalator Interview with Ke Huy Quan

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Zookeepers at the Ichikawa City Zoo and Botanical Gardens, where Punch was born, hand-reared him from birth, famously giving him a plush orangutan from Ikea that he sweetly cuddled with and toted around his enclosure. It’s been a series of highs and lows ever since. At first, he was rejected and seemingly bullied by the other “mean” monkeys. It was heartbreaking. Then, he was slowly but surely accepted into the fold. (Hooray!)

Now, the zoo is sharing a video that is once again making the internet go wild for Punch the Monkey and his dedicated caregivers. Read on to see the latest footage of the adorable little monkey, and get ready to say, “Awwww.”

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What’s going on with Punch right now?

飼育員撮影、本日のパンチです。

パンチや他の個体の様子は日々変化します。
観察したり交流しながらケアをしたり、
季節や天候にあわせた給餌の調整も。

こうした飼育員の対応があるからこそ、
パンチは元気に暮らしていると思います。
そんな飼育員たちにも応援をお願いします。

#市川市動植物園 https://t.co/5KMyw50Jpn

— 市川市動植物園（公式） (@ichikawa_zoo) November 8, 2026

On Nov. 8, the Ichikawa City Zoo posted a sweet update featuring Punch and another small macaque roughhousing in their enclosure. The duo wrestle and tackle each other, periodically grabbing onto a green rope before a larger macaque climbs up to interrupt their play.

We don’t know who this buzzkill is, but the playful youngsters immediately turn their attention to the interloper before engaging in some mutual grooming. It’s definitely the cutest thing I’ve seen since … the last time Punch took the internet by storm.

What are people saying?

To no one’s surprise, the internet is going wild over the latest Punch update.

Hey, wait a minute—didn’t Punch get a girlfriend recently?

That was the rumor, though a zookeeper declined to confirm this gossip to ABC News. Here’s what happened: Back in April, the Ichikawa City Zoo shared a video that showed Punch and another young monkey cuddling. Fans immediately dubbed the new pal a girlfriend, but the head of the zoo, Takashi Yasunaga, said he was “unsure” if that was what was really going on, stressing that the footage indicated that other monkeys were increasingly warming to Punch.

How is Punch doing overall?

He appears to be living his best monkey life—playing, climbing, grooming and making friends. “Punch’s behavior, along with that of the other monkeys, changes from day to day,” the Ichikawa City Zoo said in the X post. Earlier this year, the zoo reported that it had temporarily removed a few aggressive troop members, but right now, things appear to being going well.

The zoo also gave a shout-out to its staff, who interact with Punch and other animals as they feed and nurture them: “We believe Punch is able to live a healthy, happy life because of the care and attention provided by these zookeepers,” the post reads. So, as you squee over Punch and his new friends, remember who made all this possible: “Please show your support for the keepers too.”

Sources:

• @Ichikawa City Zoo on X
• ABC News: “Zookeeper shares update on Punch the monkey, whether he has a girlfriend”
• ABC News: “Punch the monkey seen cuddling fellow monkey fans dub ‘girlfriend'”
• Ichikawa City Zoo: “Regarding the Names and Introduction of Individual Japanese Macaques”
• The Independent: “‘High-ranking’ monkeys removed from baby Punch’s enclosure after claims of bullying”
• r/punchthemonkey on Reddit: “Update from zoo”

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Monkey Pictures That Will Make You Laugh

Famous Animals That Changed the World

The post We Just Got an Update on Punch the Monkey—And It’s the Best News You’ll Hear All Week appeared first on Reader's Digest.

Well, we’re glad they were thinking they’d donate these items instead of tossing them in the trash! Thrifting has skyrocketed in popularity lately, as shoppers look to save money and prioritize sustainable choices. And with more Baby Boomers downsizing, there’s a surge of well-made, older furniture finding its way into secondhand shops. In fact, people are calling this the Golden Age of Thrifting, and it’s exciting as it sounds—if you do it right. So how can you tell a true find from an old piece that’s simply seen better days? Knowing what to look for can help you spot quality craftsmanship, recognize furniture styles from different eras and avoid overpaying.

To uncover the secrets of buying secondhand furniture, we spoke with Danielle Sandusky, co-owner of Modern Bungalow, an award-winning furniture boutique known for American-made, Amish-built, solid-wood items. You’ll definitely want to read this before your next thrifting expedition!

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Is old furniture really made better than the new stuff?

In many cases, older furniture was built with stronger, more substantial materials and better construction techniques than today’s mass-produced alternatives. There’s a good reason people say “They don’t make ’em like they used to.” However, age alone doesn’t guarantee quality. A well-made modern piece can be just as durable as a vintage one, and some older furniture was never particularly well made to begin with.

One reason older furniture can feel different is the way it was manufactured. Before large-scale industrial production became widespread, many furniture makers relied on skilled craftspeople and hands-on construction methods. Industrialization, of course, dramatically changed things with engineered wood, particleboard, laminates and other lower-cost materials. “Mass-produced furniture is carefully designed to look good in photos and from just one angle,” Sandusky explains. “If you start pulling out drawers and opening doors and it looks different than you expected, it’s because the company likely skimped on materials.”

Fortunately, quality craftsmanship hasn’t disappeared. There are still furniture makers producing solid-wood pieces with traditional joinery and durable construction. The key is learning to recognize those qualities, whether you’re shopping for something decades old or something brand new.

What questions should you ask yourself when looking at an old piece of furniture?

Before falling in love with a thrift-store find, take the time to examine how it was made. Here’s what can tell you more about an item’s quality than its appearance alone.

1. Is it heavy and sturdy?

One of the easiest ways to get an initial sense of an item’s construction is to pick it up or gently test its stability. Solid hardwood furniture generally has some heft, while lightweight construction can indicate the use of thinner materials or hollow components. Sandusky also recommends pushing gently on a corner to see whether the entire piece wobbles. A sturdy dresser, table or cabinet shouldn’t feel like it’s about to come apart when you touch it.

For upholstered furniture, pay attention to the frame. Push down on the back and arms, and check whether they feel solid or hollow. If the frame bows, feels squishy or seems unstable, it may not have strong structural support. Alarm bells should also go off if you notice sagging cushions or wooden corners poking through the fabric.

2. Is it made from solid hardwood?

The type of wood used in a piece of furniture can make a significant difference in its durability. Sandusky recommends familiarizing yourself with the grain patterns of hardwoods such as maple, cherry, oak and walnut. These denser, heavier woods are valued for their strength and appearance.

Look closely at the underside, back and edges of a piece to get a better idea what it’s made from. Can you identify the wood grain? Does the material look consistent throughout, or does it appear to be a thin decorative layer covering another material?

Sandusky suggests paying particular attention to the underside of wooden tables. A surface that is rough, unfinished or splintery may indicate that the maker didn’t put much care into the construction. You can also gently press a fingernail against an inconspicuous area to get a sense of the wood’s density.

3. Are the drawers built with dovetail joints?

Dovetail joints are one of the classic signs of quality furniture construction. These interlocking, wedge-shaped joints connect the sides of a drawer to its front and back, helping hold the pieces together without relying solely on nails or screws.

You’ll typically find dovetail joints at the corners of wooden drawers. They’re worth looking for in older furniture, particularly dressers, desks and cabinets. But don’t stop at the front of the drawer. Sandusky cautions that some manufacturers use dovetail joints only on the front corners to give the appearance of quality construction. Sneaky! So pull the drawer all the way out and inspect the back corners too.

Ideally, the drawer box should also be made from solid wood rather than plywood or another inexpensive material. These details can help distinguish a genuinely well-constructed piece from one designed to look more expensive than it is.

4. Can you find a maker’s mark or label?

A manufacturer’s label, stamp, signature or other identifying mark can offer valuable clues about an item’s age and origin. Check the back, inside the drawers and even the bottom of cabinets for identifying information. A maker’s mark may help you determine who produced the furniture, when it was made and whether it belongs to a recognizable design collection. This can be especially useful when researching pieces from established furniture makers or well-known designers.

However, a missing label doesn’t automatically mean an older piece isn’t valuable. Many older furnishings were never marked, and identifying information can disappear over time. Think of a maker’s mark as a helpful starting point rather than a requirement.

5. What kind of condition is it in?

Even a beautifully constructed piece can become a money pit if it needs extensive repairs. Before purchasing, inspect the furniture carefully, including areas that aren’t immediately visible. Watch out for structural damage, loose joints, water damage, warped wood, significant cracks and evidence of previous repairs. Check that drawers slide properly and cabinet doors open and close without difficulty.

The good news is that not every imperfection is a deal-breaker. Sandusky says surface scratches, worn hardware, sticky drawers and slightly crooked doors are often relatively easy to address. A little cleaning, a touch-up kit or replacement hardware may be all a piece needs. However, she warns shoppers not to underestimate the cost and difficulty of refinishing an entire piece of furniture. Stripping old finishes, repairing damaged wood and applying a new finish can require considerable time, skill and money.

When in doubt, distinguish between cosmetic imperfections and problems that affect the furniture’s structural integrity. The former may be an opportunity, while the latter could turn an inexpensive purchase into an expensive project.

How can you identify old furniture by era?

Recognizing popular furniture styles can help you narrow down when a piece was made and what details to look for. Although styles sometimes overlap, certain materials, silhouettes and decorative elements are closely associated with particular periods.

Here are some of the major furniture eras and the features you might encounter while thrifting—or even find in your grandma’s attic.

• Victorian (1837–1900s): Victorian furniture is often ornate, substantial and decorative, reflecting the period’s taste for elaborate interiors. Look for dark woods, intricate carvings, curved lines, button-tufted upholstery, marble tops and decorative hardware. Popular pieces included elaborate bedroom sets, carved parlor chairs, sideboards, dressers and occasional tables. Not every Victorian piece is especially valuable, but well-preserved examples with distinctive craftsmanship can be worth investigating.
• Arts and Crafts (1880–1920s): A reaction against the ornamentation and mass production associated with industrialization, the Arts and Crafts movement emphasized simplicity and skilled craftsmanship. Furniture often features sturdy oak construction, straight lines, exposed joinery and understated hardware. Mission-style chairs, bookcases, desks, dining tables and sideboards are common examples. 
• Art Nouveau (1890–1910s): Art Nouveau furniture is recognizable for its flowing, organic lines inspired by nature. Think curved silhouettes, asymmetrical designs, floral motifs, vines, leaves and decorative inlays. Some pieces incorporate stained glass, intricate wood carving and unusual hardware. Cabinets, display cases, chairs and dressing tables are among the furniture forms associated with the style.
• Art Deco (1920–1930s): Art Deco brought a more glamorous, streamlined aesthetic to furniture design. Look for geometric patterns, symmetrical shapes, rounded corners, stepped silhouettes, mirrored surfaces and high-gloss finishes. Exotic woods and decorative veneers, including walnut and Macassar ebony, were popular. Waterfall dressers and vanities, club chairs, slipper chairs, cocktail cabinets and sleek bedroom furniture are particularly recognizable examples.
• Mid-century Modern (1945–1970s): Mid-century Modern (or MCM) furniture remains popular today for its clean lines, functional designs and relatively simple silhouettes. Search for details like tapered legs, organic curves, low profiles, streamlined wooden cabinets and a combination of wood, metal and molded materials. Teak, walnut and other warm-toned woods are common. Credenzas, dining sets, lounge chairs, coffee tables and compact bedroom furniture are especially recognizable finds. 

One important distinction: A piece doesn’t have to belong to a famous design era to be worth purchasing. As Sandusky points out, the idea of collectible furniture can sometimes distract shoppers from what matters most when furnishing a home. “Collectible styles imply that you should expect it to grow in value,” she says. “That’s true for very iconic pieces, but for most of our homes, we generally aren’t looking to ‘collect.’ We simply want to furnish our lives.” In other words, don’t overlook a well-made, beautifully designed piece just because you can’t identify its exact era.

How can you get a little extra help with this?

You don’t have to become an antique-furniture expert to make smarter thrift-store purchases. A few digital tools and reference resources can help you identify unfamiliar pieces and decide whether they’re worth a closer look.

• Start with Google Lens. If you spot an unusual dresser, chair or table, take a photo and use Google Lens to search for visually similar pieces. A reverse image search can help you identify a style, discover a potential manufacturer or find useful terms for further research. You can also photograph a maker’s label or stamp to see whether it matches a known furniture brand. Just remember that similar-looking pieces aren’t necessarily authentic originals.
• Look up past sales with WorthPoint. If you suspect you’ve found something particularly interesting, WorthPoint offers a database of historical auction and marketplace sales, along with research tools for identifying makers’ marks and other collectibles. Its more extensive research features require a subscription, but it can be useful for shoppers who regularly visit antique stores, estate sales and thrift shops.
• Browse auction and resale listings. Websites such as eBay, LiveAuctioneers and Chairish can help you find comparable furniture and learn more about particular styles, makers and designs. Pay particular attention to completed or sold listings when available—an asking price isn’t necessarily what someone is willing to pay.
• Consult an antiques or furniture specialist. If a piece has an unusual maker’s mark, distinctive construction or a potentially important design history, consider asking an experienced antiques dealer, furniture restorer or qualified appraiser for help. Bring clear photographs of the front, back, underside, drawers, hardware and any identifying marks. If you’re considering a substantial purchase, an in-person inspection is even better.

Once you’ve determined an item is good quality, how can you determine if it’s a good deal?

A good deal isn’t necessarily the piece with the lowest price tag. Consider the quality of the furniture’s construction, its overall condition, the amount of work it needs and how much comparable pieces are actually selling for. Begin by comparing the asking price with similar items from the same maker, period or style. Look at completed sales rather than relying exclusively on current listings, since sellers can ask for just about anything for a vintage dresser or dining table.

Next, factor in the cost of any repairs or improvements. A sturdy wooden table with a few surface scratches may be an excellent purchase, especially if it only needs a little cleaning or polishing. But a piece with extensive water damage, broken structural joints or a finish that needs to be completely stripped and replaced may cost considerably more than its original price suggests.

Also keep in mind the furniture’s practical value. Will it fit in your home? Does it serve a purpose? Does it fit well with your existing furniture? Is it something you’ll enjoy using for years? A beautifully constructed piece that you’ll actually use may be a better investment in your home than an expensive collectible that doesn’t suit your needs.

And remember that resale value and personal value aren’t always the same thing. Even a piece that isn’t particularly rare or collectible can be worth purchasing if it’s well made, reasonably priced and you absolutely love it. Sandusky’s advice is refreshingly simple: “If it’s well made and makes your heart sing, grab it!”

What else should you keep in mind when thrifting?

Sandusky encourages shoppers to think about the experience of furnishing a home rather than approaching every purchase as an investment. “Don’t buy to flip,” she says. “Buy to make your home feel collected and cozy—full of the work of craftspeople grateful to you for giving their labor a second life.”

That’s perhaps the best part of shopping for secondhand furniture. You’re not just finding something to fill an empty corner. You’re giving a well-made piece another chapter and potentially bringing home something you’ll treasure for years to come.

Sources:

• Danielle Sandusky, co-owner and president of Modern Bungalow; email interview, Nov. 4, 2026 
• The Wood Database: Wood Identification Guide
• Adorno Design: Furniture Styles: A Journey through Every Era, Region, and Aesthetic
• Dutch Home: The History of Furniture Making 
• Laurel Crown Handcrafted Furniture: “The Decline of Fine Furniture Craftsmanship”

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The post 5 Signs Your Thrift-Shop Furniture Find Is Actually Valuable—And a Great Deal appeared first on Reader's Digest.

But now, you’re more likely to reach for your iPhone, which is probably what you’re using to follow the recipe anyway. iPhones have changed the way we cook and bake, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reached for mine to Google something mid-recipe. But what if you didn’t have to search the internet at all?

Good news: You don’t, at least for one particularly common cooking problem—because the answer is right on your phone. Ahead, I’ll tell you about a super handy iPhone feature that I had no idea existed until recently but is guaranteed to make my holiday cooking and yours so much easier.

Read on to learn about this secret iPhone feature, and get baking!

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What secret iPhone feature is a total game changer for holiday cooking?

It’s the Unit Conversion feature in your iPhone’s calculator, and it really helps. Need to know how many grams are in an ounce or how many pints there are in a quart? This little feature can tell you. Does your Nigella Lawson turkey recipe call for liters of brine instead of gallons? Grab your iPhone calculator and make that turkey with confidence.

I cook a lot, but aside from a handful of familiar conversions, like 3 teaspoons = 1 tablespoon, my brain just doesn’t have a lot of room for math-y minutiae. Just the other day, a recipe called for 8 tablespoons of water, and I got out a cup, filled it to the top and counted them out. Another wanted me to add a “dram” of flavoring, which might as well have been in a different language, not to mention from another century.

Little did I know that 8 tablespoons is a half-cup, and a dram is three-quarters of a teaspoon. You know what could have told me this? The Calculator app on my iPhone. If you’ve been using your calculator for years and wondering how on earth you missed this handy feature, it’s only been a thing since iOS 18 launched in 2024. So you haven’t been out of the loop for too long.

How do you use this feature?

It’s easy, and you don’t need to download anything or update to a new version. Just follow these steps.

1. Open the Calculator by searching your home screen or looking in the Utilities folder.
2. Click the Calculator icon in the upper right.
3. Choose “Convert.” You will see two numerical fields, each labeled with a unit of measurement.
4. Select each unit, one at a time, to choose the conversion (for example, ounces to grams).
5. Click the checkmark to get back to the Calculator interface.
6. Select the field you know (such as ounces) and type it in; the Calculator will convert it automatically (in the example above, from 1 ounce to 28.35 grams).

Is there another way to convert measurements in the Calculator?

Yes! The Calculator also features a Math Notes section, which is similar to the regular Notes app but pulls double duty as a conversion calculator. Let’s say you want to make a note to yourself that 1 ounce equals roughly 28 grams. Click the Calculator icon in the upper right again, and this time, select Math Notes.

Give your note a heading, or just hit enter to start typing in the body of the Note. Type whatever you want to remember, such as “1 ounce to grams.” The Calculator will automatically convert it for you, as well as any other conversions you type, and keep a record of them for later.

Does this miracle feature have any limitations?

Yes, and it’s kind of a big one. The Calculator conversion can’t convert weight to volume, which requires knowing the density of the product you’re measuring. In other words, it’s more math than a simple 1-to-1 conversion. So if you’re making bread and the recipe calls for 200 grams of flour, the Calculator converter will not give you the cups.

What it can do is convert weight to weight and volume to volume, as well as other measurements that share the same physical properties. But … you have your phone, right? One way to figure out how many cups of flour you need for that recipe is to use an ingredient-specific conversion chart, such as this one at King Arthur Baking Company.

What else can you do with this app?

Cooking conversions are a tiny sliver of what the Calculator can do. Need to change dollars to pesos for your upcoming trip to Puerto Vallarta? No problem. Running a 10K race and can’t remember how many miles that is? Pull up the Calculator. Other properties it can convert include energy (like calories to kilocalories), temperature (Celsius to Fahrenheit), time (minutes to hours) and tons of others.

Does a similar feature also exist on Androids?

Yes, but because Androids don’t have a single Calculator app like iPhones do, using it will depend on your device. On a Google Pixel, open the Calculator app and select “Unit Conversion.” Samsung Galaxy devices work the same way, but other Android devices may be slightly different. Keep in mind, though, that weight-to-volume limitations exist for both iPhones and Androids.

Sources:

• Apple Support: “Convert units or currency in Calculator on iPhone”
• Google Support: “Use Google Calculator on your Pixel phone”
• Samsung: “Use your Galaxy phone’s Calculator, Calendar, and Clock apps”
• King Arthur Baking Company: “Ingredient weight chart”

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Sadly, my gift-related trauma doesn’t stop there. There was also the $20 spa gift card someone gave me as a “special treat.” As far as I could tell, nothing on that spa’s menu cost $20 (unless you count the cucumber water, and I’m betting that was extra), and I was too broke to cover the difference. So the card lived in my wallet like a tiny, laminated taunt until the spa went out of business, at which point I cried real tears over the $20 I had essentially set on fire.

But the Incident, with a capital I, is the one that still makes my jaw clench. When my husband and I got married, we received a gift in a box that said it was an electric teakettle. We didn’t need a teakettle, so we did the responsible adult thing and returned it, and we were thrilled to walk out with $75 that we promptly spent on stuff we actually needed. Victory! Adulting! Then, a week later, the store called. The box had not contained a teakettle. It had contained a cut-glass Easter basket. Someone had regifted it to us, tucked inside a teakettle box like a Trojan horse of tackiness, and the cut-glass Easter basket, I was informed, was not returnable. So we had to go back and hand the store $75 for the privilege of owning a huge, hideous basket that we then had to figure out what to do with. I am still bitter. (Yes, I’ve already complained about this basket on this very site, and no, time has not healed anything.)

I tell you this so you understand that I come to the question of nonreturnable gifts with a certain amount of lived experience. Because here’s the thing: We are constantly told to be smart shoppers. Start early! Hunt for deals! Stock up in July! But a lot of the best deals come with a catch. It’s final sale … or clearance … or thrifted … or from a charming little shop in another state … or bought so far in advance that the return window slammed shut around Labor Day. 

So is it actually rude to hand someone a gift they can’t swap? I have thoughts. Several. Mostly emotional. Let’s dig in to the actual etiquette of this, my feelings aside.

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The case for giving a gift they can’t return

Let’s start with the defense, because it’s stronger than you’d think.

First, a gift is a gift, not a lease. Somewhere along the way, we started treating the return option like a basic human right, right up there with running water and Wi-Fi. But for most of human history, people just handed each other stuff and the recipient said thank you. The exit ramp is a bonus, not a requirement.

Second, some of the best gifts are inherently nonreturnable. The hand-poured candle from the adorable shop in Vermont. The mug you found at a roadside stand. The sweater you grabbed at a price so low, you may have looked around for the hidden cameras. These gifts say “I saw this and thought of you” in a way that a shrink-wrapped, receipt-stapled whatever never will. Nobody has ever returned a souvenir. (And if they tried, the shop would be in Vermont.)

Third, and I want to be loud about this: Not everyone can afford to pay full price, and a gift giver should never be shamed for that. If the choice is between a clearance-rack scarf you can afford and nothing at all, the scarf is the generous, loving and perfectly polite option. Any etiquette rule that quietly requires you to spend more money isn’t an etiquette rule—it’s a tax. And the bottom line is that frugal is not a four-letter word.

The case against giving a gift they have to keep forever

Now for the prosecution, which is me, holding a cut-glass Easter basket.

A gift is supposed to make someone’s life a little better, not hand them a homework assignment. When you give something that can’t be returned, exchanged or swapped for the right size, you’ve placed a bet with their closet, their kitchen and their storage space, and they’re the ones who pay if you lose. They either keep it (hello, guilt!) or do the legwork of regifting, donating or reselling it, all while worrying you’ll find out. Meanwhile, you’re over here feeling virtuous about your $9 deal.

The sneakiest version of this is the giver who knows the gift is final sale and just crosses their fingers that nobody asks. That’s a game of Receipt Roulette, and the recipient never agreed to play.

It’s also worth remembering that for some people, the ability to return a gift has nothing to do with being picky. A returned gift can turn into groceries, a tank of gas or the thing they actually needed. A final-sale present may not look like a trap from the giver’s side, but it can feel exactly like one from the receiving end.

The gray areas of gifting without a receipt

Welcome to the gray area. Population: all of us. These variables matter—here’s why.

• Where you bought it. That adorable shop in another state is practically a get-out-of-jail-free card. A gift with a story isn’t going back to the store (it’s hours away, and the recipient knows it), and the story is half the present. A Christmas-in-July bargain is a different animal. If you grabbed it in July, the return window closed before the first jingle bell, and the person holding the box is stuck with a deal that was really for you.
• What it is. Big-ticket items don’t cancel out the problem—they raise the stakes. A wrong $15 candle is a shrug. A wrong $300 anything is a Big Feelings situation. Anything with a size, a model number, a shade or a tech spec belongs in the returnable column unless you know they absolutely wanted that exact thing. (Candles, books, ornaments, fancy olive oil: Go forth and embrace the final sale.)
• Who it’s for. The closer you are, the lower the risk. Your best friend will text you a photo and an “Is this a joke??” comment, while your boss will smile and quietly donate it to the office charity raffle. If you can’t predict the reaction, assume the polite, quietly resentful one.
• The occasion. A hostess gift or a “just because” present is basically exempt. My own hostess-gift rules say to keep it small, easy and under $20, which makes it too cheap to be worth returning and too small to be a problem. Birthdays and winter holidays raise the stakes, because that’s where the big, fit-dependent, opinion-heavy gifts live. And weddings? Weddings are the Wild West. See: teakettle.
• The calendar. Holiday return windows are a lot friendlier than they used to be. According to Amazon’s notice to sellers, most items bought on Amazon.com between Nov. 1 and Dec. 31 can be returned through Jan. 31, 2027 (Apple products have to go back by Jan. 15), and Walmart has stretched its window for most items bought between Oct. 1 and Dec. 31 to the same Jan. 31 deadline. That means a gift you grab on Black Friday can stay returnable long after the wrapping paper hits the recycling bin. Check the fine print on your receipt, though, because exceptions are everywhere.

So what about the deal-versus-safety-net question? If you’re torn between a pricier gift that can go back and a cheaper one that can’t, here’s my rule of thumb: For someone whose taste you know in your bones, grab the bargain. For someone whose taste is a mystery to you, pay for the safety net.

What to do if they ask for the receipt

Do you announce “No returns!” when they unwrap it? No. Nobody wants a gift that comes with a legal disclaimer. “Enjoy! All sales final!” is not a sentiment you want written inside a card.

But if the recipient asks whether you have the receipt, you tell the truth, in one sentence, with a smile and an escape hatch: “It was final sale, so it’s yours forever, but if it’s not right, regift it, donate it or sell it. I will not be offended.” Asking for a gift receipt carries the same low-grade dread as getting a Venmo request for a $3 coffee, because suddenly everyone is doing math in front of a friend. Make it easy on them.

The truly rude move is the fib. “Oh, I must have lost it!” turns a bargain into a betrayal. And if you did get a gift receipt, tuck it in the box. That tiny slip of paper is the cheapest kindness in retail.

What to do about thrifted gifts

Thrifted gifts are having a moment, and the numbers suggest we’re a lot more open to receiving them than giving them. In a 2024 YouGov survey, three-quarters of 18- to 24-year-old U.K.-based respondents said they’d be happy to open a secondhand gift on Christmas morning, as would nearly half of people over 55. But when asked whether they’d actually buy a used present for someone else, most said no. A U.S. survey from the resale company thredUP (so take it with a grain of resale-flavored salt) found about two-thirds of Americans were open to receiving secondhand gifts as of 2021. So we’ll happily accept—we’re just squeamish about being the one who hands it over.

My take: Thrifted is fantastic when the secondhand-ness is the point. A vintage fondue pot that you hunted down for your fondue-obsessed friend? Thoughtful. A beautifully made wool coat in their exact size and color, which would cost $400 new? Genius. The rule is to clean it, package it with care, and for the love of all that is holy, make sure it’s not missing pieces or toting bedbug passengers. Used underwear remains, and I say this with experience, a hard no.

Is it really the thought that counts? Yes, but only if there was an actual thought, and not just “Oooh, $4.” I’ve ruled before that bringing store-bought food to a potluck isn’t rude, because showing up with some effort is what counts. Gifts work the same way. The price, the source and the packaging matter far less than whether you were paying attention to the person on the other end.

The verdict

It is not rude to give someone a gift they can’t return. Clearance, thrifted, souvenir, final sale: all perfectly polite, and in many cases, the kindest thing a person on a budget can do. What is rude is the sneaking, the setting of traps and the getting weird about it afterward. So, in the spirit of the season, I give you three commandments:

1. Thou shalt not give a final-sale gift where size, shade or specs matter … unless you know them cold. Hand out the candles. Keep the leather boots on the returnable list.

2. Thou shalt tell the truth about the receipt. One sentence, no fibbing, plenty of grace.

3. Thou shalt not be offended by what happens next. Once it’s theirs, they can keep it, regift it or donate it. Gifts are freely given or they’re not gifts at all.

And if you absolutely must regift a cut-glass Easter basket, I beg you: Label the box honestly.

Have a social situation you can’t stop ruminating on? Email us at advice@tmbi.com, or message Charlotte on Instagram at @CharlotteHiltonAndersen.

Why trust us

Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• YouGov: “Attitudes toward secondhand gifts among Britons”
• ThredUP Newsroom: “U.S. consumer attitudes toward secondhand gifts, 2021”

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Now, before you think I just called you ancient, some people just naturally have joints that crack as they move. My editor, for example, swears she was simply born that way and could never sneak up on her parents as a child, especially when walking down the stairs first thing in the morning. 

