There’s no such thing as privacy. At least not online.

For all the energy that has been spent trying to protect our privacy, the reality is that everything that I do online is recorded somewhere somehow. If someone really wanted to get access to my Facebook photos or my internet browsing history, they can get it.

That begs the question how I might use online technology in my ministry if there is no guarantee of privacy.

It’s only partly about me. It’s also about those that I am ministering to using these online tools. I want to not only protect myself, but protect those I minister to.

Can I really trust using online technology in my ministry?

Yes!

Lately, I’ve been reading more and more about how social media can help with building your platform. This is true if you are trying to build a personal brand, a corporate brand, or even a church ministry.

I agree. Social media and technology can be really helpful. And there is a plethora to choose from. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Google+, Pinterest, LinkedIn, MyFitnessPal, YouTube, Vimeo, online video games, websites, blogs, podcasts, etc… When used appropriately, they work well to reach out to the audience that you are trying to serve in ministry.

One of the challenges of social media is that it has come on so quickly, the policies change rapidly, and social media sites have come and gone in the blink of an eye (remember Friendster?).

The church has had a difficult time creating solid guidelines on how to use these tools. Whenever you create social media guidelines, there are 3 principles that should drive any policy:

1. It should protect those you minister to, especially if they happen to be minors (under 18 years old).
2. It should protect you as the minister.
3. It should protect the church as an institution.

So what are some good guidelines to keep in mind when using social media in your ministry?

• Create a Facebook Page that is separate from your personal profile.
• Any social media sites used by a ministry (like a Facebook page or a Twitter handle) are the property of the church that is leading that ministry.
• Always ask permission from your pastor/leader before setting up new social media tools for your ministry. Give your pastor/leader the password to all sites.
• Be selective and control the administrators of any social media site you have for your ministry.
• Post only group pictures, not photos of individuals.
• Do not tag or label anyone in pictures that you post.
• Create a photography/video consent form for members of your ministry to sign to give you permission to use their image.
• While anyone you minister to might be on the phone or texting late into evening hours, set and communicate the time frame when it is acceptable to make or receive non-emergency professional calls.
• Maintain a separate e-mail account for your professional communication and only use this account when communicating with members of your ministry.
• Be cautious whom you give your personal cell phone number to.
• Don’t friend everyone that wants to become your friend on Facebook (or other social media sites).

These are just a few guidelines that I have instituted in my own ministry or have seen instituted elsewhere.

Question: What other guidelines might you add to the list above?

The truth is that you and I believe things about our faith, our church, and the members of our church that may not be true. I’m not talking about doctrine, theology, or moral teaching. I’m talking about how faith is passed on and lived out by the members of my church.

Growing an Engaged Church, by Albert Winseman, is a Gallup book that researches churches and its members to determine some truths about faith and church.

For instance, the book states that, “Most churches determine their spiritual health in a similar way. They do a cursory examination (What shape is our building in? Do we like the music?) and then measure easy, basic stuff: membership, attendance, and giving” (35).

The author argues that this may not be the best way to measure how well members of a church are doing when it comes to their spiritual walk. In developing this argument, Winseman discovered 3 very critical myths that many in church leadership believe. If you are to truly measure the spiritual health of your church, then you must put to rest these 3 myths.

• Myth #1: Believing leads to belonging. The reality, according to Gallup analysis, is that belonging is far more likely to lead to believing.

• Myth #2: An active member is a faithful member. Gallup research has discovered that activity that is not the result of engagement leads to burnout. Engaged members often don’t realize how much service they contribute to their congregations, because they don’t think of serving as a duty or responsibility; they most frequently describe it as a joy.

• Myth #3: Personal faith leads to public action. Individuals who are highly spiritually committed do serve more, invite more, and give more than do individuals who have a low level of spiritual commitment. But Gallup research has revealed that the factor with the greatest influence on these outcomes is engagement.

Excerpts taken from pages 43-46.

Question: Do these myths surprise you? Do you agree or disagree? Why?

photo by Stuart Hines

A secular University wanted to do a study on pornography. More specifically, they wanted to study men that had never watched or saw pornography. Their goal was to see, in this day and age when it is so readily available and accepted by many as a norm, what caused a man not to be exposed to it. Not knowing what the conclusion might be, they set off to find, study, and interview men that had never been exposed to pornography.

