photo by Sean MacEntee

When I was young, I used to want to be a leader. In elementary school, during recess, I would jockey for position with the boys to be the captain of our pick-up game of baseball, football, or whatever sport we were playing that day. Honestly, I rarely became the captain.

Then I would jockey for position to be chosen first among the boys because we all knew that if you were chosen last, you were considered the worst player on the field. That was never a fun feeling.

In our culture, we learn early on that leadership is about position. Captain of the team. President of the class. It just happens. We look at the president of a country, or the CEO of a fortune 500 company, or the pastor of a church. We think that is true leadership. A position.

Is it?

Maybe.

We’ve seen it before. The pastor of a church who has the position but does not have the ability to lead the organization. The youth ministry coordinator who works with youth but gets little respect from the volunteers or youth.

Position = Leadership

That is the great leadership hoax that we have bought into through our culture. I recommend a new formula that authors and speakers have spent much time working and thinking on:

Position ≠ Leadership

Influence = Leadership

The greatest way to lead is to gain influence from those I am working with. You probably know this to be true.

Let me share an example: in the ministry office I work in, I have positional authority over two people. They are my team. However, there are many other ministry departments and staff members in our office that I do not supervise. When our ministries connect, we work together and collaborate. Am I a leader in their eyes? For many of them, yes. Do I have positional authority over them? No. Yet they see me as a leader. Why?

Because they have chosen me as someone that they want to work with and follow.

Because of my position, my team of two does not have the choice to follow. In many ways, they have to follow me (although I know my influence with them is greater than just positional). Everyone else? For fellow staff members, volunteers, youth, etc.? Well, they choose to follow me or not.

That’s the power of influence as leadership. If they choose to follow me because I have earned the role of leader in their lives, then the ability I have to affect positive change in their lives and in the church is much higher.

Leadership is influence.

How do you build influence with those you minister with?

What did you learn from this video? Let me know your thoughts.

I learned that we have multiple leadership roles in our lives. Some our organization, and others are “life roles.”

photo by @boetter

The personal growth series continues (for a few more weeks on Tuesdays). We’ve talked about why personal growth is important, reading, and filing. Now it’s time to move to thinking.

Thinking. There’s a tough one. Don’t I think everyday? Biologically, yes. The question really is, am I thinking on the right things?

Our economy has moved from a world of skill knowledge to a world of intellectual knowledge. What I mean is that our economy used to be driven by what you know how to do. It was all about manufacturing. Can you build a car? Can you fix a computer? More and more, that’s not the case anymore. Business, industry, and, yes, ministry, is paying a premium on intellectual knowledge. This is about the ideas that one can create.

That’s where thinking and writing come into play.

Church is ever changing. To reach out to those that we serve, and to be effective at it, we need to be innovative in our thinking and ideas. The same old model of ministry and church does not always work. Yet, too many of us, me included, stick with the model we know, sometimes to the detriment of our ministry.

Spending intentional time thinking out ideas is really important to yours and my success in ministry. How do I do this?

All of us are struck with a good idea for our ministry. It happens quite often. That initial idea, though, needs some tweaking and massaging to make it a better idea. It is not a perfect thought when it comes out of your brain. It needs help.

When I have a good idea, here are some things I try to do with it:

• Write if down: If I don’t write it down, I lose the thought. I think I’ve lost a ton of ideas that were really good because I never wrote it down. Write it down!

• Spend 15-30 minutes with the thought: It’s amazing how some concentrated time on a single thought allows me to make a good idea even better. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time. Oh, and keep writing down what you are thinking.

• Talk to others about the idea and get feedback: This is my favorite. My thoughts and ideas always get better when I talk them through with others. This does two things for me. One, it helps me articulate my thought better as I try to explain it. Two, feedback from other people helps me refine and rework the idea to make it even better! Oh, and keep writing down the ideas and feedback people offer you.

It’s amazing how doing these three things can allow me to expand my mind and ideas. The problem is that we are in a culture that is all about do, do, do! We have tasks galore! If we are to truly be effective leaders in ministry, then taking some time out to think these thoughts is essential.

What’s one good idea you’ve come up with in the past month? Have you spent any time thinking on it?

photo by opensourceway

I used to think that as I got older, I would get better at things and become a better person. The fact is that I feel that I’m not getting better. Sometimes, I feel like I’m getting worse.

A few weeks back, I was working on a ministry project that was very detailed oriented. I’ll be honest, I’m not a detail guy. I was ultimately the person responsible for the job, but I found myself doing a very peculiar thing. I kept passing on the project to someone else to finish up.

The particular person I was passing it on to is very detailed oriented, but this was not their job. As I was “passing the buck” to her, it became clear very quickly that I was asking her to do something that was not her responsibility and she had some frustration about it, rightly so.

I made a mistake. Unfortunately, this was one that I have made before. I haven’t become a better leader. I haven’t learned from my mistakes.

I tried my best to reconcile the situation. I called her and shared with her my frustration with the process and my apology for clearly asking her to do more than she was responsible for. We cleared up some things, and continued to move forward.