So is this crackling OK, or is it a cause for concern? And why does it generally become more pronounced as we age? I spoke with Pamela Mehta, MD, a California-based orthopedic surgeon and sports medicine physician, to find out. Read on to learn the cause of those snaps, crackles and pops, as well as when they’re perfectly normal and when they could be a problem.

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How common is this crackling sound?

Very common! It even has a name: crepitus. (Which is a lot less awful than it sounds, I promise.) Crepitus can occur in virtually any body part with a joint, though it’s most common in the knees, shoulders, neck, ankles and knuckles, according to Dr. Mehta, who runs Resilience Orthopedics in San Jose, California. “You’ll hear it more in the first few movements you make in the morning because your joints feel stiffer after a night of not moving,” she explains. “Once you’re warmed up, this usually quiets down.”

Knee crepitus affects about 41% of the general population, but how often it occurs in other joints hasn’t been well established and isn’t as well researched. But we do know crepitus increases with age, since the lubricating cartilage between bony joints that keeps them moving smoothly (and quietly) wears away. 

“It’s more common as we get older, because cartilage thins over time and your joints are stiffer and less elastic, so there is more for the joint to catch on,” Dr. Mehta says. 

What causes this?

There are several possible reasons your joints sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies in the morning. 

Gas inside your joints

When we experience crepitus during our first movements of the morning, it’s usually because of gas in the synovial fluid. This fluid reduces friction between the bones in our joints.

“It’s often a tiny gas bubble releasing in the fluid that lubricates the joint,” Dr. Mehta says. “You can hear it, and you can sometimes feel it if you place your hand over the joint.”

Hypermobility

When people have extra-flexible joints and a greater range of motion, they might experience more crepitus than others. “Muscle weakness or imbalances can also sometimes play a part,” Dr. Mehta says. “Many people find that the more they build balanced muscles around the joint, the less they notice it.”

Age-related wear and tear

As Dr. Mehta mentioned, the cracking in our joints tends to get more pronounced the older we get because our cartilage wears away and our joints get stiffer. “Arthritis is also more common as you age, and it can make the noise more noticeable,” Dr. Mehta says.

Movement of ligaments or tendons

“A duller click or snap can be a tendon flicking over a bone, especially if it happens at the same point every time during a certain movement,” Dr. Mehta explains. Don’t worry—that kind of snap is usually normal and harmless. Tendons run close to bony points, and at a certain angle, a tendon can catch on the edge and then flick over it. The outside of the hip is common for this, especially when you swing out your leg or get up from a chair.

Osteoarthritis

People who have osteoarthritis are more likely to experience crepitus (including 81% of people with knee arthritis), but the grinding or popping joints does not mean that you already have—or will someday definitely have—arthritis. “A grinding or or gravelly feeling, especially behind the kneecap, can be linked to changes in the cartilage,” Dr. Mehta says. “But it doesn’t always mean something is damaged.” 

Injury

A previous injury to a joint makes it more likely that you’ll have crepitus in that spot. “You’re more likely to notice it in a joint you’ve injured before, such as a knee with a meniscus tear or a shoulder that has dislocated,” Dr. Mehta says.

Is this the same thing as cracking your knuckles?

Basically, yes, says Dr. Mehta. When we crack our knuckles, that satisfying pop we hear and feel is from the release of gas bubbles in the synovial fluid as the joint is stretched. “You’ll notice you can’t crack the same knuckle again right away,” she explains. “The gas needs time to dissolve back into the fluid.”

But the big difference between crepitus and knuckle-cracking is that crepitus is involuntary. Knuckle-cracking is a deliberate action we choose to take.

Is this bad for your joints?

Luckily, those pops and cracks aren’t necessarily bad for your joints, even though they might sound like grinding gears on a manual transmission. Instead of worrying too much about how the joint sounds, pay attention to how the joints feel.

“If it doesn’t hurt, it’s usually nothing to worry about,” Dr. Mehta says. “The noise itself isn’t an issue. But if you feel pain, swelling or stiffness, especially if it’s getting worse over time, see an orthopedic doctor. I’d also want to see you if the joint locks, catches or gives way, or if this is a new thing that came on suddenly or after injury.”

It rarely requires emergency attention, but Dr. Mehta says to get care promptly if a joint becomes very swollen or if you can’t put weight on it after an injury. A hot, swollen joint with a fever, however, needs urgent care.

Is there any way to get prevent this?

You might not be able to rid yourself of crepitus altogether, but it is possible to improve it. As long as those snaps, crackles and pops aren’t associated with any other symptoms, focusing on movement and strengthening your joints and muscles should help. 

“Patients who build up their thigh and hip strength often find their knees feel better, even if the noise doesn’t fully go away,” Dr. Mehta says. “Strong muscles take pressure off the joint.”

You can do this with physical therapy, a strength-training routine in the gym, or bodyweight exercises (like squats and lunges) mixed with moderate cardio. Being at a healthy weight also takes the load off your knees and hips.

Sources:

• Pamela Mehta, MD, board-certified orthopedic surgeon, sports medicine physician and founder of Resilience Orthopedics; email interview, Oct. 23, 2026
• Cleveland Clinic:“Popping Joints: Crepitus and What Causes It”
• British Journal of Sports Medicine: “Noisy knees — knee crepitus prevalence and association with structural pathology: a systematic review and meta-analysis”
• Interdisciplinary Toxicology: “Hyaluronan and synovial joint: function, distribution and healing”

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In an exclusive interview with Reader’s Digest, Brosnahan gave us a peek into how she gets ready for the holidays, as well as the family traditions she looks forward to every year. She also revealed which of her famous on-screen characters she thinks would cause the most chaos at a holiday dinner party. (Spoiler alert: Midge Maisel would definitely keep things interesting.)

But don’t worry, Superman fans: We didn’t forget about Lois Lane! Brosnahan also shared what it’s really like working with David Corenswet and what she hopes is next for her character in Man of Tomorrow, which hits theaters on July 9. And trust us—you’ll definitely want to hear what she has to say. Read to find out that and more.

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This interview took place on Oct. 27, 2026, and has been edited for length and clarity.

Reader’s Digest: You’ve played so many memorable characters, from Midge Maisel to Lois Lane. If you could invite three characters you’ve portrayed to a holiday dinner, who would make the guest list, and who would bring the most drama?

Rachel Brosnahan: Midge Maisel would bring the most drama for sure. She could come. She’d keep us all entertained. I would also invite Lois Lane. I feel like she would be very practical, and she’d make sure that we had everything we needed.  

I play a character named Eve in a film that will likely come out sometime next year called Saturn Return. I would invite her because she’s a deeply soulful person who I feel would bring some kind of conversation starter game and really bring the heart to the gathering.

Reader’s Digest: You’ve partnered with Ferrero Rocher to celebrate the holidays and the brand’s new limited-edition cinnamon spice chocolate squares. What drew you to the collaboration, and how does its message connect with the way that you personally celebrate this festive season?

Rachel Brosnahan: The holidays are made by the people that you spend it with. For me, I love the holidays. It’s my favorite time of year, and it’s such a wonderful opportunity to slow down and just spend quality time with friends and family, with your neighbors. And I feel like it’s the only time we ever get to all slow down together at the same time, and so I’m so grateful for that part of it.

I’ve also been such a fan of Rocher for a long time. My dad used to bring back the trays of pralines from business trips, and they made me feel very fancy. It was a year-round thing in our household, not just for the holidays. But I have such fond memories of that particular flavor, and it’s been really fun to get to try some new ones that I hadn’t tried yet, like the new cinnamon flavors. I love dark chocolate, and it just feels like the holidays in a square.

Reader’s Digest: I love how you talked about bringing the family together. Is there an unforgettable or hilarious moment from a holiday gathering that your family still talks about today?

Rachel Brosnahan: I’ve been celebrating the holidays with my same group of extended family since I was a little kid, and it’s been such a beloved tradition. Thanksgiving is our holiday, so we’ve all grown up together and gone from being children to adults.

Now we’re at a stage where everybody is of drinking age in the family, so we have started a beloved holiday tradition to find the drunkest cousin every Thanksgiving. Whoever ends up the drunkest cousin has to get up at the end of dinner and give a very heartfelt speech. 

Reader’s Digest: We’re so excited to see you return as Lois Lane in Man of Tomorrow. What is one thing about playing her that surprises you, and is there a side of Lois that you’re hoping to explore next?

Rachel Brosnahan: I constantly get surprised when I get introduced, mostly by the fans, to different comics that I hadn’t seen before. I’m kind of a research nerd, and I did a a pretty extensive deep dive ahead of shooting the first film. But every so often, I’ll get tagged in something or DM’d a comic that I hadn’t seen before, and it’s just so fun to see different artists’ interpretations of the character and different adventures that she goes on.

James Gunn, our wonderful writer and director, knows this, but I’m dying for Lois to fight some bad guys and do a little more flying—maybe in the next one.

Reader’s Digest: What is it like working with your co-star David Corenswet, aka Superman? 

Rachel Brosnahan: He is one of the most incisive and smart actors I’ve ever had the privilege of working with. He really sees both the whole picture and also the tiniest detail at the same time, and he’s such a wonderful collaborator. This probably wouldn’t surprise people, but he’s an accent connoisseur. You can hear many different accents in a day coming from David.

Reader’s Digest: For some people, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and Superman are comfort watches. Do you have a favorite comfort watch during Thanksgiving or Christmas? 

Rachel Brosnahan: I love the film Love Actually. We watch it every year. I also love Miracle on 42nd Street. The Holiday is another one! I love all the old holiday movies. We don’t have a physical TV in our apartment, so I miss being able to turn it on and let whatever movie is on play back-to-back for a week straight. It’s one of my favorite parts of the holidays that we’ve lost a bit in the digital age, but maybe we can recreate it in some way this year.

Reader’s Digest: What’s an unpopular holiday opinion that you’re willing to defend, even if it might cause an argument at the dinner table? 

Rachel Brosnahan: I think my unpopular holiday opinion is that you can cancel your attendance to a holiday party last minute. It’s a crazy time for people. People are navigating so many different things, and I feel like people get very sensitive about last-minute cancellations to holiday parties.

Reader’s Digest: If your family and your closest friends were asked to reveal one thing about you that would completely surprise your fans, what do you think they would say?

Rachel Brosnahan: This is not new information, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind because I feel like people keep getting surprised by it. Before I ran around in skirts for a living, I was an athlete, and I was on my high school wrestling team. That remains a fairly surprising fact.

Reader’s Digest: As you head into the new year, what are you most looking forward to?

Rachel Brosnahan: I’m sitting on so many secret updates that I can’t yet share, but I have a number of different projects that will become clearer toward the end of this year and into early next year. I’m also looking forward to the holidays this year as an opportunity to slow down, catch my breath and reconnect with people.

Rapid response with Rachel Brosnahan

Reader’s Digest: Dogs or cats?

Rachel Brosnahan: Dogs.

Reader’s Digest: Mornings or nights?

Rachel Brosnahan: Nights.

Reader’s Digest: What’s your favorite book?

Rachel Brosnahan: Right now, it’s Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking.

Reader’s Digest: What advice would you give to your younger self?

Rachel Brosnahan: Invest in Microsoft.

Reader’s Digest: Would you rather travel to the past or the future?

Rachel Brosnahan: The past.

Reader’s Digest: If you weren’t an actress, what would you be doing?

Rachel Brosnahan: I think I’d be a teacher of some kind for first-graders.

*Editor’s note: Reader’s Digest does not endorse any specific products or services. 

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this interview with Rachel Brosnahan, Reader’s Digest Associate Editor Mariah Thomas tapped her experiences as a celebrity interviewer, writer and editor. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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The post EXCLUSIVE! <i>Superman</i>’s Rachel Brosnahan Reveals Her Family’s Hilarious Thanksgiving Tradition—And What She Hopes Is Next for Lois Lane appeared first on Reader's Digest.

In my wife’s defense, paper towels are pretty similar. Sure, some brands are stronger, thicker or use recycled paper, while others tout their innovative perforation options. But the overall concept—a quick, clean, disposable towel that’s always at the ready—spans brands and price ranges. Of course, there is one easy way to tell paper towels apart: the pattern that’s embossed on the paper.

Why do paper towels even have these patterns? They are pretty, and if you keep your paper towels on the counter, picking based on aesthetics makes sense. As long as they do the job, that is. Ahead, Jerry Ballas, who holds several patents for nonwoven paper innovations and currently serves on the board of directors for Sellars Absorbent Materials, maker of Bravo paper towels, explains what these patterns do and how they evolved.

Read on to learn all the insider info—including whether a specific type of pattern just might be superior to the rest.

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When were paper towels invented?

The first paper towels hit the market more than a century ago. Here’s the story: Back in 1879 Philadelphia, two brothers named Scott started a paper-goods company, soon developing toilet paper on a roll, a major innovation at the time. “They expanded to paper towels around 1910, when they began selling Sani Towels and, eventually, Scott Towels,” Ballas says. (Yep, the same Scott Towels you can still buy today!)

“They advertised the benefits of paper towels for hygiene, convenience, utility—strong when wet, good at wiping and picking up spills—and the fact that they were disposable,” Ballas says. Advertising ultimately became a key strategy for the Scott Paper Company, according to the City University of New York, and it was one of the first American companies to lean hard into marketing and branding.

Were the patterns there from the start?

No, but it didn’t take long for the idea to catch on. “Paper towels began to be embossed in the early 1920s as a quality improvement innovation,” Ballas says. “Embossing increased liquid holding capacity and made the product thicker and softer.”

Unfortunately, embossing also made the towel somewhat weaker, so manufacturers tried to optimize the benefits while minimizing strength loss. “This was at a time when paper towels were a single-ply paper web,” Ballas says. “The embossing pattern was a very tight pattern and not highly aesthetic.”

But as the industry evolved, so did the embossing. “Around the early 1950s, a two-ply paper towel was developed that required embossing and laminating to create a pattern on the paper towel and hold the 2-plies together,” Ballas says.

So why do paper towels have an embossed design on them?

It’s not just for looks … but that is a factor. At its heart, though, embossing is all about function, from how much liquid that unassuming paper towel will hold to how strong it is. Here’s the lowdown, along with some interesting facts about this household staple.

Absorbency

Embossing a pattern on paper towels creates pockets between the two plies of paper, which significantly increases their water-holding capacity, Ballas says. This is done through a high-pressure forming process that raises a pattern above the surface of the paper, giving it a three-dimensional effect and allowing it to absorb more liquid.

Thickness

Raising a pattern on the surface makes the paper towel thicker, which contributes to a softer, squishier feel. But this also adds bulk, which despite sounding great for a towel designed to pick up spills, can cause performance to suffer. That’s because embossing can diminish the wet strength of a paper towel, which is not ideal for a product designed to be used when wet.

Ballas actually helped develop a technology called double re-creping (DRC) to tackle just this issue. The DRC technique creates a textured surface on single-ply towels, improving wet strength and reducing bulk while maintaining a softer, cloth-like feel.

Aesthetic appeal

Not many people want to use a kitchen paper towel that looks like it would also be at home in a gas station bathroom. So, yes, there’s also an aesthetic reason for embossing patterns on paper towels, notes Ballas. Specific patterns also make brands stand out: In a 2012 patent application for a specific embossing technique, Proctor & Gamble cited paper-product patterns as one way for manufacturers to distinguish themselves.

Binding

Embossing under high pressure also keeps the two plies of a two-ply paper towel together. That said, embossing isn’t the only way to do this; plies can also be joined through lamination, which is more like gluing, or the two processes can be combined.

Why are all the designs different?

Besides wanting to stand out from other paper products, manufacturers spend a lot of time and resources figuring out which patterns work best for their particular needs.

“Designs are developed and evaluated in laboratory form to define the overall results,” Ballas says. “In the end, the paper manufacturer makes the decision on the pattern chosen based on the overall benefits the pattern will deliver.”

What about toilet paper patterns?

The manufacturing techniques and scientific findings regarding TP’s patterns are pretty similar to those of paper towels. There’s one big difference, though: wet strength. Toilet paper is designed to break up quickly after use so it doesn’t clog your toilet or stick around in city wastewater-treatment facilities or your septic system.

Which pattern is the most effective?

It’s hard to definitively say which pattern is best. One study in Polymers found that micropatterns (smaller, denser patterns like dots) created more bulk and that more pronounced embossing reduced wet strength slightly. But researchers say the strength reduction was within the standard deviation. Translation: It was minimal.

Ballas says a quality paper towel comes down to a few things: strength when wet, liquid capacity and a low-lint, towel-like softness that wipes dry. But it’s hard to tell these things without trying them out.

So in the end, it mostly boils down to personal preference and experience. When I steer my cart toward my favorite paper towels, it’s because I like them enough to buy them again and again. They pick up spills, they don’t disintegrate in my hands and they don’t cost an arm and a leg. In other words, I have brand loyalty, which is something companies spend a lot of money cultivating.

Sources:

• Jerry Ballas, nonwoven-paper-industry executive and Sellars Absorbent Materials board member; email interview; Nov. 4, 2026
• Google Patents: “Paper-towel”
• Guardian: “Hand dryers v paper towels: the surprisingly dirty fight for the right to dry your hands”
• NIST: “Circular of the Bureau of Standards no. 407: Standards for paper towels”
• CUNY: “History and Evolution of Scott Tissue”
• Cellulose: “Characterization of absorbency properties on tissue paper materials with and without ‘deco’ and ‘micro’ embossing patterns”
• Materials: “Embossing Pressure Effect on Mechanical and Softness Properties of Industrial Base Tissue Papers with Finite Element Method Validation”
• Bioresources: “Converting operations impact on tissue paper product properties – A Review”
• Justia Patents: “Absorbent Paper Product Having Source Identifying Emboss Element”
• Polymers: “Embossing Lines and Dots Geometry Effect on the Key Tissue Paper Properties with Finite Element Method Analysis”

Here’s Why Your Oven Door Has Tiny Dots on It

Why Towels Have Woven Strips on the Ends

Debate: Hand Dryers or Paper Towels?

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For the fitness enthusiast who loves tracking their progress, the HumeHealth Pod 2.0 is the perfect gift. It uses weekly body composition scans to track over 45 metrics—including fat, muscle and water.

We love that it helps users monitor changes over time, celebrate wins and better understand how to tailor their everyday habits as they work toward their fitness goals. To get started, simply step on the Pod and hold the handles. In less than a minute, Hume AI analyzes your results and sends them straight to your phone.

The Hume Pod 2.0 is currently 35% off. Plus, for a limited time, Reader’s Digest readers can take an extra 10% off with code LAUNCH10.

For the home gym minimalist

SelectTech 840 Adjustable Kettlebell

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One kettlebell is a lot easier to store (and wrap!) than six. The Bowflex SelectTech 840 adjustable kettlebell replaces six traditional kettlebells with one compact design. With one simple dial, users can switch between 8 and 40 pounds depending on the exercise—or as their strength improves.

It’s versatile enough to share with a workout buddy, easy to store between sessions and comes with access to on-demand workouts in the JRNY app, making it one swinging good gift.

For the Pilates Lover

Bala Bangles

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After making a splash on Shark Tank, these trendy weights have become a social media favorite—and a fun gift for anyone looking to add a little more challenge to their fitness routine. Bala Bangles add light, continuous resistance to Pilates, barre, yoga and even everyday walks, with an adjustable fit that lets you wear them on your wrists or ankles.

Available in 1-, 2-and 3-pound options, they’re easy to wear, pack and take on the go, and they come with a color-matched carrying case. They’re a stylish way to add a little extra resistance to everyday movement.

for the one who prioritizes recovery

Theragun Prime

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For the gym-goer who knows recovery is just as important as the workout, the Theragun Prime is sure to be at the top of their wish list. This handheld massage gun delivers deep percussive massage to help ease muscle tension and soreness, with five speed settings and two attachments for targeting different areas.

We especially love that its companion app offers personalized recovery guidance, making it easier to work massage into their warm-up or post-workout routine.

For the smoothie lover

NutriBullet Personal Blender

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Whether they’re blending post-workout protein shakes or breakfast smoothies, the NutriBullet personal blender makes a great gift for anyone with a busy routine. It blends drinks in under a minute and comes with a 24-ounce blending cup and handheld tumbler that fits standard car cupholders, making it easy to blend, sip and take on the go.

As someone who owns and uses this blender daily, I appreciate how compact and convenient it is. It has a permanent spot on my countertop, ready to go, so I don’t have to lug out my larger blender from a bottom cabinet. And since you blend directly into the cup, cleanup is simple, too!

For the HIIT Enthusiast

Cordless Battle Ropes

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Bring the energy of a fitness class home with these cordless battle ropes. Their compact, portable design makes them ideal for home gyms with limited space, while the weighted handles deliver a challenging workout without bulky ropes or anchor points.

Whether the recipient is squeezing in a quick session at home or taking their workout outdoors, these ropes offer a fun way to get moving. They’re versatile enough for HIIT, cardio or strength training, engaging the arms, shoulders, chest, back and legs.

for the performance optimizer

Thorne Creatine Powder

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For anyone looking to get more out of their training or workouts, creatine powder makes a thoughtful addition to their supplement routine. Thorne creatine powder is NSF Certified for Sport (a certification that verifies products are tested for accuracy and safety) and can help support muscle strength, power and performance during high-intensity exercise.

With 90 servings per container, it’s a practical way to help them kick-start their fitness goals and keep their routine fueled for the long haul.

for the hydration goal-setter

WaterH Boost Smart Water Bottle

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Help someone make hydration a daily (and fun) habit with the WaterH Boost smart water bottle. Available in 24- and 32-ounce sizes and a range of colors, it uses Bluetooth technology to track water intake and offers gentle reminders with a glowing halo light on the lid. The insulated, leak-proof stainless steel bottle keeps beverages cold, and a rechargeable battery lasts up to two weeks per charge.

I use a similar smart water bottle and have found it genuinely helps me drink more water throughout the day (and realize just how little I was drinking before!). The glowing reminder light is also a conversation starter—I’ve had plenty of people ask about it and where they can get one.

For the endurance athlete

LMNT Electrolyte Powder Packets

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Whether they’re hitting the trails or powering through spin class, LMNT electrolyte powder packets are an essential (and flavorful) gift for anyone working up a sweat. They provide sodium, potassium and magnesium to help replenish electrolytes lost through sweat, which can be especially helpful during long workouts or in hot weather. The variety pack offers several flavors to sample, so they can discover a new favorite.

For the power walker

Weighted Vest

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Weighted vests are still having their moment—and for good reason. The Zelus weighted vest adds resistance to everyday walks and workouts, helping fitness fans make familiar routines feel more challenging. It’s especially appealing for walkers and hikers looking to take their usual routes up a notch.

Available in seven weight options, from 6 to 30 pounds, it suits a range of fitness levels and goals. Reflective safety strips and adjustable straps make it a practical pick for outdoor adventures, too.

for the work-from-home warrior

Under Desk Treadmill

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Sitting at a desk all day can make it tough to hit your step goal. But not anymore. The Vhorilix walking pad treadmill lets you multitask your way to more steps by walking between meetings, during calls or while answering emails.

Its slim, compact design fits under a standing desk and slides under furniture when not in use, making it a practical pick for home offices and smaller spaces. With a remote control for adjusting speed and a display that tracks time, distance and calories, this walking pad turns desk time into an opportunity to move.

For the Booty Builder

Booty Bands Set

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These resistance bands add an extra challenge to squats, lunges and glute bridges without taking up space in a home gym. Their anti-slip design helps keep them comfortably in place during workouts, and this set includes three resistance levels—light, medium and heavy—to keep things challenging as their strength improves. They also come with a carrying bag for easy transport on the go.

I use these bands myself and prefer them to the traditional latex bands. Not only are they more comfortable and stay in place during movement, but they also seem to hold up better over time. I can attest they’d make a great stocking stuffer!

for the runner who goes the distance

Apple AirTags

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For runners who prefer heading out solo, the Apple AirTag makes a thoughtful gift for runners—and one that offers loved ones extra peace of mind. Tucked into a pocket or running belt, it can help friends and family locate the runner using the Find My app on an iPhone. Though it’s a small gift, you can’t put a price on safety!

This four-pack makes it easy to keep track of other essentials, too, like a gym bag, keys or luggage.

For the weight-room regular

Workout Gloves

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Designed to reduce friction and protect against calluses, these lightweight, breathable workout gloves from Atercel offer a snug fit and grippy palm for lifting. As a handy addition to any gym bag, they’re useful for lifting weights, using machines or tackling a new strength-training routine.

Available in five sizes and several colors, they’re a popular pick with more than 47,000 Amazon reviews and a 4.5-star rating. We think this is a gift they’ll be keeping!

For the workout commuter

Gym Bag with Shoe Compartment

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Whether they’re heading straight from the office to the gym or squeezing in a workout before work, the Fitgriff gym bag makes it easy to bring their essentials.

Available in 11 colors and two sizes, this unisex bag has plenty of room for the essentials without feeling bulky. We love that it features a separate ventilated shoe compartment and a waterproof wet pocket to keep sneakers and sweaty clothes separate from the rest of their belongings.

for the trendsetter

Vuori Arden Water Bottle and Holder

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For the trendsetter who likes their accessories to be as fashionable as they are functional, the Vuori Arden water bottle and holder is a chic way to stay hydrated—and hands-free—on the go. Its compact design includes a 450 mL stainless steel water bottle, a secure zippered opening, an adjustable crossbody strap and a hidden card pocket, making it perfect for walks, errands or heading to a yoga or Pilates class.

Available in two colors, classic Black or Bone, you can gift one to someone special and snag the other for yourself!

For the yogi

Personalized Yoga Mat

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Make their next yoga session feel a little more personal with this custom yoga mat. Choose from 23 backgrounds and two fonts to create a design that feels uniquely theirs.

The multi-layer construction features a cushioned surface and an anti-slip rubber base to help keep the mat steady through poses and stretches. At 68.1 by 22.8 inches, it offers plenty of room to move while adding a thoughtful, personalized touch to their yoga practice.

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That’s why we’re sharing true stories of the sneakiest scams that tricked people—and could lure you in too if you don’t know what to look for. We’ll tell you what happened, highlight the red flags they missed and note the steps you can take to protect yourself in a similar situation.

Read on for the real-life scams that seem surprisingly legit, plus how to spot them before you become a cautionary tale for someone else.

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Voice-cloning scam

The fake-out

It was a sultry July day in 2025, and Christine, 86, was enjoying the air conditioning in her Philadelphia home, surrounded by photographs of her loved ones. When the phone rang, displaying a number she didn’t recognize, she answered and heard a sound no grandparent should ever be subjected to: her granddaughter’s sobs.

“What’s the matter, hon?” Christine asked. Her anguished “granddaughter,” according to NBC10, replied that she’d been injured in a car crash and was being detained by police. Before Christine could fully process the horrifying news, a new speaker joined the conversation, introducing himself as “John,” her granddaughter’s lawyer. He said he needed $10,400 to get her granddaughter out of jail. Christine said she only had $6,000 on hand in cash. That would have to do, said John. He told her he would send a car over immediately to pick it up, then kept her on the phone while another man arrived a little later for the money.

Minutes after that man left with the cash in hand, Christine’s grandson, who lives next door, showed up at her house. That’s when she learned the good news: Her granddaughter was, in fact, fine. She also learned some bad news: She had just become another victim of AI-assisted voice cloning.

How to spot it

Not so long ago, it was easier to spot scammers by their voices. If they sounded like impostors or recordings, you could simply hang up the phone and go about your day. Not anymore. With just a few recorded words, scammers can use AI to replicate someone’s voice and convince even family members that a loved one is in danger. The process is called voice cloning, and it’s frighteningly simple. As Christine’s granddaughter told NBC10, “It’s not hard to find something of my voice. I’m on social media.”

To protect against this, NBC recommends that you choose a security word with your family or that you ask whomever you’re talking to a question that “only a family member would know the answer to.” If that person doesn’t respond correctly, you might be talking to someone else.

If the voice on the line tells you to go buy an app or a gift card or wants payment in cryptocurrency, hang up immediately. Scammers are partial to crypto because transactions are quick, irreversible and lack the built-in protections offered by banks.

You can protect your own identity by staying quiet whenever taking suspicious or unsolicited phone calls. Don’t bother saying “Hello” (which confirms your number as active). And don’t ask to be removed from call lists, as even 10 seconds of audio may be all that the scammers need to con your family.

Stolen-valor scam

The fake-out

In an era of disinformation, stolen valor is a particularly odious scam. It’s what happens when someone lies about or misrepresents their military service to garner respect or other benefits reserved for actual heroes. Just last year, MPR News reported that a Minnesota man had been convicted of passing himself off as a wounded Marine and prisoner of war to garner over $100,000 in benefits from the Department of Veterans Affairs.