Their conclusion was quite shocking. In the end, they had to cancel their research because they were not able to find any men who had never been exposed to porn.

I had the wonderful opportunity to give a workshop on the topic of pornography to 50 male teenagers in high school that were attending a week-long retreat.

As I led my workshop, I shared with them research that states that the number one users of pornography are males ages 14-18. I pointed around the entire circle of guys and said one word: “You.”

Before the internet and before the world of mobile devices, finding pornography was a little more difficult. Now, with everyone having smart phones, iPads, and laptops, it is easier to find pornographic material than it is to find drugs and alcohol.

After sharing a little about my own experience and talking about why men should not be engaged in look at pornography, I went on to share 5 practical strategies that can help a guy protect themselves from it.

1. Beware of gateway porn. Sometimes, guys look at images online that are not porn, say, images of Victoria Secret models or girls in bathing suits. Those types of images don’t quite have the same affect on guys as pornography. However, they can lead guys with a desire to want to see more. Before he knows it, he’s looking at porn.
2. Don’t take your smartphone, laptop, iPad, iPod, or anything else that has internet connectivity alone in your room. That is the time that guys are most vulnerable. I know some families that do not allow any devices or computers in bedrooms. These items can only be used in common areas, like the living room or kitchen. That may mean you need to use something other than your phone for an alarm clock, but it is worth it if you want to stay away from pornography.
3. Create securities on your browsers. Yes, a guy could easily change the securities if they wanted to see pornography, but it creates one more step that just might discourage a guy from looking at it, knowing that he has to go through the hassle of disabling the security he created for himself.
4. Find a male accountability partner. Choose a male friend who can challenge you to be a better man. If I know that my accountability partner is going to ask me whether I’ve looked at pornography in the past month, I’m even more convicted to stay away from it. Anytime I bring something out of the darkness into the light, healing can begin.
5. Pray to God about your temptation. Talk to a priest. Go to reconciliation. The temptation to view pornography is not something that guys can solve on their own. I need the grace and mercy of God to help me through this temptation and the many other challenges of life.

By now, you’re asking yourself why I’m writing about pornography on my blog. I admit, it’s a topic that is a little out of character.

The reason is that, for something that affects so many guys, including Christian guys, churches do not talk about pornography enough (if at all). The church needs to respond to the pastoral needs of their community. Having workshops like the one I gave to the 50 male teenagers on retreat is necessary.

Scripture talks about the need to bring what is in the darkness into the light. Pornography is an unspoken and real darkness in the lives of men. As leaders, you and I need to consider what types of ministries are needed for the men of our community.

Question: What are some specific ways that you might be able to minister to men in your church?

photo by thealmightyprophetgitboy

In this video, Ken Blanchard shares one of the four keys to effective leadership. He states that to determine whether a leader is a self-serving leader or not depends on how the leader received feedback.

Question: After watching this video, how do you think you receive feedback?

photo by French Disko

One of the common questions I have heard ministry leaders ask is this: what are the mega-churches doing right that we’re not doing?

That’s actually not a bad question. I don’t believe that you should focus solely on comparing yourself with other churches in your areas, but learning from our Christian brothers and sisters can be a good idea.

The fact is, the mega churches you and I often hear about are clearly doing something right that causes their attendance to hit 20,000+ each weekend. Some of these churches might be Evangelical, Mainline Protestant, non-denominational, or Catholic. They each bring their own charisms to the community of Christ, which is why they attract different populations of Christians.

I had the fortune of attending 3 different churches when I was in high school. Each were different denominations. Then, in college, and early in my ministry career, I made it a point to visit other churches on numerous occasions. Sometimes I visited them out of curiosity. Other times, because a friend invited me. Each visit was a tremendous learning opportunity.

From my experience, there are 4 tactics that mega churches use that help them grow.