The fact is, as a leader in ministry, we are going to make mistakes. In fact, I believe that if I haven’t made many mistakes, that means I’m not risking enough or trying to expand my leadership skills and ministry.

How do I react to my mistakes? This is an attitude issue. Here are a few ways I’ve reacted to my mistakes in the past.

• Get really mad at myself. I clearly remember one night playing basketball as a teenager at a gym for a church event. I kept missing my shots. So what did I decide to do? Punch a wall. Needless to say, my hand became so swollen and bruised that I was unable to play the rest of the night. Dumb. I’d be lying to you if I said that I still don’t get mad at myself. I do get mad at myself, I just don’t punch walls anymore.

• Shrug it off. Sometimes, I just don’t care if I made a mistake or not. I don’t take responsibility and I don’t work to fix the situation. Worse yet, I might just totally ignore the situation.

• Reconcile and learn. This is the best option. When I make a mistake, like in the situation above, I need to immediately move to reconcile the situation if people were involved (and people are always involved.) Then, I need to reflect on the experience, learn from the mistake, and never make the mistake again.

I’m not perfect at this. I find myself making the same mistakes over and over again. Clearly, I’m not learning from my past experience. However, I know I handle mistakes much better than I did when I was younger.

How do you react when you make mistakes?

photo by TheBazile

I’m an optimistic person. In fact, I’ve let optimism blind me from realism. This has caused me trouble many times in the past. If you work in ministry, it is your tendency to be optimistic. Why? As Christians, we believe in a faith that brings us hope. Hope of salvation. Hope of peace. Hope.

I have had hopes that a volunteer was going to be a perfect fit in my ministry. They seemed to have all the right skills. They were committed, passionate, and loved their church and God. I can find a place for them in my ministry. Perfect.

Then reality sets in and my optimism is replaced with realism.

Soon after, I discover that the volunteer is not working out as well as I hoped. In fact, I have quickly discovered that this particular volunteer was a wrong fit.

The fact is that I often ignored the warning signs that a volunteer was a wrong fit. What are those warning signs?

1. The volunteer consistently arrives a couple minutes late.

On occasion, we all get in a bind and arrive late to a ministry event or program. That’s fine. The key word here is consistently. I reason with myself, “They were just a few minutes late. No big deal.” But it is. When a volunteer arrives consistently late, that is a warning sign that they are not committed to the ministry. Soon, they begin to arrive ten minutes late, then 15 minutes late. Then they don’t show up at all leaving you and the rest of your team in a bind.

2. The volunteer posts inappropriate comments on social media.

I never go trolling for information on my volunteers on social media sites, but I am connected with some of my volunteers, so naturally, our social media worlds collide. I’ve seen time and time again how people use social media to share with the world their shenanigans. I’m a big fan of social media, but some things should not be said. This is about boundaries. We need to always be aware of appropriate and inappropriate boundaries. I should be concerned if I see things on social media that indicates a lack of understanding on boundaries. We especially have to be careful of comments shared that are contrary to Christian teaching. Lack of boundaries on social media could indicate a lack of boundaries with face-to-face relationships.

3. The volunteer begins to badmouth others.

The moment we allow a culture of gossip is when the entire team of volunteers becomes ineffective. Gossip and badmouthing others should never be allowed. Don’t fool yourself in thinking that if you just address the problem with that volunteer it will go away. Gossips don’t stop gossiping because I confronted them once on the issue. This person is a wrong fit.

What are some warning signs that you would add to the list?

Yup! Every Wednesday, I’m going to try and post some video that adds value to you and me as a leader.

This week: First Follower: Leadership Lessons from Dancing Guy.

What leadership lessons do you take away from this video that you can apply to your ministry?

For me, I need a team to create momentum. I can’t do it on my own.

photo by Daveybot

Continuing to share about personal growth, this week, we’re going to talk about filing. I know what you’re thinking. “Great. Filing. Just what I need is to file more stuff.” Well, it’s not what you think.

If you’re like me, you have a terrible time retaining all the great stuff that you learned while reading. I highlight and highlight, and all too often, the book goes back on the shelf never to be opened again. Did a magically memorize everything I read or highlighted? No.

I created a filing system to help me remember the good stuff I’m learning. My system is quite simple: I create simple word documents by subject, like equipping, success, personal growth, youth ministry, etc… As I read more and more good stuff, I create more and more files. I wait until I have something to file under a certain category before I create a file. For instance, I didn’t create a “theology” file until I had some good content to put in that file.

Then whatever I highlight (or whatever I learn), I “file” away into the appropriate word document on the subject. Basically, I re-type stuff I’ve read or experiences I’ve had into the appropriate word document.

This does two things for me:

1. I’m forced to write out what I am learning, which helps me remember it.

2. I have great information filed away for when I need to go do research on the subject. For instance, when I’m asked to give a workshop on how best to recruit volunteers, I not only use my experience, but I go into my “recruit” file and my “volunteer” file to see what type of good content I can find that will help me build on my ideas and develop my workshop. It’s the same when I write on a certain subject.