Stolen valor is not new. Among the most famous cases is one involving Jackie Stern, who wove a web of lies that began soon after he moved to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, from the New York City area in 1989. His former neighbor Alberto Lopez told the Tampa Bay Times that Stern let everyone know he’d been a Purple Heart recipient and a POW during the Korean conflict. “Out of respect for the guy, you let him talk,” said Lopez.

Stern spun his yarns and eventually greeted veterans returning home from the Gulf War in 1991 while wearing the Congressional Medal of Honor, the highest military decoration awarded by the United States. Stern claimed he’d received it for heroism. In reality, the award had been an unauthorized medal that Stern had purchased for $500 at a military memorabilia show in New Jersey, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

Stern’s lies knew no bounds. He even bragged to Broward County detectives that he’d been a New York City police detective, although he was actually a truck driver. That may have been his undoing. Detective Sgt. Daniel Ciacciarelli received a tip about a Medal of Honor stolen from the New York City area around the time Stern had arrived in Florida. Having always thought Stern was a bit of a blowhard, he checked with the Congressional Medal of Honor Society and learned there was no record of Stern receiving the honor. The detective concocted a plan. He tricked Stern into coming down to the station to pose for photographs with the medal, where he was arrested by a waiting FBI agent. It turned out that Stern, although he had served in the military, had never seen a day of combat.

For wearing an unearned military decoration and illegally modifying his official record with the Army, Stern was fined $250 and sentenced to a year on probation and 250 hours of community service at a Veterans Administration hospital. He also had to print an apology in his local newspaper for Memorial Day and—most creatively—write letters of apology to all 171 living Medal of Honor recipients at the time.

Stern admitted to the court that his goal was “personal and selfish,” reported the Orlando Sentinel, and added that he had wanted his children “to believe their father was a hero.”

How to spot it

According to USAMM.com, a veteran-owned retailer specializing in military medals and gear, indicators that point toward unearned medals include errors on the fraudster’s uniform, stories that don’t add up, over-the-top tales and a lack of knowledge of basic military jargon.

The National Archives cautions that lying about one’s military service is not necessarily illegal. It’s only a crime if someone lies about receiving certain medals to “obtain money, property or some other tangible benefit.” However, attempting to support these lies through forged documents, as Stern did, will likely violate separate laws.

Vacation scam

The fake-out

Santiago Machado could not believe what he was hearing: a weeklong stay at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic, for him and his extended family, for only $6,000—flights and three rooms included.

Machado, from South Florida, might have declined such telephone offers in the past, but this one sounded genuine. His friend enjoyed a Hard Rock membership, he told NBC Miami. Perhaps he had recommended Machado? The idea of a group vacation also hooked him. His mother in Cuba had never boarded an airplane before. What a nice surprise this would make!

Machado shared the news with his family and friends. Shortly after, they, too, were sending money and passport information to so-called representatives of the hotel. They were all set to go. But when some of Machado’s friends tried to change their arrival times, they found that no one at the hotel or the airline had any record of their reservations.

Outraged, Machado tried contacting the people who had sold him the package. But when he finally got through, “they were laughing,” he said.

Machado was out the $6,000. But there was also a new risk of identity theft since their personal information, passports and pictures had been shared as well. If that wasn’t enough, he now had to tell his mother and other family members in Cuba that the vacation was off. “[They all] cried when we told them … that it was all a scam and that we had lost the money,” Machado told Telemundo 51.

How to spot it

Machado’s first mistake was being too trusting. As the saying goes, if it looks too good to be true, chances are it is. In this case, looking online reveals that three rooms for three days at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Punta Cana alone—without airfare—could run close to $6,000. Aside from an oddly cheap price, any typos or peculiar word choices in your exchanges with the “owners” should also make you think twice. Legit operations tend to know how to spell.

Before you put down a deposit, Navy Federal Credit Union suggests you make sure the hotel or vacation rental actually exists. You can do that by looking it up using Google Maps Street View and checking whether the property matches the picture in the listing, and by calling the front desk to verify the information if it’s a resort or hotel.

And never pay for a vacation rental by wire transfer, prepaid card, gift cards or apps like Venmo, as these payment methods aren’t easily reversible. Instead, Better Business Bureau spokesperson Cinthya Lavin told NBC Miami, pay with a credit card, which offers some protections.

Tech-support scam

The fake-out

Jeanette Voss, a retiree in Vermont, had her 2021 Memorial Day Weekend all planned out. And part of it would be spent watching a movie on her laptop. However, halfway into the film, a “screaming noise” blared from her computer, and then a pop-up filled the screen. The message was clear enough, she told AARP: “Call Microsoft. Call Microsoft.”

Voss picked up her phone and called the number on the screen, assuming she’d be connected to a Microsoft specialist. After getting the noise to stop, the “specialist” passed Voss on to more specialists, one supposedly from her financial institution. Yet another came on and told her, “We can see where you made a gambling bet of $213,000.”

“I most certainly did not,” she replied. She then heard those words that you never want to hear in the same sentence: hackers and Social Security number. Voss’s movie night was ruined.

The man explained they would need to transfer all her assets into a “secure digital wallet” for safekeeping, she told Seven Days, a Vermont newspaper. In the meantime, the man warned, “trust no one.” Jeanette agreed, and over the next six months she spoke repeatedly to two men, using a prepaid cellphone because hers was “compromised.”

All of Voss’s assets, including retirement savings and stocks that she had carefully managed for years, were moved with her assistance into online accounts and cryptocurrency wallets that totaled nearly $950,000. And then the conversations ended and the money was gone.The loss was life-changing, forcing Voss to completely alter her spending habits. All she had to live on were her monthly Social Security checks, which were barely enough to make ends meet. She cut back on groceries, unplugged devices when she wasn’t using them and had to miss a funeral because of travel costs. She became isolated, spending her days just with the birds and squirrels outside her door. Her life, she told Seven Days, was one of “unrelenting stress.”

But then, a miracle. Four and a half years later, in December 2025, Voss found out that Secret Service agents had traced her funds to a cryptocurrency account associated with a man involved in an international scam ring, Vermont Public Radio reported: “After seizing the crypto wallet, government officials sold the tokens in order to compensate Voss.” It was a rare victory for the good guys against the dark web. To celebrate, Voss bought groceries for herself, and for the birds and squirrels that “kept me sane.”

How to spot it

The fake alert that so alarmed Voss was likely accidentally downloaded days or even weeks earlier when she clicked on an ad in, say, Facebook, Doug Shadel, a fraud expert, told Seven Days. When “this pop-up occurs with a phone number to call and sirens going off, you call the number because you’re panicked,” he explained. If this should happen to you, Microsoft says to immediately close your browser. If it won’t close, restart your computer.

Still unnerved? Keep in mind that tech companies like Microsoft usually direct users to official websites and support pages, never to phone numbers provided in pop-up windows. Also, no major computer company will ever request that you pay them via cryptocurrency or gift cards.

And always remember: While there are some wonderful things about the internet (funny beagle videos, obviously!), there are also questionable characters lurking about waiting for you to inadvertently hit the wrong link. So be skeptical if someone asks for personal information or offers you a deal that’s too good to be true. It probably is.

Why trust us

Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of articles on personal technology, arming readers with the knowledge to protect themselves against cybersecurity threats and internet scams as well as revealing the best tips, tricks and shortcuts for computers, cellphones, apps, texting, social media and more. We rely on credentialed experts with personal experience and know-how as well as primary sources including tech companies, professional organizations and academic institutions. We verify all facts and data and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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I swear, it’s not just my imagination—or my brain doing overtime to make me feel better about my lack of motivation. In fact, I got corroboration from Helen Rennie, the owner of Helen’s Kitchen Cooking School and the author of the forthcoming cookbook The Science of Dinner, who said there’s a definite culinary benefit to letting that soup sit. Translation: Make a big batch, eat it for days and don’t feel one bit guilty about it.

Read on to find out why she says this dinnertime staple is best eaten after it spends some time in the fridge.

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Which fall comfort food actually tastes better the next day?

Soup! There are a few reasons why this happens, but a big part of it involves the role of smell and how you experience taste because of it. Research shows that between 75% and 95% of what we think of as taste actually comes from our sense of smell. Um, OK, but what does this have to do with leftover soup? “Sometimes it’s not the soup that’s different the next day but how your brain registers the smell,” Rennie says.

Let’s say you’re in the kitchen while your soup is simmering away, and your nose is picking up on the delicious aromas the entire time. “The problem is that you get acclimated to them,” Rennie explains. “Our brains are built to notice the difference in smell, not just the presence of smell. When you reheat the soup the next day, your sense of smell is reset, and all the aromas in your soup are new and exciting to your nose and brain again.” The result, in many cases, is that the flavors taste bigger and bolder than they did the first time.

But that’s not all: The ingredients you put into the soup interact with one another and evolve over time. When you make something savory (like most soups), the two tastes that most impact the flavor are salt and acidity. “If your soup will be pureed, the salt will be evenly distributed,” Rennie says. “But if your soup is chunky, the salt will need time to absorb into your ingredients. As the soup rests, salt and acid can redistribute between the broth and the solid ingredients, changing how each component tastes.”

In other words, letting your soup spend a night in the fridge will allow the flavors to mix and mingle in a way that makes them taste that much better the next day.

What soups does this work best with?

As noted above, you’re going to see the most noticeable improvement in taste in chunky soups and stews that you refrigerate overnight. For pureed soups, “a long resting period will not result in any improvement in taste,” Rennie says, since the original blending process evenly distributes all the ingredients and seasonings. That doesn’t mean a bisque will taste bad as leftovers; it just won’t be obviously better.

If your soup contains rice, noodles, delicate greens or fresh herbs, consider storing those items separately from your leftover soup and adding them during reheating. Rennie notes that rice and noodles can get mushy if they’re left in the broth, while greens and herbs can lose their bright color and fresh aromas during storage—all of which can make for a lesser soup-eating experience the next day.

The same is true of fish. “If you are making a fish soup, you can make stock days in advance, but don’t add the fish fillets to the soup until right before serving,” Rennie adds. “Rewarming soup with fish can result in overcooking.”

How long can you eat leftover soup?

“Most soups keep well in the fridge for up to five days,” says Rennie. That’s on the long end in terms of how long most leftovers last, which is another bonus. There’s no peak time to reheat and serve soup to maximize the flavor, but you may need to adjust the salt or acidity (with a splash of lemon juice or vinegar) as you get to days three, four or five.

The exceptions to this rule, Rennie says, are fish soups, which keep for only two days in the fridge, and cold soups that contain raw ingredients, which keep for just one. That said, most soups last in the freezer for two to three months, Rennie notes.

Is leftover soup healthier than the fresh-off-the-stove batch?

You may know that pasta and rice are healthier as leftovers, thanks to the development of something called resistant starch during the cooling process. Resistant starch contributes to a healthier gut microbiome, better blood-sugar control, lower cholesterol and higher feelings of satiety. While pasta and rice are the biggies, beans, lentils and potatoes also develop resistant starch during cooling, so if your soup contains any of these ingredients you are going to reap these benefits.

Otherwise, soup isn’t going to be any healthier (or unhealthier, for that matter) on subsequent days than it was on the first.

Are there any potential dangers to eating leftover soup?

There’s nothing dangerous about reheating and eating leftover soup—as long as you’re cooling and storing it safely. You can’t finish making a batch and immediately put that hot pot of soup in the fridge, Rennie says, because it can warm your entire fridge to a temperature that puts all of your food in the danger zone for bacterial growth. (That’s between 40 and 140 degrees Fahrenheit, by the way.) But at the same time, you can’t leave the soup out for hours and hours until it’s cool enough to put in the fridge, since that would likely mean it’s spending quite a bit of time in that dangerous temperature range.

The sweet spot, according to Rennie, is cooling your soup at room temperature for two to four hours after you finish cooking it before transferring it to the fridge. “If you want to speed up this process, set the pot into a clean sink filled with ice water and stir the soup frequently,” she suggests.

What’s the best way to store soup?

If you can’t put your whole pot of soup in the fridge, here’s what to do.

• Divide it up. Store the soup in smaller containers that make sense for your family. “A pint will typically serve one, a quart will serve two, and two quarts will serve four people,” Rennie says. “Portioning soup into containers will help it cool faster and will free up space in your fridge after every meal of soup.”
• Don’t cover containers right away. After you split the soup into containers, place them in the fridge uncovered until the soup is cold. “This will help cool the soup faster and prevent moisture from condensing on the lid,” Rennie explains.
• Keep mushy and delicate ingredients separate. I mentioned this earlier, but if you’re making a soup with noodles, rice, fresh greens or fresh herbs and you plan to eat the leftovers for a few days, consider cooking the noodles or rice separately and adding them to the soup by the serving to avoid mushiness. Likewise, add fresh greens and herbs during reheating so they don’t lose their flavors.
• Don’t freeze potatoes. Chunks of potatoes get spongy in the freezer, so soups like chowders that contain them are best kept in the fridge. “Pureed potato soups can become grainy after freezing and might need re-blending,” Rennie adds.

Sources:

• Helen Rennie, cooking instructor, owner of Helen’s Kitchen Cooking School and author of The Science of Dinner; email interview, Nov. 3, 2026
• BMC Flavour: “Just how much of what we taste derives from the sense of smell?”
• USDA Food Safety and Inspection Service: “Danger Zone”

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The post This Fall Comfort Food Actually Tastes Better the Next Day—Here’s What Should Be in Your Leftover Stash appeared first on Reader's Digest.

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Give your entryway a little refresh before the holiday hosting season kicks into high gear! Porte + Hall is offering an early deal: $25 off orders of $75 or more with code ONTHEHOUSE. We’re loving the look of the Innerweave Doormat. Designed for both indoor and outdoor use, it pairs a soft, stain-resistant finish with a classic, natural-fiber look.

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This holiday season, get two full memberships for one price. The Sam’s Club Plus and Walmart+ bundle saves you 45% off the regular combined price, working out to just $10 a month. In other words, you can become a Sam’s Club Plus member and get Walmart+ for free. See more details here!

Candle Warmer Lamp

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If you missed Prime Deal Days last month, don’t sweat it. Amazon is launching into the Black Friday season with early deals live now.

Our editors loved the Marycele Candle Warmer Lamp during our testing of the best candle warmer lamps. It pulls double duty, melting your favorite candle without a flame while casting a warm, cozy glow in your space.

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Need an extra pair of wireless headphones for the gym, office or everyday errands? Grab a pair of Beats Solo4 for less than $70. These chunky headphones make a great addition to your desk drawer or gym bag. They’re an easy, practical gift for just about anyone on your list.

Shop all Walmart’s Early Black Friday Deals now!

Saatva Classic Mattress

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Discount: 19% off

Ready to sleep in luxury? Save $425 on the Saatva Classic Mattress, America’s best-selling online luxury innerspring mattress. Our tester loved its dreamy, luxe feel.

BedJet 3 Climate Comfort Sleep System

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Discount: 37% off

Sleep too hot, too cold or somewhere in between? The BedJet 3 has you covered. Save more than $250 on this clever sleep system, which delivers fast cooling, cozy warmth and ultimate comfort right in your bed. It changed the way our tester sleeps, and it can give you a better night’s rest, too.

SoSoft Sport Mock-Neck Shaker Sweater

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Discount: 50% off

Get a head start on holiday shopping with 50% off at Old Navy. Stock up on cozy sweaters like this mock-neck, festive holiday pajamas, kids’ clothes and so much more before Black Friday. We love Old Navy for its unbeatable quality-to-price ratio, making it easy to dress the whole family without blowing your budget.

Hanna Andersson Holiday Pajamas

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Discount: 40% off

Hanna Andersson makes some of our all-time favorite holiday pajamas, and now’s the perfect time to stock up. Save 40% during the brand’s early Black Friday sale on everything from festive family PJs to adorable holiday outfits for babies and little ones. With 40% off sitewide, there’s a chance to shop for everyone on your list.

Le Creuset 6.5-Qt. Dutch Oven

Shop at Crate & Barrel

Discount: 37% off

Looking for holiday gifts for the home and kitchen? Crate & Barrel’s early Black Friday deals are here, including $170 off this 6.5-quart Le Creuset Dutch oven. It’s a gorgeous, go-to gift for aspiring home cooks to seasoned kitchen pros.

Dear Santa Cookie Plate & Milk Set

Shop on Mud Pie

Discount: 25% off with code MERRY25

Bring a little nostalgia to your holiday table. Shop retro-inspired serveware and decor from Mud Pie and save 25% during the Black Friday pre-sale. We spotted this adorable cookie plate and milk set, perfect for making your Christmas Eve traditions extra sweet. Use code MERRY25 at checkout to snag this discount!

Olipop Favorites Variety Pack

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Discount: 50% off

Calling all Olipop fans: Stock up on your favorite prebiotic sodas and save 50% when you buy two or more packs. That includes the fan-favorite variety pack—so you can sip, stock up and save.

Sundays Easy Edge Media Unit

Shop on Sundays

Discount: 30% off

Okay, at 30% off, this media unit is officially in my cart! My current entertainment setup is long overdue for an upgrade, and I love the soft, rounded edges on this one. Toddler-friendly furniture that actually looks good? It’s a win-win.

Save up to 40% during the brand’s Black Friday sale.

Little Spoon First Order

Shop on Little Spoon

Discount: 60% off first order with code EARLYBIRD60

Dreading the thought of cooking yet another meal during the holiday hustle? Let Little Spoon take something off your plate with healthy, balanced meals your little ones will love. Get 60% off your first order with code EARLYBIRD60, and cross one thing off your to-do list.

Check out our full Little Spoon review for more details on all the brand has to offer.

Sabai Elevate Sectional

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Discount: 24% off

Ready for a living room upgrade? Save $850 on the Elevate Sectional during Sabai’s Black Friday sale.

We tested it and appreciated its stylish, spacious design and found the eco-friendly details just as impressive. Made with recycled materials and repairable, replaceable components, it’s a feel-good find for shoppers who love sustainability as much as great, long-lasting design.

Govee Floor Lamp 3

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Discount: 24% off

Shopping for someone upgrading their hangout zone? The Govee Floor Lamp is a seriously fun gift that takes any setup up a notch. With double-sided lighting and AI-powered smart controls, it can set the mood for movie nights, gaming sessions, music and more.

Flowtica Scribe Field Kit

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Discount: 30% off with code FLOW30

Meet your new favorite note-taking sidekick. The Flowtica Scribe writes like a regular gel pen but doubles as an AI-powered voice recorder. The companion app turns meeting audio into transcripts, handy summaries and to-dos. The bundle includes a charging case and folio notebook. Save 30% with code FLOW30.

Weber Smoque Pellet Smoker

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Discount: 25% off

Make his holiday season a whole lot merrier with a Weber pellet grill. Whether he’s a backyard BBQ enthusiast or ready to level up his grilling game, this is a gift that keeps on giving. Save $200 during the early Black Friday sale.

Sans Air Purifier

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Discount: 30% off

Breathe a little easier and save 30% on the Sans air purifier. Its HEPA filter helps capture dust, pet dander, pollen and smoke, making it a smart upgrade for fresher-feeling air at home. We put it to the test and noticed a difference in our seasonal allergy symptoms.

Naturepedic Classic Organic Cotton Crib Mattress

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Discount: 20% off

Give the whole family a healthier night’s sleep with Naturepedic’s sitewide sale.

Save up to 25% on mattresses, bedding and pillows, including 20% off the highly-rated Classic Crib Mattress. Made with certified organic materials and designed to provide the firm support little ones need, it’s a thoughtful upgrade for your baby’s sleep space.

Avocado Green Mattress

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Discount: 20% off

Save up to 20% on one of our team’s favorite nontoxic mattresses. I chose the organic Avocado Green mattress for my daughter when she graduated to a twin bed, and I haven’t looked back. I love knowing she’s sleeping on comfortable, breathable materials that meet certified nontoxic standards. Several of our other editors also approve.

The Holiday Sale is going on now with 20% off toppers, pillows, furniture, bases, bedding and protectors, too. Talk about a great time to upgrade your sleep setup!

Solowave Red Light Therapy Wand

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Discount: Buy one, get one free

Get one and gift one during Solowave’s buy-one-get-one-free sale on select red light therapy devices, including the handy 4-in-1 skincare wand. After testing the wand for 21 days, our tester noticed her fine lines looked less pronounced and even earned compliments on her radiant, glowy complexion.

HexClad Large Hybrid Roasting Pan with Rack

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Discount: 20%  off

Thanksgiving is almost here, and HexClad is making it easier to get your kitchen holiday-ready. From its signature hybrid cookware and bakeware to roasting pans, the Thanksgiving VIP Sale is a great time to stock up on our favorite kitchen essentials. Give your old kitchen tools a break, impress the family and tackle this year’s bird with some shiny new gear.

Chilipad 2.0

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Discount: $600 off the dual-zone

Speaking of sleep upgrades, Chilipad’s early Black Friday sale is here! Shop now and save $200 on a single-zone Chilipad 2.0 or $600 on a dual-zone model, plus get a free three-year protection plan.

Shopping Editor Emily Way is a big fan. “The relief I get from my Chilipad has genuinely improved my quality of life,” she says.

Coop Original Adjustable Pillow

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Discount: 25% off

Ready for a better night’s sleep? Score 25% off Coop’s gift guide, featuring select favorites like my personal go-to, the Original Adjustable Pillow. It’s also a great time to stock up on bedding extras, with toppers, sheets, blankets and more included in the sale.

AirDoctor 3500

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Discount: 43% off

Breathe a little easier with $280 off the AirDoctor 3500. Deputy Editor Katie Bandurski put it to the test and says, “You really can’t go wrong with the AirDoctor 3500. Yes, it’s pricey. But it makes a world of difference in my home’s air quality and helps ease pesky allergy symptoms.”

If you need a different size, save up to $700 on other select models during the AirDoctor early Black Friday sale.

Silk & Snow Wooden Bed Frame with Headboard

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Discount: 25% off

One of our favorite budget-friendly furniture brands just got even easier on the wallet. Silk & Snow’s early Black Friday sale is offering up to 35% off sitewide, including 25% off select bed frames.

We put the brand’s furniture and sleep essentials to the test, including the Aire modular sofa (now 15% off), bed frames, mattresses and mattress toppers. Get the full scoop on what’s worth buying in our in-depth Silk & Snow review.

Bear Elite Hybrid Mattress

Shop on Bear

Discount: 35% off + free accessories

Shopping for a hybrid mattress? This award-winning pick from Bear is a standout for hot sleepers and anyone seeking extra pressure relief around the back, hips, and shoulders. It features cooling technology and a supportive feel, and during the Black Friday sale, you can save 35% and score free accessories, including pillows and a mattress protector.

Koala Sofa Bed

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Discount: 15% off

You can save up to $1,500 sitewide during the Koala Black Friday sale. One deal we’re especially eyeing? The new Koala sofa bed, which is currently $300 off a queen size. If a stylish, space-saving upgrade has been on your wish list, now might be the perfect time to make the move.

Cozy Earth Bamboo Long Sleeve Pajamas

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Discount: 20% off with code READERSDIGEST

Our editors can’t get enough of Cozy Earth’s lineup, from buttery-soft bamboo pajamas to dreamy sheets and ridiculously cozy blankets. Consider this your sign to treat yourself to a little luxury. After all, there’s no better time to lean into cozy season than when you’re snuggled up under the glow of holiday lights. Enjoy 20% off sitewide with code READERSDIGEST; exclusions apply.

Caraway 12-Piece Ceramic Cookware Set

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Discount: 47% off

One of our favorite ceramic cookware brands is getting a head start on Black Friday with some seriously good deals. Shoppers can score stackable discounts of 15%, 20%, or 25%, depending on how much they spend.

Even better, these savings can be applied to items already marked down, so you can score an even sweeter deal on kitchen upgrades like this 12-piece ceramic cookware set.

LoveSac Sactional

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Discount: 40% off

Ready for a living room upgrade? Lovesac is offering up to 40% off sitewide during its early Black Friday sale, with major savings on Sactionals and sofas.

The Sactional is one of our all-time favorite modular sectionals. “I’m a big proponent of forever furniture,” says Deputy Editor Katie Bandurski. “Meaning—I want to buy quality products that last a lifetime. And after ordering, building and testing a Lovesac Sactional, I’m confident this couch fits the bill.”

Luxe Sateen Hardcore Sheet Bundle

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Discount: 30% off

Ready for a better night’s sleep? Brooklinen is running sales ahead of the big holiday, with up to 30% off select bundles, up to 75% off last-chance items and more. You can save big on the luxe sateen sheet bundle for sweet dreams and sweeter savings.

Rumi Velvet Stocking

Shop on Frontgate

Discount: 33% off

Pull out your holiday stockings only to find they’re looking a little worse for wear? (Where did that mystery yellow stain come from?) Give your mantel a fresh look with new velvet stockings during Frontgate’s Holiday Hosting Event. Even better, you can personalize each one with a family name and still score $20 off per stocking.

July Carry On Pro

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Discount: 20% off

Planning your next getaway? July is kicking off Black Friday early with 20% off sitewide.

We tested the July Carry-On Pro for this review and found it to be a standout pick for frequent flyers, especially business travelers heading out on three- to four-day trips. With its durable shell and high-quality wheels, it’s a smart investment that’s built to go the distance.

The Play Kit

Shop at Lalo

Discount: 35% off

Parents, Black Friday is the perfect time to stock up on baby, toddler, and kid essentials. Lalo is offering up to 40% off mealtime, playtime and bathtime favorites, from high chairs and potty seats to toys and more.

We’re eyeing this versatile play table, perfect for everything from crafts and building to snack time.

Casper Premium Foam Mattress

Shop on Casper

Discount: 30% off

Looking for a guest bedroom upgrade that won’t break the bank? This top-rated all-foam mattress from Casper is 30% off and features three layers of cushioning foam with a responsive medium-firm feel.

Even better, the sale includes up to 35% off sitewide. A pretty sweet deal for a better night’s sleep!

Joybird Wilder Twin Sleeper Sofa

Shop on Joybird

Discount: 55% off

Joybird’s Black Friday sale is bringing 35% off sitewide, with even deeper discounts on best sellers and select special buys.

We spotted this clever sleeper sofa, which is about the size of an oversized chair or loveseat but transforms into an extra bed. With its plush, built-in pillow cushions, it’s a stylish, space-saving solution for holiday hosting and those last-minute overnight guests.

Our Place Wonder Oven Pro

Shop at Our Place

Discount: 18% off

Whether you’re on the hunt for a do-it-all pan to simplify weeknight dinners or a non-toxic air fryer toaster oven combo, Our Place has your kitchen upgrade covered. The brand is offering up to 45% off during its Black Friday sale.

You can save $64 on the Wonder Oven Pro and $36 on the compact Wonder Oven, an all-in-one powerhouse that bakes, broils, air fries, reheats, toasts and roasts.

Solid Custom Alpha Tote

Shop at BaubleBar

Discount: 25% off

Make your holiday gifting a little more personal with BaubleBar. Take 25% off custom gifts, including this monogram tote. Available in three sizes and a variety of colors, it’s an easy way to give a gift that feels thoughtful and on trend.

Purple Restore Hybrid Mattress

Shop at Purple

Discount: 15% off

Save $400 on Purple Restore mattresses during the brand’s Black Friday sale. After years of use, I can say the Purple Restore strikes the perfect balance of firm and soft. It’s survived a move and plenty of everyday wear while continuing to deliver the comfort and support needed for a great night’s sleep.

Sparrow Aerial Carrier

Shop on WildBird

Discount: 30% off

Shopping for new parents? The WildBird aerial carrier makes a thoughtful gift, with an adjustable, breathable linen design that supports both front- and back-carrying for babies ages 2–24 months.

Even better, you can score sale savings across WildBird’s carriers and slings, sleep sacks, pajamas and more. The sale doesn’t last long, though.

Pre-Lit Christmas Garland

Shop on AllModern

Discount: Up to 50% off

Give your home a holiday refresh for less during AllModern’s Black Friday Preview Sale, with up to 50% off furniture, bedding, seasonal decor and more.

Looking to dress up your mantel? This 108-inch pre-lit garland is $24 off and ready to bring a little extra holiday magic to your space.

Ver-Tex Performance Sheet Set

Shop on BedGear

Discount: 30% off

These BedGear VerTex sheets feel like a soft, stretchy, high-quality T-shirt while still delivering cooling comfort, according to our testing. Right now, they’re 30% off during BedGear’s Black Friday Sale, which also features BOGO pillows, $500 off mattresses, $100 off toppers and more.