1. Hospitality is king. It never fails. When I visit one of these churches, I’m greeted a minimum of 4 times before I enter the doors of the church. Usually, it is in the parking lot, in the main patio, and as I am about to enter the doors of the church. The same thing happens on my way out of the church. It’s not fake. It is genuine. They make me feel welcome and I often feel instantly at home. How many times are your parishioners and guests greeted before they walk into the doors of the church? And if that wasn’t enough, the hospitality team finds an opportunity to follow up with me during the week with a thank you email or card. When I receive that, I’m definitely more interested in attending in the future. Does your church have a hospitality team?
2. They don’t cater to every population. Although they welcome all that choose to attend, they specialize on certain segments of the population. Maybe, at first, they focus on young families or youth. As the church grows, that is when they begin to expand their ministry to other populations that they are missing. The challenge with many churches is that they try to meet the needs of everyone. In the process, they end up meeting the needs of no one. Focusing on a target audience may be a smart way to begin to provide great ministry that will then help your ministry and church grow.
3. They focus on evangelization. Churches that grow often name one of their values as evangelization. The churches that grow the most are the ones that are able to instill in everyone that evangelization is everyone’s responsibility, not just the leaders in the church. Many of the churches I have attended were often a result of an invitation from a friend. When the community goes out and invites their friends and family, some are bound to come back again, especially if they experience the kind of hospitality that makes them feel welcome. Have your members taken ownership of evangelization? It starts with the leaders in the church. If you wouldn’t invite people to your church, why would anyone in the pew do it?
4. They connect you with the community. It could be a special BBQ event one Sunday, or encouraging you to be part of a small faith sharing community, or it could be a simple dinner at someone’s house. Ultimately, what gets someone to stay in a church is that they feel connected with people in the community. How can you foster opportunities for people to connect with the church community beyond the Sunday mass or service?

Notice I didn’t mention anything about good music, good preaching, or a big budget. These may be aspects that help, but I don’t believe they are primary to the 4 tactics I mentioned. Yes, every church should continue to improve its music and preaching. Once someone connects with your church, music and preaching can help them grow in their faith. But the 4 tactics come first.

Question: Which of the 4 tactics can you adopt that could help your church grow?

photo by Horia Varlan

One of the joys in my ministry is being able to minister with friends.

One of the challenges in my ministry is being able to minister with friends.

In my role, I have the opportunity to lead many different ministries and I need a lot of volunteers to help make the ministry happen. I am fortunate enough that I have many friends that are involved in church and have been willing to volunteer for my ministry.

These aren’t just acquaintances. These are friends that I do life with. We go to each others’ parties. We are in a small group together. Our kids like to hang out with each other. These people mean a lot to me.

It is a joy to work with them in ministry. That joy can also turn to challenge when we begin to confuse our roles.

In ministry, I have the “director” hat on. I am the leader, the supervisor, the manager, and the one in charge. In essence, we are not equals. I am responsible for them, their performance, and the overall ministry.

At home, I wear the “friend” hat. We are equals and we enjoy each others’ company. I am only responsible for our friendship.

The challenge comes when someone begins to confuse the roles. For instance, I sometimes have to make a decision in my ministry in which one of my volunteers, who also happens to be a friend, doesn’t like. If the boundaries between friend and director are not set up properly, then that decision begins to negatively affect my friendship.

This is when trouble begins to arise. Tension begins to surface in the friendship. If it is not dealt with immediately, the real possibility exists that you lose a volunteer and a friend. Unfortunately, this has happened to me in the past.

As the leader, it is your job to mitigate against this tension and set boundaries up front. I recommend that you do the following:

• Clarify your hats. When your friend begins to volunteer, have an honest conversation at the beginning about the two hats you wear. Encourage them to also wear two hats: “volunteer” and “friend.” When you come to the ministry, you promise to where the “director” hat and they should promise to wear the “volunteer” hat. When doing life together, promise to each wear the “friend” hat.

• Don’t talk about ministry business while wearing the “friend” hat. Once you have established the different hats you each wear, it is up to you to take the lead and make sure that there is no confusion around when to talk about ministry.

• Don’t involve spouses when the “director” and “volunteer” hat are on. What my wife appreciates about our friends who are also volunteers is that they don’t talk to her about things that are going on in the ministry, especially the complaints. Every volunteer has a right to complain about me as a leader, because sometimes I make mistakes. Sharing that with my wife is confusing the boundaries and creates unnecessary tension. I, also, won’t talk to my volunteers spouse about ministry. I’ve done that before and it became awkward very quickly. I learned my lesson.

• Periodically check in about the boundaries. I should have periodic check in’s with all my volunteers. Part of the conversation with the volunteers who are also my friends is to check in to see how we are doing with our hats.

It makes ministry easier when I clarify the boundaries with my volunteers/friends up front.