What types of things do I file? Quotes, stories, strategies and processes, experiences I’ve had, etc… Almost anything!

A perfect example: the other day I was flying to an out of town meeting. I picked up the airlines magazine to browse through it. I found two great articles about Al Roker (the weatherman on the “Today” show), and Tom Shaw (a former NFL coach who runs some sports camps). As I read those articles, I immediately found value in the lessons they were talking about which I could apply to ministry. (Look for those blog posts later.) So what did I do? I took the magazine home and “filed “ those articles.

It’s a great way to retain great information that can help me in my leadership roles and in ministry. It works for me. Maybe it can work for you.

How do you retain lessons learned from books and other experiences you’ve had?

photo by dingler1109

I was in a meeting recently where I was asked to give a brief report about a ministry assessment. When the time had come to give the report, I sped right into it. I was ready and had all the documentation needed. I immediately started talking about the ministry assessment, analyzing it, and sharing some feedback.

As I was speaking, I received a look from a colleague. It was one of those looks. It didn’t phase me. I kept going.

My colleague stopped me, seemingly a little nervous about interrupting. She said that she needed me to slow down because she didn’t have the documentation available and neither did some of the other people around the table. I was explaining things and they had no idea what I was talking about.

I stopped talking. I waited until everyone was ready. I must have looked like I was impatient about this pause. In actuality, I was. I looked at my colleague and she felt bad about having to stop me. I looked unhappy. I wasn’t. I was just impatient, but I was not unhappy.

Once everyone was ready, I went ahead and finished the report.

I knew that I had made my colleague a little uncomfortable at the meeting. I felt bad about that. After our meeting had finished, I immediately went up to her to speak about the situation. “I know I tend to work fast and be a little impatient at times, but thank you for stopping me,” I said. “I really appreciate you doing that.” We joked about it and all was well.

The fact is, I make mistakes. I made a mistake at that meeting. I need to ensure open and honest dialogue where everyone feels comfortable. I didn’t do that well that day. I also work in church, which calls us to reconciliation. I needed to reconcile myself with her. That’s why I did what I did.

As a leader, building relationships is key. Letting the team know that I made a mistake and asking for forgiveness is important. I learned that day a couple principles that have helped me in my ministry leadership.

• Speak with the individual right away. When I make a mistake, or I hurt someone in some way, it is my responsibility as a leader to reach out to that individual. It stops things from getting worse if I ignore the issue. In essence, it is about healing the relationships in my life when I have done something wrong. I have gained greater influence because of my actions.

• Model the way for other leaders. When I make mistakes, I need to personally admit that mistake, apologize, and then take right action. I want other ministry leaders to do the same, but the only way I can do that is to model it. This is key to relational ministry.

How do you feel about approaching others when you make a mistake? Is it an easy or difficult thing to do? Why?

photo by Scott Hamlin

Your ministry is growing. You’ve had some success and you are choosing new areas and programs to expand your ministry. You need more volunteers in your ministry.

What qualities would you want in the people on your team? Go ahead. Write down those qualities. I’ll wait…

Done? Okay. Hold on to that list for a second.

One of the more challenging aspects of being involved in ministry is recruiting volunteers. As my ministry grows, my need for great volunteers rises. It’s a direct correlation. Yet, it can be difficult to find great volunteers. They’re out there, but how do I find volunteers that are:

• Committed?

• Passionate about Christ?

• Know their gifts and strengths?

• Enthusiastic?

• Live with integrity?

That is no easy feat, but it can be done.

I could spend these next 500 words talking about lots of different strategies about recruiting volunteers to come on my team. The fact is that you are probably well equipped to share with me what works and what doesn’t work.

There’s only one major principle I follow to recruit volunteers:

Be the type of person I would want as a volunteer.

We naturally attract who we are. For example, is it any surprise that most of my friends are involved in ministry? No, because I’m involved in ministry. The best way to recruit great volunteers is to be great myself. Like a magnet, I will attract great volunteers as I practice being committed, passionate about Christ, knowing my strengths, being enthusiastic, and living with integrity. It’s the law of magnetism. Who you are is who you attract.

So who are you? What type of people are you attracting?

Go back through the list of qualities that you named that you would want in your volunteers. Put a check mark next to the qualities that you think you embrace. For example, if one quality you wrote down was “adaptable,” and you think you are adaptable, but a check mark next to it. If you don’t think you embrace that quality, but an X next to it.

Take inventory of who you are as a leader. If I want people who are passionate about their relationship with Christ and the church, I need to be passionate about my relationship with Christ. If I want people with a positive attitude, I need to be that. If I want volunteers who are serious about learning and growing and becoming what God intended them to be, then I need to be that as well!

You attract who you are. Work on being the type of volunteer you would want. Start with the list of qualities you wrote down.

What qualities do you look for in a volunteer? Do you embrace that quality?

What did you learned from this talk?

One quick lesson I learned: start with the why, not the what.