The post The Best Early Black Friday Deals for Everyday Living: New Deals Added! appeared first on Reader's Digest.

These days, it may seem as though a time capsule wouldn’t be worth making when a quick online search can turn up old yearbook photos, newspaper archives and videos of just about anything you ever played with or listened to. But nothing compares to holding the real thing: the soft crease of a handwritten letter, the rough, snaggly hair of a vintage Barbie doll, the crackling of a well-worn single on a record player. Objects that were actually there at the time carry a look and feel no screen can match, and that’s exactly what a time capsule preserves.

So if you’re wondering how to make a time capsule as a grown-up, here’s the good news: It’s not only easy—it’s also even more meaningful the second time around, especially when you do it with your family. That’s because it’s a literal snapshot of who you are right now: the jokes everyone repeats at dinner, what the kids want to be when they grow up, what a gallon of milk costs, and the way Grandma signs her name. They’re exactly the kind of everyday details that slip away over the years and that future generations most want to know … that is, if they’re able to decode cursive!

And the timing couldn’t be better. The holidays bring multiple generations together under one roof, and everyone is already in a reflective, year-in-review mood. “The people holding the undocumented memory are physically present, and that’s the part you can’t recover later,” says Steven Lazaroff, founder of the genealogy research marketplace GeneoHub.

So how do you make one of these for yourself? To find out, I spoke with Lazaroff and genealogy expert Lisa Louise Cooke, author of The Genealogist’s Google Toolbox and host of the Genealogy Gems Podcast. Read on to learn how to make a time capsule your family will treasure (and actually open), plus simpler ways to capture your loved ones’ stories each year.

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When were time capsules invented?

People have been leaving messages for the future for centuries, but the oldest known time capsule in the United States dates back to 1795, when Samuel Adams, Paul Revere and Colonel William Scollay placed a box beneath the cornerstone of the Massachusetts State House. When it was opened at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston, in 2015, it held coins dating as far back as 1652, newspapers, a copper medal of George Washington and a silver plaque thought to be engraved by Revere. Pretty cool, right?

That said, the modern time capsule took shape in the 1930s. The man often called “the father of the modern time capsule” is Thornwell Jacobs, the former president of Oglethorpe University in Georgia. In 1935, while researching ancient civilizations, he was struck by how little accurate information had survived. So he set out to preserve a record of 20th-century life for the people of the future. The result was the Crypt of Civilization, a 20-foot-long room beneath the university’s Phoebe Hearst Hall. (Fun fact: The room was once a swimming pool.) Inside are more than 640,000 pages of microfilm, newsreels, recordings, a set of Lincoln Logs, a Donald Duck doll and even a machine designed to teach English to whoever finds it. It was welded shut on May 28, 1940, and isn’t scheduled to be opened until May 28, 8113.

Jacobs’s plan made headlines when he announced it in 1936, and the term time capsule was coined soon after, when Westinghouse Electric & Manufacturing Company began preparing a capsule of its own for the 1939 New York World’s Fair. Sealed on Sept. 23, 1938, and buried about 50 feet underground at the fairgrounds, the bullet-shaped cylinder holds more than 100 items, including seed samples, microfilm and a handwritten message from Albert Einstein. It’s slated to be opened in 6939.

Why should families bring back the time capsule?

“Time capsules are unique in that they are curated by the family itself and not a third party like a governmental agency,” says Cooke. “Each item has special meaning. It’s a way to speak to the future about what you valued in your present.”

Lazaroff sees the value from the other side: His business helps families piece together their history from records. “My job is reconstructing context that no longer exists,” he says. “I can find you a birth date. I can’t tell you what your great-grandmother’s kitchen smelled like.” A time capsule, he explains, is your one chance to put in that context on purpose.

What should you think about before you start?

“Decide the open date first,” says Lazaroff. “Everything else follows from it.” How long the capsule stays sealed shapes what you put inside, what kind of container you need and how much explaining your future selves will need.

For a long-term family capsule, 20 to 25 years is the sweet spot, according to Lazaroff. Instead of choosing a round number, tie the opening to a life event, like “when your youngest turns 30.” Events get remembered, he says—dates don’t. If you’re thinking even further out, keep in mind that past 50 years, you may not be around to explain what everything means, so the capsule has to make sense entirely on its own.

If you have young kids, consider doing both a short-term and a long-term capsule. A one-year capsule opened on a birthday or next Thanksgiving shows kids that the payoff is real. Children under about age 10 can’t really imagine 25 years from now, Lazaroff explains, so a long-term capsule on its own can feel like an abstraction to them.

How to make a time capsule

Knowing how to make a time capsule that survives the years comes down to a few key decisions. Here’s how to do it, step by step.

1. Choose a sturdy container

Your capsule’s biggest enemies are moisture, light, temperature swings, pests and acid, says Lazaroff. Look for containers and supplies labeled acid-free, lignin-free and Photographic Activity Test (PAT)–passed (meaning the material won’t react with photos). Inert plastics like polypropylene and polyethylene are ideal. Avoid PVC entirely, since it gives off gases that can ruin photographs within a couple of decades. And skip cardboard, which is acidic and attracts pests.

On a budget? Lazaroff says a military-surplus steel ammo can with a rubber gasket works well indoors. It’s sealed, pest-proof and light-proof, and it typically costs around $30.

Cooke likes a more decorative approach: a lovely box secured with a lock and displayed on a high shelf. “[It] not only serves as a reminder of the excitement of the opening day to come, but it can also be easily brought along in the case of a move,” she says. If you go this route, line it with acid-free folders or sleeves, and keep it out of direct sunlight.

2. Get the whole family involved

A holiday gathering is the perfect time to fill your capsule. Lazaroff suggests waiting until right after a big meal, “when nobody wants to move.” Then try a few of these ideas.

• Pass a notebook around the table with a single question in it. Let everyone answer in their own handwriting. “The handwriting matters as much as the answer,” says Lazaroff.
• Let the grandkids play interviewer. Cooke suggests having grandchildren hand out paper and pens and pull prearranged questions from a bowl. They ask a grandparent the question, the grandparent writes the answer, and the grandchild places it in the capsule.
• Record the oldest relative telling one story. Just put a phone on the table. “You’re not making a documentary—you’re capturing a voice,” Lazaroff says.
• Give the teenager the camera. They get to document the day.
• Write down everyone who was in the room. Include full names and the date. “In 50 years, that page will matter more than anything else in the box,” says Lazaroff.

When you write your questions, focus on personal experiences and feelings, not the news of the day, which is easy to look up later. Cooke recalls reading the autobiography of her husband’s great-great-grandmother. “I was captivated by her description of her daily chores (so different from today) and how she felt about them, much more than [her] discussing the facts of the end of the Civil War,” she says.

3. Decide what to include

The best time capsules mix the meaningful with the mundane. Here’s what our experts recommend.

• Labeled photographs printed on real photo paper. Name every person in every photo, using a soft pencil or photo-safe pen, never a ballpoint or Sharpie, which can bleed through. “Every genealogist alive has a box of unidentified faces,” says Lazaroff.
• Handwritten letters from each family member. The handwriting itself becomes a keepsake.
• Everyday items. These could be a school lunch menu, a transit pass or a grocery receipt (photocopied). “Historians treasure the mundane because big events are documented everywhere,” Lazaroff says. “Nobody saved what bread cost.” 
• Kids’ creations. Think: fridge drawings, letters to Santa, report cards and homework assignments.
• A printed family tree. It should include both current family members and ancestors, so the connections are clear. Cooke suggests a free tool like MyHeritage’s Family Tree Builder. You can also add notes, like the oldest ancestor you met in person or which relative taught you something important.
• A list of what you don’t know. Lazaroff suggests writing down family mysteries, like: “We never learned her mother’s maiden name.” Open questions tell a future researcher exactly where to dig.
• Copies of key family records—never originals—laser-printed onto acid-free paper. Write where each record came from, including the archive (e.g., a county clerk’s office, a state’s vital records office, a church parish or a historical society), reference number and date. “A photocopy with no source is nearly useless,” says Lazaroff. “A copy with a reference number is a treasure map.”
• A one-page profile of each person. Include their name, dates (birth, death, marriages), where they’ve lived, what they do, one story they tell and one opinion they hold. If you record audio, include a printed transcript too.
• An index page listing every item and why it’s there. Objects without an explanation become trivia.

4. Know what to leave out

Certain items quietly destroy themselves … and sometimes everything around them. Skip or work around the following, says Lazaroff.

• USB drives, SD cards and DVDs. The media itself degrades, and the technology to read it may not exist in 20 years. “Digital media formats have changed countless times just in our own lifetime, making analog a much more attractive option,” says Cooke. If you want to include digital photos or videos, print the most important ones.
• Newspapers. They’re highly acidic, and the acid spreads to everything they touch. Photocopy articles onto acid-free paper instead.
• Thermal receipts (the shiny kind). They fade within a few years. Photocopy them.
• Inkjet prints. Again, these fade badly. Laser prints and true photo prints last much longer.
• Rubber bands, paper clips, staples, tape and lamination. Rubber rots, metal rusts and stains paper, and lamination traps acid against a document permanently.
• Anything organic or liquid. These items can attract pests or leak.
• Original documents you might need, like birth certificates or passports. “If you need that birth certificate for a passport next spring, you’ve locked it away,” Lazaroff says.

5. Prep before sealing

Before you seal anything, let all the contents sit indoors for a few days to make sure they’re completely dry, and add a few silica gel packets. Don’t make the container airtight unless everything inside is bone-dry, warns Lazaroff, or “you’ve built a mold incubator.”

Then label the outside in large letters: “FAMILY TIME CAPSULE. DO NOT DISCARD. OPEN [insert date],” along with a name and contact information.

6. Store it at home—and don’t bury it

Burying a time capsule may be the classic move, but both experts advise against it. Ground moisture, freeze-thaw cycles and tree roots can all damage the contents. And people move. Cooke’s former next-door neighbor learned this the hard way. Twenty years earlier, he had buried a capsule in his backyard containing his father’s World War II medals and some family gold. When he moved, he forgot it. He came back six months later, and the new owners graciously let him dig, but he never found the capsule.

Instead, keep your capsule in an interior closet on a main or upper floor, off the ground and out of the light, Lazaroff recommends. Avoid the attic (temperatures swing too much) and the basement (humidity and flood risk). “If you wouldn’t be comfortable sitting in that spot for a year, neither will your photographs,” he says.

If your family is set on burying it, Lazaroff suggests three layers of protection: the archival container inside, a sealed waterproof barrier around it, and a rigid outer vault rated for burial. Never put it directly into soil. Choose high ground with good drainage, away from anywhere that might be built on, paved or planted. Most important, mark the spot above ground with something permanent, like a plaque, an engraved paver or a stone. “The marker is the entire ballgame,” he says.

How to ensure you won’t forget your time capsule

The biggest threat to a time capsule is being forgotten. “Almost no capsule is lost to decay,” says Lazaroff. “They’re lost to being forgotten and thrown out.” An unlabeled box is easy to toss during a move or an estate cleanout. Here’s how to keep yours on everyone’s radar.

• Label it clearly. Make sure it’s emblazoned with the open date and a contact name, as described above.
• Tell at least three people across two generations. You want backup in people, not just in notes.
• Set a recurring calendar reminder for the open date. Also mention the capsule in your will.
• Photograph the capsule and where it’s stored, then email those photos to yourself and two relatives. Email archives tend to survive house moves better than paper.
• Take it with you when you move. Lazaroff suggests writing “TAKE ME” right on the box.
• Register it. The free International Time Capsule Registry, created with the International Time Capsule Society, is designed to help people track down capsules decades later.
• Keep it in sight. This is where Cooke’s on-display approach shines: A capsule on a shelf is much harder to forget than one buried in the backyard.

What should you do when it’s finally time to open it?

When the big day arrives, Cooke suggests transferring the items into a glass-sided display case so everyone can enjoy them. Have everyone at the opening sign a card and take a group photo, then add those to the display. Then you can reuse the capsule and start the next one!

What’s a low-key way to capture your family each year?

If a sealed box feels like too much, a simple annual tradition can capture your family’s story just as well, and you get to enjoy it along the way. Try one of these.

• Ask the same three questions every year. Pick a date, like Thanksgiving or Christmas, and ask everyone the same questions, then write down the answers. “After 10 years, it’s extraordinary, and it takes 20 minutes,” says Lazaroff.
• Host a label-the-photos night. Once a year, pull up that year’s photos and name everyone in them. “Unglamorous, and worth more to your descendants than any capsule,” Lazaroff says.
• Write a birthday letter to each child every year. Seal them, and hand over the whole stack when they turn 18.
• Print 10 photos a year. Physical prints are the only format Lazaroff would bet on still being viewable in 50 years.
• Make a year-in-review photo book. Cooke suggests print-on-demand services like Shutterfly or Lulu to turn the year’s photos into a hardcover book. Give copies as holiday gifts, or let each family member order their own.
• Set up a digital photo frame with an album for each year. Cooke suggests putting it on display during the holidays as a year in review. You can even include photos of handwritten notes.
• Record one story from your oldest relative every year, and transcribe it. “This is the one with a real deadline, and the one families always mean to get to,” says Lazaroff.
• Write wishes for your future self. Have everyone do this at Thanksgiving dinner, seal them in an envelope and read them aloud next year.
• Start a family tree. If the capsule sparks curiosity about your ancestors, building a family tree is a natural next step.

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on how to make a time capsule, Danielle Saliman tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who frequently writes about lifestyle, family, psychology and trends for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• Lisa Louise Cooke, founder of Genealogy Gems and host of the Genealogy Gems Podcast; email interview, Oct. 23, 2026
• Steven Lazaroff , founder of GeneoHub; email interview, Oct. 23, 2026
• History: “America’s Oldest Known Time Capsule Was Made by Paul Revere and Samuel Adams”
• Museum of Fine Arts, Boston: “Massachusetts State House Time Capsule Opened at Museum of Fine Arts, Boston”
• 99% Invisible: “100 Objects #1: The Century Safe”
• Oglethorpe University: “Crypt of Civilization”
• Bureau International des Expositions: “Westinghouse Time Capsule: 80 years on, still 4920 years to go…”
• Oglethorpe University: “International Time Capsule Society to digitally preserve thousands of records”

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This month, Manganiello released Bloodlines, a memoir about his seven-year battle with a mysterious illness that left him fighting for his life. “It’s a story about survival,” he tells us, describing the book as “a Trojan horse for a spiritual odyssey.” In it, the actor opens up about years of debilitating pain, uncertainty and a medical journey that, at one point, left him unable to walk and required the amputation of his large intestine. But Bloodlines is more than a story of illness. It’s a deeply personal look at transformation and what it means to find your way through the unimaginable.

For this episode of The Reader’s Digest Escalator Interview, we caught up with Manganiello to talk about Bloodlines, his journey from actor to author, and more. He gave us a peek into his writing process, revealed his favorite authors and made a case for the literary genre he thinks deserves a little more love. We also got the scoop on his go-to writing snack and the one character he’s played who holds a special place in his heart.

Read on for our exclusive interview with Joe Manganiello, and shop his recommended reads below. (Bonus: We’ve included a few extra books that he talked about off camera too!)

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Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’ve been sharing our favorite books for over 100 years. We’ve worked with bestselling authors including Susan Orlean, Janet Evanovich and Alex Haley, whose Pulitzer Prize–winning Roots grew out of a project funded by and originally published in the magazine. Through Fiction Favorites (formerly Select Editions and Condensed Books), Reader’s Digest has been publishing anthologies of abridged novels for decades. We’ve worked with some of the biggest names in fiction, including James Patterson, Ruth Ware, Kristin Hannah and more. The Reader’s Digest Book Club, helmed by Books Editor Tracey Neithercott, introduces readers to even more of today’s best fiction by upcoming, bestselling and award-winning authors. For this piece, Leigh Belz Ray interviewed actor and author Joe Manganiello. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

The RD Escalator Interview with Ke Huy Quan

The RD Escalator Interview with Leigh Bardugo

The RD Escalator Interview with Lynn Painter

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Prepping, which is short for preparedness, just means keeping food and supplies on hand in case of emergencies. And it’s always been around. In fact, you could say that anyone who cans food or stores garden veggies in the cellar for the winter is a prepper. In many ways, planning for the future is part of our DNA.

But recently, you may have heard that the United States government issued a new advisory to stockpile 90 days’ worth of food and other supplies. Should we all be worried that something big is on the horizon? What’s behind all this talk? Ahead, I’ll break down what’s really going on and what you should do in response. Read on to learn the latest.

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Who is talking about the need to prep for 90 days?

First, let’s clear up a misconception: The 90-day timeline comes from the Pentagon’s new push to make U.S. military bases self-sustaining without outside intervention in the case of a war. But for regular people, the suggestion is much less onerous. In fact, it’s more in line with what you would do for a natural disaster, and in the U.S., the guidance hasn’t changed at all.

Over the past few weeks, several countries, including Britain, Japan and Germany, have issued new or revamped guidance to make sure residents stock enough food, water and other supplies to last anywhere from three days to more than a week. Here is a snapshot of what governments around the world are advising their citizens to do:

• United States: Ready.gov advises residents to have a “several-day” supply of bottled water, nonperishable food, batteries, chargers and other items you would find in an emergency go bag.
• Britain: On Oct. 22, Britain launched its Be Ready initiative, telling residents to have three days of similar supplies, including 9 liters of water per person, on hand for contingencies.
• Japan: The prime minister launched a new National Disaster Management Agency on Nov. 2, encouraging people to not only have three days of supplies but also to secure their furniture and invest in a portable toilet.
• Norway: The country’s DSB, or emergency preparedness agency, recommends Norwegians be prepared to live without help for one week.
• Germany: The German government takes these tips even further, advising that residents have 10 days’ worth of supplies on hand in case of emergencies. If that’s not possible, three days is the bare minimum.
• Sweden: Like Norway, Sweden recommends that residents have one week of supplies stocked up for emergencies.

What prompted this concern?

Climate change and natural disasters are big drivers of the push to get people prepared. Other reasons include cyberattacks, due to our heavy reliance on technology, and the rise of hostile foreign actors around the world. Here’s why being prepared is increasingly important today:

Natural disasters

Climate change is accelerating the intensity and frequency of weather-related natural disasters, including heat waves, droughts and hurricanes. You don’t want to be caught off guard if help is days away. And with this year’s super El Niño, which could bring heavy rain and flooding to more than 40 states across the U.S., 2027 is shaping up to be a big one for weather disasters.

There’s also the issue of rising instability and migration due to climate change: According to the United Nations, climate disasters displaced nearly 46 million people in 2024. Having a few days’ worth of food and water on hand when the power goes out (or worse) could give you a lifeline when things look bleak.

Cyber attacks

Just last month, the world was on high alert due to a vulnerability in a programming language, PHP, used by 70% of the world’s websites. Before patches became available, millions of sites were attacked and multiple governments went offline as a precaution. What if your city’s electrical grid or water supply were affected?

And don’t discount the idea of hackers taking advantage of a natural disaster, says Lynn Budd, a former president of the National Emergency Management Association. “Everybody’s paying attention to the tornado, so our adversaries take advantage of that time and decide, ‘Oh, they’re busy with something else. Now’s the time to do a cyberattack or other types of attacks that may affect the critical infrastructure of a community,'” she told the Guardian.

Hostile governments

War and instability are on the rise around the world, with conflicts in Ukraine and the Middle East just two of the most visible. China, Iran, North Korea and Russia are cited as particular threats. The recent crisis over Starlink and Starshield satellite systems being suddenly unavailable to Ukrainians on the battlefield demonstrates that we are all vulnerable to actions beyond our control.

Sweden and Britain specifically noted hostile foreign actors as reasons for revamping their emergency guidance, and we should also note that being isolated by two major oceans, like we are here in the U.S., doesn’t provide as much of a buffer as it once did. Terror attacks and cyber threats can happen anywhere.

Should we be worried?

It depends on your perspective. Natural disasters and weather-related crises are definitely on the rise, so being prepared to hunker down at home for a few days after an emergency (or flee before one, if authorities advise that route) is just good planning. And keeping your cybersecurity defenses up is always smart given today’s threat environment.

But if you are hearing lots of panic about a new 90-day guidance from the government, remember that this applies to military bases, not the public. If anyone on your social media feed is encouraging you to prep an underground bunker with food and supplies for a coming three-month emergency, be circumspect, especially if they are selling something.

Should ordinary people be prepping for a 90-day emergency?

No. The U.S. government’s official advice remains the same: Three days’ worth of supplies is sufficient. Other countries also give recommendations of days, not months. Plus, groceries are expensive right now! Unless you have the space and money to bulk-buy food and water, do what makes you most comfortable.

What kinds of supplies should you always have on hand?

Whether you prep for three days or 90, these are the things you should keep in your emergency preparedness kit:

• Water: 1 gallon per person, per day
• Nonperishable food: three days’ worth of food that never expires
• First aid kit
• Flashlight and extra batteries
• Dust masks or respirators
• Phone chargers and backup batteries
• Weather radio
• Manual can opener and basic tools
• Personal sanitation: trash bags, twist ties and moist towelettes
• Medication

You can find other ideas for your personal prepper kit at Ready.gov/kit.

Sources:

• Ready.gov: “Build a Kit”
• Be Ready: “Are you emergency ready?”
• The Washington Post: “Japan launches a new national agency to deal with disasters”
• Fortune: “Pentagon orders bases to plan for 90 days without the grid as Britain urges families to stockpile food and water”
• DSB: “How to contribute to Norway’s emergency preparedness”
• Federal Office of Civil Protection and Disaster Assistance: “Planning ahead for crises and disasters”
• The Guardian: “Every Briton should stockpile water and food supplies, government advises”
• United Nations: “Number of internally displaced breaks new record with no let-up in conflicts, disasters”
• The Guardian: “What is PHP and how serious is the computer language flaw causing website shutdowns?”
• Swedish Civil Defense and Resilience Agency: “Download or order the brochure In case of crisis or war”

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I’m a big believer in the restart. Taking a cue from the call-center employee whose first suggestion to any technical problem is to “unplug it and plug it back in,” I always restart my computer when it’s slow, and this does occasionally work. But other than that, I’m usually flying blind. I’m not the most technical person in the world, so what else can I do?

Well, there is something, and it’s right on my computer—and yours. While it won’t magically fix a lagging laptop (or desktop either), this secret menu can help diagnose problems and arm you with valuable information you can use to take further steps. And luckily, it doesn’t take a tech genius to take a peek under the hood, so to speak. Read on to learn all the insider intel.

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What is the secret menu that can diagnose a slow computer?

On Windows PCs, it’s the Performance tab within your computer’s Task Manager app. On Macs, it’s called the Activity Monitor. Both apps track computer operations that are running in the background, as well as storage capacity and other key performance issues. They’re filled with valuable information that can help you figure out why your tech is bogging down for no apparent reason.

What, exactly, do they tell you?

Both the Windows Performance tab and the Mac Activity Monitor capture tons of processes, but the five main ones that are helpful for diagnosing a slow computer are:

• CPU usage: Your computer’s Central Processing Unit runs applications and software, performs calculations and generally acts as the “brain” of your computer. High CPU usage isn’t always bad, but if it’s high during certain operations, it could be a clue as to why your computer is dragging.
• Memory (RAM): Random-access memory is your computer’s short-term memory. When you open an app, stream a movie or play a game, RAM is where your computer stores the data and files that the CPU needs right away while the application is in use.
• Disk space: Your disk drive or hard drive is your computer’s long-term memory, where files, photos and other things that are not needed while applications are running are stored. But it can also store shorter-term files, especially if the RAM is inadequate.
• Network processes: This information doesn’t pertain to your physical computer, per se, but a slow network connection can definitely be a reason it isn’t working as fast as it should on processes that require the internet.
• GPU usage: This is your graphics processing unit, aka graphics card. It’s what’s needed to quickly render videos, movies, games and other graphics-heavy applications, as well as process your computer’s overall visuals.

How do you find these menus?

It’s easy, but there are few ways to get there, depending on your operating system.

Open the Performance tab on Windows computers

• Use the Start button: Right-click on the Start button, select Task Manager and then navigate to the Performance tab on the left (it looks like a line graph).
• Use the taskbar: Right-click on an empty part of the taskbar, select Task Manager and navigate to the Performance tab.
• Use keyboard shortcuts: Hit Cntl + Shift + Esc at the same time to bring up the Task Manager directly. Alternatively, you can use Cntl + Alt + Del, and then select Task Manager from the menu.

Open the Activity Monitor on a Mac

• Use Spotlight search: Hit the Command button and the space bar, then type in Activity Monitor and hit return. You can also find Spotlight by clicking the magnifying glass in the top right corner of your screen.
• Use Finder: Open Finder on your dock, then go to the toolbar across the top and select Go > Utilities > Activity Monitor. If Finder is not in your dock, click any empty space on your desktop and the Finder toolbar will appear.
• Use the Apps icon: Select the Apps icon from your dock, then type in Activity Monitor and hit return. Apps is a dedicated apps launcher within Spotlight that rolled out with the Tahoe update, but if you are running an older version you’ll know it as Launchpad.
• Use a keyboard shortcut: Hit Fn + Shift + A to bring up the Apps search directly.

What are you looking for?

There’s a lot of information in the Performance tab and Activity Monitor, and some of the more technical fixes are beyond the scope of this article. But you can start with some basic troubleshooting. When your computer is running slowly, open the Task Manager or Activity Monitor and be ready to jot down what you see.

Here are some top line things to look for and correct or research further.

High CPU usage

Temporary spikes are not necessarily concerning, but if your CPU is consistently running near the maximum, the fan is loud or your computer is just plain slow, click over to the Processes tab on a PC (right above the Performance tab) or click the CPU column on a Mac. Close any resource-heavy apps that you’re not using, then restart and recheck.

Update or reinstall apps that continually use too many resources, and disable apps that start up automatically so they’re not constantly running in the background. You can also try cleaning your computer’s fan and vents with compressed air.

Low disk space and RAM

Heavy RAM usage often indicates too many things are running at once. Close apps you’re not using as well as browsers and/or excessive tabs that are open. Today’s browsers are much bigger resource hogs than they used to be, constantly loading and running videos, background scripts and ads. Restart. If the problem persists, consider adding more RAM.

If disk space is low, get rid of files, videos and images you no longer need. Close apps you’re not using, clear up space by running your computer’s disk cleanup function, and consider upgrading to a solid state drive instead of an older hard drive.

High GPU usage

If your Activity Monitor or Performance tab shows high graphics-card usage, close video games and graphics-heavy apps and browsers. Restart your computer. If you continue to see that the GPU usage is high, you may need to update your graphics card.

Network problems

If you’re having network connectivity problems, it’s always worth it to stop any downloads or heavy streaming activities that could be hung up. Restart your computer, make sure your router and/or modem are online, and run a speed test from your internet provider.

What else can you do to fix a slow computer?

It’s worth trying some general fixes. Here are more tips that can help speed up your PC or Mac.

• Restart your computer. Yes, it sounds basic, but restarting does give your computer a little refresh by clearing out temporary files and closing background processes that might be hung up.
• Close any programs you’re not using. Close extra tabs, browsers and apps. Change your startup settings so you don’t have a lot of programs running in the background that you’re not using.
• Scan for malware. Viruses and malware can cause slowdowns, so run an antivirus program like Microsoft Defender Antivirus. For a Mac, Apple’s protection is built in and runs automatically.
• Keep your computer updated. When your computer says you have software or operating-system updates available, download them. Recommended patches and anti-virus updates not only keep you safe from hackers—they can speed up a slow computer too.

Sources:

• Microsoft: “Troubleshoot processes by using Task Manager”
• Apple: “Activity Monitor user guide”
• Apple: “If your Mac runs slowly”
• Dell Technologies: “How to improve performance on a slow Dell computer or laptop”
• Microsoft: “System configuration tools in Windows”
• Intel: “Why is my computer running slow?”
• Cnet: “These could be slowing down your computer”
• Microsoft: “High CPU usage troubleshooting guidance”

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That disconnect is frustrating … but it’s also potentially useful. The thing is, anxiety isn’t just spinning thoughts or sweaty palms; it’s happening in both your mind and your body at once. And that means you may be able to work on the physical side of the response instead of simply waiting for your brain to magically become reasonable.

The vagus nerve is one of the key players in that mind-body connection, helping your brain communicate with organs throughout your body and playing an important role in shifting you out of a stress response. If anxiety can send that whole system in one panicked direction, there’s a lot of interest in whether you can work from the body up to help steer it back toward calmer waters, and there’s some pretty convincing science behind it.

