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Students need three disciple relationships.

• Parents. The primary mission for parents is to disciple their students to follow Jesus. When parents disciple, the heart connection goes deep. What they learn from parents goes deeper than anything they learn from other adults or peers.
• Adults. They cannot replace parents, nor do they need to be a peer. Students need adults to guild them much like bumpers in bumper bowling. Keep them out of the gutter. Be gentle about it. Keep them moving forward.
• Peers. Having students discipling students can be incredibly powerful. They get the opportunity to see how it is lived out on campus and in real life. Then, the momentum of these relationships can be powerful.

Any Student Ministry should have these three disciple relationships in mind. The stakes are high. If these three are present, then the likelihood of them continuing with God’s mission is almost guaranteed. If two are present then, the likelihood of students continuing with God’s mission is greatly increased.

As you plan Student Ministry, use these three simple questions as the foundation…

• How will we help parents disciple their students?
• How will we help adults disciple students?
• How will we help peers disciple their peers?

How are you using these three relationships in your ministry for discipleship?

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Time Magazine recently ran an article about a trend for girls to post on YouTube asking a simple question, “Am I ugly?”

Churches and student ministries have a huge opportunity to step in and build up students through healthy peer-to-peer relationships. Imagine a church full of students actually making disciples of each other. A church of students who look out for each other. A church of students who encourage each other.

What if students took other students under their wing and helped them find an identity in Christ?

Friends are vital for Students and Young Adults. Churches should leverage this need for SYA’s for the sake of advancing God’s Kingdom. For the sake of students being secure. For the sake of students not having to be belittled online or in person.

What would it take for our SYA’s to lead the charge in making disciples of each other?

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What’s the big deal about students having adults as friends? They’re not the same age, it doesn’t really matter.

If a student has just one adult who is close to them, the likelihood of them sticking with church skyrockets. If students have 6 adults who know them, it is almost impossible for them to leave.

Adults are vital to any ministry for Students and Young Adults. Very few SYA’s will go out seeking the relationship, but they desire it. Churches must be intentional in getting their adults to connect with youth. Student leaders and ministers must be intentional to not make ministry a one man show. You can’t know them all. If 1 adult can know 12 students on some sort of decent level, a student ministry of 60 student would need at least 5 key adults surrounding the student ministry…and those adults would be relationally maxed.

What do they need from the adults?

• Be real. Honest. Be themselves. Let the students be themselves. Listen.
• Challenge. The students want to grow. Challenge them to grow. Hold them accountable. Don’t be wishy-washy.
• Be passionate about something. Invite them along with you to do that. Teach them how to do it.
• Believe they can have a great future. Believe God wants to use them right where they are. Help them to find how God wants to use them.

One small investment into students will change the course of their life forever.

How do you get students and adults in contact with each other?

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Recently I watched GroundSWELL, a conference where students talked about the church and what they see from the church. Leadership Network led out in it. My bullet point notes for the vent.

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Get parents to disciple their student.

Disciples hear and obey God. Parents who are disciples teach their children to hear and obey God.

“I can’t get my kid to make the bed. How do I disciple them?”

No, I’ve never had a teenager. But I look forward to having the opportunity. I do know what others tell me, what the Bible tells me and what research says.

Research is clear. Students care the most about their parents and what they have to say…no matter how much they act like they don’t to you.
Research is clear. Topics studied from the Bible dig deeper into Student’s hearts if it is taught to them by a parent.

The Bible is clear. God wants parents to teach their children how to live a God-life in real life. He has put a heart connection inside the home that can never be replicated by any other adult.

What do you do?

The first thing you can do is the simplest thing you can do. Grab a Bible. Read a chapter (start with John) with your teen. Talk about what God is saying. Ask them what you can pray for their life. Tell them what you want them to pray for from your life (you might not be asked, but go ahead and tell them). Pray. Repeat tomorrow.

It may take some time if this is completely out of the blue. You may have to make an agreement to do it as a “trial run.” But my guess is that by the end of the book of John, the discussions will grow…inside and outside of this time.