Question: Has there been a time when you confused your hats? What happened?

photo by mikebaird

I had a meeting recently with one of my key volunteers who is helping lead a big ministry project. I was sharing my expectations of her within the context of her volunteer job description.

As I often do, I turned the conversation around. I asked her point blank: “What are your expectations of me?”

Since we have worked together for quite some time on different projects, she only mentioned one: “I expect you not to get that involved in the project.”

Wow. That’s a statement many ministry leaders would like to hear.

The reality is that I trust her completely to lead the ministry project I have entrusted to her. She knows that. Is she perfect at the role? No. Is she really good at the role? Yes.

I often fall prey to the idea that I can do ministry better than any of my volunteers. That may be true some of the time, but not always. However, it is that attitude that stops me from fully trusting and empowering my volunteers to do the job I have given them to do.

Can I really trust my volunteers? The answer is a resounding “Yes!”

However, trust is not something I just give away easily. It is something that is earned. A competent and trustworthy volunteer has done certain things that encourage me to trust them.

Here are 4 reasons that cause me to trust my volunteer:

• They are 100% honest with me. The funny thing about ministry is that people feel like they have to sugarcoat the truth. This is motivated by the desire not to cause conflict. I understand that feeling, but I need volunteers who tell it like it is. I need them to tell me everything I need to know, good or bad. In turn, I know that I can be 100% honest with them. I really value this in my volunteers.

• I have worked with them numerous times. Nothing beats experience, time, and a history of working with someone. Trustworthy relationships take time to develop. I sometimes wish it could happen overnight, but the reality is different. Once I have worked with someone, I have a much better sense of their style, their personality, and their gifts and strengths. This allows me to better position them for success. Plus, I usually have had the opportunity to train them as a volunteer minister.

• They excel in their role. Basically, they do excellent work. This could mean all sorts of things. They are organized, they have made wise decisions, they work well with people, and they get the job done.  When one of your volunteers succeeds, it becomes easier to trust them. However, my role is to do everything in my power to make sure they succeed.

• They haven’t given me a significant reason not to trust them. No volunteer is perfect. I expect them to mess up and fail from time to time. I’m okay with that. There are certain things that a volunteer can do to make me lose my trust in them. Aside from the biggies, there are some small things that make me lose confidence in my volunteer. Examples would be always being late, not showing up to meetings or events, or abusing social media. This list could go on and on. I imagine you have your list of things that causes you not to trust a volunteer.

In the end, my goal is to empower and equip my volunteers to succeed and grow the ministry beyond what I, myself, am capable of. I can only do that if I can trust my volunteers enough to hand them ministry projects and walk away to develop other areas of the ministry.

I still need to continue to support them. That support becomes a lot easier when I trust them.

Question: What does a volunteer do that causes you to trust them?

photo by Velo Steve

It happens to the best of us. At some point, you realize that you don’t like your ministry.

It’s not a long-term thought. It’s more of a fleeting and passing thought that this ministry you once loved is getting on your nerves. If nothing changes, as time progresses, you start to think about moving into another ministry or job and finding yourself really unhappy.

You are experiencing burn out.

Fortunately, there are many warning signs that burn out is ensuing. Here are 7 signs that you may be heading towards burn out. If you recognize these signs, it’s time to make a change to avoid the negative experience of burn out.

• You worked 7 days in a row. I don’t care what anyone says, this is not healthy. Weekends are often a part of the job. Determine to have 2 days off each week. The day can vary, but try to pick the same day each week. When you are forced to work on your day off, pick another day in the week to take off. That means no meetings, no emails, no phone calls, and no prep work. A day off means doing nothing for your ministry.

• You forget to eat meals. I really like food. I’m so shocked when I hear about people forgetting to eat. When you forget to eat, that means you are too busy. Sure, missing a meal here or there because you are enthralled in your work is one thing. Missing meals constantly is a bad sign.

• You constantly work 12-hour days. I’ve been known to put in 12-hour days from time to time. Usually, it is before a big event or retreat. But this is a rare thing. If you find yourself putting in a 12-hour day more than once or twice a month, it is time to examine your workload or schedule.

• You haven’t taken a real vacation in a year. I’ll be honest, I have a lot of vacation time stored up. This is not a good thing. That means I haven’t taken extensive time off in awhile. I need it not only to relax, but to stay connected with my family. You get vacation time for a reason. Use it.