To learn how to stimulate the vagus nerve, I spoke with Richard Gevirtz, PhD, a psychology professor at the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant University, and Christopher Austelle, MD, a board-certified psychiatrist and a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University. Read on to learn how to work with your nervous system to calm down a whole lot faster.

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What is the vagus nerve, exactly?

The vagus nerve is one of the body’s major communication routes. Though we colloquially refer to it in the singular, we actually have two vagal nerves. They travel from the brainstem through either side of the neck and then into the chest and abdomen, passing the heart, lungs and digestive tract along the way. 

Comprised of more than 200,000 nerve fibers, the vagus nerve is also the primary nerve involved in the parasympathetic nervous system, explains Gevirtz. Quick biology refresh: Your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems help manage many of the things your body does automatically. The sympathetic side helps mobilize you when something requires action, while the parasympathetic side helps bring things back toward rest and recovery afterward. Gevirtz describes the parasympathetic system as the “rest, digest and restore” side.

You need both: The goal isn’t to stay relaxed all the time—it’s to be able to ramp up when you need to, then settle again.

What does the vagus nerve have to do with anxiety?

The vagus nerve can help calm some of the physical changes that happen when you’re anxious. As a major pathway of the parasympathetic nervous system, it helps regulate heart rate, breathing and digestion, as well as helps your body return toward rest after a stress response.

During stress, Gevirtz explains, sympathetic activity normally increases while parasympathetic activity temporarily drops, a process sometimes called vagal withdrawal. That shift helps your body gear up to respond; once the demand has passed, the balance should move back toward rest and recovery. You can see part of that process with every breath. Your heart rate naturally rises slightly as you inhale and falls as you exhale, a pattern the vagus nerve helps regulate. Those beat-to-beat differences contribute to heart rate variability, or HRV.

A 2022 meta-analysis published in Psychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences found that people with anxiety disorders tended to have lower parasympathetic activity at rest. In other words, the part of the nervous system that helps you wind down may be less active in people with anxiety. But that doesn’t necessarily mean the vagus nerve itself isn’t working properly.

Why doesn’t the vagus nerve always do what it’s supposed to do?

For the most part, it does. Your vagus nerve isn’t a muscle that becomes weak because you forgot to exercise it, and it generally doesn’t need to be “reset.”

The problem, Gevirtz says, can be spending long stretches of time in that withdrawn state when life—and let’s be honest, the world—feels like a lot. He compares the nervous system to a thermostat: What matters isn’t making it stronger, but how readily it can shift when circumstances change.

How can you stimulate your vagus nerve?

The things you can do at home don’t directly stimulate the vagus nerve in the same way medical treatments do. (More on that below.) Dr. Austelle, who researches vagus nerve stimulation, says these techniques are better understood as behaviors that “influence” vagus nerve function.

That influence can happen in a few different ways. Here are five techniques to try.

Slow down your breathing

“One of the techniques with the most evidence and the most convincing evidence is slow breathing,” Dr. Austelle says. A 2022 systematic review and meta-analysis published in Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews looked at more than 200 studies and found that slow breathing increased signs of parasympathetic activity—the “rest, digest and restore” side of the nervous system—both while people were breathing slowly and afterward. The effect was also seen in studies where people practiced slow breathing over time.

Gevirtz generally recommends slowing to about four to seven breaths per minute. That works out to one full inhale-and-exhale cycle roughly every nine to 15 seconds—not holding your breath, just breathing more slowly and continuously. “It has to be effortless breathing,” he says.

Dr. Austelle says the exhale may be particularly important. To try it, sit comfortably, gradually slow your breathing and let your exhale last a little longer than your inhale. Don’t force enormous breaths; if you feel lightheaded, return to your normal breathing.

Try cyclic sighing

Cyclic sighing gives you a more specific pattern to follow. Inhale slowly through your nose, take a second, smaller inhale to fill your lungs a little more, and then slowly and fully exhale through your mouth. There isn’t a specific number of seconds you need to hit; the emphasis is on that double inhale followed by a longer exhale.

A 2023 study published in Cell Reports Medicine had adults practice cyclic sighing, two other breathing exercises or mindfulness meditation for five minutes a day over about a month. All four groups reported less anxiety, but the breathing exercises led to bigger improvements in positive mood, with cyclic sighing also producing the largest drop in respiratory rate.

Hum through a long exhale

Humming has a plausible connection to vagal activity, but the research here is considerably thinner. Gevirtz says some yoga practices pair humming with slow breathing, and the extended exhale may be doing much of the work. While it’s possible that humming adds something on its own, especially due to the proximity of the vocal cords to the vagus nerve, there isn’t enough evidence to say for sure.

A 2023 study published in Cureus measured HRV in 23 people during Bhramari, a yoga breathing technique that involves a humming exhale. Researchers found HRV changes consistent with lower physiological stress, but a study that small can’t tell us whether humming reliably reduces anxiety or offers benefits beyond slow breathing.

If you find it soothing, though, humming through a slow exhale is easy enough to try.

Cool your face

Cold exposure can trigger vagal activity, but its effects are more complicated than “cold equals calm.” Dr. Austelle points to the diving reflex, a response that kicks in when your face is exposed to cold and eventually helps slow your heart rate. A 2023 systematic review and meta-analysis published in Psychophysiology found increased cardiac vagal activity during facial cooling and water immersion, although the included studies were small and the quality of evidence was limited.

There’s a catch, though: Dr. Austelle says very cold temperatures initially activate the sympathetic nervous system, so your heart rate and blood pressure can actually rise before the diving reflex begins to have its slowing effect. In other words, an ice bath isn’t simply flipping on “rest and digest.” If cool water feels calming, briefly splashing or cooling your face is a less dramatic place to start.

You may also see advice to put something cold over the center of your chest. There’s much less research on that approach. In a small 2025 study, applying a cold pack to the chest for 20 minutes lowered participants’ heart rates and changed some measures of HRV, but it also raised blood pressure, and the study didn’t establish that stimulating the vagus nerve was responsible. For now, the connection between facial cooling and the diving reflex is much better established.

Try HRV biofeedback 

HRV biofeedback is essentially slow breathing with real-time feedback about how your heart is responding. A sensor tracks your heartbeat as you breathe, which can help you find the breathing pace that produces the strongest HRV response for you instead of simply following a one-size-fits-all pace. And it isn’t limited to a clinician’s office. Consumer sensors and phone-based tools can be used for HRV biofeedback at home, though Gevirtz cautions against treating the numbers from a smartwatch or other wearable as gospel. These devices tend to be better at measuring heart rate than HRV, he says, and day-to-day scores can be noisy enough that they’re not worth fixating on.

Gevirtz helped develop the HRV biofeedback approach with Paul Lehrer, PhD, a professor of psychiatry at Rutgers University who studies biofeedback and psychophysiology. With practice, Gevirtz says, that feedback can help people learn what the pattern feels like well enough to reproduce it without watching the numbers every time.

There’s also some evidence those changes can last. In a 2024 randomized controlled study published in Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback, people who completed HRV-biofeedback training showed greater improvements in resting HRV than an active control group. They weren’t significantly less anxious overall, suggesting that the improvement in HRV didn’t necessarily translate to less anxiety, but it did show that the intervention changed how their bodies were responding.

How quickly can these techniques calm you down?

“It definitely has an effect for most people very quickly,” Gevirtz says. In his clinical work, patients who have practiced slow breathing can produce noticeable changes in their heart-rate pattern after only a few breaths. At the four-to-seven-breaths-per-minute pace he generally recommends, that means those physiological changes can begin within about a minute, although how quickly you actually feel calmer can vary.

A small 2026 pilot study suggests even one minute may be enough to make a difference in how anxious you feel. Researchers had 47 university students use either cyclic sighing, box breathing or no breathing exercise during real-life moments of acute stress. Five minutes later, both breathing groups reported larger drops in anxiety than the control group.

Will stimulating your vagus nerve reduce your anxiety and stress levels overall?

Regular practice may make it easier to get that calming effect over time, particularly with slow breathing. In his clinical work, Gevirtz has patients practice for about 10 minutes a day so the technique becomes more familiar before they need it during a stressful moment.

The 2023 Cell Reports Medicine study offers another clue: Participants practiced cyclic sighing for five minutes a day for about a month, and researchers measured their mood before and after each daily session. The more consistently people practiced, the bigger the mood boost after each session tended to be.

So when you see advice about how to stimulate the vagus nerve, it may be more useful to think about practicing ways to help your nervous system shift back toward calm rather than “toning” one specific nerve.

What about vagus nerve stimulators?

Actual VNS is different: These devices stimulate the nerve directly with electricity. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, implanted VNS is used for certain medical conditions, including treatment-resistant epilepsy and depression. Noninvasive, or transcutaneous, VNS delivers electrical stimulation through the skin and is being studied for a range of psychiatric and neurological conditions.

For everyday stress management, though, Gevirtz says evidence for commercial noninvasive devices remains mixed, particularly when researchers compare them with sham devices that feel similar but don’t provide the same stimulation.

For now, slowing your breathing is a much cheaper place to start.

When is anxiety bigger than a breathing exercise?

These techniques can be useful when anxiety is making your whole system feel revved up, but they can’t address every reason you might be anxious. If you’re anxious most of the time, having panic attacks, losing sleep over it or starting to avoid parts of your life because of it, that’s worth bringing to a health-care or mental-health professional.

And sometimes the problem really is the problem. Breathing more slowly may help you feel steadier before a difficult conversation, but it won’t make the conversation disappear. It can, however, make it easier to walk into that conversation without feeling like your body has decided it’s an emergency.

That’s really the point for me. I’m not trying to breathe my way out of having problems. But it’s powerful to know I can use something as simple as my breathing to actually turn down the volume on anxiety when it starts taking over.

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on how to stimulate the vagus nerve, Miranda Manier tapped her longtime experience as a journalist and health editor to ensure that all information is accurate and offers the best possible advice to readers. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• Richard Gevirtz, PhD, distinguished professor of psychology at the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant University; interviewed, October 2026
• Christopher Austelle, MD, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University; interviewed, October 2026
• Cleveland Clinic: “Vagus Nerve: What It Is, Function, Location & Conditions”
• Psychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences: “Heart rate variability in patients with anxiety disorders: A systematic review and meta-analysis”
• Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews: “Effects of voluntary slow breathing on heart rate and heart rate variability: A systematic review and a meta-analysis”
• Cell Reports Medicine: “Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal”
• Cureus: “Humming (Simple Bhramari Pranayama) as a Stress Buster: A Holter-Based Study to Analyze Heart Rate Variability”
• Psychophysiology: “The diving response and cardiac vagal activity: A systematic review and meta-analysis”
• Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine: “Impact of Cold Chest Pack on Cardiac Output, Stroke Volume, and Total Peripheral Resistance: A Counterbalanced, Randomized-Crossover Trial in Healthy Individuals”
• Scientific Reports: “Standardized massage interventions as protocols for the induction of psychophysiological relaxation in the laboratory: a block randomized, controlled trial”
• Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback: “Methods for Heart Rate Variability Biofeedback (HRVB): A Systematic Review and Guidelines”

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You’ve most likely heard of the theory six degrees of separation, which suggests that everyone on Earth is connected through a chain of no more than six people. Theoretically, that means you could trace your connection to just about anyone, whether it’s a person you just met in a foreign country, like I did, or a famous Hollywood star.

Of course, this concept is best illustrated with one particular Hollywood star, in the popular parlor game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, where players attempt to connect any actor to Kevin Bacon through the films on their résumé. For example, Christian Slater is just one degree away, having starred alongside Bacon in 1995’s Murder in the First. The late James Dean, meanwhile, is an iconic actor from generations ago, but he’s still just three degrees away—Dean appeared with Dennis Hopper in 1955’s Rebel Without a Cause, Hopper starred with Chris Penn in the 1993 movie True Romance, and Penn and Bacon were both in the ’80s classic Footloose.

Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon demonstrates how surprisingly short the paths between people can be. Still, there are some questions to consider. As a former celebrity journalist, for example, I once interviewed Bacon at a party. Does that count as a connection to him since it was so fleeting? And does the theory translate to everyday people around the globe, both with and without Kevin Bacon in the mix?

To get to the bottom of this, I spoke with Albert-László Barabási, PhD, who teaches at Northeastern University and Harvard Medical School and researches complex networks, and Jure Leskovec, PhD, a computer science professor at Stanford University. Read on to learn how the game got its start, plus whether the underlying concept behind Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon actually holds up to scientific scrutiny—and what it could mean for you.

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What’s the origin story behind Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon?

Three friends—Brian Turtle, Mike Ginelli and Craig Fass—came up with the concept as a college drinking game when they were students at Albright College in Pennsylvania more than 30 years ago. “We were just a couple of college guys who watched movies like JFK and Footloose, and found that in 1994, Kevin Bacon was everywhere,” Turtle said on the People of Play online gaming community of the pastime that “took on a life of its own.”

The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game, he joked, “was kind of a ‘stupid human trick,’” but it was one that got the college pals interviewed by everyone from Jon Stewart to Howard Stern. In 1996, the trio even created a board game, produced by the newly formed company Endless Games, where Turtle has worked ever since. “After graduation in ’95, I never thought I’d hear about [Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon] again, but it never went away!” he said.

Was this a brand-new concept?

Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon became popular in the 1990s, but the idea behind it is based on real research and theories that go back much further. In the 1960s, Yale psychologist Stanley Milgram conducted a “small world” experiment to explore how closely people were linked via their social networks. He asked participants to attempt to get letters to a specific person by forwarding them to acquaintances they believed might help get the letters closer to their destination. (More on how that experiment went in a minute.)

Does this theory actually hold up in the world at large?

The idea that actors can be linked to Kevin Bacon—or that two seemingly random people can be connected—through a short chain of acquaintances does indeed hold up. And those ties may be much smaller than six degrees, according to research. Here’s how it shakes out.

Six degrees of Kevin Bacon

You’d be hard-pressed not to find a connection between Bacon and nearly any other working actor. Because actors often appear in multiple films with different co-stars, their projects create a sprawling web of work that can be used to trace a path to Bacon.

Don’t believe it? The website Oracle of Bacon lets you enter an actor’s name and see how they’re connected to him, step by step. Even some pretty obscure actors in the database can be linked to Bacon through his network. Ever heard of the Croatian actor Rade Šerbedźija? Maybe not, but he’s just one degree from Bacon, thanks to the film X-Men: First Class.

Six degrees of anyone and everyone

The broader six degrees of separation theory can be applied to link anyone to Bacon. Yes, anyone—including you! Barabási, who’s a pioneer in network science, says we may be connected to almost anyone in the world not by six degrees, but by as few as three to four steps, even if only through a chain of acquaintances.

“A typical person knows about 1,000 people on a first-name basis, so there are roughly—and this is a simplification, but it works—1,000 × 1,000 people two handshakes away and 10^9 people (10 to the ninth power, or 1 followed by nine zeros) three handshakes away,” he says. For those who aren’t so mathematically inclined, that’s 1 million people two steps away, and 1 billion people three steps away, and each additional step expands that network exponentially. “That is the secret of six degrees.”

But throw in social media, and the definition of a connection makes the picture a little more complicated. According to Nature Reviews Physics, Milgram’s letter chains typically ranged from two to 10 links, but today’s technology and online social networks have reduced those connection numbers massively. Just think of all the people you’re technically “friends” with on Facebook or connected to on LinkedIn—and how many of those same people you wouldn’t recognize by name.

Leskovec, whose research spans network science, AI and machine learning, examined Microsoft’s instant-messaging network and found two people were separated by an average of 6.6 steps in the network of approximately 240 million people. “It does not mean everyone was directly connected,” he explains. “Rather, local circles overlap enough that only a handful of steps usually link people across the network.”

In 2016, Facebook revealed that the average separation between two users on its platform had shrunk to 3.57 degrees, down from 3.74 in 2011. That’s an incredibly small number on a network that spans billions of people, and it’s likely getting smaller. Still, a short chain of online connections doesn’t equate to really knowing someone.

So six degrees of separation isn’t a hard-and-fast rule, but the separation between people is shockingly small. “‘Six degrees’ is best understood as a memorable approximation of typical connectivity, not a universal upper bound,” Leskovec says.

How does Kevin Bacon feel about all of this?

Turtle, the man who co-created Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, says that the actor wasn’t thrilled with the game at first because “he thought we were making fun of him.”

That began to change in 1995, when Turtle and his friends were on The Jon Stewart Show to demonstrate their uncanny knack for tracing any Hollywood actor back to Bacon, who was also a guest on the program that night. “Somebody with a bigger ego might have told us to go pound sand, but Kevin warmed up to the game and even wound up writing a rather hilarious prologue to that bestselling paperback [on the topic],” Turtle wrote on People of Play.

Once Bacon realized the game was all in good fun, he embraced it and took the idea a step further by founding SixDegrees.org—a nonprofit foundation that uses storytelling and community-first campaigns to bring people together and fight disconnection in society.

What should you do with this idea?

Well, you probably shouldn’t call up Kevin Bacon and tell him you know him through a friend. But by all means, continue playing the game! It’s neat to think about the larger idea of discovering connections between people, whether it’s linking actors to Kevin Bacon or finding ties within our own social circles.

The concept also offers a great reminder that we’re all more connected than it may first appear. Through family relationships, friendships and even chance encounters, our seemingly separate worlds often overlap in surprising ways. As Bacon notes in a video for SixDegrees.org, it’s all about “thinking about the connections that we all have.”

And it’s important to keep in mind that those connections affect society, for better or worse. As Leskovec notes, “it matters because information, opportunities, behaviors (and sometimes misinformation or disease) can spread across a large population very quickly.” In other words, the world is small and our influence is outsized, so go forth and do good.

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on how Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon got its start, Aaron Rasmussen tapped his experience as a longtime journalist who frequently writes about entertainment, common curiosities and travel for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• Albert-László Barabási, PhD, distinguished professor at Northeastern University and faculty member in the Division of Network Medicine at Harvard Medical School; email interview, October 2026
• Jure Leskovec, PhD, computer science professor at Stanford University; email interview, October 2026
• People of Play: “The Bloom Report: Brian Turtle: ‘Endless’ Stories, Advice, Kevin Bacon and More!”
• APS Journals: “Physical Review X: Why Are There Six Degrees of Separation in a Social Network?”
• Facebook: “Friends Day: Celebrating the Importance of Connections”
• The Oracle of Bacon
• Nature Reviews Physics: “Networks with Exactly Six Degrees of Separation”
• YouTube: “The Untold Story Behind SixDegrees.org”

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Madeline Alford, 35, co-owner of Mimi’s Needlepoint, is amazed by it all. A few years ago, she left her career in New York City and moved back to Dallas after spending more than 10 years in what she describes as “the corporate grind of working 8 to 6, coming home, doomscrolling, watching the news and going to bed, and then doing it all over again,” before she and her cousin ­Amelia Alford, 30, decided to do something different. They started an online canvas design company that has grown into a brick-and-mortar store—and now a community. “It’s a third place,” Alford says, “somewhere people can come and hang out, make friends and learn this very analog craft.” (The sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined the term third place in 1989 to describe somewhere that isn’t home or work.)

According to Alford, the biggest challenge since opening their doors has been the supply chain, which tells you something about this growing movement. Needlepoint has exploded so fast, she explains, that there’s a shortage of the canvas itself. Thread is hard to come by too. “You’ll go to needlepoint stores, and none of us are fully stocked,” she says.

Something is happening across America, and not just with needlepoint.

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The rise of old-school hobbies

Over the past few years, younger generations have taken up so-called “old-school” hobbies with gusto. Gen Zers are joining knitting and mahjong clubs in numbers that are surprising even to the people who run these groups. And Millennials are buying landlines for their kids to delay giving them smartphones. Independent bookstores and specialty magazine stores are popping up in cities across the country. Pen pals are coming back into fashion. Bird-watching has taken flight. Bread baking is on the rise. The common thread here is tactile activities, which more people are seeking out as they shy away from screen time.

Those who study leisure and well-being aren’t surprised. Research published in the journal Nature Medicine in 2023 found that people who reported having at least one hobby showed fewer symptoms of depression and higher levels of happiness, health and life satisfaction. A separate study published in the Journal of Global Health in 2025 found that adults who engaged in regular hobbies had a 29% lower risk of mortality. But the benefits, researchers note, aren’t limited to a single age group or hobby.

Robert Waldinger, MD, is a psychiatrist and the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which is one of the longest-running studies of human happiness ever conducted. Dr. Waldinger has spent decades trying to understand what makes people thrive, and his research keeps pointing to the same answer: other people.

“When we asked people in their 80s what they were proudest of,” he says, “it was always about people. It was always, ‘I was a good spouse. I was a good parent. I was a good mentor.’ It was never about winning a prize or making money.” But personal connection feels more elusive than ever. Part of the problem, says Dr. Waldinger, is what the digital world does to our perception of reality.

“Never before,” he explains, “have we been as confused and uncertain about what’s real. Is this person online real, or is it a bot? What am I seeing in the news? What am I not seeing?” That constant uncertainty, he explains, is corrosive to our well-being. But in person, the doubt dissolves. “I see with my eyes,” he says. “It’s tangible. I believe it. I see who this person is.”

Connections in real life

Lindsay Degen, 38, first tried knitting as a child. Her grandmother taught her how to cast on and cast off, but they didn’t live close to each other, so the lessons happened sporadically, during visits. Over the years, Degen developed an interest in fashion and went on to study textiles at Rhode Island School of Design, then launched a knitting club over Zoom during COVID-19 because she felt isolated at home.

That group was small at first, but it quickly grew into an online community that she named Knit Club. In 2024, she opened a brick-and-mortar store with the same name in Providence, Rhode Island. Its calendar is packed with knitting circles, beginner boot camps and a roster of events that pair knitting with just about anything: Lord of the Rings marathons. Drag nights. Purl and Swirl gatherings with wine from the shop down the street.

The store hosts free Craft Circles twice a week. “The one on Tuesday is rowdy,” Degen says, smiling, “while the one on Sunday is chill and sweet.” Both draw college students, 70-­somethings and everyone in between. The motto is “All Crafters Welcome!” You don’t even have to knit: “You can show up and draw,” says Degen. “You can do anything you want, as long as it’s not wet.”

Degen admits knitting blurs the line between her work and her leisure, but that’s part of the attraction: “I’ve made my job out of my hobby, so I go home from work and I knit … but then am I actually still at my job?”

She suspects a lot of people share that restlessness. What knitting offers, she says, is visible, measurable progress as you see something building, row by row. “A lot of people say knitting is Zen,” she says. “I don’t think that’s necessarily true when you’re a beginner. It can be really challenging. But overcoming the challenge and seeing your thing build is super rewarding.”

One of the things Degen values most about knitting is that it keeps her present. “I’ll be talking to someone, and I’ll just start scrolling,” she says, “and then I’ll think, Wait, what am I doing? I’m talking to you.”

Having something to do with her hands, she’s found, solves that. You can carry on a full conversation while stitching. You don’t need to make eye contact if you’d rather not. There’s a shared experience, and that often turns out to be enough to start a friendship. “You have an immediate thing to talk about,” she says. “But the very sweet thing about it is where the relationship ends up.” One of the people who joined Degen’s original Zoom circle in 2020 was a woman named Vanessa Krebs, calling in from Waco, Texas. The two hit it off. Eventually, Krebs moved to Providence and is now the manager of Knit Club. “Doing something like knitting together is a great way to make adult friends,” Degen says. “Because making adult friends is hard.”

The power of proximity

Tina Roth Eisenberg, 52, had that same thought about 20 years ago. A Swiss-born graphic designer, she had moved to New York City in 1999. Wanting to meet other creative people, she figured the best way to find them was to bring people together herself. So in 2008 she started a free monthly breakfast lecture series, which has grown into the world’s largest face-to-face creative community. Called CreativeMornings, it’s a global network with chapters in more than 252 cities across 70 countries. (Find a map at ­creativemornings.com.)

Part of what fuels ­CreativeMornings’ success is a collective appetite for in-person gatherings, and Eisenberg has a theory as to why that appetite is intensifying. The rise of AI, she says, has put our discernment on constant high alert, and digital spaces have started to feel stressful. “It’s exhausting, this constant Can I trust this? Is this real?” she says. “The only thing that you can trust at this point is being present in front of someone.” Beyond trust, something special happens in person that can’t quite be replicated online. “I really believe in the energy of sharing a loving space,” Eisenberg says. “That’s where our hearts connect.”

Recognizing the growing desire for in-person events, ­CreativeMornings launched a volunteer-led series in 2024 called Clubs, organized around single activities and designed to be even more local and more recurring than the monthly breakfasts. No matter the focus of each club (it could be sending snail mail, junk journaling or swapping skills), the through line is consistent: People want more intentional, more tactile ways to spend time together. Video editor and freelance photographer Nelson Luna, 37, was one of the first to sign up to run a CreativeMornings club.

A self-proclaimed introvert, he has come to understand the impact the in-person creative community has had over his past three years as the volunteer photographer for New York City’s CreativeMornings chapter. So he started PhotograPals, a casual “photowalk” club that meets every other Saturday to walk around different local neighborhoods and take photographs with cameras or phones.

The rules are minimal by design. The group meets at a locally owned coffee shop. People do a round of introductions. Then they walk. They take photos—or they don’t. Mostly they talk. Luna deliberately doesn’t mention at the club that he shoots professionally. When people discover this and ask him for advice, he’s happy to give them pointers after the club ends. But during the walks, the cameras are beside the point, he says, since “the important part is spending time face to face in good company.”

And that concept works. Club members have shown up to one another’s birthday parties. And when one regular was featured in a photography exhibition at her church, a group of her PhotograPals came to support her. Luna, who signed up to host because he wanted to build community, has found that the community has built him a little bit too. “Ever since I started my club,” he says, “I’ve been getting dragged into being more of an extrovert.”

A technological springboard

Ask anyone engaging in these analog activities why they’re suddenly so in demand, and you’ll hear the same things: The pandemic drove people to use their hands—to bake sourdough, to play a musical instrument, to try knitting—and the habits stuck. But the community aspect, which was impossible during isolation, turned out to be the thing people craved even more. Once the world reopened, they went looking for it.

Then there’s something harder to name, but everyone seems to feel it. “What we do to build community, to create our own joy and share it with other people,” Luna says, “that’s its own form of resistance when it comes to the narrative of divisiveness.” Degen echoes this. She says she wants people to think of Knit Club as “this place that sometimes you come for free and sometimes you’re paying for a class, but either way, you’re welcome here and you’re supporting your local community.”

As for an overabundance of screens driving people to take up these hobbies, technology still has a role to play here. Social media is how needlepoint found its new audience in the first place. Mimi’s Needlepoint went from having a few hundred followers on Instagram to 17,000 in just over a year; the account is how many in Dallas discovered the store. Degen uses online tools to make knitting more accessible—for example, by posting YouTube tutorials. And ­CreativeMornings relies on its digital platform for club sign-ups.

So it’s not that people are rejecting technology outright. But they are pushing against the idea of being always online, always scrolling, always reacting to something an algorithm put in front of them. The hobby—the club, the walk, the sip-and-stitch event—is more rewarding and meaningful to people because they’re choosing it for themselves.

Back in Dallas, the women who have gathered at Mimi’s Needlepoint are already planning their next get-together. And Madeline Alford is ready to join them. She started doing needlepoint for the simplest of reasons: to make a handmade Christmas ornament each year for her goddaughter. One stitch at a time, it grew into something bigger than she ever expected.

“We’re really proud that we’ve made a space where people are finding friendship,” she says. “It’s amazing to see the community and the pride of making something with your own hands. You can’t replicate that.”

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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Thus far, I have not punched him, but every sneeze startles me so badly that I fear the day is coming. I don’t want to be the first person convicted of assaulting someone for having a functioning respiratory system, but I also can’t comfortably rule it out.

If you’ve never been around a scream sneezer, I envy your innocence. They are a small but disproportionately terrifying percentage of the population, and once you’ve encountered one, your nervous system is permanently changed. You will forever brace yourself whenever someone in the vicinity inhales a little too deeply because a perfectly ordinary sneeze becomes a potential jump scare.

So, yes, scream sneezing is certainly alarming. And frustrating. And annoying. And an affront to “use your indoor voice.” But is it actually rude? After all, my loved one—yes, I still love him—swears that he isn’t trying to be so loud. He claims that his sneezes simply emerge dramatically, like a firework going off in a library. He swears he is not deliberately trying to frighten small children or make the dog question its place in the universe. I am not so sure.

Let’s chat about this.
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Why scream sneezing feels rude

I am not the only person bothered by scream sneezes, and generally speaking, anything that makes a significant portion of the population want to throw a shoe at you deserves at least an etiquette investigation. So why does it feel so rude? Two factors: loudness and germs.