Here are a couple of resources I have seen transform thoughts and lives because it helps parents and families center themselves on God and each other.

Parenting with Kingdom Purpose by Richard Ross and Ken Hemphill
30 Days: Turning The Hearts of Parents & Teenagers Toward Each Other by Richard Ross and Gus Reyes

Comment, what else will help parents disciple their students?

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Relationships.

They want to be on mission together. But really, don’t we all? We don’t want to be out there all alone. But, so often, we take the John Wayne approach to discipleship, even with students. We tell them, “It’s just you and Jesus.” Well, that is unbiblical and impractical. The church should be the BEST place to have GREAT relationships with parents, adults and peers.

If churches are able to give SYA’s ample opportunity to establish deep relationships in three areas, the likelihood of them staying on God’s mission increases dramatically.

What three relationships?

1. Parents.
2. Adults.
3. Peers.

All kinds of research has brought this to light, but I read again this week research backing up these three relationships as vital to the health of a SYA.

So, we’re going to take a look into these three relationships, how they are impactful and what the church can do to help facilitate these relationships.

Oh, in the meantime, comment and let us know how these three relationships played a key role in your life…or how you would have liked them to play a greater role.

UPDATE: Richard Ross, PhD. and Youth Ministry Professor at Southwestern Seminary says this…

The research is rock solid: Teenagers with two spiritually-alive parents, life-on-life discipling relationships with two spiritually-alive youth leaders, and a heart connection with an adult outside student ministry . . . almost all with follow Christ all their lives.

Richard Ross
http://www.facebook.com/rossrichard

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We’re taking a look at Students and Young Adults and church. They are seen as the “See Ya” Generation. They are saying “See Ya” to the church in droves. But how can we turn the tide and have them become the “See Ya” Generation? The generation that stays around the church and has incredible impact.

The key can be seen in a video game.

No, I’m not saying bring video games into your SYA ministry experience (although I’m not against it). But if video games is your strategy to get SYA’s to stick in church, you will see them leave. They can play at home. In their bedroom. On a better TV. In privacy.

What can we learn from Call of Duty (obviously we’re talking about guys especially. Gals have other things they gravitate towards)?

SYA’s  have a greater sense of community around a mission playing Call of Duty than they do in church.

What’s another name for “community around a mission?”

Fellowship.

Fellowship was never meant to be ice cream socials. Fellowship was meant to be community around a mission. A community of people coming together centered on one mission.

This is what held the early church together. This is what grew the early church. This is what pushed the Gospel to the known world within 100 years of Christ.

Interesting note to consider…many, if not most, of the first disciples were teenagers.

Do you want to keep SYA’s in church? Give them community around a mission. This will challenge SYA’s to stay around even though they get their driver’s license. You’ll give them something to drive to. This will challenge SYA’s to stay around even though they go to college. It will give them purpose outside of going to classes they’d rather not go to.

Build our SYA’s on community around mission. If we do, we’ll see the Gospel go to all of the world.

What can you do this week that can start the process of building community around a mission?

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Related articles

• “See Ya” Generation (rlpsgf.com)

SYA's want to be on a mission together. Pic from http://www.sxc.hu/profile/lusi

Students and Young Adults. SYA’s.

You could pronounce SYA’s as “See-ya-s”. I’m not an English major; so I know that’s not a real good pronunciation. But when we’re creating something new, we can create new lingo to go with it.

A lot has been made about SYA’s in today’s church culture. The dropout rate is staggering. They are the “See-Ya” generation. We seem to be saying “See ya” to them as they grow up. Everyone is asking, “What can be done?”

Real Life Project will work to help the church engage SYA’s with God’s presence and in ministry to others.

We believe they can become a different type of “See-Ya” generation. A “See Ya” generation where you “See Them” engaged in God’s mission.

We believe this is one of the key factors on if we will see them around church or not. Great music, bright lights and funny teaching will bring them in, but what will keep them?

SYA’s want to be engaged in mission. The evidence is in how much they are engaged around the world in creating reform in government, society, poverty and other areas. Inside the church, we need to tap into this desire and funnel them towards the mission of God.