• You become impatient at even the smallest annoyances. I’m pretty patient, most of the time. Yet, there are times I find myself so annoyed by the little things that happen. All that means is that I need to take it easy. It’s time to use some of that vacation.

• You begin to avoid people. Ministry is about people. There will always be people that I enjoy spending time with and those that I find I have to muster up the best attitude I have to be with them. When I am getting close to burn out, I find myself not wanting to spend time with people. I sometimes confine myself to my desk and hope no one comes and talks to me.

• You keep getting sick. I’m not someone who gets sick very often. When I do get sick, it is usually during a busy time. If I have too many busy and stressful times in my ministry year, I tend to get sick more. My body is telling me to slow down and get some rest.

Burn out is obviously something that needs to be avoided. It is also something that can sneak up on me. I need to pay attention to these warning signs to avoid trouble.

Question: What are the other warning signs that burn out is ensuing?

photo by no_typographic_man

I recently was listening to Michael Hyatt’s podcast, “How to Read a Non-Fiction Book.” I was really intrigued by the topic as I try to read daily a non-fiction book that will help me in my leadership.

He shared two tips that were really helpful to me.

The first was that he doesn’t feel the need to retain all the information he learned from reading a book. He said that the process of reading itself allows the mind to think and change in different ways. It’s good to retain the big nuggets that are helpful, but he freed me from the idea that I need to spit out verbatim the key points or messages in the book.

The second tip he shared that helped me was about how he selects books to read. The best way to find a good non-fiction book is to listen to the recommendations of his friends and family. The most quality books I’ve read have come in the form of recommendations.

With that said, I’d like to hear from you what books you are reading or have read that have transformed your leadership and ministry.

I recently did a whole blog series on the book, Forming Intentional Disciples, by Sherry Weddell. This was a ministry changing book for me!

The other books that I have read lately are these:

• The 4-Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss
• 10 Building Blocks for a Solid Family by Jim Burns
• Start by Jon Acuff
• Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
• The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John C. Maxwell

You’ll notice that not all of the books are necessarily ministry oriented, yet, they have all helped me in my ministry in some way, shape, or form. I recommend each of them as they have served interesting purposes in my life right now.

Question: What books have you read that have helped transform your leadership and ministry?

photo by hubertk

Tis the season. For what, you ask?

Many churches begin to prepare for the transition of their pastor. July 1 is the typical day when a new pastor starts in a new church.

Many leaders in the church tend to get anxious during this time. Many questions run through their mind as they try to “guess” what the next pastor will be like.

• Will he be supportive of my ministry?
• Is he a micromanager?
• What’s his vision for the church?
• Is he going to fire us and bring in all new people?
• Is he a good pastor?

It’s normal to ask those questions, and they are good questions to ask. I have colleagues on the Diocesan level that have the same apprehensions when they are expecting a new bishop. The challenge for them is that they are often told to not start anything new until the new bishop comes.

Basically, they are being asked to maintain the status quo until new leadership arrives.

Relax. There is no need to fear. Most pastors don’t come in assuming that your church is in need a major overhaul. Often times, they spend the first year just getting to know the new church community before instituting anything major.

If you are expecting a new pastor or bishop, I’d recommend doing these things while you wait.

• Keep planning ahead for your ministry. Don’t wait for the new leader to come in and tell what to do. They often won’t tell you what to do. Plus, you are the keeper of the vision for your ministry. You are the expert. Keep moving forward.
• Tie up all loose ends before the old pastor leaves. There is a sense of urgency during this time that you can take advantage of. The outgoing pastor wants to tie up loose ends too, and often decisions can be made much more quickly than before. This is a great time to make some significant changes that you’ve been wanting to make, but couldn’t until now.
• Don’t assume a worst-case scenario about the new pastor. This doesn’t help your attitude or the people around you. Assume the best and have a good attitude.
• Don’t talk badly about the outgoing or the incoming pastor. That’s just not cool and sets you up for disaster.
• Prepare now for your first meeting with the new pastor. Set up an agenda outlining what you want to share with him about your ministry and how. This is your opportunity to set a good first impression about you as a ministry leader and your ministry.

Remember that pastors are human, too. They have apprehensions and fears about coming into a new church community and are probably asking some of the same questions that you are asking. Be prepared and have a good attitude about the transition in leadership.

Question: Are you expecting a new pastor? What are you doing in preparation?