Scream sneezes aren’t just loud; they are loud loud. A study conducted by Noise Measurement Systems found that the average male sneeze is around 90 decibels when measured from 2 feet away. That’s roughly as loud as a blender running at full speed, except the blender has the decency to have a lid. The noise level does depend on the sneezer’s physiology—smaller lungs make quieter sneezes, for instance—so if the average is at 90 decibels, then scream sneezers could be entering jet-engine territory. So while I couldn’t find exact numbers for the volume of my loved one’s scream sneezes, I can report that he has made me question whether our windows are double-paned.

A sneeze is not merely a noise. It is a biological event involving a rapidly expelled mixture of droplets and particles and … other, potentially infectious, things. MIT researchers studying sneeze dynamics found that larger droplets can travel several feet, while smaller particles may travel up to 20 feet, depending on conditions. The exact distance depends on the sneeze and the surrounding environment, and we don’t know that a louder sneeze necessarily sends germs farther. Still, if someone is going to unleash a respiratory weather event in your direction, you would prefer they at least attempt to contain it.

A scream sneeze, then, combines two of the most universally disliked things in public life: an unnecessarily loud noise and the possibility of being involuntarily included in someone else’s germ-distribution system.

The case for scream sneezing being fine

My loved one claims that because sneezing is a natural bodily function, it is exempt from etiquette. This is an interesting legal defense. I look forward to hearing him explain it to the next person who crop-dusts an elevator. Natural bodily functions are not, in fact, exempt from etiquette. We have rules about all sorts of them.

• Farting: Releasing a silent but deadly cloud into a crowded room and then walking away is generally frowned upon. Whenever possible, take your business elsewhere.
• Burping: A burp may escape involuntarily, but you generally shouldn’t belch like a medieval king at a dinner party. If one gets away from you, a quick “Excuse me” is appropriate.
• Nose picking: Your nostrils are yours to manage, but the rest of us do not need a front-row seat to the maintenance.
• Nail clipping: Even if your nails have grown to the length of talons, public transit is not a mobile manicure salon.

Etiquette does not require us to pretend our bodies don’t do strange things. It asks us to manage those things with reasonable consideration for everyone else.

Of course, not all bodily functions are equally controllable. Sneezing is a reflex, and trying to forcibly suppress a sneeze can actually be harmful, potentially damaging your eardrums and even rupturing blood vessels in extreme cases, according to the Cleveland Clinic. We should not expect anyone to achieve perfect control over something their body does without permission. But the question isn’t whether or not sneezing is rude—as long as you cover your mouth, you’re fine—but the screaming aspect of it.

I couldn’t find any research about how much control people have over the volume of their sneezes. Researchers have apparently been too busy studying important things like the trajectory of airborne pathogens to settle the disputes that actually matter to society. And I’m willing to entertain the possibility that some people genuinely cannot reduce the volume much. We all have different bodies, reflexes and medical circumstances.

But I also suspect that some scream sneezers have simply never considered whether they could do anything differently. When you’ve spent your entire life sneezing like a car backfiring, it may not occur to you that other people find it startling.

So, no, you cannot reasonably be expected to control what you genuinely cannot control. But you also can be reasonably expected to care about the effect you have on other people—especially when that effect may result in a mini cardiac event or a shower of germs.

How to scream sneeze without being rude

My loved one scream sneezes straight into whatever or whoever is in front of him. He says the sneeze comes on so quickly that he can’t do anything about it. He also dislikes covering his mouth because then he gets snot on his hands. This is the part of his argument I find particularly compelling, in the sense that I find it compelling evidence that he has misunderstood the entire purpose of etiquette. He would rather distribute his mucus among innocent bystanders than briefly inconvenience himself.

A big part of scream sneezing is where it is happening and who is affected. For instance, if you’re at home by yourself, do whatever you like. But once others are around, especially if it’s in a crowded, public venue, that changes the noise calculus. It also matters who is around you. A scream sneeze is more consequential around sleeping babies, startled animals, people with sensory sensitivities or anyone who may be particularly vulnerable to respiratory infections.

Similar to the etiquette around telling someone you’re sick, the etiquette requirements here are not especially demanding.

• Warn. Some sneezes surprise everyone, including the sneezer themselves. But often you do have a bit of warning that one is coming. Use this time to warn people around you (“Sneeze incoming!”) and turn or move away to minimize the blast zone.
• Cover. You should always cover your sneeze. If you have time to grab a tissue, great. Otherwise, sneezing into your sleeve, the collar of your T-shirt or even your hands is better than just letting it fly through the air. Yes, you may get snot on yourself. This is a regrettable but manageable consequence of having a nose. (And please sanitize your hands afterward.)
• Muffle. At least try to do something to reduce the noise level of the sneeze, whether that’s quickly walking into another room or using something to muffle your scream, like a towel or thick coat to sneeze into. That said, nobody needs to contort themselves into a pretzel trying to silence a reflex. The goal is reasonable consideration, not sneeze perfection.
• Prevent. My loved one sneezes a lot due to allergies yet can’t remember to take the medication that would reduce all of his allergy symptoms, scream sneezing included. If allergies regularly turn you into a human confetti cannon, consider managing them with appropriate measures or discussing treatment options with a health-care professional. You don’t need to medicate yourself solely to make other people happy, but reducing symptoms may improve your own comfort as well as the comfort of those around you.
• Apologize. If you do happen to scream sneeze and startle and/or spray everyone, just offer a quick “I’m so sorry!” An apology is not an admission of guilt. It is simply a way of saying “I recognize that you were just minding your business when my face suddenly became a percussion instrument.”
• Clean. Just because you do it in public does not make it a community art installation. If you’ve sprayed mucus onto a table, counter or other shared surface, wipe it up appropriately and wash your hands.

What to do if you’re on the receiving end of a scream sneeze

I don’t know about you, but my first reaction when I’m startled is fear, anger and the desire to investigate whether I’m legally permitted to throw something. But punching the sneezer would definitely be rude—far ruder than the scream sneeze itself. It is also rude to shame someone, mock their medical circumstances or insist that they must be doing it on purpose. Even if you (and I) suspect that a person could control the volume at least somewhat, we cannot know what is happening inside their body. Offer grace … and perhaps a tissue.

If the behavior is genuinely affecting you, especially if the person repeatedly sneezes uncovered in your direction, it is reasonable to ask them to cover their mouth or turn away.

The verdict

Scream sneezing is not inherently rude, but refusing to do anything to mitigate it is. While sneezing is a reflex, involuntary does not equal consequence-free. My ruling? The sneeze itself is innocent; the mucus distribution strategy is where things get legally interesting. My loved one, for instance, may be acquitted of the noise charge due to insufficient evidence of intent. But the charge of sneezing directly onto other people because he doesn’t want to get snot on his own hands? That case is going to trial.

And I would like the record to show that the dog is available as a witness.

Have a social situation you can’t stop ruminating on? Email us at advice@tmbi.com, or message Charlotte on Instagram at @CharlotteHiltonAndersen.

Why trust us

Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• MIT: “Violent expiratory events: on coughing and sneezing”
• ABC News: “Can you control how loud you sneeze?”
• Cleveland Clinic: “Can Holding in a Sneeze Hurt You?”

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If you’re expecting a baby this year, or you’re just here to see what’s happening in the baby-naming world (why wouldn’t you be?), we have the top baby names of 2026 from the absolute authority: BabyCenter. I got the scoop from Steph Coffield, BabyCenter’s baby-name advisor, who breaks down the most popular names and lets us in on why these names are so big right now. Read on to squee over the top baby names of 2026.

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How did BabyCenter determine the most popular baby names?

These popular baby names come straight from mom and dad. “Hundreds of thousands of parents register their babies’ names on BabyCenter every year,” Coffield says. “That data is updated on our app and website every month, giving us an up-to-date look at which names are rising and falling.”

You may know that the Social Security Administration (SSA) puts out a list every year too, but Coffield says the SSA only updates its data once per year, and we won’t find out what 2026’s top baby names are until May 2027. “Our data gives parents an early look at what’s trending now, so they can make an informed decision about their baby’s name.”

What are the top baby names of 2026?

For the fourth year in a row, Olivia and Noah are the reigning champs. Olivia has been steadily climbing for more than a quarter-century (she was sitting at No. 16 back in 2000), and it’s going to be hard to knock this pretty name off the top of the charts. Noah is equally enduring, taking the top spot from Liam in 2022 after being in the top 10 for years.

“Once a name makes it to the No. 1 spot, it usually sticks around for a while,” Coffield says. “Olivia and Noah are both beautiful names, which helps explain why they’ve been popular for so long.” Plus, Coffield says “parents have been really in love with vowel-heavy names for a few years now, and Olivia and Noah fit that bill.”

Were there any new additions to the top 10?

Evelyn is back, baby! This sweet name is at No. 9 this year after last being being spied in the top 10 in 2023. The rest of the girls’ top 10 is filled with familiar faces, though there was some jockeying for position.

For boys, Elias made the top 10 for the first time ever, rising 8 spots to sit at No. 7. The top 5 boys names have remained unchanged for three years, but Asher and Luca dropped out of the top 10 to make room for Elias and Leo, who was last seen in the top 10 in 2024.

The top 20 girl names

Coffield says names starting with E are “super popular” this year—a full quarter of the top 20 girl names start with this letter. Case in point: Eliana, which made huge moves in 2026, jumping five spots to No. 2. Longer names are also surging, and soft-sounding names that end in vowels are still going strong. “Eliana has all of that: It’s long, soft, melodic and it starts with E. That’s why it’s having such a big moment this year.”

Here are the top 20 girl names for 2026:

• Olivia
• Eliana
• Amelia
• Charlotte
• Sophia
• Isabella
• Emma
• Aurora
• Evelyn
• Mia
• Ellie
• Lily
• Violet
• Sofia
• Hazel
• Ava
• Aria
• Luna
• Ella
• Willow

The top 20 boy names

This group doesn’t see as much movement as the girls’ list, but all of them would be perfect for your new baby. “Parents are a lot less experimental with boy names than with girl names, generally speaking,” Coffield says. “They’re more likely to choose a boy name that’s established, feels classic and will stand the test of time.”

Here are the top 20 boy names for 2026:

• Noah
• Liam
• Oliver
• Elijah
• Mateo
• Lucas
• Elias
• Levi
• Ezra
• Leo
• Asher
• Luca
• Henry
• Hudson
• Theodore
• James
• Sebastian
• Samuel
• Waylon
• Daniel

Were there any big surprises in the top 100?

Oh, yeah. Several longtime faves are out of the top 100, including Leah and Ryan, and one brand-new name hit the charts: Magnolia, which jumped an impressive 40 spots to No. 88. Four boy names made the top 100 for the first time: Archer (No. 96), Stetson (No. 95), Milo (No. 89) and Dean, which sneaked in at No. 100 for the first time this century.

Coffield says these last three boy names each tap into a different trend. “Stetson is a rugged cowboy name that evokes the Wild West. Dean is having a pop-culture comeback, thanks to the characters on the new hit show Off Campus and the nostalgic classic Gilmore Girls. And Milo has that vowel-heavy, soft sound parents are loving right now.”

Longer names are also on the rise, with 29% of girl names and 31% of boy names clocking in at more than seven letters. “Baby-name trends are cyclical, and the pendulum always swings back,” Coffield says. “After a few years of short names dominating the charts, parents are looking for names that feel new and different, so they’re gravitating toward longer names.”

What baby-naming trends will we see in 2027?

Pop culture has a major influence on baby-name trends, and next year, many parents will likely be borrowing from hit movies and must-see TV. Some of these baby names haven’t been heard in years! Here are some trends to watch for in 2027, according to Coffield and BabyCenter.

• Gilmore Girls: Dean, a name that hasn’t been widespread since the 1950s and ’60s, is seeing a major comeback thanks to GG rewatches and the new documentary that’s in the works, and BabyCenter expects that to continue in 2027. Other Gilmore Girls names that moved up in 2026 and should continue to climb next year are Rory, Lorelai, Christopher and Luke.
• Hockey drama: Another show that propelled Dean into the top 100 is the wildly popular Off Campus on Amazon Prime. With Season 2 set to premiere in 2027, Coffield expects names from this series to keep rising. Beau is already in the top 100, at No. 57, but Garrett, Allie and Jules could see big moves too. And Ilya, from that other hockey show, Heated Rivalry, is up an incredible 6,000-plus spots in 2026, so keep your eye on it for 2027.
• Greek gods: Christopher Nolan’s summer blockbuster The Odyssey seems to have sparked an interest in Greek mythology, with parents increasingly choosing names like Atlas, Ares, Titan and Troy for boys, and Iris, Lydia, Daphne and Gaia for girls. Odysseus himself is up nearly 1,500 spots, and Coffield expects this trend to continue into 2027.
• “X” marks the spot: Names with X’s in the middle, like Jaxson (which reentered the top 100 in 2026), Braxton and the wonderful Maximillian are all trending right now. Other “X” names to watch in 2027 include Knox and Xaiden for boys, and Xolani, Alexandra and Bexley for girls. Onyx and Huxley actually made both lists in 2026, giving parents looking for more gender-neutral names plenty of choices.
• Wild West resurgence: We mentioned Stetson and Archer earlier, but other Western-themed names that should keep rising in 2027 include Walker, Gunner and Wilder (possibly a nod to the Little House on the Prairie reboot) for boys, and Sadie, Tatum, Oakley and Cassidy for girls.
• Bye-bye, Taylor: Maybe it’s all the lettuce recalls, or perhaps Miss Swift has finally reached peak saturation, but Taylor has dropped to its lowest point for both girls (No. 399) and boys (No. 1,093) since BabyCenter began releasing its top-baby-name lists, according to Coffield.

Sources:

• Steph Coffield, baby-name advisor for BabyCenter; email interview, Oct. 29, 2026
• BabyCenter: “The top trends that’ll influence baby names in 2027”
• BabyCenter: “The most popular baby names of 2026”

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The post These Are the Most Popular Baby Names of 2026—Can You Guess What’s in the Top 10? appeared first on Reader's Digest.

On top of that, the 40-year-old firefighter carried the fear that at any moment he might see the basket of a hot-air balloon that had collided with the tower plummet past him with two people in it. If that happened, he would know he hadn’t climbed fast enough.

Rescue workers get called to crash sites all the time. That’s part of the job. But for Patrick and 13 other responders from the Longview Fire Department making their way up the tower, this crash site was 925 feet off the ground.

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A picture-perfect start to the day

Rick James, 73, and Megan Rey­nolds, 38, had flown hot-air balloons together too many times to count. They had known each other since Reynolds was in grade school and her mother was on the board of directors at the Great Texas Balloon Race, which Longview hosts every summer.

James, an East Texas native and a longtime financial adviser with Morgan Stanley, began crewing for balloons in the race in 1980. In 2003, he took his hobby to the next level and got licensed as a balloon pilot. When he and Reynolds, a medical assistant for a dermatology practice in Marshall, Texas, lifted off around 7 a.m. on Saturday, Feb. 28, they were looking forward to a relaxing weekend soaring through the Texas skies.

James’s balloon, with its checkerboard pattern of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple and pink, was one of seven that launched together from an elementary school on the southeast side of Longview. The group planned to fly for a little over an hour in the gentle breeze, which was blowing at about 10 mph.

As James and Reynolds coasted along for the better part of an hour, they soaked in the beauty of the clear, mostly blue sky and shared a casual conversation. Floating 500 feet off the ground, they could hear dogs barking as the enormous balloons passed overhead.

The collision

Around 8 a.m., James started looking for an open area where they could land. In the distance, he saw the 1,098-foot FM radio tower—about the same height as New York City’s Chrysler Building—but he barely gave it a second thought. “I don’t have a place to land here—I’m just gonna fly over the tower,” James ­radioed to his eldest daughter, Lindsay, who, as part of his two-person chase crew, was tracking her dad’s movements from a van.

He turned the wooden handle of the propane-fueled burner, sending flames up into the canopy to ease the balloon upward. But as they ascended, the wind increased to 24 mph, pushing them hard toward the tower. James, unable to see the top of the tower because the balloon was blocking his view, was certain they’d be fine. “Right up until the last three or four seconds, I thought we were gonna clear the tower,” he says.

Then one side of the balloon collided with the crow’s nest, a small balcony jutting out from the triangular steel tower, puncturing the nylon fabric. The other side of the balloon wrapped itself around a guy wire stretching diagonally from the top of the tower to the ground. The impact of the collision knocked Reynolds to the floor of the basket, while James kept his balance by grabbing hold of one of the corner uprights. “Are you OK?” he asked her.

Reynolds paused to get her bearings. “Yeah, I think I skinned my leg a little bit, but I’m fine.”

They couldn’t see exactly what the balloon was hanging from. All they knew was that their brown wicker basket was lurching back and forth in the wind, about 10 feet from the side of the tower and terrifyingly high above the ground. They prayed that whatever was holding them up there wouldn’t release its grip.

The call to action

Earlier that morning, Longview Fire Department Chief Jon-Eric Johnson, 41, sat down for breakfast with a co-worker. They tossed out hypotheticals, wondering what calls their shift that day might bring. Johnson saw a hot-air balloon drifting nearby and posited, “What if we go on a hot-air-balloon incident?”

Not more than 20 minutes later, the department’s dispatcher called Johnson’s cell. “Hey, we got a pretty serious event,” she said. “We think a hot-air balloon has crashed.” Witnesses on the ground, including James’s chase crew, were calling 911to report an unbelievable scene—a balloon had struck the communications tower. The details were all over the place. Some callers said the balloon was caught 100 feet up the tower, others said 500. Some said one person was in the basket; others said five.

Johnson got some answers for himself when he and his fellow rescue workers pulled out of the station. From 2 miles away, he could see, clear as day, James’s balloon snagged near the top.

Longview and the surrounding area are home to about 150 communications towers, so the fire department has rope-rescue experts on staff, including Cliff Patrick and his longtime friend Lt. Stephen Winchell. Patrick was at home, making pancakes for his three young kids, when he got a text from the department about a balloon accident.

He texted Johnson: “I can be there in about 30 minutes.” Johnson called and gave him the address. That’s when Patrick realized which tower Johnson was talking about. A rescue near the top of it had only ever been a hypothetical. Now it was reality.

A race against the clock

As Reynolds sat in the basket, trying not to shift her weight and put additional strain on whatever was holding them there, James got to work. First, he shut off the balloon’s propane valves—there was no sense in keeping that dangerous gas flowing. Next, he realized he had to do something about the way the basket was swinging in the wind. He grabbed their drop line—a 150-foot rope that could be lowered to the chase crew to control the balloon’s landing—and around the end of it tied a handle, one similar to what a water-skier holds. Then he tossed the handle toward the tower. On the third attempt, it caught against one of the struts. James held on to the other end to steady the basket.

Every 10 minutes or so, the handle would come loose, and James would toss it over again. He didn’t mind the work—it occupied his mind and helped settle his nerves. Reynolds, too, was struggling to stay calm. “At first, it was sheer panic,” she says. From the bottom of the basket, she would occasionally hear the balloon’s fabric ripping, she remembers.

About 20 minutes after the balloon crashed into the tower, Johnson and his crew arrived with bolt cutters and cut through the padlocked perimeter fence around the tower. They forced entry into the building and killed the power—the tower had been pumping out 100,000 watts of electricity from its main antenna, just 43 feet above where the balloon was entangled.

Johnson got the phone numbers of the trapped balloonists from dispatch. He called James three times, but it kept going to voicemail. That’s because after James phoned his wife, Lori James, to tell her what had happened and to ask her to update their other kids, he started getting calls from other balloonists, and—not wanting to be distracted from the important work of steadying the basket—he had put the phone in his pocket and was ignoring it.

Next, Johnson called Reynolds, who picked up. “Hey, this is Chief Johnson,” he said. “We’re here. Can you tell me how many people are in the basket? Are you injured?” He got the key details from Reynolds, then asked to speak to James, who told the fire chief that he thought two of the four main cables between the basket and the balloon had broken. While they were talking, a third cable snapped. James and Reynolds felt the basket drop a few inches and swing wildly.

“Listen, we are coming for you,” Johnson said. “But I want to be honest. It’s probably gonna take about an hour to get to you.” That was an educated guess. None of his firefighters had ever climbed 925 feet before. None of them had ever climbed half that high.

The 900-foot climb

With about 50 pounds of gear strapped to his back, including a 300-foot rope, Brayden Pointer was the first firefighter to start the climb up the tower, just before 9 a.m. At the same time, police drones were deployed to give the team a view of the crash site and take measurements: The vertical climb would be a little over 900 feet. Most of the rescue team’s ropes were 200 feet in length, so groups of two or three rescuers would have to be spaced out at precise spots on the tower. Their job: to lower the balloonists to the ground using pulleys and ropes.

Shortly after Pointer and four other firefighters started climbing up the tower, rope rescue specialists Patrick and Winchell arrived on the scene. They were given relatively little to carry so that they could get to the crash scene as quickly as possible. The climbers wore wide lanyards hooked to harnesses, allowing them to execute a technique known as clip climbing. Every couple of rungs, they had to reach down and undo one of two safety clips shaped something like lobster claws, then reach up and clip it to a higher rung. Step up, unclip, re-clip. Painstaking. Meticulous. Exhausting.

With his adrenaline pumping, Patrick quickly climbed the first 100 or so feet. Then fatigue set in. “I was probably stopping to shake out my forearms and shoulders every 50 or 60 feet after that,” he says. “And all the while, I was thinking about how to burn only 80% of my energy to get there, because I had to save 20% to actually make the rescue.”

To cut the tension as they climbed, Winchell hollered down to Patrick, “Have I ever told you I don’t love heights?” It was a joke based on the truth—Patrick knew that his climbing buddy had never fully gotten over his long-standing fear of heights. Winchell just worked around it, especially when lives were on the line.

On the ground, Capt. Ramey Blalock was given the job of talking to Reynolds on the phone. He stayed on the line with her for more than an hour. “I’m sure that Capt. Blalock got tired of me asking ‘Where are they?’ and ‘How long do you think it’s gonna be?’ ” Reynolds says. “But talking to him for the whole time kept me really calm.”

A little after 10 a.m., just as Pointer came into view 40 feet below the basket, James thought he felt the last of the main cables snap. “Look, we’re hanging only by fabric now,” he shouted to Pointer, who had stopped to catch his breath. “Please get up here and tie us off as soon as you can.”

Pointer powered through, got level with the basket and tied the balloon’s drop rope tight to the tower. Then he pulled a half-inch static kernmantle rope with a minimum breaking strength of 9,000 pounds from his pack and tossed one end to James, who tied it onto the basket while the firefighter secured the other end to the tower. With the rugged horizontal safety line in place, James got his barely suppressed panic under control. “That was the first time in two hours that I felt comfortable that I was not going to die,” he says.

Feeling more secure, Reynolds stood up, startling Pointer, who’d had no idea a second person was in the basket. “OK, I’m ready to get out now,” she declared before sitting back down.

The daring rescue

Patrick and Winchell arrived soon after. The rescue workers clipped two harnesses to the rope that Pointer had established and slid them across to the basket. They gave James and Reynolds instructions for how to put the harnesses on, including cinching the leg hoops and buckling on the belts. Then Patrick climbed even higher and attached a second rescue rope to the tower 30 feet above the basket, so they could swing across like a pendulum. The firefighters hadn’t brought protective helmets for James and Reynolds, so Winchell and Patrick took off their own helmets and sent them across to the balloonists.

Next, Winchell, who later referred to this as the Super Bowl of rope rescue, climbed to the exterior of the tower and clipped in, ready to help James and Reynolds and to be, as he put it, “a human bumper if needed.” Given his fear of heights, he admits that he didn’t relish stepping onto the outer edge of the tower. “But it was clear to me what needed to be done,” he says. “I did what rescuers do every day: I turned down that voice in my head.”

James and Reynolds weren’t out of danger yet. If the basket ripped from the balloon and tipped over, they could still fall more than 900 feet to the ground below. Harnessed and helmeted, they were ready to embark on the high-wire ride of their lives. “Who wants to go first?” Winchell called across. Reynolds volunteered, and James agreed. “I felt responsible for putting Megan in this predicament,” he says.

Reynolds clipped the loop at the top of her harness to the high-point rope, which Patrick was manning, and sat backward on the edge of the basket. James held her feet and guided her out as she grabbed the horizontal rope, which stretched straight across to the tower. Refusing to look down, she swung on the high rope toward the tower in a seated position—sliding along, hand over hand on the horizontal rope to steady herself, all the while dangling 900 feet above the ground.

After what felt like an eternity (but was actually just a few seconds), Winchell was guiding her inside the metal structure. She unclipped from the rope and clipped onto the tower. “It was night and day once she got across,” Patrick recalls. “She thought she was gonna die in that basket, but once she got inside the tower, she was calm, collected, 100% able to follow commands.”

Next, it was James’s turn. He hooked his harness onto the line, stepped to the edge of the basket, turned his back to the tower and made his way across, his body swinging in the wind. Then Winchell grabbed hold of him and steered him into the tower. At 10:58 a.m., a little less than three hours after the balloon crashed, James and Reynolds were safe and secure, and thanking their rescuers profusely. But they still had 900 feet to go.

The firefighters’ plan was to lower James and Reynolds, still in their harnesses, a couple hundred feet at a time by hand, using ropes and pulleys. The rescuers agreed that the 73-year-old should get to the ground first, even though he was doing just fine physically. He also had family, including Lori and Lindsay, waiting below. The slow, careful descent began. At the first changeover point a couple hundred feet below, two firefighters hooked James into a safety clip attached to the tower, unclipped him from the first set of ropes and attached him to the second set.

“Have y’all ever done this before?” James asked the rescuers. “Yes,” came the response. “But not from this height.” Once James was on the second set of ropes, Reynolds began her descent. As the pair got closer to the ground, the mood turned lighter—at one of the stations, Capt. Clint Steelman told Reynolds he was hungry and asked if she had a cheeseburger.

An unforgettable ordeal

Once James and Reynolds completed the transition off the first set of ropes, Patrick looked out and saw the car of his wife, Christen Patrick, about a quarter-mile away at an Exxon station, where a crowd of nearly 100 people had gathered to watch the rescue. He gave her a high-altitude FaceTime call that the two of them and their kids will never forget.

Patrick, Winchell, Pointer and the other rescuers on the tower heard two explosions of cheers: one at 12:24 p.m. when James set foot on the ground, and another 18 minutes later when Reynolds stepped off the tower. “Get me out of this harness right now!” a relieved Reynolds said when her shoes touched earth.

Both balloonists were taken to Longview Regional Medical Center. They were just fine physically and were soon released—Reynolds that afternoon and James, given his age, the following morning. But the work on the tower wasn’t over quite yet.

“As soon as the survivors got on the ground, my stress level actually increased tremendously,” Johnson says, “because I knew that we had 14 guys still up on the tower who were mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.” One by one, the rescuers clip-climbed down the ladder, with food, hydration and hugs waiting for them when they reunited with their colleagues on the ground.

The firefighters who were on duty that day headed back to the station to await the next emergency call. Patrick, whose day off had been interrupted, took his family out for a late lunch at Panda Express and then spent a busy night fielding calls and texts from family and friends who had seen him on the news.

Despite her terrifying experience, Reynolds isn’t ready to give up ballooning. James, on the other hand, says he’s done. But after nearly 500 flights, he’s fine with that. James and Reynolds have accepted an open invitation to visit the firehouse and have grown close with the fire­fighters. “We’ve brought them into our family,” Johnson says.

After the balloon was carefully cut away from the tower and lowered to the ground, James donated the basket and part of the canopy to the Longview Fire Department. They now hang from the ceiling of the station. Says Patrick, “It’s a reminder of why we train—even for things we may hope and think we’ll never have to do.”

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“Names can be endlessly fascinating, as they hold special significance as emblems of our identity,” says Nathaniel Taylor, PhD, president of the American Society of Genealogists. “We can look at the names of our ancestors or others in our societies stretching back hundreds or even thousands of years.”

Then there’s the staggering variety of last names in the U.S. alone, with 7.8 million different ones currently in use, per the 2020 census. Just 11 of these names were reported more than a million times each, while the vast majority, 7 million, were counted fewer than 100 times.

My own last name at birth was Kelly, a common Irish one that means “descendant of Ceallach.” Aside from some grade-school teasing (“Smelly Kelly!”), I loved it. But when I got married, I took on a more challenging one: Geddes. Not many know its origins (Scotland) or meaning (mountain ridge), and fewer still can pronounce it—Geddes rhymes with lettuce. But at least there’s no silly taunting!

So what are the most common last names in the U.S. today, and how did they come to be? To find out, we turned to Taylor and Crista Cowan, Ancestry’s corporate genealogist. Read on to learn their origins and get a few clues about how your last name may have gotten its start too.

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Have people always had last names?

Believe it or not, no. In fact, in the Western world, for thousands of years, people simply went by one name—their first. But eventually, the need for surnames became apparent, since too many folks had the same first names. “Surnames are a medieval invention in Europe, appearing in many parts of the region from the 11th to the 13th centuries,” Taylor explains. “European-style inherited surnames came to the Western Hemisphere later on, between the 16th and 17th centuries.”

Experts believe the earliest recorded European last name is “O Cleirigh,” which originated in Ireland in 916 AD and would be spelled O’Clery today. But the Chinese have that record beat! “China developed hereditary family names, called Xing, more than 3,000 years ago, which makes its surname tradition one of the oldest in the world,” explains Cowan.

Other ancient cultures tracked lineage through titles or sacred roles rather than fixed last names. “For instance,” Cowan says, “Jewish Kohanim (priestly lines tracing back to Aaron, Moses’s brother) kept track of their hereditary lineage for thousands of years, even though fixed European surnames for these families, like Katz, which is short for Kohen Tsedek, were only formalized much later in history.”

Why did the concept of having last names really take off?

Along with the need to distinguish all the different people named John or Mary, last names took off because of big jumps in population, an increase in the number and types of trades, and the use of written records. Wealth and social prestige were also behind their rise. “The factors that gave rise to inheriting a surname included new laws about marriage and property inheritance in 12th-century Europe,” Taylor says.

Other motives were cultural, Taylor adds, as families were organized around a father-to-son legacy of status and identity. The result? Surnames served as visual symbols like coats of arms.

How did last names originate and proliferate?

Many of the last names we use in the U.S. today originated along five different, and surprisingly simple, paths. For the most part, these categories developed between the 12th and 14th centuries, though there are some variations in the chronology in different cultural traditions.

Keep in mind that the idea of surnames wasn’t exactly a conscious choice by a parent. “When surnames first appear in the written records, it’s because someone else described the person they were writing about in a certain way,” Taylor says. “So the ‘invention’ of many surnames may have been accidental moments in recordkeeping.”

With that in mind, here are the most common ways last names were born.

Fathers’ names

A patronymic—a term derived from the Greek words for father and name—is a name created with a prefix or suffix attached to a father or male relative’s moniker. Typically of Germanic, Scandinavian, Celtic, Hispanic and Slavic origin, many of these common last names are easy to spot since they sport son at the end (think: Williamson, Johnson, Wilson or Richardson) or prefixes (like O’Brian or O’Neill and MacDonald or McNamara). The Spanish suffix ez also means “son”; examples of these last names include Lopez, Sanchez, Fernandez and Alvarez.

While less common, women also passed down matronymics, such as Nelson (which is derived from Nell or Eleanor), Emmett (Emma), Madison (Maude) and Marriott (Mary). “In parts of South Asia (India, Indonesia), there are cultures where matrilineal inheritance of surnames is the rule,” says Taylor.

Occupations

Names describing the jobs a person held were also a frequent way of making surnames. If you crafted barrels, you might be designated as a Cooper, and if you worked with sheep, you’d be called a Shepherd. Baker, Miller, Carpenter, Fisher and Taylor are other occupations that morphed into last names.

Descriptions

While it might not seem very politically correct today, one’s appearance, personality or nickname became, in some cases, that person’s last name. Examples of these descriptors include Armstrong, Longfellow, Brown, Little, Russo (red), LeBlanc (white), Young, Stern, Swift and Wise.

Terrain

The landscape was also a source of inspiration when creating last names in medieval times. “These are sometimes called toponymic surnames,” Taylor says. “They encompassed features found in many locales, which then gave rise to unrelated families using the same surname.” Some common location-based names include Hill, Wood, Dupont (French for “from the bridge”), Stone, Atwater, Ford, Vega (Spanish for “meadow” or “fertile plain”) and Cumberland.

Cities, estates and feudal manors

Where a person lived also prompted some surnames, including Sussex, Sutton, Kensington and Huntington. And if you owned property, your last name night be the same as your estate’s name. The British royal family, Windsor, is a prime example of this, along with other noble monikers such as Spencer and Stuart.

“In English history, you see names from big historic noble families like Howard, Seymour and Percy,” Cowan says. “Across Europe, noble family names often used little prefixes like de in French or Spanish or von in German, like de Medici or von Habsburg, to show that the family ruled over or owned a specific area.”

Similar to the folks who acquired their surnames based on their occupation, people who held jobs on these grand properties were often identified by those jobs. “So you get names like Reeve or Bailiff for estate managers, Granger for the person in charge of the granary, Hayward for the officer protecting hedges and boundaries, and Bond or Freeman, which shows whether someone was a peasant bound to the land or a free tenant farmer,” Cowan says.

Other trajectories

It’s important to remember that not all cultures hewed to the paths outlined above. “Across many African, Indigenous and South Asian traditions, surnames grew out of clan lineages, spiritual titles or personal characteristics,” Cowan notes.

What are the most common last names?

Here’s a snapshot of the 10 most popular last names in the U.S., according to the 2020 U.S. Census, along with their country of origin and what each of them means.

1. Smith

Meaning: This English and Scottish name is derived from an occupation: a metal worker—particularly, someone who molded iron, like a blacksmith.

How many there are in the U.S.: 2,369,644

2. Johnson

Meaning: Also of English and Scottish heritage, Johnson means “son of John.”

How many there are in the U.S.: 1,858,234

3. Williams

Meaning: Williams is both English and Welsh, and it’s derived from the first name William.

How many there are in the U.S.: 1,561,395

4. Brown

Meaning: Brown falls into the category of appearances or nicknames. This English, Irish and Scottish surname likely developed due to the person’s brown hair or skin.

How many there are in the U.S.: 1,386,083

5. Jones

Meaning: Similar to Jon or Jone, this English and Welsh last name was created to denote a person who lived or worked at John’s house.

How many there are in the U.S.: 1,383,250

6. Garcia

Meaning: Garcia has both Spanish and Portuguese roots and may come from the Basque area. It translates to “young bear” or “brave warrior.”

How many there are in the U.S.: 1,149,510

7. Miller

Meaning: This English and Scottish occupational moniker referred to one who worked at a mill or ground grain.

How many there are in the U.S.: 1,129,186

8. Rodriguez

Meaning: From the Spanish and Portuguese, Rodriguez is a common patronymic that means “son of Rodrigo.”

How many there are in the U.S.: 1,085,838

9. Davis

Meaning: Also a patronymic, Davis is English and Welsh and translates to “son of David.”

How many there are in the U.S.: 1,074,448

10. Martinez

Meaning: The Spanish name Martinez means “son of Martin.”

How many there are in the U.S.: 1,039,848

Are all people with the same last name related from way back when?

Probably not, especially if the last name is common. Still, as science improves, this answer might change. “Over the last 25 years, DNA databases have shown some trends about the likelihood that holders of the same surname are related biologically,” Taylor says. However, if your name is on the unusual side, the chances are better that you’ve got kin around the world. “The rarer the surname, the more likely it is that there is only one biological family accounting for it—only one founding ancestor,” he explains.

My own last name just might fall in the latter basket. “Geddes, per online sources, is indeed that sort of name: a geographically derived surname probably from a single place in Nairnshire, Scotland,” says Taylor. Interesting!

Are new last names still being added, or are they pretty set at this point?

The sky’s the limit when it comes to adding last names. Indeed, as with first names, creating new last names is potentially an endless creative process. You can literally choose what you want for yourself and your offspring. “Dual surnames and hyphenated names are way more visible now, partly because of long-standing cultural norms like Hispanic dual-surname traditions, and partly because modern couples are choosing to blend or keep their names,” Cowan says. “It’s a great reminder that surnames aren’t static; they keep growing to reflect who we actually are.”

Taylor agrees. “With the convergence of so many distinct cultures in a melting pot like ours and the ability to borrow from cultures, the opportunity for new surnames and new patterns is greater than ever before,” he says.

Alas, tracking the wide range of last names isn’t as easy as first names. Thanks to the Social Security Administration, we have an excellent database that traces baby-name choice. “But,” Taylor says, “there’s no similar handy statistical source for surname use in America.”

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on the most common last names in the U.S., Jennifer Geddes tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who frequently writes about family, lifestyle and facts for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• Nathaniel Lane Taylor, PhD, FASG, president of the American Society of Genealogists; email interview, October 2026
• Crista Cowan, corporate genealogist at Ancestry; email interview, October 2026
• The Atlantic: “A Patriarchal Tradition That Just Won’t Budge”
• U.S. Census Bureau: “Last Name Data from the 2020 Census”
• U.S. Census Bureau: “Most Common First Names and Last Names in the 2020 Census”
• U.S. Census Bureau: “List of Top 15 Last Names in the United States Has Changed Less in the Last 230 Years Than You Might Think”
• MyHeritage: “The History of Surnames: What Was the First Surname Ever Documented?”
• FindMyPast:”English Surnames Explained: The Seven Types of Last Names You Should Know”
• Ancestry: “Discover the Meaning and History Behind Your Name”
• Ancestry: “Last Names and Their Meanings”

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The post Here’s the Story Behind 10 Common Last Names—And How the Whole Surname Tradition Got Its Start appeared first on Reader's Digest.

It’s that “or something” that I think about a lot these days, as the days fly by ever faster. Where are we supposed to find that happiness for our “one beautiful life” when it’s just so dang busy? Then it occurred to me that while we’ll ask 500 strangers online how to do sourdough bread, for some reason we never ask the people who’ve been doing this life thing for 80 years or more how to do life. Thankfully, I can fill that gap for all of us. 

I write the 100 Years Strong column for The Healthy, where I interview people in their 80s, 90s and 100s about their lives and longevity secrets. I make it a point to ask each one what their secret to happiness is. And make no mistake: These people are happy happy. Even though they’ve lived through the Great Depression, World War II, the Civil Rights Movement, multiple revolutions in other countries and the full gamut of difficult personal challenges, nearly all of them are pretty positive most of the time. 

“That doesn’t surprise me one bit. People do tend to get happier as they get older,” says Robert Waldinger, MD, a psychiatrist and the co-director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest-running study of happiness in the world. If there’s one person who has interviewed more elderly folks than I have, it’s definitely him. “It’s a real, documented thing, called the positivity effect,” he explains. “There’s a psychological shift around the mid-40s, when people begin to realize life is short.”

To help find out what makes people happy, I interviewed more than 45 people, aged 80 to 103, and asked them what they wish they’d understood about happiness sooner and what keeps them smiling. Read on to find out. The answer will definitely surprise you—it’s basically the opposite of what the self-help section says.

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What is the happiness secret most 80-year-olds wish they’d known sooner?

The hard-earned secret that comes up most often among our folks can be best summed up by 100-year-old Dwight Roberts: “I don’t even think of life in terms of happiness. My mind doesn’t work on that level.”

Yep. The secret to happiness may actually be … not pursuing happiness. Or even thinking about it all that much. Most of the active 80-, 90- and 100-year-olds I talk to are so busy, staying useful and curious, that they never stop to grade their own happiness. 

Connie Carr, who is still teaching three fitness classes per week at 93, agrees, saying, “Oh, I haven’t got time to be sad! I never have. With my hobbies and friends and classes, I’ve always got something happy happening.” 

Havi Stander, 95, also keeps herself happily busy—including posing for a “not-so-nudie” YMCA calendar! “When people ask me about being happy, I tell them to stop focusing so much on yourself. Relax. Stay interested in everything around you. Don’t close your eyes, baby. There’s a wonderful world out there.”

Dr. Waldinger explains: “Happiness isn’t necessarily a choice—it’s a feeling. And the trick is to stop trying to ‘create happiness’ but rather create the conditions for happiness and then go on living your life.” He began exploring this theme in his first book, the New York Times bestseller The Good Life, and now offers practical tips for achieving this mindset in his new book, Nothing to Fix. Trying to force happiness can backfire. Just think of the parent gritting their teeth through a Disney meltdown, insisting, “This is fun, dang it, and you will enjoy it!” Instead, Dr. Waldinger suggests creating opportunities for happiness without demanding that every moment deliver *jazz hands* JOY.

Martha Clement, 91, who was delivered by a doctor in a horse and buggy and now uses AI, illustrates this principle perfectly. “I don’t get low because I get out and go,” she says, laughing at her rhyme. “Friends make me happy, but you can’t make friends or have friends if you stay home all the time and sit in that chair.” (Fun fact: The man who sat next to her in the interview, Lee Penhallegon, 90, has been her friend for more than 80 years.)

What are they most definitely not doing?

They’re not sitting at home making spreadsheets about how to optimize their happiness and cutting out every person who doesn’t “bring them joy.” In fact, these people are incredibly tolerant of things that make them uncomfortable or don’t go smoothly.

Dwight, for example, has run more than 300 races over the past 45 years, including four marathons, and still has the audacity to tell me he “still doesn’t like running.” So if the running doesn’t make him happy, why do it? Because running has given him more than the experience of running itself. There’s the thrill of a race, new friends, a sense of accomplishment and the benefits of staying active. As he puts it, he’s learned to skip the happiness audit and “just pay attention to what’s in front of you.”

Of course, my interviewees aren’t necessarily representative of everyone their age. They volunteered to talk with me, so it’s possible they were happier or more engaged than their peers on average. Still, the idea that we don’t have to feel happy all the time to live a satisfying life has support in psychological research. “Many many studies have shown us that optimism has a strong effect on health,” Dr. Waldinger says, explaining that not only do people who live longer feel happier, but happier people also tend to live longer, creating a beautiful cycle of positivity. 

Does this match what experts say?

Boy does it! A 2024 UC Berkeley study found that monitoring and judging your own happiness was linked with lower well-being and more negative feelings—even during positive experiences. Simply wanting to be happy, however, wasn’t associated with those same problems. It’s a nuanced distinction. A 2024 Dutch survey of 8,331 adults found that people who valued happiness reported greater life satisfaction, but intensely focusing on being happy didn’t predict greater life satisfaction a year later.

This distinction matters: It’s fine to want to be happy. It’s the constant checking and nitpicking—Am I happy yet? Why aren’t I happier? What’s wrong with me?—that can get in the way.

Dr. Waldinger has seen this in his own research and personal life as well. “One of the things that I wish I knew about happiness sooner is that life is unsatisfactory. It’s not a flaw—it’s the point. I learned that studying to become a Zen priest,” he says. (Yes, he is a Zen master on top of being a researcher, psychiatrist, speaker, author and family man.) “It changed my outlook because I stopped trying to fight the discomfort and instead looked at what it is trying to teach me.” 

It turns out that some of our unhappiness comes from trying so hard to avoid being unhappy—which, if we’re honest, is something many of us spend a lot of time doing. “One of the things I really focus on in my new book is the power of embracing our negative emotions, facing them head-on,” he explains. “Denying those feelings just makes it harder to act and to effect positive change. You can have unhappiness but still be happy.” 

Dwight is the poster child (grandfather?) for this attitude: “Oh, I’ll have a great day today,” he tells me, even though it’s quite early and most of the day still stretches ahead of us. “Even when it’s a bad day, I always have a good day.”

What other happiness themes came up repeatedly in these interviews?

Overall, strong relationships with other humans is the strongest link to both health and happiness, Dr. Waldinger says. But there are so many ways to build and maintain those relationships, which leads to three other main themes I noticed in my interviews.

They stay useful by serving others and volunteering

Volunteer work, whether it’s through a formal organization or just helping out where you can, has been consistently linked to better health and increased happiness. Serving others is a powerful way of building happiness without focusing on it, because you’re absorbed in helping build someone else’s happiness, which, in turn, gives you more happiness than any self-care day could. And these seniors are living proof it works. 

Edward Krauss, 91, ran his town’s food pantry for 23 years, built homes for Habitat for Humanity and then started his own charity building wheelchair ramps for people who can’t easily leave their homes. He’s still at it.

Jean Hinkle, 92, started a free lunch program and now hands out 100 to 350 hot meals every third Thursday. “God just put it on my heart,” she says.

Natalie Grabow, 80, the world’s oldest woman Ironman champion, is motivated, in part, by wanting to stay strong enough to care for her husband. “It gives me energy. It gives me joy.”

And Stephen Broadbelt, 91, who has lived all over the world and actually serenaded me during our interview, brings a dozen roses to church every week. He leaves a note inviting people to take one and give it to someone else along with a compliment. “At the end of the day, we’re all here to help each other,” he says.

But I think James Sneed, 103, sums it up the best. James drove a tank during World War II when the Army was segregated—he was actually pulled out of victory photographs and replaced with a White soldier—and went on to play a pivotal role in the Civil Rights Movement in the South while building several houses by hand and raising five children. Through it all, he maintained his faith in humanity and made a point of welcoming the people he met. “Do all the good you can, to all the people you can, every place you can,” he says. “That’s really it. That’s how you be happy.”   

The keep making new friends, often younger ones

Friends of different ages and backgrounds can introduce us to new perspectives, experiences and opportunities to learn.

Ruthie Vinette, 96, spent her life on the water and made it her mission to bring swimming to underprivileged kids. When I asked about her friendships, she told me: “I [had] very good friends. And most of them are gone. So I have new friends, and all my friends now are younger. And I like that. They make me feel young, and I keep learning new things.”

Martha Clement and Lee Penhallegon, meanwhile, have been friends for more than 80 years. As they’ve grown older, they’ve continued to make new friends too. They begin by counting the classmates they’ve lost and remembering them fondly, then turn to the people they’ve met more recently.

“Making friends doesn’t have to be so complicated,” Lee says. “My rules are: Don’t gossip, stay easy to be around and keep showing up at the same places.”

Honestly, that’s a pretty good friendship manual at any age.

They never stopped playing

Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, many of us start treating fun as something we have to earn after all the important stuff is done. But if you want a life that feels good to live, recreation can’t always be the thing that gets bumped to next week.

Sonny Veltri, 98, decided to become a lifeguard in his 80s. Who starts a new hobby or side hustle at this age? Happy people, that’s who. When I ask him why, he gives me a sly wink and says, “For the ladies!” And not only does he thoroughly enjoy his pool time, but at 90, he also jumped in and rescued a drowning girl, providing CPR until EMS arrived, and saved her life. “You have to believe in yourself and stay positive when trying new things,” he says. “Don’t overdo anything. And always exercise—that’s the whole key. And keep laughing. I don’t know if that’s the secret, but it doesn’t hurt.” 

Sue Foster, 91, who runs a large Airbnb agrees, saying, “I truly believe in humor as medicine. There’s nothing better than a good laugh.” So she looks for hobbies that give her that daily dose, like her classes at the YMCA.

Hobbies don’t have to be physical, though. Fred Richman, 99, a renowned artist who is selling more pieces than ever, tells me his motto is “Never act my age!” And then he admonishes me: “Please don’t tell me you’re going to act your age.”

Similarly, Mike Zambrano, 95, started dancing as a child in Cuba and kept that skill after he fled to the U.S. after the revolution. He danced everything from the bolero to the twist with his wife, and he still dances several times a week. “You can just make up your own steps if you can’t follow the rhythm,” he assures me. Which, frankly, sounds like excellent life advice beyond the dance floor. 

How can you redesign your life to be happier, ideally well before you turn 80?

The big lesson from my interviews is simple: Build a life that keeps you engaged with people and activities you care about. Give happiness room to happen instead of making it just one more thing to accomplish.

“Our brains are wired to look for danger, because negativity can be protective—it helps us spot threats,” Dr. Waldinger explains. “But that instinct can go into overdrive.” Between the 24-hour news cycle and the online “if it bleeds, it leads” mentality, we’re bombarded with danger signals, even when those threats have nothing to do with our own lives. “You have to consciously counteract that instinct.”

Here are six ways to start.

Stop asking yourself if you’re happy

Instead of chasing a feeling, focus on the things that make life meaningful: spending time with people you love, doing something you’re curious about, helping someone else or simply enjoying what’s in front of you. Dwight Roberts puts it this way: “I ask myself, What can I still do, and what does it give me right now?”

That doesn’t mean pretending everything is wonderful. It just means changing the question from Why aren’t I happy? to What am I looking forward to? Who can I connect with? What would make today feel worthwhile?

Treat relationships as something you build, not something you wait for

If there’s one theme that comes up again and again among people who’ve lived long lives, it’s the importance of connection. But meaningful relationships don’t happen without effort. Sometimes you have to be the one who reaches out, makes the plan or shows up somewhere often enough that familiar faces become friends.

Put time with friends and family on your calendar instead of hoping you’ll find time later. Return to the same class, club, volunteer group or community gathering. And don’t limit yourself to the people you already know. Some of the most rewarding friendships can begin when you step outside your usual circle. It might feel awkward at first. Do it anyway. Friendship is worth a little awkwardness.

“We benefit from all types of relationships, and investing in relationships is the No. 1 thing you can do to be happier,” Dr. Waldinger says.

Find ways to be useful to other people

Helping someone else can give your day a sense of purpose that you can’t get from focusing exclusively on your own happiness. That doesn’t mean you need to volunteer for a major cause or become the person everyone calls in a crisis. It can be as simple as checking on a neighbor, sharing a skill, making someone laugh or finding a way to contribute to a community you care about.

All—yes, all—of the people I spoke with found meaning in service, volunteering and showing up for others. Their stories were a reminder that purpose doesn’t have to be grand or glamorous. Sometimes it’s simply knowing that someone else’s day was a little better because you were part of it.

Keep making room for things that make you feel alive

Play isn’t just for kids! Whether it’s dancing, learning a skill, exploring a new place or doing something that makes you laugh until you can’t catch your breath, enjoyment deserves a place in your life—even when you have a thousand other things to do.

You can also make a habit of noticing the good things that are already there. One simple way to do this is to keep a daily gratitude journal. Another idea? Take a picture of things that make you happy when you see them, then put them into a digital scrapbook that you can keep adding to.

The goal isn’t to turn happiness into another assignment on your to-do list; it’s to give you more opportunities to find happiness organically.

If you do this, how long will it be before you feel the change?

“The nice thing about happiness is that even small changes can lead to an immediate happiness boost,” Dr. Waldinger says. Help someone today, even just give someone new a compliment, and see how you feel. However, to feel a change in your general baseline mood, it might take a bit longer. Expect a couple of months for the habits to feel automatic. After a year, you’ll see some real gains in well-being.

And don’t feel defeated if you fall off the bandwagon. It happens to the best of us! Accept the slip as a normal part of being human, not as a referendum on your own worth, Dr. Waldinger says. In fact, the UC Berkeley study found that judging your own happiness only adds negative feelings. So cut the “I should be feeling happy …” and replace it with “I’m feeling upset right now, and that’s normal and OK—here’s what I am going to do differently tomorrow.” You can and will recover from a bad day, a bad month or even a bad year.

Is it too late to start?

Of course not! You’ll have days when you don’t feel happy, weeks when your plans fall apart and stretches when finding the energy to do much of anything feels harder than usual. That’s being human, not failing at happiness. The point isn’t to be cheerful all the time. It’s to keep making room for connection, curiosity and things that give your life meaning—even when you’re having a rough patch.

And it’s never too late to start something new. Just ask Natalie Grabow, our 80-year-old Ironman champion.

“I didn’t even learn to swim until I was 59 years old!” she tells me. “People think motivation fades with age. But if anything, it gets clearer.”

Maybe that’s the real secret: You don’t have to figure out how to be happy forever. In fact, there’s no such thing as happiness forever. Instead, keep living, keep connecting with others, stay aware of what does make you happy and stay open to whatever tomorrow brings.

To read more about the inspiring people featured in this story, check out The Healthy’s 100 Year Strong Project.  

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on what makes people happy, Charlotte Hilton Andersen tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who frequently writes about psychology, communication, etiquette and common curiosities for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• Robert Waldinger, MD, psychiatrist, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, co-author of The Good Life and author of Nothing to Fix; personal interview, Oct. 15, 2026
• The Healthy: Personal interviews for 100 Years Strong
• Harvard Second Generation Study: “Welcome to the Harvard Study of Adult Development”
• Emotion: “Unpacking the Pursuit of Happiness”
• Psychological Science: “Does Valuing Happiness Lead to Well-Being?”

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Peptides are the body’s messengers that signal your cells to execute functions like prompting your kidneys to absorb water or your brain to release oxytocin. They occur naturally in your body, but synthetic versions, like the ones Fleming uses, can also be made in a laboratory and injected or swallowed to induce a variety of vital functions at will. Once limited to die-hard fitness circles, injectable peptides have seeped into the mainstream thanks to a heavy push on social media and widespread use of GLP-1 medications, which themselves are weight-loss peptides.

And there’s a peptide for nearly everything—speeding muscle recovery, slowing aging, helping a variety of injuries and ailments—though many aren’t well studied or approved for use by the Food and Drug Administration. Still, they’ve been publicly supported by Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who announced in February that he planned to ease restrictions on 14 peptides that the FDA had previously banned pharmacies from creating. However, even Kennedy admitted that there isn’t much scientific evidence to support the use of supplemental peptides.

Health-care providers are usually wary of patients trying these so-called “gray market” products manufactured without FDA oversight. Meanwhile, desperate consumers are tempted by a buffet of choices.

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Why are so many different things considered peptides?

The term peptides can be confusing. “Peptides are short chains of amino acids, the same building blocks that make up proteins, just much smaller,” says Stuart Phillips, PhD, chair of the Department of Kinesiology at McMaster University in Ontario. Several medications fall into the peptides category, including insulin and GLP-1s like Ozempic. Those are FDA approved; the peptides many people reference on social media are not.

“Your body makes thousands of them naturally, and they act as signaling molecules that tell cells what to do, whether that’s releasing a hormone, building tissue, regulating appetite or modulating inflammation,” Phillips says. “The peptides people are talking about now are synthetic versions designed to mimic or amplify those natural signals.”

Of the injectable and oral peptides popular on social media, BPC-157 (tied to muscle and tendon repair and gut health), is one of the most common, along with MK-677 (muscle growth), and SS-31 and GHK-Cu (both anti-aging). Influencers make bold claims about these products, suggesting that they can support gut health, muscle recovery, longevity and more. (Often, these influencers offer a discount code for an online retailer or provide a special link in their profile, suggesting that they receive a commission from sales.)

Because many peptides are not FDA approved, people often purchase products labeled for research use only, says Daniel T. Abazia, PharmD, director of the Rutgers/RWJBarnabas Health Medication-Use Safety and Information Center. But purchasing products labeled “not for human consumption” or “for research purposes only” means bypassing key safety checks.

Why are people using peptides?

About four years ago, Jessi Smith, a 33-year-old in Boston, developed a mysterious array of symptoms, including brain fog, fatigue, dizziness and food intolerances. Her functional medicine provider determined that she had mold toxicity and spent two years trying to help her feel better.

“It was getting to the point where we had tried everything,” Smith says. “We’re still detoxing the mold, still healing my gut. My immune system is just shot.” It was then that Smith’s provider suggested she try peptides as a way to “jump-start” her health.

She started with a blend of several peptides: BPC-157, KPV, GHK-Cu and N-acetyl larazotide. At first, she didn’t like the way she felt. She had “horrible insomnia” and felt awful the next day. “I don’t want to necessarily blame the peptides, because my body is pretty reactive right now,” she says. Smith restarted the peptide blend at a lower dose a few weeks later and felt better. “I still need to give it some time and ease up to the full dose, but thankfully had no bad reactions other than some fatigue the first few days,” she says.

Fleming’s experience has been different. “I have had no side effects,” she says. She had “pretty intense” tendinitis in her Achilles tendon for three years that went away after she started taking BPC-157. “I was in a space of seeing a podiatrist, getting prescriptions for MRIs … it was bad,” she says. “I recover faster on peptides.” She has also struggled with digestive-health issues for years. “Apparently BPC-157 helps with gut-related issues,” she says, “but I can’t say that anything is worlds better there.”

While BPC-157 is popular in athletic circles, it’s banned in and out of competition by the World Anti-Doping Agency, making it something that athletes competing at the national or international level, especially top finishers and record breakers, should avoid. (Fleming says she’s not running races to try to win.)

How well do they work?

There is rigorous data to support the use of FDA-approved peptides, but clinical data on the unregulated wellness and sports peptides sold online is limited or lacking. One 2018 study found that BPC-157 helped heal damaged tendon-muscle junctions in rats given the peptide. And an earlier study, from 1996, found that when a group of adults ages 64 to 81 took MK-677, their levels of an important growth hormone were restored to those of young adults. But the study was small, including only 32 adults.

“A lot of peptides being used on the gray market currently don’t have human studies or have very limited human studies that are not ideal,” says Tracy Verrico, DO, a board-certified OB-GYN and hormone expert at Bona Dea Gynecology. “We definitely need more data. That’s what I’m telling patients.”

There’s also a big difference between animal and human studies, notes Abazia. “A peptide that heals a tendon in a rat doesn’t always work the same way in a 51-year-old man with a complex medical history,” he says.

Phillips says the lack of data to support these peptides is particularly concerning. “We have very limited human data,” he explains. “A lot of the enthusiasm is built on rodent studies, in vitro work, or anecdotes. That doesn’t mean these compounds don’t work, but we don’t really know what they do over months or years of use, what the right dose is, who shouldn’t take them or what happens when you stack three or four together, which is common practice.”

Phillips stresses that a lack of data isn’t evidence that these peptides are harmful. “But it’s also not evidence of safety, and the marketing tends to blur that distinction,” he says.

There’s also a lack of data on how well oral peptides perform compared to the more popular injectable peptides. “A capsule from a wellness website is almost certainly not delivering what an injection would,” Phillips says, noting that peptides are “poorly absorbed” when they’re taken orally.

But injectable peptides carry risks of infection and injection-site reaction, and then there’s the question of what’s actually in the vial, Phillips says.

Fleming acknowledges the lack of data surrounding peptides. “I feel like if there was some sort of glaring issue, I would stop,” she says. “I don’t know if this is blind optimism, but if I feel good, that’s good.” Fleming says she thinks the impact of BPC-157 has been “significant” on her health and fitness recovery but adds, “I really wish I could prove the peptides were helping.”

Are peptides the answer?

Many people who use peptides started them after feeling as if they had exhausted their options with conventional medicine. “I was getting no answers. I was told it was just anxiety,” Smith says. “I feel like I was getting very gaslit. The nontraditional routes have been more helpful for me.”

Peptides are often marketed to these patients. “A lot of people—­particularly those dealing with chronic pain, slow recovery from injury, midlife metabolic changes or symptoms that don’t fit neatly into a diagnostic box—feel unheard by conventional medicine,” Phillips says. “Peptides are being marketed as a personalized, optimization-focused alternative, often by clinicians who spend more time listening than a typical primary-care visit allows.”

There can be a placebo effect to feeling cared for, he adds, noting that this “shouldn’t be dismissed.” Couple that with many social media claims, and it’s easy to see why some people are willing to try peptides. But before turning to them, take a step back. “Be honest with yourself about what you’re trying to fix,” Phillips says. “Many of the things that people use peptides for—recovery, body composition, energy—are far more responsive to consistent training, adequate protein and good sleep.”

If your current health-care provider isn’t meeting your care needs, Dr. Verrico suggests finding a new one. “If you feel that you’re not getting anywhere and you’re not being heard, you need to get a new doctor who will take the time to put the pieces together,” she says. “It may be someone who is offering [both] conventional and functional medicine.”

Dr. Verrico acknowledges the allure of peptides as a cure-all, though. “Peptides are pitched as the next best thing to sliced bread,” she says. “I know you’re desperate to feel better. Let’s figure [it] out in a safe way.”

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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“I think it’s completely thrilling to be able to look at a sentence and know how many clauses and prepositional phrases there are, whether the verbs are transitive or intransitive, what the pronoun case is and so on,” she says. “I would have been ecstatic if we had spent additional years on grammar in school.”

In September 2018, Jovin, then an author, lecturer and communications coach for Syntaxis—her business that focuses on teaching communication workshops to businesses—was spending days cooped inside her apartment working on her language-­learning blog as well as interacting in dozens of Facebook language groups. As the walls slowly began to close in on her, she had a revelation: I gotta get out of here!

“I didn’t want to spend that many hours a day online,” she says. Instead, “I wanted to use language in the real world for actual communication.”

So she stepped out of her apartment and set up a folding table across the street. Jovin, decked out in a leopard-print jacket, goofy ball-shaped earrings and a “Grammar Hedonist” T-shirt, was ready to laugh with everyone. She drew them little punctuation charts. She let them vent. As she told passersby: “I am here to answer grammar questions or take complaints.”

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Embarking on a grammatical adventure

That December, she and her husband, Brandt Johnson, decided to take the show on the road, with Johnson filming what would become a documentary called Rebel with a Clause. True, he had never made a movie before. He’d done a lot of other things—acting, writing, even playing pro basketball in Europe touring against the Harlem Globetrotters. But mostly he and Jovin together run Syntaxis. That means they have the same boss—themselves—and could take off as soon as they wanted. So they did.

Those the couple met in their travels from Martha’s Vineyard to Flattop Mountain, Alaska, included kids, cops, lawyers, tourists, prom-goers, some grammar snob know-it-alls who got it all wrong, and two charming but inebriated young men with a pressing question. In Jovin’s book, also titled Rebel with a Clause, we meet Jason and Jack in Decatur, Alabama, after they’ve ambled over to her table to ask where the apostrophe goes in y’all. Jason wondered if it went before or after the a. Jack thought it didn’t go anywhere and y’all was just yall. Jovin explained that there is indeed an apostrophe and that it goes between the y and the all, because it’s taking the place of the rest of the word you.

The guys weren’t finished. While he and Jack helped themselves to her lunch, Jason asked what you call the “dot dot dot” you see when some words are missing.

“This is called an ellipsis,” said Jovin.

“I thought an ellipsis was the little …” Jason drew an oval in the air.

That’s an ellipse in math, Jovin explained. But in grammar it means something else and can be fun to talk about at parties. The plural is ellipses.

“I don’t normally talk to girls that are smart enough to know what that is,” Jason replied. “I need to find some girls that know what an ellipses is.”

He corrected himself: “What ellipses are.”

Using grammar as an icebreaker

One sunny spring day in New York City, I accompanied Jovin to Central Park, where she set up her table and was soon swamped with queries.

“I still never get who and whom right,” said Linda Klein, a tourist from Los Angeles who was visiting with her dad, George Klein. “Do you have a trick for remembering it?”

Jovin smiled. She lives for such exchanges. While it all depends on context, she told Linda, there is a way to figure it out. Who is pretty much the equivalent of he, she and I—a subject. Whom is pretty much the equivalent of him, her or me—an object. And the way to figure which to use, Jovin continued, is to rephrase the sentence it’s in.

To use an example from Jovin’s book: If you’re trying to figure out what goes in the sentence “Evan, who/whom I thought was an honest person, plagiarized two paragraphs of mine,” you slice away everything outside of the commas. Then you consider whether you’d say “I thought he was an honest person” or “I thought him was an honest person.” Since it’s he, you use who.

But when it’s “Evan, who/whom I admired, just robbed a bank,” you take away what’s outside the commas and realize that Jovin admired him, not he. So you discover it’s whom, not who. Also that Evan is someone Jovin should steer clear of. (Yes—we’ll get to this point in a minute. It’s perfectly fine to end a sentence with a preposition, including of.)

Jovin and the Kleins continued to chat. Grammar is often an icebreaker, just as Jovin hoped. It turns out that George grew up in Czechoslovakia but also speaks Spanish (as does Jovin) and German (as does Jovin) and Hungarian, French and Russian (she’s got the French and a little Russian). Jovin has studied 28 languages and is currently brushing up on her Italian and Portuguese. She apologized to George for not having a Czech dictionary with her that day, though she did have a Polish one. Jovin always brings along a foreign language dictionary or two to help out in case people who speak those languages come to chat.

Linda had one last question: What does Jovin call herself? A therapist? “A roving grammarian,” Jovin answered.

As the Kleins were about to leave, another man strolled up. His name? Bill Funt. Was he possibly related to Alan Funt, creator of Candid Camera? Yup. That was his dad. This Funt was not fishing for the kind of squirmy moments that made his dad famous, but he did pose a couple of tough questions. First, he wondered if there was a ­nongendered word for aunt or uncle. After all, he said, the nongendered word for niece or nephew is nibling (a term coined by linguist Samuel E. Martin in the 1950s).

Jovin said she didn’t know of such a word, at least not in English.

“OK,” Funt continued. “My father, before he married my mom, was married and had three children. Then they divorced. Is there a word for what she [the first wife] is to me?”

“I have this same situation in my family,” Jovin replied. But there is, in fact, no special word, she said.

“In other words, I’ve stumped you twice!” said Bill, exultingly.

“But maybe the word you’re looking for doesn’t exist,” Jovin countered primly. “This is not a word-manufacturing plant.”

Knowing when to break the rules

As Jovin and Johnson crisscrossed the country, certain grammar beefs and beliefs came up time and again. “I know people who will jump off a building before they split an infinitive,” Jovin says. An infinitive is the “to” form of a verb: To jump. To sigh. To barbecue. Those are infinitives. Fact is, there are times it is positively elegant to split them apart. Think of “to boldly go …”

As Jovin writes in her book, “The verb to go is the infinitive, and the adverb boldly intervenes.” It doesn’t sound bad—it sounds thrillingly Trekkian. But for eons, schoolkids have been taught to avoid it. Slaying that myth is something Jovin does almost daily.

She also deals with this one: A woman came up to her table to complain that the people who really need a grammar lesson probably never stop by. “My pet peeve is sentences ending in prepositions,” the woman said. “I see it all the time among people who should know better!”

The woman swanned off before Jovin had a chance to delicately explain that she should know better. Prepositions are little words that show relationships, like on the hill, at the hill, to the hill, up the hill. Never allowing them to end a sentence is another grammatical myth. This one somehow made its way into English via Latin, Jovin says. “But English is a Germanic language.”

Is it really better to say “That’s for what friends are” than “That’s what friends are for”? Or “Up to what are you?” instead of “What are you up to?” Ending a sentence with a preposition is not only grammatically kosher—it’s often required if you want people to understand what you’re driving at. Yes, at.

Tackling the big questions

Another myth people cling to is that all adverbs—words that modify verbs—end in y. Words like slowly, snootily and bombastically do, of course. But the word often is also an adverb, as in “He’s often tripping over his toga.”

Jovin also has to deal with all the confusion over semicolons: Are they instead of a dash? A period? A comma? Yes. Basically, a semicolon is a way of connecting two ideas that could be separate but are also sort of linked; it’s also a way of making sure that phrases filled with commas have something bigger separating them.

So let’s move on to the battle royal of everyday grammar. The punctuation mark that starts brawls, ends dates and drives writers to drink. You know what I’m talking about: the Oxford comma, also known as the serial comma, also known as the series comma. It’s the much-debated practice of putting a comma before the and in a list.

Some publications, like the New York Times, swear by it. Other entities (we’re looking at you, Associated Press) recommend using series commas only when crucial for clarity. For instance, let’s look at this sentence: “I invited the ax murderers, Frank and Louie.” In that sentence, am I alone with the ax murderers, whose names are Frank and Louie? Or did I stupidly invite some ax murderers along with Frank and Louie? Putting a comma before and makes it me, Frank and Louie, scared for our lives. Without this clarifying comma, Frank and Louie are the ax murderers, and it’s just me with them. Yikes.

When a chemical engineering major stopped by the Grammar Table in Starkville, Mississippi, Jovin gave him a less-chilling example of this debate: “I ordered a salad, spaghetti and soda.” Would he put a comma after spaghetti? “Yes, definitely,” said the budding engineer. “It sounds weird otherwise, because if you say, ‘I ordered salad, comma, spaghetti and soda,’ it’s like spaghetti and soda are one entity. What is that? That’s nasty.”

Know what else is nasty? The lay vs. lie quandary. It’s just too confusing. Lie is something a noun or pronoun does: You lie down. The cow lies down. And lay is the past tense of lie. Fine. But! Lay is also the present tense of (and here’s where my head exploded) when you’re describing what someone did to a direct object: Gerry lay down his shrimp fork. Lenore lays her glasses on her head and then can’t figure out where she put them. Which, between you and I, just happened.

Wait, wait! That’s between you and me, not I! I vs. me is such a common mistake that it, too, must be mentioned here. “People think me is a dirty word,” Jovin says.

A student visiting the Grammar Table in Morgantown, West Virginia, told Jovin: “I know it’s right to say ‘Will you go to the bar with Emily and me?’ but I don’t want to sound stupid, so I say, ‘Will you go to the bar with Emily and I?’ ”

Jovin assured him that some people, including her, do know that me is absolutely right (and not stupid). The way to tell which word to use is, again, to strip away a lot of the sentence. Would you say “Go to the bar with I?” or “Go to the bar with me?” Me wins!

Maybe the biggest rule in the English language, says Jovin, is that nothing is set in stone, much to the chagrin of a certain demographic.

Acknowledging the evolution of grammar

These days, Jovin hears older folks complain that their younger friends are saying “on accident” instead of “by accident.” The generations are also divided by the word like. You can, like, guess, which group uses it more and which group it, like, drives crazy.

And using they to denote a person who doesn’t want to be identified as he or she also requires some getting used to by the older generation. Especially since it’s singular, and hearing that “they” is coming over to do Jell-O shots begs the question of just how many Jell-O shots to prepare. (That said, they, even when denoting one person, still gets are, not the is treatment, Jovin notes.)

Like life, medicine and vacuum cleaners, grammar is always evolving. Usually, the older generation finds the younger one unutterably lax, while the young folk roll their eyes at their elders’ persnicketiness. “My feeling is that both generations should be tolerant of the other’s habits,” says the roving grammarian. “Every generation is innovative. They create their own words and terms, and it’s fun for them. It’s not a bad thing. It’s just what happens.”

Up with this, we all should put.

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At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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To help you get those conversations started, we tapped two experts from American Ancestors: David Allen Lambert, the company’s chief genealogist, and Sarah Quiat, the interim director for the Wyner Family Jewish Heritage Center. They shared the questions worth asking your relatives while you have the chance, whether you’re hoping to uncover surprising family stories or simply learn a little more about where you came from.

“Talking with relatives, especially those we see infrequently, allows them to reflect on their own lives and the lives of your shared ancestors before them,” Quiat says. “By passing what you learn from them to the next generation of your family, or to genealogical researchers, you create invaluable and unique sources of information that might not be found anywhere else.”

Read on for the questions to ask your relatives this holiday season, along with how to record them for future generations. You might be surprised by what you learn about your family—and yourself.

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What’s the best way to get started?

The best way to start is to keep things casual. You don’t need to turn Thanksgiving dinner into a formal family interview to uncover great stories. Sometimes, a simple question like “How did you celebrate this holiday growing up?” is enough to get everyone talking. From there, you can ask about the relatives, traditions and memories that come up naturally.

If you want to preserve those stories, though, Quiat recommends hitting record. “Video recording is ideal, because you can see and hear someone telling their stories,” she says. And you don’t need fancy equipment. A smartphone works just fine, as long as your relative is comfortable being recorded.

For a more structured approach, set aside time for a one-on-one conversation, prepare a few questions and find somewhere quiet where you won’t be interrupted. Quiat also recommends getting permission on camera, as well as beginning with your names, the date, the location and what you’ll be discussing. You can bring out old photographs or family keepsakes to help spark memories too. And don’t feel you have to capture everything in one sitting. Consider your relative’s energy level, and remember that different family members may recall the same event differently, so it’s worth talking to several people.

Most importantly, don’t let the pressure to do it perfectly stop you from starting. As Quiat notes, “getting something is better than waiting to get it perfect and never getting the chance.”

What should you ask your parents, grandparents and other relatives?

The best way to uncover your family’s history is to ask the people who lived it, and the right questions can reveal surprising details you never knew about your relatives. According to Lambert and Quiat, here’s what to ask:

Questions about their childhood and hometown

• What was the town or neighborhood you grew up in like?
• What was it like walking down the main street of your neighborhood when you were a child?
• What games did you love playing as a kid?
• Who was your closest childhood friend, and what did you do together?
• What did your family typically eat for dinner, where did the food come from and who prepared it?
• What was a typical day in your childhood like?
• Did anything happen while you were growing up that affected your entire town or community?

Questions about their parents, grandparents and ancestors

• What do you remember most about your grandparents?
• Who is the earliest relative you can remember, and what’s a story you recall about them?
• What stories about your ancestors did you hear growing up?
• What did your parents and grandparents do for a living?
• What are some of your favorite memories of relatives who have since passed away?
• What important lessons did your parents, grandparents or other elders teach you?
• Are there any surprising, unusual or little-known stories about relatives who are no longer alive?

Questions about family history and ancestry

• Do you know when and why our family first immigrated to this country?
• Where did your parents, grandparents or earlier ancestors live before you were born?
• Has our family surname ever changed, been shortened or been spelled differently? If so, what’s the story behind it?
• Did anyone in our family serve in the military? Which branch did they serve in, where were they stationed and what do you know about their experiences?
• Are there any old family photographs, letters, certificates or documents that could help us learn more about our ancestors?

Questions about family traditions and celebrations

• How did your family celebrate holidays and birthdays when you were growing up?
• What family traditions did your parents or grandparents pass down to you?
• Are there any family traditions you wish we still practiced today?

Questions about school and education

• What schools did you attend, and what do you remember most about them?
• Was there a teacher or mentor who had a particularly big influence on your life?
• Did you participate in any school clubs, sports or extracurricular activities?
• Did you attend college or pursue any other education or training after finishing school?
• Do you still have any school photographs, yearbooks, diplomas or other keepsakes?

Questions about their teenage years and social life

• How did you and your friends spend your free time as teenagers?
• What clubs, community groups or organizations were you involved in when you were younger?
• Who were the most important friends in your life during your teenage years and early adulthood?
• How did your social life and friendships change as you got older?

Questions about their first jobs and careers

• What was your first job, where did you work and what do you remember about the experience?
• What other jobs or careers have you had throughout your life?
• Were there any employers, co-workers or professional mentors who had a lasting impact on you?

Questions about love, marriage and raising a family

• How did you meet the person you ended up marrying?
• What do you remember about your engagement or the moment you decided to get married?
• What was your wedding day like, and where did you go on your honeymoon?
• What do you remember most about the days your children were born?
• What are some of your favorite memories of raising your children?

Questions about major historical events

• What major historical events have had the biggest impact on your life?
• How did those events affect your family, neighborhood or community?
• Were you ever personally involved in a major historical event, social movement or period of change? What was your experience like?
• Where were you when you first heard about a major news event you’ll never forget, and how did you react?

Questions about loss, remembrance and family health history

• What do you remember about the final years or days of relatives who have passed away?
• Are there any illnesses or health conditions that have affected multiple generations of our family?
• How did your family traditionally honor loved ones who passed away, including funeral or burial customs?
• What stories or memories would you most want future generations to know about relatives who are no longer with us?

Questions about their hopes and dreams

• When you were young, what did you want to do for a living, and did you end up pursuing that career?
• Did your parents want you to have a career path that you didn’t pursue?
• Did you ever want to live in a specific place—a city or country?
• Did you think about getting married and/or having children when you were young? What kind of romantic partner did you dream about meeting?
• What was something you hope to achieve that hasn’t happened yet? How about something that has?

Questions about their travels and adventures

• Did your parents take you on vacations when you were a child?
• Describe a trip you took as a child and what you remember about it.
• Do still have a bucket list of places you want to visit? Why those places?
• Did your parents play sports, and did you ever attend major sporting events?
• Describe the first trip you took on your own (without your parents) and what that was like for you.
• What’s the farthest place from home you’ve ever visited?
• What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen?
• What would you consider your biggest travel adventure?

Questions about their biggest accomplishments and proudest moments

• What were you good at as a child?
• Did you ever win an award for something you did?
• Do you have a story about your parents or immediate family that stands out as a proud moment?
• Did a teacher or parent ever tell you they were proud of you for something?
• What are you most proud of achieving in your life?

Questions about what makes them happy

• What made you happy when you were a child?
• Do you have a hobby or activity you do regularly that brings you joy?
• Name three things that make you truly happy.
• Describe some of the happiest times you’ve experienced in your life.
• What do you think people should do if they want to be happier?

Questions about life lessons and advice

• When you were young, did your parents or another adult give you any specific advice you remember?
• Was that advice good, and does it still resonate with you today?
• What advice would you offer from your own experiences to others?
• What obstacles in life did you overcome?
• What do you want future generations to remember most about you?
• Has a friend or relative ever shared an important life lesson with you?
• What has life taught you?

What’s the one question people usually forget to ask and then regret?

According to Quiat, one of the most important questions people forget to ask their relatives is: What advice would you give to future generations? “It can be of great value and insight to what was most important to the family member being interviewed, and it also actively brings the person listening into the picture,” she explains. It’s a chance to discover what your loved ones value most, what lessons they’ve learned and what wisdom they hope to pass down. Who knows? Their words might be exactly what a future grandchild needs to hear someday.

And don’t forget to dig into the little details behind your family’s biggest milestones. “Genealogists yearn for details, and an interview may reveal details about an event which you may only know names and dates,” says Lambert. For example, you might know when your grandparents got married, but do you know how they first met? Who made the first move? Lambert recommends asking relatives how they met their spouses or even how their own parents and grandparents fell in love. These conversations can uncover “a deep emotional memory that is never included in genealogical records and is often lost to time,” he says. After all, the dates might be written down somewhere, but it’s the stories behind them that really bring your family history to life.

What else is important to know about your family history?

Quiat and Lambert recommend capturing the kind of information you can’t easily find in records. Think old photographs, letters, diaries and family keepsakes, including who has them and where they’re stored. These little pieces of the past can tell you just as much about your family as the names and dates on a family tree.

There are also more personal parts of family history worth exploring, though they may call for a different conversation. Medical history, for example, can reveal important information about conditions that run in the family, but it’s not necessarily something to bring up during a casual interview about childhood memories. The same goes for sensitive subjects like adoption, divorce or painful family experiences.

“Proceed with caution, and ask the person you’re interviewing what they’re comfortable sharing,” says Quiat. It also matters what you plan to do with their answers. Someone might be happy to share a personal story privately but feel differently about having it recorded or shared with the wider family. The key is to make room for those conversations without making anyone feel pressured to share more than they want to.

What should you do with this information?

You’ve asked the questions, heard the stories and maybe even uncovered a few family secrets. Now comes the important part: making sure those memories don’t get lost. Before you do anything else, back up your recordings, notes and photos. “It’s devastating to have a long conversation and lose it if your phone or recording device is damaged,” Quiat says. Her advice? “Ensure it lives in more than one place and has a digital backup.”

Once everything is safely saved, organize your findings in a way that’s easy to revisit. You might create digital folders for different relatives, put together a family history scrapbook or compile recordings and photographs into a collection everyone can access. And don’t keep all those fascinating discoveries to yourself! “Your family stories will only live on if you pass them down,” Quiat says. She recommends sharing your materials with relatives, friends or whoever will be responsible for preserving them in the future.

Want to make sure those stories survive for generations? Consider donating your materials to an archive. “An archive is the safest place for your family stories to ensure they will stay organized, preserved and waiting for future generations to explore,” Quiat says. You can contact local oral-history projects or archives to see if they’ll accept your collection. After all, the stories you save today could become the family treasures someone discovers decades from now.

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on family history questions, Reader’s Digest Associate Editor Mariah Thomas tapped her experience covering history, family, relationships and more. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• David Allen Lambert, chief genealogist at American Ancestors; email interview, Oct. 16, 2026
• Sarah Quiat, interim director for the Wyner Family Jewish Heritage Center at American Ancestors; email interview, Oct. 16, 2026

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We’re not just talking a little unlucky in love. We’re talking so bad that it’s effectively been banned from use. Yikes! Also, we’re totally intrigued, and we’re betting you are too.

So which title comes with a whole lot of baggage, and what happened to the royals to whom it was given? And could it ever be brought back from (ahem) the dead? We asked royal historian Tracy Borman, author of The Private Lives of the Tudors: Uncovering the Secrets of Britain’s Greatest Dynasty, to shed some light on the title no modern royal would likely ever want.

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Which title is reportedly cursed?

The Duke of Clarence. It’s a “rare title,” Borman explains, and notable because of the way its three doomed holders died. “Each of them met a fairly sudden and unfortunate death,” she explains. We’ll get to that in a minute, but first, a little history about how this title came to be.

This duchy was created by King Edward III in 1362 for his third son, Lionel of Antwerp. But while it seems safe to say that the monarch had good intentions, it brought Lionel everything but luck, and the “curse” started with him, its very first holder. Lionel was in his early 20s when he received the title. And given his age, he still had his life ahead of him—or at least that’s what he and his family thought. But nobody could have imagined what happened soon after.

What happened to the former dukes of Clarence?

They all died way before their time—and in very unusual circumstances. Coincidence or curse? Keep reading, and decide for yourself.

Lionel of Antwerp (1338–1368)

King Edward III’s third son was born in Antwerp (hence, the name) and married Violante Visconti, daughter of Galeazzo II Visconti, the Lord of Milan. Six years after becoming the Duke of Clarence—and only a couple of months into his second marriage, to Violante—he passed away.

“He was just shy of his 30th birthday,” Borman says. “And he died so suddenly that it was believed he’d been poisoned by his father-in-law.” Let’s just say the Visconti family had a reputation for ruthlessness and the whole “ends justify the means” mentality. Still, there’s no actual confirmation that Lionel’s death was the result of foul play.

Thomas Lancaster (1387–1421)

Next came Thomas of Lancaster, second son of King Henry IV. He received the duchy when he was 24 or 25, in 1412. But this pairing was not meant to be. Borman notes that he was “very active on the battlefield and in government,” and he died while defending his country—but not particularly well. “He led the English in one of their most disastrous defeats to the French at the Battle of Baugé,” she says. “It was a fairly ill-advised attack, and he was killed at the age of 33.”

George Plantagenet (1449–1478)

The most famous Duke of Clarence was George Plantagenet—brother of King Edward IV and King Richard III—who died a rather spectacular death at age 28. “He was the classic middle son of the three brothers, a kind of traitorous character who was not at all trusted by either of his siblings,” says Borman.

George tried to dethrone his brother Edward IV, who then had him convicted for treason. “Famously, it’s said that the Duke of Clarence was able to choose the manner of his death, so he decided to be drowned in Malmsey wine, which was, apparently, his favorite wine,” Borman says. While there’s no proof that this actually happened, “he’s definitely gone down in history for that.”

Did anyone who held this title not meet a tragic end?

Technically, yes, but neither of them held the exact title Duke of Clarence—the two that got away both had extended versions of it. Plus, their lives weren’t all that rosy, as you’ll see.

Prince William Henry (1765–1837), also known as Duke of Clarence and St. Andrews, and later as King William IV, died of old age at 71. However, tragedy (and royal scandals) struck his home decades earlier: A notorious womanizer, William Henry had no less than 10 secret children with his mistress Dorothea Jordan, but he was pushed into marrying a more suitable woman, Princess Adelaide of Saxe-Meiningen. The royal couple had two daughters together, but they both died in infancy.

The other one who escaped a mysterious death was Prince Albert Victor, Duke of Clarence and Avondale (1864–1892). He died young, at the age of 28, but he was simply a victim of an influenza pandemic. That being said, rumor has it that he carried a dark secret. “Some authors have theorized that he was London’s serial killer Jack the Ripper,” Borman says. Wait, what?! The famous killer, of course, terrorized East London in the late 1800s. He murdered at least five women, all of them prostitutes, and was never caught. Jack the Ripper’s identity is still a mystery today.

Is this title still in use?

No. “It died out, as sometimes happens with ill-fated titles,” says Borman. While there’s no official explanation for this—and monarchs have generally been free to choose whatever title they wanted for their kids—Borman thinks the reason is likely because “there were three fairly bad ends met by Dukes of Clarence, [and] it’s therefore a title people didn’t really want.”

This doesn’t mean that the royals are particularly superstitious, although she adds, “historically, they probably were a bit.” Let’s be honest: Even if you don’t believe in curses, would you really take the risk and give that title to a loved one? The number of untimely deaths aside, there could be another reason why monarchs have shied away from the title. “The last real Duke of Clarence, George, was so notorious and such an enemy to the Crown that the idea of creating another Duke of Clarence was pretty abhorrent,” Borman says. Fair point!

Could any members of the current royal family receive this title?

Yes, but considering what happened to the previous holders, it seems highly unlikely. Rumor had it for a while that Kate and William’s youngest son, Prince Louis, could be named the next Duke of Clarence once William becomes king. But this probably won’t happen. “Historically speaking, you’ve got to be careful with titles,” Borman says. “If there’s any negative association, then people can be quite cautious about bringing them back.”

Plus, we just can’t imagine that Kate or William would want their son associated with a late duke who got drowned in liters of wine and another who tried to overthrow the reigning monarch—and his own brother! 

Sources:

• Tracy Borman, royal historian and author; phone interview, Oct. 23, 2027
• Debretts: “The Royal Dukedoms”
• Westminster Abbey: “Lionel of Antwerp, Duke of Clarence”
• Royal.uk: “William IV (r. 1830–1837)
• Historic Royal Palaces: “William IV: The unexpected king”
• BBC: “Jack the Ripper”

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